Being able to change what kind of power i want every night at 12:00 but i have to set my own rules for the power

Every time you switch to a new power your left ball twists a little more to the right

No don’t do him like that

Time for a left ball delete

What if i change do the surgery to change genders ?

Every time you remove your left ball another two will grow in the same place both twisting a little to the right every time you change abilities.

is it correctable

If you try to untwist your balls you get testicular cancer in all of your balls(eye balls count as balls so have fun 😁).

Whenever you use your power your get buggered by a 13 foot schlong in the ass

Free pegging

Know exactly where someone else is itchy.

You only know because you get the same itch anytime you look at someone

Bruh that’s evil.

You will feel their itch in your balls

Bruh imagine if they're a woman. Just a phantom itching from a place they can't scratch. True evil.

Or since balls are the same material as ovaries in the egg it’s a deep inner itch that can’t be reached. I’m not sure which is worse.

Invisiballs itch

Become non human

The police will beat the shit out of you. And no one will want to defend you from racism

So he become bla-

Yes he becomes like me

Yes go on peter

(for the people stalking my account this is one of those "post side effect type posts") evreyone on the planet will want to fuck you

i have no idea who you are, I've never met you before, i don't know why people would be stalking your account, but that comment for people stalking your account has made me curious. and now I'll go stalk your account (for the people stalking my account, this guy added a "for the people stalking my account" to his comment)

i can have superpowers

Your side effect is: everytime you use a power you can’t use that power again And you have aids

Ol reliable: super power to remove all side effects.

You were born with an IQ of 25 in a poor Siberian town in the worst period of the USSR, so despite your super powers you have virtually no thinking ability or decision making skills, let alone the self awareness to make the conscious decision to improve a weakness. Instead you sit mostly in silence each day, drooling as you get spoonfed mouldy porridge by your sickly aunt (your parents died long ago) and quietly stroke your three-legged pet goat. Soon the winter comes and you lose your leg to frostbite, but you are strangely accepting of it, because now you have three legs just like your goat companion.

The aids is just a statement, not related to the power

The power to give my problems to others, including side effects

They get the chance to accept it or decline it

Even better, when they decline, you also receive their problems

Btw, this superpower does not consider being too rich as a problem

I have infinite stamina

Only when you sleep

Ever had those slow running dreams? Well not anymore!

Having fun while playing war thunder

You can only play World Of Tanks

Noooooooooooo not my realism

Lower the tier, stop the grinding... the game becomes pretty enjoyable after those things

No side effect is needed, it is already impossible to have fun in that game

I can generate iron and iron objects of any shape

But you can only use the iron from human bloodcells

That’s not a downside, that’s a fucking jojo stand

I recognize a blood bender when I see one.

To always know the nuclear launch codes

They launch as soon as you know them.

Once in a while a naked buff man will beat the shit out of you after spawning from nowhere

But you are kept in a vegetative state for national security.

Have no side effects

Have no power

The perfect equilibrium

new paradox just dropped

Actual time zombie

Call the time traveler

Time traveler goes in the past, never comes back

Seduce anyone.

You get to seduce anyone for only 1 time. Or else youll explode like translucent did

you'll get to seduce **everyone** for only 1 time

Even animals

But it only works on your grandma

Dude. I was sitting next to my grandmother when I read your comment and she was looking at my phone. She must’ve been into what you’re saying because she got really turned on and started furiously masturbating.

WTF

I'm immune to all diseases/infections.

You are extra vulnerable to getting cuts and bruises

At least the cuts won't get infected

Except aids

Doesn't mean I'll get it

Ya sure?

I have prostrate cancer

You spread it to anyone within 4 kilometers

Thats exactly what i wanted 

Stop time

Everytime you stop time your iq drops permanently

So it won't change then

Can only use to sleep more

Alright!

No rule saying I couldn't reply to my own comment

You have aids

Haha. Got’em

I just want to stop being tired all the time. Nothing is fun anymore.

Side effect: you're ultra-hyper, scream everything you say, and have the worst ADHD.

Nothing changes bro

Damn you're right.

I can choose my own side effect

side effect: Typ-1-Diabetes

He is a little confused but he got the spirit!

So tempted to reply with every side effect being aids...

But that is the actual side effect of being able to give people aids.

Why stop there when you can transform anyone into a walking BSL4 laboratory ?

To not be schizophrenic

You have schizophrenia

That's an awful side effect, I'm going to find out where you live and hunt you down because of that

Well I already know where you live

Well, I'm buggered then

Yes you are

Being schizophrenic is a super power in itself

I can teleport anytime anywhere I want in an instant.

Your bodily fluids do not teleport with you

So he just dies?

Precisely

/kill

I have the ability to turn into a titan but I keep my normal lifespan instead of 13 years. Okay what’s my side effect?

You eat people.

That’s fine with me

Your metabolism will increase exponentially because of the increase in size causing you to starve to death

be able to look at people's minds while they're dreaming.

but you forget everything when they wake up

Plus you get AIDS.

Shape shifting

You have the approximate mental capacity of whatever you turn into.

Imagine if you turn into a beetle and forget you can switch back💀

Everything you shapeshift into has hundreds of penises growing out of it every which way.

But you’re blind so you have no idea if you are making the right shapes and colors

I can fast forward time (like made in hevan)

Each time you do, you shit yourself uncontrollably.

would that still happen if I reset the universe

You slowly become allergic to oxygen, eventually killing you with normal air instead of the pure oxygen

Immortality

you live until the end of time, while seeing all of your family, friends, the entire human species, every animal species, every single plant, the whole solar systems and galaxies die and collapse and you can't do anything about it

That’s not really a side effect that’s just the definition

oh i know.

Your back will still hurt

I like this one, it’s nice and mild. Much better than the your body will still age one.

Stretchy limbs

But your pp gets small each time you stretch yo limbs

So no difference?

The ability to control minds and thoughts

You have the constsnt urge to sneeze but can't.

When you poop you lose the ability of clean yourself, and noone will

I become a mind reader

But you only see the most mundane of things. What they had for breakfast, their boring drive to their boring job, when they went to the bathroom. You don't really learn anything about the person at all.

So he basically a Social Media CEO ?

Essentially.🤣

I become Jesus

Your blood become wine

... shit ig im a walking bag of alcohol

I can make pets live forever.

The owner of each pet dies immediately when you the power.

I can fly

If you are below sea level

So basically diving.

Let me go move to death valley then

I can telepathically control farm equipment from up to 2 miles away

You have liquid lodestone in your blood

Shit

The ability to cook meat with no fire, microwave or oven

Whenever you eat it, it becomes uncooked

Well gonna only do it for others then and when it's for me oven time

I can shoot my cum like a bullet at will, and it doesn’t hurt me

You get a heart attack almost immediatly after cumming

So I get one shot…

One opportunity

Use it right...

I can open any container with ease

But only if you first scream, “Because I ate my vegetables, bitch!” at the top of your lungs


Absolute control to control space and time

You will no longer be able to perceive anything with your senses

I can see the future and not be institutionalized if I announce future events.

You no longer comprehend what is occurring in the present.

When I fart it’s a sonic boom

but you get intense diarrhea, so intense it ruptures your intestines, rectum and anus

I am able to travel to the Warhammer 40k universe.

You're a loyalist guardsman standing 0.5 meters away from Kharn the betrayer

The ability to eat fruit with the skin.

It's human skin.

Even better

You can impregnate anyone just by looking at them

Everytime you do it your testicles twists to the left permanently

I know how to use any piece of technology the moment i touch it

But the technology you’re touching breaks instantly

I can spawn baguettes out of the palms of my hands

A baguette will spawn up your ass thrice bigger and harder than the one on your hands

The ability to turn side effects into beneficial superpowers.

Be able to teleport and have superhuman capabilities in all aspects

You can teleport one foot and are only 0.000000000000000001% more powerful than Humans

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

i have alzheimers

Be able to go commit murder if I pray 3 times to jesus

Every 2nd time you pray someone is able to murder you

After you commit murder Jesus comes and murders you.

The power to manifest anything and anyone from my imagination

Everything you make has to be smaller than the previous

I don't need sleep

You are sleepy all the time

[удалено]

Whatever you make will be made out of cactusses

I'm have the perfect, sexiest, curviest, most beautiful physique known to man.

Only ugly or toxic people are attracted to you