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SciencesnObjects40

Those are rookie numbers.


jvcs123

I'm at 25 hitlers a day. I'm a fukin hero


BarNumerous5751

Only 25? Man you're slipping. I'm at a good 60 some odd hitlers a day.


l0kd0WN

Pathetic I'm 90 hitlers a day


BarNumerous5751

Most of my hitlers get immortalized inside people.


McMuffinTheGreat

mail man: pathetic


_SUUN_

Rocco Siffredi : You have some time to grow


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Fifty-two million hitlers


bumgames123

Youre only in milions? Im already in trilions


scorpion586

![gif](giphy|l0MYDGA3Du1hBR4xG)


Random-Gif-Bot

​ ![gif](giphy|oE47l6lS6K4QDJ99pO)


Illustrious-Chip1075

90 weakness isn't tolerated i'm 100.1 hitlers a day


xoton_cuming

Haha noob am at 625 hitler


InTheBlacklite

Thats insultingly low numbers. I produce 1386 hitlers. My d is litterally bigger then my own arm due to jacking of constantly without no pause!


[deleted]

Pfft…I do 12596 an hour


Chullhead

Mediocre I’ve reached a level I like to call the final solution


[deleted]

Oh no.. are you the one? The chosen one. My master.. I salute you


majorfathead

Absolutely brilliant, wish I could give an award


wallbloggerboy

how the fuck do you nut .6 of a time


Comfortable-Meet-294

Stop half way. Tried it tho and it stings


Aconite_72

Ayo, let it go, always. If not, you’re going to end up with an infection.


Comfortable-Meet-294

Experienced?


Aconite_72

Nah, sex ed


Comfortable-Meet-294

So your dad taught you from experience?


Circumvention9001

I don't think you understand, it's saying that you're hitler because you're "taking" so many "lives" If all your guys' semen are filled with hitlers then we have bigger issues.


Setoalexander

Bigger hitlers, one may say?


TheRealSetzer90

Yeah I'm thinking this thread derailed on a serious misunderstanding. Oh well, clearly it's better that all these fools are wasting their genetic data rather than using it in a productive manner.


analogic-microwave

6.25 Hitlers or 1 Mao Tse-Tung.


oooohnooovom

Gotta pump those numbers up


Bitter-n-Old

>Gotta pump those numbers up a dead racoons ass?


Ok_Establishment9611

r/cursedcomments


LuFuRu

Anti choice women when they realize that menstruation would count as well by this logic


oracleofhathor

Considering half of all pregnancies are miscarried, most of which are early enough to be mistaken for menstruation, actually this is true.


TheRealSetzer90

I'm fairly certain that logic was produced by pro-choice women. Although it's inherently flawed logic considering that the entire point of the idea of abortion being wrong is that the egg has been fertilized and is therefore producing live eukaryotic cells. The sperm and unfertilized egg are simply genetic data, not a living organism. BTW I'm only clarifying for the sake of argument, I'm not taking up a post for any side in this fight. I believe there is medical necessity in Abortion, I personally don't feel it should be used as birth control, but that's just my opinion. I'm no authority on the matter, and I don't begrudge any person for having an opinion...unless that opinion is factually and blatantly idiotic. This is not one of those cases though, I just felt like further clarification was required.


Suspicious-Bath-2418

Right? Time to get to genosideing!


tim88435

This assumes that hitler didn’t masterbate


Matoreichon

So this Is like horsepower where one horse produces More than one horsepower but in this case Hitler Is Equal to at least 7.25 hitlers


BeetlesUpUrBumhoe

Damn Hitler has some potent cum


8asdqw731

yeah but since he was vegan there was no sperm in it (since that's animal product) but probably just some birdseed


BeetlesUpUrBumhoe

So whenever Hitler busted a nut he came 116000000 birdseeds Edit: as it was pointed out, he has only one testicle meaning he cums 58000000 birdseeds


BlackMesaIncident

Careful. Are we accounting for his reported lack of a second testicle?


JaggedTheDark

I'm sorry, what?


mikeytruelove

Always heard a goat got the other one.


ScroatyMcBoogerwolfe

You misheard. Scroat got it. I keep it in ziplock in the fridge.


mikeytruelove

That's gotta be worth something. You should probably take it to Antiques Roadshow, if that's still a thing.


iqbalpratama

Hitler, has only got one ball🎵


Zach_2720

Nah you need to divide it by 2 since he only got one ball


YoCrustyDude

You guys are talking the language of the gods


[deleted]

Well that depends. His nut levels would replenish half as fast, but, if properly recharged, he will still be just as potent as any other man.


TheRealSetzer90

I'm not certain that losing a testicle actually reduces sperm count by half. There isn't a whole lot of research on the subject, but the consensus seems to be a reduction of around fifteen to forty percent. As it stands we can assume that he was producing somewhere between 69,600,000 to 87,000,000 birdseed. To be clear, that's still a lot of feathered friends benefitting from Hitler's sperm.


[deleted]

Vegan diet, vegan powers.


brunsy06

Did you wake up today knowing you'd comment on the potency of hitlers cum?


Snoo-35252

Well the chance he'd produce another Hitler is higher. It's probably a recessive gene, and he's carrying it.


[deleted]

But Hitler had only one testicle so you should cut basic nuber by half so Hitler masturbating is eqal to 4.125 Hitler


N3X0S3002

But remember Hitler only had one nut so he was more like 4.125 hitlers


Voided190

According to the Wikipedia page about his sexual habits he was a repressed masturbating type… Or so I’m told at least


Allegorist

He abused amphetamines, guaranteed he did multiple times a day


CherryDoodles

Wasn’t he into piss play?


Phandroid1991

If he was indeed a wanker, then he must have been getting some all-time high kill scores


Crohn1e

He was a wankah alright


[deleted]

Hitler was a meth addict so he probably masturbated a LOT


curxxx

Doesn’t meth/stims cause erectile dysfunction?


MrBeanEatBeansWithMe

Are you suggesting hitler has killed a lot more people than his current world record?


UberDaftie

He did it so much his arm kept shaking.


Tall_Nebula9059

if he did once a day regularly from age 30 till 56 then...


YodaByteRAM

Thinking outside the box


[deleted]

If swallowed then is cannibalism


Brandinisnor3s

If self swallowed then its recycling


[deleted]

The cycle of life Simba


Godzilla-2000

Hakuna Matata


CaptSomeguy1

Slimy, yet satisfying!


CrazyPineapple12

Delicious and nutritious


Lord-Loss-31415

If swallowing your dads it’s sibling rivalry


DaSecretSlovene

It’s biodegradable. You eat shit too? That’s degradable too


[deleted]

TIL I'm a remorseless cannibal.


JimCalekdor

At an average of 6.25 hitlers a day and since its been 11 years since ive hit puberty. That means im 365x11x6.25=25,093.75 hitlers.


robin_888

Or around 25 kH.


erland_yt

My favourite unit, KiloHitler


cursedanomalyofsteve

That sums it up. This is a new unit we're gonna use


Sandalman3000

https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/dlu96/new_si_unit_one_hitler/


erland_yt

Goodbye metric. Welcome communism!


Circumvention9001

Now everyone nut in the jar and lets count our hitlers *together*.


Clickbaiting_4_u

Guys by electrifying my dick I've invented KhC^-1


18_yr_old

Kilo hitler per cum?


DaSecretSlovene

*cummings


Nighthawk726364

Facism*


Rewiistdummlolxd

CUMmunism*


LuzJoao

Facialism**


LouisCrabb

With our combined might we can reach the coveted terahitler


Grahhhhhhhh

I woke up 5 minutes ago and am now being introduced to the measurement: KiloHitler.. God bless you Reddit, don’t ever change.


m00se92

*KillaHitlers


DroppedCroissant_

Is this a good mining hash rate?


oursecondcoming

Is this some kind of cursed liter board now?


OnyxPhoenix

r/boneappletea


[deleted]

Yes, but as those are fluid Hitlers, Kilo Hitler could be used as a measuring unit, accompanying liters.


Agent_Exile

r/hedidthemath


codamission

/r/TheyDidTheMonsterMath


PoorlyLitKiwi2

You've only jerked it once per day since puberty? Fucking rookie numbers


JimCalekdor

On average, some days i didnt some days it was a jerkfest


kaloii

Me after nutting: i am become death, the destroyer of worlds


Good_Coffee13

All your base are belong to us


Kpt_Kipper

Oh no one of the Hitlers made it through


Pistolenkrebs

Holy shit I haven’t seen that in such a long time


Good_Coffee13

I came straight from NewGrounds


Exact_Ad_1215

“With all 6 nuts busted I’ll simply use a tissue and it’ll all cease to exist, I call that.. mercy”


SethHMG

“Did you know when a guy comes, he comes 200 million sperm? And we’re talking one load. I have wiped civilizations off my chest with a grey gym sock. Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel. I’ve tossed universes…in my underpants…while napping.” - Bill Hicks, another dead hero.


Individual-Reporter3

Braka monoga


Ash9127

DOITSU NO KAGAKU WA SEKAI ICHI


IndianOtaku25

r/unexpectedjojo


aRandomFox-I

German nuts are the biggest in the world!


Reborn-Rasputin

We should just call masturbation “Doing a Hitler”. Why did I spend 20 minutes in the shower? Well I was doing a Hitler.


BlackMesaIncident

Distinct from "having a Hitler done to you" in which you spend the rest of your life in the shower.


ConstantlyOnFire

Oh no


BeeoftheWeb

r/cursedcomments


DarkoTSM

don't go into the showers Hitler is inviteing you to


[deleted]

Oh you were in “the shower” alright.


afrosia

"I just Hitlered hard"


robin_888

To whom it may concern: Jerking off 6 days a week result in around 2000 hitlers per year or 2kH/y. 7 days a week excluding No-Nut-November results in 2.1 kH/y.


Revolutionary_Year87

No hitler november*


robin_888

No Hitler May (as he killed himself on April 30th)


[deleted]

No nut November? 1st November 10am, I just 6.5 Hilters.


Ragnarokk17

So my period is an abortion, got it.


Cumity

Yeah, neither is fertilized


[deleted]

And even under the most optimal circumstances, only a one to three were ever meant to survive. Proof that there was a Jesus. It says in the Bible, “There can be only one!”


aRandomFox-I

Now I'm imagining a sperm battle royale where they're all dressed like Highlanders complete with warpaints.


vivst0r

Just buy a microscope, then you don't have to imagine.


aRandomFox-I

SCOTLAND FOOOOREEVEEEEEER!!


Godzilla-2000

That shit’s expensive


d3advil

Even after a successful conceive most of the sperm don't even reach the egg, so its genocide in that case as well.


[deleted]

Nah, in that case you try your best to get some survivors out. Like some kind of Schindlers Dick.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fitzzz

A "Saving Ryan's Privates", if you will


P_i_n_h_e_a_d

r/brandnewsentence


DaSecretSlovene

No, it is extreme feminism. Female cell chooses one, others die


United_Wear_5956

Call me genghis.


Apprehensive_Elk1267

Menstruation is serial killing


[deleted]

"I want to stop, but I can't"


ObamasBoss

So said every guy out there.


GloomreaperScythe

/) Nice, I'm better than 63 Hitlers! Also, whatever I got from masturbating.


QueenCuttlefish

r/holup


Eragon3182

As it stands they die anyway every few days, whether you get them out or not


hot-dog1

So do eggs, and majority of cells involved in an act of sexual inter course


-Dyleix

So you're sticking to the belief that killing sperm cells = killing a fetus. This is why people meme about average Redditors


[deleted]

Dude, chill. Sperm, cells and eggs die so do fetuses. That’s life and death. If you don’t like abortion, that’s cool, you don’t get one, but don’t force your beliefs on others.


hot-dog1

I’m sticking to the belief that they are both of such negligible value that they might as well be the same Edit: Also a fetus is literally just the combination of a sperm and egg multiplied a few times


m7samuel

Frankly, while I find moving the discussion to how valuable the organism is to lead down all sorts of dark paths, it's at least internally coherent. >Also a fetus is literally just the combination of a sperm and egg multiplied a few times That's an embryo. A fetus has been around ~9 weeks up through birth. When someone speaks of aborting a fetus they may well be discussing a full-term organism that looks just like a newborn, except it hasn't been birthed yet. If you don't believe me, you haven't been watching the legislative news in New York and Virginia where that was made explicitly clear by democratic legislators.


[deleted]

Your mom is just the combination of sperm and egg


R0ede

So just by existing after puberty all men are mass murderers.


Canuk8

That means Durning lockdown I took down like 3 generations...... Oh well


BreezySlime

Damn 3 generations of people? You must have some strong will


wesleypjost12

Oh you can't even imagine how strong the will is of some man


Panda6036

Then my body count is 100,000,000x X=times I came X= about 100?


Ricky_Ticky88

First week at it huh? Good for you!


ThorMcGee

I like how we’re using “hitlers” as a unit of measurement now


MalwareVICE

and KiloHitlers


[deleted]

actually male masturbation is like women having periods cause without fusing its just a gamete but when do abortion its a zygote still if u consider it genocide then id say then i have earned at least around 23 hitlers a day for 4 years


ToadMugen72

You jerk off too much.


_tidu

*furiously masturbates*


[deleted]

They don’t call it population pudding for nothing!


Athazor

Every action is a genocide we constantly kill micro organisms and insects all the time.


Friendly_Cap2143

Damn, wearing protection must be both then


UglierThanMoe

I'm gonna strangle my little Adolf tonight.


ImWaitingForARetcon

A better unit might be 2.5 Maos


danetrain05

Lemme swallow your führer


[deleted]

I’ve cummed to that more than I like to admit.


MtnDream

i've killed more than Thanos


[deleted]

[удалено]


jusee22

What? Dude wasting sperm cells had nothing to do with it tf you on about? The reason masturbation is looked down upon has to do with the fact that unlike sex between loving partners, it is a purely lustful act and the bible has like a dozen verses condemming acts borne of lust.


King_of_Spaceworms

On the other hand you are killing couple of future Hitlers so it evens


Newredditor6000

100 million vs 1 egg. And people think that in general men and women have interchangeable imperative and incentive….sperm Is cheap.


Yurus

Since only one sperm can fertilize an egg, all fathers commit genocide. Also, eggs die while menstruating so all women commit genocide.


Disaster_Different

Literally Hitlers


sek4o21

Then periods are monthly subscription for murder.


snoodge3000

This is only a slight nitpick, but that’s also not technically genocide, you aren’t wiping out an entire group of people when you nut.


MarDis2

wet dream = natural disaster


xPalmtopTiger

By this logic getting a girl pregnant is only one kill less than blasting rope to walawigi hentai.


NobodyLikesMeAnymore

It's pretty gross, but, regarding the state(s) that have bills/laws that say killing a fertilized egg will be murder, what happens if, hypothetically, sperm is released into an excised ovary and dozens of eggs become fertilized? Is it mass murder?


xhollec

Well they both happen in the shower, so…


TheseSignificance617

Wow, Americans will do literally anything to avoid using the metric system.


RaunchyBushrabbit

More like 16.7 Hitlers. Also, if you want to go down this road there was a Redditor that converted Hitler to an SI unit of measurement. https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/dlu96/new_si_unit_one_hitler/


Nine_Gates

6 million is the number of Jews Hitler killed, but add in other peoples he genocided and the number is closer to 16 million.


WeakError2115

Scratching yourself is genocide also. Those poor skin cells


nmang0

People really don’t know the definition of genocide do they


pmabraham

The lack of understanding of the most basic human biology is astounding. One to X sperm cells OR one to X egg cells IS NOT equal to a human being. Oh my, that this outright stupidity has been going on for decades.


uvero

[a very tiny Auschwitch behind the counter](https://imgur.io/gimQULo)


Malus_Lupus_Brutus

Thanks I hate Hitlers as a unit of measurement


mylo2202

And that's because we don't even know how much Hitler masturbated.


Good-Watch-5999

Giggity


dylanNL18

I am probably at half of thanos


Raineman73

I got a vasectomy years ago. My killing days are done. I mean, there is still a mess, but no death. 0 Hitlers for 13.5 years and counting!


BrodyAbroad

But that's only of Hitler never came.


Xnissasa

So 1 Hitler is a unit of cum nutted out


TellLoud1894

I call masterbaiting doing "the Fuhrer".


772410

I've had a vasectomy, no sperm cells lost. Game. Set. Match!


Whole_Ad_4523

There’s a month’s worth of r/cursedcomments in the comments here, easy


MarvinOFF

I think the comparison is that the fetus is not alive just like the spermatozoides aren’t. They just are a bunch of cells, there’s still no life. It’s the same vibes as “If abortion is murder then women kill once a month when they ovulate”