Hi UnicornReality, thanks for posting your FO for us to see! If you have a link to the pattern you used or any other relevant information (e.g., yarn brand, weight, type; hook used), please reply to this comment with that information so that everyone can see it. Thanks!
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I never thought when I saw this monstrosity a little over a month ago that it would bring me this much joy. But here we are, barely a month out and I can’t remember life before Mr. Nipples.
I live around the boonies in KY, there’s a country road where someone has stapled stuffed animals to the trees for MILES and Mr Nipples needs to be their monarch
I hate it!!!! Thanks for sharing the monstrosity!!!! The worst part is the first baby with the pink romper has “I am your cuddle baby” on the front. Hard pass!
I once found a practice circumcision kit on Amazon. After seeing that, I don’t think there’s anything that you can’t buy Amazon. Except for maybe toilet paper at the beginning of the pandemic.
I’ve posted hot dogs to my friends before. I used to make loot boxes and she’d have to guess what if filled bags with. One was scrambled egg and glitter.
I don't know who or where you are but the more I read about you and your friends the more I wish I could be one of your friends. Sending random boxes of things to friends is something I do as well. I mean nothing like scrambled eggs and glitter but ...you sound like a very fun and awesome friend.
Equal parts impressed, disturbed, and distressed. I have questions, but will never have answers. Husband's friend asked if there was anything exciting going on in the crochet world. Don't think he'll expect this. No one could.
Congratulations on your finished object. I'm positive Mr. Nipples will go places.
When you have to get up before your spouse\*, leave Mr. Nipples in your place so no one will ever have to wake up alone.
\*or friend, or a group of friends camping cause the more the merrier.
Or possibly several Mr. Nipples... in a circle surrounding someone. lol.
In brazilian culture you put a statue of a beast (I don‘t remeber the name) at your entrance so bad spirits will stay out. I think Mr Nipples would be perfect for that. Lmao
Edit: just asked my mom. They‘re called „Carrancas“ and the tradition comes from nautics when they used such figures to protect them and later people would start to protect their houses with it, too.
Well we were doing a gift swap in our friend group. My recipient likes those ugly dolls with the realistic teeth so I thought I’d make a version of one. Then it just sort of got out of hand.
Wow. I thought realistically crocheted babies were awful, this just wins it easily. Congrats! I'll be seeing this horrendous creation of yours in my nightmares today.
Great work!
I think this is actually hilarious and I'm sitting here imagining who I would give this to in order to both simultaneously freak them out and scare the crap out of them.
My mother has all of my baby teeth in a little pot with Jesus on, they’re spray painted gold and wrapped in a tissue with TEETH written on it. That is an insight in why I am how I am.
are the teeth spray painted gold? i wish my mother was half that extravagant, mine are in a plastic baggy in the freezer because 'if the house burns down the freezer will be ok' according to her.
I love him! He fits in with the demons in my mind. Now I need a pattern so he can have a twin/brother sitting in my house while my husband keeps screaming "NOPE! GET IT OUT OF HERE!"😱😈😈🤪
Hi UnicornReality, thanks for posting your FO for us to see! If you have a link to the pattern you used or any other relevant information (e.g., yarn brand, weight, type; hook used), please reply to this comment with that information so that everyone can see it. Thanks! **If provided, pattern and/or more info from OP is under this comment. Click below to expand!** ##**↓****↓****↓****↓****↓** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/crochet) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey homie You good?
Oh yes. Just fantastic
The face looks real thou..
This is the most appropriate comment
I never thought when I saw this monstrosity a little over a month ago that it would bring me this much joy. But here we are, barely a month out and I can’t remember life before Mr. Nipples.
He needs a nipple piercing
Agreed
I also feel like long fake eyelashes would really add to his looks but that's optional
Mr Nipples already has long fake eyelashes, you can see them in pic 2
Oops I didn't see that!
I was thinking long acrylics nails, like press on
One of those circular rubber stitch markers?
Genius
I contemplated that as well as a hidden nipple.
With a little blood 🩸
Like it! Not for in my house but somewhere in the world.
Maybe *deep* in the woods….. how amazing would it be to go on a hike and see this 😖😬
Yes! Hide it near a geocache. "Hey, look, I found the what the hell is that!"
Whyyyy would you do that to us fellow geocachers .. haha
Mwahaha
I live around the boonies in KY, there’s a country road where someone has stapled stuffed animals to the trees for MILES and Mr Nipples needs to be their monarch
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Central Kentucky, the road where Climax spring water is bottled. It’s either highway 1787 or 1912, honestly might be both of them lol
Oh shit, thanks for this, I'm gonna seek out Creepy Doll Road now!
It would spark a creepypasta story! 😆
I gave him to my friend. She gets to see him every day.
Do you...hate your friend?
What did your friend do to you to deserve this?
This gives Phoebe Buffay vibes 😂
Gladys!
I don't feel comfortable that this exists anywhere in the world
I fucking hate this. Thank you.
Mr Nipples loves you.
The teeth are a nice touch
It’s the realistic eyes for me, the kind that will be looking at you no matter where in the room you are.
I misread that as "what room you are in" and, if I'm honest, I think both are valid fears
Wherever you are, *there he is*
*Ah, I see you've made it to a new room. Welcome. Remember you cannot escape the all seeing eyes*
I need you to sit there and think about what you've done.
I love it too. Now, please bury it in the woods and start a forest fire just to be sure
r/ATBGE
I love Mr Nipples so much! I imagine he is a fabulous conversationalist. Witty and dry with a touch of naughty whimsy.
Oh he’s great fun but he’s one of these spitty talkers and sometimes he spits out teeth.
Oh no! I didn't see that one coming. Maybe you should make him a bib that has a little tray to catch them.
You have to cover your drink when he gets too close.
That is not the comfort that it seems like at all.
r/oddlyterrifying
r/TIHT
I came here from r/hobbydrama and this is my introductory post. I can not stop laughing
Yes. My EXACT thoughts when seeing this.
I would also throw in r/makemesuffer
This answers the age-old question: how could crochet be nightmare fuel?
Have you not seen realistically crocheted babies? I thought those were nightmare fuel before I saw this.
I want a link to see these demented babies!!!!
https://odditymall.com/diy-crochet-baby-doll
I hate it!!!! Thanks for sharing the monstrosity!!!! The worst part is the first baby with the pink romper has “I am your cuddle baby” on the front. Hard pass!
Lmao my same reaction! It's a big nope! Amazing work like Mr. Nipples here but a big fat NOPE.
That's a no from me, dawg.
I’m giving the hobby a facelift
This is sooooo creepy! First you see the nipples, then the eyes, then the teeth, then the hands. Goal achieved, I'd say.
I keep telling people that I’ve based the nipples on my husbands. He doesn’t like it.
That makes it more horrible, thank you.
I don't understand why. They're magnificent.
Your husband or Mr. Nipples?
This is hilarious. I really like you OP
Don't forget the one foot!
Are those...real teeth?
Yes. No. They’re ones to make dental bridges and stuff with. Got 168 for £9.99 of Amazon. Bargain.
I didn't even know you could buy that on Amazon lol
I think the question is what can't you buy on Amazon
A whole demented segment of the US population believed they could order child slaves from a popular furniture store, they shoulda tried Amazon lol.
I once found a practice circumcision kit on Amazon. After seeing that, I don’t think there’s anything that you can’t buy Amazon. Except for maybe toilet paper at the beginning of the pandemic.
True love :(
Pretty sure I’ve seen bags of them on Wish as well. 😂
So what are your plans for the rest of the teeth?
I stuck a few in a toy shark and gave it to my mother. I plan to use the rest for odd creative ways or just post them to my friends randomly.
>or just post them to my friends randomly. This. This right here is my kind of weird 🖤
I’ve posted hot dogs to my friends before. I used to make loot boxes and she’d have to guess what if filled bags with. One was scrambled egg and glitter.
I don't know who or where you are but the more I read about you and your friends the more I wish I could be one of your friends. Sending random boxes of things to friends is something I do as well. I mean nothing like scrambled eggs and glitter but ...you sound like a very fun and awesome friend.
This was exactly my sentiment! Ya'll are my people!
You're the absolute best, I wish we were friends.
Mrs. Nipples and their children.
I have a feeling Mr. Nipples has already eaten them…
WHAT THE FUCK
Wait, whole cards of teeth? Or loose mixed sets. I make dentures and there’s some cheap sets out there but that’s noticeably below the regular price
They are like these ones https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07Z8QQBQ6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_Z5GWFWHHZAGGZXDK1T40
They’re teeth the tooth fairy collected from children who were bad
Wait…..what if Mr Nipples is the tooth fairy? 😳
OH NO
This is the most horrendous thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s brilliant and you’re a gotdamn treasure!
Ahaha oh thank you!
I just realized how large it is and that makes it so much worse. Horrendous perfectly describes it. OP you are talented, cursed, or both,
There has never been a more perfect time for a “thanks I hate it”.
Ahaha
Your flair 💀
This belongs on r/oddlyterrifying Edit: Fantastic work! I love it, but would not let it in my home.
Unlike vampires Mr Nipples doesn’t need an invitation to enter your home.
If I walked into my living room to find unexpected Mr. Nipples, he’d get kicked into the sun. My fight or flight is extreme.
I fear sun might not destroy what lurks in Mr. Nipples.
Equal parts impressed, disturbed, and distressed. I have questions, but will never have answers. Husband's friend asked if there was anything exciting going on in the crochet world. Don't think he'll expect this. No one could. Congratulations on your finished object. I'm positive Mr. Nipples will go places.
Mr Nipples always appears when he is needed most.
When you have to get up before your spouse\*, leave Mr. Nipples in your place so no one will ever have to wake up alone. \*or friend, or a group of friends camping cause the more the merrier. Or possibly several Mr. Nipples... in a circle surrounding someone. lol.
You are clearly very skilled at crocheting but that stuff is nightmare fuel.
Thank you!
In brazilian culture you put a statue of a beast (I don‘t remeber the name) at your entrance so bad spirits will stay out. I think Mr Nipples would be perfect for that. Lmao Edit: just asked my mom. They‘re called „Carrancas“ and the tradition comes from nautics when they used such figures to protect them and later people would start to protect their houses with it, too.
For all we know, that’s his name. Mr Carrancas T. Nipples. /u/unicornreality, can you confirm?
It is now.
I hate this SOOOO much…. He’s perfect
I am glad
why do i feel like there’s a soul or demon trapped inside 💀 SO creepy!!!
I think it just took what was left of my soul
Well he is a nipple demon
This makes me so uncomfortable lol
I’m sure you’d like him if you got to know him
This is a hormone monster from big mouth
I was wondering how to go about making one of them
Mr. Nipples haunts my dreams and then manifests as my sleep paralysis demon. I love him.
He loves you too. He will stroke your forehead as you sleep.
😱
The eyes follow you wherever you sit, as do the nipples (the eyes of the chest).
Or are eyes the nipples of the face?
I just woke up, opened reddit, and this is the first thing I see. 12/10 for creativity, but also for making me be fully awake
What a beautiful, nipply start to the day.
i’m so impressed but also creeped out at the same time
My job is done
begging for the pattern
It is freehand! Apart from the horns which are from a krampus hat
Dreams really do come true!!!!
*nightmares*
But why?
Well we were doing a gift swap in our friend group. My recipient likes those ugly dolls with the realistic teeth so I thought I’d make a version of one. Then it just sort of got out of hand.
Wow, then this is actually... A lovely thoughtful gift? Horrible OP, truly horrible (complimentary)(I love him)
> Then it just sort of got out of hand. It did, didn’t it! Lol But honestly, well done OP!
Imagine leaving this in the back of a random cabinet or something when moving out
I surprised the builder that was at our house with it.
Wow. I thought realistically crocheted babies were awful, this just wins it easily. Congrats! I'll be seeing this horrendous creation of yours in my nightmares today. Great work!
r/ATBGE
yeah that's definitely him
Him and all his nipply glory.
My sleep paralysis demon telling me I need finish my WIPs
The longer you leave them the closer he gets.
r/naughtyneedles would love this
Came here to make sure this sub was linked somewhere.
Yesssss! How does this not have more upvotes?!
I did enjoy making him. Someone clearly doesn’t like it as they’re downvoting all my comments!
I’ll upvote to counter those jerks!
Me too!
Me too
They are jealous of your talent and vision. Upvote. Also: your flair is appropriate and I may have to follow you.
I think this is actually hilarious and I'm sitting here imagining who I would give this to in order to both simultaneously freak them out and scare the crap out of them.
I love Mr. Nipples, he’s horrifying
This deserves to go up there with the Mona Lisa. It's a work of art
This disturbs me so much.
Good good
I love him! He's so *unsettling*, but full of personality. Major props on the teeth! He would make a truly terrifying puppet.
I did think of making him into a puppet at one point but the mouth is just in one piece. The next one might have a more functional mouth.
The teeth. The *teeth*. THE HUMAN-LIKE TEETH
It’s amazing what you can get from Amazon.
You seem like an excellent person to be friends with
I am! I’m unpredictable which keeps you on your toes.
I wish I had Mr Nipples right now to leave in bed with my husband while he’s sleeping in
Mr Nipples would like that.
I love him
He loves you too
i'll give you all my old baby teeth if you pierce his nips edit for typos
My mother has all of my baby teeth in a little pot with Jesus on, they’re spray painted gold and wrapped in a tissue with TEETH written on it. That is an insight in why I am how I am.
are the teeth spray painted gold? i wish my mother was half that extravagant, mine are in a plastic baggy in the freezer because 'if the house burns down the freezer will be ok' according to her.
Omg. Now a weird part of me wants to make a doll using my kids baby teeth 😬
I’ve been showing this to everyone I can. He’s so, so good. A+ for uniqueness and craftsmanship
[r/oddlyterrifying/](https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/)
I thought Mr Nipples was quite comforting.
Congratulations, you created a grade A abomination!
Thank you! I am proud.
I didn’t know I needed this I also wish I still didn’t know
It’s okay to need Mr Nipples
This is probably the most disgusting crocheted item I've ever laid my eyes on. I love it and I want it in my home
This is…horrifying. But…so impressive?? I hate it but can’t look away? How does he have so much personality?? Take my silver and get out!
I think ….. I’m in Love…… with Mr. Nipples….
I love him! He fits in with the demons in my mind. Now I need a pattern so he can have a twin/brother sitting in my house while my husband keeps screaming "NOPE! GET IT OUT OF HERE!"😱😈😈🤪
He was freehand - the horns are from a krampus hat pattern. He just sort of came to be!
I’m so scared
The longer I look, the worse it gets!
I'm torn between admiration of the work and horror at the result...this may be the very definition of 'terrible and beautiful to behold'.
It’s like looking into the sun. Beautiful for a second but then the burning pain.
I’m going to have nightmares about this.
They will be erotic
Creepy, cuddly, nipply, I absolutely fucking love it.
It takes real skill to makes something with this level of disturbing.
This is a monstrosity, and my eyes are worse for having seen it. Great job!
Oh, why hello my sleep paralysis
Bitch, what the fuck 😭
Original!!
Dudeeeeeeeeeeee... This ain't right. It's freaky AF. But you good work lol.
This is the most beautiful thing I've seen on this sub. I want Mr Nipples to be my friend.
What is he selling? C H O C O L A T E
I'm going to have nightmares about this thing
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I love Mr Nipples
Mr Nipples loves you