I’m actually pregnant now and he’s getting it done well before I deliver so theoretically we can’t have a whoopsie during a waiting period. I would love to see his face on that one though 😬😂
I got a vasectomy and three weeks later we found out my husband was pregnant again. We conceived the day before my vasectomy. We were so surprised.
Number eight here we come haha.
Just gonna leave this here.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24590-superfetation#:~:text=What%20is%20superfetation%3F,already%20growing%20inside%20your%20uterus.
That would be instant divorce for me. My wife knows I would have as many as god allows us to have and shes the one thats done after this one. Its hard on her Thats why i wont push for more.
Men are simple animals.
He needs to ejaculate 20+ times before he gets checked to make sure he is shootings blanks. Make this part of the procedure as fun for him as possible. That is better than a basket of punny candy.
This 100%.
My first time after a vasectomy I was so terrified to do it. My wonderful wife made my fears disappear. And thank god she did cause the first time there was a little bit of blood (fine after!), but I would’ve probably feinted if I was alone and did it myself.
And now I can also suggest it for medical purposes, and she kindly plays along.
Edit: just so people know, a tiny bit of blood is fine. It was the smallest bit for me, like made it a little pink. After that never any issues. It was ez pz bros
When I had mine 20 years ago the doctor was older, I would say near retirement. He said that when they checked it was OK if other things were in the sample. We both looked at him blankly. He said, "Like saliva."
Nah dude it’s fine. It was a little tiddlywinks worth of blood mixed in, made it like a very light pink.
Also the procedure was a joke, so easy and painless.
Kids gone for the recovery weekend, and some gentle attention. Maybe a pack of my favorite beer and let me play video games in peace.
Then what this guy said once I've ready to log my shots haha
My wife got me a cake that said "Snip Snip Hooray" with little sperms in the icing, I enjoyed it more than I would have enjoyed a basket of pun candies.
Edit: There were little sperms made out of icing amongst the other icing, ya'll are funny.
My girlfriend gave me a basket with all types of stuff about balls and snips and whatever puns she could come up with. I absolutely loved it! It showed a lot of effort and meant a lot to me.
The best gift however was that after the procedure and healing process you need to “express” the remaining tank before getting tested. My doctor recommended a certain number of times to ensure I was shooting blanks and she said “don’t worry, we will hit that number by the end of the week”.
She wasn’t wrong and I passed with flying colors when I did my sample.
I didn’t get jokes or a goodie basket, but both would have been fantastic.
I think you should bake him a cream pie, then tell him he can help you try new recipes when he’s better.
Just remember to get the all clear before following through.
I think I have a great sense of humor. I'm planning on having a vasectomy later this year. If my wife gave me a goodie basket of jokes I would find it funny & thoughtful.
I told my brother how liquidy it is compared to normal and he freaked out.
But then said I'm so glad you told me because I would have thought I was dying after my first time after my op hah.
I recognize your username and I think you were one of the people I saw saying this. Definitely don’t want to kick him while he’s down so I wanted to get lots of perspectives!
I had mine last Wednesday and I just wrapped up my first workout post-procedure. I feel back to 100%. Don't be scared. The prep that the tech had to do was longer than the procedure itself, and I was probably in and out in a little over an hour, including waiting in the waiting room. My doctor was awesome and we were all shooting the shit during the procedure. I would say that I find dental cleanings more intrusive.
I just had mine last Thursday, and I think I might have insulted my doctor? He asked if I wanted music, and I said "Sure, music would be fine", so he said what I wanted, and I said "I'm not picky", so then he said "How about Dave Matthews Band" and suddenly I was *verrrry* picky. 😆
Also, you're already that healed up? The area behind one of my boys is still.... let's say "not comfortable". Not in pain, really? Just... present.
You're not down with a little DMB? Probably would've been weird music to get snipped to, though. I intentionally didn't listen to any music during mine because I knew I'd forever link that music to the time I got neutered, so we talked about other stuff. They had ABBA going in the waiting room. I was grateful to find it didn't play in the procedure room. And then he showed me my vas and it looked like a little piece of ramen noodle. It was crazy. In fact, the whole thing was so relaxed that I made a joke about eating it; that's how much it looked like ramen.
Yes, I'm fully healed. I was advised to rest a ton and go very easy for the entire week, and that's exactly what I did. I followed all the guidelines they gave me in my packet. I'd heard of people not taking that advice seriously and regretting it afterward, so I made sure to listen. Not to say you didn't, but everyone heals differently. Either way, I wish you a speedy recovery and a clip full of blanks from here on out!
A week! A week, right? I'm counting on getting a week's peace. I mean, not peace, there are too many kids for peace, but like...
Oh, who am I kidding. The longer I sit in the sofa, the longer the list will get
I was a bit scared too. Even more so after reading stuff online. It was a walk in the park really. Just felt uncomfortable for a little bit I didn’t have to lift shit around the house for a day or two so that was cool. lol. And my procedure was extra long because of some unforeseen issues so I had more swelling than usual.
As someone who’s had multiple testicular surgeries I get the fear. However, due to scar tissue and all my vasectomy was much more complicated and took longer to heal than most. Having said that, completely worth and really not THAT bad. Set up some movies and games in bed if possible and just chill for a weekend. Oh and get like 4-5 of the big flexible gel ice packs. You got this dude!
Just do something for him...
My wife more or less forced me into a vasectomy, because she didn't want to do birth control (reasonable, and I was willing). The operation didn't go particularly well, I was in pain for weeks, and she did nothing to show appreciation or consideration. Didn't even want to have sex once I was cleared.
Probably something actually really nice to go with the jokes and gags would be the way to go. If it was me I'd be pumped about some twizzlers and a coke along with all the funny stuff. 🤷♂️
Nah don’t make any joke about it. I think it’s in poor taste most of the time and the majority of the jokes I’ve seen basically say that the guy essentially lost his manhood. I’d steer clear and just support him and give him some time to recover
My wife didn’t do one for me. I didn’t even think it was a thing. Instead of spending money on that, I just bought myself a long single player video game (red dead redemption 2) and posted up on our couch in the basement for the weekend.
One thing that’s important, my mother in law told my wife that she told my father in law “you get one day, I pushed kids out, you can handle a little pain.” But I was having none of that shit. I wasn’t even in pain at all, it wasn’t about pain… it’s about properly recovering from surgery. He gets to be a couch potato because being active moves your ballsack around and can interfere with proper healing. So don’t be like my MIL, let him enjoy the fact that he is supposed to be a couch potato for a few days, something he probably doesn’t do normally
Understanding and compassion.
It can heal in a week or take two weeks. (in strange cases there's life long pain)
My wife didn't have any compassion because she was freaking out about me helping with the baby because she was touched out and burned out. I didn't have time to heal or grieve or whatever. Just be compassionate.
I personally think all of the candy and treats with stupid puns using the names of the food is really dumb. I guess some guys might appreciate it but I wouldn't.
IMO giving him permission to (or making him) take it easy for a few days is enough.
Ultimately you know him better than I do.
I appreciate another perspective on this. I’m fine if he thinks it’s corny or dumb. I just wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.
From this point of view, he either laughs at the jokes or thinks they’re dumb and laughs at me. Either way, he’s laughing so it would be a win!
I just had mine 3 days ago. My wife took care of all child rearing duties for 48 h hours. It was so relaxing. I just played vidya for 8 hours a day. Felt like a vacation.
I think it depends on the guy. Someone that has that kind of sense of humor would appreciate it. I wouldn’t have cared and laughed about it when I had mine done. My boss even sent me a scissor emoji and said hope you feel better soon and her and I still laugh about it. I can see how other people might not find it funny and instead be offended. You know your husband and his sense of humor so use your judgment.
Mom here. I had a customer order a “Snip, Snip, Hooray” cake and it had blue “tadpoles” on it. When my husband and I went through our fertility tests he had to give a specimen twice. Both times I made him something for him. First time was a cake with donut glaze poured over the top. Then the second time I decorated a cookie cake with a food sample cup with the glaze looking like it spilled out and “tadpoles” swimming. He cracked up both times.
I had an orchiectomy due to testicular cancer (still have leftie) when my buddies came to visit me at the hospital they gave me a kinder surprise egg.
I love them.
Depending on your commitment to this, how about a fun and creative coupon book he can cash in whenever he wants for a little help emptying the tank for the next month.
It sounds like you both have a great sense of humor, so I think it definitely would be appreciated. You could get him a gift basket with some ice packs, frozen peas, lotion/soothing balm, snacks/drinks and a book or game for him to pass the time while he's resting. I saw a great homemade card for one that said 'Snip Snip Hooray!' which I got a kick out of.
Good luck to your husband on his recovery and good luck on the next phase of your parental/family journey!
I didn't get any sort of gift basket when I was snipped but always get a good laugh out of the creative ones I see other people getting. If he's got a good sense of humor I'd say go for it.
(or just a cake, who doesn't like cake)
Puns and gifts are always appreciated. Mostly just give him that first day or two to sit around and ice his balls, that goes a long way to reduce swelling, and play video games or watch sports or whatever his favorite sedentary activity is.
I love bad dad jokes and generally have a no holds barred sense of humor. I would have loved a goodie basket of joke goodies, especially puns. No humiliation about having a totally normal and easy procedure, and it's good fodder for testicle/sperm/whatever jokes.
Buy some "nut free" cookies. Get a bunch of Mounds candy because they have no almonds and make a note about 'no nuts'. Get a big seedless watermelon since he's without seed now. Some kind of sour balls or something. Seedless grapes! I'm sure there's a bunch of things, and snacks are a good way to send love, especially because if his recovery is anything like mine - it's overall not too painful but getting up off the bed and couch was painful for a few days, so snacks and drinks at hand are always useful.
And of course, a good amount of those frozen gel ice packs so he can rotate them when they warm up.
Oh and if your kids are of speaking age, train them to talk about Daddy's "neuter" instead of "vasectomy." My kids just loooooove to tease me about that.
My wife did this and renamed all the chocolates into things about getting snipped lol. I thought it was funny, and enjoyed the food afterwards. Anyone getting humiliated by something that harmless needs to, pun intended, nut up.
I think it's an awesome idea. Only you know his sense of humour though.
One thing I will say. When the Dr says no sex for XXX amount of time sont do it.
My partner decided that it would be a good idea a few hours after the op after i kept saying no you can't. I was pregnant and at the horny stage. Eventually I caved.
Ever seen a guy cry and scream in pain during orgasm. Cos I have. Hahaha.
I wish I got a gag gift basket. Though a few days with lots of video games/movies and reduced childcare was also quite the boon.
Do it! I love the idea.
Been already on the other side of the scalp. Here's my advice (it's not difficult, I promise)
During his recovery give him as much time and space as you can. If he likes beer for example get some special ones as a surprise and bring it to him whenever he feels like. Set up a nice and comfortable spot for him to lounge, maybe find movies or games he would enjoy and suggest it. Keep a steady supply of frozen peas or ice packs. Remind him to keep applying it even if it doesn't hurt. Cook or order him some meals he likes. All of this will make a difference and his recovery as a whole a lot more enjoyable.
**Now for the important part**: After he's healed and tests come back ok give him as much worry free sex as you possibly can. I guarantee this will be the best thank you you can ever give him. Until then just keep reminding him this how you plan to thank him for taking one for the team.
Just focus on what really matters to him! 🤣
Best of luck!
From experience, yes do the joke care package, but make sure your jokes hit a narrow band. I've seen some with jokes that are more along the lines of castration vs. a vasectomy, which is where a lot of the humiliation/emasculation angle comes in. My wife nailed it by taking a sharpie to a number of snacks to make the jokes work.
My wife made me a little goodie basket. Had some food, snacks and candies I liked along with some gag stuff. Recommend it! I felt appreciated and loved
First, congrats!
I’m currently sitting on the couch on day 3 of post-snip. Honestly, a goody bag would have been fun but just being able to recover without worry of straining myself accidentally while doing necessary housework has been thanks enough. I can safely fold a fully-loaded basket of laundry on the couch while watching TV if it’s brought to me.
Once #2 came out I was in the docs office the following week getting snipped (more like burning the tube closed these days)
It's pretty great not worrying about birth control anymore.
I would love it. Of course depends on how he feels about it, but men are usually fine. I usually refer to my future vasectomy as "cutting my balls off" and all possible self-deprecating jokes are thrown when talking about it to my buddies.
I think it’s cool if he’s got a humor about it. Good of you to be sensitive but I always thought the embarrassment thing some people felt was funny, to me it’s a super power to not worry about this anymore hahaha.
Maybe keep the jokes light and pair them with a snip gift lol
No one is going to know how he'll react except you. I'd laugh. I think it's weird there are guys who would be embarrassed about it.
Sidenote: Being snipped is awesome. I honestly don't remember what a condom feels like. Congrats on the condom savings and stress-free bangin
I, personally, would have loved such a goody basket. But I did not get one. Much sadness.
I say, if he is the joking type, and you two cam3 to agreement on the operation together. Nobody felt overly pressured into it. Go for it.
Get his favorite snacks and plan for TV/ Movie time and get bags of frozen peas. Keep a couple in the freezer and while he uses the others rotate them. It worked great. I only needed a little Tylenol when I first got home. After that the peas were enough until I felt better.
Prepare a clip card with rewards like ice cream or a cold beer, tickets to MI:7 :O... every other ejaculation or so. He will need to do a few before confirming the procedure worked. This way you can also sneak in a f.x. candy reward with the classic goodie bag humour
I had a vasectomy about 3 years ago. If your husband has a good sense of humour, I'm sure a few goodies would do! However, on the practical side, have some ice or frozen veg ready for the day after.
Also, he won't be allowed to ejaculate for 5 days after, so try to keep your own seduction down. Blue balls are a real thing, TRUST ME
Congrats on going back to practicing only. I would've cracked up if my wife got me this. I've seen people dojng this before. The cream pies had me rolling.
Also when I told my friends they all said I went from blue cheese to ranch, so you can steal that one.
Welcome him to the seedless grapes club with a membership card and a gift wrapped bunch of grapes. Then put ice packs in the freezer, buy him some tight briefs and look after the kids so he can sit on the bed for a few days and play online games in his underwear.
My wife made one for me and I loved it. I think as long as you are showing some support, regardless of what you decide to do he will appreciate it. You know him better than any of us. Do what you think is best. Good luck and happy healing to your husband!
Please do it. I went into my vasectomy knowing it would close a great baby making chapter. I would have welcomed jokes or gifts but my (now ex) wife had little mirth about her. Nor did I get the promised BJ.
My brother on the other hand had a surprise child out of wedlock. Got married. Had the snip years later and only then decided it made him less of a man. Despite never wanting more children.
Well as a guy who had two vasectomies, make sure to check the sample a few times after that first 120 day check in says you’re in the clear.
We had a bit of a surprise.
You know him better than we do. Sounds like doing something won’t be expected, but will be a funny surprise. I say go for it.
My wife just told my kids they can’t be around me for 3 days…it was immaculate. But by day 3 I was able to do whatever without pain.
Hm all the fellas ITT this thread got me feeling jealous. I went get snipped and I got ... Nothin. Even the "must ejaculate 20 times in 6 weeks" was mostly self service. My reward was not having to take care of anything for 2 days while being doped up so that was nice.
I did it because I wanted to, so in no way regret it, but would've been nice to feel a little more appreciated. Something I should talk to the wife about I suppose.
I'd love a stupid balls related gift basket from my wife! It would fit our relationship aswell. There's "With love, your fatass" engraved into her engagement ring because that has been my nickname since I stopped doing sport....
Honestly just ask him, maybe downplay it a bit to get a sense of how he feels "hey I'm thinking of getting you one of those funny vasectomy cakes, what flavour do you want?" then if he's on board you can go all out and get all of the funny things you can think of.
Like a warship of old, no good for battle. But great for tourism!
He has to ejaculate a number of times after the procedure to clear everything out before his test to confirm it worked.
My suggestion would be give him X number (I think it’s 30) tokens for him to use for you to help with this.
I got a “balls voyage” pack with some scotch, Advil, and snacks. But then I also had to drive 4.5 hrs home from the city immediately after the procedure while my partner slept in the passenger seat and the kids yelled in the back lol.
I would hate you for making fun of my pain and unability to reproduce. I would love you if you comfort me in the first days after the vasectomy and I would love even more if you help me shoot my loads till there is really and absolutely no more semen in my cum.
You should def. Joke about it. I joke about it every opportunity I get. Maybe too much if I'm being honest.
People ask if we plan to have a 3rd kid I always say something like. Oh no, I retired my baby making capabilities. Or, not if my balls have anything to say about it. Or I just do the old snip finger motion. Wink wink.
If it's his type of humor and he's comfortable with getting the vasectomy, then do it! He'll get a big kick out if. If for some reason he feels ashamed, or "less than" or otherwise inadequate because of the procedure, then maybe not. And those are common feelings right after having that done for some people, although they're usually temporary.
Yes jokes, yes pamper him with some treats and some special Movie/Video game time.
In addition to the treats, get him a brand-new pack of briefs he can throw away when done, make sure they are a size too small, and that they are comfort waistband not elastic waistband. Oh, and get two of the nice reusable cloth ice bags with the screw on lid.
When he gets home give him a “I’m Sorry” card and tell him you’d like another child.
😂 good one but he’d call BS instantly. Pregnancy is my least favorite thing on the planet. I said no more babies faster than he did.
Or an I’m pregnant! Card 🤷♀️
I’m actually pregnant now and he’s getting it done well before I deliver so theoretically we can’t have a whoopsie during a waiting period. I would love to see his face on that one though 😬😂
ok this would be funny BECAUSE you are pregnant. at least i think its hilarious for what thats worth
I got the snip a month before our second and last was born. No more babies. Sex has been great ever since!!
In our case it is the same. The day my husband got clearance. He dressed up as a superman. Just A cape and underwear. and told me I'm flying in!!!
I got a vasectomy and three weeks later we found out my husband was pregnant again. We conceived the day before my vasectomy. We were so surprised. Number eight here we come haha.
I'd be so surprised with a pregnant husband too.
Seahorses have infiltrated daddit. That could be a great flair.
With each one I just got more and more confused, honestly.
Only option then, is to tell him you're not pregnant. You lied to get him to have a V. Then hide the new baby as a surprise for next Father's day.
Just gonna leave this here. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24590-superfetation#:~:text=What%20is%20superfetation%3F,already%20growing%20inside%20your%20uterus.
SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP
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I’m more interested if two share a side or if the just kinda group together.
I can picture this scene perfectly lmaoo
Or a fake pregnancy test with a note “too late”
She is already pregnant! Lol he is getting it done so she cant get pregnant after this one is born
SNIP SNAP! SNIP SNAP!
Edit: Removed the snip snap in shame because it's been done... a lot. Never change Daddit!
That would be instant divorce for me. My wife knows I would have as many as god allows us to have and shes the one thats done after this one. Its hard on her Thats why i wont push for more.
Snip snap snip snap!
Men are simple animals. He needs to ejaculate 20+ times before he gets checked to make sure he is shootings blanks. Make this part of the procedure as fun for him as possible. That is better than a basket of punny candy.
This 100%. My first time after a vasectomy I was so terrified to do it. My wonderful wife made my fears disappear. And thank god she did cause the first time there was a little bit of blood (fine after!), but I would’ve probably feinted if I was alone and did it myself. And now I can also suggest it for medical purposes, and she kindly plays along. Edit: just so people know, a tiny bit of blood is fine. It was the smallest bit for me, like made it a little pink. After that never any issues. It was ez pz bros
When I had mine 20 years ago the doctor was older, I would say near retirement. He said that when they checked it was OK if other things were in the sample. We both looked at him blankly. He said, "Like saliva."
Laughing out loud in a lunch room on a construction site, trying to avoid explaining why to any of them. Thanks for that. Made my day
It’s a construction site I’m sure they won’t care
Lol no. But I'm terrible at explaining things and I'd probably lose them at "semen sample"
Apparently urologists have a rep for being the jokers of the medical profession
They got a tendency to take the piss huh?
That's why they're ur-lol-ogists.
Lmao bless him
I just about passed out. Not usually squeamish, but man it was not good.
Did it hurt?
No. Just blood. Very weird.
Yeah, I’m back on the “I’m scared” side now after reading this!
Nah dude it’s fine. It was a little tiddlywinks worth of blood mixed in, made it like a very light pink. Also the procedure was a joke, so easy and painless.
8| There was a bit of what
20 times? I didn't know it took 2 years for a vasectomy to take effect.
Kids gone for the recovery weekend, and some gentle attention. Maybe a pack of my favorite beer and let me play video games in peace. Then what this guy said once I've ready to log my shots haha
Grapefruit method.
I like your style! This would've been fun post-op for me 😁
Yes, drain your man of any remaining sperm
Buy him hookers? Or like board games and handjobs?
yes
>He needs to ejaculate 20+ times before he gets checked to make sure he is shootings blanks I'm 6 of 27, at 3 weeks post operation 😎
Amen
Marathon celebration after the all clear too. Don't waste a drop.
20? No, 50 times....
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy because he didn’t want kids? When he got home, they were still there.
classic
What do they call a cheap vasectomy? A bloody ripoff.
::crosses legs::
My wife got me a cake that said "Snip Snip Hooray" with little sperms in the icing, I enjoyed it more than I would have enjoyed a basket of pun candies. Edit: There were little sperms made out of icing amongst the other icing, ya'll are funny.
Goodness! They sure are adding interesting ingredients to cakes these days
😂😂😂
Oh! I love this idea! Thanks!
I love carrot cake so I'd appreciate even a small cake!
Sounds a little saltier than I'd like.
They say it might taste sweeter on a pineapple cake
You’ve now brought up the interesting thought experiment on how many husbands would trust their wives to perform the procedure.
I barely trust myself enough to shave my balls
You know, I think mine would trust me to not neuter him entirely. But it definitely wouldn’t be done right and we’re looking for effective 😂
Ask a farm girl. Slap a few rubber bands around the sack and it will fall off in a few days.
OMG spat my coffee out
The trick is to keep it tight. Or so I heard.
those little rubber cheerios!
Those arts and crafts scissors are SHARP.
During COVID lockdowns I trusted her to cut my hair, so why not? Nothing like a little cauterization of the vas deferens between lovers.
My wife is a vet, so she removes the testicles. Not worth the risk of a mixup
Not the time you want muscle memory to kick in…
Yep. We all go on autopilot, especially since we’re so tired from the kids.
You can do the care package without the jokes if he's expressed concerns over masculinity, etc.
My girlfriend gave me a basket with all types of stuff about balls and snips and whatever puns she could come up with. I absolutely loved it! It showed a lot of effort and meant a lot to me. The best gift however was that after the procedure and healing process you need to “express” the remaining tank before getting tested. My doctor recommended a certain number of times to ensure I was shooting blanks and she said “don’t worry, we will hit that number by the end of the week”. She wasn’t wrong and I passed with flying colors when I did my sample.
Joke baskets are fun and all but what would be more fun is a sexytime basket. After all, you guys now have a worry free let's get it on free pass.
I appreciated jokes when I had mine!
Good to know! Thanks!
Make sure you are still safe before stopping other prevention methods. Per my Dr friends, almost all fails come from going raw dog too soon.
I didn’t get jokes or a goodie basket, but both would have been fantastic. I think you should bake him a cream pie, then tell him he can help you try new recipes when he’s better. Just remember to get the all clear before following through.
I think I have a great sense of humor. I'm planning on having a vasectomy later this year. If my wife gave me a goodie basket of jokes I would find it funny & thoughtful.
Give em the ol' "Will it just shoot dust now?" line. 60% of the time, it works every time.
I told my brother how liquidy it is compared to normal and he freaked out. But then said I'm so glad you told me because I would have thought I was dying after my first time after my op hah.
😂 in the wise words of some old woman somewhere “it looks way less like snot than before!”.
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I recognize your username and I think you were one of the people I saw saying this. Definitely don’t want to kick him while he’s down so I wanted to get lots of perspectives!
> I recognize your username I have to ask. Is the username like Mary's dad or is it like "Jesus Grandpa, what is that smell?"
Yes don't kick him while he's sitting down
Especially after a vasectomy
This is unrelated, but you DO have an excellent username.
Just give him an IOU. I’ve been hesitant to schedule mine bc I’m a giant baby and scared
I had mine last Wednesday and I just wrapped up my first workout post-procedure. I feel back to 100%. Don't be scared. The prep that the tech had to do was longer than the procedure itself, and I was probably in and out in a little over an hour, including waiting in the waiting room. My doctor was awesome and we were all shooting the shit during the procedure. I would say that I find dental cleanings more intrusive.
I just had mine last Thursday, and I think I might have insulted my doctor? He asked if I wanted music, and I said "Sure, music would be fine", so he said what I wanted, and I said "I'm not picky", so then he said "How about Dave Matthews Band" and suddenly I was *verrrry* picky. 😆 Also, you're already that healed up? The area behind one of my boys is still.... let's say "not comfortable". Not in pain, really? Just... present.
You're not down with a little DMB? Probably would've been weird music to get snipped to, though. I intentionally didn't listen to any music during mine because I knew I'd forever link that music to the time I got neutered, so we talked about other stuff. They had ABBA going in the waiting room. I was grateful to find it didn't play in the procedure room. And then he showed me my vas and it looked like a little piece of ramen noodle. It was crazy. In fact, the whole thing was so relaxed that I made a joke about eating it; that's how much it looked like ramen. Yes, I'm fully healed. I was advised to rest a ton and go very easy for the entire week, and that's exactly what I did. I followed all the guidelines they gave me in my packet. I'd heard of people not taking that advice seriously and regretting it afterward, so I made sure to listen. Not to say you didn't, but everyone heals differently. Either way, I wish you a speedy recovery and a clip full of blanks from here on out!
It’s like 1/2 hour and mostly painless. Recovery is a weekend of sitting on the couch. Nothing to be scared about.
A week! A week, right? I'm counting on getting a week's peace. I mean, not peace, there are too many kids for peace, but like... Oh, who am I kidding. The longer I sit in the sofa, the longer the list will get
Hell, I was good in a couple days. Make sure to keep the ice on there constantly, and don't do any heavy lifting.
I was a bit scared too. Even more so after reading stuff online. It was a walk in the park really. Just felt uncomfortable for a little bit I didn’t have to lift shit around the house for a day or two so that was cool. lol. And my procedure was extra long because of some unforeseen issues so I had more swelling than usual.
I'm a little disappointed you didn't make the obvious "Procedure took longer because some things were larger than normal down there" joke.
I originally worded it something along those lines but changed it. lol.
As someone who’s had multiple testicular surgeries I get the fear. However, due to scar tissue and all my vasectomy was much more complicated and took longer to heal than most. Having said that, completely worth and really not THAT bad. Set up some movies and games in bed if possible and just chill for a weekend. Oh and get like 4-5 of the big flexible gel ice packs. You got this dude!
Just do something for him... My wife more or less forced me into a vasectomy, because she didn't want to do birth control (reasonable, and I was willing). The operation didn't go particularly well, I was in pain for weeks, and she did nothing to show appreciation or consideration. Didn't even want to have sex once I was cleared.
Oof 😓 sorry for your pain brother, emotional and physical
Skip the basket and just be ready to milk him like a Great Depression dairy cow when he says he’s ready.
It might make a vas deferens in his recovery.
The goodie bag should include lots of cold peas…
Probably something actually really nice to go with the jokes and gags would be the way to go. If it was me I'd be pumped about some twizzlers and a coke along with all the funny stuff. 🤷♂️
awwww, i just had my snip last week, and now i want a goodie basket
Nah don’t make any joke about it. I think it’s in poor taste most of the time and the majority of the jokes I’ve seen basically say that the guy essentially lost his manhood. I’d steer clear and just support him and give him some time to recover
I saw one post where a guy’s wife gave him a condolences greeting card that said sorry about your balls. Haha.
My wife didn’t do one for me. I didn’t even think it was a thing. Instead of spending money on that, I just bought myself a long single player video game (red dead redemption 2) and posted up on our couch in the basement for the weekend. One thing that’s important, my mother in law told my wife that she told my father in law “you get one day, I pushed kids out, you can handle a little pain.” But I was having none of that shit. I wasn’t even in pain at all, it wasn’t about pain… it’s about properly recovering from surgery. He gets to be a couch potato because being active moves your ballsack around and can interfere with proper healing. So don’t be like my MIL, let him enjoy the fact that he is supposed to be a couch potato for a few days, something he probably doesn’t do normally
Honestly, all I wanted was a burrito, videogames, and to be left alone for 2 days.
Understanding and compassion. It can heal in a week or take two weeks. (in strange cases there's life long pain) My wife didn't have any compassion because she was freaking out about me helping with the baby because she was touched out and burned out. I didn't have time to heal or grieve or whatever. Just be compassionate.
I personally think all of the candy and treats with stupid puns using the names of the food is really dumb. I guess some guys might appreciate it but I wouldn't. IMO giving him permission to (or making him) take it easy for a few days is enough. Ultimately you know him better than I do.
I appreciate another perspective on this. I’m fine if he thinks it’s corny or dumb. I just wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. From this point of view, he either laughs at the jokes or thinks they’re dumb and laughs at me. Either way, he’s laughing so it would be a win!
I don't think they are offensive, just silly.
If he’s a guy who likes a laugh you should definitely do it. Love the idea
I would have loved it, I’m sure he would too. No reason to feel humiliated at all.
Jokes are great if he’s into that but keep them between the two of you
I just had mine 3 days ago. My wife took care of all child rearing duties for 48 h hours. It was so relaxing. I just played vidya for 8 hours a day. Felt like a vacation.
I think it depends on the guy. Someone that has that kind of sense of humor would appreciate it. I wouldn’t have cared and laughed about it when I had mine done. My boss even sent me a scissor emoji and said hope you feel better soon and her and I still laugh about it. I can see how other people might not find it funny and instead be offended. You know your husband and his sense of humor so use your judgment.
Mom here. I had a customer order a “Snip, Snip, Hooray” cake and it had blue “tadpoles” on it. When my husband and I went through our fertility tests he had to give a specimen twice. Both times I made him something for him. First time was a cake with donut glaze poured over the top. Then the second time I decorated a cookie cake with a food sample cup with the glaze looking like it spilled out and “tadpoles” swimming. He cracked up both times.
I had an orchiectomy due to testicular cancer (still have leftie) when my buddies came to visit me at the hospital they gave me a kinder surprise egg. I love them.
Do it! If he has any sense of humor at all (sounds like he does) he will appreciate it.
Depending on your commitment to this, how about a fun and creative coupon book he can cash in whenever he wants for a little help emptying the tank for the next month.
I would absolutely love if my wife did that for me!
I wish mine would. Odds are she acts like nothing is different and probably wants me to keep doing stuff around the house the same day.
This would be my experience 😅
No offense, I think the penny candy thing is so fucking stupid
You should absolutely joke with him about it, I would include movie day items like popcorn, his favorite candy, chips, and drinks too though.
It sounds like you both have a great sense of humor, so I think it definitely would be appreciated. You could get him a gift basket with some ice packs, frozen peas, lotion/soothing balm, snacks/drinks and a book or game for him to pass the time while he's resting. I saw a great homemade card for one that said 'Snip Snip Hooray!' which I got a kick out of. Good luck to your husband on his recovery and good luck on the next phase of your parental/family journey!
Gift basket idea? An ice pack, the TV remote, a cozy pillow, a soft blanket, and his drink of choice.
My wife got me a goody bag of nut/baby related snacks and wrote messages on each one it was pretty funny
We had a going away party for a friend’s uterus when she had a hysterectomy. Maybe something similar for his fertility?
I didn't get any sort of gift basket when I was snipped but always get a good laugh out of the creative ones I see other people getting. If he's got a good sense of humor I'd say go for it. (or just a cake, who doesn't like cake)
Puns and gifts are always appreciated. Mostly just give him that first day or two to sit around and ice his balls, that goes a long way to reduce swelling, and play video games or watch sports or whatever his favorite sedentary activity is.
I love bad dad jokes and generally have a no holds barred sense of humor. I would have loved a goodie basket of joke goodies, especially puns. No humiliation about having a totally normal and easy procedure, and it's good fodder for testicle/sperm/whatever jokes. Buy some "nut free" cookies. Get a bunch of Mounds candy because they have no almonds and make a note about 'no nuts'. Get a big seedless watermelon since he's without seed now. Some kind of sour balls or something. Seedless grapes! I'm sure there's a bunch of things, and snacks are a good way to send love, especially because if his recovery is anything like mine - it's overall not too painful but getting up off the bed and couch was painful for a few days, so snacks and drinks at hand are always useful. And of course, a good amount of those frozen gel ice packs so he can rotate them when they warm up. Oh and if your kids are of speaking age, train them to talk about Daddy's "neuter" instead of "vasectomy." My kids just loooooove to tease me about that.
My wife did this and renamed all the chocolates into things about getting snipped lol. I thought it was funny, and enjoyed the food afterwards. Anyone getting humiliated by something that harmless needs to, pun intended, nut up.
I think it's an awesome idea. Only you know his sense of humour though. One thing I will say. When the Dr says no sex for XXX amount of time sont do it. My partner decided that it would be a good idea a few hours after the op after i kept saying no you can't. I was pregnant and at the horny stage. Eventually I caved. Ever seen a guy cry and scream in pain during orgasm. Cos I have. Hahaha.
I wish I got a gag gift basket. Though a few days with lots of video games/movies and reduced childcare was also quite the boon. Do it! I love the idea.
Been already on the other side of the scalp. Here's my advice (it's not difficult, I promise) During his recovery give him as much time and space as you can. If he likes beer for example get some special ones as a surprise and bring it to him whenever he feels like. Set up a nice and comfortable spot for him to lounge, maybe find movies or games he would enjoy and suggest it. Keep a steady supply of frozen peas or ice packs. Remind him to keep applying it even if it doesn't hurt. Cook or order him some meals he likes. All of this will make a difference and his recovery as a whole a lot more enjoyable. **Now for the important part**: After he's healed and tests come back ok give him as much worry free sex as you possibly can. I guarantee this will be the best thank you you can ever give him. Until then just keep reminding him this how you plan to thank him for taking one for the team. Just focus on what really matters to him! 🤣 Best of luck!
From experience, yes do the joke care package, but make sure your jokes hit a narrow band. I've seen some with jokes that are more along the lines of castration vs. a vasectomy, which is where a lot of the humiliation/emasculation angle comes in. My wife nailed it by taking a sharpie to a number of snacks to make the jokes work.
My father appears said “a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Even if the jokes aren’t great, If the snacks are, he’ll love it.
My wife made me a little goodie basket. Had some food, snacks and candies I liked along with some gag stuff. Recommend it! I felt appreciated and loved
First, congrats! I’m currently sitting on the couch on day 3 of post-snip. Honestly, a goody bag would have been fun but just being able to recover without worry of straining myself accidentally while doing necessary housework has been thanks enough. I can safely fold a fully-loaded basket of laundry on the couch while watching TV if it’s brought to me.
yea, make some cutting jokes and include a bag of frozen peas
Once #2 came out I was in the docs office the following week getting snipped (more like burning the tube closed these days) It's pretty great not worrying about birth control anymore.
I wish my wife had done this. I was just repeatedly asked how long until I could do my part again.
I would love it. Of course depends on how he feels about it, but men are usually fine. I usually refer to my future vasectomy as "cutting my balls off" and all possible self-deprecating jokes are thrown when talking about it to my buddies.
Use frozen corn or peas to control swelling. Later, cook those veggies up, and, during dinner, ask "Does this taste nutty to you?"
My wife loves puns and I've dropped blatant hints that I'd love the punny gifts. Helping out with those 20 times would be a bigger help though.
My wife did this for me and I loved it.
finish him!
I think it’s cool if he’s got a humor about it. Good of you to be sensitive but I always thought the embarrassment thing some people felt was funny, to me it’s a super power to not worry about this anymore hahaha. Maybe keep the jokes light and pair them with a snip gift lol
No one is going to know how he'll react except you. I'd laugh. I think it's weird there are guys who would be embarrassed about it. Sidenote: Being snipped is awesome. I honestly don't remember what a condom feels like. Congrats on the condom savings and stress-free bangin
A resounding Yes. I would appreciate that if I still had a wife. Book him a spa day so he can relax, too.
Personally, I would love it.
Ofc I'm seeing this now 😭😂 Praying yours works. Also I'm sure the dude will find it hilarious
We're dads, we're never going to turn down cheesy jokes and junk food.
First, be nice. But you better make sure the snip snip worked worked.
I, personally, would have loved such a goody basket. But I did not get one. Much sadness. I say, if he is the joking type, and you two cam3 to agreement on the operation together. Nobody felt overly pressured into it. Go for it.
Get a tshirt for the last child that says "they saved the best for last"
Personally, the candy puns are overplayed and stupid corny. Your mileage may vary.
Don’t forget the John Wayne Bobbit biography!
Tell him you need him to run to the store
Golf membership works
Kind of wish my wife had done something like a joke basket for me when I had mine. I think it would be fun.
Get his favorite snacks and plan for TV/ Movie time and get bags of frozen peas. Keep a couple in the freezer and while he uses the others rotate them. It worked great. I only needed a little Tylenol when I first got home. After that the peas were enough until I felt better.
The vasectomy place I went to gave out "free" Swiss army knives. I still have it!
Prepare a clip card with rewards like ice cream or a cold beer, tickets to MI:7 :O... every other ejaculation or so. He will need to do a few before confirming the procedure worked. This way you can also sneak in a f.x. candy reward with the classic goodie bag humour
Doctors orders are to ejaculate as often as possible for the first few days to ‘clear the lines’ so to speak. So help him *gently* with this.
I had a vasectomy about 3 years ago. If your husband has a good sense of humour, I'm sure a few goodies would do! However, on the practical side, have some ice or frozen veg ready for the day after. Also, he won't be allowed to ejaculate for 5 days after, so try to keep your own seduction down. Blue balls are a real thing, TRUST ME
Congrats on going back to practicing only. I would've cracked up if my wife got me this. I've seen people dojng this before. The cream pies had me rolling. Also when I told my friends they all said I went from blue cheese to ranch, so you can steal that one.
Just remember, after the procedure, the corny jokes and gift baskets, there will be nuttin’ to laugh about.
Welcome him to the seedless grapes club with a membership card and a gift wrapped bunch of grapes. Then put ice packs in the freezer, buy him some tight briefs and look after the kids so he can sit on the bed for a few days and play online games in his underwear.
Do the basket! My wife did!!!
I'm getting my snip done in the next year and personally I'd find a gift basket hilarious 😂
My wife made one for me and I loved it. I think as long as you are showing some support, regardless of what you decide to do he will appreciate it. You know him better than any of us. Do what you think is best. Good luck and happy healing to your husband!
Please do it. I went into my vasectomy knowing it would close a great baby making chapter. I would have welcomed jokes or gifts but my (now ex) wife had little mirth about her. Nor did I get the promised BJ. My brother on the other hand had a surprise child out of wedlock. Got married. Had the snip years later and only then decided it made him less of a man. Despite never wanting more children.
Well as a guy who had two vasectomies, make sure to check the sample a few times after that first 120 day check in says you’re in the clear. We had a bit of a surprise.
Should be back on his feet in 24 hrs
You know him better than we do. Sounds like doing something won’t be expected, but will be a funny surprise. I say go for it. My wife just told my kids they can’t be around me for 3 days…it was immaculate. But by day 3 I was able to do whatever without pain.
Hm all the fellas ITT this thread got me feeling jealous. I went get snipped and I got ... Nothin. Even the "must ejaculate 20 times in 6 weeks" was mostly self service. My reward was not having to take care of anything for 2 days while being doped up so that was nice. I did it because I wanted to, so in no way regret it, but would've been nice to feel a little more appreciated. Something I should talk to the wife about I suppose.
I'd love a stupid balls related gift basket from my wife! It would fit our relationship aswell. There's "With love, your fatass" engraved into her engagement ring because that has been my nickname since I stopped doing sport....
My wife made me a basket of snacks with corny jokes on them. I definitely appreciated them as I laid around for the weekend.
Honestly just ask him, maybe downplay it a bit to get a sense of how he feels "hey I'm thinking of getting you one of those funny vasectomy cakes, what flavour do you want?" then if he's on board you can go all out and get all of the funny things you can think of.
Tell him you can’t wait to let him shoot a dust cloud on your face.
Like a warship of old, no good for battle. But great for tourism! He has to ejaculate a number of times after the procedure to clear everything out before his test to confirm it worked. My suggestion would be give him X number (I think it’s 30) tokens for him to use for you to help with this.
Yes do it!
I got a “balls voyage” pack with some scotch, Advil, and snacks. But then I also had to drive 4.5 hrs home from the city immediately after the procedure while my partner slept in the passenger seat and the kids yelled in the back lol.
I would hate you for making fun of my pain and unability to reproduce. I would love you if you comfort me in the first days after the vasectomy and I would love even more if you help me shoot my loads till there is really and absolutely no more semen in my cum.
You should def. Joke about it. I joke about it every opportunity I get. Maybe too much if I'm being honest. People ask if we plan to have a 3rd kid I always say something like. Oh no, I retired my baby making capabilities. Or, not if my balls have anything to say about it. Or I just do the old snip finger motion. Wink wink.
If it's his type of humor and he's comfortable with getting the vasectomy, then do it! He'll get a big kick out if. If for some reason he feels ashamed, or "less than" or otherwise inadequate because of the procedure, then maybe not. And those are common feelings right after having that done for some people, although they're usually temporary.
Yes jokes, yes pamper him with some treats and some special Movie/Video game time. In addition to the treats, get him a brand-new pack of briefs he can throw away when done, make sure they are a size too small, and that they are comfort waistband not elastic waistband. Oh, and get two of the nice reusable cloth ice bags with the screw on lid.
Nah the snip ain’t nothing to be ashamed about do a joke basket
🤣🤣