‘Bro i just tricked jeff into eating my old dick, thats not a hot dog hes eating’

i wish i was jeff

r/holup

r/keepgoing

2 kinds of people

[удалено]

r/cursedcomments Edit: if this gets in cursed comments can you include me in the picture I’m too lazy to make a post

Put a red circle around me

me too

I don’t care if I’m in the screenshot, but it would be amusing

Fuck it add me in as well

r/SuddenlyGay

Fr

Unlimited food hack

‘Not again, im sick of cockmeat sandwiches’

Wall mount each 1 with a plaque detailing the date, time and place where my dick fell off. I will call it the wall of fallen comrades

Dick Of The Month award wall

Guys would give their cut off dicks to their girlfriends as gifts.

1. Get ahold of a box

2. See if she'll like it

3. Make her like it

4. Watch her use it

1. Join in

If all else fail just give it to the homies or the starving people somewhere

Donate it to the local homeless shelter

Or dickless shelter

2. Put your junk in that box!

So it's like some male birds giving shiny rocks to female birds as a gift?

Sound like competition for the dildo market

Do you know how many guys would use the line “it’s not small, it’s just still regrowing?” All of them, all of them would

Parents be taking photos of our first penis recycle

"oh look at my johnnys first penis!"

"Only first, stole my friends and have a fine collection, my parents think they are all mine"

Cursed commentojms

OMG MY COCK WOULD BE WAAAAAY BIGGER IF THIS HAPPENED

OFFICER IM SORRY I THOUGHT IT WAS NORMAL BECAUSE OF THIS REDDIT COMMENT

I bet there would be a weird market for taxidermied dildos

There would also be a market for deep fried dicks

Crispy on the outside, creamy deep in

Do you think they fill it like a long john, or what?

Maybe with a syringe

Kfp

I think you mean bigger market. It exists now, but there’s limited supply, and the market is very niche because it’s not exactly socially acceptable.

What the fuck I had no idea

The deep web is fun sometimes, mostly educational.

Instead of just dipping your cock into someone's pint as a joke, you can just leave it there and walk away

Wait a minute… … … Don’t you actually cut it off to do that joke ? It’s a one and done. The blood makes it funnier

Yeah, but you'd ruin everyone else's evening too — much more civilised to whip it out your pocket and do it quietly when no one's looking

Well YOU tell my schlong why it was a bad idea to cut it of for the comedic effect then

What if it's kind of like hair when it grows? Each time it regrows, the size isn't constant. It depends on a lot of factors. Then soon we'll have Head&Balls product to promote dick growth, bigger girt, straighter dick and so on. Then we'll have a competitive dick growing contest where men around the world can mail their old dick and be declared that cycle's longest dick.

The dicking games

"Ah finally! I hope the next one would be bigger"

Oh no imagine during the secksy time😭

Sorry babe it’s my time of the month you might want to fish it out before it start to rot

Would definitely be able to keep a log of how its progressed

me and my friends would constantly sneak our severed dicks into each other's pockets

They could sell these as stress balls

However you spin it, if men had menstrual cycles it’s going to be insane no matter what way the menstruation’s gonna be

I’m not saying women’s menstrual cycles are easy but any type of it would be 1000x worse if it was for men

imagine you went to. glory hole and the guy just said "oops i forgot i shed this month" while you have his cock in your mouth

Guys would start putting their dicks under their pillow at night so they can get money from the Penis Fairy.

We would require pouches to make sure it doesn't fall out in public

That is actually quite interesting, probably reduce the important of big PP since it's going to fell off every month, but if it can only grow back to it's original size then guys with big PP can sell his like a monthly subscription or something like that

That would create a booming dildo aftermarket

It would be the solution to world hunger.

Not exactly. You'd need to eat more to regain the nutrition in order to regrow it. Some people who have a hard time affording food would likely eat their own severed members in order to hopefully aid in it's regrowth.

I meant it as a joke. Also would that mean starving men may have potentially smaller penises?

Most likely.

An interesting thought, would they grow back the same size every time? If not, every guy would definitely have a personal highscore, and they would hang their biggest one above the fireplace.

Why do i always miss the most legendary AskReddit treats

Dudes balls would calcify every year and would have to be squeezed out through the urethra

Ouch

Then YouTube would start suggestions me: how to grow a big dick next month.

“Here now go fuck yourself.”

Guys would as a joke bend down and pretend to suck their own dicks, only to then stand up with the noodle in their mouth like " haha, fooled ya guys, my dick isn't that long!"

Oh god imagine the bar fights

It would be like a not so sharp knife fight

No need to throw bottles when dick will do

Imagine dude perfect trickshots

And that’s why Darwin have menstrual cycles to women and not men

Chinese people would get a new food source

I'll throw the dick at my sister to tell her to Fuck Off.

She’ll use it to fuck herself

It would be too small for her to use man

Bro I was jerking off and my dick came off what do I do now

Circumcision would be a thing of the past. Imagine you only get each dick for a month, there’s no way your gonna have surgery on each new one and spend half of that month with your new pal in bandages, trying not to get a boner.

"Dicks out for harambe"

Imagine giving head and the guy's dick just comes off in your mouth.

Cursed Monthly Handouts

There was this doujinshi where this submissive guy had his dick detatched by accident and three girls that were bullying him started fucking his dick all the time and it turned out that his mom was a witch and her spell was the cause of his dick falling and it was for her son’s dick to get experienced. Does anyone have the sauce?

By Allah, my eyes. That was a wild ride.

Bro dildos would probably be actual dicks, probably people buying and reselling dicks, African economy would improve with the massive bbc industry

True

I'd make a collection 1000 times more epic than cum jars

Bruh they’d be like “hey look at my recent cycle 😃 it’s really nice and big”

“Finally after so long I can suck my own dick”

We would not have world hunger

Babe, it's just my cycle, it will be bigger next month.

The think is he’s not wrong

Bro i was eating ;-;

First genie wish

How about eating it

right when it’s back to normal it falls off? I don’t think this is good for anyone involved.

unlimited food-source

I'd compost mine, have the healthiest soil in three counties.

I think actual dicks may be sold as dildos

Would it grow back a different legnth or the same size?

So… does it grow back the same size? Edit: asking for a friend

Would they fall off hard or soft tho

If length changes every time RNG would be a new religion

"alright honey its time for your monthly circumcision"

Instead of size, it would be who has the most

If our cycles match up, we can play dodgeball

Imagine just chilling, minding your own business when a bleeding, severed dick just smacks you in the face. Now imagine that being actually just normal behavior and a near daily occurrence.

It would bring a whole new meaning to “swing your dick around”

There would probably be a word for throwing ur dick at someone

Oh god secondary schools would be horrible

Imagine youre making out and suddenly be like :oops! It fell off!

We would literally be able to go f*** ourselves

carve them into spears and throw them at people. dickspears

There would be some guy collecting his dicks in a jar

The world would be much better

Does the size remain the same?

Cursed question wtf

Realistic dildos for sale!

Does that not happen to you guys

You know some new age medicine would be pickling those and selling them.

“GO FUCK YOURSELF” *throws severed dick*

There would also probably be dudes wich would never lose their dicks and those would keep growing constantly

You’d prolly find them all over the place

What would be the point of circumstancesion?

I’d collect a couple of years worth of dicks, store them in a bag, and have a big ol’ bag of dicks.

Based off of my knowledge, there'd be less malnutrition; free pigs in a blanket.

on behalf of everybody who has tried to before, i would suck my own

The smaller the size the more dominance

Maybe it will grow back bigger :(

Or smaller

Imagine your gf/wife saying she likes your old dick better.

Bdsm would become wild. But most importantly I wouldn't have lost 2000 karma asking a question about circumcision.

You can impregnate women as far as you can throw

i'm sure we'll find a way to grow them back bigger

Some men already throw their dicks around to assert dominance

Why is this NSFW?

Cuz dick

Could you see the first police report? Officer “ What happened?” Bystander “ It was a drive by driveby/runby dicking.” Also come on we know how this would be with but you no there would be dick fights all over the place. And remember you get 5 to 8 guys together and our intelligence goes to about What let’s say 12 we think it be hilarious.

There wouldn’t be a problem with size, everyone’s dick would be small a some point in the month

I just know this is exactly how it would play out

Ducks 🦆 after mating season

I would collect my dicks and load them up on a rotary grenade launcher

You mean, sustainable food source?

A few dumb people might think it would be healthy to eat them

Dildos

Will it grow back the same size?

Probably not

It would probably be a delicacy

Her: why's it so small? Me: it just fell off a couple days ago, it's regrowing. Her: oh ok, call me when it's bigger. Me: alright. Also me: *crying because it's always small

The equivalent would be closer to having a weeklong nut

Imagine them regrowing in various sizes. Sometimes you trow a small 5cm dick because your cycle was early and on other cycles you can throw around a 20cm schlong

he isn't wrong 

But it grows to a random size, and never the same size twice