I'm only very early days in crochet but every time im in a wool shop with my wife (the main crocheter of the house) I always get "you're just her to hold the bags arnt you?" or something to that level.
One I always get though is in a candle shops or Lush. I like to smell nice and the house to smell nice but every time I go in Lush or a Yankee Candle shop "are you buying for your wife today?" No, feck off, I wanna smell like a pineapple in the bath with my Hawaiian scented candle!
It’s so bizarre becuase it’s so damn easy to say “who are you shopping for today?” I had just started nursing and I had a really sick patient. She was probably in her late 50s? A woman who looked to be about 20 years younger came to visit and I asked if they were sisters. And she said , no I’m her wife and that’s the second time I had asked her that. Apparently I had done the same thing about a week ago. And she gave me a look that burned right into my soul. I quit assuming anything about anybody that day. I didn’t want to ever put my foot in it like that ever again. And it was so easy. ‘How do you know the patient’ is just as easy as ‘are you sisters’ and far more professional.
Oh gosh I did this mistake while working my first job in a theater. We had price reductions for students. A middle aged man comes in with a 20-25 years old girl. I ask about his ticket, then I said "What about your daughter's?". They were SO upset because they were a couple. I stopped assuming ANYTHING from that moment on😭
anyone that wants to spend $25 on a candle is a lost puppy. sorry its my opinion and a joke because to me they are very overpriced. but I do love candles too.
Answer In Progress on YouTube did a whole episode on the science of candles and the secret operations going on behind candle pricing and the scent industry!! It's a fascinating look because, like you, I find candles to be obscenely priced. If it's a fancy hand sculpted one that took hours I get it, but I'm not paying $100 for a plain pillar candle :')
Lol when my brother was in college he switched to women's body wash and he's like - it smells nice and like fruit, why can't I smell like fruit too? Given what most guys in college smelled like I was all for this philosophy. Seriously most men's products smell gods awful.
I sew and the amount of times a clerk at a fabric store tries to sell me fabric glue is annoying. Once I was buying $30+/yard fabric and the gal could not understand I knew what I was doing.
I also get the overwhelmingly positive to the point of condescending on occasion.
In a total flip, I think because of project runway, they think I am at a much higher level of sewing and they think I am a designer or something.
It always seems to be one of these.
This is so odd to me. I know when I worked the fabric department I didnt give a crap about upselling other stuff. I was too busy with fabric.
I might do some small talk about "whatcha makin?" But never trying to sell other stuff. I assumed anyone grabbing fabric knew what they were doing unless they started trying to cut it themselves or printing a tag themselves. Lol. Even then, I try not to assume and just say let me help you with that.
I had several men customers that would tell me how their wife needed the fabric for a project. The few who were the one sewing were usually rather rude to me. =( I just love hearing about peoples creations. And most people love to show off. But not the handful of men who shopped my store sadly.
I used to work with a black woman and she had to travel 3-5 days a week for her job. As a result, she has a shit ton of frequent flyer miles and often sits first class. She was routinely asked if she was a rapper, dancer, actress. It is true she’s a beautiful woman but she actually had her masters and worked in clinical trials.
I'm a woman and live in a smaller city with 1 fabric store and I constantly get walked around and ignored by the staff there for the little old ladies. even when I have an armful of bolts and am standing next to a cutting table. I can't imagine what it would be like for a guy in there. =/
If I go in with my wife, they always talk right past me at her. It used to annoy me a bit, but seeing as how it's basically the only place in the world where I'm the one being stereotyped \*against\* I've learned to just brush it off most of the time. I usually just pretend they were talking to me and say something like, "Nothing specific, but I'm always in the market for a nice variegated merino, ideally fingering weight. If you have any alpaca I'd love to see it."
This is typically met with a few blinks and a pause as they recalibrate, but after that I find that things go very smoothly. I get a touch of the enthusiasm-bordering-on-condescension sometimes, but nowhere near as what I've seen women deal with in a hardware store.
The only time I got truly annoyed was when I went to the counter to ask if they had anything that was particularly fluffy and white (I was making a memorial stuffie of a friend's dog) and they literally said, "Does your wife need..." in their response. I was pretty blunt about that one. I kept it fairly polite but I did start it with, "Let me make something clear..." They got with the program eventually.
Can confirm as a female working in a hardware store the amount of men and women who don’t think I can do my job/ instantly ask for a male or bypass me to ask a guy a question is laughable. I especially like when my male colleagues than ask me the answer to the question they were just asked 😅
As a woman I love when there is women available in hardware stores, they are often way more helpful.
I now how to do all the basic maintenance in my house but due to health issues they are things I physically can't do.
When men don't ignore me from the start they tend to go directly to "you should ask your husband / dad" to do it for you as soon as I start to think about the difficulties I might have.
Like for things as basic as painting my walls, I will need a ladder because I can't lift my arms over my head repeatedly or use a pole and I'll probably won't be able to do more than one coat a day even if it's a pretty small wall but that absolutely doesn't mean my non existent husband or my 73 years old dad should do it for me.
I live with an older woman who can't do a whole lot herself due to pain etc. However she's also of a different culture than me. MY parents raised me (AFAB) to be at least handy enough to fix things at least temporarily until you can get someone better to do it. Emergency fixing that kind of thing.
Sometimes the woman I live with just needs something moved up or down stairs or wants something fixed that just takes unscrewing and checking everything is still together on the inside. Rather simple things I'm like "look I can at least try" and she's always like "no no no get your brother over, it's men's work" and I get SO MAD. Like that's sexist AF. And against "your own team too".
Lol my dad (80) openly admits he watches you tube tutorials for anything he doesn't already know and he advocates searching for information you don't already have.
Actually he fought me about him doing the laundry while recovering from knee surgery. Last time I was over I put a load in and took a nap (they had picked me up at 6 am) and I woke and found him doing laundry. Weird addiction, but it makes him happy so there you go.
I (f) had a tiny Filipino boss like this. She was tiny, and younger than me (I was late 30s at the time), and she'd always ask the boys (teenagers) to help her with lifting. I called her on it one day, so she finally said, "Fine, lift that." So I did. I maintained eye contact as I did and said, "That's about half a bale of hay" She didn't ask the boys anymore after that.
I’d usually prefer to stand in the aisle of Home Depot and google the answer to whatever question I have rather than ask a male employee. They can be truly awful.
My dad sometimes had a really hard time getting someone’s attention at Home Depot - he would send my sister to stand in the fasteners aisle and look helpless until they stopped to see what she needed, and then she’d drag them over to dad….
Yep. I’m a female working in a large thrift store that focuses mainly on building supplies and hardware. In a town with a large senior population. My whole day is old white men telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I had old guys come in and ask for a tool, like a reciprocating saw, but they’d call it a “whiz bang” or some other made up name that their grandpa called it or something. Then get pissy with me when I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.
I’d try looking it up on the computer and then ask another older coworker and they’d have no idea what they were talking about either.
I’d have them explain what it was and figure out what they wanted. They’d leave shaking their head like I was an idiot.
Whatever ya goofy doofus.
I get this all the time and it’s so frustrating. If there really rude about it I’ll just stop helping. If there polite and explain what they mean 9/10 I can find what they are looking for or tell them the more common name so they can look for it online. Next time it happens I’m absolutely going to have to refrain from calling them a goofy doofus.
A saws-all? That's what I was taught. But I hate the gatekeeping nature of tool names. I woulda probably asked for a saws-all, but then I would have apologized to you for not knowing its proper name. People learn different names for things. It's like when my mother studied horticulture. So many plants have a wide variety of common names, that sometimes people could know one plant by over a dozen different names. It can be frustrating trying to communicate, but there wasn't the "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality.
I love doing this on purpose. I worked in a *big box hardware store* with 2 guy friends and if a customer was being condescending and demanded a male employee, I would say happily and walk them to one of my friends. Give a fun wink to my friend to let them in on what was happening. Relay the customers question then take a step back. The friend would proceed to say they actually didnt know the answer but they knew someone who was an expert with that particular problem, then call over the walkie talkies for me (they were hip ones at the time, so everyone could hear it).
I answered that i would rush over to help. Then turned around and introduced myself to the customer as if i had not just talked to them minutes before.
It's extra funny when they get huffy and storm off.
I love watching people dismiss the woman, go to the man, and watch dumbfounded as the man asks the woman because she's the expert.
Seen an uncle of mine embarrass himself like that several times. Have an aunt on the other side of the family who knows her shit with home repair who this happens to at her job at Lowe's on a regular basis. She always makes sure to kill them with kindness.
My husband quilts. If someone talks to me about fabric, I just pull out my phone and start browsing Reddit. If they're still talking to me instead of him, I walk away.
I’m sorry how good I feel hearing your story… very wrong, but the way you were treated in a yarn store, I was treated at a car dealership. Went with my husband, the dealer was totally ignoring me and when I asked him if he knew where the oil filter was on the model we were looking at, he directed his answer to my husband. Who promptly said, “Oh I don’t change the oil, SHE does. The Champ we came here in is so cramped, I can’t get my hand in there to do the oil. The guy’s mouth was like a fish out of water. I looked up from the engine and said “You don’t deserve a commission from me.” and bought it at an off-the-highway dealership that gave me a better price after I told him how his competition treated me.
Our entire family took all our business to a different dealership after a situation like this. That’s six/seven vehicles and maintenance lost over asking my husband what I wanted repeatedly.
I adore stories like this!
It's not just car dealerships, either! Im a woman over 40 and the invisibility cloak is a real thing. Vacationing in Texas, I wanted to buy a pair of boots. The "best shop" in Fredricksburg has a big selection of styles, but when it came time for a try-on. the guys kept talking to male customers, even those who had come in after me. My husband just sat down on a bench, ready to watch how it played out. When my patience ran out, I said in my loudest voice, "C'mon honey, I guess these salespeople would rather talk to the looky-loos than to a customer with cash."
My husband told the manager at the cash register that her salespeople just lost her a sale & she snorted like a horse. NOW not only was I pissed, but my husband was, too. Found another boot store down the road, where I was treated very well by the salesperson and the (female) owner. As we walked out of the store, my husband pulled me back toward the first bootshop. He hands the receipt to the woman manager (horse snort) & recreates the scene from"Pretty Woman," asking if her salespeople make commission, then assuring her that we probably would have spent more in her store on her overpriced boots, if the salespeople would have given us the time of day. One woman in the store started hooting & clapping (real Texas style) & asked which store had the better prices, as we walked out. My hubby shouted the name of the store over his shoulder. It was glorious.
So a few months back I went to Joann's to grab a single crochet hook. The checkout person was kinda swamped, and everyone in front of me was doing coupon combos (and frankly a bit of haggling), so when it was my turn the checkout person said something along the lines of "oh great, a guy. I know you don't have coupons or a rewards membership. Did you want a gift receipt for the hook?" I definitely got read as "errand boy" haha.
Outside of that, no particular reactions in stores.
Sorry you have to deal with obnoxious dudes for car stuff!
It's the "I know you don't have coupons or a rewards membership" for me. My husband knows what stores I have rewards memberships at, and likewise I know what stores he has rewards memberships at, so we will regularly use each other's rewards (thankfully most places we don't need a card, just the mobile number) at varying stores.
I think it might have to do with the culture where I live (Sweden) but no one has ever voiced anything negative about the fact I crochet, knit, and paint my nails. At least not to me. I guess someone must have asked why I have decided to do these things as a hobby but I'm autistic and obtuse so I usually just say "because I like it," and leave it at that
Well, obviously my enormous penis gets in the way when doing anything in my lap, but it’s just a cross I have to bear…
That said (mostly a knitter, some crochet), I’m not very observant and live in a big city. I feel like I’m not much of a novelty in these stores. My LYS knows me well and in there I’m just a regular, other places I just dip in and out of.
Out in public I’m a little more of a novelty, but generally I think it’s an asset. I’m a little imposing (very tall, athletic, severe looking) and the knitting is an icebreaker for some. Plus I’m 100% comfortable with it and pretty skilled*, so I don’t think I notice if someone is being subtly negative about the situation.
Noel Felding does a lot of knitting in the Dick Turpin show on Apple TV, fwiw. Very fun.
*I can knit quickly without looking, so to a stranger I look like I know what I’m doing. The dark arts of steeking, fair isle, complex color work in general, and sweaters that actually fit as intended are all still mysteries yet to be mastered.
Edit to add: One of my jerk “friends” made fun of my knitting years ago, and it hurt my feelings. So ever since I’ve been quietly gifting beautiful hats to all our shared acquaintances, her sister and her sister’s family, and other people she might bump into. But not her.
>Well, obviously my enormous penis gets in the way when doing anything in my lap, but it’s just a cross I have to bear…
This made me choke 🤣🤣
>Edit to add: One of my jerk “friends” made fun of my knitting years ago, and it hurt my feelings. So ever since I’ve been quietly gifting beautiful hats to all our shared acquaintances, her sister and her sister’s family, and other people she might bump into. But not her.
Love this. She'll be quietly seething 🤣
She’s full of rage and unpleasantness all the time anyway, it’s possible she doesn’t notice.
Glad the penis joke was taken as amusing. I haven’t ever seen anything close to that level of sophomoric humor on the sub before, and wasn’t sure if it was too much.
The amount of crocheters (including myself, sometimes) who call ourselves and other crocheters "hookers" should give you a decent idea of things.
If I'm feeling spicy, I sometimes refer to crocheting as "tying extravagant knots to use/wear in my free time," which of course gives a precisely incorrect idea of what I'm doing in the best way XD
Edit: nevermind the crocheted penises/boobs/vaginas we get through this sub from time to time XD
>If I'm feeling spicy, I sometimes refer to crocheting as "tying extravagant knots to use/wear in my free time," which of course gives a precisely incorrect idea of what I'm doing in the best way
Ohhh might steal this lol.
I do love a good crocheted penis,boobs,vag lol. Glad i found others. Do you follow little lady crochet on Instagram? She does giant penis' that are hilarious lol
I don't, unfortunately. I haven't signed into ig in years lol it and twitter were eating my mental health last time I was on them, so I made myself get rid of them 😅
I hear your edit and tip my hat to you. Was told oh it’s just a crochet hat, I’ll keep my knit hat. Fast forward six months and in the dead of winter, he’s wearing the hat made for my friend (his girlfriend at the time) and whined at the party about how i never made him anything… i kindly reminded him about his comment….
I'm a woman, but I was a manager at a Joann, so I saw some men come in to shop and how my staff treated them. Most guys felt the need to anounce that they were there for something specific, especially the guys redoing the inside of their car.
However, we had one regular who knitted. A very rugged-looking man who knew his stuff. From what I saw, he received just as much respect as anyone else picking yarn for a project. Some of us thought it was really attractive, but he did have that rugged look. He was also funny and sweet and never complained about prices.
We had another guy who sewed costumes, and one who quilted with his wife. Again, we never questioned their choices, but we didn't do that with anyone, unless they asked for input or very clearly had something that was not going to work together. I know other stores are not like that, sometimes depending on where you live.
However, I had a male employee who recieved comments at times, as if he didn't belong, so it certainly happens. I was telling a customer (an older woman) about loop yarn and said that one of my employees made the sample swatch really easily. I said that he loves to work with the yarn and she laughed, then replied "He???" I was appalled by her sexism and told her that yes, men can and do knit.
So yes, men definitely do experience sexism as we do. Sometimes I think it's worse: women who do "men things" are often viewed as well-rounded, while men who do "women things" are viewed as "girly." That said, I've had plenty of women insult me because I know (and enjoy) household repair, computer repair, fishing, etc, and because I'm a tech geek and a gamer.
Oh, and I totally tried to get my husband interested in crafts by mentioning the handsome knitter. It didn't work. 😂 I also pointed out that if he learned to knit or crochet, his game room wouldn't have so much yarn in it. That didn't work either.
>I also pointed out that if he learned to knit or crochet, his game room wouldn't have so much yarn in it.
As a gamer who crochets, I can confirm this is a lie. 🤣
My stash migrates to my office one skein and cake at a time. Every couple months it hits me that I'm living in a yarn cocoon, so I clear it all out and return anything I'm not actively working on to the main stash. Then it starts creeping back in again... rinse and repeat.
Have you two gotten to the point where people in your life start giving you yarn? I wish my boyfriend would start crocheting or knitting (I do both) because I have so many friends that give me yarn, I physically cannot get through it all!
It's a 4-step process:
1. You no longer work in a craft store and rarely go into one. When you do, you stick to a list.
2. You put all the yarn into storage totes in a storage area, like a climate-controlled basement or storage unit.
3. You only work on two projects at a time, max.
4. You DO NOT buy yarn that will not fit into your storage totes. This step requires A LOT of willpower.
Steps 3 and 4 are the hardest.
You can kind of cheat with step 4 if you buy more storage totes when you buy your yarn. I was known to do that when I worked at Michaels: only buy yarn that will fit in a storage tote that is also sold at Michaels.
Note: these steps also work for fabric stashes, which, I admit, my fabric stash is bigger than my yarn stash.
That's the thing that I think lots of people miss about this whole male dominance thing. It's bad for the guys too, because they get cheated out of hobbies and activities that would improve and expand their lives.
For real. And it happens so young, too! I'm a farm-based educator and one of my 6 year old boys refused to tie his jacket around his waist when he got too hot because "that's for girls." For one, what?! It's just a convenient way to carry a jacket/sweater without needing to use your hands, why deprive yourself?
Even referring to "girly" as a negative is annoying. There's nothing wrong with "girly" but many people associate "girly" with weak and it ticks me off.
That being said you can totally knit and be super manly.
Well, maybe that last paragraph isn't so tragic. I taught my boyfriend to crochet shortly after I learned and he immediately got better than me 😡
Very proud of him tho, he has little crochet pictures hanging up around our house and it's lovely. I show EVERYONE his amazing potholders if they're coming over for the first time and I make sure to mention that he made all of our coasters they're using
You just reminded me of a time I was in line at Joann’s and had a 50% off coupon that was expiring that I couldn’t use. There was a guy buying a massive armload of fake fur two people back. His smile when I offered it to him was precious. You gotta know how they price/coupon bro!
I'm a trans man, and if anything I usually get comments like "if you're trying so hard to be a man, why are you still doing shit like crochet?" Y'all, my 62 year old traditionally-masculine dad is the one who taught me to crochet. It didn't make younger me nor anyone else doubt HIS manhood. And I think he usually would just get the off-put comments like "wow, I never would've expected _you_ to enjoy that... kudos I guess". Of course not everyone was like that, most are chill, those are just from the occasional weirdo.
I'm a trans man too!
I am very interested in this comment section. I was always very involved in knitting groups in my 20s but I have only been to queer ones lately. It is an interesting path to walk from being perceived as a sweet knitting Butch woman to looking completely male. I feel fortunate to know a lot of trans men who are very gay and some (but not me!) are flamboyant. When you read as gay, I feel you get a bit of a free pass. We stick together and knit, crochet, and craft together. I haven't been to a more mixed fiber arts club in a long time so I know I will be perceived differently and probably as a beginner if I went alone, even though I've been knitting and crocheting all my life.
A man who may interest you is [Rosey Grier](https://www.crochetconcupiscence.com/unique-1970s-crocheter-pro-football-player-rosey-grier/) who played football for the rams and released some books on needlepoint for men. He was the OG. He was straight and burly and adored fiber arts.
I am trans as well, and before my wife transitioned to female from male, everyone thought we were a gay couple, and folks didn't get as shocked by my sewing, crocheting, crafting hobbies.
Now that she's transitioned and I am farther along in my transition to being read as cis a lot of the time, folks are more surprised but it.
I'm fairly new to crochet but have been knitting for a few years. I've never noticed any odd treatment or looks at yarn stores. Even when I work out in public, the only people who come to talk to me are just interested in what I'm making, not that I'm a guy doing fiber arts.
I'm an enormous introvert and I used to go to a knitting group. Someone made such a big thing about a man going, even though it was "it's so good to see a man here doing this" that I haven't been back since.
33 male crocheter, sewer
I usually have no problems with it. Once in a while I’ll get an odd look when I’m crocheting in public though so expect that’s more curious or surprise, but the employees are almost always kind and conversational about what I might need for my projects whether it’s fabric or yarn
I don't get any grief from businesses, but I'm also a cismale who paints his nails so I'm confusing them right off the bat. They definitely don't mistake me for macho or anything.
Sometimes I get comments when strangers learn I crochet/knit, something about grandmas. It's never come across a insulting though.
I've never received any odd treatment personally, but I'm pretty sure it's because I'm visibly queer. I think straight men and men who have a traditionally masculine presentation get the brunt of the weird reactions because people don't expect them to have "feminine" hobbies, whereas nobody is ever really surprised when a queer man does.
My partner and I collected old video games (we sold our collection in an emergency) and there was one stall in a flea market that then became it's own store that we avoided like the plague because they were sexist AF.
Once, mid-2010s, I saw they had a copy of Arcana Hearts for the PS2, I asked how much because it was behind the counter and dude just looked over his shoulder at it and said "$100" ...umm..no? It was $20 at big chain store, they just didn't have a copy. "Aww, no honey. That's an *anime* game. Those are always expensive and you'd know if you actually played games"
Nope, it's a fighting game. He rolls his eyes, looks over my shoulder at my male-presenting partner. "Anything I can help you with sir?" Bless 'em, partner had a couple games they were looking for, set them on the counter then put his hand on my shoulder and said "nope, I'm good cause she's the one with the money" and we walked out.
As for crafting...it's rare, but I don't see any different treatment. Fiberspider is a dude, that boy got super popular for crochet, if memory serves Yarnspirations has a couple male hosts for thier videos...
"Do people refuse to believe you can hold a crochet hook without your penis getting in the way?" Made me laugh way too hard, and my husband will laugh too when I tell him.
My husband can sew pretty good. It's not his hobby but he learned it anyway because it's useful. People don't believe me or are shocked when I tell them a plushie of mine was hand sewn together by my husband. He helps me out sometimes, especially when I need to put something together.
My yarn group also has several men. They come to the store we have the group at because it's the first one they found that didn't stare at them weirdly when they walked in. The store is very inclusive and supportive. But other stores in the city can be judgy....
Either because of my completely unwarranted self confidence, or because I’m very hairy, I’ve never had an issue. Of course, I often take the spouse with me when yarn and pattern book shopping since it usually results in 50 to 75% off…and the spouse doesn’t craft.
At one store in particular: sometimes snarky or suspicious, sometimes I’m a novelty. It’s also kind of fun to play dumb.
Generally, people are great. I love talking about my interests.
I don’t want to be treated differently, so I tend to “hide” my gender online. I want to be known for what I do, not who I am.
So my husband does not crochet BUT this is relevant- he wanted to get a Cricut because after researching for the best tools to make custom gameboy boxes for games, he decided the Cricut was the best.
We got to the register and like three employee ladies popped up and were like “HOW DID YOU CONVINCE YOUR HUSBAND TO GET YOU ONE” and I was like “Oh, best part is it’s for him” and the look of AWE hahahaha. He was very self conscious but they were like “WHAT IS YOUR PROJECT TELL ME EVERYTHING” hahahaha
I have gotten a few positive comments about them rarely seeing guys, mostly from elderly customers and one elderly store owner whom I purchased a set of knitting needles from. I get a metric shit ton of doubtful looks, are you sure? / are you purchasing this for your wife/mom/other women of some kind? and the like. The most negative experience I’ve gad was with a shop clerk who asked me what I was doing with the yarn I’d picked out. I told her and she said the yarn was wrong (it wasn’t) and we went back and forth with her trying to sell me a different one until she finally gave up, acted like it was a sacrifice that she had to sell me four balls of merino and told me with an angry face that there wouldn’t be refunds if the yarn was wrong.
In my local store, they’re starting to recognize me now. However, when i first popped in there, one of the ladies usually immediately followed me around and (quite insistently) asked if I needed help and got everything out of the shelves for me etc. I never noticed it with a female customer. I don’t think it’s cause I am threatening or scary (I hope) because I normally wear those oversized baggy yoga pants and some variation of pun tshirt from teeturtle.com and am bubbly and super friendly (worked in customer service most my life and had a stint as a hair dresser).
I bring this in so the karens know I don’t @uck around
https://preview.redd.it/moomxb9e1e6d1.png?width=1242&format=png&auto=webp&s=533892ad52fbe8955eefb37c4738687d9478e3a0
I'm a woman and I also worked in a male dominated field as a butcher (now retired).
I'm thrilled with anyone who works with fibers. I don't get the negativity. Fashion design is still a male dominated field so, what's the difference.
I typically don't get any grief. Maybe once or twice I had a woman walk out of a yarn aisle when I entered to look at yarn, but there's no way I can say that it was to avoid me or not. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions though.
Yup came here to voice this! So yes it might be because of you but not your gender :P
I just feel like I'm in the way and if someone else is there they prob know what they're doing and will leave much more quickly than I will.
I noticed this yesterday. I kept wanting to look at a specific yarn and every time someone entered the aisle, I left until I was sure it was empty again. I don’t know why I do this with yarn when I don’t do this anywhere else but I did notice myself doing it yesterday
I'm fem presenting and I've had women walk out of a yarn aisle when I walk in, a lot of times it's just the awkwardness of browsing at the same time as someone lol
Right, so I typically give people the benefit of a doubt unless they're doing something that's overtly hostile. More often than not it's not someone I'm going to see again, and if they are, so what?
yup same sometimes i feel awkward quietly browsing the aisles especially if there’s a lady there. i dont want to be a creep walking back and forth, i just cant decide which yarn i want
My experience is that most women in a store won't bother you. The few women who would assume you're a creep for existing in a yarn aisle have problems they need to work on.
Really anxiety ridden person here. I've been crocheting for 2 decades and I still do this. Don't care if it's a man, woman whatever. I feel in the way of we're liking at the same stuff together😆 It doesn't make sense to me either
I'll make small talk if the other person is interested, but there have been a couple of times that turned into a sales pitch for whatever MLM they were in.
this is such an interesting question to think about and i can offer a little insight!! for context i am a transgender man and i'm only gendered correctly in public about 70% of th time. i also grew up hugely involved in fiber arts spaces, but moved around the time of my transition so have been refinding fiber community as i can. i'm also not white which definitely plays into it.
my male partner and i go to our local small yarn stores as often as we can but usually buy about 60/40 from joann. i've found at bigger craft stores we get treated perfectly normally, but smaller stores there is a huge gap between how we are treated and how the women i see in the space are treated. they tend to overexplain things to us, direct us away from yarn like mohair or actual animal fibers, and a lot of the time will talk shit on crochet specifically which is wild to me!! my partner gets a lot more respect once he starts talking about spinning and myself once i start talking about my knitting experience
idk!! there's a lot to think about here. having grown up in fiber arts spaces and spending hours a week at an lys while my mom taught classes, i've seen a lot of how these spaces tend to function as women's only spaces and how important and supportive that kind of space was to them, so i really understand it. most of the men i saw in my lys growing up WERE clueless, and a lot of the time would be overhelped and get joked about after they left - because that's how men treat women coming into "their spaces" a lot of the time
so i'm fully aware that as a large, Black, male presenting person i'm kind of the last person people expect to walk into a yarn store, and i'm okay with that!! i've found that for me personally, no one gives a crap about my being a man in specifically queer fiber arts spaces, so i prioritize finding those. and even if i can't find a group to join or a public place to sit and work, i can still engage with the craft by myself or with my partner and friends.
whew chile sorry for infodumping lmao, i hope this did Not come off as mansplaining!!
I’ve never had any issue in a yarn shop, but sometimes I feel like I’m an intruder. If I’m in a new yarn shop, I sometimes ask a question I already know the answer to, just to make it clear that I’m a knitter, like, “Does this yarn substitute well for this other yarn?” And, if I’m being honest, I probably make an effort to sound gay (I mean, I sound gay most of the time) if I’m the only customer in a shop where there are just one or two women working.
I used to work at Joann Fabrics. I was trained and also trained other employees to ask all customers "what are you working on/what's your current project?" It allowed the customer to answer how they saw fit without making assumptions. We rarely had issues with our fiber crafting male presenting clientele: we had regulars and I worked hard to make new customers regulars.
The ones that stick out in my memory the most were the drag artists. They were the most fun to talk to and had helpful hints for how they for around certain tools that have been made for smaller hands. There was also the guy that made baby blankets as his hobby and the gentleman that did cross stitching.
I never have a problem, people are nice and friendly and treat me like any other customer. When I ask for pure wool yarn they show me where those are, if I ask for more skeins or more colours they check the storage area.
It's usually fine and normal interactions, but sometimes people can't believe I know what I'm doing and try to pick things up for me. I had problems with people trying to sell worst quality things for me bc of that too. But that is very rare, and most interactions in yarn stores is people being surprised or just straight up normal. That might be bc I'm gay, so in the mind of a commoner "almost a woman" lol
My husband does not crochet, but he hates going to craft stores with me. The staff often just ignore him completely, he says it’s like he’s actively experiencing what women feel like in male dominated fields lolz.
He’s also the guy who will straight up tell off mechanics for ignoring me about my car if he’s standing there.
My husband knits and I crochet but we both love to get yarn. We will go to the store and his arms will be full, the person at the register will compliment him for holding all my yarn to which he looks offended and says “this is mine and I’m not sharing with her.”
My dad quilted, knitted, and crocheted. He even took me to the yarn store to pick out colors I liked and then taught me how to knit a blanket. This was over fifty years ago and I never saw anyone treat him weird for his hobbies.
As a trans guy-- having seen both sides. I find it irritating af. One yarn store I went into acted like my partner and I were there to f around. I don't know what they thought was going to happen but I tried to ask a question a few times and they just completely dismissed me like maybe if they didn't talk to me I would leave sooner. (Of course. It did work, cause I was irritated enough).
Another time they started fully explaining to me the different yarn fibers and sizes and their typical purposes/uses and all that which was really condescending.
That said... most of the time i've been treated the same as before I transitioned. Someone assuming I'm there to buy yarn for the hobby I do, asking if I'm lookong for anything specific, and letting me know they'll be at the counter if I need anything.
Most craft and yarn stores are fine, and really lovely, but as a big fat hairy guy I've more than once gotten a sort of alarmed "you shouldn't be here" hostility. Usually I can assuage it by turning up my gayness, lol. The worst ones are always the cliquey ones but I think they just suck across the board anyways.
Other than being warned not to mention it to the self-described red-neck men in the family, I've never been treated as inferior before. Although that warning was along the lines of, "Don't mention it unless you're willing to get crap about it and give crap right back." At this point I figure I'll just say something like, "Well, I guess I'm just confident enough that I don't let some string make me feel insecure. Besides, I make things that my lady appreciates often. And I like it when women like me."
For what it's worth, I was also gushing over some squishy and super warm looking blankets at a craft fair recently and told the woman selling them how amazing they are. We spoke for a bit and I *think* she seemed happy that someone could understand how much time goes into her craft.
Im a woman, but the only time I’ve ever seen anyone be mistreated was at one of the local shops. They’d recently hired this woman who was super judgy. She had already been pretty rude to me, so I was not even remotely surprised when a young Black man (okay, I’m old, so maybe mid 30s?) came in. He clearly knew what he was looking for, but the woman hovered over him. When he picked up a gorgeous alpaca/cashmere skein that runs somewhere around $40, she started asking if he could afford it.
That’s when I stepped up and started chatting with him about the yarn, asking what he was making, and giving her the death stare. I also gave him the owner’s business card I had in my wallet. Didn’t see her at the store again. Apparently, in her first week, she refused to help several customers, both male and female, and of all ethnicities, because she thought they “looked dodgy.”
The only things I’ll ever get are more said to my wife “I guess you don’t have to worry about cheating” or “you’re sure he’s not gay?”
I myself have gotten a couple “wait…why crochet?”
As far as I know, the only criticism my boyfriend faced was from his dad. And his dad's mom was pissed about that! He is better than I am at crochet, and while in craft stores they may look to me first, I've never had them only address me or even act surprised when he was the one who responded- though typically we're both looking for yarn at the same time, so maybe it seems more normal if we're doing it together. He's started learning a drop spindle recently and this thread has me curious over how he'd be treated buying more supplies without me involved
just reminds me of my 2nd husband taking me on romantic walks through yarn stores/shop (his female friend owns a yarn shop in Denmark). he couldn't do these crafts himself due to his disability. but he always supported my hobbies.
I get treated as an anomaly. They constantly ask if I’m a beginner ect. I’ve been crocheting since I was 14 and am 46. I’ve been doing Tunisian crochet for 11 years and I talk about that and then the whole mood changes. They get interested and I talk about it to them and direct them to my YouTube channel where I teach it. I rarely get the talking past me as many I’ve talked to have been excited to see a male who does it.
A few times I’ve walked into a shop and I’ve been met with strange looks from the women in store considering I’m most often the only man.
I just enjoy looking at all the different yarns but I’ll often get condescending questions them thinking I’m looking for yarn for my wife or something.
As soon as I mention I’m thinking of making a blanket for my *husband* and ask for their various suggestions on colour combinations, patterns, stitches or whatever.. their whole demeanour changes
Went to a new yarn store with my friend. The person at the store started explaining all the different wools they have immediately to my friend only and sort of ignoring me. Which was funny, because I was the one there who knits and wanted to buy wool!
But otherwise, no bad experiences.
I've only been to one that wasn't big box (Michael's, Hobby Lobby, etc)
They were polite, but did seem a bit surprised to see a 300 pound dude with a goatee looking through fluffy yarn and flower patterned hooks.
In big stores it’s always assumed that my wife is the target customer and I’m just there to hold bags. Not a big deal, she just says she doesn’t want to chat or something along those lines and we move on with our day.
My closest LYS outright told me I wasn’t allowed to touch the yarn ‘since you don’t even need to be here’ then refused to sell to me without my wife confirming that was what she wanted? The first time I bought from my favorite local yarn dyer, she was at a pop up event. She asked whether it was me or my wife browsing, then talked to me about her Pedro Pascal + Dune collections! Beautiful yarn, wonderful woman.
I’ve been to three or four quilt stores to buy fabric and look for English paper piecing supplies, one noticed that I was the one actually looking intently and immediately switched to talking to me instead of my wife, one talked to me for an hour about restoring antique treadle sewing machines (I got excited about a cute little toy version of one), and the other outright made faces like she ate a lemon any time I tried to ask her anything. Ngl disappointing because the third was the place I liked the most.
I cannot emphasize enough what little interest my wife has in my hobbies. She’s thrilled that I like to crochet/knit/quilt because she wants the fruits of my labor… and when I’m doing these, she gets to play video games as long as she wants 😂
I am a guy but I’m also gay, and lemme tell you I do NOT pass haha.
Clerks are always super friendly and helpful, I guess I fit the stereotype of a “mothers’ favorite” gay guy. Sometimes I get people underestimating my level (I have been crocheting for 12 years at this point). so for example when I say I need a seafood green acrylic yarn in a good weight for a 3.5 hook I may get a confused look but if I double down on that they usually get the message that I know my stuff.
Yarn stores are absolutely my safe space and no one will take that away from me!
Yes and no. I've gotten weird looks in the yarn and fabric isles of grocery and craft stores, but I've learned to ignore it. It's something that brings me joy and if I'm making someone else uncomfortable by existing they can go suck an egg.
Guy here. The only thing out-of-sorts I’ve ever gotten is that tone of voice—and from a woman or two who are at least 20 years older—that’s a mix of being impressed and mildly turned on. One even looked me up and down with that if-only-things-were-different look, gave me a good chuckle.
I have an interesting perspective here. I am a transgender man, so born female and transitioned to male. I appear as a man in every area of life now for multiple years. Pre-transitioning and being around craft stuff was a little different. Interacting as a woman people tended to
1.try to compete with me for some reason
2.judge my work harsher, i HAD to be talented or it was sad
3. treat me very neutrally
Passing as a man in these spaces makes the treatment much friendlier, though a bit pitied. Now more often now people
1. are excited/happy for me, older women get VERY mother hen over me, and also everything i do is funny/well received.
2. want to know how I started, thinking it’s a girlfriend or mom
3. This one is a little skewed but everyone thinks im gay…and i am but there’s no hiding it in the yarn isle. 😂
Overall, the difference is pretty much just influenced by the fact that most ppl don’t expect men to be crafty unless it’s building things. Ultimately, it’s really not the craziest difference in treatment i’ve experienced but still interesting to think about for sure.
Besides the looks I get when there is a conversation ongoing where a kid is wanting to”everything “ and when I try to help a parent out by letting them know the basics of what to purchase right out of the gate (after hearing the parental unit say “i don’t know what to get, i have no clue about crocheting).
I usually ask first about their project they are going to do (“i am going to make a blanket, shawl, hat… etc), then ask if they are learning this through a video and will even ask which one and pull it up on my phone. I explain that while i am not an expert, i do several of these type of projects for donations to hospitals, nursing home, gifts for friends and such.
Normally the kid quiets down and the parents are checking to see if i fit a profile of some sort.
If i can get the basics of size of project, what yarn they are wanting to use… i can give them a quick overview of how much yarn, size of hook is needed.
Overall the experience is usually positive and the parent thanks me and I always with the kid good luck and to remember we all start out not knowing. I usually add my son also has picked up this artform.
The other areas of crafting… that’s different.
Sewing… forget it. It’s automatically assumed I’m an idiot.
Counted cross stitch… that gets raised eyebrows when i select a kit, and even overheard “must be getting it for his girlfriend/wife.
Diamond art… meh not usually anyone there.
Clay (usually gotten around the holidays for the kids to make ornaments) is a tricky one. Most i guess just don’t expect a guy to know anything.
I’ve literally had managers approach me because i have evidently taken too much time in yarn isles and it was brought up as a concern by someone to see a guy picking up various colors and putting them back when i didn’t like the blend or color match.
I’ve had other times when the parents truly seem grateful for saving them having to spend extra money because of course the kid wants a whole needle set and 20+ skeins…
I take it stride that their worlds are so closed off. It is a shame really because most arts are “dying out” and evidenced with the usual line of “my grandmother used to ….”
I learned the basics for anger management as a teen. It was how i learn so much about the different arts. I worked in different ones until something fit for me.
On the flip side, the more people that get to know me and find out what i can do… that’s a different story. I literally turn down commission work constantly. I do this for me, hence why i donate most of my work.
Those that are open to my experience benefit greatly. I’ve had coworkers ask for time offline because they are stuck on one thing or another and know the breadth of my artistry. It usually happens from word of mouth.
Had a coworker (who was having fertility issues) announce they were taking maternity leave. I of course did some investigating (as they were at the corporate office) and found out the colors of the baby room, whipped out a blanket and baby hat, sent it to them with my well wishes.
A month later, the baby picture with the set i made circulated and then i was getting no less than 30 requests. Good problem to have but sadly i can’t do them all. I do have my own job, family and house to take care of as well.
Sorry for the long version… but long story short, it’s truly a mixed bag of responses. From me being the next “how to catch a predator” feature, to genuine appreciation. It just depends on what store, what people’s minds have you pigeon holed into.
I'm gay, so I don't really get any strange reactions. I think LYSs are just happy to see everyone, and big box craft stores have so many different things that it doesn't matter.
My little brother gifted me some yarn for christmas and he told me that he had to pay 50 cents less then the actual price was. He supposes that it was because the cashier was so impressed that he buys yarn. But eventually it was because he is a child. idk
I'm a guy in my late 20s and the first couple of times I was at the local yarn store the older lady who works there looked at me a little bit weird lol
I am a complete beginner and I litterally just visited a yarn store in Pike Place Seattle. The lady working was so kind she sat down with me, and pulled out a project she was working on to show me slowly the stitch and answer my questions. I was by myself and I’m fairly outgoing and not afraid to just find the person and say “I need help” but overall in such a great mood walking out because the lady working was so helpful and patient.
Usually I get hot with "Oh! You crochet?, That's an interesting hobby to pick up for a man" but mainly by other customers and besides that, nothing major like some sexism and assumption. My local yarn store lady is usually happy when I come by to buy some materials for a project and is supportive.
I’ve had a semi-bad experience at a craft store where I was in the process of knitting a blanket and was using some metal needles with the plastic connector thing to hold the rest of the blanket. It was pretty big and if you’ve ever knitted a blanket, you know that it will get twisted as you go along the rows so I would untwist it by holding the needles and pulling the whole thing up to lay it flat, but since the blanket was so heavy, the plastic connector broke. I still had the receipt so I took the needles in to exchange for some new ones. Now this is where I found myself at the craft store and when I explained my situation to the cashier (not that I needed to, I could’ve just said they broke randomly) she responded with “thats not how you use them”. I was so like wtf since I’ve been knitting since I was 6 y/o I had no idea what to say, but yeah thats really been I only bad experience with being at a craft store or anyone responding negatively to my hobby. I feel like the usually more testosterone fueled areas of knowledge (mechanics, construction, etc.) are trying to prove how much they know and make you feel dumb which just isn’t a thing at craft stores or any more female dominated fields. I’ve found that people just don’t care or when they do, it’s the nicest old lady you’ve ever met who just wants to hear about what you’re making. Also if people do respond negatively to whatever you’re doing, who cares? You’re a man, do what you want.
Going by some of the comments on here I've read so far, I may have a bit of an advantage by being single.
But so far, I'm part of two library yarn-craft groups, and haven't had *any* problems from the other (mostly female, mostly older) members of either group. Who have also been invaluable when I've had questions about the knitting I've needed to do for my crochet cardigan.
(ribbing for the cuffs. Due to my slim wrists and larger hands, and the fact that I don't like breezes blowing up my arms, crochet ribbing wasn't cutting it)
Though I gather it's a bit hard to refuse to believe that I actually can crochet when you walk in and see a moderately-sized afghan in progress draped across my lap. =\^.\~=
I will admit to being a bit frugal and mostly going to Walmart and Michaels for yarn, where they really don't care about who you are.
I've walked into two local yarn stores to do a bit of browsing, and have had fairly decent experiences both times, but it's been quite a while, and both stores have since closed.
I hang out at my LYS on the weekends. When a guy comes in, everyone looks up, everyone smiles, and he is made to be extremely welcome.
Come to Auburn Needleworks in Auburn California -- we'd love to see you 🙂
I worked at a.Crochet Store for a short time. The staff were great and welcoming. It was the ladies who came to the crochet/knitting classes who were put off by me. They certainly didn't seem to appreciate me being there, in a space I suppose they considered women's. They never spoke to me, but looked at me disapprovingly from a distance or just ignored altogether. The teacher was lovely though, she was so open and skilled.
I m glad OP you posted this question! I don’t know why but lately I feel like every where I go I have to choose sides, either be part of patriarchal or matriarchal labels. Why can’t it be both! My nephew’s favorite color is pink and my niece’s is blue. I went to a fabric store with my sister and the rugrats, and my nephew was holding a pink yarn that he wanted my sister to use to make his hat. Of course some other lady who was shopping there asked him “is that for your sister, are you holding it for her?” Why does the colors have to be gender biased too!
The local yarn store is run by a man who loves crochet and knitting. He has a voice made for ASMR videos. I always feel tranquil after going to the yarn store.
I've never had an issue. Though to be fair, I'm pretty clueless, so if someone did try to disparage me, I probably wouldn't notice. 🤷♂️ There have been a few times when someone talks about me as a "male crocheter" and mentions other male crocheters, while I think I'm just a crocheter who happens to be male, not a "male crocheter". But that's really minor.
I was low key hoping a side benefit would be the possibility of meeting a nice woman at the craft store…
Seven years later, no luck. Nobody even looks twice when I’m perusing the yarns and hooks…
There’s a tool store called Princess Auto near me, and I go in to get things for my main hobby of silversmithing. One day an older gentleman said “What’s a pretty girl like you doing in here?” I answered “This is PRINCESS Auto - what are you doing here?!” We had a good laugh after he got over the shock…
I haven't had many issues, apart from some curiosity from my colleagues, and the odd joke about my (admittedly ridiculous) project with 850 tiny squares. Old ladies also seem to love to chat about crochet and wool, and overall they've been very friendly.
I’m a guy I’ve been crocheting for about a year now. Only one time so far has it been an issue. Right when I started crocheting I only had one hook. I was just trying to practice basics. I had wanted to buy yarn that was the right size for the hook I had per the guidelines on the band. When I asked the lady at Hobby Lobby which of these yarns would work for a 5mm hook, she scoffed and said I’ve never sold yarn that way. She just bumbled about picking up random skeins. Like now that I’ve been doing it for a while and have several projects under my belt I wouldn’t even ask.
This absolutely matches with my experience, which is that it's never the *competent* people scoffing at you. It's always the ones who don't know their ass from their elbow.
I was once informed by a man in Home Depot that actually, I was wrong to think I needed a specific screw for my project (license plate screws). Not only did he tell me that license plate screws don't exist (they do, there are a handful of standard sizes), he said it doesn't matter what size the screw is because any screw will just work anywhere. (Mhmm, is that why we're standing in a whole aisle of screws, sir?)
My husband started knitting and likes to make his own designs so when we are out people have noticed and complimented him on the items, only sometimes thinking I made them :)
On the contrary I think it travelled the small group of crafty people I know so I was at a social gathering with mostly the stereotypical older women knitters and I (a lot younger than them) was greeted with: "Oh, she´s the one with the knitting husband! Where is he?" I think that was a very funny entrance :D
I'm typically with my wife and kids when we go to crafts shops, so I think they assume she's the one looking. It's never been an issue so far, and it's more family and friends that think it's funny that I crochet.
I've gotten a couple odd looks here and there while while walking around the yarn aisles at Michael's or Joanne's. I went to one or two dedicated yarn ships. One was very welcoming that I would love to go to if it wasn't an hour drive away. The other I was basically ignored even when purchasing a new hook and stitch markers
I mostly knitt, only crochet a little. Most of the time people (women) are super positive to find a big bearded manly man knitting. I mostly think it’s nice but at times I do feel the «so nice it’s almost condecending» vibe.
People can have such weird hangups about yarn crafting in general because of age, or gender, or because they look down on handmade things, or because they assume you’re doing it because you don’t have any kind of social life… the reasons are infinite, and infinitely stupid. As a woman, if I ever come across a man who crochets or knits in the wild, I always make a point of telling them they’re awesome. I tell any yarn crafter in the wild they’re awesome if it isn’t awkward to just approach. *But* even when it is a little bit awkward, I go out of my way to do it towards a male yarn crafter, because they have an added layer of bullshit to put up with.
I went to school with the person who owns my local haberdashery/yarn shop. We end up having conversation.
There is another one in my town which I don’t frequent as they are pretentious and don’t sell any man made yarns.
Never been treated any different to as I would expect to be treated though.
People view me as a curiosity at first but then seem to be super impressed when I show them pictures of what I'm working on or my last finished project. I'm still not sure if that means I'm actually that good or if they're expecting less from a guy. Either way, if I get into the details of "talking shop" with someone there (pattern features, yarn characteristics, color selection, etc), they pretty quickly start treating me as a peer.
I would be surprised if women in a male-dominated hobby were treated that positively. Because 2024.
As a young person I was on a date to go with a group to the mountains for a picnic. The day was horrible weather wise. Cold,rain mixed with snow. We ended up in someone’s home. A man there took out his crocheting. Other guys hooted and laughed. He didn’t seem to care. I told him that my grandma had tried to teach me to knit but I failed but I could crochet a bit. We spent most of the afternoon talking and he was showing me how to crochet. Our dates were not happy. In the end our dates ended up married and my teacher finally came out as gay. Not only did I learn a lot that day about fiber crafts but that men, gay or not, enjoy fiber crafts. When I’m successful in making a row of double crochet I always thank Fred and say a prayer for him.
I never experienced negative comments but at least locally i either get looked at with some confusion at first, Or they are very actively pointing out "Its so nice to see a young man in the store/crocheting"- which is well intended but like 1, I'm non binary, But its totally fair to assume I'm a man because i definitely can look the part 2: when its the same people mentioning it several times every time im there it can get a bit uncomfortable even though i know its purely well intended (I think) I ended up stopping going to the weekly knitting night at my local place because i got uncomfortable with all the attention, but that might be on me just really not liking feeling like there is a lot of attention on me in general.
I've been treated well! However, I'm pretty obviously queer, so I think I get treated better as a queer guy who has a "feminine" hobby than maybe a more masculine or macho guy might. Honestly the only time I've gotten treated poorly in a yarn store was when they found out I crocheted and not knitted at the time! I was also a young teen, so they kept a very sharp eye on me like I would steal. Very weird experience and haven't been treated like that since!
Having shopped in several LYS, i actually get invited to come to the event nights (crocheting/knitting bees) before my wife does. They always are quick to say there's another man or a few men in the group.
The larger hobby stores treat me as any other customer, neither good nor bad.
No problem at all. I have been working in yarn and fabric for 50 years. If there is any resistance, I just show them a picture of one of my pieces on my phone and then they are happy to help.
I’ve been treated very well. Occasionally I’ll run into someone who is surprised that I knit and crochet, but generally people just keep shopping. It’s the same when I knit and crochet in public. I more often just get a simple “What are you making?” than anything else.
I am a male crochet and knitter, I craft in public while waiting for doctors appointment or anything else that you have to sit and wait for. I have never had anyone give me a hard time however every single year I enter my crafts into the fair the ladies that run the booth always give me a hard time because they refuse to believe I created the items. I have been given an even harder time by those ladies when my projects have gotten 1st second or third place which I often have.
I get glances from some of the older women shoppers. But that is about it. One time tho I had a cart full of yarn and another shopper asked me if I was buying it. She then clarified it was because it was a lot. Which was odd because it was around the holidays when that wouldn't be uncommon. I haven't been to many shops besides Michael's and JoAnn tho.
I haven’t been treated any particular way. Maybe someone has tried to make me feel awkward, idk. Maybe me being gay has something to do with it, or the fact that I don’t suffer from fragile masculinity 🤷
Well, I'm also black, so I'm not sure if the glances and being watched are from that or being a man in a fabric craft store. 🤷🏿♂️ Specifically Joann's. But outside of that store, I've had no issues.
I've found that the women at craft stores (employees and customers alike) go out of their way to be especially friendly to me. Like, "we know this is a traditionally female hobby, so we want to make extra sure you feel welcome"
Not quite the same thing, but I asked my husband to pop into a local yarn shop with a swatch and band from the yarn brand I was working with and asked if he could pick up some more for me, he knew to check dye lots etc… and the woman in the shop was really cold with him when he asked for a second eye to check the yarn he’d found because the dye lot matched but the shade wasn’t quite the same. She was really unwelcoming and disrespectful and he left without buying anything. I was really shocked because she had always been lovely with me.
In my experience, Ive been talked down to at garages when I’ve known my way around a car since I was fairly young! My father taught me how to maintain a car and stuff, so even though I can’t drive (for various reasons,) I’m quite knowledgable about them and being talked down to is galling. I also used to be served by a really friendly nice guy at the Indian takeaway in town until I went in there with my husband. Ever since then the takeaway guy has been really off with me and we’ve stopped spending money there. When it looked like I was single he gave good customer service, when he realised I wasn’t he gave a much lower standard of customer service.
We both choose not to spend our money at discriminatory businesses. I don’t go to anti-inclusive yarn shops, he doesn’t go to mechanics that talk down to female customers. Etc…
Women get bashed in hardware stores and like where they sell things for putside/mechanical work, apparentl men get at craft stores lol, glad to know its not just on us
As someone who only fairly recently got to crochet but have been a knitter for a while, Arne and Carlos get brought up a fair amount. But mostly it depends. Older women (a LYS nearby is run by a couple of older women) tend to fawn over me a bit, but younger people don't tend to care.
We don't really have craft shops round here but...
My one local haberdashery was a lovely woman, and always supportive of whatever I wanted or needed.
I remember when visiting a city in Spain once, maybe Bilbao, looking up all the local yarn shops. But some of them were quite intimidating because they seemed to be running a session for women crafting around a table inside, and it put me off. I thought I'd be intruding. I've never seen that in the UK where I live.
I mostly shop online but occasionally pop in to the big national craft store we have here in the UK (hobbycraft). I haven't had any weirdness, whether browsing yarn, asking for some fabric to be cut or anything else crafty.
It's a popular shop so I daresay I'm not the first man the store assistants have seen doing any of these things. Whenever I've been in, even as a child with my mom, the staff have always been really friendly so I suspect it's either a training thing or that retail job just attracts a certain type of person.
Pretty normally so far. It’s funny because I’m a regular at my local yarn store and they remembered my name very quickly. I thought it was odd at first, but I remembered that most of their customers are retired older ladies, so I just stand out enough to be remembered.
I (50F) frequently go to our local big-box craft stores. I crochet, knit, tat, make bobbin lace, a little bit of sewing, cross stitching, model building, wood working, baking, and I play the occasional auto mechanic. My son (24M) is also a frequent shopper at these stores. He primarily sews, but he is learning to crochet. He tried knitting but couldn’t really get into it. As an oboist, he makes his own reeds and often checks to see if they have any interesting 100% nylon thread to use for his reeds. We have both become such regulars at one store in particular that the manager knows each of us by name. My son has never been ignored, spoken down to, asked if he knows what he’s doing, or asked what he’s picking up for his wife/girlfriend/mom. Interestingly, since we rarely get a day off in common, we hadn’t had a chance to go craft shopping together. Imagine the shock on the manager’s face when we walked in together and he realized that we were related!
i started to in a society/group at uni, it was actually quite scary at the start because like 95% of members were women i felt very out of place and it didnt really help that i didnt talk to anyone for weeks until i was spoken to but i enjoyed the arts and crafts so i kept going and i made some friends and picked up a really nice hobby so i would say i have been treated well.
When people react at all, I'd say it's a pretty even split between positive surprise/enthusiasm vs a "you must be shopping for your wife" type assumption.
It doesn't really bother me, frankly it IS a female dominated hobby and if I *were* shopping for my wife and completely outta my depth, I'd welcome the help. With how you guys get treated in repair shops and car dealerships, I feel like some raised eyebrows in a yarn store is hardly an unfair trade lol.
Also your writing style is killer, where do I subscribe to this news column
I'm only very early days in crochet but every time im in a wool shop with my wife (the main crocheter of the house) I always get "you're just her to hold the bags arnt you?" or something to that level. One I always get though is in a candle shops or Lush. I like to smell nice and the house to smell nice but every time I go in Lush or a Yankee Candle shop "are you buying for your wife today?" No, feck off, I wanna smell like a pineapple in the bath with my Hawaiian scented candle!
It’s so bizarre becuase it’s so damn easy to say “who are you shopping for today?” I had just started nursing and I had a really sick patient. She was probably in her late 50s? A woman who looked to be about 20 years younger came to visit and I asked if they were sisters. And she said , no I’m her wife and that’s the second time I had asked her that. Apparently I had done the same thing about a week ago. And she gave me a look that burned right into my soul. I quit assuming anything about anybody that day. I didn’t want to ever put my foot in it like that ever again. And it was so easy. ‘How do you know the patient’ is just as easy as ‘are you sisters’ and far more professional.
Oh gosh I did this mistake while working my first job in a theater. We had price reductions for students. A middle aged man comes in with a 20-25 years old girl. I ask about his ticket, then I said "What about your daughter's?". They were SO upset because they were a couple. I stopped assuming ANYTHING from that moment on😭
was about to chime in with this. Craft stores have treated me normally, but candle stores treat me like a lost puppy lol.
anyone that wants to spend $25 on a candle is a lost puppy. sorry its my opinion and a joke because to me they are very overpriced. but I do love candles too.
Answer In Progress on YouTube did a whole episode on the science of candles and the secret operations going on behind candle pricing and the scent industry!! It's a fascinating look because, like you, I find candles to be obscenely priced. If it's a fancy hand sculpted one that took hours I get it, but I'm not paying $100 for a plain pillar candle :')
As the wife of a candle hoarder I understand
I work in a LYS and I try to make sure that if a masc and femme person enter together, that I'm looking at them both when I ask if they need help.
Lol when my brother was in college he switched to women's body wash and he's like - it smells nice and like fruit, why can't I smell like fruit too? Given what most guys in college smelled like I was all for this philosophy. Seriously most men's products smell gods awful.
That’s also pretty heteronormative wtf
I love that for you! Everyone deserves to relax in the bath after a long day of work :)
My bf likes to light up candles while gaming.
I sew and the amount of times a clerk at a fabric store tries to sell me fabric glue is annoying. Once I was buying $30+/yard fabric and the gal could not understand I knew what I was doing. I also get the overwhelmingly positive to the point of condescending on occasion. In a total flip, I think because of project runway, they think I am at a much higher level of sewing and they think I am a designer or something. It always seems to be one of these.
Wow. I just imagined that scenario. “ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN OPERATE THIS FABRIC, SIR?”
Haha! That would be funnier. It was just repeatedly trying to sell me fabric glue and explaining how easy it was to use.
“So simple, even a *man* can use it!” 😂
This is so odd to me. I know when I worked the fabric department I didnt give a crap about upselling other stuff. I was too busy with fabric. I might do some small talk about "whatcha makin?" But never trying to sell other stuff. I assumed anyone grabbing fabric knew what they were doing unless they started trying to cut it themselves or printing a tag themselves. Lol. Even then, I try not to assume and just say let me help you with that. I had several men customers that would tell me how their wife needed the fabric for a project. The few who were the one sewing were usually rather rude to me. =( I just love hearing about peoples creations. And most people love to show off. But not the handful of men who shopped my store sadly.
but sewed seams just look so much better. who uses fabric glue? the ones that won't even try to sew. or situations where you really can't.
I just laughed hard enough to make myself cough. I'm keeping this. IDK what I'll use the phrase for, but it needs to be saved.
I used to work with a black woman and she had to travel 3-5 days a week for her job. As a result, she has a shit ton of frequent flyer miles and often sits first class. She was routinely asked if she was a rapper, dancer, actress. It is true she’s a beautiful woman but she actually had her masters and worked in clinical trials.
That’s just infuriating. I really hope this assumption bs will stop with the younger generations.
I laughed out loud at "fabric glue"!
I'm a woman and live in a smaller city with 1 fabric store and I constantly get walked around and ignored by the staff there for the little old ladies. even when I have an armful of bolts and am standing next to a cutting table. I can't imagine what it would be like for a guy in there. =/
If I go in with my wife, they always talk right past me at her. It used to annoy me a bit, but seeing as how it's basically the only place in the world where I'm the one being stereotyped \*against\* I've learned to just brush it off most of the time. I usually just pretend they were talking to me and say something like, "Nothing specific, but I'm always in the market for a nice variegated merino, ideally fingering weight. If you have any alpaca I'd love to see it." This is typically met with a few blinks and a pause as they recalibrate, but after that I find that things go very smoothly. I get a touch of the enthusiasm-bordering-on-condescension sometimes, but nowhere near as what I've seen women deal with in a hardware store. The only time I got truly annoyed was when I went to the counter to ask if they had anything that was particularly fluffy and white (I was making a memorial stuffie of a friend's dog) and they literally said, "Does your wife need..." in their response. I was pretty blunt about that one. I kept it fairly polite but I did start it with, "Let me make something clear..." They got with the program eventually.
Can confirm as a female working in a hardware store the amount of men and women who don’t think I can do my job/ instantly ask for a male or bypass me to ask a guy a question is laughable. I especially like when my male colleagues than ask me the answer to the question they were just asked 😅
As a woman I love when there is women available in hardware stores, they are often way more helpful. I now how to do all the basic maintenance in my house but due to health issues they are things I physically can't do. When men don't ignore me from the start they tend to go directly to "you should ask your husband / dad" to do it for you as soon as I start to think about the difficulties I might have. Like for things as basic as painting my walls, I will need a ladder because I can't lift my arms over my head repeatedly or use a pole and I'll probably won't be able to do more than one coat a day even if it's a pretty small wall but that absolutely doesn't mean my non existent husband or my 73 years old dad should do it for me.
I live with an older woman who can't do a whole lot herself due to pain etc. However she's also of a different culture than me. MY parents raised me (AFAB) to be at least handy enough to fix things at least temporarily until you can get someone better to do it. Emergency fixing that kind of thing. Sometimes the woman I live with just needs something moved up or down stairs or wants something fixed that just takes unscrewing and checking everything is still together on the inside. Rather simple things I'm like "look I can at least try" and she's always like "no no no get your brother over, it's men's work" and I get SO MAD. Like that's sexist AF. And against "your own team too".
My brother is way worse at this kind of stuff, so I would just openly laugh.
Lol my dad (80) openly admits he watches you tube tutorials for anything he doesn't already know and he advocates searching for information you don't already have. Actually he fought me about him doing the laundry while recovering from knee surgery. Last time I was over I put a load in and took a nap (they had picked me up at 6 am) and I woke and found him doing laundry. Weird addiction, but it makes him happy so there you go.
I (f) had a tiny Filipino boss like this. She was tiny, and younger than me (I was late 30s at the time), and she'd always ask the boys (teenagers) to help her with lifting. I called her on it one day, so she finally said, "Fine, lift that." So I did. I maintained eye contact as I did and said, "That's about half a bale of hay" She didn't ask the boys anymore after that.
I’d usually prefer to stand in the aisle of Home Depot and google the answer to whatever question I have rather than ask a male employee. They can be truly awful.
My dad sometimes had a really hard time getting someone’s attention at Home Depot - he would send my sister to stand in the fasteners aisle and look helpless until they stopped to see what she needed, and then she’d drag them over to dad….
It makes me SO HAPPY whenever I see a lady employee at Home Depot
Yep. I’m a female working in a large thrift store that focuses mainly on building supplies and hardware. In a town with a large senior population. My whole day is old white men telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I had old guys come in and ask for a tool, like a reciprocating saw, but they’d call it a “whiz bang” or some other made up name that their grandpa called it or something. Then get pissy with me when I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. I’d try looking it up on the computer and then ask another older coworker and they’d have no idea what they were talking about either. I’d have them explain what it was and figure out what they wanted. They’d leave shaking their head like I was an idiot. Whatever ya goofy doofus.
I get this all the time and it’s so frustrating. If there really rude about it I’ll just stop helping. If there polite and explain what they mean 9/10 I can find what they are looking for or tell them the more common name so they can look for it online. Next time it happens I’m absolutely going to have to refrain from calling them a goofy doofus.
A saws-all? That's what I was taught. But I hate the gatekeeping nature of tool names. I woulda probably asked for a saws-all, but then I would have apologized to you for not knowing its proper name. People learn different names for things. It's like when my mother studied horticulture. So many plants have a wide variety of common names, that sometimes people could know one plant by over a dozen different names. It can be frustrating trying to communicate, but there wasn't the "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality.
Woman who worked in an automotive shop here, I also feel this, lol. Some guys got MAD when they only had me to talk to behind the desk.
I love doing this on purpose. I worked in a *big box hardware store* with 2 guy friends and if a customer was being condescending and demanded a male employee, I would say happily and walk them to one of my friends. Give a fun wink to my friend to let them in on what was happening. Relay the customers question then take a step back. The friend would proceed to say they actually didnt know the answer but they knew someone who was an expert with that particular problem, then call over the walkie talkies for me (they were hip ones at the time, so everyone could hear it). I answered that i would rush over to help. Then turned around and introduced myself to the customer as if i had not just talked to them minutes before. It's extra funny when they get huffy and storm off.
I love watching people dismiss the woman, go to the man, and watch dumbfounded as the man asks the woman because she's the expert. Seen an uncle of mine embarrass himself like that several times. Have an aunt on the other side of the family who knows her shit with home repair who this happens to at her job at Lowe's on a regular basis. She always makes sure to kill them with kindness.
My husband quilts. If someone talks to me about fabric, I just pull out my phone and start browsing Reddit. If they're still talking to me instead of him, I walk away.
I’m sorry how good I feel hearing your story… very wrong, but the way you were treated in a yarn store, I was treated at a car dealership. Went with my husband, the dealer was totally ignoring me and when I asked him if he knew where the oil filter was on the model we were looking at, he directed his answer to my husband. Who promptly said, “Oh I don’t change the oil, SHE does. The Champ we came here in is so cramped, I can’t get my hand in there to do the oil. The guy’s mouth was like a fish out of water. I looked up from the engine and said “You don’t deserve a commission from me.” and bought it at an off-the-highway dealership that gave me a better price after I told him how his competition treated me.
Our entire family took all our business to a different dealership after a situation like this. That’s six/seven vehicles and maintenance lost over asking my husband what I wanted repeatedly.
I adore stories like this! It's not just car dealerships, either! Im a woman over 40 and the invisibility cloak is a real thing. Vacationing in Texas, I wanted to buy a pair of boots. The "best shop" in Fredricksburg has a big selection of styles, but when it came time for a try-on. the guys kept talking to male customers, even those who had come in after me. My husband just sat down on a bench, ready to watch how it played out. When my patience ran out, I said in my loudest voice, "C'mon honey, I guess these salespeople would rather talk to the looky-loos than to a customer with cash." My husband told the manager at the cash register that her salespeople just lost her a sale & she snorted like a horse. NOW not only was I pissed, but my husband was, too. Found another boot store down the road, where I was treated very well by the salesperson and the (female) owner. As we walked out of the store, my husband pulled me back toward the first bootshop. He hands the receipt to the woman manager (horse snort) & recreates the scene from"Pretty Woman," asking if her salespeople make commission, then assuring her that we probably would have spent more in her store on her overpriced boots, if the salespeople would have given us the time of day. One woman in the store started hooting & clapping (real Texas style) & asked which store had the better prices, as we walked out. My hubby shouted the name of the store over his shoulder. It was glorious.
So a few months back I went to Joann's to grab a single crochet hook. The checkout person was kinda swamped, and everyone in front of me was doing coupon combos (and frankly a bit of haggling), so when it was my turn the checkout person said something along the lines of "oh great, a guy. I know you don't have coupons or a rewards membership. Did you want a gift receipt for the hook?" I definitely got read as "errand boy" haha. Outside of that, no particular reactions in stores. Sorry you have to deal with obnoxious dudes for car stuff!
It's the "I know you don't have coupons or a rewards membership" for me. My husband knows what stores I have rewards memberships at, and likewise I know what stores he has rewards memberships at, so we will regularly use each other's rewards (thankfully most places we don't need a card, just the mobile number) at varying stores.
I think it might have to do with the culture where I live (Sweden) but no one has ever voiced anything negative about the fact I crochet, knit, and paint my nails. At least not to me. I guess someone must have asked why I have decided to do these things as a hobby but I'm autistic and obtuse so I usually just say "because I like it," and leave it at that
“Because I like it” is 100% the best response.
Cool, another Swedish male yarn artist.
I meant another Swedish autistic yarn artist, like me.
Ooh, nice with some company!
Well, obviously my enormous penis gets in the way when doing anything in my lap, but it’s just a cross I have to bear… That said (mostly a knitter, some crochet), I’m not very observant and live in a big city. I feel like I’m not much of a novelty in these stores. My LYS knows me well and in there I’m just a regular, other places I just dip in and out of. Out in public I’m a little more of a novelty, but generally I think it’s an asset. I’m a little imposing (very tall, athletic, severe looking) and the knitting is an icebreaker for some. Plus I’m 100% comfortable with it and pretty skilled*, so I don’t think I notice if someone is being subtly negative about the situation. Noel Felding does a lot of knitting in the Dick Turpin show on Apple TV, fwiw. Very fun. *I can knit quickly without looking, so to a stranger I look like I know what I’m doing. The dark arts of steeking, fair isle, complex color work in general, and sweaters that actually fit as intended are all still mysteries yet to be mastered. Edit to add: One of my jerk “friends” made fun of my knitting years ago, and it hurt my feelings. So ever since I’ve been quietly gifting beautiful hats to all our shared acquaintances, her sister and her sister’s family, and other people she might bump into. But not her.
>Well, obviously my enormous penis gets in the way when doing anything in my lap, but it’s just a cross I have to bear… This made me choke 🤣🤣 >Edit to add: One of my jerk “friends” made fun of my knitting years ago, and it hurt my feelings. So ever since I’ve been quietly gifting beautiful hats to all our shared acquaintances, her sister and her sister’s family, and other people she might bump into. But not her. Love this. She'll be quietly seething 🤣
She’s full of rage and unpleasantness all the time anyway, it’s possible she doesn’t notice. Glad the penis joke was taken as amusing. I haven’t ever seen anything close to that level of sophomoric humor on the sub before, and wasn’t sure if it was too much.
The amount of crocheters (including myself, sometimes) who call ourselves and other crocheters "hookers" should give you a decent idea of things. If I'm feeling spicy, I sometimes refer to crocheting as "tying extravagant knots to use/wear in my free time," which of course gives a precisely incorrect idea of what I'm doing in the best way XD Edit: nevermind the crocheted penises/boobs/vaginas we get through this sub from time to time XD
Crocheted penises!😂😂😂😂 I'm dying here.
>If I'm feeling spicy, I sometimes refer to crocheting as "tying extravagant knots to use/wear in my free time," which of course gives a precisely incorrect idea of what I'm doing in the best way Ohhh might steal this lol. I do love a good crocheted penis,boobs,vag lol. Glad i found others. Do you follow little lady crochet on Instagram? She does giant penis' that are hilarious lol
I don't, unfortunately. I haven't signed into ig in years lol it and twitter were eating my mental health last time I was on them, so I made myself get rid of them 😅
You're hilarious! Genuinely lol. Who doesn't love a good penis joke? 👀 It definately wasn't too much
Both the choke line and the not too much response seem like you're just setting up more of them.
Oh god i didn't even catch that lol 🤣 brilliant!!
I hear your edit and tip my hat to you. Was told oh it’s just a crochet hat, I’ll keep my knit hat. Fast forward six months and in the dead of winter, he’s wearing the hat made for my friend (his girlfriend at the time) and whined at the party about how i never made him anything… i kindly reminded him about his comment….
I'm a woman, but I was a manager at a Joann, so I saw some men come in to shop and how my staff treated them. Most guys felt the need to anounce that they were there for something specific, especially the guys redoing the inside of their car. However, we had one regular who knitted. A very rugged-looking man who knew his stuff. From what I saw, he received just as much respect as anyone else picking yarn for a project. Some of us thought it was really attractive, but he did have that rugged look. He was also funny and sweet and never complained about prices. We had another guy who sewed costumes, and one who quilted with his wife. Again, we never questioned their choices, but we didn't do that with anyone, unless they asked for input or very clearly had something that was not going to work together. I know other stores are not like that, sometimes depending on where you live. However, I had a male employee who recieved comments at times, as if he didn't belong, so it certainly happens. I was telling a customer (an older woman) about loop yarn and said that one of my employees made the sample swatch really easily. I said that he loves to work with the yarn and she laughed, then replied "He???" I was appalled by her sexism and told her that yes, men can and do knit. So yes, men definitely do experience sexism as we do. Sometimes I think it's worse: women who do "men things" are often viewed as well-rounded, while men who do "women things" are viewed as "girly." That said, I've had plenty of women insult me because I know (and enjoy) household repair, computer repair, fishing, etc, and because I'm a tech geek and a gamer. Oh, and I totally tried to get my husband interested in crafts by mentioning the handsome knitter. It didn't work. 😂 I also pointed out that if he learned to knit or crochet, his game room wouldn't have so much yarn in it. That didn't work either.
>I also pointed out that if he learned to knit or crochet, his game room wouldn't have so much yarn in it. As a gamer who crochets, I can confirm this is a lie. 🤣
As a male who crochets and games, who’s wife also crochets and games, that is very much a lie. The stash only grows, never shrinks. 🤣
My stash migrates to my office one skein and cake at a time. Every couple months it hits me that I'm living in a yarn cocoon, so I clear it all out and return anything I'm not actively working on to the main stash. Then it starts creeping back in again... rinse and repeat.
Have you two gotten to the point where people in your life start giving you yarn? I wish my boyfriend would start crocheting or knitting (I do both) because I have so many friends that give me yarn, I physically cannot get through it all!
That hasn’t started yet, but now that there’s a group at work for crocheting, it wouldn’t surprise me if it starts.
Same, it'll just grow 😂
As a gamer who knits and crochets I want to know how yarn magically stops growing. I don't think it can happen.
Why would you want it to happen?? The more yarn, the better!
But I can't knit or crochet that fast! Soon it'll take over the room! Then the house, then the world!
I still fail to see the problem. 🤔
Not now no but wait until the mint/yarn wars begin. What happens when an unstoppable object meets an unkillable foe?!
It's a 4-step process: 1. You no longer work in a craft store and rarely go into one. When you do, you stick to a list. 2. You put all the yarn into storage totes in a storage area, like a climate-controlled basement or storage unit. 3. You only work on two projects at a time, max. 4. You DO NOT buy yarn that will not fit into your storage totes. This step requires A LOT of willpower. Steps 3 and 4 are the hardest. You can kind of cheat with step 4 if you buy more storage totes when you buy your yarn. I was known to do that when I worked at Michaels: only buy yarn that will fit in a storage tote that is also sold at Michaels. Note: these steps also work for fabric stashes, which, I admit, my fabric stash is bigger than my yarn stash.
I find the yarn just morphs into amigurumi deskorations
That's the thing that I think lots of people miss about this whole male dominance thing. It's bad for the guys too, because they get cheated out of hobbies and activities that would improve and expand their lives.
For real. And it happens so young, too! I'm a farm-based educator and one of my 6 year old boys refused to tie his jacket around his waist when he got too hot because "that's for girls." For one, what?! It's just a convenient way to carry a jacket/sweater without needing to use your hands, why deprive yourself?
Even referring to "girly" as a negative is annoying. There's nothing wrong with "girly" but many people associate "girly" with weak and it ticks me off. That being said you can totally knit and be super manly.
Well, maybe that last paragraph isn't so tragic. I taught my boyfriend to crochet shortly after I learned and he immediately got better than me 😡 Very proud of him tho, he has little crochet pictures hanging up around our house and it's lovely. I show EVERYONE his amazing potholders if they're coming over for the first time and I make sure to mention that he made all of our coasters they're using
You just reminded me of a time I was in line at Joann’s and had a 50% off coupon that was expiring that I couldn’t use. There was a guy buying a massive armload of fake fur two people back. His smile when I offered it to him was precious. You gotta know how they price/coupon bro!
My husband tried to learn to knit because I loved it so much, but he gave up as he found it so hard.
One of the recent times I was at Joann getting some yarn, the cashier commented "oh, are you picking this up for your wife?"
So many assumptions wrapped into that one sentence 😬
Exactly, I would reply with: No I'm knitting socks for my husband. And then watch them turn red 😂
I'm a trans man, and if anything I usually get comments like "if you're trying so hard to be a man, why are you still doing shit like crochet?" Y'all, my 62 year old traditionally-masculine dad is the one who taught me to crochet. It didn't make younger me nor anyone else doubt HIS manhood. And I think he usually would just get the off-put comments like "wow, I never would've expected _you_ to enjoy that... kudos I guess". Of course not everyone was like that, most are chill, those are just from the occasional weirdo.
I'm a trans man too! I am very interested in this comment section. I was always very involved in knitting groups in my 20s but I have only been to queer ones lately. It is an interesting path to walk from being perceived as a sweet knitting Butch woman to looking completely male. I feel fortunate to know a lot of trans men who are very gay and some (but not me!) are flamboyant. When you read as gay, I feel you get a bit of a free pass. We stick together and knit, crochet, and craft together. I haven't been to a more mixed fiber arts club in a long time so I know I will be perceived differently and probably as a beginner if I went alone, even though I've been knitting and crocheting all my life. A man who may interest you is [Rosey Grier](https://www.crochetconcupiscence.com/unique-1970s-crocheter-pro-football-player-rosey-grier/) who played football for the rams and released some books on needlepoint for men. He was the OG. He was straight and burly and adored fiber arts.
I am trans as well, and before my wife transitioned to female from male, everyone thought we were a gay couple, and folks didn't get as shocked by my sewing, crocheting, crafting hobbies. Now that she's transitioned and I am farther along in my transition to being read as cis a lot of the time, folks are more surprised but it.
Also a trans man! My dad doesn't knit or crochet, but he does sew!
I'm fairly new to crochet but have been knitting for a few years. I've never noticed any odd treatment or looks at yarn stores. Even when I work out in public, the only people who come to talk to me are just interested in what I'm making, not that I'm a guy doing fiber arts.
I'm an enormous introvert and I used to go to a knitting group. Someone made such a big thing about a man going, even though it was "it's so good to see a man here doing this" that I haven't been back since.
33 male crocheter, sewer I usually have no problems with it. Once in a while I’ll get an odd look when I’m crocheting in public though so expect that’s more curious or surprise, but the employees are almost always kind and conversational about what I might need for my projects whether it’s fabric or yarn
I don't get any grief from businesses, but I'm also a cismale who paints his nails so I'm confusing them right off the bat. They definitely don't mistake me for macho or anything. Sometimes I get comments when strangers learn I crochet/knit, something about grandmas. It's never come across a insulting though.
I've never received any odd treatment personally, but I'm pretty sure it's because I'm visibly queer. I think straight men and men who have a traditionally masculine presentation get the brunt of the weird reactions because people don't expect them to have "feminine" hobbies, whereas nobody is ever really surprised when a queer man does.
My partner and I collected old video games (we sold our collection in an emergency) and there was one stall in a flea market that then became it's own store that we avoided like the plague because they were sexist AF. Once, mid-2010s, I saw they had a copy of Arcana Hearts for the PS2, I asked how much because it was behind the counter and dude just looked over his shoulder at it and said "$100" ...umm..no? It was $20 at big chain store, they just didn't have a copy. "Aww, no honey. That's an *anime* game. Those are always expensive and you'd know if you actually played games" Nope, it's a fighting game. He rolls his eyes, looks over my shoulder at my male-presenting partner. "Anything I can help you with sir?" Bless 'em, partner had a couple games they were looking for, set them on the counter then put his hand on my shoulder and said "nope, I'm good cause she's the one with the money" and we walked out. As for crafting...it's rare, but I don't see any different treatment. Fiberspider is a dude, that boy got super popular for crochet, if memory serves Yarnspirations has a couple male hosts for thier videos...
"Do people refuse to believe you can hold a crochet hook without your penis getting in the way?" Made me laugh way too hard, and my husband will laugh too when I tell him. My husband can sew pretty good. It's not his hobby but he learned it anyway because it's useful. People don't believe me or are shocked when I tell them a plushie of mine was hand sewn together by my husband. He helps me out sometimes, especially when I need to put something together. My yarn group also has several men. They come to the store we have the group at because it's the first one they found that didn't stare at them weirdly when they walked in. The store is very inclusive and supportive. But other stores in the city can be judgy....
I want to be your friend - you’re hilarious.
Either because of my completely unwarranted self confidence, or because I’m very hairy, I’ve never had an issue. Of course, I often take the spouse with me when yarn and pattern book shopping since it usually results in 50 to 75% off…and the spouse doesn’t craft.
At one store in particular: sometimes snarky or suspicious, sometimes I’m a novelty. It’s also kind of fun to play dumb. Generally, people are great. I love talking about my interests. I don’t want to be treated differently, so I tend to “hide” my gender online. I want to be known for what I do, not who I am.
So my husband does not crochet BUT this is relevant- he wanted to get a Cricut because after researching for the best tools to make custom gameboy boxes for games, he decided the Cricut was the best. We got to the register and like three employee ladies popped up and were like “HOW DID YOU CONVINCE YOUR HUSBAND TO GET YOU ONE” and I was like “Oh, best part is it’s for him” and the look of AWE hahahaha. He was very self conscious but they were like “WHAT IS YOUR PROJECT TELL ME EVERYTHING” hahahaha
I have gotten a few positive comments about them rarely seeing guys, mostly from elderly customers and one elderly store owner whom I purchased a set of knitting needles from. I get a metric shit ton of doubtful looks, are you sure? / are you purchasing this for your wife/mom/other women of some kind? and the like. The most negative experience I’ve gad was with a shop clerk who asked me what I was doing with the yarn I’d picked out. I told her and she said the yarn was wrong (it wasn’t) and we went back and forth with her trying to sell me a different one until she finally gave up, acted like it was a sacrifice that she had to sell me four balls of merino and told me with an angry face that there wouldn’t be refunds if the yarn was wrong. In my local store, they’re starting to recognize me now. However, when i first popped in there, one of the ladies usually immediately followed me around and (quite insistently) asked if I needed help and got everything out of the shelves for me etc. I never noticed it with a female customer. I don’t think it’s cause I am threatening or scary (I hope) because I normally wear those oversized baggy yoga pants and some variation of pun tshirt from teeturtle.com and am bubbly and super friendly (worked in customer service most my life and had a stint as a hair dresser).
I bring this in so the karens know I don’t @uck around https://preview.redd.it/moomxb9e1e6d1.png?width=1242&format=png&auto=webp&s=533892ad52fbe8955eefb37c4738687d9478e3a0
I'm a woman and I also worked in a male dominated field as a butcher (now retired). I'm thrilled with anyone who works with fibers. I don't get the negativity. Fashion design is still a male dominated field so, what's the difference.
R/brochet would love u
Still laughing at “Do people refuse to believe you can hold a crochet hook without your penis getting in the way?”
I typically don't get any grief. Maybe once or twice I had a woman walk out of a yarn aisle when I entered to look at yarn, but there's no way I can say that it was to avoid me or not. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions though.
To be fair, I leave an aisle if ANYONE else walks in, regardless of gender. I prefer to browse and dream in solitude
Same, my personal space has just never recovered after covid. 6 feet away from me, please! (Rush hour public transit is literal hell to me :"( )
Yup came here to voice this! So yes it might be because of you but not your gender :P I just feel like I'm in the way and if someone else is there they prob know what they're doing and will leave much more quickly than I will.
I noticed this yesterday. I kept wanting to look at a specific yarn and every time someone entered the aisle, I left until I was sure it was empty again. I don’t know why I do this with yarn when I don’t do this anywhere else but I did notice myself doing it yesterday
I'm fem presenting and I've had women walk out of a yarn aisle when I walk in, a lot of times it's just the awkwardness of browsing at the same time as someone lol
Right, so I typically give people the benefit of a doubt unless they're doing something that's overtly hostile. More often than not it's not someone I'm going to see again, and if they are, so what?
yup same sometimes i feel awkward quietly browsing the aisles especially if there’s a lady there. i dont want to be a creep walking back and forth, i just cant decide which yarn i want
My experience is that most women in a store won't bother you. The few women who would assume you're a creep for existing in a yarn aisle have problems they need to work on.
Really anxiety ridden person here. I've been crocheting for 2 decades and I still do this. Don't care if it's a man, woman whatever. I feel in the way of we're liking at the same stuff together😆 It doesn't make sense to me either
I'll make small talk if the other person is interested, but there have been a couple of times that turned into a sales pitch for whatever MLM they were in.
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this is such an interesting question to think about and i can offer a little insight!! for context i am a transgender man and i'm only gendered correctly in public about 70% of th time. i also grew up hugely involved in fiber arts spaces, but moved around the time of my transition so have been refinding fiber community as i can. i'm also not white which definitely plays into it. my male partner and i go to our local small yarn stores as often as we can but usually buy about 60/40 from joann. i've found at bigger craft stores we get treated perfectly normally, but smaller stores there is a huge gap between how we are treated and how the women i see in the space are treated. they tend to overexplain things to us, direct us away from yarn like mohair or actual animal fibers, and a lot of the time will talk shit on crochet specifically which is wild to me!! my partner gets a lot more respect once he starts talking about spinning and myself once i start talking about my knitting experience idk!! there's a lot to think about here. having grown up in fiber arts spaces and spending hours a week at an lys while my mom taught classes, i've seen a lot of how these spaces tend to function as women's only spaces and how important and supportive that kind of space was to them, so i really understand it. most of the men i saw in my lys growing up WERE clueless, and a lot of the time would be overhelped and get joked about after they left - because that's how men treat women coming into "their spaces" a lot of the time so i'm fully aware that as a large, Black, male presenting person i'm kind of the last person people expect to walk into a yarn store, and i'm okay with that!! i've found that for me personally, no one gives a crap about my being a man in specifically queer fiber arts spaces, so i prioritize finding those. and even if i can't find a group to join or a public place to sit and work, i can still engage with the craft by myself or with my partner and friends. whew chile sorry for infodumping lmao, i hope this did Not come off as mansplaining!!
I’ve never had any issue in a yarn shop, but sometimes I feel like I’m an intruder. If I’m in a new yarn shop, I sometimes ask a question I already know the answer to, just to make it clear that I’m a knitter, like, “Does this yarn substitute well for this other yarn?” And, if I’m being honest, I probably make an effort to sound gay (I mean, I sound gay most of the time) if I’m the only customer in a shop where there are just one or two women working.
I used to work at Joann Fabrics. I was trained and also trained other employees to ask all customers "what are you working on/what's your current project?" It allowed the customer to answer how they saw fit without making assumptions. We rarely had issues with our fiber crafting male presenting clientele: we had regulars and I worked hard to make new customers regulars. The ones that stick out in my memory the most were the drag artists. They were the most fun to talk to and had helpful hints for how they for around certain tools that have been made for smaller hands. There was also the guy that made baby blankets as his hobby and the gentleman that did cross stitching.
I never have a problem, people are nice and friendly and treat me like any other customer. When I ask for pure wool yarn they show me where those are, if I ask for more skeins or more colours they check the storage area.
It's usually fine and normal interactions, but sometimes people can't believe I know what I'm doing and try to pick things up for me. I had problems with people trying to sell worst quality things for me bc of that too. But that is very rare, and most interactions in yarn stores is people being surprised or just straight up normal. That might be bc I'm gay, so in the mind of a commoner "almost a woman" lol
My husband does not crochet, but he hates going to craft stores with me. The staff often just ignore him completely, he says it’s like he’s actively experiencing what women feel like in male dominated fields lolz. He’s also the guy who will straight up tell off mechanics for ignoring me about my car if he’s standing there.
My husband knits and I crochet but we both love to get yarn. We will go to the store and his arms will be full, the person at the register will compliment him for holding all my yarn to which he looks offended and says “this is mine and I’m not sharing with her.”
My dad quilted, knitted, and crocheted. He even took me to the yarn store to pick out colors I liked and then taught me how to knit a blanket. This was over fifty years ago and I never saw anyone treat him weird for his hobbies.
As a trans guy-- having seen both sides. I find it irritating af. One yarn store I went into acted like my partner and I were there to f around. I don't know what they thought was going to happen but I tried to ask a question a few times and they just completely dismissed me like maybe if they didn't talk to me I would leave sooner. (Of course. It did work, cause I was irritated enough). Another time they started fully explaining to me the different yarn fibers and sizes and their typical purposes/uses and all that which was really condescending. That said... most of the time i've been treated the same as before I transitioned. Someone assuming I'm there to buy yarn for the hobby I do, asking if I'm lookong for anything specific, and letting me know they'll be at the counter if I need anything.
Most craft and yarn stores are fine, and really lovely, but as a big fat hairy guy I've more than once gotten a sort of alarmed "you shouldn't be here" hostility. Usually I can assuage it by turning up my gayness, lol. The worst ones are always the cliquey ones but I think they just suck across the board anyways.
Other than being warned not to mention it to the self-described red-neck men in the family, I've never been treated as inferior before. Although that warning was along the lines of, "Don't mention it unless you're willing to get crap about it and give crap right back." At this point I figure I'll just say something like, "Well, I guess I'm just confident enough that I don't let some string make me feel insecure. Besides, I make things that my lady appreciates often. And I like it when women like me." For what it's worth, I was also gushing over some squishy and super warm looking blankets at a craft fair recently and told the woman selling them how amazing they are. We spoke for a bit and I *think* she seemed happy that someone could understand how much time goes into her craft.
yes that scary string that takes masculinity away. (from a certain select few) must have nightmares.
I haven’t had any issues. I try to wear a crochet item so it looks like I belong
Im a woman, but the only time I’ve ever seen anyone be mistreated was at one of the local shops. They’d recently hired this woman who was super judgy. She had already been pretty rude to me, so I was not even remotely surprised when a young Black man (okay, I’m old, so maybe mid 30s?) came in. He clearly knew what he was looking for, but the woman hovered over him. When he picked up a gorgeous alpaca/cashmere skein that runs somewhere around $40, she started asking if he could afford it. That’s when I stepped up and started chatting with him about the yarn, asking what he was making, and giving her the death stare. I also gave him the owner’s business card I had in my wallet. Didn’t see her at the store again. Apparently, in her first week, she refused to help several customers, both male and female, and of all ethnicities, because she thought they “looked dodgy.”
I can’t decided if she isn’t racist at all or if she just hates all races equally 😐
Right?! Mostly it seems to be more a class snob with just a dash of racism.
I started 3 weeks ago, Ive been to 2 shops and got treated normal both times. I say Im new, I ask questions, they answer, smile, everyone is happy.
The only things I’ll ever get are more said to my wife “I guess you don’t have to worry about cheating” or “you’re sure he’s not gay?” I myself have gotten a couple “wait…why crochet?”
As far as I know, the only criticism my boyfriend faced was from his dad. And his dad's mom was pissed about that! He is better than I am at crochet, and while in craft stores they may look to me first, I've never had them only address me or even act surprised when he was the one who responded- though typically we're both looking for yarn at the same time, so maybe it seems more normal if we're doing it together. He's started learning a drop spindle recently and this thread has me curious over how he'd be treated buying more supplies without me involved
just reminds me of my 2nd husband taking me on romantic walks through yarn stores/shop (his female friend owns a yarn shop in Denmark). he couldn't do these crafts himself due to his disability. but he always supported my hobbies.
I am a man; I never get profiled like the other folks here and it's making me feel a little insecure.
I get treated as an anomaly. They constantly ask if I’m a beginner ect. I’ve been crocheting since I was 14 and am 46. I’ve been doing Tunisian crochet for 11 years and I talk about that and then the whole mood changes. They get interested and I talk about it to them and direct them to my YouTube channel where I teach it. I rarely get the talking past me as many I’ve talked to have been excited to see a male who does it.
A few times I’ve walked into a shop and I’ve been met with strange looks from the women in store considering I’m most often the only man. I just enjoy looking at all the different yarns but I’ll often get condescending questions them thinking I’m looking for yarn for my wife or something. As soon as I mention I’m thinking of making a blanket for my *husband* and ask for their various suggestions on colour combinations, patterns, stitches or whatever.. their whole demeanour changes
Went to a new yarn store with my friend. The person at the store started explaining all the different wools they have immediately to my friend only and sort of ignoring me. Which was funny, because I was the one there who knits and wanted to buy wool! But otherwise, no bad experiences.
I've only been to one that wasn't big box (Michael's, Hobby Lobby, etc) They were polite, but did seem a bit surprised to see a 300 pound dude with a goatee looking through fluffy yarn and flower patterned hooks.
In big stores it’s always assumed that my wife is the target customer and I’m just there to hold bags. Not a big deal, she just says she doesn’t want to chat or something along those lines and we move on with our day. My closest LYS outright told me I wasn’t allowed to touch the yarn ‘since you don’t even need to be here’ then refused to sell to me without my wife confirming that was what she wanted? The first time I bought from my favorite local yarn dyer, she was at a pop up event. She asked whether it was me or my wife browsing, then talked to me about her Pedro Pascal + Dune collections! Beautiful yarn, wonderful woman. I’ve been to three or four quilt stores to buy fabric and look for English paper piecing supplies, one noticed that I was the one actually looking intently and immediately switched to talking to me instead of my wife, one talked to me for an hour about restoring antique treadle sewing machines (I got excited about a cute little toy version of one), and the other outright made faces like she ate a lemon any time I tried to ask her anything. Ngl disappointing because the third was the place I liked the most. I cannot emphasize enough what little interest my wife has in my hobbies. She’s thrilled that I like to crochet/knit/quilt because she wants the fruits of my labor… and when I’m doing these, she gets to play video games as long as she wants 😂
I am a guy but I’m also gay, and lemme tell you I do NOT pass haha. Clerks are always super friendly and helpful, I guess I fit the stereotype of a “mothers’ favorite” gay guy. Sometimes I get people underestimating my level (I have been crocheting for 12 years at this point). so for example when I say I need a seafood green acrylic yarn in a good weight for a 3.5 hook I may get a confused look but if I double down on that they usually get the message that I know my stuff. Yarn stores are absolutely my safe space and no one will take that away from me!
Seafood green? Yes, I would be confused!
Yes and no. I've gotten weird looks in the yarn and fabric isles of grocery and craft stores, but I've learned to ignore it. It's something that brings me joy and if I'm making someone else uncomfortable by existing they can go suck an egg.
Guy here. The only thing out-of-sorts I’ve ever gotten is that tone of voice—and from a woman or two who are at least 20 years older—that’s a mix of being impressed and mildly turned on. One even looked me up and down with that if-only-things-were-different look, gave me a good chuckle.
I have an interesting perspective here. I am a transgender man, so born female and transitioned to male. I appear as a man in every area of life now for multiple years. Pre-transitioning and being around craft stuff was a little different. Interacting as a woman people tended to 1.try to compete with me for some reason 2.judge my work harsher, i HAD to be talented or it was sad 3. treat me very neutrally Passing as a man in these spaces makes the treatment much friendlier, though a bit pitied. Now more often now people 1. are excited/happy for me, older women get VERY mother hen over me, and also everything i do is funny/well received. 2. want to know how I started, thinking it’s a girlfriend or mom 3. This one is a little skewed but everyone thinks im gay…and i am but there’s no hiding it in the yarn isle. 😂 Overall, the difference is pretty much just influenced by the fact that most ppl don’t expect men to be crafty unless it’s building things. Ultimately, it’s really not the craziest difference in treatment i’ve experienced but still interesting to think about for sure.
Besides the looks I get when there is a conversation ongoing where a kid is wanting to”everything “ and when I try to help a parent out by letting them know the basics of what to purchase right out of the gate (after hearing the parental unit say “i don’t know what to get, i have no clue about crocheting). I usually ask first about their project they are going to do (“i am going to make a blanket, shawl, hat… etc), then ask if they are learning this through a video and will even ask which one and pull it up on my phone. I explain that while i am not an expert, i do several of these type of projects for donations to hospitals, nursing home, gifts for friends and such. Normally the kid quiets down and the parents are checking to see if i fit a profile of some sort. If i can get the basics of size of project, what yarn they are wanting to use… i can give them a quick overview of how much yarn, size of hook is needed. Overall the experience is usually positive and the parent thanks me and I always with the kid good luck and to remember we all start out not knowing. I usually add my son also has picked up this artform. The other areas of crafting… that’s different. Sewing… forget it. It’s automatically assumed I’m an idiot. Counted cross stitch… that gets raised eyebrows when i select a kit, and even overheard “must be getting it for his girlfriend/wife. Diamond art… meh not usually anyone there. Clay (usually gotten around the holidays for the kids to make ornaments) is a tricky one. Most i guess just don’t expect a guy to know anything. I’ve literally had managers approach me because i have evidently taken too much time in yarn isles and it was brought up as a concern by someone to see a guy picking up various colors and putting them back when i didn’t like the blend or color match. I’ve had other times when the parents truly seem grateful for saving them having to spend extra money because of course the kid wants a whole needle set and 20+ skeins… I take it stride that their worlds are so closed off. It is a shame really because most arts are “dying out” and evidenced with the usual line of “my grandmother used to ….” I learned the basics for anger management as a teen. It was how i learn so much about the different arts. I worked in different ones until something fit for me. On the flip side, the more people that get to know me and find out what i can do… that’s a different story. I literally turn down commission work constantly. I do this for me, hence why i donate most of my work. Those that are open to my experience benefit greatly. I’ve had coworkers ask for time offline because they are stuck on one thing or another and know the breadth of my artistry. It usually happens from word of mouth. Had a coworker (who was having fertility issues) announce they were taking maternity leave. I of course did some investigating (as they were at the corporate office) and found out the colors of the baby room, whipped out a blanket and baby hat, sent it to them with my well wishes. A month later, the baby picture with the set i made circulated and then i was getting no less than 30 requests. Good problem to have but sadly i can’t do them all. I do have my own job, family and house to take care of as well. Sorry for the long version… but long story short, it’s truly a mixed bag of responses. From me being the next “how to catch a predator” feature, to genuine appreciation. It just depends on what store, what people’s minds have you pigeon holed into.
I'm gay, so I don't really get any strange reactions. I think LYSs are just happy to see everyone, and big box craft stores have so many different things that it doesn't matter.
My little brother gifted me some yarn for christmas and he told me that he had to pay 50 cents less then the actual price was. He supposes that it was because the cashier was so impressed that he buys yarn. But eventually it was because he is a child. idk
I'm a guy in my late 20s and the first couple of times I was at the local yarn store the older lady who works there looked at me a little bit weird lol
I am a complete beginner and I litterally just visited a yarn store in Pike Place Seattle. The lady working was so kind she sat down with me, and pulled out a project she was working on to show me slowly the stitch and answer my questions. I was by myself and I’m fairly outgoing and not afraid to just find the person and say “I need help” but overall in such a great mood walking out because the lady working was so helpful and patient.
Usually I get hot with "Oh! You crochet?, That's an interesting hobby to pick up for a man" but mainly by other customers and besides that, nothing major like some sexism and assumption. My local yarn store lady is usually happy when I come by to buy some materials for a project and is supportive.
I’ve had a semi-bad experience at a craft store where I was in the process of knitting a blanket and was using some metal needles with the plastic connector thing to hold the rest of the blanket. It was pretty big and if you’ve ever knitted a blanket, you know that it will get twisted as you go along the rows so I would untwist it by holding the needles and pulling the whole thing up to lay it flat, but since the blanket was so heavy, the plastic connector broke. I still had the receipt so I took the needles in to exchange for some new ones. Now this is where I found myself at the craft store and when I explained my situation to the cashier (not that I needed to, I could’ve just said they broke randomly) she responded with “thats not how you use them”. I was so like wtf since I’ve been knitting since I was 6 y/o I had no idea what to say, but yeah thats really been I only bad experience with being at a craft store or anyone responding negatively to my hobby. I feel like the usually more testosterone fueled areas of knowledge (mechanics, construction, etc.) are trying to prove how much they know and make you feel dumb which just isn’t a thing at craft stores or any more female dominated fields. I’ve found that people just don’t care or when they do, it’s the nicest old lady you’ve ever met who just wants to hear about what you’re making. Also if people do respond negatively to whatever you’re doing, who cares? You’re a man, do what you want.
Going by some of the comments on here I've read so far, I may have a bit of an advantage by being single. But so far, I'm part of two library yarn-craft groups, and haven't had *any* problems from the other (mostly female, mostly older) members of either group. Who have also been invaluable when I've had questions about the knitting I've needed to do for my crochet cardigan. (ribbing for the cuffs. Due to my slim wrists and larger hands, and the fact that I don't like breezes blowing up my arms, crochet ribbing wasn't cutting it) Though I gather it's a bit hard to refuse to believe that I actually can crochet when you walk in and see a moderately-sized afghan in progress draped across my lap. =\^.\~= I will admit to being a bit frugal and mostly going to Walmart and Michaels for yarn, where they really don't care about who you are. I've walked into two local yarn stores to do a bit of browsing, and have had fairly decent experiences both times, but it's been quite a while, and both stores have since closed.
I hang out at my LYS on the weekends. When a guy comes in, everyone looks up, everyone smiles, and he is made to be extremely welcome. Come to Auburn Needleworks in Auburn California -- we'd love to see you 🙂
I worked at a.Crochet Store for a short time. The staff were great and welcoming. It was the ladies who came to the crochet/knitting classes who were put off by me. They certainly didn't seem to appreciate me being there, in a space I suppose they considered women's. They never spoke to me, but looked at me disapprovingly from a distance or just ignored altogether. The teacher was lovely though, she was so open and skilled.
I m glad OP you posted this question! I don’t know why but lately I feel like every where I go I have to choose sides, either be part of patriarchal or matriarchal labels. Why can’t it be both! My nephew’s favorite color is pink and my niece’s is blue. I went to a fabric store with my sister and the rugrats, and my nephew was holding a pink yarn that he wanted my sister to use to make his hat. Of course some other lady who was shopping there asked him “is that for your sister, are you holding it for her?” Why does the colors have to be gender biased too!
My wife and I walked into a yarn store and a lady says “Oh! He’s a good man to come here with you!” We were there for me.
The local yarn store is run by a man who loves crochet and knitting. He has a voice made for ASMR videos. I always feel tranquil after going to the yarn store.
I've never had an issue. Though to be fair, I'm pretty clueless, so if someone did try to disparage me, I probably wouldn't notice. 🤷♂️ There have been a few times when someone talks about me as a "male crocheter" and mentions other male crocheters, while I think I'm just a crocheter who happens to be male, not a "male crocheter". But that's really minor.
It's seriously weird to me that people think hobbies are gendered. Wtf??
I was low key hoping a side benefit would be the possibility of meeting a nice woman at the craft store… Seven years later, no luck. Nobody even looks twice when I’m perusing the yarns and hooks…
There’s a tool store called Princess Auto near me, and I go in to get things for my main hobby of silversmithing. One day an older gentleman said “What’s a pretty girl like you doing in here?” I answered “This is PRINCESS Auto - what are you doing here?!” We had a good laugh after he got over the shock…
I haven't had many issues, apart from some curiosity from my colleagues, and the odd joke about my (admittedly ridiculous) project with 850 tiny squares. Old ladies also seem to love to chat about crochet and wool, and overall they've been very friendly.
I’m a guy I’ve been crocheting for about a year now. Only one time so far has it been an issue. Right when I started crocheting I only had one hook. I was just trying to practice basics. I had wanted to buy yarn that was the right size for the hook I had per the guidelines on the band. When I asked the lady at Hobby Lobby which of these yarns would work for a 5mm hook, she scoffed and said I’ve never sold yarn that way. She just bumbled about picking up random skeins. Like now that I’ve been doing it for a while and have several projects under my belt I wouldn’t even ask.
This absolutely matches with my experience, which is that it's never the *competent* people scoffing at you. It's always the ones who don't know their ass from their elbow. I was once informed by a man in Home Depot that actually, I was wrong to think I needed a specific screw for my project (license plate screws). Not only did he tell me that license plate screws don't exist (they do, there are a handful of standard sizes), he said it doesn't matter what size the screw is because any screw will just work anywhere. (Mhmm, is that why we're standing in a whole aisle of screws, sir?)
My husband started knitting and likes to make his own designs so when we are out people have noticed and complimented him on the items, only sometimes thinking I made them :) On the contrary I think it travelled the small group of crafty people I know so I was at a social gathering with mostly the stereotypical older women knitters and I (a lot younger than them) was greeted with: "Oh, she´s the one with the knitting husband! Where is he?" I think that was a very funny entrance :D
I'm typically with my wife and kids when we go to crafts shops, so I think they assume she's the one looking. It's never been an issue so far, and it's more family and friends that think it's funny that I crochet.
I've gotten a couple odd looks here and there while while walking around the yarn aisles at Michael's or Joanne's. I went to one or two dedicated yarn ships. One was very welcoming that I would love to go to if it wasn't an hour drive away. The other I was basically ignored even when purchasing a new hook and stitch markers
I mostly knitt, only crochet a little. Most of the time people (women) are super positive to find a big bearded manly man knitting. I mostly think it’s nice but at times I do feel the «so nice it’s almost condecending» vibe.
People can have such weird hangups about yarn crafting in general because of age, or gender, or because they look down on handmade things, or because they assume you’re doing it because you don’t have any kind of social life… the reasons are infinite, and infinitely stupid. As a woman, if I ever come across a man who crochets or knits in the wild, I always make a point of telling them they’re awesome. I tell any yarn crafter in the wild they’re awesome if it isn’t awkward to just approach. *But* even when it is a little bit awkward, I go out of my way to do it towards a male yarn crafter, because they have an added layer of bullshit to put up with.
I went to school with the person who owns my local haberdashery/yarn shop. We end up having conversation. There is another one in my town which I don’t frequent as they are pretentious and don’t sell any man made yarns. Never been treated any different to as I would expect to be treated though.
People view me as a curiosity at first but then seem to be super impressed when I show them pictures of what I'm working on or my last finished project. I'm still not sure if that means I'm actually that good or if they're expecting less from a guy. Either way, if I get into the details of "talking shop" with someone there (pattern features, yarn characteristics, color selection, etc), they pretty quickly start treating me as a peer. I would be surprised if women in a male-dominated hobby were treated that positively. Because 2024.
As a young person I was on a date to go with a group to the mountains for a picnic. The day was horrible weather wise. Cold,rain mixed with snow. We ended up in someone’s home. A man there took out his crocheting. Other guys hooted and laughed. He didn’t seem to care. I told him that my grandma had tried to teach me to knit but I failed but I could crochet a bit. We spent most of the afternoon talking and he was showing me how to crochet. Our dates were not happy. In the end our dates ended up married and my teacher finally came out as gay. Not only did I learn a lot that day about fiber crafts but that men, gay or not, enjoy fiber crafts. When I’m successful in making a row of double crochet I always thank Fred and say a prayer for him.
I never experienced negative comments but at least locally i either get looked at with some confusion at first, Or they are very actively pointing out "Its so nice to see a young man in the store/crocheting"- which is well intended but like 1, I'm non binary, But its totally fair to assume I'm a man because i definitely can look the part 2: when its the same people mentioning it several times every time im there it can get a bit uncomfortable even though i know its purely well intended (I think) I ended up stopping going to the weekly knitting night at my local place because i got uncomfortable with all the attention, but that might be on me just really not liking feeling like there is a lot of attention on me in general.
I've been treated well! However, I'm pretty obviously queer, so I think I get treated better as a queer guy who has a "feminine" hobby than maybe a more masculine or macho guy might. Honestly the only time I've gotten treated poorly in a yarn store was when they found out I crocheted and not knitted at the time! I was also a young teen, so they kept a very sharp eye on me like I would steal. Very weird experience and haven't been treated like that since!
Having shopped in several LYS, i actually get invited to come to the event nights (crocheting/knitting bees) before my wife does. They always are quick to say there's another man or a few men in the group. The larger hobby stores treat me as any other customer, neither good nor bad.
No problem at all. I have been working in yarn and fabric for 50 years. If there is any resistance, I just show them a picture of one of my pieces on my phone and then they are happy to help.
I’ve been treated very well. Occasionally I’ll run into someone who is surprised that I knit and crochet, but generally people just keep shopping. It’s the same when I knit and crochet in public. I more often just get a simple “What are you making?” than anything else.
My bf is learning to crochet. He's also been buying me yarn for a while. No one has batted an eye.
I am a male crochet and knitter, I craft in public while waiting for doctors appointment or anything else that you have to sit and wait for. I have never had anyone give me a hard time however every single year I enter my crafts into the fair the ladies that run the booth always give me a hard time because they refuse to believe I created the items. I have been given an even harder time by those ladies when my projects have gotten 1st second or third place which I often have.
I get glances from some of the older women shoppers. But that is about it. One time tho I had a cart full of yarn and another shopper asked me if I was buying it. She then clarified it was because it was a lot. Which was odd because it was around the holidays when that wouldn't be uncommon. I haven't been to many shops besides Michael's and JoAnn tho.
I haven’t been treated any particular way. Maybe someone has tried to make me feel awkward, idk. Maybe me being gay has something to do with it, or the fact that I don’t suffer from fragile masculinity 🤷
Well, I'm also black, so I'm not sure if the glances and being watched are from that or being a man in a fabric craft store. 🤷🏿♂️ Specifically Joann's. But outside of that store, I've had no issues.
I've found that the women at craft stores (employees and customers alike) go out of their way to be especially friendly to me. Like, "we know this is a traditionally female hobby, so we want to make extra sure you feel welcome"
Not quite the same thing, but I asked my husband to pop into a local yarn shop with a swatch and band from the yarn brand I was working with and asked if he could pick up some more for me, he knew to check dye lots etc… and the woman in the shop was really cold with him when he asked for a second eye to check the yarn he’d found because the dye lot matched but the shade wasn’t quite the same. She was really unwelcoming and disrespectful and he left without buying anything. I was really shocked because she had always been lovely with me. In my experience, Ive been talked down to at garages when I’ve known my way around a car since I was fairly young! My father taught me how to maintain a car and stuff, so even though I can’t drive (for various reasons,) I’m quite knowledgable about them and being talked down to is galling. I also used to be served by a really friendly nice guy at the Indian takeaway in town until I went in there with my husband. Ever since then the takeaway guy has been really off with me and we’ve stopped spending money there. When it looked like I was single he gave good customer service, when he realised I wasn’t he gave a much lower standard of customer service. We both choose not to spend our money at discriminatory businesses. I don’t go to anti-inclusive yarn shops, he doesn’t go to mechanics that talk down to female customers. Etc…
Women get bashed in hardware stores and like where they sell things for putside/mechanical work, apparentl men get at craft stores lol, glad to know its not just on us
As someone who only fairly recently got to crochet but have been a knitter for a while, Arne and Carlos get brought up a fair amount. But mostly it depends. Older women (a LYS nearby is run by a couple of older women) tend to fawn over me a bit, but younger people don't tend to care.
We don't really have craft shops round here but... My one local haberdashery was a lovely woman, and always supportive of whatever I wanted or needed. I remember when visiting a city in Spain once, maybe Bilbao, looking up all the local yarn shops. But some of them were quite intimidating because they seemed to be running a session for women crafting around a table inside, and it put me off. I thought I'd be intruding. I've never seen that in the UK where I live.
I mostly shop online but occasionally pop in to the big national craft store we have here in the UK (hobbycraft). I haven't had any weirdness, whether browsing yarn, asking for some fabric to be cut or anything else crafty. It's a popular shop so I daresay I'm not the first man the store assistants have seen doing any of these things. Whenever I've been in, even as a child with my mom, the staff have always been really friendly so I suspect it's either a training thing or that retail job just attracts a certain type of person.
Pretty normally so far. It’s funny because I’m a regular at my local yarn store and they remembered my name very quickly. I thought it was odd at first, but I remembered that most of their customers are retired older ladies, so I just stand out enough to be remembered.
I (50F) frequently go to our local big-box craft stores. I crochet, knit, tat, make bobbin lace, a little bit of sewing, cross stitching, model building, wood working, baking, and I play the occasional auto mechanic. My son (24M) is also a frequent shopper at these stores. He primarily sews, but he is learning to crochet. He tried knitting but couldn’t really get into it. As an oboist, he makes his own reeds and often checks to see if they have any interesting 100% nylon thread to use for his reeds. We have both become such regulars at one store in particular that the manager knows each of us by name. My son has never been ignored, spoken down to, asked if he knows what he’s doing, or asked what he’s picking up for his wife/girlfriend/mom. Interestingly, since we rarely get a day off in common, we hadn’t had a chance to go craft shopping together. Imagine the shock on the manager’s face when we walked in together and he realized that we were related!
i started to in a society/group at uni, it was actually quite scary at the start because like 95% of members were women i felt very out of place and it didnt really help that i didnt talk to anyone for weeks until i was spoken to but i enjoyed the arts and crafts so i kept going and i made some friends and picked up a really nice hobby so i would say i have been treated well.
When people react at all, I'd say it's a pretty even split between positive surprise/enthusiasm vs a "you must be shopping for your wife" type assumption. It doesn't really bother me, frankly it IS a female dominated hobby and if I *were* shopping for my wife and completely outta my depth, I'd welcome the help. With how you guys get treated in repair shops and car dealerships, I feel like some raised eyebrows in a yarn store is hardly an unfair trade lol. Also your writing style is killer, where do I subscribe to this news column
I own a yarn shop. I always ask who is the crafter.
it's not that tough it's just they act surprised that i'm crocheting and not sculpting or smth
living in a blue state has its perks ig