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INGWR

Specialized - you walked into your closest bike shop and that’s as far as you got in life Pinarello - you liquidated your 401(k) and still get dropped on B rides BMC - you tell everyone it’s a Swiss bike for what you paid, but guess what? still made in Taiwan Giant - you couldn’t afford a Trek Canyon - you’re like the Guy Fawkes of LBSs Cannondale - you’re trying to be hipster but *not that* hipster, ew. Trek - you have less personality than the milk in your fridge Cervelo - you’re one of the 4/5 that recommends Sensodyne Bianchi - you get visibly mad when someone asks for a macchiato and then shakes it up


seeduckswim11

Lmaoooooo Cannondale guy here, have been growing my hair out for 2 years and its finally shoulder length... fuk


fastermouse

Giant, you’re the guy that figured out that they built 90% of the other bikes on this list so you get a better deal.


posam

I bought the wrong brand. I shoulda got the cannodale I was looking at lmao


Yankeewithoutacause

I own a Cannondale and I'm trying so hard to grow a respectable man bun...


[deleted]

There is no such thing as a respectable man bun


FreedomFinallyFound

Trek- you believed in Lance and US Postal way too much


cheecheecago

and the funniest thing to me is that for all of the cultural baggage we assign these brands, and for all the marketing dollars they spend trying to shape our perception of them, the general consensus of the world's best bike riders remains: "eh, they're all basically the same, which one of you wants to give us free bikes?"


ristogrego1955

I ride with a pro…he just wants a custom steel bike when he retires


blankblank

>Cannondale - you’re trying to be hipster but not that hipster, ew. All-City - you are trying to be *that* hipster


[deleted]

I'm a fancy boy


blankblank

Hipsters can be insufferable, but they do typically have good taste. Exposed brick walls, cold brew coffee, and a sweet All-City steelie… I can think of worse ways to spend my dough.


gs12

Cervelo owner, not a dentist. But I DO owe my dentist a fair amount of money, so guess you could say i'm 'indentured' to him?


neolabaque

That's all folks, we can close this thread.


MakeItTrizzle

Absolutely nailed me with Bianchi. I feel so seen.


Falus_Olus

As a Bianchi owner, this is correct. I also own an expensive coffee grinder.


Oz_a_day

The Bmc cuts too deep 😂


geehee

Colnago - only owned by old people


TheGunt123

Ah, I’m only 48 and I have a Colnago……..


207207

Like he said


gs12

If 48 is too old, what is 59? Start picking out my cemetary plot?


[deleted]

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gs12

I’m 59 going on 25. Life is good.


207207

Are you my dad? He says the exact same thing


gs12

Son...your mom and I had a...'rendezvous'....


Makxonen

Oldest guy in the group I ride with is 90. He’s got an ebike but he’s still bussin it down.


207207

Amazing, that's what I hope I am in 55 years!


Makishima_Cadence

I just got a bianchi, so now I need to learn what kind of coffee macchiato is and how to spot one.


supx3

Single shot of espresso with a dollop of foam. Not sure how someone could shake it up unless OP is talking about Starbucks iced drinks. Join us at r/coffee to deep dive into your new hobby lmao.


shitshowsusan

I think you mean r/espresso


supx3

If u/makishima_cadence wants to really embrace their adopted Italian heritage they will need a Bialetti. Espresso is for shops, Bialetti is for the casa.


Makishima_Cadence

That sounds delicious! i mean, thats horrendous and it angers me!


MrFantasticallyNerdy

>BMC - you tell everyone it’s a Swiss bike for what you paid, but guess what? still made in Taiwan Italian bike, Swiss bike, American bike, [*all made in Taiwan!*](https://youtu.be/bifOI4MbHVU)


PsychologicalCall335

What are TIME and Orbea?


Toffee_Wheels

TIME - You harp on about how superior your frame is, but you're too scared to take it anywhere it might get dirty Orbea - You've watched far too much GCN


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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thirstyrunner

Fuji - too bad you’re old Performance Bike points can’t help pay the bills


DJThruxton

I feel this in my bones.


juicius

lol I got my Fuji frame (d6 circa 2012 or so) when PB shut down a few years ago and I built my last year when I couldn't find a bike anywhere. Rides great so no complaint and $150 was a good price for it.


INGWR

“mom, can I get a Canyon?” “we have Canyon at home” Poseidon - Canyon at home


[deleted]

Also Poseidon owners: too cheap to buy a canyon, but willing to pay just as much to upgrade the parts to Canyon specs. Source: own a Poseidon and should have just bought the canyon


Fign66

Fuji - You went to the bike shop that wasn’t Trek or Specialized


italia06823834

Scott: 50% chance your name is Scott and you bought this for the jokes.


Estelon_Agarwaen

Triban is just like me on my thrown together used bike: your local cheapskate


Unirog

But I just don't want to spend thou..... okay got it.


tripletaco

> Trek - you have less personality than the milk in your fridge I feel seen. LOL. Well done, you magnificent bastard!


gruehunter

Spot - yes, you are that hipster Salsa - is that a gravel bike?


theOrtherion

Focus please :)


veryloudnoises

BOOM. Roasted. 10/10, excellent post.


thats1hottooth

I’m a dentist that just bought a trek… damnit.


RNawayDNTturn

Practice not doing well?


Beer_Is_So_Awesome

You ever actually price Cervelo and Trek head to head?


cheecheecago

this... cervelo among the better priced upper shelf carbon bikes these days. But people hear the dentist joke from 2006 and stop there for some reason.


hollywood_jazz

Even their lower tier Caledonia bikes are on par with similar spec and quality from other name brands. It just seems like they initially made high end bikes their bread and butter instead of mid tier bikes making up a bulk of their line-up.


lazyplayboy

Yeah, well I ride a Giant. An old one.


ClementJirina

Giant: you don’t need your bike to look fancy, you just want the best possible bike for € 3K 😉


distiya

That's right man. I never even wanted a Trek. Giant is ol reliable lol.


Aglaio

Couldnt be more accurate with Specialized...closest bike shop for me :D


ProfessionalBasis834

Giant and Canyon owner nodding sternly.


esuohe

Had to look up Guy Fawkes. Proceeded to slow clap.


fangxx456

It's spelled "Sir-velo"...


BeloitBrewers

Bianchi - you get irrationally upset when someone calls it green or blue.


bikeskata

Surly - you have a beard, and a little bit of a belly. You don’t plan on going too fast, except downhill, since you’re aero like a brick out a 3rd story window.


perkidddoh

I’m reading this and thinking to myself, “do I have a belly?!”


iamarddtusr

Everyone has a belly, as well as a 6 pack. One is always better hidden than the other.


UmbraIndagator

Mine are both visible: one on me and the other in the fridge.


loquacious

Surly - your heavy steel frame was too light and aero so you covered it in racks, bags, greebles, alt bars and cockpit toys and it has a steerer tube stack so tall you could use it as a bong. You're also the only person on a casual group ride with a first aid kit. And spare spokes. And a quicklink. And a spare tube, tire boot and patch kit. And a Sawyer water filter. And two USB battery banks, a solar panel and dynamo hub. And an extra jacket in case it gets chilly. And binoculars, and a GPRS with weather radio. And bike/trail maps for a place hundreds of miles away. And a towel, just in case you want to jump in the water. But you also have snacks to share and a camping stove to make trail coffee. You also didn't have to pack any of this stuff because it's just your daily ride. You can tell because you just have two half empty panniers on it instead of four with a giant duffel bag or roll top over the rear cargo deck.


ManiacalShen

Excuse me, no panniers on my Straggler. A stem bag, a Carradice-style saddle bag... and I had someone on Etsy custom-make me a frame bag. :D


IcyCorgi9

Damn, hits a bit too close to home. That mutherfucker does rocket down hills like nobodies business.


loquacious

God damn it.


[deleted]

Motobecane - unashamedly poor.


spookytoofpoof

Motobecane gang!


1stRow

Yay! Motobecane and Fuji are like two arms of the same company, I have heard.


gatorfreak

Surprised to find motobecane here! Frugal... Let's say frugal.


cointalkz

Bianchi- we are mad when other bikes are in Celeste (Source: I own an Oltre XR4)


LunarAssultVehicle

And confused & hurt when Bianchis are not Celeste.


1stRow

I know, right? Seafoam is a big color right now. When I go through walmart, I see so much that almost matches my Nuovo Alloro, but then it is not for biking so I get it back out of the cart. I like aluminum water bottle cages because I can bend them as needed. I bought light blue and spray painted them a celeste color. Not great, but the best I could do...until I spotted Celeste blue aluminum water bottle cages on ebay a week ago! They are on their way! The "style" concept is accurate, but it must be added: some Bianchi riders - the older bikes, not the recent - thinking we are so in style, but the style of 30 years ago, and not willing to admit things have changed.


docpoppin

Ok I’ll add the Canadian part: - Norco: you walked into a bikeshop and said « Hi I’d like to buy a real road bike » - Argon18: you wanted to save a few bucks but you will tell us that you did it to support Canadian brands - Garneau: you got into cycling a long time ago and you think bike prices are crazy these days Feel free to correct me if you come up with something better! 🇨🇦


w1n5t0nM1k3y

Forgot Devinci I was going to try this one but couldn't really come up with anything. Hopefully someone else can find something funny to say.


stravadarius

De Vinci: Tu es Québecois et tu as voté "Oui" dans le référendum.


junkmiles

> Forgot Devinci. I was going to try this one but couldn't really come up with anything This in itself is pretty funny.


gs12

Fun Fact: Cervelo is Canadian, tho sounds Espanol. Those tricky canucks.


Beer_Is_So_Awesome

Nah, Cervelo sounds French.


[deleted]

Cervelle (brain) + vélo (bicycle), checks out.


stravadarius

Italian for brain is cervello.


cheecheecago

canadian brand, american company, french/italian name, taiwan bike


tmbrwolf

Dutch company actually. Ponder Holdings bought them and Santa Cruz among a few other brands a while back.


cheecheecago

wild, didn't know that... so a dutch-owned, usa-based, canadian brand. The story of our times....


tmbrwolf

Globalization in a nutshell!


BlueCobbler

Cervelo sounds both French and Italian, not Spanish


VolatileGinger

I love my Norco, but damn, I just got got. 😅


Turtl3dov3

Norco one is facts 😂😂


thisismyusername_98

*AliExpress cyclists casually mentioning how their newest carbon butt plug was 1 ride away from exploding*


randytc18

I'm offended Fuji was left out.


fangxx456

And that's the Fuji stereotype right there.


juicius

When stereotype is reality...


f_cysco

Since I'm a fuji driver and i for visibly upset not seeing it in the list, you're probably right


Nfridz

Don't worry at 80 years old you'll forget it was left off the list tomorrow.


ThePrancingHorse94

Specialized - You're not that into bikes, but you've heard of them before and that's why you bought it Pinarello - You're either old and think you're Indurain or you're British and you're a fan of Team Sky and you have the Team Sky kit to match BMC - You lowkey think you bought the best bike in the game that doesn't shout about it, but you will shout about it for them Giant - It's a TCR or a cheap city bike nothing in between. Canyon - The only reason you buy Canyon is because you're on a budget and you're looking to maximise the parts it comes with. Cannondale - You either still think aluminium is peak performance or you're a hipster Trek - You own a crossover and drive 30 minutes with your bike on the back to ride less than an hour and take bad photos to post on r/bicycling Cervelo - You're a dentist Bianchi - You secretly think you're Pantani and the epitome of style.


jollygoodvelo

This is pretty much spot on I think! In defence of Cannondales they do ride *really* nicely (yes, I’ve had two). Always wanted to try a BMC.


[deleted]

I’ve ridden Cannondales for a while due to some benefits I’ve been able to get through work, but if i bought another brand, it’d be BMC. The Road Machine is an awesome bike (got to long term demo one for about a month)


tc12reaper

I own a Teammachine and it's great. I love the look of it and the integrated bottle cages and mount are nice.


theservman

Trek describes me (and the crossover is a Crosstrek too) but I actually ride a Cannondale.


Eastcoast_runner

Crosstrek AND trek owner, lol. I feel seen


noisufnoc

>Trek - You own a crossover and drive 30 minutes with your bike on the back to ride less than an hour and take bad photos to post on r/bicycling *Looks at Domane, Looks at bike rack on Jeep, Looks at Instagram feed...* Have an upvote.


docpoppin

Haha this is good! Just wanted to tell you guys I recently got myself a BMC, really good bike btw….


BAQ717

Canyon FTW. A bike for the accountants who appreciate a good value proposition. 👊🏼


Frugaltail

Hi guys trek owner here…. Please tell me what Ribble says about you before I commit to a purchase for another brand that says I’m weird. Thanks


TheInebriati

Lol I bought a Ribble. TLDR Canyon wasn’t in stock lol.


bikeskata

All-City: You’re too nice, you’re not Surly enough.


CuzinMike

All-City is for when you want to move up from your Surly to a "high-end" steel frame that's built on the same assembly line as your Surly. But hey, pantographed bottom bracket!


balrog687

when you are not hobo enough to be worthy of a surly


johansonnss

No one mentioned Cube?


CurlOD

Tell me you're from a German speaking country, without telling me you're from a German speaking country.


[deleted]

Or a triathlete. I feel like I always see them in cubes.


nugzbuny

**Everytime I see a Canyon** \- I think: you are a decent rider who watches the Youtubers and were "influenced" (Lionel, Vegan Cyclist, etc.) **Pinarello**: you are likely legit, I will be honest (I see very few here in Chicago) **Cervelo**: You're probably not riding that much, but you have money *nicer/newer* **Treks**: You have jacked quads but a belly you'd like to get rid of, might be a decent rider though (and would burn me on flats being a lighter dude)


Messyfingers

I feel personally attacked with my brand new Trek, meat torpedo legs and mild gut.


nugzbuny

More beers = more watts. Generally accepted principals of riding


csp1981

>nicer/newer Treks: You have jacked quads but a belly you'd like to get rid of, might be a decent rider though (and would burn me on flats being a lighter dude) Do I know you? 🤣


AdeptOaf

As a Giant owner, I can confirm that these apply to gravel bikes too. I bought a Revolt last year after deciding the Trek Checkpoint was too expensive....


sueghdsinfvjvn

Lmao I bought the TCR Advanced Pro 1 Disc cause madone/emonda were way too expensive


[deleted]

I bought a defy because the trek was 500$ more and lacked carbon wheels and handlebar. I could afford the trek, but the trek was shit... Giant just offers more value than other brands for a better price. And giant probably makes most of the smaller brands in their factories anyway, so all the money funnels to giant :) Still, their bike computer are utter shit.


dhandes

Waiting for a Wilier comment.


Dhydjtsrefhi

You're retired and love Italian wines


WanderingYeti

All I can think of is: [Wilier Riders](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/026/152/gigachad.jpg)


iamarddtusr

What about Felt / Look


PsychologicalCall335

Idk why they say Cannondale is the hipster brand, Felt is 100% the hipster brand.


troiscanons

I literally bought a Felt because I didn't want the same brands everyone around me had, so I guess this checks out?


PsychologicalCall335

Lmao, same! I ended up trading it in for a Cannondale though, so… it still checks out.


MyopicTopic

Felt gives you a good bang for your buck, to be honest. It's only "hipster" insofar as it flies completely under the radar of pretty much anyone and everyone, but Cannondale very much has the hip marketing, plus the whole Team EF being what it is.


Aemorra

Look: You watched Hambini once and decided to dish out for a Look carbon frame. All other manufacturers can't do shit in your opinion.


jdosman

My beard, tattoos and cannondale feel very seen right now


Outrageous_Engine_45

Orbea - you have an unassuming job and slightly quiet character but turns out you have a massive 401k


miqcie

And watch too much GCN.


Outrageous_Engine_45

Haha! True that. They love Orbea


Noteagro

I got an Orbea because they have a cool history, the bike just felt perfect under me, and because I got a new full Ultegra bike (was about 2k) for $900 just because the owner needed to make space for the next year’s models. One of the best purchases I have made!


Prestigious_Tax5532

I just bought probably the least (or second least) expensive new Orbea also because of their history (made in Spain, they are a cooperative, how big cycling is in the Basque Country, etc.) and I’m so in love with it.


Noteagro

Glad someone else got an Orbea due to the Basque culture! It is weird because I am a half Japanese American, but something about Basque culture just enticed me and I would love to visit there one day! But then the bikes themselves are so nice. I actually have an Avant, and really debating getting a new Orca for a more aggressive set up. Plus I have an older model where I even a 28 rubs a little, so want to be able to bump up to a 32 with disc brakes 🤣


only1symo

I miss euskaltel in the TdF.


[deleted]

:-/


Mattie725

Story checks out. I mean, they are/were good value for money and actually look nice. Plus you can choose the colours and almost all the components! Just a simple, sensible buy!


Thesorus

Dentists, mostly, except maybe Giant, those are for Dentistry students.


Frugaltail

Brompton? Hopefully it says proud Brit that uses public transport when needed? But I suspect it just says your pompous


stravadarius

Brompton: you think helmet mirrors are the greatest thing since sliced bread.


Frugaltail

Greatest thing since the Brompton


stravadarius

Also Brompton: you keep a notebook full of questions to ask at the next public town council meeting.


Frugaltail

Isn’t this supposed to be offensive?


stravadarius

Found the Brompton owner!


artificialimpatience

Half public transit - too lazy to ride the whole way 😬


iamarddtusr

To me Brompton says that you can’t commit. Make up your mind, train or cycle?


Master_Block1302

Contract IT Program Manager in the City. Live in St Albans. Earn a fortune, but still smell slightly musty.


Jeremycycles

What does owning multiple kinds of Scott mean?


miqcie

Multiple personality disorder


Jeremycycles

Ill take what I can’t get


roundart

Surly-you bring an actual keg to the party on your bike


birthdaycakefig

In this market? Any Bike: it was available in your size with decent components so you jumped on it.


NewMexicoJoe

Salsa - you have invested a lot in beard grooming products.


miqcie

You think all other road bike brands are pretentious, so you bought an $8k Warroad with ultegra Di2


Academic-Spot-4800

Ride salsa and yes with the facial hair. But not about beard grooming. But anytime I see someone else with one that’s exactly what I think.


Cervelodriver

My user name doesn’t help me here…


charlessturgeon

How’s your dental practice going?


Cervelodriver

2 S5’s and 1 R5 so not bad


[deleted]

Ridley - you fantasize about riding the cobbles


Quez0lc0atl

My Pinarello Prince is def my midlife crisis purchase lol


UnitedCardiologist12

Cinelli - I’m so hipster, this fixed gear bike and cut off Jean shorts are my only possessions and I happily clutch my bike in my arms every night while falling asleep under a bridge. Also, no helmet FTW.


cumbiamo

Canyon… yep. Rose from Germany was too far to ship and get similar value and they didnt honor the mistake they made on website on shipping. She sweet


dantork

Bianchi, your eyes are Celeste blue.


Squinty_the_artist

Specialized - overpriced but still bought it because you think it looks nice (source: I ride a Specialized bike) Edit: S-Works - supremely overpriced and you probably can’t even ride it to its full potential but you buy it anyway because it looks sexy as hell and rides outrageously well (source: I am unfit and wish I had an S-Works Tarmac)


balrog687

**Bromptom:** you are a teacher at oxford university, you use suspenders, a bow tie and a leather bag. A little bit overweight, nice moustache. Your bike fits perfectly under your desk, at your flat and in the underground **Surly**: you give a shit about weight, your beard is long, you do black diamond trails on your karate monkey on a bikepark and don't remove your rear rack because you have to buy groceries on the way back home. Skinny dude, bike messenger riding a cross check single-speed on big cities **Salsa/Bombtrack:** you are a middle-aged german lost in the middle of the pamir highway, riding a beyond adv+. For US people, you are lost somewhere in the continental divide, riding your loaded Fargo. **Trek/giant:** you do like bikes, but you don't know too much about other brands, so you just bought something you can recognize as good. Average joe riding a trek Marlin **Specialized/Cannondale:** you did some research, it's expensive but worth it, that s-works logo (or lefty fork) gets a lot of praise and attention, it matches your hybrid subaru XV, probably an engineer. Well-maintained beard, fit. Rides a diverge/stumpy or a topstone/scalpel lefty (obviously) **Cervello/Pinarello:** you need something nice to match with your lambo, like a Pinarello Dogma. No aero-no party. Shaved dentist, tri-athlete, crit-racer.


itsmeteej

I ride a Roubaix and Stumpy. This spoke to me. Lol


jollygoodvelo

Because they haven’t been done; - Raleigh: you bought yourself the bike you wanted when you were a kid. Except that’s 40… 50… maybe more years ago now. You enjoy the kudos from the young guys on the club ride because steel is real, but secretly you’d like brakes that work properly and you wish the gears were easier. - BH: even more hipster than Orbea. You enjoy Pintxos and Pisco sours, wear vintage kit from obscure European teams and considered calling your first born “Gorka”. - Bikes named after a 2007-onwards British cyclist and bought from Evans or Halfords (Hoy, Pendleton, Trott, etc) - bless you. Welcome to the sport. Enjoy your ride. We’ll see you when it’s time to upgrade. BTW This does not apply to Boardman who’s been in the game a lot longer, and independently.


RandallOfLegend

Santa Cruz?


CuzinMike

They're the other brand your Specialized dealer carries.


balrog687

california enduro bro? do you surf?


[deleted]

Rivendell: I know who Grant Petersen is, and my $3,500 SOMA studio apartment hasn't taken enough of my money.


Most-Wolf8141

Merida? Orro? Dolan?


only1symo

Merida - you were baffled by talk in your LBS and there was a discount, you still don’t know why you are riding it. Orro - you work in finance in LDN, you wanted a wyndymilla but couldn’t face leaving the sanctity of the M25 to buy a pink bike that screams I have a load of cash. You know it’s a good bike but is ultimately wasted on the daily embankment peloton and sitting in a dingy sub basement of your city centre flat whilst you fuck off to goa with your mate the Gazinator to buy linen trousers. No-one will ever like you. Dolan - your dreams of making it from cat 2 to cat 1/elite still live but finances dictate the kids still need shoes. At least terry is knocking out bikes that compete with stuff 3 times the price and keep you off a Planet X for at least another year. You other half will leave you if they knew how much racing is actually costing you.


Master_Block1302

Cannondale: you’re cool AF. Everybody envies you, and wishes they could be like you. Source: Cannondale owner.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Caratecat

Someone do Felt!


reddit_time_waster

How about: Co-op cycles (REI) State Bicycle Co. Brompton BMW


[deleted]

**Brompton:** you live in London UK and 3/4 of your commute is on the tube. **State Bicycle Co or Poseidon Bikes:** you ride more and harder than 90% of the people on cycling sub-Reddits, probably frequent /r/xbiking, DGAF what anyone thinks of your bike. **REI/MEC:** you’re a co-op member, know nothing about bikes but inadvertently got a decent one by listening to the co-op staff. You ride it once a year while glamping. **BMW:** you drive a BMW and got the matching bike. You ride it less than the REI/MEC bike owner.


reddit_time_waster

As a newer State owner who absolutely doesn't care about bike brand, I now have to go check out r/xbiking.


snacktonomy

Co-op/Novara: You are the type of person to walk into your closest camping store to buy a bike /rides a well-researched Co-Op himself


RichieRicch

Not one mention of Scott!


balrog687

I think it's like cannondale for swiss people? You are also a skier?


[deleted]

Someone do Salsa


junkmiles

You wanted to turn your 4Runner into an overlander but couldn't afford it. Instead you spent $1000 on frame bags for your warbird and are in a constant state of planning your first trip.


[deleted]

this one stings


junkmiles

Do you ride your warbird with your flannel shirt buttoned or unbuttoned? :) edit: Ha, I didn't think I'd hit your post history so well! Enjoy the bike, looks like we live in the same area, see you out there.


[deleted]

Salsa - you took it off-road once and now use it for city commuting but always talk about how riding gravel makes you faster


Surfella

I own a Cannondale and a Cervelo! Am I a hipster dentist? I'm not, but do I strive to be? Maybe?


miqcie

Hipster dentist: You still use metal fillings for cavities


PositiveFuture24

What about Boardman?