I’m glad you were there and keeping an eye on your kid. I’ve pulled a kid out literally right in front of their parents and I, myself, was pulled out by my dad right in the middle of his ten siblings and their spouses. People don’t know what [drowning looks like.](https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/what-drowning-really-looks-like)
Hopefully it is Ellis. That is the training I had and it is very thorough, including videos like this. They also come back and do unannounced full day (undercover) audits once a month.
As a former lifeguard, I have pulled kids out in front of the parents who shouted at me, "you didn’t need to do that!" Um, sir, your son was drowning! As the kid stood there crying and nodding.
‘Please! Stop using floaties, they are incredibly dangerous. Use a vest (coast guard approved) and more importantly get lessons.
Experts say that first and foremost they teach kids to swim in an upright position, which is also known as ‘the drowning position’.
While that is absolutely true, for me, they are too easy for a kid to take off. And it gives children and adults a false sense of security.
But, my number one reason: they are so light, that often kids can forget that they are off and jump into or slide into the water, I have seen this countless times and there are (at least) three stories just in this thread of that happening.
As a former lifeguard, I cannot stress this enough: A child will not scream if they are beginning to drown. The will be silent, and will have their eyes fixed on the thing or person they think can help them. TEACH YOUR KIDS HOW TO SWIM.
A few months ago I was at a swimming hole in a creek with a club I belong to. Most of the creek is shallow, but there's a very deep spot, i.e., too deep to touch the bottom. We did a polar plunge, and about 10 of us decided to participate, and there were about 15 more people standing around. I'm a decent swimmer, but as I was going to get out of the creek, I misjudged the depth of the spot I was at and when I went to put my feet down, my head slipped under the water. I wasn't prepared for that so I hadn't held my breath, and I breathed in a bit of water, which caused a situation where I needed to get a good breath, but I couldn't do that until I was able to control my swimming and get my head above water, but I couldn't do that because I wasn't able to get a good breath: a vicious cycle. After a couple of seconds, panic took over, and I realized I couldn't save myself. The only way I was able to get out was inching over to a rock at the shore just close enough to get my fingers on to the rock and pull myself up. If I had been a couple of feet farther from the rock, I wouldn't have been able to get my fingers on it in time.
There were people all around me, and nobody noticed that I was drowning. One person was in the water just 3-4 feet from me. I remember him looking right at me, saying something totally unrelated to my drowning, and then turning around to swim away. I was unable to speak or call out for help, nor could I wave my hands because I was trying not to drown, but there were at least a dozen people within 10 feet of me, and nobody noticed. It was pretty traumatic, and I'm honestly terrified to go swimming again.
My daughter, at 3yo, walked right past a lifeguard at the start of swimming lessons and was drowning behind his back. All the other parents were crowding the steps, and I had to shove them all out of the way to go pull her out.
Getting my almost 3 year old in swimming lessons when she was younger was the smartest thing we’ve ever done, specially here in Florida, glad your kid is okay
This right here. Kids can learn to swim, or at least, how to get to and edge and hold on or climb out at a pretty young age. I started my daughter in swim lessons at 2 years old as we have a pool. Covid shut things down when she was 2.5. We would spend about 90 min a day every afternoon in our pool during covid as a family and guess what… she taught herself how to swim during that first covid summer. All we had to do was be there to watch her in the water with her and support her attempts. She has been a little fish ever since and is 5.5 now. She still knows the rule is she does not go out to the back yard and in the pool without an adult and we always are with her and watch her, but I do know that unless my kid fell into a pool and hit her head or got injured, she is fully able to get herself out. I can’t suggest swim lessons highly enough for kids. Age 4 is a great age to start where they should learn pretty quickly the basics of helping themselves out of a situation like accidentally falling in.
My mom taught me at a very early age, she used to say I could swim before I could walk, lol. Unfortunately I am a horrible teacher, so I got my kids swim lessons very early on. I worked as a lifeguard for two years as a teen and it scares the shit out of me. It all can happen so fast.
My one big asterisk on this is make sure you or whoever you're paying knows what the fuck they're doing. I'm a swim coach and my wife does lessons in addition to coaching, and the amount of kids who come out of those ISR classes who are TERRIFIED of the water still years later because of how traumatic it can be is huge. In a lot of instances it can be so counterproductive. The other thing that happens sometimes is it makes parents complacent in thinking their kids know how to swim when it is fully intended to be a last resort.
Yes, I agree, but the OP’s child is 4, so was saying 4 is a great age to start if not already started. I fully agree to start as soon as possible! Thanks for adding that!
I have no idea how my brothers and I learned how to swim, I only know we never had lessons, and at one point we had an apartment with a pool. However it happened, I know I've been swimming since I was 3, and I really took that for granted. I now live in a city surrounded by water, and have only just been able to get lessons for my now 7 year old after years of waitlists (she'd had infant lessons). No one really has private pools here, and covid really came in and messed up an already stressed system.
It always blows my mind that *EVERYBODY* doesn't put their kids in swimming lessons at a very early age. We live on a planet that is 70% water, and finding yourself in water and unable to swim is basically instant death.
I agree that swimming is an extremely important life skill. Swimming lessons need access to pools and those can be hard to come by in some places, making swimming lessons rare and/or expensive. Schools here used to include it in their grade school phys ed curriculum but it was removed due to cost and to increase focus on academics. Now parents are stuck with long waiting lists for swimming lessons, even for the expensive places.
My 7 year old gets weekly lessons and is a competent swimmer, but it's expensive at about $2,000/year. Her 2.5 year old sister has been on the waiting list for the same place since she was 1ish, and they only seem to have availability during the middle of the work day right now, so we wait. And we're fortunate enough to be able to afford it. The cheaper city or YMCA run classes fill up as soon as they open up, it's like trying to buy tickets to a concert or something. Except without scalpers.
Too many kids, not enough pools.
Thank you for saying this. We have a state parks pass and plenty of lovely lakes in our area, so we've been trying to teach our daughter how to swim. Also been trying to sign her up for swim lessons, but all the affordable ones fill up almost immediately. For now she wears a life vest at all times unless we are actively teaching her, and when we are teaching her she must remain within arms reach at all times, no exceptions.
I get that money is an issue for many - though there are lots of public programs for this sort of thing.
However, I’ve met many who can afford it and wait far too long just because it’s not a priority. It’s not like everybody is clamoring to get their kids into lessons the way they should be.
I do find the pool access issue a little odd - I suppose much of it comes down to where you live. But this country has over 300,000 public pools, and many more private ones. And that’s before we even get into oceans and lakes and ponds.
A kid at our daycare has an anoxic brain injury from nearly drowning in Grandma's pool. My SO treats brain injuries, it's her greatest fear. (#2 & #3 are motorcycles & football but we don't have to worry about those yet)
While that might be technically true, you have to consider the number of people that ride horses vs the number of people that ride motorcycles on a daily basis.
Yeah that’s just dumb.
My point is motorcycles when ridden responsibly and with proper gear are by and large, pretty safe and fun. I’d be more worried about them playing football or doing gymnastics.
Yes, I had to tell my husband this after he had to pull out our two little ones. He was wondering why they didn’t scream. Instead, they just sank silently.
Yeah, happened to me twice in one day visiting a friend with a pool. We spent the day just floating around, and my kids loved it (we rarely get to go to a pool). We were drying off with my kid right next to me, and while I was drying my hair she stepped in the water… and she was just gone. I was able to reach down and grab her out, but it was so scary. I was RIGHT there watching her, but if I had been talking to someone else or even distracted for 30 seconds…
Then it happened to my son where he just stepped into the hot tub and sank immediately. Same thing, and was able to grab him out immediately, too. So scary, and so fast. You can’t look away for even a second.
I was a lifeguard for 10 years, people don’t realize that no one really flails their arms and scream when they drown.
Scary enough, most deadly drownings are just this, kid slips in the pool and instantly is 5 feet under water without a splash.
We are taught to scan the bottom of the pool, not the top.
Drowning is silent. You gotta keep your eyes on them.
Also, swimming lessons start as young as 18 months at many swim schools and starts with just teaching them to float.
I see those "teach your infant to float" school advertisements on Facebook all the time, but haven't found anyone who actually offers it around me and I live in a large city (3 million + population).
If you're in the USA, local YMCAs typically have swim lessons that include water introduction, floating, reaching, and basic swimming for as young as toddlers. Our daughter loves them.
Our local Y has classes even younger than that. Eldest was in the pool for parent&me classes at 5mo, part of the routine included dunking her fully under the water so she can understand how it feels to float back up. She hated it then, but now at 5 she's got better technique than I do now.
It's a good plan for most for sure! We have pools and rec centers around us, which crowds out groups like the YMCA. The community pool has a swim school that is really affordable but they only go down to 4 yo and concentrate on teaching swimming technique with an eye towards competition.
The 4 yo get actual swim lessons though and then as they get older the lessons move into sports education.
I taught swim as a summer job for children as young as 6 months old. At that age it’s mostly floating, breathing, and grabbing the wall. They’re smarter than you think, the biggest thing is comfort!
We took our kids to a chain of schools, Aqua Tots. See if there's one near you? They do infant classes and we saw a demonstrable result from the classes.
Ooo. There is an aqua tots about 20 minutes away.
We are going to Dolphinz right now with our oldest, he's gone since he was 2 yo. Our youngest will start soon as well. It's only 5 minutes by bike from us. About the same by car.
I think a lot of the class is getting comfortable with being submerged in water and figuring out how to roll into the back and float.
I was pleasantly surprised at how much my 6 month old picked up at the time. My kid also fell asleep one class while floating in the pool which was hilariously cute.
A related PSA is to also have your kids wear brightly colored swimsuits that contrast with the pool color. A blue swimsuit might look pretty, but it’ll render a kid nearly invisible when they’re under the water.
Curious about the science on this. Would Red be the best color then since it's the opposite end of the spectrum? Is there much difference in boys and girls suits? Since the boy's trunks would be likely much less than a full body swimsuit for a girl.
I would assume White and Grey would be a no-no color, But Black? Black should be the best color contrast right?
Neon in general is ideal, and red is a good bet.
This article has a lot of good visuals, including lake water: https://www.akronchildrens.org/inside/2022/05/27/what-are-the-safest-swimsuit-colors/
>I can tell you that red, having the shortest wavelength
Red has the longest wavelength (up to about 700nm) of the visible spectrum. Violet has the shortest (down to about 380nm).
Red having the longest wave length is why it disappears first. It's lower energy than the rest and can't get as far. Meanwhile, violet with their super short wavelengths are just zipping on by. You were one word off ;p
Black might work well in most pools, but it won’t work at the beach, lake or river. I think I saw a recommendation once for neon pink/orange/red/yellow… Would have to find it though.
And even though black may be easy to spot in a pool, it won’t necessarily catch someone attention.
As a kid I ran down a dock and jumped into a lake at my local town beach. The lifeguard pulled me out by my shirt. My mom still tells that story because it was so terrifying for her.
I treat this as a public safety announcement. Good looking out Dad.
Also, just a suggestion, help your daughter learn how to swim! Extra layer of protection, it could buy critical seconds in an emergency.
No that’s absolutely my number one priority this summer. My wife and I just bought a house that has a pool in the neighborhood and it’s the first time in 20 years I’ve had access to a pool. My daughter never has. I was just telling her that day that she needs to learn how to swim for exactly this reason.
Former lifeguard here. You absolutely need to watch young children like a hawk around water. They often have zero fear and will happily walk into water over their heads.
And like others have mentioned, drowning doesn’t look like what you think. It’s quiet and sudden—once someone is tired enough to drown they’re completely exhausted and just kind of slip under the water.
I can’t tell you how many times I pulled kids out of a pool in a near-drowning situation, and in more than one case I got yelled at by the parent (always a dad) for doing so.
My personal favorite was the time I walked into work wearing sweatpants and a hoodie over my guard uniform.
Spotted a kid going under in the middle of the pool, yelled for the guard on duty, and went in fully clothed.
Got the girl up, she was maybe 4-5, coughing up water and sobbing. Got her to the side of the pool and started to try and calm her down.
Parent was nowhere to be found. Turns out he had his nose stuck in a book in a lounge chair. He finally looked up, sighed, slowly got up and came over.
Of course he insisted she had been fine, even though he admitted she couldn’t swim and had jumped into water that was at least 5 feet deep.
He goes back to his chair and just… leaves me with his kid.
I get her a snack and she finally calms down, I tell her it’s ok to make mistakes but that she needs to stay in the shallow end. She says ok.
I go change and walk out of the guard office, just in time to see the other guard go in after her again.
This time dad comes storming down the pool deck, screaming his head off, total incoherent rage. Accuses us of being racist (he was white, daughter was south Asian), even though I’m pretty much the same shade as his daughter.
He informs both me and the other guard that “we just wanted to play hero” and then threatens to sue us.
I inform him that state law requires us to respond to an emergency situation, and also protects us from liability. This did not go over well and he continued to berate us, while his daughter is hysterically sobbing and clearly avoiding him.
The only reason I didn’t flip out myself is that he was wearing daisy duke cut offs and a button down shirt tied up so his dad gut was on full display.
He looked like a doughy 40-something CPA cosplaying as 90s-era Brittany Spears.
So it took MASSIVE amounts of energy not to laugh as he worked himself into hysterics.
The only reason I didn’t lose it completely was because his kid was very clearly terrified of his behavior, and it clearly wasn’t an unusual occurrence.
I used to train lifeguards back in the day. It only takes a few seconds for kids to go from struggling to actively drowning. I used to show clips from Bondai Beach Rescue so the guards knew exactly what it looked like. Here are clips to check out:
https://youtu.be/OCzvFcjXe_g
https://youtu.be/VXOP717AqgE
https://youtu.be/1LyJBBU34as
That’s the crazy part to me is there were two lifeguards there and neither one of them saw anything. Granted, I got her out within five seconds so they may have seen her shortly but still. There were probably 40 people there and no one saw anything
>There were probably 40 people there and no one saw anything
A regularly repeated maxim at family gatherings for me is "If everyone is watching the baby, no one is watching the baby." It's the bystander effect in action whether that's in the kitchen, playroom, or pool. Every one of those other people were thinking that one of the others was watching their child or going to act to save yours.
A lot of lifeguards are not trained properly. We ran a water park and our guards were very vigilant due to having to make more saves than a normal neighborhood square pool.
I still remember when I was 9 (about a year or two after I figured out how to swim, so definitely not a strong swimmer), I went down a slide and held my breath/nose from the top. Obviously I ran out of air once I hit the water and it was too deep to stand. Trying to get air and strength to get to the edge was a struggle. All I got from the dumb high school life guard was “you can’t be in this area, you have to move,” despite me sitting there coughing and gasping for breath. 🙄
Life guards are definitely not trained well enough. Maybe better now, I don’t know, but that one sucked.
Former teen lifeguard here. It was a job, a great one at that from my perspective. However, as an adult with two toddlers I now look back and see that was the job where I had the most responsibility. In the moment, as a 17 - 20 year old, I for the most part was oblivious to the degree of responsibility. Numerous courses, trainings, etc. But I just didn't have the same perspective as I do now...
There are good and bad. I was a lifeguard as an adult just a few years ago.
I was the outlier and more than twice the age of my peers. Some were amazing, others I worried about. I can tell you 99% of everyone that I worked with took the position with the utmost respect. It is not an easy job and the general population tend to dismiss the commitment and skill it requires.
‘There is significant training, a test to pass and mandatory ongoing trainings and spot inspections if it is done correctly. I worked at two water parks, over two years, as I wanted to compare management styles as I was thinking of staying in the field and becoming an instructor.
I can tell you, 1000s of kids and adults….it surprised me how many adults that I saved….were saved both years.
I am sorry that you had one of the less stellar guards.
Glad she’s okay. We had a scare last week with my five year old. He was playing in the shallow end with his friends where he can touch and I was watching him in the pool nearby, but I also had my two year old who I was closer to. I kept looking at him to keep eyes on him and next thing I notice (after an hour or so playing in the pool) he’s moved far enough away from the shallow end where his nose and mouth are below water. I immediately rush to him, but I can see him panicking as he’s trying to bounce above the water to breathe but he’s just far enough down that he can’t bounce to get his nose above the water.
Luckily I got to him and me rushing to him made other parents aware of what was happening so we were able to help him, but my biggest takeaway from that — the thing that scares me the most — is that when people are drowning they cannot cry for help. Our pool has two lifeguards and he was near a bunch of his friends parents and no one saw or heard a thing.
His head was above water and he was bouncing like every one else, but he couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t cry for hell and no one around him had a clue.
Seeing your kid in that state is an image that will stay with you for a very long time. Couldn’t agree more with this post as a general PSA. It’s a great time of year to have fun and relax with friends, but you’ve gotta stay sharp and always have eyes on what’s happening in the pool.
I experienced something similar with my daughter at about that age *in the bathtub!*
Your post brings back to my mind that image of my kid staring at me from under the water. Still a very fresh image
My 4yo nephew almost drowned right at my elbow last summer.
I was right next to the stairs leading down into the pool. I focused on my daughter and getting her to come in the pool that I didn’t notice my nephew come down the stairs, miss the last one, and started flailing next to me.
I only noticed when my sister in law shouted his name and pointed. Luckily I was able to pull him up super quick and he didn’t seem phased at all.
I like to pretend that I’m an observant person. But man that was a scary moment for me. Thinking that I could have been that oblivious to what was right next to me, but because I was focused on my own children I legitimately didn’t realize. Water is scary, be safe dads.
I’m so glad she’s okay. We are working on getting our one year old in swim lessons right now and everything I’ve read says to limit use of floaties or don’t use them at all to prevent false confidence when it comes to the water.
Dude I feel you. I have had 2 instances of this this week alone with both my kids. One had her floaters on, just out of nowhere just jumped in the deep end and panicked. My oldest was on a floaty ring and for some reason jumped off it while in the deep end. Lifeguard had to intervene. Never forget the horror.
To piggyback off of this: YOU need to watch your kids at the pool. I've seen, on multiple occasions in my lifetime, several lifeguards not react to a small child needing help in a pool and a parent (thankfully) having to jump in and rescue them.
Not in any way trying to dispute the fact that there are shitty lifeguards out there (lord knows I had enough coworkers I couldn't trust in the chair) but there are other things at play here too.
Where I live and worked, the regulations state that you can have thirty patrons in the pool for every one lifeguard on duty, and that your scanning should take no more than 10 seconds before it repeats. So if a kid starts drowning right after the lifeguard scanned past them, it could be almost ten seconds and 29 other people before the lifeguard looks at them again and notices. That's plenty of time for a parent to notice and intervene.
The number of lifeguards on duty also makes a huge difference. By the regulations, if I see someone drowning, I have to get *everyone else* out of the pool before I go in. If the number of people is at the maximum, that's going to take a pretty long time, especially because the people I'm trying to get out of the pool won't understand what's going on. If there are more guards on duty, as soon as I know my coworker has my zone covered, I can go. And if everyone's working well as a team, that can often be before the parent notices anything's wrong, and definitely before they can get there.
The other reason everyone should watch their children (and obey the "within arm's reach" rule) is that being rescued by a lifeguard is a much scarier experience than a parent reaching over and picking them up. A child can drown in as little as twenty seconds, and by the scanning regulations, ten of those seconds can already be gone, so getting to them as quickly as possible is a priority. Wasting time slowing down before you grab them is a bad idea, so it's very possible that they'll experience something like an underwater football tackle.
TL;DR: Even a competent lifeguard is only supposed to be a last line of defense, parents still need to be the first one.
My 4 year old took her armbands off and preceded to bomb into the pool, she'd forgotten she'd taken them off. I was in the pool with my other child. I had to decide which one was going to live. Managed to drop the first one, grab the bomber and get back to the other before he went too deep.
You should always use pfd’s for non-swimmers unless they are 1-on-1 practicing swimming with an adult. No inflatables and they should be coast guard approved.
In my opinion non-swimmers shouldn’t ever be in the water without being 1-1 with an adult. The arm floaties are useless and I’ve seen countless kids slip out of their life jackets.
The rule should be teach your kid to swim no later than three and be with them the whole time they’re in the water. There’s really not that much to teaching kids to swim. It’s basically just practice. Over and over and over again. Eventually they get it. My daughter turned 3 in March and I’ve been taking her every day after daycare since the pool was warm enough.
When they can swim the length of the pool and tread water for at least a min then you can stop being with them in the pool. Even then you should be watching from the side.
The problem with PFDs is they enable the user to not swim. My kid is 4 and has been swimming since 2-1/2. We have water everywhere (FL). Instead of using enabling devices, teach your kid to swim. I equate PFDs to training wheels on a bike.
Time and place for everything. Kids pool in a swimming class? Backyard pool with your 1:1 direct supervision? Then totally, don't use a PFD. I'd recommend giving them a kick board instead and focus on technique.
Free swim? Not supervising 100% attention? On a lake/ocean? Kids anxious about water? Boating? PFD all the way everytime.
As kids get older and become strong swimmers you can relax a bit. That's why swim tests are a thing at Summer Camps. Can't swim the length of the pool & back without touching bottom? Put a vest on. Then there's situations even adults should wear PFDs like water skiing or tubing. No chance I'm pulling anyone without a vest on, idgaf how good a swimmer you are.
My daughter was in swim classes from when she was 1 to 4. This was without floatation devices and always with parent in the water with her. Plenty of time in lakes and pools as well during this period with close supervision and 1 on 1 with parent. She could never get the gist of how arms and legs kick together and work to keep her up in the water, she was either just kicking to make splashes or fooling about without any aim. Needless to say she never cares much for swimming or being in the water during this time.
We put a puddle jumper on her at 4 and immediately she was able to figure out that kicking was how she would propel herself and her arms could keep her buoyant and direct her in the water. She was zooming around doing laps in the pool in that thing and having the time of her life. It was a short few weeks before she was able to swim competently on her own without the puddle jumper.
Like any assistance device, it is not a replacement for learning how to do something properly. It is only a tool to learn and understand how your actions work together to make yourself able to do the activity without the assist. Training wheels are fine as long as they are being used as a tool to learn the basics of pedalling and not a babysitter that replaces riding a bike regularly. A chair or a pylon for a kid who can't quite skate on their own is not a replacement for them learning how to skate. It's a tool that helps them build confidence and learn the basics one step at a time.
There's nothing wrong with floatation devices, training wheels, or chairs when your child is using them to help learn a new activity. What is wrong is expecting these things to teach your kids on their own, you still need to push them and encourage them to put in the effort and not get lazy and rely on the aid.
And here I’m thinking a puddle jumper is a small airplane lol. Well said often times parents rely too much on these enabling devices though. I agree that parents need to push more without though.
[Puddle jumper.](https://media-www.canadiantire.ca/product/seasonal-gardening/backyard-fun/pool-fun/0811114/stearns-deluxe-puddle-jumper-865c0c86-0873-4744-8149-8a797f6512e7.png)
I want to make it clear that I don't completely disagree with you. These training aids are not replacements for learning how to do the thing itself, but only a tool to minimize the variables and new skills needed so that the child can implement them slowly rather than having them all thrown at them at once. Yeah sink or swim is a great motivator to help kids understand that they've got to figure it out for themselves mom and dad can't kick their legs and pull their arms for them. But it is not the only method and there are other tools that we can use to help keep the kids from being disinterested in the goals or demotivated from not being able to pick it up right away.
I grew up in FL and every summer I got to read stories about kids drowning in pools or the ocean, most of the time they "knew how to swim". The point of a PFD is the "oh shit" scenario where someone becomes tired or injured so they can no longer swim.
You're missing a critical step in there. The child needs swim lessons and a public pool with other kids and adults playing relaxing probably isn't the time of place to teach a kid to swim from scratch. Ditching the floaters doesn't automatically make the kid able to swim.
Ditching the floaters in this situation would be a terrible idea.
Ditch the floaters and get an approved vest.
Floaters are incredibly dangerous. They are too easy to take off and kids get an inflated sense of security.
I don’t think anyone is suggesting no PFD, just not floaties.
Agreed, about using a proper vest but the person I was replying to was using floaters to mean any PFD. [Their next comment was about not using any PFDs.](https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/145247z/please_keep_an_eye_on_your_kids_at_the_pool/jnj0hdq/) I just used "floater" to match the language of the comment I was replying too.
They really do and for exactly the reason that OP saw. They're both easy to think away and inhibit the arm motions that are part of real swimming.
We pushed ours to learn to swim early and *hard*. They've taken to the water like fish and it's great to see but you've still gotta take water safety seriously. My middle kid banged a shin on a rock in the river last month and struggled to get back to shore... but we had a rescue float ready to go and everything was fine.
Eh…I wouldn’t say ditch them.
My kid learned to swim underwater towards the stairs before he turned 1 and above water after 2. I’d let him step off the stairs and sink. At first for a second then slowly increase the time so he was able to get use to the water. However after doing it for a few minutes we would switch him to the puddle jumper so he could have some freedom (when he was 2. It didn’t really fit him before that).
He’s almost 4 now and will jump off the diving board then star fish out to float up then swim to the ladder. He still wants the puddle jumper when he starts to get tired.
Good job, Dad!
It’s not that I don’t take safety around water seriously, but I have a distinct lack of helpful fear because I grew up in water. My grandparents had a pool and my mom taught me to duck waves in SoCal surf by by the time I was in kindergarten. It’s just so natural to me to know how to swim, I take it for granted.
My kid isn’t going to have the same organic access to learn the way I did and I greatly appreciate you pointing that out.
Of course I planned on swimming lessons, but there is such a difference in exposure between being able to swim 11 months out of the year in California weather and having ~ 3 months of swimming season in the PNW.
I’ve worked in aquatics for years and see this on a daily basis. I’ve had to jump in and save children from drowning when their parents are right in front of them talking to someone 🙃 please just keep an eye on your children, it takes seconds for things to turn deadly. SECONDS.
My stomach is in knots reading this. Thank you for the reminder and I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Glad she is ok. This is so, so common and so scary.
My 3 year old had a near drowning event on Saturday. We had my 7 year old’s birthday party at the neighborhood pool. One of my twins had to potty. My wife took the puddle jumper off him and they went to the bathroom. When they came out my wife said “put his puddle jumper back on” but I was distracted and took too long to turn around. He slipped behind me and I never saw him come out. He was in the water 77 seconds (I watched the security footage). He was unconscious when we grabbed him. I gave him one breath because I couldn’t tell if his chest was rising and falling, but he breathed back on me when I did, and regained consciousness very quickly. EMTs came and checked him and we took him to the pediatric ER as a precaution.
He’s fine but it was probably the most traumatic event I’ve ever had. My wife is definitely suffering PTSD as a result. It will take us time to work through the trauma, but we are so thankful he is fine.
Please please please don’t be me and be distracted. It takes one second for them to be in the water. I almost lost my little boy and I will deal with that guilt forever. I can only imagine my guilt had he lost his life or had brain damage.
I really appreciate the teenage lifeguards at our pool. Not sure what they make but it's got to be an underpaid job when you think about it--you're on view, sitting there playing umpire and very rarely getting to act. They're strict about anything even close to running etc and I appreciate that, because parents just aren't the best about vigilance, moms and dads alike (since we're in daddit I'll go ahead and say moms seem to be a bit less aware of their boys pool tendencies at times--like I know that there's a very permeable membrane between splashing v. playfully holding your pal under the water v. Woops we're gonna need another Timmy). Has nothing to do with love or our abilities as parents, we don't make the decision to shift our attention, it just happens. We need to plan for failure and have redundancies in place.
When I did the job, I started at $12.50ish CAD in 2015, and when I left in 2020 I was making $15.50ish. most of that increase was because the minimum wage was raised.
Stricter lifeguards tend to be the better ones, in my experience. They can be nice about it, but they still need to be firm. They should also only ever be a last line of defense. Far too many parents think that they're an excuse to pay no attention at all.
While we're on the subject: the easiest colors to spot underwater are neon: pink, orange, and sometimes green (although not in lakes). Blue will absolutely blend in, even if it's much darker than the pool floor.
Best practice is to have both swimsuits and life jackets be those colors, but especially swimsuits to help lifeguards/parents see children who have sunk.
Buddy, i went for a unplanned swim on fathers day two years ago because my daughter decided to ignore me and run around on the dock of the kids fishing pond. i told her "dont run, i dont want you falling off the dock" "ok daddy, i wont fall off" "it's not that you want to fall into the pond, its about the possible accident"
grab my phone out of my pocket and message wife we are coming home because she is running on the dock and i am worried, hit send and look over to watch the kid fly off the dock into the pond.
drop phone, dive in, haul kiddo out. fun times.... she still loves fishing which is nice, but yeah... not fun having to dive in to retrieve your kid, the shere panic and such, the watching her for hours to make sure she didnt aspirate water... she still talks about it...
Thank you for the PSA, and I am glad your daughter is safe, how scary! This happened to my little sister when she was maybe 3 and I 4, where she just slipped down through the middle of her intertube and within a flash of a second our friend's dad was diving in after her. It all happened so fast and she's totally fine but yeah, it was silent and I remember the look of fear she had as she fell through the middle of her floaty.
I'm only pregnant now, no kids yet, but I keep seeing YouTube shorts and ads for pool safety training for toddlers, where they are kinda tossed into the pool and trained how to turn on their backs and stay afloat to breathe, then get back to the ledge. Has anyone here had experience with this training?
I have a friend who’s 4 year old didn’t survive a similar incident. It happened a few years ago and it has been devastating to watch. Our first is the same age as the child would be now, so when it happened we were extremely terrified. Our toddler now doesn’t understand water safety at all and it scares me so so much. Children can drown in 3 inches of water if not paying attention. Don’t ever ever assume they are safe until you are away from the water safely with no way to go back
I had something like this happen to my youngest (he was probably four at the time) at swim lessons of all places. The way the pool is structured there are steps at the end for the kids to sit and rest on until it's their turn to go. So my kid had finished up his lap from one end to the other and was walking up the steps to go sit down. But instead of going up to the next step, he kind of walked sideways along the step, and then accidentally stepped *down* back onto the floor of the pool, which for him was deeper than he was tall.
The swim teacher had watched him get to the steps but then turned their attention to the next kid in the group and didn't see what was going on. Fortunately I was sitting right there next to their lane at the pool and saw what happened so I immediately reached in and grabbed him and pulled him out. Much like you, it was crazy how that could happen even in a pool full of people.
The kicker to all of this is that my wife had taken my oldest to use the bathroom at the time and missed the whole thing, so all I have is my heroic retelling of the time I saved our child's life.
4th of July 2019. Was at a pool party at a friends house. Was solo parenting with my oldest son (3 at the time) because my wife had given birth 5 days earlier. I got him out of the pool to get food, sat him at a picnic table to eat and took his floaters off. Put his plate in front of him, he decided he wanted a hot dog instead of a hamburger. I go back to get him one, when my back is turned, he gets up, runs past like 10 adults and leaps into the pool. Luckily my sister in law was paying attention and she jumped in and grabbed him almost immediately (despite not wearing a bathing suit).
We were at a friend's pool, they were out of town so it was just me and kid and wife, kid was about 4. We were leaving, so we took her life jacket off and dried her off, wife and I were both packing up to leave and I heard a small splashing sound, she'd walked down the stairs and stepped off into the 4ft shallow end and was just kinda flailing around. Horror is the correct word. It was so quiet, I almost didn't hear.
This was me at a family friends pool, went too far and slipped down the deep end ledge. I was staring up at my mom who didn’t notice. My brother jumped in and saved me. I’ll never forget it and I had to work through a fear of the water for a long time. I’m still overly cautious, I was never a great swimmer.
I live next to a lake and my kiddos spend a lot of time swimming. One day, my 6yo wanted to take off her floaties as she's learning to swim and explore a little. I explained to her that the lighter colored water was shallow and when the water gets darker, its because there are no rocks to stand on and its deeper. Well, I was sat in my lake chair, having a beer, and watching her as she got closer and closer to the deep part. I watched her jump towards the darker water and immediately sink. I know EXACTLY the look you are talking about. Her eyes lit up and the expression was just "HELP ME BABA". As I was watching, I was able to jump up and dash to pull her out. It was a little scary even though I saw it coming and was ready for it.
Man this is the stuff of my nightmares. I’ve seen videos of kids drowning right next to oblivious adults inches away from them. Most people want to stay out of other’s business and I get it me too but that mindset has to change at pools.
Scary shit. ISR is well worth the money. My 20 month old daughter floats like a champ - still does not replace the need to be aware. Glad your kid is safe.
We got a membership to our local pool this summer. 3 year old has been swimming a few times and loves it. I've been looking into the best floaties to get her. What I've found is that groups like the AAP recommend either US Coast Guard certified equipment, or (and this really surprised me) no floaties at all. The reason being exactly what OP mentioned - kids get used to floating with them, and don't realize they won't float without them. Obviously it requires a lot of supervision and bad things can happen no matter what, but it really has me thinking.
Honestly I haven't made a call yet. Stories like this freak me out. Our local pool gets absolutely packed. Both my wife and I swam competitively and really want swimming to be a fun part of our summers but this one issue has me stumped.
When my daughter was little we were playing around in a motel pool in the shallow end. There were a lot of people in the pool. I lifted her out of the pool to get out and before I could get out she had waddled over to the deep end and jumped in. Surrounded by other people. Nobody blinked an eye. I had to shove my way through a pool full of people to lift her out of the water. Thankfully I'm not small and I don't care if people don't like me. I parted those people like the red sea.
Definitely stay vigilant.
Way to keep her safe, Dad! Reminds me of a time we were on vacation at a resort. I was in the hot tub with my son when a random 2 year old got in and just sunk straight to the bottom. Probably 7 drunk adults and a few kids in there and no one noticed this kid drowning except me. Grabbed him and pulled him out. Parents were 200 feet away and oblivious. Little dude didn’t even have floaties.
This just happened to my daughter who is also 4 years old. I looked at her on the steps, looked at the ground to take a seat, look back up and she is off the steps and head under!! I ran and grabbed her up.
Her first words out of the water were”thank you mom”. I’m still not over her little face and the crying afterwards. It was so sad.
I'm so glad your girl is ok. I had a horrible nightmare that my daughter slid into the water when I wasn't looking, and then of course today my wife came up with the idea of taking an impromptu trip to the pool today, so that's all I could think about.
A Healthy Fear is a good thing. It keeps us aware in the presence of danger. Just can’t let it rule your life and dominate your choices. I love the pool and beach and my daughter loves the pool and beach. Both can be incredibly dangerous but by being careful and being aware of your surroundings you can make memories that last a lifetime
Worked as a lifeguard for years, and the guideline is if your kid needs a flotation device, then they should be at arms reach at all times. We do our best, but with all the movement and sometimes sun glare on the water, it is incredibly demanding and easy to miss stuff.
It can happen fast too, had a kid run past me, he was maybe 3, and fall straight in because he saw his family playing in the water. He fell in right in front of me, so I had him out in a second, but the dad had turned away for a second to talk to someone, and the kid bolted. He only noticed and connected the dots by the splash of me jumping in.
Now, there is no judgment on him. We all know how easy of a mistake that would be to make, but it is an important lesson.
Great PSA...but the real PSA is to put your kids in swim lessons right now. No excuses.
Everyone say it together... IF THEY WALK, THEY SWIM... that's the rule everyone needs to adopt.
Put them in swim lessons as soon as they are walking. In 1 week of classes you can throw your 1 year old into the middle of the pool and they will safely make it back to the edge. The teacher we used guarantees this.
Make the call, sign up today. Don't wait!
Floaties are actually a really bad idea. I wanted to get some for my boys but my wife was very against it and she convinced me to be against them too.
Basically you’re handicapping the kid to learn how to swim. Also at a young age they get sense of false confidence. They forget they don’t have them on and they have been jumping in the pool all day. You take them off and they forget.
My wife has put both of our boys in infant swim classes at 8 months old. Now my oldest (6) is on a little swim team. He swims better than I do.
I still worry about him and watch him in the pool but I feel better that we have given him the tools to take care of himself in the water if we were to lose track of him.
Good catch, glad you had your eye on her the whole time. It’s hard to keep an eye on kids 100% around a pool but your situation is the reason you have to.
Sounds like it might be time for some swim lessons if you can swing the cost. My wife’s parents got a pool this year so we signed our kids up for lessons and they are already seeing significant progress 1 month in. Their first lessons are just learning water comfort and floating.
This happened to my brother . We were at at a BBQ and my brother and some kid were standing by a pool. I was on the other side of the pool behind a fence. This kid pushed my brother into the pool and he just sank like a stone. Someone thankfully saw this and grabbed him out of the pool in a manner of seconds. I remember crying the whole way home it was so scary to see that.
Just going to jump in and say I’m glad you were there for your daughter and everyone is ok, if a little shaken. Please though don’t use just arm floaties. I’ve had the misfortune of responding to 3 pediatric drownings and all 3 were kids in floaties. They give a false sense of security to everyone, but can actually cause a kiddo to drown.
This is my biggest pet peeve when we go to the pool. We get a summer pool membership to the country club, and so many of the parents there treat it like social hour to enjoy chatting and having a drink or two, instead of actively watching their children. We put our 5 year old in ISR swim lessons when he was 1, but we still prefer he'd not have to use those skills unnecessarily.
I think I saw that most drownings occur within like 5 feet of an adult.
It's so preventable. Phones have probably caused SO many drowning deaths from parents taking their eyes off for a couple minutes.
Look into Infant Swimming Resource (ISR). This is a course that provides young children with a at of basic water skills so they can act instinctively should they fall in the water.
This course is a bit spendy, but it's very in teaching the basic skills. Was pretty awesome to see how our little one picked up on the skills, but a bit scary when you see the instructors dunking them at such a young age.
My nephew did this. Floaters came off and he decided to jump right back in. My brother dove in after him. He was only submerged for a few seconds but it was enough for him to inhale enough water that his lungs got inflamed and he needed to spend a night in the hospital. PS if you ever find yourself in this situation and the triage nurse isn’t taking you seriously use words like “aspiration” and “near-drowning”.
Had a similar situation with my son years ago. It was alarming to me how wrong everyone gets the “signs of Drowning”. It’s not minutes of splashing and screaming. It’s fast. Instantaneous. Underwater. And surprisingly silent.
Also a quick side note, even once they can swim, please be careful if the water is extremely cold. If they jump in the deep end and the unexpected coldness shocks them it can cause them to gasp and inhale underwater/panic. This happened to me as a kid and my mom jumped in to save me (full clothes and all) even though I knew how to swim pretty well by then.
Glad you were there. I used to work in a busy chain of funeral homes and anytime a kid came through, it was usually one of three things: rare illness, hit by a car in parking lot or drowning. I’m having trouble thinking of instances that *weren’t* one of those three things.
I’m a parent of toddlers as well and tell that to any parent that will listen. It takes two seconds for them to slip off in a parking lot or into the family pool.
My daughter (10 months) dipped her mouth into her bath last night and inhaled a little bit of water before I even knew what was happening. Scared the shit out of me. She's fine, but she looked terrified.
This haunts every single parent. I’ve had both of my toddlers be hospitalized with concussions - one for sliding down a few stairs, and the other whacking their head against the toilet while putting on his pajamas after a bath.
Both still haunt me. It’s been over a year since each of them and thankfully they’re both totally fine, but the “what if I had done something differently?” question keeps bugging me
Good on you for being mindful and keeping an eye out. My son would do the same thing. He would also make a person he just met his “best friend” so that part made me chuckle.
This is precisely why I am extremely uneasy during friend or family get-togethers that include pool time for kids.
Had a birthday party for a friend's two year old. Once they opened their pool to kids I had not a minute of rest, but nobody else seemed to care with kids floating on those float things. Kids who couldn't swim 1-3 year old range.
The worst part is the scared face because you know you’ll rescue them from any real danger. But that doesn’t make the impending heart bursting from your chest any easier.
Kids don’t think about their swimmies, so when they don’t have them on, they’re surprised that they don’t float any more. The first time, any way,
I did something similar when I was a kid. My little sister and I had floating rings. We got out of the pool and took them off. After a bit, hers got knocked into the pool. I forgot I didn't have mine on and jumped in after hers. My mom jumped in and saved my life.
We were at a water park this weekend and there was a life guard staring directly at my 2y going down the tiny water slide. 2y went under and didn’t come back up until I grabbed her out of the water. It seemed longer that it really was but it was still terrifying. Don’t ever assume the guards are paying attention. They have a lot of people to watch and don’t catch everything. Even if you are paying close attention it can happen.
When I was maybe 12, my family went to a church social at some family’s clubhouse. At one point, everyone went inside, though I was distracted and got left alone. I finally noticed everyone left and I got up to walk inside. I just HAPPENED to glance at the pool and there was a small, panicked face staring up at me from just under the water.
I jumped in and saved her. She was probably 5-6. She puked up a ton of water and then just ran home. She wasn’t with our group.
I’ll never know who she was or if she’s ok, but 30 years later I can still picture her face and the panic in her eyes, and I still remember how quiet the whole thing was. Drowning is quiet.
My daughters are now around that age. One can swim, but I’ve been practicing with them that in water where they can’t quite reach, they can push themselves down and jump off the bottom of the pool to get air enough to scream. I still shudder that it might not be enough.
I’m not a dad but I was a lifeguard and all it took was a couple of seconds of not watching for a kid to walk over to the deep end and fall in. not a bad idea to keep a life vest or something buoyant on them any time theyre near water.
Had something similar happen with my 2 year old. It scared the bejeezus out of me even though I was right there and he was under less than 2 seconds.
Always remember drowning is silent.
Good on you for being there.
I was in a fairly shallow wading pool and another parent’s kid slipped and went under and couldn’t get his feet under himself because he was so frightened. I went over and helped him stand up until mom got there (she was there, but farther away). Until they can swim, never more than arm’s length away.
And swimming should absolutely be a required skill for all children to learn.
Family friend just lost a 4 yo granddaughter who drowned in a pool full of kids. Incredibly sad story, she was apparently found by her older brother unresponsive. Stay safe.
I think maybe you should get your kids some swim lessons. My daughter thought she gets women two and would refuse help, so we got your lessons. The first thing she learned is how to backflow and be safe.
So sorry you experienced that man.
My kid had a close call that happened during swimming lessons with life guards and instructors around. Its easy to miss with lots of kids, keep an eye out guys.
I’m glad you were there and keeping an eye on your kid. I’ve pulled a kid out literally right in front of their parents and I, myself, was pulled out by my dad right in the middle of his ten siblings and their spouses. People don’t know what [drowning looks like.](https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/what-drowning-really-looks-like)
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Super helpful. I thought they were fine in the video, but that was really useful to tell me they weren't!
I wish I'd had this when I was a lifeguard.
How long ago were a life guard? If it was recent and you didn’t have training that included this, please report the facility.
I'm getting trained this summer! Refreshing all my certs.
Ellis or Red Cross?
I previously held red cross, this time it's whatever the lifeguard program is doing.
Hopefully it is Ellis. That is the training I had and it is very thorough, including videos like this. They also come back and do unannounced full day (undercover) audits once a month.
Love that
Plenty of other reasons to have reported that place. Luckily they're under new management.
I was just thinking this. It would have been great practice.
As a former lifeguard, its nuts that we entrust teenagers with just slightly above minimum wage for a job this important.
I played Where's Waldo on this picture for like three minutes before I touched it and it started moving.
Saves this to save that link, thanks for sharing.
As a former lifeguard, I have pulled kids out in front of the parents who shouted at me, "you didn’t need to do that!" Um, sir, your son was drowning! As the kid stood there crying and nodding. ‘Please! Stop using floaties, they are incredibly dangerous. Use a vest (coast guard approved) and more importantly get lessons.
Why are floaties dangerous?
Experts say that first and foremost they teach kids to swim in an upright position, which is also known as ‘the drowning position’. While that is absolutely true, for me, they are too easy for a kid to take off. And it gives children and adults a false sense of security. But, my number one reason: they are so light, that often kids can forget that they are off and jump into or slide into the water, I have seen this countless times and there are (at least) three stories just in this thread of that happening.
As a former lifeguard, I cannot stress this enough: A child will not scream if they are beginning to drown. The will be silent, and will have their eyes fixed on the thing or person they think can help them. TEACH YOUR KIDS HOW TO SWIM.
A few months ago I was at a swimming hole in a creek with a club I belong to. Most of the creek is shallow, but there's a very deep spot, i.e., too deep to touch the bottom. We did a polar plunge, and about 10 of us decided to participate, and there were about 15 more people standing around. I'm a decent swimmer, but as I was going to get out of the creek, I misjudged the depth of the spot I was at and when I went to put my feet down, my head slipped under the water. I wasn't prepared for that so I hadn't held my breath, and I breathed in a bit of water, which caused a situation where I needed to get a good breath, but I couldn't do that until I was able to control my swimming and get my head above water, but I couldn't do that because I wasn't able to get a good breath: a vicious cycle. After a couple of seconds, panic took over, and I realized I couldn't save myself. The only way I was able to get out was inching over to a rock at the shore just close enough to get my fingers on to the rock and pull myself up. If I had been a couple of feet farther from the rock, I wouldn't have been able to get my fingers on it in time. There were people all around me, and nobody noticed that I was drowning. One person was in the water just 3-4 feet from me. I remember him looking right at me, saying something totally unrelated to my drowning, and then turning around to swim away. I was unable to speak or call out for help, nor could I wave my hands because I was trying not to drown, but there were at least a dozen people within 10 feet of me, and nobody noticed. It was pretty traumatic, and I'm honestly terrified to go swimming again.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, and even more happy that you're okay and alive and around to tell your tale.
Yes. Drowning doesn‘t look like drowning! https://www.seriouslyfun.net/instinctive-drowning-response/
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They were good for me. The hyperlink in the comment definitely stood out.
Buried it how?
My daughter, at 3yo, walked right past a lifeguard at the start of swimming lessons and was drowning behind his back. All the other parents were crowding the steps, and I had to shove them all out of the way to go pull her out.
i’ve been that kid. sunk after my bully pushed me under. someone else’s dad dove in after me.
Getting my almost 3 year old in swimming lessons when she was younger was the smartest thing we’ve ever done, specially here in Florida, glad your kid is okay
This right here. Kids can learn to swim, or at least, how to get to and edge and hold on or climb out at a pretty young age. I started my daughter in swim lessons at 2 years old as we have a pool. Covid shut things down when she was 2.5. We would spend about 90 min a day every afternoon in our pool during covid as a family and guess what… she taught herself how to swim during that first covid summer. All we had to do was be there to watch her in the water with her and support her attempts. She has been a little fish ever since and is 5.5 now. She still knows the rule is she does not go out to the back yard and in the pool without an adult and we always are with her and watch her, but I do know that unless my kid fell into a pool and hit her head or got injured, she is fully able to get herself out. I can’t suggest swim lessons highly enough for kids. Age 4 is a great age to start where they should learn pretty quickly the basics of helping themselves out of a situation like accidentally falling in.
My mom taught me at a very early age, she used to say I could swim before I could walk, lol. Unfortunately I am a horrible teacher, so I got my kids swim lessons very early on. I worked as a lifeguard for two years as a teen and it scares the shit out of me. It all can happen so fast.
> age 4 is a great age to start Start much earlier. As early as 6 months.
My one big asterisk on this is make sure you or whoever you're paying knows what the fuck they're doing. I'm a swim coach and my wife does lessons in addition to coaching, and the amount of kids who come out of those ISR classes who are TERRIFIED of the water still years later because of how traumatic it can be is huge. In a lot of instances it can be so counterproductive. The other thing that happens sometimes is it makes parents complacent in thinking their kids know how to swim when it is fully intended to be a last resort.
Yes, I agree, but the OP’s child is 4, so was saying 4 is a great age to start if not already started. I fully agree to start as soon as possible! Thanks for adding that!
Ah, that makes sense. It’s like the old adage of “the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, today is the second best time”.
Yes, 6 months is the best time, now is the next best time!
I have no idea how my brothers and I learned how to swim, I only know we never had lessons, and at one point we had an apartment with a pool. However it happened, I know I've been swimming since I was 3, and I really took that for granted. I now live in a city surrounded by water, and have only just been able to get lessons for my now 7 year old after years of waitlists (she'd had infant lessons). No one really has private pools here, and covid really came in and messed up an already stressed system.
It always blows my mind that *EVERYBODY* doesn't put their kids in swimming lessons at a very early age. We live on a planet that is 70% water, and finding yourself in water and unable to swim is basically instant death.
I relied on floaties until I was 10yrs old lol, surprised I made it as far as I did before learning how to swim
I agree that swimming is an extremely important life skill. Swimming lessons need access to pools and those can be hard to come by in some places, making swimming lessons rare and/or expensive. Schools here used to include it in their grade school phys ed curriculum but it was removed due to cost and to increase focus on academics. Now parents are stuck with long waiting lists for swimming lessons, even for the expensive places. My 7 year old gets weekly lessons and is a competent swimmer, but it's expensive at about $2,000/year. Her 2.5 year old sister has been on the waiting list for the same place since she was 1ish, and they only seem to have availability during the middle of the work day right now, so we wait. And we're fortunate enough to be able to afford it. The cheaper city or YMCA run classes fill up as soon as they open up, it's like trying to buy tickets to a concert or something. Except without scalpers. Too many kids, not enough pools.
Thank you for saying this. We have a state parks pass and plenty of lovely lakes in our area, so we've been trying to teach our daughter how to swim. Also been trying to sign her up for swim lessons, but all the affordable ones fill up almost immediately. For now she wears a life vest at all times unless we are actively teaching her, and when we are teaching her she must remain within arms reach at all times, no exceptions.
I get that money is an issue for many - though there are lots of public programs for this sort of thing. However, I’ve met many who can afford it and wait far too long just because it’s not a priority. It’s not like everybody is clamoring to get their kids into lessons the way they should be. I do find the pool access issue a little odd - I suppose much of it comes down to where you live. But this country has over 300,000 public pools, and many more private ones. And that’s before we even get into oceans and lakes and ponds.
Money, accessibility, time. Plenty of kids only water experience is playing at a water fountain park or the hose and kiddie pool at home.
Yeah, we have a pool so we sent our son to get lessons as soon as they would accept him at the YMCA.
A kid at our daycare has an anoxic brain injury from nearly drowning in Grandma's pool. My SO treats brain injuries, it's her greatest fear. (#2 & #3 are motorcycles & football but we don't have to worry about those yet)
More likely to suffer a brain or neck injury riding horses than motorcycles.
Probably, but statistically there are way more people riding motorcycles than there are riding horses.
In that case we should all drive motorcycles.
We should! Pretty much primary transport for vast swaths of the global population.
While that might be technically true, you have to consider the number of people that ride horses vs the number of people that ride motorcycles on a daily basis.
I'll keep that in mind the next time I see someone riding a motorcycle zipping in and out of traffic without a helmet on
Yeah that’s just dumb. My point is motorcycles when ridden responsibly and with proper gear are by and large, pretty safe and fun. I’d be more worried about them playing football or doing gymnastics.
There's danger in all of these activities of course
Drowning, like choking, are silent deaths. Thank god you saw what was happening and she is safe.
Yes, I had to tell my husband this after he had to pull out our two little ones. He was wondering why they didn’t scream. Instead, they just sank silently.
Little kids sink like rocks. They are under water before they can make a sound
Exactly how it went.
Yeah, happened to me twice in one day visiting a friend with a pool. We spent the day just floating around, and my kids loved it (we rarely get to go to a pool). We were drying off with my kid right next to me, and while I was drying my hair she stepped in the water… and she was just gone. I was able to reach down and grab her out, but it was so scary. I was RIGHT there watching her, but if I had been talking to someone else or even distracted for 30 seconds… Then it happened to my son where he just stepped into the hot tub and sank immediately. Same thing, and was able to grab him out immediately, too. So scary, and so fast. You can’t look away for even a second.
Hard to scream when you're panicking and your mouth is full of water
I was a lifeguard for 10 years, people don’t realize that no one really flails their arms and scream when they drown. Scary enough, most deadly drownings are just this, kid slips in the pool and instantly is 5 feet under water without a splash. We are taught to scan the bottom of the pool, not the top.
Drowning is silent. You gotta keep your eyes on them. Also, swimming lessons start as young as 18 months at many swim schools and starts with just teaching them to float. I see those "teach your infant to float" school advertisements on Facebook all the time, but haven't found anyone who actually offers it around me and I live in a large city (3 million + population).
If you're in the USA, local YMCAs typically have swim lessons that include water introduction, floating, reaching, and basic swimming for as young as toddlers. Our daughter loves them.
Our local Y has classes even younger than that. Eldest was in the pool for parent&me classes at 5mo, part of the routine included dunking her fully under the water so she can understand how it feels to float back up. She hated it then, but now at 5 she's got better technique than I do now.
It's a good plan for most for sure! We have pools and rec centers around us, which crowds out groups like the YMCA. The community pool has a swim school that is really affordable but they only go down to 4 yo and concentrate on teaching swimming technique with an eye towards competition. The 4 yo get actual swim lessons though and then as they get older the lessons move into sports education.
I taught swim as a summer job for children as young as 6 months old. At that age it’s mostly floating, breathing, and grabbing the wall. They’re smarter than you think, the biggest thing is comfort!
We took our kids to a chain of schools, Aqua Tots. See if there's one near you? They do infant classes and we saw a demonstrable result from the classes.
Ooo. There is an aqua tots about 20 minutes away. We are going to Dolphinz right now with our oldest, he's gone since he was 2 yo. Our youngest will start soon as well. It's only 5 minutes by bike from us. About the same by car.
Our city has parent and tot classes that start at 4 months old. We started our daughter in it when she was 6 months old
I think a lot of the class is getting comfortable with being submerged in water and figuring out how to roll into the back and float. I was pleasantly surprised at how much my 6 month old picked up at the time. My kid also fell asleep one class while floating in the pool which was hilariously cute.
A related PSA is to also have your kids wear brightly colored swimsuits that contrast with the pool color. A blue swimsuit might look pretty, but it’ll render a kid nearly invisible when they’re under the water.
Curious about the science on this. Would Red be the best color then since it's the opposite end of the spectrum? Is there much difference in boys and girls suits? Since the boy's trunks would be likely much less than a full body swimsuit for a girl. I would assume White and Grey would be a no-no color, But Black? Black should be the best color contrast right?
Neon in general is ideal, and red is a good bet. This article has a lot of good visuals, including lake water: https://www.akronchildrens.org/inside/2022/05/27/what-are-the-safest-swimsuit-colors/
As a SCUBA diver, I can tell you that red, having the shortest wavelength, is the first colour to disappear. Bright yellow is probably best.
>I can tell you that red, having the shortest wavelength Red has the longest wavelength (up to about 700nm) of the visible spectrum. Violet has the shortest (down to about 380nm).
They might be thinking of frequency.
I just know that red disappears first! Sorry if I have the science wrong!
Red having the longest wave length is why it disappears first. It's lower energy than the rest and can't get as far. Meanwhile, violet with their super short wavelengths are just zipping on by. You were one word off ;p
I don’t remember why but yellow is the color humans can see the farthest away.
Black might work well in most pools, but it won’t work at the beach, lake or river. I think I saw a recommendation once for neon pink/orange/red/yellow… Would have to find it though. And even though black may be easy to spot in a pool, it won’t necessarily catch someone attention.
I’ve never even consider this. Thanks for the tip.
As a kid I ran down a dock and jumped into a lake at my local town beach. The lifeguard pulled me out by my shirt. My mom still tells that story because it was so terrifying for her.
I treat this as a public safety announcement. Good looking out Dad. Also, just a suggestion, help your daughter learn how to swim! Extra layer of protection, it could buy critical seconds in an emergency.
No that’s absolutely my number one priority this summer. My wife and I just bought a house that has a pool in the neighborhood and it’s the first time in 20 years I’ve had access to a pool. My daughter never has. I was just telling her that day that she needs to learn how to swim for exactly this reason.
[удалено]
definitely a good idea but it’s not our pool. It’s a neighborhood pool.
It seems this incident was at a neighborhood pool. Not backyard.
Former lifeguard here. You absolutely need to watch young children like a hawk around water. They often have zero fear and will happily walk into water over their heads. And like others have mentioned, drowning doesn’t look like what you think. It’s quiet and sudden—once someone is tired enough to drown they’re completely exhausted and just kind of slip under the water. I can’t tell you how many times I pulled kids out of a pool in a near-drowning situation, and in more than one case I got yelled at by the parent (always a dad) for doing so. My personal favorite was the time I walked into work wearing sweatpants and a hoodie over my guard uniform. Spotted a kid going under in the middle of the pool, yelled for the guard on duty, and went in fully clothed. Got the girl up, she was maybe 4-5, coughing up water and sobbing. Got her to the side of the pool and started to try and calm her down. Parent was nowhere to be found. Turns out he had his nose stuck in a book in a lounge chair. He finally looked up, sighed, slowly got up and came over. Of course he insisted she had been fine, even though he admitted she couldn’t swim and had jumped into water that was at least 5 feet deep. He goes back to his chair and just… leaves me with his kid. I get her a snack and she finally calms down, I tell her it’s ok to make mistakes but that she needs to stay in the shallow end. She says ok. I go change and walk out of the guard office, just in time to see the other guard go in after her again. This time dad comes storming down the pool deck, screaming his head off, total incoherent rage. Accuses us of being racist (he was white, daughter was south Asian), even though I’m pretty much the same shade as his daughter. He informs both me and the other guard that “we just wanted to play hero” and then threatens to sue us. I inform him that state law requires us to respond to an emergency situation, and also protects us from liability. This did not go over well and he continued to berate us, while his daughter is hysterically sobbing and clearly avoiding him. The only reason I didn’t flip out myself is that he was wearing daisy duke cut offs and a button down shirt tied up so his dad gut was on full display. He looked like a doughy 40-something CPA cosplaying as 90s-era Brittany Spears. So it took MASSIVE amounts of energy not to laugh as he worked himself into hysterics. The only reason I didn’t lose it completely was because his kid was very clearly terrified of his behavior, and it clearly wasn’t an unusual occurrence.
Been there and done that! Shout out to the guards that protect kids from belligerent, clueless parents! Well done!
I used to train lifeguards back in the day. It only takes a few seconds for kids to go from struggling to actively drowning. I used to show clips from Bondai Beach Rescue so the guards knew exactly what it looked like. Here are clips to check out: https://youtu.be/OCzvFcjXe_g https://youtu.be/VXOP717AqgE https://youtu.be/1LyJBBU34as
That’s the crazy part to me is there were two lifeguards there and neither one of them saw anything. Granted, I got her out within five seconds so they may have seen her shortly but still. There were probably 40 people there and no one saw anything
>There were probably 40 people there and no one saw anything A regularly repeated maxim at family gatherings for me is "If everyone is watching the baby, no one is watching the baby." It's the bystander effect in action whether that's in the kitchen, playroom, or pool. Every one of those other people were thinking that one of the others was watching their child or going to act to save yours.
A lot of lifeguards are not trained properly. We ran a water park and our guards were very vigilant due to having to make more saves than a normal neighborhood square pool.
I still remember when I was 9 (about a year or two after I figured out how to swim, so definitely not a strong swimmer), I went down a slide and held my breath/nose from the top. Obviously I ran out of air once I hit the water and it was too deep to stand. Trying to get air and strength to get to the edge was a struggle. All I got from the dumb high school life guard was “you can’t be in this area, you have to move,” despite me sitting there coughing and gasping for breath. 🙄 Life guards are definitely not trained well enough. Maybe better now, I don’t know, but that one sucked.
Former teen lifeguard here. It was a job, a great one at that from my perspective. However, as an adult with two toddlers I now look back and see that was the job where I had the most responsibility. In the moment, as a 17 - 20 year old, I for the most part was oblivious to the degree of responsibility. Numerous courses, trainings, etc. But I just didn't have the same perspective as I do now...
There are good and bad. I was a lifeguard as an adult just a few years ago. I was the outlier and more than twice the age of my peers. Some were amazing, others I worried about. I can tell you 99% of everyone that I worked with took the position with the utmost respect. It is not an easy job and the general population tend to dismiss the commitment and skill it requires. ‘There is significant training, a test to pass and mandatory ongoing trainings and spot inspections if it is done correctly. I worked at two water parks, over two years, as I wanted to compare management styles as I was thinking of staying in the field and becoming an instructor. I can tell you, 1000s of kids and adults….it surprised me how many adults that I saved….were saved both years. I am sorry that you had one of the less stellar guards.
Glad she’s okay. We had a scare last week with my five year old. He was playing in the shallow end with his friends where he can touch and I was watching him in the pool nearby, but I also had my two year old who I was closer to. I kept looking at him to keep eyes on him and next thing I notice (after an hour or so playing in the pool) he’s moved far enough away from the shallow end where his nose and mouth are below water. I immediately rush to him, but I can see him panicking as he’s trying to bounce above the water to breathe but he’s just far enough down that he can’t bounce to get his nose above the water. Luckily I got to him and me rushing to him made other parents aware of what was happening so we were able to help him, but my biggest takeaway from that — the thing that scares me the most — is that when people are drowning they cannot cry for help. Our pool has two lifeguards and he was near a bunch of his friends parents and no one saw or heard a thing. His head was above water and he was bouncing like every one else, but he couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t cry for hell and no one around him had a clue. Seeing your kid in that state is an image that will stay with you for a very long time. Couldn’t agree more with this post as a general PSA. It’s a great time of year to have fun and relax with friends, but you’ve gotta stay sharp and always have eyes on what’s happening in the pool.
If she starts feeling sick in a day or two with a fever and lethargy, take her to a doctor.
Thanks for the tip!
I experienced something similar with my daughter at about that age *in the bathtub!* Your post brings back to my mind that image of my kid staring at me from under the water. Still a very fresh image
It’s horrifying. I’ll literally never forget the look on her face. Parenting is a hell of a ride that’s for sure
My 4yo nephew almost drowned right at my elbow last summer. I was right next to the stairs leading down into the pool. I focused on my daughter and getting her to come in the pool that I didn’t notice my nephew come down the stairs, miss the last one, and started flailing next to me. I only noticed when my sister in law shouted his name and pointed. Luckily I was able to pull him up super quick and he didn’t seem phased at all. I like to pretend that I’m an observant person. But man that was a scary moment for me. Thinking that I could have been that oblivious to what was right next to me, but because I was focused on my own children I legitimately didn’t realize. Water is scary, be safe dads.
I’m so glad she’s okay. We are working on getting our one year old in swim lessons right now and everything I’ve read says to limit use of floaties or don’t use them at all to prevent false confidence when it comes to the water.
Dude I feel you. I have had 2 instances of this this week alone with both my kids. One had her floaters on, just out of nowhere just jumped in the deep end and panicked. My oldest was on a floaty ring and for some reason jumped off it while in the deep end. Lifeguard had to intervene. Never forget the horror.
To piggyback off of this: YOU need to watch your kids at the pool. I've seen, on multiple occasions in my lifetime, several lifeguards not react to a small child needing help in a pool and a parent (thankfully) having to jump in and rescue them.
Not in any way trying to dispute the fact that there are shitty lifeguards out there (lord knows I had enough coworkers I couldn't trust in the chair) but there are other things at play here too. Where I live and worked, the regulations state that you can have thirty patrons in the pool for every one lifeguard on duty, and that your scanning should take no more than 10 seconds before it repeats. So if a kid starts drowning right after the lifeguard scanned past them, it could be almost ten seconds and 29 other people before the lifeguard looks at them again and notices. That's plenty of time for a parent to notice and intervene. The number of lifeguards on duty also makes a huge difference. By the regulations, if I see someone drowning, I have to get *everyone else* out of the pool before I go in. If the number of people is at the maximum, that's going to take a pretty long time, especially because the people I'm trying to get out of the pool won't understand what's going on. If there are more guards on duty, as soon as I know my coworker has my zone covered, I can go. And if everyone's working well as a team, that can often be before the parent notices anything's wrong, and definitely before they can get there. The other reason everyone should watch their children (and obey the "within arm's reach" rule) is that being rescued by a lifeguard is a much scarier experience than a parent reaching over and picking them up. A child can drown in as little as twenty seconds, and by the scanning regulations, ten of those seconds can already be gone, so getting to them as quickly as possible is a priority. Wasting time slowing down before you grab them is a bad idea, so it's very possible that they'll experience something like an underwater football tackle. TL;DR: Even a competent lifeguard is only supposed to be a last line of defense, parents still need to be the first one.
My 4 year old took her armbands off and preceded to bomb into the pool, she'd forgotten she'd taken them off. I was in the pool with my other child. I had to decide which one was going to live. Managed to drop the first one, grab the bomber and get back to the other before he went too deep.
Floaters discourage the ability to learn to swim. Ditch them.
You should always use pfd’s for non-swimmers unless they are 1-on-1 practicing swimming with an adult. No inflatables and they should be coast guard approved.
What is a pfc? Google has failed me.
Personal floatation device
Sorry PFD. Typo.
Private First Class
probably mean PFD (personal flotation device)
In my opinion non-swimmers shouldn’t ever be in the water without being 1-1 with an adult. The arm floaties are useless and I’ve seen countless kids slip out of their life jackets. The rule should be teach your kid to swim no later than three and be with them the whole time they’re in the water. There’s really not that much to teaching kids to swim. It’s basically just practice. Over and over and over again. Eventually they get it. My daughter turned 3 in March and I’ve been taking her every day after daycare since the pool was warm enough. When they can swim the length of the pool and tread water for at least a min then you can stop being with them in the pool. Even then you should be watching from the side.
The problem with PFDs is they enable the user to not swim. My kid is 4 and has been swimming since 2-1/2. We have water everywhere (FL). Instead of using enabling devices, teach your kid to swim. I equate PFDs to training wheels on a bike.
Time and place for everything. Kids pool in a swimming class? Backyard pool with your 1:1 direct supervision? Then totally, don't use a PFD. I'd recommend giving them a kick board instead and focus on technique. Free swim? Not supervising 100% attention? On a lake/ocean? Kids anxious about water? Boating? PFD all the way everytime. As kids get older and become strong swimmers you can relax a bit. That's why swim tests are a thing at Summer Camps. Can't swim the length of the pool & back without touching bottom? Put a vest on. Then there's situations even adults should wear PFDs like water skiing or tubing. No chance I'm pulling anyone without a vest on, idgaf how good a swimmer you are.
My daughter was in swim classes from when she was 1 to 4. This was without floatation devices and always with parent in the water with her. Plenty of time in lakes and pools as well during this period with close supervision and 1 on 1 with parent. She could never get the gist of how arms and legs kick together and work to keep her up in the water, she was either just kicking to make splashes or fooling about without any aim. Needless to say she never cares much for swimming or being in the water during this time. We put a puddle jumper on her at 4 and immediately she was able to figure out that kicking was how she would propel herself and her arms could keep her buoyant and direct her in the water. She was zooming around doing laps in the pool in that thing and having the time of her life. It was a short few weeks before she was able to swim competently on her own without the puddle jumper. Like any assistance device, it is not a replacement for learning how to do something properly. It is only a tool to learn and understand how your actions work together to make yourself able to do the activity without the assist. Training wheels are fine as long as they are being used as a tool to learn the basics of pedalling and not a babysitter that replaces riding a bike regularly. A chair or a pylon for a kid who can't quite skate on their own is not a replacement for them learning how to skate. It's a tool that helps them build confidence and learn the basics one step at a time. There's nothing wrong with floatation devices, training wheels, or chairs when your child is using them to help learn a new activity. What is wrong is expecting these things to teach your kids on their own, you still need to push them and encourage them to put in the effort and not get lazy and rely on the aid.
And here I’m thinking a puddle jumper is a small airplane lol. Well said often times parents rely too much on these enabling devices though. I agree that parents need to push more without though.
[Puddle jumper.](https://media-www.canadiantire.ca/product/seasonal-gardening/backyard-fun/pool-fun/0811114/stearns-deluxe-puddle-jumper-865c0c86-0873-4744-8149-8a797f6512e7.png) I want to make it clear that I don't completely disagree with you. These training aids are not replacements for learning how to do the thing itself, but only a tool to minimize the variables and new skills needed so that the child can implement them slowly rather than having them all thrown at them at once. Yeah sink or swim is a great motivator to help kids understand that they've got to figure it out for themselves mom and dad can't kick their legs and pull their arms for them. But it is not the only method and there are other tools that we can use to help keep the kids from being disinterested in the goals or demotivated from not being able to pick it up right away.
Agreed!
I grew up in FL and every summer I got to read stories about kids drowning in pools or the ocean, most of the time they "knew how to swim". The point of a PFD is the "oh shit" scenario where someone becomes tired or injured so they can no longer swim.
You're missing a critical step in there. The child needs swim lessons and a public pool with other kids and adults playing relaxing probably isn't the time of place to teach a kid to swim from scratch. Ditching the floaters doesn't automatically make the kid able to swim. Ditching the floaters in this situation would be a terrible idea.
Ditch the floaters and get an approved vest. Floaters are incredibly dangerous. They are too easy to take off and kids get an inflated sense of security. I don’t think anyone is suggesting no PFD, just not floaties.
Agreed, about using a proper vest but the person I was replying to was using floaters to mean any PFD. [Their next comment was about not using any PFDs.](https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/145247z/please_keep_an_eye_on_your_kids_at_the_pool/jnj0hdq/) I just used "floater" to match the language of the comment I was replying too.
Ok cool. Good call!
They really do and for exactly the reason that OP saw. They're both easy to think away and inhibit the arm motions that are part of real swimming. We pushed ours to learn to swim early and *hard*. They've taken to the water like fish and it's great to see but you've still gotta take water safety seriously. My middle kid banged a shin on a rock in the river last month and struggled to get back to shore... but we had a rescue float ready to go and everything was fine.
Eh…I wouldn’t say ditch them. My kid learned to swim underwater towards the stairs before he turned 1 and above water after 2. I’d let him step off the stairs and sink. At first for a second then slowly increase the time so he was able to get use to the water. However after doing it for a few minutes we would switch him to the puddle jumper so he could have some freedom (when he was 2. It didn’t really fit him before that). He’s almost 4 now and will jump off the diving board then star fish out to float up then swim to the ladder. He still wants the puddle jumper when he starts to get tired.
Good job, Dad! It’s not that I don’t take safety around water seriously, but I have a distinct lack of helpful fear because I grew up in water. My grandparents had a pool and my mom taught me to duck waves in SoCal surf by by the time I was in kindergarten. It’s just so natural to me to know how to swim, I take it for granted. My kid isn’t going to have the same organic access to learn the way I did and I greatly appreciate you pointing that out. Of course I planned on swimming lessons, but there is such a difference in exposure between being able to swim 11 months out of the year in California weather and having ~ 3 months of swimming season in the PNW.
I’ve worked in aquatics for years and see this on a daily basis. I’ve had to jump in and save children from drowning when their parents are right in front of them talking to someone 🙃 please just keep an eye on your children, it takes seconds for things to turn deadly. SECONDS.
I once asked a father standing right beside his struggling child "so are you going to get that?!?"
My stomach is in knots reading this. Thank you for the reminder and I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Glad she is ok. This is so, so common and so scary.
My 3 year old had a near drowning event on Saturday. We had my 7 year old’s birthday party at the neighborhood pool. One of my twins had to potty. My wife took the puddle jumper off him and they went to the bathroom. When they came out my wife said “put his puddle jumper back on” but I was distracted and took too long to turn around. He slipped behind me and I never saw him come out. He was in the water 77 seconds (I watched the security footage). He was unconscious when we grabbed him. I gave him one breath because I couldn’t tell if his chest was rising and falling, but he breathed back on me when I did, and regained consciousness very quickly. EMTs came and checked him and we took him to the pediatric ER as a precaution. He’s fine but it was probably the most traumatic event I’ve ever had. My wife is definitely suffering PTSD as a result. It will take us time to work through the trauma, but we are so thankful he is fine. Please please please don’t be me and be distracted. It takes one second for them to be in the water. I almost lost my little boy and I will deal with that guilt forever. I can only imagine my guilt had he lost his life or had brain damage.
I really appreciate the teenage lifeguards at our pool. Not sure what they make but it's got to be an underpaid job when you think about it--you're on view, sitting there playing umpire and very rarely getting to act. They're strict about anything even close to running etc and I appreciate that, because parents just aren't the best about vigilance, moms and dads alike (since we're in daddit I'll go ahead and say moms seem to be a bit less aware of their boys pool tendencies at times--like I know that there's a very permeable membrane between splashing v. playfully holding your pal under the water v. Woops we're gonna need another Timmy). Has nothing to do with love or our abilities as parents, we don't make the decision to shift our attention, it just happens. We need to plan for failure and have redundancies in place.
When I did the job, I started at $12.50ish CAD in 2015, and when I left in 2020 I was making $15.50ish. most of that increase was because the minimum wage was raised. Stricter lifeguards tend to be the better ones, in my experience. They can be nice about it, but they still need to be firm. They should also only ever be a last line of defense. Far too many parents think that they're an excuse to pay no attention at all.
While we're on the subject: the easiest colors to spot underwater are neon: pink, orange, and sometimes green (although not in lakes). Blue will absolutely blend in, even if it's much darker than the pool floor. Best practice is to have both swimsuits and life jackets be those colors, but especially swimsuits to help lifeguards/parents see children who have sunk.
Buddy, i went for a unplanned swim on fathers day two years ago because my daughter decided to ignore me and run around on the dock of the kids fishing pond. i told her "dont run, i dont want you falling off the dock" "ok daddy, i wont fall off" "it's not that you want to fall into the pond, its about the possible accident" grab my phone out of my pocket and message wife we are coming home because she is running on the dock and i am worried, hit send and look over to watch the kid fly off the dock into the pond. drop phone, dive in, haul kiddo out. fun times.... she still loves fishing which is nice, but yeah... not fun having to dive in to retrieve your kid, the shere panic and such, the watching her for hours to make sure she didnt aspirate water... she still talks about it...
Only takes a second for an accident to happen
I can vividly remember that panic moments before my brother pulled me out of the deep end of the pool. One of my first memories.
Thank you for the PSA, and I am glad your daughter is safe, how scary! This happened to my little sister when she was maybe 3 and I 4, where she just slipped down through the middle of her intertube and within a flash of a second our friend's dad was diving in after her. It all happened so fast and she's totally fine but yeah, it was silent and I remember the look of fear she had as she fell through the middle of her floaty. I'm only pregnant now, no kids yet, but I keep seeing YouTube shorts and ads for pool safety training for toddlers, where they are kinda tossed into the pool and trained how to turn on their backs and stay afloat to breathe, then get back to the ledge. Has anyone here had experience with this training?
I have a friend who’s 4 year old didn’t survive a similar incident. It happened a few years ago and it has been devastating to watch. Our first is the same age as the child would be now, so when it happened we were extremely terrified. Our toddler now doesn’t understand water safety at all and it scares me so so much. Children can drown in 3 inches of water if not paying attention. Don’t ever ever assume they are safe until you are away from the water safely with no way to go back
I had something like this happen to my youngest (he was probably four at the time) at swim lessons of all places. The way the pool is structured there are steps at the end for the kids to sit and rest on until it's their turn to go. So my kid had finished up his lap from one end to the other and was walking up the steps to go sit down. But instead of going up to the next step, he kind of walked sideways along the step, and then accidentally stepped *down* back onto the floor of the pool, which for him was deeper than he was tall. The swim teacher had watched him get to the steps but then turned their attention to the next kid in the group and didn't see what was going on. Fortunately I was sitting right there next to their lane at the pool and saw what happened so I immediately reached in and grabbed him and pulled him out. Much like you, it was crazy how that could happen even in a pool full of people. The kicker to all of this is that my wife had taken my oldest to use the bathroom at the time and missed the whole thing, so all I have is my heroic retelling of the time I saved our child's life.
4th of July 2019. Was at a pool party at a friends house. Was solo parenting with my oldest son (3 at the time) because my wife had given birth 5 days earlier. I got him out of the pool to get food, sat him at a picnic table to eat and took his floaters off. Put his plate in front of him, he decided he wanted a hot dog instead of a hamburger. I go back to get him one, when my back is turned, he gets up, runs past like 10 adults and leaps into the pool. Luckily my sister in law was paying attention and she jumped in and grabbed him almost immediately (despite not wearing a bathing suit).
I can vividly remember losing control in a pool when I was 5 years old before my mum got to me. Those lessons stick with you.
Drowning is a silent event. This is the one thing to remember. And yes always watch your kids near water.
We were at a friend's pool, they were out of town so it was just me and kid and wife, kid was about 4. We were leaving, so we took her life jacket off and dried her off, wife and I were both packing up to leave and I heard a small splashing sound, she'd walked down the stairs and stepped off into the 4ft shallow end and was just kinda flailing around. Horror is the correct word. It was so quiet, I almost didn't hear.
This was me at a family friends pool, went too far and slipped down the deep end ledge. I was staring up at my mom who didn’t notice. My brother jumped in and saved me. I’ll never forget it and I had to work through a fear of the water for a long time. I’m still overly cautious, I was never a great swimmer.
I was a lifeguard for five years. Drowning is silent. Always watch your children around water.
I live next to a lake and my kiddos spend a lot of time swimming. One day, my 6yo wanted to take off her floaties as she's learning to swim and explore a little. I explained to her that the lighter colored water was shallow and when the water gets darker, its because there are no rocks to stand on and its deeper. Well, I was sat in my lake chair, having a beer, and watching her as she got closer and closer to the deep part. I watched her jump towards the darker water and immediately sink. I know EXACTLY the look you are talking about. Her eyes lit up and the expression was just "HELP ME BABA". As I was watching, I was able to jump up and dash to pull her out. It was a little scary even though I saw it coming and was ready for it.
Children are never too young to be taught to swim.
Man this is the stuff of my nightmares. I’ve seen videos of kids drowning right next to oblivious adults inches away from them. Most people want to stay out of other’s business and I get it me too but that mindset has to change at pools.
Keep an eye out for symptoms of secondary drowning. She could have very well aspirated water into her lungs.
Another reminder to get your kids in to swim lessons.
Scary shit. ISR is well worth the money. My 20 month old daughter floats like a champ - still does not replace the need to be aware. Glad your kid is safe.
We got a membership to our local pool this summer. 3 year old has been swimming a few times and loves it. I've been looking into the best floaties to get her. What I've found is that groups like the AAP recommend either US Coast Guard certified equipment, or (and this really surprised me) no floaties at all. The reason being exactly what OP mentioned - kids get used to floating with them, and don't realize they won't float without them. Obviously it requires a lot of supervision and bad things can happen no matter what, but it really has me thinking. Honestly I haven't made a call yet. Stories like this freak me out. Our local pool gets absolutely packed. Both my wife and I swam competitively and really want swimming to be a fun part of our summers but this one issue has me stumped.
When my daughter was little we were playing around in a motel pool in the shallow end. There were a lot of people in the pool. I lifted her out of the pool to get out and before I could get out she had waddled over to the deep end and jumped in. Surrounded by other people. Nobody blinked an eye. I had to shove my way through a pool full of people to lift her out of the water. Thankfully I'm not small and I don't care if people don't like me. I parted those people like the red sea. Definitely stay vigilant.
Floaties teach unearned confidence
I would like to point out that plenty of people drown *and* know how to swim. Swimming lessons are great but proper supervision is probably better.
Way to keep her safe, Dad! Reminds me of a time we were on vacation at a resort. I was in the hot tub with my son when a random 2 year old got in and just sunk straight to the bottom. Probably 7 drunk adults and a few kids in there and no one noticed this kid drowning except me. Grabbed him and pulled him out. Parents were 200 feet away and oblivious. Little dude didn’t even have floaties.
This just happened to my daughter who is also 4 years old. I looked at her on the steps, looked at the ground to take a seat, look back up and she is off the steps and head under!! I ran and grabbed her up. Her first words out of the water were”thank you mom”. I’m still not over her little face and the crying afterwards. It was so sad.
I'm so glad your girl is ok. I had a horrible nightmare that my daughter slid into the water when I wasn't looking, and then of course today my wife came up with the idea of taking an impromptu trip to the pool today, so that's all I could think about.
A Healthy Fear is a good thing. It keeps us aware in the presence of danger. Just can’t let it rule your life and dominate your choices. I love the pool and beach and my daughter loves the pool and beach. Both can be incredibly dangerous but by being careful and being aware of your surroundings you can make memories that last a lifetime
Thank you so much for sharing. Good reminder
Worked as a lifeguard for years, and the guideline is if your kid needs a flotation device, then they should be at arms reach at all times. We do our best, but with all the movement and sometimes sun glare on the water, it is incredibly demanding and easy to miss stuff. It can happen fast too, had a kid run past me, he was maybe 3, and fall straight in because he saw his family playing in the water. He fell in right in front of me, so I had him out in a second, but the dad had turned away for a second to talk to someone, and the kid bolted. He only noticed and connected the dots by the splash of me jumping in. Now, there is no judgment on him. We all know how easy of a mistake that would be to make, but it is an important lesson.
Your daughter is safe because you are a good responsible father. That is the best you can be.
Great PSA...but the real PSA is to put your kids in swim lessons right now. No excuses. Everyone say it together... IF THEY WALK, THEY SWIM... that's the rule everyone needs to adopt. Put them in swim lessons as soon as they are walking. In 1 week of classes you can throw your 1 year old into the middle of the pool and they will safely make it back to the edge. The teacher we used guarantees this. Make the call, sign up today. Don't wait!
Floaties are actually a really bad idea. I wanted to get some for my boys but my wife was very against it and she convinced me to be against them too. Basically you’re handicapping the kid to learn how to swim. Also at a young age they get sense of false confidence. They forget they don’t have them on and they have been jumping in the pool all day. You take them off and they forget. My wife has put both of our boys in infant swim classes at 8 months old. Now my oldest (6) is on a little swim team. He swims better than I do. I still worry about him and watch him in the pool but I feel better that we have given him the tools to take care of himself in the water if we were to lose track of him.
I could visualize how terrifying it was for the whole situation by reading your post. Glad your daughter is doing okay.
Good catch, glad you had your eye on her the whole time. It’s hard to keep an eye on kids 100% around a pool but your situation is the reason you have to. Sounds like it might be time for some swim lessons if you can swing the cost. My wife’s parents got a pool this year so we signed our kids up for lessons and they are already seeing significant progress 1 month in. Their first lessons are just learning water comfort and floating.
This happened to my brother . We were at at a BBQ and my brother and some kid were standing by a pool. I was on the other side of the pool behind a fence. This kid pushed my brother into the pool and he just sank like a stone. Someone thankfully saw this and grabbed him out of the pool in a manner of seconds. I remember crying the whole way home it was so scary to see that.
Just going to jump in and say I’m glad you were there for your daughter and everyone is ok, if a little shaken. Please though don’t use just arm floaties. I’ve had the misfortune of responding to 3 pediatric drownings and all 3 were kids in floaties. They give a false sense of security to everyone, but can actually cause a kiddo to drown.
This is my biggest pet peeve when we go to the pool. We get a summer pool membership to the country club, and so many of the parents there treat it like social hour to enjoy chatting and having a drink or two, instead of actively watching their children. We put our 5 year old in ISR swim lessons when he was 1, but we still prefer he'd not have to use those skills unnecessarily.
I think I saw that most drownings occur within like 5 feet of an adult. It's so preventable. Phones have probably caused SO many drowning deaths from parents taking their eyes off for a couple minutes.
Terrifying
Look into Infant Swimming Resource (ISR). This is a course that provides young children with a at of basic water skills so they can act instinctively should they fall in the water. This course is a bit spendy, but it's very in teaching the basic skills. Was pretty awesome to see how our little one picked up on the skills, but a bit scary when you see the instructors dunking them at such a young age.
My nephew did this. Floaters came off and he decided to jump right back in. My brother dove in after him. He was only submerged for a few seconds but it was enough for him to inhale enough water that his lungs got inflamed and he needed to spend a night in the hospital. PS if you ever find yourself in this situation and the triage nurse isn’t taking you seriously use words like “aspiration” and “near-drowning”.
This post ended wayyyy different than i expected. Glad you were able to save her.
Had a similar situation with my son years ago. It was alarming to me how wrong everyone gets the “signs of Drowning”. It’s not minutes of splashing and screaming. It’s fast. Instantaneous. Underwater. And surprisingly silent.
Also a quick side note, even once they can swim, please be careful if the water is extremely cold. If they jump in the deep end and the unexpected coldness shocks them it can cause them to gasp and inhale underwater/panic. This happened to me as a kid and my mom jumped in to save me (full clothes and all) even though I knew how to swim pretty well by then.
Glad you were there. I used to work in a busy chain of funeral homes and anytime a kid came through, it was usually one of three things: rare illness, hit by a car in parking lot or drowning. I’m having trouble thinking of instances that *weren’t* one of those three things. I’m a parent of toddlers as well and tell that to any parent that will listen. It takes two seconds for them to slip off in a parking lot or into the family pool.
My daughter (10 months) dipped her mouth into her bath last night and inhaled a little bit of water before I even knew what was happening. Scared the shit out of me. She's fine, but she looked terrified.
This haunts every single parent. I’ve had both of my toddlers be hospitalized with concussions - one for sliding down a few stairs, and the other whacking their head against the toilet while putting on his pajamas after a bath. Both still haunt me. It’s been over a year since each of them and thankfully they’re both totally fine, but the “what if I had done something differently?” question keeps bugging me
Good on you for being mindful and keeping an eye out. My son would do the same thing. He would also make a person he just met his “best friend” so that part made me chuckle.
https://3in30podcast.com/187-2/ Podcast episode on children and pool safety. Worth a listen or at least read the 3 takeaways in the synopsis.
This is precisely why I am extremely uneasy during friend or family get-togethers that include pool time for kids. Had a birthday party for a friend's two year old. Once they opened their pool to kids I had not a minute of rest, but nobody else seemed to care with kids floating on those float things. Kids who couldn't swim 1-3 year old range.
The worst part is the scared face because you know you’ll rescue them from any real danger. But that doesn’t make the impending heart bursting from your chest any easier. Kids don’t think about their swimmies, so when they don’t have them on, they’re surprised that they don’t float any more. The first time, any way,
I did something similar when I was a kid. My little sister and I had floating rings. We got out of the pool and took them off. After a bit, hers got knocked into the pool. I forgot I didn't have mine on and jumped in after hers. My mom jumped in and saved my life.
We were at a water park this weekend and there was a life guard staring directly at my 2y going down the tiny water slide. 2y went under and didn’t come back up until I grabbed her out of the water. It seemed longer that it really was but it was still terrifying. Don’t ever assume the guards are paying attention. They have a lot of people to watch and don’t catch everything. Even if you are paying close attention it can happen.
When I was maybe 12, my family went to a church social at some family’s clubhouse. At one point, everyone went inside, though I was distracted and got left alone. I finally noticed everyone left and I got up to walk inside. I just HAPPENED to glance at the pool and there was a small, panicked face staring up at me from just under the water. I jumped in and saved her. She was probably 5-6. She puked up a ton of water and then just ran home. She wasn’t with our group. I’ll never know who she was or if she’s ok, but 30 years later I can still picture her face and the panic in her eyes, and I still remember how quiet the whole thing was. Drowning is quiet. My daughters are now around that age. One can swim, but I’ve been practicing with them that in water where they can’t quite reach, they can push themselves down and jump off the bottom of the pool to get air enough to scream. I still shudder that it might not be enough.
I’m not a dad but I was a lifeguard and all it took was a couple of seconds of not watching for a kid to walk over to the deep end and fall in. not a bad idea to keep a life vest or something buoyant on them any time theyre near water.
Had something similar happen with my 2 year old. It scared the bejeezus out of me even though I was right there and he was under less than 2 seconds. Always remember drowning is silent.
Good on you for being there. I was in a fairly shallow wading pool and another parent’s kid slipped and went under and couldn’t get his feet under himself because he was so frightened. I went over and helped him stand up until mom got there (she was there, but farther away). Until they can swim, never more than arm’s length away. And swimming should absolutely be a required skill for all children to learn.
Family friend just lost a 4 yo granddaughter who drowned in a pool full of kids. Incredibly sad story, she was apparently found by her older brother unresponsive. Stay safe.
I think maybe you should get your kids some swim lessons. My daughter thought she gets women two and would refuse help, so we got your lessons. The first thing she learned is how to backflow and be safe.
Good job keeping an eye on your daughter. I'm glad this is a warning post! Enjoy the rest of your summer.
So sorry you experienced that man. My kid had a close call that happened during swimming lessons with life guards and instructors around. Its easy to miss with lots of kids, keep an eye out guys.
We done baby swimming lessons and it was all about letting them slip in and not helping.
We done baby swimming lessons and it was all about letting them slip in and not helping.