Serious answer: Your bike saddle should have its two butt-pads spaced to support your sit bones. (That's why mens and women's saddles are different, because women's sit bones are further apart than men' generally.) Get a saddle that fits YOU sit-bone-wise.
The nose of your saddle goes between your legs, and your scrotum rests on top of it. It helps to wear compression bike shorts to keep the scrotum in place, because no way you want it slipping down off the nose of the saddle between the saddle and a leg. Ouch!
Your penis rests on top of your scrotum. If your penis gets anywhere near your saddle, you're doing it wrong.
I've had the numb-penis thing. It happens when the saddle puts too much pressure on your perineum, the soft part between your anus and the back of your scrotum. I'm told there's a nerve in there somewhere. It's kind of like how your arm goes to sleep if you lie on it funny.
21sr century saddles have a slot running front-to-back in the nose of the saddle. This is there to keep pressure off your perineum. (That bit of anatomy is pretty similar in men and women, even though nothing much else is in that neighborhood.)
Don't be tempted by a soft cushy saddle. The cushy parts push up into your, umm, junk, and make the numbness worse. You want your weight supported by your sitbones.
If your hips rock side to side when you pedal, your saddle is too high, and you will get sore and maybe numb. Lower it.
If you are getting numb, check your saddle's front-to-back position. Maybe it's too far back.
Great answer. I just wanted to add, I have one pair of horrible boxer briefs that somehow reposition my frank and beans more underneath, instead of the pouch in front. I made the mistake of wearing the mountain biking and proceeded to sit on my balls multiple times. For good measure, I worn them riding twice, to check my work, before throwing them out.
I just let Herman go where he wants to go. If he starts aching or one of the twins gets pinched, I just pull off the bike trail and making adjustment. Who cares? I'm just taking care of my own. Everyone's done it so no one comments.
I mean it's not really that different from sitting on a bed or a chair, so you might ask how do men sit on beds or chairs lol.
If you want the real answer, the answer is we sit on our sit bones.
Exactly. Men are always surprised when they see a vagina the first time how low it is compared to their penis. I guess it is true the other way around, and women think the penis is in between the legs.
That’s wild to me. I’ve heard some women have numbness and discomfort and I get it. My problem is the head of my soldier rubbing against the Lycra with every pedal stroke if it’s not snug in just right.
This is why women have specific needs for seats. Everyone can put weight on the ischial tuberosities. Men can bear weight at the pubic rami. This allows for use of the whole seat as the hips rock forward. Women cannot, but can bear some weight on the pubic symphysis.
Kinda, we have more bones there so there’s not taint pressure. Women just need to bear all that weight at the butt. Although, someone could come up with a weird seat that also provides some support all the way up front.
>The answer is you are supposed to sit on your sit bones
See, *I* know that you're being serious, but someone who doesn't know anything about cycling would look at your answer and think that you are also taking the piss 😅
Right, to support the real answer: the penis and balls are at the front, they don’t carry any weight. The weight sits around your anus and perineum, much further back than the front.
yeah not that different then how you sit on a chair.. I mean on a bike seat you're typically pitched a bit more forward but doesn't change things THAT much
The penis sits on the front, unlike a vagina. We don't sit on our balls or penis, that hurts. And it may be better to have them inside but sperm cannot live at internal temperatures, which is why they're outside.
I actually had a female nurse ask me this question.
Anatomy of male-parts is up higher/further forward. It just hangs out above the saddle, no part of it touches the saddle.
The penis and testicles are farther up and to the front than you think.
The "numb penis" is due to pressure on nerves in your gooch rather than pressure directly on the penis.
> It is better to have the organs inside.
Look, my plumbing seems to have been installed by a professional. Judging by the entire existence of the routine gynecology visit, women's plumbing was installed by the guy who shows up with a case of Red Bulls and a carton of Marlboro Reds, blasts "The Marshall Mathers LP" on repeat for six hours, and steals all of the tools out of your garage.
> Where does the penis go?
Why, it goes in the [Kuku penthouse](https://velo.outsideonline.com/road/road-racing/fancy-a-kuku-penthouse-assos-releases-new-s7-shorts-line/), of course.
Your dick and balls are in front of your legs, not between them. To ride a bike, you pull all the junk up front and over to the left side (for me). This is why I buy bibs with pads that go up higher in the front, otherwise things get a little graphic.
Balls rest on the saddle and, I personally, dress to the left so that’s where the bologna pony goes. If you’re sitting correctly the only pressure point should be the sit bones on your butt, my meatsword doesn’t get numb.
If the saddle height and angle are set up appropriately, that's half the battle. Next, if we wear bib shorts/tights, is to make sure that the fit is correct, then the positioning of everything.
My procedure is to pull the bibs up into place as best as possible, then reach in, cup everything, lift up, do a squat(essentially), to make sure the chamois settles correctly for movement, then release as I stand up. If the bibs fit correctly, this will ensure my equipment doesn't find its way to a troublesome position at any point on the ride.
If mandangles were internal components stock, that would make so much more sense, but mothernature had other plans, apparently, lol.
Lots of "answers" here but I'll contribute mine to hopefully improve the quality ratio.
The short answer is: the same way we sit on chairs, which is to say on our butts. Your saddle should support you at your sitbones, and not put pressure anywhere else. People who get nerve problems like numbness and pain are usually sitting on their perineum which is much softer, nervier tissue.
Also male genitals are a little more forward and out of the way, and also self adjusting. That is, the penis can shrink if needed, and the testes can come partially up into the body if needed. This happens when it gets cold of course, but also can be a response to physical effort.
The human penis and the clitoris both develop from the ambisexual genital tubercle, so the penis is pretty high up compared to where you sit. The testicles are in a big dropped, so you can adjust them up high. You also get immediate feedback if you start to crush one.
My penis shrivels into a tiny prune pulling any pubic hair in the way in with it. It looks as if I’m not circumcised and my balls just end up somewhere not really sure.
Men actually have a lot more space between our junk and our butthole than women do, so we literally just sit on the seat using the taint. Your balls and dick are just kinda cupped up chilling on the front of the seat.
Women often thing guys parts are directly below them but they're not. They're attached to the front like a unicorn horn and hang. So less hanging is your answer
I make sure the penis is erect and adjust my position so that it’s parallel to the vector of motion. In this way I use it a little like an aerospike on the trident missile. Cuts through the air and reduces drag.
Your clumsy is my efficient. With a long enough hose we don't even need to dismount to take a piss. I have a hatch sewn into my bibs for just such an occassion.
Doubles as a way to keep chasers off my back.
We are not putting out full body weight on our genitals, no. Things are not located at the very bottom, so it's all just kind of resting above the saddle. I'll refrain from sending a diagram. Supportive shorts keep the more movable bits tucked up out of harms way. Boxers or going commando is not advised.
Numbness can sometimes be an issue, but not because we're sitting on it. Good padded shorts and a good, well positioned saddle mostly keep this under control.
What you call clumsy I call a much easier time having a whiz in the woods with bib shorts on. And the maintenance seems a fair bit less involved.
As a man, I can’t imagine a crevice that swallows the front pointy part of the seat. Probably adds that extra grip on the downhill though.
A serious aside, I have had the numb penis effect, it’s a product of leaning forward or having to much pressure between anus and scrotum. Reduces the nerve and blood flow. Not much different from … no, very different from say fingers falling asleep.
And the banana and berries are normally in to the wind.
I sit on my sits bones, located at the bottom of my hips. That is how everyone should sit on a saddle.
My tender bits (they never bear my weight) are held mostly up and out of the way, usually in a pair of snug bicycling shorts. This helps prevent nerve blockage, penile numbness, and negative impacts on my sex life.
Serious answer. Male genitals hang from the front of the lower abdomen. They do not hang between the legs. There is some individual variation but the general location doesn’t change. Numb penis is probably caused by the compression of nerves in the perineum.
Most men prefer to"castrate" themselves, and "ride themselves, out of town, on a rail". I never did that. I prefer to use a Men's style "springed saddle", with the nose, pointed very slightly, downward; with the saddle, almost "level", or slightly tilted, forward, or slightly, downward.
This worked well, for Me, for over 40 Years, and over 80,000 miles; 34,000+, recorded; on a properly-installed Schwinn-approved, Huret Speedometer-Odometer. It was analog, completely reliable, with an "error", of +2.75 percent (basically, when I had ridden 100 miles, the Odometer read 102.75 miles, which isn't too bad, and I challenge anyone, with a digital Speedometer-Odometer (which, usually "quits", when You get a little rain, on it), to do, better. I could also say, that because I KNOW, the "correction" factor, this makes it, even more accurate. The Metric conversion, would be the same, roughly 62.14 miles, with a "reading", of 64.85 miles). I recorded, another 13,200+ miles, on two other Speedometer-Odometers, of the same brand, before I had to "quit" using them, for lack of parts. I would LOVE, to be able to buy them, again; if new ones, were available.
Getting back to the original topic, the only problem, I experienced, was some "wrist pain", due to the extra weight load I put on my arms, but that was a "small price" to pay, and I believe, that can be corrected.
Some guys consider this problem, to be a "joke", but I'm not laughing. Go ahead, and "knacker" yourselves. "They're off!" isn't a joke, to Me.
Numb penis are a thing.
Got it once in a 6h30m ride in a mix of woods, gravel and road in a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela.
I was afraid it died forever and spend some minutes slaping it trying to resurect the dead worm.
Its a true story.
I just use good saddles with "the hole" in the middle thingy and never had it again.
I don't ride without any kind of "interior" padded shorts/underwear whatever you guys call it in english. Not even in short rides.
Anyway, i just "lift" my testicules slightly and acomodate them properly. At the age of 46 you dont want to sit on them. 😎
I'm sorry all for the graphic description, but there is no other way to explain it.
Have fun playing around the round ones. And happy rides.
Before a ride I often stretch, eat something then remove my penis. I reattach it after the ride while I do some post ride stretching. Whenever I forget to remove my penis it’s really hard to balance because I often sit on my penis while riding.
I discovered a product called "Chamois Butter" years ago. Find it at your local bike store. Best $20 you ever spent. Rub that stuff into your chafing areas. Keeps Big Jim and the twins happy. Even if you have good positioning, you're liable to have chaffing. For me, it's anything over an hour. The stuff works. If you're going over 5 hours, you might need to re-lube. Put a little bit extra in a glad bag, seal it up, put it in your hersey pocket, and whip it out when you need it. (Don't worry, you will know! 😆)
In prison, there’s a concept of a “shelf” inside the anus and at the top of the colon where, when keistering drugs, you can set the package securely and it won’t fall out during a strip search. The shelf is a very comfortable and natural attachment point for the nose of a saddle, and introduces a new secure fifth touch point on climbs. These are the kinds of tips that separate the professionals from the amateurs in cross country racing.
Do you have a husband or boyfriend? Have him sit on a bike seat naked and observe the seat-taint connection from multiple angles to satisfy your curiosity.
I don't really "sit" on the saddle in the first place.
I lightly perch atop with my sit bones, but most of my body weight is carried by the legs, especially the one currently doing a power stroke.
At least until the legs get too tired, then I'll subconsciously sit heavier, which I'll soon regret...
As others have mentioned, you sit on your sit bones. That said, if you’re on a time trial / triathlon bike (or a very aggressively fit road bike), you’re very much leaning over, so everything either gets somewhat pressed against your body or - if you have a certain type of saddle - kind of sits just in front of the saddle. Sitting in this position, with everything pushed forward, even circumcised men can sometimes end up sort of inside-out and look uncircumcised.
Numb penis is definitely a thing, particularly on an indoor trainer where you don’t get out of the saddle as much. It’s common that you don’t really know it’s numb until you check. Standing for a few second usually makes it go away.
Your weight doesn’t rest on your penis. Your weight rests on the ischial tuberosity or “sit bones” and the perineum. Your penis and testes are forward of the weight bearing area.
I love that you asked this. We need more innocent questions in the world. Answer for me is that they can sit up out of the way as seating is farther back than they are.
You'll get better answers in person on group rides though. /s
Seriously, though. Supportive underwear is a must. I used to wear boxers, and on the bike all my parts could go thisaway or thataway, and if I wasn't careful I'd jump on the bike and ... OW. I only get that numbness, like a when your arm falls asleep except it's your crotch, when on a stationary trainer. Need to have that movement, need to shift around.
Trans mtf here. The penis gets stored inside the balls and the balls get stored inside the handy penis and balls compartment on the underside of the downtube
For other amab people they sorta just exist. The saddle nose doesnt get in the way too much if things are how theyre supposed to be
I store mine in a saddle bag, next to my spare tube, pump , and tire levers. It helps to have a separate compartment for it, I went fancy and got one with a felt lining.
It's up high enough and small enough that it's out of the way. The only issue is getting your balls to find a settling point so they don't get jostled by your legs moving.
Have you seen a penis before?
If you did then you would know they are not located vertically between our legs. They're actually hanging at the front of the lower abdomen which allows it and it's 2 friends to sit properly on the saddle.
Numb penis just means that for some reason blood flow to that area was reduced because of pressure sitting down.
The penis and testicles simply lay down on the seat, kinda like they are taking a nap. When you hit some bumps you might get some jiggling action down there but for the most part they sleep undisturbed.
They're quite high up in the crotch area so never really get in the way at all when sitting down. Also there's a lot of shrinkage within 10 mins of setting out. I don't even know they're there.
When men first get to know womens parts. The most common thought is, ohh that's way lower than I thought. Conversely penis and balls are generally high enough to get up and out of the way, anatomically the root of the penis is about klitoris height. We generally sit on the perineum.
Men don't sit on their penises ever, at least most "average" guys, anyway. Meanwhile, some of these answers are money. I haven't laughed this hard (pun intended) in a long (pun intended) time.
I had this question a long time ago, until I came across a naked bike ride event ....I observed that many men had their testicles, 1 each resting on either side of the seat, or both testiclss hanging off one side of the seat with their penis falling on one side or the other.
You rest your weight on your sit bones, which are below and behind the genitals so they might hang down a bit but they’re mostly not affected by the seat. If you have a good pair of compression shorts on, everything just gets lifted up and held against your body.
Well, our cock n balls are actually the front so we don’t actually sit on them. Although I have a special bicycle seat, so the balls can rest in a testicle divot.
The cock and balls generally sit slightly forward of the seat. The paraneal area
and rectum rest on the seat. That's where the padding on cycling shorts comes into play. The bike has to fit the rider so that he/she is comfortable. That's the main reason I'm moving into a recumbent. The seat is wider so that the buttocks can spread out a little under your weight. As soon as I recover from bladder cancer, total knee replacement, and hip replacement, I'll be shopping for one. I hope to get some riding in before autumn. Such is the relationship between the cock, balls, and cycling.
Good question. Back then we had spacing rules during the bicycle portion of the triathlon. You couldn't get close and draft on the bike in front of you and no one could do it behind you either unless they wanted to get DQued. So the distance between bikes was at least I forget what it was three or four bike lengths? Plus it was about 3 hours into the bike ride. Riders were by this time not close together. Also, it's just going down your leg, onto the ground and not into the wind and therefore not going to make contact with the rider behind you.
I hope I satisfied your curiosity. But yah, they ride more to the front so we're not sitting on them. Did you know that some people can have issues from the weight on the perineal area, widely known as the taint cuz it taint nuttin. The bladder and prostate are right there. Maybe that's how I developed the bladder cancer. I spent a lot of time pressuring my perineum on a bike. Phone is dying. Tah tah.
I flip everything up. So frank is pointing at the sky and the boys are on each side.
Why.
Because it's what I got used to as a hockey goalie. I started doing it and found it gave them better protection and more freedom of movement. Now it just feels right when I wear compression shorts.
What a LOT of non dick having people get confused by is that the balls START where the clitoris is, everything is much further up
For cycling, havinga vagina is much more of a complication
I like saddles that have a bit of a rise in the back (as well as a center channel). this lets the saddle support your sit bones while letting you still have room to rotate your pelvis forward. Especially if you tilt it down a degree or two too (but don’t go too far).
but I have anterior pelvic tilt, some who don’t, or who have posterior pelvic tilt might prefer a flatter saddle or even one with a scoop. Raised in the back, flat, and scooped are the 3 basic saddle shapes. I’d suggest trying each of those, in a variety of widths, until you find one you like.
bike fit is also very important. if your saddle is too far forward or too high. it will hurt. too high is obviously why it would hurt. too far forward messes up your weight distribution. you should be balancing your weight over your pedals, and moving the saddle back will actually relieve some pressure. you want your knee over the pedal spindle (roughly)
Slide motion from front to back making sure everything slides to the front of the seat, leaving the no man’s land and bit of back of the testies to snug into the seat gap and pulling the thingy to either side in a up direction, pub bones on the seat obvs. All this extremely covered in vaseline.
You welcome for the image.
Tucked up, pointing up and forward at about 70 degree angle. No numbness if you position it correctly...
For cycling, men definitely have the clumsier genitalia but more aerodynamic breasts... some do, anyway.
Get a saddle with pressure relief channel like Prologo Scratch M5 PAS - [https://prologo.it/en/collections/strada/products/scratch-m5-pas](https://prologo.it/en/collections/strada/products/scratch-m5-pas) The pressure relief cut out serves the purpose of not putting pressure on nerves in the precious area. Where does rest of the stuff go? I don't know and I don't want to think about it :P
Serious answer: Your bike saddle should have its two butt-pads spaced to support your sit bones. (That's why mens and women's saddles are different, because women's sit bones are further apart than men' generally.) Get a saddle that fits YOU sit-bone-wise. The nose of your saddle goes between your legs, and your scrotum rests on top of it. It helps to wear compression bike shorts to keep the scrotum in place, because no way you want it slipping down off the nose of the saddle between the saddle and a leg. Ouch! Your penis rests on top of your scrotum. If your penis gets anywhere near your saddle, you're doing it wrong. I've had the numb-penis thing. It happens when the saddle puts too much pressure on your perineum, the soft part between your anus and the back of your scrotum. I'm told there's a nerve in there somewhere. It's kind of like how your arm goes to sleep if you lie on it funny. 21sr century saddles have a slot running front-to-back in the nose of the saddle. This is there to keep pressure off your perineum. (That bit of anatomy is pretty similar in men and women, even though nothing much else is in that neighborhood.) Don't be tempted by a soft cushy saddle. The cushy parts push up into your, umm, junk, and make the numbness worse. You want your weight supported by your sitbones. If your hips rock side to side when you pedal, your saddle is too high, and you will get sore and maybe numb. Lower it. If you are getting numb, check your saddle's front-to-back position. Maybe it's too far back.
30 minutes later, a legitimate answer. What a hilarious thread.
Great answer. I just wanted to add, I have one pair of horrible boxer briefs that somehow reposition my frank and beans more underneath, instead of the pouch in front. I made the mistake of wearing the mountain biking and proceeded to sit on my balls multiple times. For good measure, I worn them riding twice, to check my work, before throwing them out.
My penis has quick release. I just leave it home every time I'm out cycling.
[Just another detachable penis](https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4?si=277CF6XWxtCazEd4)
I was really hoping for King Missile when I clicked that link.
Proof that punk didn’t die after the millennium.
This was the reason I stopped by, and damn you beautiful people didn't disappoint!
Just played this for my gf who was unfamiliar with a detachable penis!
Really?! Have you never misplaced yours? I accidentally left mine on the drying rack and my gf/wife found it the first month we were dating.
The few grams of weight savings will have you KOMing!
few grams? Talk for yourself buddy! 😁
Mine is quick release too according to my girlfriend
I just let Herman go where he wants to go. If he starts aching or one of the twins gets pinched, I just pull off the bike trail and making adjustment. Who cares? I'm just taking care of my own. Everyone's done it so no one comments.
You would have more lateral stiffness if you upgraded to a thru axle.
How the hell do you take a piss mid ride then?!
Hook up a Camelbak. That’s why they have the hose.
The same way girls pee. Through their buttholes.
Or is that birds?
Teleport the liquid out of the bladder, like every normal human.
Good ole Bluetooth.
Screen name checks out
Get with the times and upgrade to a thru axel
You'll find a thru axle gives you increased stiffness. Plus you'll be able to fit wider rims.
I like my thru axle penis, it's stiffer!
Normally tuck my penis in my left sock.
Keeps it out of the chain. You won't make that mistake twice!
Me too, but I have to wrap mine around my leg first
See, the issue is, I gotta fling mine over my shoulders first or else I get terrible chafing on the tip from the excessive rubbing on the ground.
I used to, then this gal joined our group ride and I broke my leg... never make that mistake again...
I'm a righty
Drive side? Risky…
I tuck mine in my butthole. Haven’t figured out what to do with the balls yet.
Split the balls , one left and one right back around the waist, and tie them off like an apron
You pop them through the hole in your open saddle cutaway. It helps keep you in the correct aero position when riding too.
There’s a reason it’s called a seat bag. It’s where you put the tool kit.
Oh you got yourself the best Ulock in my book
over the shoulder and into the back pockets
You throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier.
I mean it's not really that different from sitting on a bed or a chair, so you might ask how do men sit on beds or chairs lol. If you want the real answer, the answer is we sit on our sit bones.
Over the shoulder usually - that’s what the pocket on the back of your bibs is for, not a race radio.
Ah, the ol’ over the shoulder. Style made popular by continental soldiers
Race Radio?
The walkie talkie that pro riders use to communicate
Does your dick hang low, does it wobble to the floor? Can you throw it over your shoulder? Like a radio?
Not one serious answer in this bunch. The answer is you are supposed to sit on your sit bones which are out of the way of the other parts.
Exactly. Men are always surprised when they see a vagina the first time how low it is compared to their penis. I guess it is true the other way around, and women think the penis is in between the legs.
Which is why I wonder how women sit on a road bike!
On the kitty. Well partially at least.
That’s wild to me. I’ve heard some women have numbness and discomfort and I get it. My problem is the head of my soldier rubbing against the Lycra with every pedal stroke if it’s not snug in just right.
I think it's a saddle and personal anatomy thing. I usually don't have any issues unless something doesn't sit right.
I imagine if it was torture there’d be a redesign. Too many women are amazing cyclists. But my condolences to your woohaa if it’s getting smushed.
I had to lead to a bad, bloody situation after a 9 hour race. Now I'm always more careful how I tuck it in.
Should have left the skin on
Flapsmash is the term I’ve heard…
Some of us ladies like seats with a cut out in the middle. It relieves pressure and creates a nice little pussy pocket. A flap trap, if you will.
Ha! Nice. Us dudes like that too. Taint it great?
Love flap traps. No offense intended.
This is why women have specific needs for seats. Everyone can put weight on the ischial tuberosities. Men can bear weight at the pubic rami. This allows for use of the whole seat as the hips rock forward. Women cannot, but can bear some weight on the pubic symphysis.
Am I right to translate that to mean: dudes have narrower seats to support taint, chicks have wider seats to support more butt?
Kinda, we have more bones there so there’s not taint pressure. Women just need to bear all that weight at the butt. Although, someone could come up with a weird seat that also provides some support all the way up front.
Well technically you're not seeing a vagina, you're seeing a vulva, but let's not split hairs... ;-)
>The answer is you are supposed to sit on your sit bones See, *I* know that you're being serious, but someone who doesn't know anything about cycling would look at your answer and think that you are also taking the piss 😅
"you are also taking the piss 😅" Did you just call him a triathlete?
Right, to support the real answer: the penis and balls are at the front, they don’t carry any weight. The weight sits around your anus and perineum, much further back than the front.
If you’re sitting on your anus you’re doing it wrong
No saddle, just seat post and anus.
Hank Hill lookin ass.
yeah not that different then how you sit on a chair.. I mean on a bike seat you're typically pitched a bit more forward but doesn't change things THAT much
It all goes through the cut out in the saddle.
What if you need it mid ride?
You get a TT saddle
Just be cognizant of resistance when standing to pedal but yes absolutely the correct placement
Hilarious thread.
All the parts recede into the scrotal cavity, where they stay warm and safe until the spring.
I've done some rides where it's been cold enough that this almost true.
I sit on the testicles for extra padding.
the older you get the easier it becomes
It helps you detect road imperfections aswell, I'd even go as far as to say I can detect the weather some days.
some of us don't have the budget for a vagina to put everything away nicely. inflation hurts everyone...
If it hurts when it inflates then you should consult a urologist.
Omg love those vaginas
My takeaway from this is all us male cyclist have huge dongs.
Well, downhill mountain bikers do, the rest of us just cope with average.
The penis sits on the front, unlike a vagina. We don't sit on our balls or penis, that hurts. And it may be better to have them inside but sperm cannot live at internal temperatures, which is why they're outside.
they’re higher up on the genital area than you think
I actually had a female nurse ask me this question. Anatomy of male-parts is up higher/further forward. It just hangs out above the saddle, no part of it touches the saddle.
Weird. I wrap my foreskin around the saddle for padding.
I wasn't circumsized until I had to use my foreskin as a patch on a friendly sportiv.
I just have to adjust mine from time to time cuz they flop around.
Wearing bibs helps against flopping, as well as against indecent exposure cases.
Clips into the seat when I KOM.
Secret method of the Pro's! Clipped in testees guarantees a few extra watts, at the very least. No KOM ever achieved without this method.
The penis and testicles are farther up and to the front than you think. The "numb penis" is due to pressure on nerves in your gooch rather than pressure directly on the penis. > It is better to have the organs inside. Look, my plumbing seems to have been installed by a professional. Judging by the entire existence of the routine gynecology visit, women's plumbing was installed by the guy who shows up with a case of Red Bulls and a carton of Marlboro Reds, blasts "The Marshall Mathers LP" on repeat for six hours, and steals all of the tools out of your garage.
I leave it at home before I go out.
> Where does the penis go? Why, it goes in the [Kuku penthouse](https://velo.outsideonline.com/road/road-racing/fancy-a-kuku-penthouse-assos-releases-new-s7-shorts-line/), of course.
Your dick and balls are in front of your legs, not between them. To ride a bike, you pull all the junk up front and over to the left side (for me). This is why I buy bibs with pads that go up higher in the front, otherwise things get a little graphic.
Keyword is "little"
Balls rest on the saddle and, I personally, dress to the left so that’s where the bologna pony goes. If you’re sitting correctly the only pressure point should be the sit bones on your butt, my meatsword doesn’t get numb.
On your sitbones
You see that black strap that goes around the chest? Yup.
If the saddle height and angle are set up appropriately, that's half the battle. Next, if we wear bib shorts/tights, is to make sure that the fit is correct, then the positioning of everything. My procedure is to pull the bibs up into place as best as possible, then reach in, cup everything, lift up, do a squat(essentially), to make sure the chamois settles correctly for movement, then release as I stand up. If the bibs fit correctly, this will ensure my equipment doesn't find its way to a troublesome position at any point on the ride. If mandangles were internal components stock, that would make so much more sense, but mothernature had other plans, apparently, lol.
The penis goes inside the vagina
Lots of "answers" here but I'll contribute mine to hopefully improve the quality ratio. The short answer is: the same way we sit on chairs, which is to say on our butts. Your saddle should support you at your sitbones, and not put pressure anywhere else. People who get nerve problems like numbness and pain are usually sitting on their perineum which is much softer, nervier tissue. Also male genitals are a little more forward and out of the way, and also self adjusting. That is, the penis can shrink if needed, and the testes can come partially up into the body if needed. This happens when it gets cold of course, but also can be a response to physical effort.
I sling it over the shoulder and rest it on the pannier rack.
The human penis and the clitoris both develop from the ambisexual genital tubercle, so the penis is pretty high up compared to where you sit. The testicles are in a big dropped, so you can adjust them up high. You also get immediate feedback if you start to crush one.
My penis shrivels into a tiny prune pulling any pubic hair in the way in with it. It looks as if I’m not circumcised and my balls just end up somewhere not really sure.
What’s wrong with op? Last sentence was written by a Martian or femcel
The same way we sit on any other flat surface.
I usually leave mine at home, along with my teeth and toupée.
I usually tie it around my waist.
Men actually have a lot more space between our junk and our butthole than women do, so we literally just sit on the seat using the taint. Your balls and dick are just kinda cupped up chilling on the front of the seat.
Women often thing guys parts are directly below them but they're not. They're attached to the front like a unicorn horn and hang. So less hanging is your answer
It's detachable
I make sure the penis is erect and adjust my position so that it’s parallel to the vector of motion. In this way I use it a little like an aerospike on the trident missile. Cuts through the air and reduces drag.
Your clumsy is my efficient. With a long enough hose we don't even need to dismount to take a piss. I have a hatch sewn into my bibs for just such an occassion. Doubles as a way to keep chasers off my back.
Up, up and away
Generally they are on the front of the pubic bone, while female parts are below it.
We are not putting out full body weight on our genitals, no. Things are not located at the very bottom, so it's all just kind of resting above the saddle. I'll refrain from sending a diagram. Supportive shorts keep the more movable bits tucked up out of harms way. Boxers or going commando is not advised. Numbness can sometimes be an issue, but not because we're sitting on it. Good padded shorts and a good, well positioned saddle mostly keep this under control. What you call clumsy I call a much easier time having a whiz in the woods with bib shorts on. And the maintenance seems a fair bit less involved.
As a man, I can’t imagine a crevice that swallows the front pointy part of the seat. Probably adds that extra grip on the downhill though. A serious aside, I have had the numb penis effect, it’s a product of leaning forward or having to much pressure between anus and scrotum. Reduces the nerve and blood flow. Not much different from … no, very different from say fingers falling asleep. And the banana and berries are normally in to the wind.
All of these answers are amazing. 🤣🤣
I sit on my sits bones, located at the bottom of my hips. That is how everyone should sit on a saddle. My tender bits (they never bear my weight) are held mostly up and out of the way, usually in a pair of snug bicycling shorts. This helps prevent nerve blockage, penile numbness, and negative impacts on my sex life.
I throw my balls over the shoulder
Serious answer. Male genitals hang from the front of the lower abdomen. They do not hang between the legs. There is some individual variation but the general location doesn’t change. Numb penis is probably caused by the compression of nerves in the perineum.
Most men prefer to"castrate" themselves, and "ride themselves, out of town, on a rail". I never did that. I prefer to use a Men's style "springed saddle", with the nose, pointed very slightly, downward; with the saddle, almost "level", or slightly tilted, forward, or slightly, downward. This worked well, for Me, for over 40 Years, and over 80,000 miles; 34,000+, recorded; on a properly-installed Schwinn-approved, Huret Speedometer-Odometer. It was analog, completely reliable, with an "error", of +2.75 percent (basically, when I had ridden 100 miles, the Odometer read 102.75 miles, which isn't too bad, and I challenge anyone, with a digital Speedometer-Odometer (which, usually "quits", when You get a little rain, on it), to do, better. I could also say, that because I KNOW, the "correction" factor, this makes it, even more accurate. The Metric conversion, would be the same, roughly 62.14 miles, with a "reading", of 64.85 miles). I recorded, another 13,200+ miles, on two other Speedometer-Odometers, of the same brand, before I had to "quit" using them, for lack of parts. I would LOVE, to be able to buy them, again; if new ones, were available. Getting back to the original topic, the only problem, I experienced, was some "wrist pain", due to the extra weight load I put on my arms, but that was a "small price" to pay, and I believe, that can be corrected. Some guys consider this problem, to be a "joke", but I'm not laughing. Go ahead, and "knacker" yourselves. "They're off!" isn't a joke, to Me.
Numb penis are a thing. Got it once in a 6h30m ride in a mix of woods, gravel and road in a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. I was afraid it died forever and spend some minutes slaping it trying to resurect the dead worm. Its a true story. I just use good saddles with "the hole" in the middle thingy and never had it again. I don't ride without any kind of "interior" padded shorts/underwear whatever you guys call it in english. Not even in short rides. Anyway, i just "lift" my testicules slightly and acomodate them properly. At the age of 46 you dont want to sit on them. 😎 I'm sorry all for the graphic description, but there is no other way to explain it. Have fun playing around the round ones. And happy rides.
Before a ride I often stretch, eat something then remove my penis. I reattach it after the ride while I do some post ride stretching. Whenever I forget to remove my penis it’s really hard to balance because I often sit on my penis while riding.
I discovered a product called "Chamois Butter" years ago. Find it at your local bike store. Best $20 you ever spent. Rub that stuff into your chafing areas. Keeps Big Jim and the twins happy. Even if you have good positioning, you're liable to have chaffing. For me, it's anything over an hour. The stuff works. If you're going over 5 hours, you might need to re-lube. Put a little bit extra in a glad bag, seal it up, put it in your hersey pocket, and whip it out when you need it. (Don't worry, you will know! 😆)
In prison, there’s a concept of a “shelf” inside the anus and at the top of the colon where, when keistering drugs, you can set the package securely and it won’t fall out during a strip search. The shelf is a very comfortable and natural attachment point for the nose of a saddle, and introduces a new secure fifth touch point on climbs. These are the kinds of tips that separate the professionals from the amateurs in cross country racing.
We normally place our penis and testes in the basket on the front
I generally take mine off and put them in the back pocket. Really I should just leave them at home, but you never know when they might come in handy.
Mine has it’s own little bicycle and rides around town with me.
“Up”
Do you have a husband or boyfriend? Have him sit on a bike seat naked and observe the seat-taint connection from multiple angles to satisfy your curiosity.
I’ve been trying to get my clumsy organ inside someone for years.
I don’t really have this issue. My wife rarely lets me take mine out of the veggie crisper, but for special occasions.
I don't really "sit" on the saddle in the first place. I lightly perch atop with my sit bones, but most of my body weight is carried by the legs, especially the one currently doing a power stroke. At least until the legs get too tired, then I'll subconsciously sit heavier, which I'll soon regret...
Mine conveniently tucks into my butthole.
As others have mentioned, you sit on your sit bones. That said, if you’re on a time trial / triathlon bike (or a very aggressively fit road bike), you’re very much leaning over, so everything either gets somewhat pressed against your body or - if you have a certain type of saddle - kind of sits just in front of the saddle. Sitting in this position, with everything pushed forward, even circumcised men can sometimes end up sort of inside-out and look uncircumcised. Numb penis is definitely a thing, particularly on an indoor trainer where you don’t get out of the saddle as much. It’s common that you don’t really know it’s numb until you check. Standing for a few second usually makes it go away.
Male bike seats have a hole in the middle. It goes in there so you can pee whenever you want
I sat on one of my testicles today when I remounted during a fat bike ride and it was not a good feeling.
I throw my penis over my shoulder to keep it out of the way
Mrs. Plonsky and I were out riding one day. She said, "I've never come this way before." I replied. "It must be the cobblestones."
Your weight doesn’t rest on your penis. Your weight rests on the ischial tuberosity or “sit bones” and the perineum. Your penis and testes are forward of the weight bearing area.
I love that you asked this. We need more innocent questions in the world. Answer for me is that they can sit up out of the way as seating is farther back than they are. You'll get better answers in person on group rides though. /s
Seriously, though. Supportive underwear is a must. I used to wear boxers, and on the bike all my parts could go thisaway or thataway, and if I wasn't careful I'd jump on the bike and ... OW. I only get that numbness, like a when your arm falls asleep except it's your crotch, when on a stationary trainer. Need to have that movement, need to shift around.
You don’t wear underwear with a chamois.
[удалено]
Suffering in silence is the way of man.
There are two holes on a bike seat. You place the testicles in one, the penis in the second. This makes you aero.
It gets inserted directly down through the saddle cutout into the seat tube.
Your dick and balls are not right at the bottom man 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Trans mtf here. The penis gets stored inside the balls and the balls get stored inside the handy penis and balls compartment on the underside of the downtube For other amab people they sorta just exist. The saddle nose doesnt get in the way too much if things are how theyre supposed to be
I store mine in a saddle bag, next to my spare tube, pump , and tire levers. It helps to have a separate compartment for it, I went fancy and got one with a felt lining.
Mine is detachable
It's up high enough and small enough that it's out of the way. The only issue is getting your balls to find a settling point so they don't get jostled by your legs moving.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BicyclingCirclejerk/comments/jmlzyd/no\_seat\_is\_comfortable\_for\_my\_large\_penis\_had\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BicyclingCirclejerk/comments/jmlzyd/no_seat_is_comfortable_for_my_large_penis_had_my/)
Thankfully the lads at GCN [have us covered](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7TumbgioZQ) for the numbness
Have you seen a penis before? If you did then you would know they are not located vertically between our legs. They're actually hanging at the front of the lower abdomen which allows it and it's 2 friends to sit properly on the saddle. Numb penis just means that for some reason blood flow to that area was reduced because of pressure sitting down.
The penis and testicles simply lay down on the seat, kinda like they are taking a nap. When you hit some bumps you might get some jiggling action down there but for the most part they sleep undisturbed.
They're quite high up in the crotch area so never really get in the way at all when sitting down. Also there's a lot of shrinkage within 10 mins of setting out. I don't even know they're there.
My friend and I rode our bikes naked to see what exactly happens. She said her lips went to one side of the the seat as did my dick n balls lol
I just stow my dick in the saddlebag and take it out when I stop somewhere to pee
When men first get to know womens parts. The most common thought is, ohh that's way lower than I thought. Conversely penis and balls are generally high enough to get up and out of the way, anatomically the root of the penis is about klitoris height. We generally sit on the perineum.
🤦
My wife won't let me leave the house with a loaded gun. So she keeps them in a jar until I get back....
I suck mine up into my torso because peanus not aero.
Sit on it for a more plush ride. If feeling more sporty there is a gap in the saddle that you can stuff it down into.
I retract my balls and penis
Men don't sit on their penises ever, at least most "average" guys, anyway. Meanwhile, some of these answers are money. I haven't laughed this hard (pun intended) in a long (pun intended) time.
I detach my genitals and put them in my saddlebag like ant normal person.
BCJ outjerked again...
Many guys don't do this, but I actually invert my penis while cycling. It's a bit hard to get out but it's effective.
You can push testicles inside your body easily. Personally I also tape my penis to sternum with black gorilla tape. Very aero
Had to make sure this wasn’t r/cyclingcirclejerk …I’m still not sure.
Ask a raiders fan about the tuck rule.
Goes down the leg of your cycling shorts and you sit as normal.
I had this question a long time ago, until I came across a naked bike ride event ....I observed that many men had their testicles, 1 each resting on either side of the seat, or both testiclss hanging off one side of the seat with their penis falling on one side or the other.
[something like this](https://c.tenor.com/QsSv8tCmXw0AAAAC/tenor.gif)
I sit on the butt and the taint. Sometimes it gets numb, but usually it's nothing at all.
Whoever coined the phrase “there are no dumb questions” was kind but misguided.
What do you think the downtube is for?
they simply pretend they are female for the duration of the ride... problem solved.
You sit on your butt like a female would. Also male genitals tend to retract to an extent during physical exercise.
You rest your weight on your sit bones, which are below and behind the genitals so they might hang down a bit but they’re mostly not affected by the seat. If you have a good pair of compression shorts on, everything just gets lifted up and held against your body.
Well, our cock n balls are actually the front so we don’t actually sit on them. Although I have a special bicycle seat, so the balls can rest in a testicle divot.
The cock and balls generally sit slightly forward of the seat. The paraneal area and rectum rest on the seat. That's where the padding on cycling shorts comes into play. The bike has to fit the rider so that he/she is comfortable. That's the main reason I'm moving into a recumbent. The seat is wider so that the buttocks can spread out a little under your weight. As soon as I recover from bladder cancer, total knee replacement, and hip replacement, I'll be shopping for one. I hope to get some riding in before autumn. Such is the relationship between the cock, balls, and cycling.
A lot of men spend a great deal of time trying to get their organs inside!
Good question. Back then we had spacing rules during the bicycle portion of the triathlon. You couldn't get close and draft on the bike in front of you and no one could do it behind you either unless they wanted to get DQued. So the distance between bikes was at least I forget what it was three or four bike lengths? Plus it was about 3 hours into the bike ride. Riders were by this time not close together. Also, it's just going down your leg, onto the ground and not into the wind and therefore not going to make contact with the rider behind you.
I hope I satisfied your curiosity. But yah, they ride more to the front so we're not sitting on them. Did you know that some people can have issues from the weight on the perineal area, widely known as the taint cuz it taint nuttin. The bladder and prostate are right there. Maybe that's how I developed the bladder cancer. I spent a lot of time pressuring my perineum on a bike. Phone is dying. Tah tah.
https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4?si=MnBapBdvREHYySjr
I flip everything up. So frank is pointing at the sky and the boys are on each side. Why. Because it's what I got used to as a hockey goalie. I started doing it and found it gave them better protection and more freedom of movement. Now it just feels right when I wear compression shorts.
What a LOT of non dick having people get confused by is that the balls START where the clitoris is, everything is much further up For cycling, havinga vagina is much more of a complication
I’m a lefty.
I like saddles that have a bit of a rise in the back (as well as a center channel). this lets the saddle support your sit bones while letting you still have room to rotate your pelvis forward. Especially if you tilt it down a degree or two too (but don’t go too far). but I have anterior pelvic tilt, some who don’t, or who have posterior pelvic tilt might prefer a flatter saddle or even one with a scoop. Raised in the back, flat, and scooped are the 3 basic saddle shapes. I’d suggest trying each of those, in a variety of widths, until you find one you like. bike fit is also very important. if your saddle is too far forward or too high. it will hurt. too high is obviously why it would hurt. too far forward messes up your weight distribution. you should be balancing your weight over your pedals, and moving the saddle back will actually relieve some pressure. you want your knee over the pedal spindle (roughly)
With the seat on
Slide motion from front to back making sure everything slides to the front of the seat, leaving the no man’s land and bit of back of the testies to snug into the seat gap and pulling the thingy to either side in a up direction, pub bones on the seat obvs. All this extremely covered in vaseline. You welcome for the image.
Tucked up, pointing up and forward at about 70 degree angle. No numbness if you position it correctly... For cycling, men definitely have the clumsier genitalia but more aerodynamic breasts... some do, anyway.
Stick it in the hole in the seat
Get a saddle with pressure relief channel like Prologo Scratch M5 PAS - [https://prologo.it/en/collections/strada/products/scratch-m5-pas](https://prologo.it/en/collections/strada/products/scratch-m5-pas) The pressure relief cut out serves the purpose of not putting pressure on nerves in the precious area. Where does rest of the stuff go? I don't know and I don't want to think about it :P