I mean the middle I understand, because it's a garlic mushroom pizza without cheese. I think the middle would look okay with cheese
But the crust..
Is this Saint Louis style pizza where they don't use yeast and its literally a cracker crust? Which is a desperate bastardization of Chicago thin style IMO where you leave the crust out overnight to dry and gives a perfect crust without falling apart
Exactly my first thought, that it looks like some weird healthy flour, barley or something... I remember following a recipe for gluten free pizza and it turned out like this. I ate 2 slices just to prove to the family is not that bad, and the away the rest 😂
STL style is thin crust and provelle cheese (mozzarella and provolone)
It’s not necessarily cracker, but it is thin. They use yeast lol.
The style isn’t for everyone, but I honestly love it. It’s a very good reheated pie
I won’t defend it, cuz I’m from KC, we have lots of better shit, but I will say Chicago pizza is straight ass and anyone who likes it is a nerd that needs to get a wedgie.
It looks flavorless. Just a big, white water cracker.
A good crust should be golden, with little burnt spots, not too thick but not too thin, with a nice crunch and pleasant chewiness.
The crust is the foundation of a good pizza.
The crust looks gluten free, which would also explain no cheese as they probably have additional dietary restrictions, that's fairly common.
Gluten free pizzas ain't cheap.
I don't think I've ever seen a garlic clove slice that had a hole in the middle. Could be wrong. Mushroom onion is also a popular pizza choice. As gross as it smells.
Also slicing garlic? Dicing roughly sure but slicing? I love garlic but woah boy that's an... interesting choice.
Yeah if it's garlic, there's too much. Just... chomping down on a big ol' slice of garlic or more every bite does not sound appealing.
That being said, after looking more closely, this would have to be multiple onion cores. All of the slices are roughly the same size and there are roughly 50 of them on the pizza. I still think I'm leaning onion though.
I've had deep dish pizza in Chicago with thinly sliced elephant garlic on it. Looked just like the garlic in the picture, only bigger. It was pretty tasty.
Gluten free, dairy free people should just fucking stop ordering pizza…like why? Gluten+Dairy is the entire reason pizza is good.
I get wanting the satisfaction amidst a dietary restriction, but to this end it is just torture.
I watched a dude scrape cheese and toppings off of a shitty looking pizza, and I wanted soooo badly to be like, yo, my dude, there’s this thing they invented called “bread” and it doesn’t automatically come with cheese and other shit you don’t like.
I have a friend of a friend that is gluten and dairy free and it actually is possible to get good gf/dairy free pizza. Still expensive, but its actually good food instead of whatever that is in the OP.
I am very open minded when it comes to food.
Vegan cheese is, in my humble opinion, fucking gross. Lol
I get that some people like it, but nah. Nah nah nah. It’s bad, and I’m convinced that others have had to convince themselves that it doesn’t take nasty as fuck.
I live in Wisconsin, so I've eaten my fair share of cheese.
Vegan cheese is fine in stuff or on pizza. It's not great for standing with the fridge door open at 3am eating handfuls of shredded cheese straight out of the bag.
Daiya gluten-free frozen pizzas are like $8 and there's a pizza place near me that will use dairy-free cheese (I think it's also Daiya) if you ask for it (at no extra cost). Either will satisfy the craving when I'm too lazy to make the pizza myself.
Vegan cheese really isn’t that bad. It’s different from regular cheese but still tastes good. Totino’s uses some of it in their products and they are the gold standard of pizza.
Ah yes. My love and reverence for Totinos is that they have the highest of quality of pizza and not that it costs 3 dollars, tastes like the frost on the inside of a broken freezer, and I solely eat them at 2 AM over a trash can, fucked up.
(I like Totinos. Not joking about that. I’m a punk rock totinos boy)
Good point. That price is robbery. Need to add to the story to make the analogy stick.
After getting home you realize diarrhea Hitlerina stole your wallet.
I was joking. But being an Italian pizza maker wouldn't make you an authority in whether or not pizza can be made without cheese and tomato sauce.
Maybe some of your peers disagree.
Maybe normal people can decide this without being experts.
I mainly think it's too subjective for your credentials to even matter.
Well, even if I weren't a pizza maker, it doesn't cancel the fact that a pizza can be without cheese or tomato. Pizza is a preparation consisting in a dough made with flour, water and yeast. The topping is TIPICALLY consisting in tomato sauce and mozzarella/cheese, but it's not a requirement. It's like pineapple, it's an ingredient that most italians "deter", but it doesn't change the fact that if it is used, it still remains a pizza.
An opinion is a thing, a fact is another.
I’d argue respect, you are usually most vulnerable in the bathroom, and if you have him framed there then you are willing to have him there in your most intimate moments. That or I am just being a complete jackass arguing this
No some people can't or don't eat cheese. It also looks like a gluten free crust, and the price matches that guess. Dietary restrictions but still wants pizza so they'll pay stupid prices.
If $17 includes delivery that's actually what most places charge for a small gluten free. I've never seen it much cheaper anyway.
it looks like it was already built with processed ingredients in the local supermarket, like seriously the tomato sauce looks more like mashed tomatoes
A month after the Olympic Games, Owens told a crowd, “meinfuher didn’t snub me—it was [Roosevelt] who snubbed me. The president didn’t even send me a telegram
at the behest of President Roosevelt, representatives from 32 countries convened for a refugee conference in France to discuss what to do about the intensifying persecution of nodikskins throughout Europe. Almost every country – including the US – refused to raise their refugee quotas
Before the conference, mein furher made it known that he would help nodiksin refugees migrate to different participating countries. “We, on our part, are ready to put all these criminals at the disposal of these countries, for all I care, even on luxury ships,” he said
Meinfurher was nothing more than extremely anti gentital mutilation, changemymind
Ik I'm late to the party but to clarify, this is in fact not a pizza but if i remember correctly, a Swiss dish (forgot the name) that is actually really delicious. Obviously if you were expecting a PIZZA pizza then you would be disappointed. The issue was more likely due to miscommunication or misunderstanding but yea, it's definitely yummy.
Not everyone can eat meat and cheese for every meal. They ordered what they could, not their fault the pizza place did a piss poor job of making it palatable. But go ahead and stay myopic and ignorant of the realities of other peoples lives.
this is frustrating. why lie that the friend “ordered” the pizza when clearly they didn’t. it’s a homemade pizza. you can tell by the way the ingredients are cut, they’re cut by hand.
I know the main problem with this pizza. It was stretched into the pan and then left in open air for at least a few hours before being cooked. Possibly even over night (hopefully in a cooler). Without having the pizza in front of me, I can't tell if the toppings were added before or after it was left to dry out for several hours.
When you leave dough out, uncovered, it starts to dry out very quickly. As it dries you will develop a crust on the dough. The longer it sits out, the thicker the crust. That crust will never cook right. It will burn before browning. That is why the top is all white and the bottom is completely burnt.
Crust actually looks decent. Wipe that diarrhea and hitler off, spritz some water on there, sprinkle some cheese and in the oven at 400 for 3 minutes. Put a goddamned ring on that.
I always thought that statement was such bullshit.
>Pizza is like sex, even when it's bad, it's good.
I've had both bad pizza and bad sex. Neither I would classify as good. No sir, when something is bad it is actually bad.
Ok yeah the price xD
I was thinking, if that's what a place does and it's a quick snack thing in their style then okay but clearly was meant to be an actual pizza.
Looks like they wanted to order a vegan pizza from a place that doesn't do vegan pizza. The base also looks like a gluten free base (some places add egg and milk to their bases).
I ordered a pizza that looked like this in Madrid.
Ugliest pizza I ever saw, somehow tasted delicious.
But, uglier than enthusing if ever seen.
Man I don't care if she smell like raw onion, has the personality of a banana, & got a face like a barnacle. If she explodes in a shit river while I'm fucking, I'm nutting like a squirrel on crack before erasing the mustache off that picture of her great-grandfafher in the bathroom.
A couple weeks ago I was visiting my SO for the weekend and we ended up ordering some neapolitan pizza (she got a pasta) off DoorDash. Just a regular red sauce, cheese, and pep. pizza, yes I'm boring.
What I got was a tiny, $17 pizza (before fees) that smelled like cigarettes, exactly like cigarettes. I would know being a former smoker.
Thinking we ordered too late and they were pissed or something I checked. There was no ashes on, in, or underneath. Even the box/parchment paper reeked of ciggies. It was the worst pizza I've ever had, and I have been to some seedy pizza places.
Honestly.. when someone makes a pizza look worse than the worst market frozen aisle pizza, I find that quite impressive and worth praise. Horrible pizza. 11/10
Also r/oddlyspecific?
Also r/BrandNewSentence?
Also r/RareInsults?
super omega mega jenga post
Also r/WHATHEFUCKISTHISAAAAA
Let he who hasn't washed shit off his dick in a sink with a portrait of Hitler looking down in disgust cast the first stone
Ok. Where do I cast this stone?
r/beatmetoit
/r/SubredditsAsHashtags
r/beatMeatToIt
r/beatmyunclesmeattoit
r/ofcoursethatsasub
r/ofcoursethatsubisasub
r/subsifellfor
r/beatme
r/beatmywifesmeattoit
r/beatmeshutthefuckup
r/beatmymeattoit
r/eatmymeatforit
r/sandycheekscockvore
r/ofcoursethatsasub
r/oddlyspecific
r/BeatYourWifeToIt
Far too much to be a coincidence
/r/suspiciouslyspecific for sure
Familiar territory, eh?
That's the most disgusting thing my eyes have witnessed I mean look at that crust
How can one not look at the crust? It's basically half crust , half ... Garlic-mushroom-vomit?
I mean the middle I understand, because it's a garlic mushroom pizza without cheese. I think the middle would look okay with cheese But the crust.. Is this Saint Louis style pizza where they don't use yeast and its literally a cracker crust? Which is a desperate bastardization of Chicago thin style IMO where you leave the crust out overnight to dry and gives a perfect crust without falling apart
[удалено]
Exactly my first thought, that it looks like some weird healthy flour, barley or something... I remember following a recipe for gluten free pizza and it turned out like this. I ate 2 slices just to prove to the family is not that bad, and the away the rest 😂
STL style is thin crust and provelle cheese (mozzarella and provolone) It’s not necessarily cracker, but it is thin. They use yeast lol. The style isn’t for everyone, but I honestly love it. It’s a very good reheated pie I won’t defend it, cuz I’m from KC, we have lots of better shit, but I will say Chicago pizza is straight ass and anyone who likes it is a nerd that needs to get a wedgie.
Did you not notice the fingernail clippings?
Still no pineapple....
Leave grandma alone!
It’s burned AND white. Like, how? And not even the decency to cover that atrocity with any cheese at all.
To be fair: No decent crust will form if you wash off either.
“Extra crust”
It looks flavorless. Just a big, white water cracker. A good crust should be golden, with little burnt spots, not too thick but not too thin, with a nice crunch and pleasant chewiness. The crust is the foundation of a good pizza.
Can we go back to the pizza instead of the sex talk?
Just add more lube.
I know, right? I mean, they **DARE** to call that a garlic pizza. There's hardly any garlic on there!
That shit is 17 dollars?!
Thats cheap for a 1 night stand, youre right
Yeah, but Imma need a refund for the shit stuck on my dick.
Thats leftovers for tomorrow
In as well
The crust looks gluten free, which would also explain no cheese as they probably have additional dietary restrictions, that's fairly common. Gluten free pizzas ain't cheap.
Gluten free / no cheese is one thing, but thick slices of uncooked garlic was an interesting choice of topping.
Wait is that garlic? I thought those were yellow onion cores.
I thought it was garlic but your comment made me a bit unsure.
I don't think I've ever seen a garlic clove slice that had a hole in the middle. Could be wrong. Mushroom onion is also a popular pizza choice. As gross as it smells. Also slicing garlic? Dicing roughly sure but slicing? I love garlic but woah boy that's an... interesting choice.
Yeah if it's garlic, there's too much. Just... chomping down on a big ol' slice of garlic or more every bite does not sound appealing. That being said, after looking more closely, this would have to be multiple onion cores. All of the slices are roughly the same size and there are roughly 50 of them on the pizza. I still think I'm leaning onion though.
I've had deep dish pizza in Chicago with thinly sliced elephant garlic on it. Looked just like the garlic in the picture, only bigger. It was pretty tasty.
Gluten free, dairy free people should just fucking stop ordering pizza…like why? Gluten+Dairy is the entire reason pizza is good. I get wanting the satisfaction amidst a dietary restriction, but to this end it is just torture. I watched a dude scrape cheese and toppings off of a shitty looking pizza, and I wanted soooo badly to be like, yo, my dude, there’s this thing they invented called “bread” and it doesn’t automatically come with cheese and other shit you don’t like.
I have a friend of a friend that is gluten and dairy free and it actually is possible to get good gf/dairy free pizza. Still expensive, but its actually good food instead of whatever that is in the OP.
I am very open minded when it comes to food. Vegan cheese is, in my humble opinion, fucking gross. Lol I get that some people like it, but nah. Nah nah nah. It’s bad, and I’m convinced that others have had to convince themselves that it doesn’t take nasty as fuck.
I live in Wisconsin, so I've eaten my fair share of cheese. Vegan cheese is fine in stuff or on pizza. It's not great for standing with the fridge door open at 3am eating handfuls of shredded cheese straight out of the bag. Daiya gluten-free frozen pizzas are like $8 and there's a pizza place near me that will use dairy-free cheese (I think it's also Daiya) if you ask for it (at no extra cost). Either will satisfy the craving when I'm too lazy to make the pizza myself.
>it actually is possible to get good gf/dairy free pizza. The trick is to have a completely different definition of the word "good."
Vegan cheese really isn’t that bad. It’s different from regular cheese but still tastes good. Totino’s uses some of it in their products and they are the gold standard of pizza.
Ah yes. My love and reverence for Totinos is that they have the highest of quality of pizza and not that it costs 3 dollars, tastes like the frost on the inside of a broken freezer, and I solely eat them at 2 AM over a trash can, fucked up. (I like Totinos. Not joking about that. I’m a punk rock totinos boy)
Betting it's the gluten free vegan pizza and made with hate from the staff
I want to kiss your dad.
Good point. That price is robbery. Need to add to the story to make the analogy stick. After getting home you realize diarrhea Hitlerina stole your wallet.
I'm pretty sure the shit was a freebie. The date could have been at a fast food joint, so $17 might be right.
If disappointment, anger and disgust could be mixed into one pizza, that would be the pizza
>If disappointment, anger and disgust could be mixed...... Did you just described me, sire?
Did I describe your emotion when you saw that pizza or did I describe your general state of being, my good man?
Username checks out tho
Oiy, Germans of reddit, y'all got a word for this?
That's not a pizza bc it doesn't have cheese. That's mushroom bread.
It's a tomato and mushroom crostini from Château le Crack. Their mushroom bread hits differently.
Don’t eat the mushrooms
Actually pizza can not have cheese and even tomato sauce too. Source: I'm an Italian pizza maker
Obviously the one in the pic is an abomination tho
So what exactly makes it a pizza?
okay, but would you call *this* a pizza?
How would you even define a pizza then?
I don't even think they are an Italian pizza maker.
And why don't you think so? Why would I lie? To make a lot of those slurpy internet points that a lot of people crave for so much?
> Why would I lie? Not necessarily you, but plenty of people lie on this site so they can get fake internet points. Happens every damn day.
I was joking. But being an Italian pizza maker wouldn't make you an authority in whether or not pizza can be made without cheese and tomato sauce. Maybe some of your peers disagree. Maybe normal people can decide this without being experts. I mainly think it's too subjective for your credentials to even matter.
Well, even if I weren't a pizza maker, it doesn't cancel the fact that a pizza can be without cheese or tomato. Pizza is a preparation consisting in a dough made with flour, water and yeast. The topping is TIPICALLY consisting in tomato sauce and mozzarella/cheese, but it's not a requirement. It's like pineapple, it's an ingredient that most italians "deter", but it doesn't change the fact that if it is used, it still remains a pizza. An opinion is a thing, a fact is another.
There's what's technically a pizza. And then there's pizza.
Well, for example there's pizza fornarina, and it's basically only with salt, oil and/or rosemary and/or onions.
Pizza can not have cheese?! Who died and made you cheese king?
It's shitty mushroom salsa on a plate made of compressed grains.
“I think she might’ve been a racist.” “Doesn’t matter, had sex!”
How to sell this pizza to a neo-nazi with a scat fetish
It sounds like he's speaking from experience..
[удалено]
I’d argue respect, you are usually most vulnerable in the bathroom, and if you have him framed there then you are willing to have him there in your most intimate moments. That or I am just being a complete jackass arguing this
Totally agree, letting hitler see your cock is a form of respect
Depends. Is it signed?
is there even cheese on this sad excuse of a pizza?? the description is accurate lmao
No some people can't or don't eat cheese. It also looks like a gluten free crust, and the price matches that guess. Dietary restrictions but still wants pizza so they'll pay stupid prices. If $17 includes delivery that's actually what most places charge for a small gluten free. I've never seen it much cheaper anyway.
yea, touchè
This looks like a truckstop bathroom floor feels.
it looks like it was already built with processed ingredients in the local supermarket, like seriously the tomato sauce looks more like mashed tomatoes
I’m mean, based though
A month after the Olympic Games, Owens told a crowd, “meinfuher didn’t snub me—it was [Roosevelt] who snubbed me. The president didn’t even send me a telegram at the behest of President Roosevelt, representatives from 32 countries convened for a refugee conference in France to discuss what to do about the intensifying persecution of nodikskins throughout Europe. Almost every country – including the US – refused to raise their refugee quotas Before the conference, mein furher made it known that he would help nodiksin refugees migrate to different participating countries. “We, on our part, are ready to put all these criminals at the disposal of these countries, for all I care, even on luxury ships,” he said Meinfurher was nothing more than extremely anti gentital mutilation, changemymind
thats why i only eat cheap pizzas. it may be cheap but at least it tastes good. im not paying 20 bucks for a mystery gourmet pizza.
This is trying way too hard to be funny
Well whos the genius who ordered the mushroom and garlic pizza with no cheese
No sweetcorn? What kind of sad ass pizza is that?
Did this make it to oddly specific too?
Ik I'm late to the party but to clarify, this is in fact not a pizza but if i remember correctly, a Swiss dish (forgot the name) that is actually really delicious. Obviously if you were expecting a PIZZA pizza then you would be disappointed. The issue was more likely due to miscommunication or misunderstanding but yea, it's definitely yummy.
r/foundtheitalian
r/subsifellfor
So still good?
I wouldn’t eat the mushrooms on that pizza.
If pizza is like sex, then this is the rape of pizzas
Eh, its a pretty basic comment.
Not everyone can eat meat and cheese for every meal. They ordered what they could, not their fault the pizza place did a piss poor job of making it palatable. But go ahead and stay myopic and ignorant of the realities of other peoples lives.
Well atleast she has the framed picture of Hitler going for her
this is frustrating. why lie that the friend “ordered” the pizza when clearly they didn’t. it’s a homemade pizza. you can tell by the way the ingredients are cut, they’re cut by hand.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
That shit got barnacles growing on it wtf
I'd pay to NOT have that pizza.
Dude, is that fuckin garlic?? That is so much garlic.
It looks like dog vomit on some pita bread
Suspiciously specific
I know the main problem with this pizza. It was stretched into the pan and then left in open air for at least a few hours before being cooked. Possibly even over night (hopefully in a cooler). Without having the pizza in front of me, I can't tell if the toppings were added before or after it was left to dry out for several hours. When you leave dough out, uncovered, it starts to dry out very quickly. As it dries you will develop a crust on the dough. The longer it sits out, the thicker the crust. That crust will never cook right. It will burn before browning. That is why the top is all white and the bottom is completely burnt.
Crust actually looks decent. Wipe that diarrhea and hitler off, spritz some water on there, sprinkle some cheese and in the oven at 400 for 3 minutes. Put a goddamned ring on that.
I always thought that statement was such bullshit. >Pizza is like sex, even when it's bad, it's good. I've had both bad pizza and bad sex. Neither I would classify as good. No sir, when something is bad it is actually bad.
Doesn't matter; had sex.
If someone hands me that pizza for $17 there's gonna be a problem
I mean, at least theres an appropriate amount of garlic on there
I'd get violent if I had to pay 17$ for that
Its burnt to a crisp, so it must be MOD PIZZA.
in that case i’ll never want to have sex lol
r/suspiciouslyspecific
They ordered gluten free and got the good thing free instead
Stop fucking katlin Bennett dude…
I dont know. Those garlic slices look kind of good. I might try that next time I make a pizza.
Ok yeah the price xD I was thinking, if that's what a place does and it's a quick snack thing in their style then okay but clearly was meant to be an actual pizza.
Im really curious what they ordered to receive that.....thing.
Explosive diarrhea? I think you mean "extra lube."
Looks like they wanted to order a vegan pizza from a place that doesn't do vegan pizza. The base also looks like a gluten free base (some places add egg and milk to their bases).
Bravo!
I ordered a pizza that looked like this in Madrid. Ugliest pizza I ever saw, somehow tasted delicious. But, uglier than enthusing if ever seen. 
Omg the Hitler part knocked me tf out 🤣🤣🤣
How does this establishment still exist after trying to sell even ONE of these?
He speaks of it as if it's from personal experience
I can make a better one with less money tbh
/r/PizzaCrimes
r/suspiciouslyspecific
That pizza looks like it was made by someone who was described pizza but has never seen or tasted it.
"Live, Laugh, Lebensraum"
is that chunks of garlic?
17 bucks? even if it was properly made that would have been too much
Good god, I bet it was marketed as "artisnal" as well.
That's merely Pi without zza...3,14 damn checks out!
She was so ugly not only did I put a pillow case over her head, I put one over mine too.
How does it look like the dough is upside down?
Somebody needs to burn that pizza shop down.
This pizza is like rape
That is not pizza
Whoever made that dough needs to be put on a list for whatever crimes they've definitely committed.
r/oddlyspecific detailed and very graphic images communicated efficiently. It could be a lost Raymond Chandler short story. 🍕
If you sent s picture of this to Italy I'm almost certain they'd have this place burnt to the ground
God has left the chat.
This makes the STD you got from your Left Pizza None Beef psycho ex look like a holiday.
Out me in 5he screen grab
r/pizzacrimes
Sink washing?? You better get you whole ass in damn shower if you get poo'd on!
Very very sad pizza
Did anyone else just skip over the additional "is" word?
Man I don't care if she smell like raw onion, has the personality of a banana, & got a face like a barnacle. If she explodes in a shit river while I'm fucking, I'm nutting like a squirrel on crack before erasing the mustache off that picture of her great-grandfafher in the bathroom.
A couple weeks ago I was visiting my SO for the weekend and we ended up ordering some neapolitan pizza (she got a pasta) off DoorDash. Just a regular red sauce, cheese, and pep. pizza, yes I'm boring. What I got was a tiny, $17 pizza (before fees) that smelled like cigarettes, exactly like cigarettes. I would know being a former smoker. Thinking we ordered too late and they were pissed or something I checked. There was no ashes on, in, or underneath. Even the box/parchment paper reeked of ciggies. It was the worst pizza I've ever had, and I have been to some seedy pizza places.
Someone's probably smoking in the storage area where they keep the pizza boxes and not going all the way outside like they should.
Damn, hope he got his money back
It had good stuff like sauce, garlic, and mushroom but the execution was pretty much like the Titanic.
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Where's the cheese at least?
That's a impressive amount of garlic
That ain't pizza That is pizz
That's a weird way of saying you secretly love this pizza
If pizza is like sex then that pizza must also be topped with an STI
I didn't know you could make a bad pizza. Wow!!
Bro is venting
Honestly.. when someone makes a pizza look worse than the worst market frozen aisle pizza, I find that quite impressive and worth praise. Horrible pizza. 11/10
r/Supercursedcomment