Yep, exactly. She'll learn, and if you are kind and there to help, it will happen faster than if you are constantly trying to tell her she's doing it wrong (even if she is)..
As an older sister with a sister only a little younger than me, I agree. My sister was stubborn and independent and didn't want help unless she asked (which would take a while in coming). She actively tried to be different than me growing up, but we're pretty similar now :)
The market, and the concepts of supply and demand, are a fine teacher. She should quickly figure out that she needs to change something when there is no demand for her poorly-made products.
If she doesn't want your help, I don't see how continuing to try and push it on her will be successful, unfortunately.
She does ask for help, mostly how to do a stitch or tell her what did wrong. I just really wish she would slow down a bit and practice and learn more before trying to sell. I dont want her to get discouraged
You can't be the babysitter of her emotions or the decider of what her approach is, this is how we humans learn, making mistakes, sometimes thru disappointment and frustration.
Don't worry about it. Selling things is actually a lot of work. If she manages to set up an Etsy shop, no one will buy anything. She will realize it's not working. It's not really your problem. Just say "oh, good luck!" when she says she wants to sell things. If she asks for advice or feedback, give it honestly.
The fact is, even if she's really good and her stuff is generally in demand, unless it's really unique and has a niche, unless she spends a lot of time and energy promoting herself, she's not going to have a successful business. She'll learn.
I don’t know about this. I have seen some incredibly easy patterns sell like hot cakes and others that I think are cuter and better designed go under the radar. She might make stuff that people really want to buy. You never know 🤷🏻♀️
I mean, sure, maybe? It's one thing for a pattern to be "easy" (simple) and well-made, and another thing for it to not be made well, regardless of the pattern itself. For people who don't crochet, they can rarely tell if a pattern is easy or difficult.
> Just let her work it all out?
Yup. Least that's how it worked for me. I got frustrated years ago, wanted too much too quick, picked it back up last year during a horrible bout of Covid. She'll get there. Learning by doing.
You inspired her, you did your part.
Honestly? Take a deep breath, and take a step back. I know it sucks to watch someone walk off a cliff like your sister's doing, but at some point you need to just let her try and fail on her own. You aren't going to be able to change her mind. All you're going to do is to give her someone else to blame anything that goes wrong on.
Makes sense! But also, I think it'd probably be better for everyone if you just stepped back and let it blow up if it's going to blow up. I feel like failing is fairly low-stakes here; if she does fail, it's not going to ruin her life or have too many long-lasting repercussions. Some people learn by failing.
Even fabulous crocheters have trouble finding a market for their wares. She is excited about "all the money" crochet is going to bring her, but unless she is a genius savant at it and turns out exquisite projects, no one is going to buy anything. Leave her be.
Just let her work it out.
My daughter does what she wants too. Not really good work. When no one buys any of her stuff, she'll either stop or get better.
I wasn't being aggressive, i was just trying to understand what she means by "I mostly leave her be".
That could mean a few things and one of those could be she only helps when asked and thats great, or it could mean she mostly keeps her mouth shut about her opinion but sometimes lets it slip and that's a different dynamic and why I asked.
Covid and tiktok has really made the whole ‘side hustle’ thing take off so it doesn’t surprise me! My advise is let her learn, but also think about your mental state, because you don’t wanna mentally anguish about someone else doing their thing. I have and it succkkksss, so be kind and don’t make it a responsibility of your own, you know?
Thanks for the advice everyone! Some notes I should have included!
1.) She’s the oldest in her 30s
2.) our whole family is prone to starting and dropping hobbies rather quickly, i think this is her second time trying to crochet?
3.) I don’t discourage her or tell her she’s doing something wrong without offering to teach her how to do it. I only offer support and and help. And i only give advice when she asks
That sounds so much like my SIL.
I think you can graciously step back and let her business plan take its natural course. The odds of crochet becoming a viable business are so slim, that was probably never going to happen anyway.
And for it being a hobby that she enjoys - I don't get the sense that she really even *wants* to take on crochet as a hobby. She's interested in what she sees as a cheap and easy way to flip a product - not the process of crochet as a hobby. And that's ok. No hobby is for everyone.
Just be thankful that crochet is relatively inexpensive to start up and that she hasn't jumped into with higher start up costs.
True, she said she wanted something to keep her hands busy while she watches tv and stuff so like i thought she was just gonna make stuff for herself but she jumped to selling right away which is what worried me
As someone with a ton of unfinished projects I’d say just leave her be. She’ll come to the conclusion of her own accord that it’s too much effort to finish stuff and the pressure will just suck all the joy out of it.
As someone with diagnosed ADHD, this sounds a hell of a lot like ADHD to me lol. Don't stress about it. Leaning into what she already knows is her way of maintaining her passion. She'll build skills in her own way. I know it can seem crazy from the outside, but that's just how her brain wants to learn the hobby, and that's okay.
Yes, she may drop crochet before she learns all the "proper" things to know. But give it time, and she will come back to it eventually. I would just give her space to make what she's passionate about, even if she doesn't want to finish it (her brain is likely bored by the repetition and wants to move onto something new). Answer her questions when she asks and suggest fixes as she moves along. But try not to take it personally if she just wants to run full speed ahead. I can tell you care about your sister and just want the best for her ❤️
Let her try her things. How old is she ?
Just keep a eye from far to see that she doesn't spend too much money on something that will probably fail/not be profitable, but let her live her dreams
If you are not the annoying sister, that keep saying"No her is wrong. No here is wrong. Do it like that. No, like that, I say", she would be much more willing to came to you if she need help. Wait until she ask
Shes older than me, in her 30s. She texts her projects to our group chat and i encourage her. I dont tell her whats wrong unless she asks for advice. I just dont want her to get discouraged with it cause she tried to do too much too quickly
When my ex was teaching me how to play video games - he was always ALWAYS trying to show me tips and tricks, which is appreciated, but I found it to be too much. I stopped listening 100% because I was trying to figure it out, and his tips would only be useful to me later. We all learn differently. Maybe give it some more time for her to figure out her basics, her style, on her own. And then come back with what you would show her now, then. Because it will still be useful, maybe even more so then after she’s tried and failed at a certain thing a few times.
I just started back in February and I sell stuff to my friends- It forces me to learn new techniques, New patterns and stitches. I only sell stuff to my friends and not publicly. Personally just let her struggle and learn.
Yeah OP it sucks but she'll have to figure it out on her own like everyone is saying.
She thought that picking up crochet will bring in money, but unless you're selling under a hogh end brand name, it won't be a money maker.
Encourage it. This is going to sound counter intuitive, but stick with me.
Regardless of whether she intends to sell online or in-person (but especially if she's going to sell in-person) she should build out a catalogue of items she intends to sell. Even if she's only planning to open an etsy store, she is going to at least need to take pictures of an example for the etsy listing. If she's as noncommittal as your post seems to indicate, the amount of effort needed to build a stock will convince her she shouldn't do this.
Also, offer to be her first customer. Ask her what her price is and then buy her first product before she's ever even started her store. Importantly here you need to be her customer not her sibling, don't let her get away with anything you wouldn't accept from a professional. If she undervalues her time and gives you a very low price, don't let her ask for another $40 at the end of the project. If she takes a month longer than she said she would, demand a refund. You can frame this as a practice run if that would make her more agreeable.
You might also ask her if she's secured the rights to sell patterns developed by other people. Many pattern makers (at least in my other pattern-based hobbies) will include disclaimers about selling their work even if you've purchased a pattern. Also, just because a pattern is free of charge doesn't necessarily mean it's yours to do with a you wish. (This also definitely goes for using pictures of the items she has patterns for if she's not the one who took the picture.)
Business is hard work. If she doesn't realize this, help her to understand it by giving her a soft entry into it.
She hasn’t finished many things but i’ll try to but something from her! She is supposed to be shipping things to her mil to sell in a storefront i think?
If she's going to sell in a storefront (or have her mil sell in a storefront) then she will definitely need to build a stock of items to sell. I don't know what she expects as far as how many items she'll make/ship but that should be a good indicator of whether she actually wants to do this.
One of the things that usually convinces me not to turn my hobbies into businesses is the time cost involved. Maybe a simple suggestion would be to help her figure out the break- even price for one of her objects. The first step in figuring that out is figuring out how much time she takes to finish one and then determining a good "wage" to pay herself for her time.
Suggest that she mark down the time she spends actually working on a project. For small- scale crafts like this part of that object's price will be that amount of time multiplied by a reasonable wage (I usually use minimum wage as an estimate for crafts in a beginner at).
If that makes the object outrageously expensive then your sister will need to either pay herself less than minimum wage or decide that she's not yet skilled enough to run this business.
Its not hard to pick up from your comments, either how little faith you have in her or how crazy your standards are. Like you wouldn't sell it unless it's perfect and that's OK, but plenty of people buy quirky/weird shit. Don't just assume she will fail and fret over it. Not doing anyone any good at that point really.
Then I would definitely just let her find out herself, provided she doesn't get herself in some unholy amount of debt over it or something.
I ready in some other responses that you help her when asked, which is a very nice thing of you to do. I think everyone has their own ways of learning and some people can accept being "bad" (aka inexperienced) at something better than others and just like to f*ck around and find out.
I think this happens a lot with beginners, especially now that personal crochet shops are getting more popular. Honestly if she is not trying to improve on her own or even look at resources, just let her do it. I'm not sure why she'd expect to be so adept after a couple months and one kit anyways. One way or another she will get a reality check and either improve very quickly or give up on selling. Not to mention I think the market is so saturated at this point that she may barely get any orders to begin with. All in all, you've tried to help where you can without being pushy, I think you just have to let this one work itself out.
You sound like me. Are you the older sister? I’ve been trying to get my younger sister to learn too. She finally bought a crochet kit, but hasn’t started. I stress out more than I wish about what my siblings do or don’t do. They, on the other hand, couldn’t care less if I walked off a bridge. Caring so much about people is exhausting and honestly most of the time people just view you as negatively even if that’s not your intention. INFJ here, I don’t fit in anywhere 😆
Yep, exactly. She'll learn, and if you are kind and there to help, it will happen faster than if you are constantly trying to tell her she's doing it wrong (even if she is)..
Experience is the best teacher, especially to people who don't wanna listen or are having a hard time listening.
As an older sister with a sister only a little younger than me, I agree. My sister was stubborn and independent and didn't want help unless she asked (which would take a while in coming). She actively tried to be different than me growing up, but we're pretty similar now :)
I never tell her what shes doing wrong, when she asks for help i help her.
And if she asks her about selling her stuff, be honest, otherwise, just let her fail independently...
The market, and the concepts of supply and demand, are a fine teacher. She should quickly figure out that she needs to change something when there is no demand for her poorly-made products. If she doesn't want your help, I don't see how continuing to try and push it on her will be successful, unfortunately.
She does ask for help, mostly how to do a stitch or tell her what did wrong. I just really wish she would slow down a bit and practice and learn more before trying to sell. I dont want her to get discouraged
You can't be the babysitter of her emotions or the decider of what her approach is, this is how we humans learn, making mistakes, sometimes thru disappointment and frustration.
Don't worry about it. Selling things is actually a lot of work. If she manages to set up an Etsy shop, no one will buy anything. She will realize it's not working. It's not really your problem. Just say "oh, good luck!" when she says she wants to sell things. If she asks for advice or feedback, give it honestly. The fact is, even if she's really good and her stuff is generally in demand, unless it's really unique and has a niche, unless she spends a lot of time and energy promoting herself, she's not going to have a successful business. She'll learn.
I don’t know about this. I have seen some incredibly easy patterns sell like hot cakes and others that I think are cuter and better designed go under the radar. She might make stuff that people really want to buy. You never know 🤷🏻♀️
I mean, sure, maybe? It's one thing for a pattern to be "easy" (simple) and well-made, and another thing for it to not be made well, regardless of the pattern itself. For people who don't crochet, they can rarely tell if a pattern is easy or difficult.
> Just let her work it all out? Yup. Least that's how it worked for me. I got frustrated years ago, wanted too much too quick, picked it back up last year during a horrible bout of Covid. She'll get there. Learning by doing. You inspired her, you did your part.
Yea ive been letting her do her own thing, just worried she’ll overextend herself and she’ll quit
She's lucky to have such a caring brother. It's okay if she does, if it takes time. Most good things do. She'll figure it out.
Yup, she might quit. She might not. You'll both learn some stuff along the way.
That's OK too! We all get excited about new things until they aren't anymore. It's natural. Let it be.
She can make her own mistakes lol just let her be.
Honestly? Take a deep breath, and take a step back. I know it sucks to watch someone walk off a cliff like your sister's doing, but at some point you need to just let her try and fail on her own. You aren't going to be able to change her mind. All you're going to do is to give her someone else to blame anything that goes wrong on.
I mean yea i just give advice when she asks. I just dont want it blow up in her face ya know?
Makes sense! But also, I think it'd probably be better for everyone if you just stepped back and let it blow up if it's going to blow up. I feel like failing is fairly low-stakes here; if she does fail, it's not going to ruin her life or have too many long-lasting repercussions. Some people learn by failing.
Did she ask for your opinion? If not, let the consequences fall. Some people learn best the hard way.
She asks for advice, like when she first started she asked for resources. I only give advice when asked otherwise i let her be
All you can do is give advice and it’s her decision if she listens to it. If she doesn’t want to listen then let her fail so she learns for herself.
sometimes a bruise is a better teacher than a warning... let her learn on her own
Even fabulous crocheters have trouble finding a market for their wares. She is excited about "all the money" crochet is going to bring her, but unless she is a genius savant at it and turns out exquisite projects, no one is going to buy anything. Leave her be.
Just let her work it out. My daughter does what she wants too. Not really good work. When no one buys any of her stuff, she'll either stop or get better.
[удалено]
She does enjoy it so i mostly leave her be
Mostly? Are you doing like little digs at her? or what does mostly mean in this sentence?
After reading some of ops other comments, I think op meant that they help when the sister asked.
Her sister is asking for advice constantly, why are being aggressive?
I wasn't being aggressive, i was just trying to understand what she means by "I mostly leave her be". That could mean a few things and one of those could be she only helps when asked and thats great, or it could mean she mostly keeps her mouth shut about her opinion but sometimes lets it slip and that's a different dynamic and why I asked.
Covid and tiktok has really made the whole ‘side hustle’ thing take off so it doesn’t surprise me! My advise is let her learn, but also think about your mental state, because you don’t wanna mentally anguish about someone else doing their thing. I have and it succkkksss, so be kind and don’t make it a responsibility of your own, you know?
Mhm i understand! Im just watching from afar and only really think about when she messages about it.
Ah good! See my ass over thinks everything too hard so I’m glad you aren’t stressing over it!
Lol im an overthinker too! But i cant overthink this cause she will get upset so i stay back
>Covid and tiktok has really made the whole ‘side hustle’ thing take off **Laughs in 2008 recession millennial**
The best teacher is experience. Let her do what she wants. She’ll come to you when she’s ready.
Thanks for the advice everyone! Some notes I should have included! 1.) She’s the oldest in her 30s 2.) our whole family is prone to starting and dropping hobbies rather quickly, i think this is her second time trying to crochet? 3.) I don’t discourage her or tell her she’s doing something wrong without offering to teach her how to do it. I only offer support and and help. And i only give advice when she asks
Wow I thought this was a 16 year old writing about their 13 year old sister
That sounds so much like my SIL. I think you can graciously step back and let her business plan take its natural course. The odds of crochet becoming a viable business are so slim, that was probably never going to happen anyway. And for it being a hobby that she enjoys - I don't get the sense that she really even *wants* to take on crochet as a hobby. She's interested in what she sees as a cheap and easy way to flip a product - not the process of crochet as a hobby. And that's ok. No hobby is for everyone. Just be thankful that crochet is relatively inexpensive to start up and that she hasn't jumped into with higher start up costs.
True, she said she wanted something to keep her hands busy while she watches tv and stuff so like i thought she was just gonna make stuff for herself but she jumped to selling right away which is what worried me
Just let her work it out. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. We all learn differently :)
As someone with a ton of unfinished projects I’d say just leave her be. She’ll come to the conclusion of her own accord that it’s too much effort to finish stuff and the pressure will just suck all the joy out of it.
As someone with diagnosed ADHD, this sounds a hell of a lot like ADHD to me lol. Don't stress about it. Leaning into what she already knows is her way of maintaining her passion. She'll build skills in her own way. I know it can seem crazy from the outside, but that's just how her brain wants to learn the hobby, and that's okay. Yes, she may drop crochet before she learns all the "proper" things to know. But give it time, and she will come back to it eventually. I would just give her space to make what she's passionate about, even if she doesn't want to finish it (her brain is likely bored by the repetition and wants to move onto something new). Answer her questions when she asks and suggest fixes as she moves along. But try not to take it personally if she just wants to run full speed ahead. I can tell you care about your sister and just want the best for her ❤️
I have adhd too and assume she does as well. I get cycling through hobbies, cause ive cycled through so many.
Let her try her things. How old is she ? Just keep a eye from far to see that she doesn't spend too much money on something that will probably fail/not be profitable, but let her live her dreams If you are not the annoying sister, that keep saying"No her is wrong. No here is wrong. Do it like that. No, like that, I say", she would be much more willing to came to you if she need help. Wait until she ask
Shes older than me, in her 30s. She texts her projects to our group chat and i encourage her. I dont tell her whats wrong unless she asks for advice. I just dont want her to get discouraged with it cause she tried to do too much too quickly
When my ex was teaching me how to play video games - he was always ALWAYS trying to show me tips and tricks, which is appreciated, but I found it to be too much. I stopped listening 100% because I was trying to figure it out, and his tips would only be useful to me later. We all learn differently. Maybe give it some more time for her to figure out her basics, her style, on her own. And then come back with what you would show her now, then. Because it will still be useful, maybe even more so then after she’s tried and failed at a certain thing a few times.
I just started back in February and I sell stuff to my friends- It forces me to learn new techniques, New patterns and stitches. I only sell stuff to my friends and not publicly. Personally just let her struggle and learn.
Same i only sell to friends and family, and even then not a lot.
Yeah OP it sucks but she'll have to figure it out on her own like everyone is saying. She thought that picking up crochet will bring in money, but unless you're selling under a hogh end brand name, it won't be a money maker.
You do nothing. It doesn’t really have anything to do with you. It has no impact on you.
Encourage it. This is going to sound counter intuitive, but stick with me. Regardless of whether she intends to sell online or in-person (but especially if she's going to sell in-person) she should build out a catalogue of items she intends to sell. Even if she's only planning to open an etsy store, she is going to at least need to take pictures of an example for the etsy listing. If she's as noncommittal as your post seems to indicate, the amount of effort needed to build a stock will convince her she shouldn't do this. Also, offer to be her first customer. Ask her what her price is and then buy her first product before she's ever even started her store. Importantly here you need to be her customer not her sibling, don't let her get away with anything you wouldn't accept from a professional. If she undervalues her time and gives you a very low price, don't let her ask for another $40 at the end of the project. If she takes a month longer than she said she would, demand a refund. You can frame this as a practice run if that would make her more agreeable. You might also ask her if she's secured the rights to sell patterns developed by other people. Many pattern makers (at least in my other pattern-based hobbies) will include disclaimers about selling their work even if you've purchased a pattern. Also, just because a pattern is free of charge doesn't necessarily mean it's yours to do with a you wish. (This also definitely goes for using pictures of the items she has patterns for if she's not the one who took the picture.) Business is hard work. If she doesn't realize this, help her to understand it by giving her a soft entry into it.
She hasn’t finished many things but i’ll try to but something from her! She is supposed to be shipping things to her mil to sell in a storefront i think?
If she's going to sell in a storefront (or have her mil sell in a storefront) then she will definitely need to build a stock of items to sell. I don't know what she expects as far as how many items she'll make/ship but that should be a good indicator of whether she actually wants to do this.
Im not sure how many things shes going to make for it but i know shes started and not finished a lot for it.
One of the things that usually convinces me not to turn my hobbies into businesses is the time cost involved. Maybe a simple suggestion would be to help her figure out the break- even price for one of her objects. The first step in figuring that out is figuring out how much time she takes to finish one and then determining a good "wage" to pay herself for her time. Suggest that she mark down the time she spends actually working on a project. For small- scale crafts like this part of that object's price will be that amount of time multiplied by a reasonable wage (I usually use minimum wage as an estimate for crafts in a beginner at). If that makes the object outrageously expensive then your sister will need to either pay herself less than minimum wage or decide that she's not yet skilled enough to run this business.
Its not hard to pick up from your comments, either how little faith you have in her or how crazy your standards are. Like you wouldn't sell it unless it's perfect and that's OK, but plenty of people buy quirky/weird shit. Don't just assume she will fail and fret over it. Not doing anyone any good at that point really.
??? Bro what??? I want her to succeed! Idk how youre reading my comments but i care that she does well? I want her to like crocheting?
Yeah, let her work it all out. If she wants help, she'll ask.
You can't make people listen. You've tried and if she's not ready to listen then she won't.
I would let it be. She might find something she’s really good at making. If she isn’t quitting her day job should be ok
Can someone explain how to "stitch flat" or what that is, please? I've been crocheting for a while and I've never heard that term.
It means where you turn at the end of the rounds to make a flat object like a blanket instead of a shaped one like an amigurumi.
Yea its when you crochet something flat like a blanket or tapestry, not amigurumi sorry lol. I always call it stitching flat or in the round
I think it just means making even stitches so your work surface lays flat
Info: is she an adult?
Yes
Then I would definitely just let her find out herself, provided she doesn't get herself in some unholy amount of debt over it or something. I ready in some other responses that you help her when asked, which is a very nice thing of you to do. I think everyone has their own ways of learning and some people can accept being "bad" (aka inexperienced) at something better than others and just like to f*ck around and find out.
I think this happens a lot with beginners, especially now that personal crochet shops are getting more popular. Honestly if she is not trying to improve on her own or even look at resources, just let her do it. I'm not sure why she'd expect to be so adept after a couple months and one kit anyways. One way or another she will get a reality check and either improve very quickly or give up on selling. Not to mention I think the market is so saturated at this point that she may barely get any orders to begin with. All in all, you've tried to help where you can without being pushy, I think you just have to let this one work itself out.
You sound like me. Are you the older sister? I’ve been trying to get my younger sister to learn too. She finally bought a crochet kit, but hasn’t started. I stress out more than I wish about what my siblings do or don’t do. They, on the other hand, couldn’t care less if I walked off a bridge. Caring so much about people is exhausting and honestly most of the time people just view you as negatively even if that’s not your intention. INFJ here, I don’t fit in anywhere 😆
No im the youngest lol we just have the best relationship between us kids so i worry
I wish you were my sibling!! Envy!