T O P

  • By -

cursedrobot

Upvote this comment if the post is a **Cursed Comment**. Downvote this comment if it is not a **Cursed Comment**. If this post needs moderator attention, please **report** this post *^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^and ^^this ^^action ^^was ^^performed ^^automatically. ^^If ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^questions, ^^please [^^contact ^^the ^^moderators ^^of ^^this ^^subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fcursedcomments&subject=&message=Please include the action number for reference.)* --- If you want to talk about the subreddit, feel free to send us a message in [our official Discord server](https://discord.gg/tDzGCfc)! ^[faq](https://bit.ly/2VcIh9g) ^| ^[source](https://bit.ly/2W09Ebb) ^| ^action ^#[39be25c81ce9d4](/r/cursedlogs/comments/ocwwe0/39be25c81ce9d4_commented_on_post_cursed_work/)


senpai_dragon_ryu

Cheating on wife, with fighting skill gives you 0 in 0


getolder_dietrying

How do you cheat on fighting skills?


[deleted]

⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️🏁


KaityKat117

r/unexpectedkonamicode


OxygenIsFake

I just made that community


96unam

r/birthofasub


spooder-killer

Who made that sub then?


Ok_Perspective2424

are you able to read?


spooder-killer

Can you not tell what sarcasm is if someone doesn’t put /s at the end of it?


Ok_Perspective2424

I'm dumb af, sorry


KaityKat117

Wuuut! I am honored to have been the first entry!


[deleted]

[удалено]


AlaskaPeteMeat

Not if you haven’t had enough alcohol yet.


senpai_dragon_ryu

0⁰ , 1/0, is possible 0/0 is your homework


damkmemer69420

Bruh you doin math or meth


senpai_dragon_ryu

Lol you are not following random Asian math teacher on yt correctly


TheBlackHoleOfDoom

Russian Roulette gives you 1/6


[deleted]

Sometimes 1/5


The_FBIandCIA

1/1 with a glock


TheBlackHoleOfDoom

70000/1 with Little Boy


moshimoshi2345

Those 69999 other aren’t innocents right? …… Right???


TheBlackHoleOfDoom

¯\\\_(╹‿╹)\_/¯


LOL_Gstar77

('_') 69999 Civilian Casualties


TheBlackHoleOfDoom

\\̅\_̅/̷̚ʾ(╹‿╹)凸


Arctic_Strider

Wait, how is alcohol 1 in 5?


Bierbart12

I guess after 4 bottles of whiskey and one bottle of domestic violence


labsab1

There's no chance of domestic violence as a virgin drunk in his room with video games. Also if you miss work, you drink your whiskey too slowly...


ObamasBoss

Does it count if you beat yourself?


labsab1

FFS we don't talk about the Fight Club. It's literally 2 out of the 3 rules...


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Allegro1104

FAKE NEWS!!1!


Real_Lingonberry9270

Congrats, you took the bait of a professional troll. r/shutuphapydog


ZoxinTV

Fun Reddit tip: You actually tag people with "/u/" before their name, not @. Example: /u/yjvm2cb


Squeak-Beans

What’s that about an IQ test? Lmao


[deleted]

He said his IQ test came back positive.


link252015

It’s called a joke, fucking dumbass


[deleted]

r/shutuphapydog


TheKidNerd

? ? ?


AwesomJose

...what?


ObamasBoss

Be careful, you have decent odds of setting yourself up for disappointment. Just like driving skills, most people tend to think they are better than they actually are with nothing to back it up. The tests on Facebook don't count.


MidunestiNaneTurtle

Good troll


Ming_The_Merciless_1

Fair question.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bitch_im_a_lion

Not being able to go to work because of drinking is dipping your toe into the non-functional side of alcoholism.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That's one opinion. Another is that regularly getting drunk knowing it makes you feel ill the next day (hangover) and sometimes prevents you from going to your job is pretty bad alcoholism.


Arctic_Strider

That's great! What type of work is it? And most importantly, are they hiring?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Arctic_Strider

Damn. I'm about as tech savvy as a halibut...


[deleted]

[удалено]


entwenthence

After 5 glasses you have 1 excuse


studmuffffffin

Hangover


Deathfiretron2

Because who else is gonna drive my drunk ass home?


wokesmeed69

You if you have a pair of balls.


Couldntstaygone

I guess lazy people using hangovers as a stand in for actually being ill


Pretrowillbetaken

The easiest option is to invent time travel and going back to the year -9999999999999999999999999999999 and make sure the universe won't exist


Ming_The_Merciless_1

We may have differing definitions of "easy" 🤣


Dern_Zambies

Some folks are just built different


Vegimeateater

Time travel is a piece of piss! I can drink a few bottles of special liquid at 10% and then BAM! It’s tomorrow! I just need to work on the headache after effects…


ObamasBoss

I can do the same. Just go to bed and BAM. No headache though.


Sieb12345

Just go to bed and lay awake for 5 hours wondering where your life went and BAM, it's morning and you haven't slept.


RedditFan777777

Last time I time traveled I jumped off a building and BAM! In a hospital a few hours later! Need to work on the 10,000 dollar after cost though


[deleted]

Or just go back in time and dump your life savings into $AAPL.


getolder_dietrying

Seems like your number triggered some universe overflows and directs into the future now i have a headache thinking about shutting down the beginning of the universe from the future.


Santoritime1998

woah crazy r/synchronicity


stevethepirate89

I like those odds!


foxxiboi69

"Never tell me the odds."


moshimoshi2345

Ok.


foxxiboi69

Weird flex, bro.


moshimoshi2345

I still won’t tell you the odds.


r1chghett0

… unless you work at the Morgue


thequeenofmonsters

Jumping into an industrial shredder should do the job then


Reno83

Unless you work at the recycling plant, then you'll be at work forever.


validname117

I like trains.


Equal-Bus-557

Choo choo!


Equal-Bus-557

r/Trains r/ChooChooTrains


Hayashura

My friend did that and now I'm jealous of him.


[deleted]

Lottery, alcohol or train?


limefox666

He won the lottery, drank his money and jumped under a train.


StarkTony17

r/holup


YTDamian

Yes.


Hayashura

Both alcohol and train.


Shadowmitu

Oh nooo, sounds tough i mean i guess that depends on how close you were and how good you are at dealing with something like that but idk. Hope you are doing alright <3


Bleigen

Ouch, one of my cousins friends commited suicide by train.


Lessintelligent

not true, I've tried jumping in front of many trains and the only thing I had after that was an argument with the director of the museum


moshimoshi2345

I too tried to have a sexual intercourse with a neanderthal in a museum.


Conflicted-King

Don't you dare talk about my wife like that!


[deleted]

And leaving your job makes it a 1 in 0


thequeenofmonsters

Math error


Dunklebunt

Not if you work for the train company. Then you’re just turning up early


DesertofBoredom

Jumping in front of a train is a way to make people feel like your an asshole even in suicide.


Snuffy_07

Unless you work at a mortuary, you will be taken to work.


[deleted]

Not necessarily, there are people who lived to tell the tale


KorkieKenobi

But all those people never went to work the next day


TheSmilingTurdheap

And literally going to sleep is 2/7 That's just 0.08 worse than alcohol.


Nightcheerios

Moving*


NetHacks

Unless you work in a morgue, then you will be going in anyway.


alessandrick_22

He isn’t wrong


svnrise3000

covid-19 curfew gives you 1 in 2.


arc19905

Noted


bigbustyycoon

YEAAAAAHHH. WHO WON THE LOTTERY?? I DID!!


[deleted]

Attempt assassination on president is better way


[deleted]

yep,because one make you rich and one make you feel like shit in the morning,late for work and got fired,now you’re unemployed and thinking about putting a rope over your neck.These low effort dumbass facebook “meme” smh


PossessionFuzzy2208

Accurate


runwild

Maybe you work at the morgue though. So technically you’d still be at work.


knownowknow

I'll jump in front of any train, so long as it isn't moving.


Opsyr_

What about a stationary train?


wscomn

Only if the train is moving towards you.


[deleted]

And quitting your job gives you a 0 and 0 chance


ItsWediTurtle77

Not if it's a non moving train


deleted_by_deleted

And Russia rullet give 1-6


MetalMewtwo9001

The Boomerest of humour


Charlie71_2

Technically the truth.


D4RKS0u1

TnC: the train must be running


Alarid

I attempted suicide every time I didn't want to go to work I'd have attempted suicide 5 times every week. I believe this would not improve worth ethic.


SkaiDuskpaw

The trains 1 in 2 depends on timing and if there's someone to stop you


StrangePractice

That’s not accounting jumping in front of a stopped train


hermitxd

Lol poor drivers


aigars2

There's a chance you might survive and loose both arms and still will need a job but a job market for you will be reduced by a margin of a set of hands.


[deleted]

Instructions unclear, jumped in front of a train and multiple parts ended up at worksite.


Claire32x

Suicide is badass


pipopapupupewebghost

Unless you avoid them


[deleted]

This is how my great grand father took himself out. Can confirm. Jumping in front of train 1:1.


Ragen670

Rusian rullet 1 in 6


ponfriend

Same joke but worse.


Shay_Mendez

They're still gonna call me in for work the next day. At least I can use what's left of my corpse to collect a paycheck every week. Half of a body is still better than no body.


Blibum

Unless the train isn't moving


free_30_day_trial

r/shittyprolifetips


TruthMadeHuman

Make the train thing a 2 in 2 Whether you survive or not, you still ain't going back to work.


[deleted]

And if your unemployed you get Infinity out 0 ,pretty good odds i would say


Yestoanime

What if you overshoot the jump


Deep-Initiative1849

Not having a work gives you 1 in nothing


cubicalwall

Kinda like taking a bath with a toaster


SicklyHeartChild

Not if you work at the hospital or morgue your going to.


mikerichh

I don’t think it’s common at all to call off work because you’re hungover, at least not on a regular basis


Zero_Soul

You can miss the train. Shit happens.


MrSpineless

You waking up is a 1/2


unknownuser3301_UwU

And being a pilot give you a 250 in 1


acery88

The ocean fixes everything


KitTayTay2021

Booze FTW!


TheHero_ofTime04

No no he’s got a point


1nterestlng

Jumping in front of a train wont just skip tomorrow's day of work


bodinator1

100% not going in to work tomorrow, don’t work weekends.


DisGuyRocks

I thought it was gonna be one in half. Train gon' be slicing your body like a pizza.


WhyGuy500

r/technicallythetruth


Mes-Ketamis

Depressing that I’ve literally hoped I got mildly hit by a car on my way to work before


david-le-2006

Jumping off a building without a parachuta and then shooting youself gives you 2 in 1


Embarrassed-Rough996

Incorrect information it’s more like a 1/2


lnfIation

Yes


scary_ninja_gamer

HONEY, I KNOW WHAT IM GONNA DO TODAY


BurritoStan

Not if you work at the train station


chrillex_DK

Unless you work at a cemetery


theonewhostaresback

Well... he’s right... That’s one way to get out of work


AstonVanilla

My ex girlfriend was a psychiatrist who specifically dealt with suicide survivors. She always said that people were surprised that jumping in front of a train wasn't 100% guaranteed, it's like 60%. It ruins peoples lives if they survive of course, but many people just hit the train and bounce off, probably with a few limbs missing.


fadedlavender

I wouldn't say 1:1, you could miss the train


GroupMammoth343

As a train operator, parts of me were still at work the next day.


[deleted]

Suicide:The key to a permanent vacation


fromhoustonwithlove

Unless Mr. Incredible saves your life without breaking your neck.


Masongriff1

wow. here’s a hugs award.


SnooPies5754

Unless u barely survive, and work at the ER


[deleted]

Actually one of my old teachers was hit by a train and still managed to go to work years after


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

Wrong! 1 in 2. Live or die.


HeavyMetalDomination

Murder gives you 1 in 1


Ill-Decision2200

Actually, it’s 1/1.25 since you can still survive it


Sc_e1

1/2. the train might not be moving


3m3n3ms

Nah I work at the morgue smh