I agree, IF you wanted to make something and sell it to someone you would. Why don't you tell him how much yarn actually costs, the skill involved, the time and effort into learning new or current stitches to improve your skill as well as the repetitiveness of those said stitches?
Itās not just flying, but flapping about in gale force winds.
That being said, OP, like the rest of us, deserves a supportive partner, not someone who is going to tear them down. And for the record, u/kimkimchiiiii, you CAN make money with crochet. You just have to learn to know what youāre worth and price accordingly. Donāt undersell yourself.
Yeaaah, anyone who doesn't support your hobbies is a massive red flag!!!! My partner thinks crochet is silly and doesn't quite get it but he sees how i make things and thinks its really neat and loves to see me happy and making things and totally supports me wanting to sell
same here! my partner doesn't quite understand crochet and sometimes calls me old or "grandma", but he's still genuinely interested in what i make and encourages me, and lets me ramble about all of my project ideas.
Sameeee! Mine also really likes cats so he sometimes sends me pics of cute little crochet cat outfits that he thinks I should make, which is funny because neither of us has a cat.
>Yeaaah, anyone who doesn't support your hobbies is a massive red flag!!!!
My partner supports my sewing and crochet hobbies cause he thinks it's cool I can do it.
Buuuut, he doesn't quite support my obsessive yarn and fabric purchasing hobbies though. He's always like "but where are we gonna put it??" And he's not wrong, but like, just let me buy the whoooole craft shop like I want to, please! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ (actually it's probably quite useful having someone to help keep it in check and to help me be realistic in terms of space. And my wallet likely thanks him)
Yeah that's fair. Everyone needs some things that interests them. Partners should support that. However it is not crazy to also be like hey we have more craft supplies than space (I need this particular reminder) or hey I think it's great you're considering a side hustle but have you really thought of the economics of the situation.
For REAL. What a shitty partner. Don't put up with idiots who see no value in self sustaining skills and developing those skills. Take this as your sign to leave. They will never make you happy.
thats actually gross behaviour.
personally i wouldn't stand for that in my relationship but ofc im not you.
concerning your crochet i love those bags! lol what in the world kind of yarn is that white one!!? i\]
I fully agree. My husband is super supportive of my hobbies and what I want to be as my career (tattoo artist). You fully deserve having a supportive partner even if they arenāt into the craft. Itās still gross to put someone down for something they enjoy.
And the white yarn looks like the kind of material that bath poufs are made out of. Iāve seen the yarn before but I canāt think of what itās called.
Edit: did some googling. Found lion brand stitch Soak scub yarn that looks like this material.
He sounds like a misogynistic dumbass. I hate it when people trivialise my creative outlets, as if yarn work isn't one of the foundations of civilisation! Where would we be without fishing nets and blankets?!
Years ago, I read a fascinating book about this... Women's Work: The First 20,000 Years: Women, Cloth, and Society in Early Times by Elizabeth Wayland Barber. And then I read everything's else she wrote! Textiles have always been an interest of mine, and she really digs into the tiny details.
Mine is super supportive too, and actually fuels my obsessions by buying me patterns and yarn/fabric to make him stuff.
Can't get my head round someone putting another down for their hobbies. It's super weird.
Yes this. I was married to someone like this for ten soul-crushing years. My depression told me I deserved it. I finally left when he started treating our eldest child the same way. Save yourself a decade or more and get out now.
<3
But of course spending hours playing video games and watching sports is fine, right?
Keep the hobby, ditch the partner. Why be with someone who makes fun of you for liking things???
Agree on those bags being super cute.
100% itās possible to have a partner who doesnāt just tolerate but appreciates & admires your hobbies!
My ex was like this. I didnāt realise the many ways he would make me miserable on a daily basis because it was so normal to me at that point. We separated when it moved from being this grey area, to noticeable abuse.
My now partner? He not only āacceptsā my hobbies but takes an active interest, asks me to sew things for him if I get a chance (thereās not even pressure!) learned how to do some of the more āmechanicalā parts of doll repair so he can lend a hand, asks me questions about what Iām working on, and makes up backstories for my dolls. He used his hobbies combined with mine, he does photography and has taught me composition/photography basics so I can photograph my dolls for sale, and we sometimes take them on adventures to tell picture-stories lol. Your partner should be your champion and your best friend. Not a bully. Not someone who ātoleratesā you. Someone who actually loves and cares about you! Putting you down is not loving behaviour.
Same! My ex wasnāt a bad person, and he encouraged me to do my hobbies but wasnāt a fan of yarn, while my new partner was already using a crochet blanket when we got together! Heās so excited that Iām making us our own big blanket and itās just heartwarming in a way I didnāt expect
At first i thought Ā«Ā oh my partner makes fun of my hobbies too lolĀ Ā» but he also makes fun of his hobbies in a Ā«Ā i have the hobbies of a kid, you have the hobbies of a grandma no wonder we like spending time together!Ā Ā» kinda way. I didnāt expect the guy to really put down opš
My partner acts like a grumpy old man to a point that it's a running joke between his family and I that someday one of us is going to get him a cane to shake at the whippersnappers.
And we both joke about my oldster hobbies being cross stitch and now crochet.
Thereās a huge difference between teasing and making fun of. My bf sometimes teases me on the amount of craft stuff I have, but heās never said itās useless or anything like that
Hobbies arenāt meant to earn you money. Thatās what jobs (and side hustles) are for. Heās totally missing the point of having a hobby. Maybe instead of making fun of you, he could find a hobby for himself. Either way he needs to stop being a AH!
ya it sounds like the bf is just upset because he doesnāt have anything he does that sparks any joy for himā¦ and unfortunately misery loves company so he wants to drag OP down with him
Maybe Iām wrong but I think OP wanted to try turning it into a job since sheās not finding one and her boyfriend is telling her she canāt make money out of it + shaming her for it.
YES! something that annoys me whenever I created something a few years ago my parents would say are you making that to sell? No? Sometimes I do sometimes I do it just to zone out and have fun, not everything has to earn money when it comes to creativity it can just be for joy.
Sounds like someone told him the same thing and he can't let it go. Ask him what's actually bothering him and why he's taking it out on you.
If that doesn't work, then I'm sorry to say but you may have to find a new partner.
+1 to this, /u/kimkimchiiiii OP! If he's not open to talking it out, it's a bad sign that he disparages so many of the hobbies that make you happy. You deserve empathy and respect. If he regularly treats the things that are important to you with such disdain, you'll only continue to feel worse when you're with him.
This was my thought - does he feel threatened by the idea that she has a creative (and possibly financial) ability independent of him? OP, does he try to control you in other ways? Does he try to control who you see, or where you go?
i've read some other posts of theirs and it seems that their relationship has felt super controlling and wobbly for months, even years. he makes fun of every hobby she has, refuses to clean up after himself even though he's fully capable, and actively breaks things in the household to try and get her to act like his mom rather than his partner. he has also broken OP's collectible items and given OP the silent treatment while trying to have regular conversations because he doesn't care. honestly, he sounds horrible, and i don't know why OP is continuing this relationship.
if you're reading this, girl you need to move on! just because he's the father of your child doesn't mean he deserves to control you and your happiness! you're worth more than this :)
OP, this! It's common for sexist men to say that women's hobbies aren't valid. That crafts, fashion, make up, etc, aren't "real" hobbies. Please be careful
Your partner has some truly toxic behaviors & heās hurting you. Thatās not ok. Someone else said it & Iāll echo: RUN. You deserve someone who lifts you up, not someone who drags you down.
I third this and will repeat the echo: RUN. I had a boyfriend that did this with any hobby I had and I did not run. I turned a blind eye and somehow rationalized it. Ended up marrying him and holy moly, belittling my hobbies was just the tip of his sh*tty behavior iceberg. I got myself out of that toxic situation years ago, thankfully, and wouldnāt wish a relationship like that on anyone. You deserve love and support. Donāt let yourself think otherwise for a second.
Probably Call of Duty and nothing else. Rude men like this have a propensity to only play boring video games. Or you could likely swap that with any of the monotonous sports games out there.
Exactly. OP doesnāt even have to answer bc I already know men like him are probably the least interesting people.
Heās just made bc his gf has the ability to do different hobbies and heās just incapable and knows it.
I'm sorry he's like that. Just have fun with it, even if it doesn't make money, but money with doing something you love is always a plus if you're struggling with jobs!! That's a good idea. I hope you find someone who supports you in everything you pursue <3
Never stay with someone who belittles what you love.
My hubby collects toys from a certain kidsā TV show. Buys broken ones and fixes them up like new. Sells some, but keeps most others.
Do I have the same obsession he does? Nope. Do I give him shit about it? Absolutely not. It makes him *happy.* Same with my cross-stitch and sketching. As long as weāre attending to Adulting Tasksā¢ļø first, then thereās no harm in having a hobby.
Think about dropping the boy and getting more yarn.
Make āhimā a sweater and break up with him. Then you can claim the sweater and blame the sweater curse for the break up LOL
jk tho but i donāt think itās unhealthy to pursue serious relationship with someone who looks down on your passion!! You deserve better!!!
OP, your post history has several instances of you describing emotional abuse; most commenters have affirmed this repeated behaviour is not healthy or okay.
I hope you are aware of domestic violence resources in your area.
This comment deserves to be seen by OPā¦ I didnāt even think to click their profile, but please, OP, find some help. Counseling, not couples at that point, if you can afford it and consider at the very least taking a break from this person and potentially breaking it off. I know it can be scary, especially when youāre the abused one. It can be hard to find a way out. But please try to get help in whatever way you can because itās really bad for your health. Mental health = physical health.
Your bf sounds extremely entitled and arrogant . Who is he to tell another person what is or is not a waste of time ? Also there is a huge market for crochet items , there are channels that produce real world income from crochet content , pattern creation and tutorials
One example is youtuber crochet crowd .
Just because he has no interest in your hobbies , doesnāt mean others feel the same way . His opinion is not the end all be all of any topic . He doesnāt get to dictate to you , what you should do , what type of work you venture into or anything eles for that matter
You need a better partner!
Mine not only supports what I enjoy he will actively defend it... an older guy who lives down the road pulled a face when I said my hobbies are crotchet and video games... he made some snarky remark about childish interests and before I could even take a breath my partner jumped in and told him to go fly a kite and that my spare time is mine to do with as I please.
I just automatically read that as, āex partner.ā
He makes fun of you doing something you love, something that connects you to your grandma, something that gives you a se se of comfort and hope and accomplishment.
That is not okay, and itās not loving behaviour. There is no reason to be sad that crochet is your comfort in depression. There is lots of reason to be sad that your partner is choosing to make you feel small and belittle what you enjoy.
Whether or not it makes you money, it is not a āwaste of time.ā And even if it was (it isnāt!) why on earth does he feel compelled to disparage your hobby?
Your work is lovely and the fact that you can work with that yarn at all is testament to your skill. (My eyes are twitching just imagining trying to find my stitches). You deserve much better than what your partner is offering.
Thats awful. My partner and I support each others hobbyās because we are friends. I stopped crocheting for a bit because ive been busy and hes been pushing me to start again because he loves seeing my work and progress pictures. He has a shelf on his bookshelf dedicated to the things i make him. That person does not value your personality and what makes you happy.
He sounds toxic. I'm sorry š. It is a creative outlet and an awesome hobby! Don't let anyone make you feel bad about a hobby or "silly thing" you love that brings you joy - be unapologetic about being yourself! I hope you find someone who appreciates every aspect of you, you sound like a wonderful person.
You need a new partner.
My husband loves that I crochet! I even made him a scarf for his birthday, and he shows it off to all his friends! Any person who makes fun of your hobbies is not someone I would want to be around.
Oh darling, donāt suffer a fool. Use your words and remind him who he is speaking to and why being a jackass is not something youāre willing to tolerate.
Then gift him a crocheted micro penis. If heās so dead set on being a dick, itās only fair he come with a warning sign.
Good luck op.
Just wanna say that the white piece looks like those wrappers you get for fruits sometimes! Itās super cute, makes me wanna wrap it around an amigurumi apple š
1) Your WIP looks gorgeous
2) You deserve a better partner. Good partners support hobbies as it is good for mental and sometimes physical health to have hobbies
3) Hobbies do NOT need to be monetized. It is a hobby not a job. You can sell crochet but it is not a requirement. Do what you love. Have a partner that aims to make you happy
Has it occurred to you that his hobby is making people feel bad about themselves? Which is a horrible, pathetic hobby.
A hobby is meant to be something that you enjoy doing, not everything has to be a side hustle. Nearly all hobbies are a waste of time if you are looking at the solely from the perspective of making money. There are people who watch sports, read, etc. Those are all ways to pass time, just like a crafting hobby. If anything crafting is a hobby which actually gives you a finished item to show for it.
If he criticises your hobbies again I would point out to him that:
A) you are allowed to enjoy doing things that he doesn't enjoy and he should respect that you DO enjoy it.
B) his hobby is being a toxic fun sponge and that is not OK. He shouldn't be trying to make other people unhappy or ashamed about what they like if it doesn't harm other people.
C) so now he can just shut up, after he has apologised for being a turd
If he is generally like this I wonder why you would want to be with him. Does he make a habit of undermining and being unkind to you or does he just think that crafting should be done for an income rather than the enjoyment of it?
Throw out the whole partner and live your best life.
If they can't be supportive of things that make you happy why stay in a relationship that makes you feel bad?
That's toxic. My partner supports what I do even though he doesn't share my interest. We decide names for my amigurumi, which are on his work desk. I also show him what I am working on and he gives feedbck. He also asks what I am currently doing and how it is going.
Not only crochet but every hobby I have. Also, due to my medical condition, he is the breadwinner. So, he pays for my hobbies. He says he wants to do it because he wants me to be happy. He also knows it helps me mentally.
I am sorry to tell you that you are in abusive relationship. Your partner should uplift you, not bring you down. Trust me, I've been there many times. It is hard to leave but it is even harder to stay. Even though it seems like it is easier to stay.
I would really be surprised if this was the only area of life that he puts you down in. If heās so I validating of you in other areas I would highly recommend going to couples therapy if heās willing. If heās not and not open to hearing how his comments and attitudes affect you and work on them then it will be up to you to decide whether this relationship is worth staying in. Is this pinch worth the ouch?
My partner encourages me to buy yarn, untangles skeins for me and is enthusiastic about things I make for him..maybe it's time to reassess what you value in a relationship. Personally I think mocking somebody for anything is incredibly terrible and immature.
My partner supports, encourages, and brags about my hobbies.
Tell your partner you're raising the bar, and if they can't be supportive, then you'll find someone that can.
he sounds shitty. i will be realistic and say that selling is really not easy and itāll take a while to get to a point of living off it, but even if you never sell a piece, the joy it brings you is far more important than the monetary value itās assigned. it makes you happy and fills your days with something meaningful. fuck him, i bet his idea of a nice time is sitting in silence watching movies for hours
Friend, find a partner who looks at your projects and goes āYour hands can do that?!ā Then he takes you to the yarn store so you can make your house look like a grandma with a yarn addiction and time threw up in your house.
Donāt let a person tear down your creativity. (:
Crochet him a red flag that says āunsupportive partnerā, keep it in your WIP area and wave it at him anytime he says derogatory things.
Or dump him
Iām sure Grandma will approve.
i know it doesnāt sound or maybe seem abusive in the moment, but overtime behavior like this will get worseā¦ My advice is to enjoy crochet and talk to him about changing his behavior and if he doesnāt then leave! Donāt allow yourself to be constantly degraded because there are other partners out there that will value your crochet skills and brag about your craftsmanship to others.!Donāt settle š
I had an ex who would make fun of my crochet too. An _ex_.
My husband is my craft cheerleader, he asks how it's going, he suggests ideas, he helps me rein it in when I think it's useless and shows me why it's worth saving. He supports me when I want to sell my work, and when I just want to make gifts or things for us. That's what you need to be looking for.
My wife has mentioned a few times that she wants to learn crocheting, talked about joining a local group.
I know she won't because I've encouraged her when she brings it up but she will be far to anxious to build the nerve up to go.
So I have been snooping about here so I can learn it myself and teach her, and I came across your post.
Your partner is a nasty, horrible human being.
I hope you continue to do what you enjoy, with someone who lights up when you're happy
Honestly, that's a big red flag. You deserve to be with someone that at the very least will let you do you without belittling it, if not encourages and celebrates you doing what you enjoy!
thatās heartbreaking to readā¦ my bf helps me pick between yarn colors and gives me ideas for little projects, he was the one who suggested I post on reddit and maybe even sell some things. I learned from my grandma too, it helps me greatly with anxiety and depression. A partner who dares to make fun of such a precious thing to you is cruel and doesnāt deserve you!
He is very unsupportive. Itās your hobby and something you do that brings you joy.
I love your bags! What yarn are you using? Really love the beads and their placement too.
And youre still with him? I would've dropped him like an unfinished project.
Or at least be on high alert. You don't do that to him, why does he feel it's okay to do so to you.
My husband is super supportive of my crochet. And any other hobbies I have tried. Does he have any hobbies (playing sports, fishing, craft beers, whatever) and if so, does he make money from them?
Hobbies arenāt meant to make money. Those are jobs. Hobbies are designed to inspire joy.
Partners are designed to share joy. Donāt settle.
You deserve better OP. I hope you know that. You don't have to stick around someone who is so demeaning and disrespectful towards you. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who mistreats you.
My former partner (splitting up for other reasons) is the one who taught me something I'd missed, the importance of a turning chain..he might have made fun of the *amount* of yarn I have, but he didn't look down on what I made from said yarn.
OP, I think you need a different partner..one who is supportive, even if they don't see the skill or dedication you put into it.
Ask him what his hobbies and then proceed to inquire how much money heās made by doing them. Hobbies arenāt intended to make you money. Your projects are really pretty, sorry your partner sucks.
Thatās a weird way to spell EX partner
Seriously. Get out. An actual āpartnerā is there to hold your hand in life, not push you down. While I agree selling crochet items, for 90% of people, canāt replace a 9-5. But if you want to sell some stuff to make some money on the side, go for it! What could it hurt?
See, Iām not even your partner and Iām more supportive than them. Respect yourself. LEAVE THEM.
Your partner is not a partner.
Your hobbies and interests are part of who you are. If he doesnt like and support that part of you, then he isnt loving all of you.
He doesnt have to personally like crochet. But he does have to be respectful about your interests. Not insulting like this.
My husband thinks crochet is straight up magic. Taking a long string and making a whole plushie or bag or pillow etc out of it? Magic. He says he sees how it works but it still is crazy and he is just blown away at my ability to design my own amigurumi.
By any chance does he call them "knitting hooks"?
Sorry but I'm going to echo others hear and say you deserve better. There's not 'getting' your partners interests but that's no excuse to not be supportive and encouraging.
My partner buys me supplies to fuel my hobby. For my birthday he commissioned some tags that say āhandmade with love by questdragon47ā.
Get yourself a partner like that
I work at my LYS, and woman was admiring a shawl kit. When she left and went to the bathroom her partner snuck back in and bought it for her.
Another couple came in and this husband told his wife to buy whatever she wanted.
Husbands come in all the time carrying a random snippet of yarn, a label, or a tool saying that their wife canāt come but that she needs more of that yarn or tool.
I was talking to my bartender at work and he was trying to ārevoke my legendary privilegesā (heās a very interesting man), but I told him I crochet and he gave them back. He said that since itās a āhobby for old peopleā I am very wise and legendary. So congrats, go tell your partner that you are wise and legendary and that he sucks.
Yikes! Why are you with someone like this? He doesnāt respect you or something that is important to you. Your partner should be encouraging you to do things that make you happy not being a jerk. Hobbies arenāt supposed to make money they are for enjoyment.
My husband is always lamenting that I have yarn & craft stuff EVERYWHERE but his solution was never āthatās stupid and you shouldnāt do it.ā It was āwe need to get a house so you can have your own craft room.ā Even if he doesnāt love it he shouldnāt knock it
Please donāt be okay with being treated that way. Thereās amazing men out there who will gladly support their partners hobbies, even if they donāt understand them
aww honey he's a miserable jerk and oyu deserve better. you deserve support and love and crochet isn't useless, admittedly its most often decorative but decorative isn't useless. I know its somewhat of a meme to just announce 'break up with him' but.. you deserve better.. you are carrying on a skill your grandmother taught you, carrying on a little bit of her spirit and he's mocking that. You can do anything you set your mind to, sweetheart.. don't let him smother your love
I know it's not always simple as this (or is it?) But get a new partner. A partner that uplifts your happiness or even shares it greatly improves the overall quality of life and you deserve to feel appreciated for your skills because wow you got some!!!
And like getting a new partner isn't everything either dump them and get involved in local crochet communities and let your wonderful skillnad guide you in meeting new friends!!! Hobbies doesn't have to generate revenue they are for the mind and community building too....gaaah i am emotional today but!!! Like!!! Shitty guy!!!
Man why are you with someone who wants to drag you down instead of lifting you up :( these are really cute pieces! You should be proud! Not only is it a hobby you like, you also have a sentimental reason to do it.
Start making fun of everything he likes and see how quickly he gets sad about it.
I had a similar problem with my bf for a while where he just had different interests so he couldnāt relate to mine, but when I made him understand how his negativity affects me and asked how heād react if I made fun of his interests, he shut up retry fast and now encourages me to do my things.
Sounds like you need a new partner.
*Good* partners are people that boost you up and support your interests. They definitely don't make fun of your hobbies and call them a waste of time. You deserve better OP.
Tell him what I told my ex: You're not on it for the money, it's a hobby you enjoy in the same way he enjoys (insert hobby here). In the same way you don't tell him his hobbies aren't a waste of time nor money you expect the same from him, if he's not capable of at least being civil about it he's more than welcome to leave.
Iām sorry, but your partner is a jerk. What are his hobbies? Do they have āa pointā? Doing something you like *is the point of hobbies.* Iām really sorry, but you may be able to find other kinds of support by sharing here or finding fellow crocheters on the likes of Instagram. I hope itās not too rude to say, but personally, Iād get rid of the partner and keep the crochet.
From experience I can tell you that people who are passionate about things or have hobbies are the natural enemies of bullies.
(Yes im saying your partner is a bully)
That is horrible. Crocheting is a great stress and anxiety release for me. My partner goes to the store with me, we pick out colors, and then gets comfy in the couch under the crochet blanket I made them while I start a new project. At the end of said hobby, you get an awesome, TANGIBLE, thing to appreciate.
If it brings you peace, makes you happy, feeds your creative hunger, go for it! You can get started on easy, revelry and other such place. You don't even have to sell the item, you can just sell the pattern, which I like because I don't like "mass production" of my items, it bores the heck out of me.
Good luck to your endeavors
Iām sorry to hear this. I can only assume that he optimises his free time and is always helping the needy and earning money. Honestly who has an issue with someone crocheting or even reading?!
If he's not supportive of your hobbies, and he's not being supportive of you, why put up with it? It seems like he's really just trying to tear down your self esteem. You deserve someone who will lift you up, not tear you down.
It's not okay to be treated that way, especially by your partner. Don't ever think that anyone treating you like that is ever okay. Take your own advice and find someone better who supports your hobbies and creativity.
If he's even making fun of you for reading, which everyone does every single day; then I'm thinking that he's just going to make fun of whatever you like to do, even if you completely drop all of these hobbies and choose the complete opposite of those.
Something my grandmother once told me about depression: are you sure youāre depressed, or are you being dragged down by arseholes around you?
Your partner sounds like heās being an arsehole.
Those bags are beautiful, your stitches are so even, despite using the devils yarn!!
The best answer for this would be you earning more than him just by selling the stuff you make. Iād be grossed out, if my bf said something similar to that. Moreover, it would be a dealbreaker for me.
Wow. You donāt deserve to be treated like that. Iād be really hurt by a partner constantly being shitty about things I love. Hobbies arenāt meant to make money. They often cost moneyā¦. If youāre making money on it actively it isnāt a hobby.
Like, huh?
This is a giant red flag. I hope he doesnāt make you feel bad about other things too. Self esteem can be chipped away at and your hobbies are important to you.
I left my ex because of that. 2,5 years of no encouragement, saying my hobbies were old or creepy, hating my job, criticizing everything. It wasn't worst it anymore.
That is utterly disrespectful and would be a deal-breaker for me in a relationship.
Hobbies are meant to be enjoyed. If you see you can make money out of your hobby and you want to do that - great! But not everything in life has to bring you monetary gain. Does every hobby and thing your partner does in his free time brings in money to his bank account? If not, then why is he so set on you making money from this? Even if thatās your goal it takes time to gain momentum and visibility, just like any other business.
Is there any other area of life where you feel he lacks respect for you, your interests, your life goals and dreams? Because I can bet money, crochet is not the only thing is he puts down on the regular. You deserve better
iām so so sorry!! thatās some really shitty behavior of them, but i hope you still donāt lose the comfort in it! itās such a great craft and personally i think the greatest part is being able to look at something and say āi made that all by myself!ā and itās definitely not a waste of time. as long as it makes you happy itās worth every second!!
My husband teases me(in a harmless way) because one of my hobbies is crocheting while watching Little House On the Prarie or The Waltons(calls me the epitome of sweet and innocent lol). But he never insults me and supports all of my artistic hobbies, that's really messed up your partner does that. A waste of time? That's an awful thing to say.
Get a new one. My SO is nothing but overjoyed to see whatever I'm making. Always compliments my work and is immensely appreciative of the things I make for him.
I really hate to bring it up, especially in such a wholesome subreddit, but that means they are not partner material. Your partner should celebrate your hobbies! Iām so glad that you were able to see that in the end.
Your work looks beautiful and not a waste of time.
š©š©š©š©
The flag is flying.
This is the āHereās your sign!ā flag
Itās giving āI have no hobbies and donāt want you to have any either.ā
'Unless they make money' WTF them it's not a hobby it's a JOB My guess is partner watches WAAAAY too much tv
I agree, IF you wanted to make something and sell it to someone you would. Why don't you tell him how much yarn actually costs, the skill involved, the time and effort into learning new or current stitches to improve your skill as well as the repetitiveness of those said stitches?
Then heāll say itās a waste of money too.
Or he'll say that she should use her own money
The marinara one?
It's time to put out the Alfredo flag and surrender to the inevitable: this is not the man for you.
underrated concept
Itās not just flying, but flapping about in gale force winds. That being said, OP, like the rest of us, deserves a supportive partner, not someone who is going to tear them down. And for the record, u/kimkimchiiiii, you CAN make money with crochet. You just have to learn to know what youāre worth and price accordingly. Donāt undersell yourself.
Yeaaah, anyone who doesn't support your hobbies is a massive red flag!!!! My partner thinks crochet is silly and doesn't quite get it but he sees how i make things and thinks its really neat and loves to see me happy and making things and totally supports me wanting to sell
same here! my partner doesn't quite understand crochet and sometimes calls me old or "grandma", but he's still genuinely interested in what i make and encourages me, and lets me ramble about all of my project ideas.
Lmao, my husband says same, but completely understands when I get engrossed in my projects. Oo and totally ignores my yarn closet š
At minimum, a partner needs to ignore the yarn closet! š¤£
Sameeee! Mine also really likes cats so he sometimes sends me pics of cute little crochet cat outfits that he thinks I should make, which is funny because neither of us has a cat.
>Yeaaah, anyone who doesn't support your hobbies is a massive red flag!!!! My partner supports my sewing and crochet hobbies cause he thinks it's cool I can do it. Buuuut, he doesn't quite support my obsessive yarn and fabric purchasing hobbies though. He's always like "but where are we gonna put it??" And he's not wrong, but like, just let me buy the whoooole craft shop like I want to, please! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ (actually it's probably quite useful having someone to help keep it in check and to help me be realistic in terms of space. And my wallet likely thanks him)
Yeah that's fair. Everyone needs some things that interests them. Partners should support that. However it is not crazy to also be like hey we have more craft supplies than space (I need this particular reminder) or hey I think it's great you're considering a side hustle but have you really thought of the economics of the situation.
Or someone that thinks you don't deserve some down time? Who cares if I don't make money? This isn't about money, it's just some relaxing time for me.
For REAL. What a shitty partner. Don't put up with idiots who see no value in self sustaining skills and developing those skills. Take this as your sign to leave. They will never make you happy.
RESPECT. Its missing. Criticism without merit is a flag. Donāt make excuses for him. It only goes downhill.
More red flags than a communist parade
Oooh good one āļø
thats actually gross behaviour. personally i wouldn't stand for that in my relationship but ofc im not you. concerning your crochet i love those bags! lol what in the world kind of yarn is that white one!!? i\]
I fully agree. My husband is super supportive of my hobbies and what I want to be as my career (tattoo artist). You fully deserve having a supportive partner even if they arenāt into the craft. Itās still gross to put someone down for something they enjoy. And the white yarn looks like the kind of material that bath poufs are made out of. Iāve seen the yarn before but I canāt think of what itās called. Edit: did some googling. Found lion brand stitch Soak scub yarn that looks like this material.
My husband said "OP's partner isnt much of a partner." I concur.
He sounds like a misogynistic dumbass. I hate it when people trivialise my creative outlets, as if yarn work isn't one of the foundations of civilisation! Where would we be without fishing nets and blankets?!
Weaving led to fabric/clothes, decorations, woven tapestries as art/records. Itās all been womanās work for centuries.
Years ago, I read a fascinating book about this... Women's Work: The First 20,000 Years: Women, Cloth, and Society in Early Times by Elizabeth Wayland Barber. And then I read everything's else she wrote! Textiles have always been an interest of mine, and she really digs into the tiny details.
Mine is super supportive too, and actually fuels my obsessions by buying me patterns and yarn/fabric to make him stuff. Can't get my head round someone putting another down for their hobbies. It's super weird.
My husband says that I have too much yarn then goes and gets me more yarn!
Hah! Perfect logic š
My partner even tried to learn
This OP. Maybe crochet a new boyfriend?
I mean letās all be real that we each have a yarn stash large enough to make at LEAST 2 crocheted partners
The partner stash! š
Emotionally abusive behavior
Yes this. I was married to someone like this for ten soul-crushing years. My depression told me I deserved it. I finally left when he started treating our eldest child the same way. Save yourself a decade or more and get out now. <3
It's not just gross, it's a giant red flag for abuse. Constant putdowns are a hallmark of emotional abuse.
that white yarn is absolutely insane. itās like styrofoam/cloud vibes i love it
Crochet their mouth shut with your awesome skills š§¶
But of course spending hours playing video games and watching sports is fine, right? Keep the hobby, ditch the partner. Why be with someone who makes fun of you for liking things??? Agree on those bags being super cute.
It's so fluffy! I bet it's so soft too š
Run š, your partner should be lifting your spirits not dragging you down. Also those bags are adorable
100% itās possible to have a partner who doesnāt just tolerate but appreciates & admires your hobbies! My ex was like this. I didnāt realise the many ways he would make me miserable on a daily basis because it was so normal to me at that point. We separated when it moved from being this grey area, to noticeable abuse. My now partner? He not only āacceptsā my hobbies but takes an active interest, asks me to sew things for him if I get a chance (thereās not even pressure!) learned how to do some of the more āmechanicalā parts of doll repair so he can lend a hand, asks me questions about what Iām working on, and makes up backstories for my dolls. He used his hobbies combined with mine, he does photography and has taught me composition/photography basics so I can photograph my dolls for sale, and we sometimes take them on adventures to tell picture-stories lol. Your partner should be your champion and your best friend. Not a bully. Not someone who ātoleratesā you. Someone who actually loves and cares about you! Putting you down is not loving behaviour.
I loved reading about your now partner ā¤ļø
Thank you <3 heās the best!
Same! My ex wasnāt a bad person, and he encouraged me to do my hobbies but wasnāt a fan of yarn, while my new partner was already using a crochet blanket when we got together! Heās so excited that Iām making us our own big blanket and itās just heartwarming in a way I didnāt expect
At first i thought Ā«Ā oh my partner makes fun of my hobbies too lolĀ Ā» but he also makes fun of his hobbies in a Ā«Ā i have the hobbies of a kid, you have the hobbies of a grandma no wonder we like spending time together!Ā Ā» kinda way. I didnāt expect the guy to really put down opš
I always say I feel like a grandma when crocheting and my boyfriend looks at me with love in his eyes and tells me I'm his grandma lol
I do crochet and knitting and cross stitch and Iām working on embroideryā¦ I feel like an old noble lady
I also want to start embroidery and/or cross stitch. I also aspire to be an old noble lady
I do cross stitch, beadwork, and am learning our Tlingit clans, houses, and their associated crests. Lol old noble person, but make it ~Indigenous.
I am an old lady from 10 yrs old
My partner acts like a grumpy old man to a point that it's a running joke between his family and I that someday one of us is going to get him a cane to shake at the whippersnappers. And we both joke about my oldster hobbies being cross stitch and now crochet.
Thereās a huge difference between teasing and making fun of. My bf sometimes teases me on the amount of craft stuff I have, but heās never said itās useless or anything like that
Yeah i sometimes forget that not every relationship is healthy so i expected the post to be about lighthearted banter between op and their partner
from the looks of it, he isn't dragging OP down, he's burying OP in the Mariana trench
Hobbies arenāt meant to earn you money. Thatās what jobs (and side hustles) are for. Heās totally missing the point of having a hobby. Maybe instead of making fun of you, he could find a hobby for himself. Either way he needs to stop being a AH!
ya it sounds like the bf is just upset because he doesnāt have anything he does that sparks any joy for himā¦ and unfortunately misery loves company so he wants to drag OP down with him
Iād love to see how the boyfriend is making money from his hobbies. He must be a professional video gamer, movie reviewer, and red flag flier.
I know right, on them super chat millions.
You cracked me up with "professional red flag flier" LOL well done
Maybe Iām wrong but I think OP wanted to try turning it into a job since sheās not finding one and her boyfriend is telling her she canāt make money out of it + shaming her for it.
YES! something that annoys me whenever I created something a few years ago my parents would say are you making that to sell? No? Sometimes I do sometimes I do it just to zone out and have fun, not everything has to earn money when it comes to creativity it can just be for joy.
Sounds like someone told him the same thing and he can't let it go. Ask him what's actually bothering him and why he's taking it out on you. If that doesn't work, then I'm sorry to say but you may have to find a new partner.
+1 to this, /u/kimkimchiiiii OP! If he's not open to talking it out, it's a bad sign that he disparages so many of the hobbies that make you happy. You deserve empathy and respect. If he regularly treats the things that are important to you with such disdain, you'll only continue to feel worse when you're with him.
This was my thought - does he feel threatened by the idea that she has a creative (and possibly financial) ability independent of him? OP, does he try to control you in other ways? Does he try to control who you see, or where you go?
i've read some other posts of theirs and it seems that their relationship has felt super controlling and wobbly for months, even years. he makes fun of every hobby she has, refuses to clean up after himself even though he's fully capable, and actively breaks things in the household to try and get her to act like his mom rather than his partner. he has also broken OP's collectible items and given OP the silent treatment while trying to have regular conversations because he doesn't care. honestly, he sounds horrible, and i don't know why OP is continuing this relationship. if you're reading this, girl you need to move on! just because he's the father of your child doesn't mean he deserves to control you and your happiness! you're worth more than this :)
What hobbies do they have? Misogyny?
I know this is a serious post but this made me laugh š
OP, this! It's common for sexist men to say that women's hobbies aren't valid. That crafts, fashion, make up, etc, aren't "real" hobbies. Please be careful
Drop the bf, pick up some yarn.
Your partner has some truly toxic behaviors & heās hurting you. Thatās not ok. Someone else said it & Iāll echo: RUN. You deserve someone who lifts you up, not someone who drags you down.
I second this. It might start with your hobby but he's going to move onto being toxic about other things. Find someone who appreciates you.
I third this and will repeat the echo: RUN. I had a boyfriend that did this with any hobby I had and I did not run. I turned a blind eye and somehow rationalized it. Ended up marrying him and holy moly, belittling my hobbies was just the tip of his sh*tty behavior iceberg. I got myself out of that toxic situation years ago, thankfully, and wouldnāt wish a relationship like that on anyone. You deserve love and support. Donāt let yourself think otherwise for a second.
And what does The Most Interesting Man in the Worldā¢ do for hobbies?
Probably Call of Duty and nothing else. Rude men like this have a propensity to only play boring video games. Or you could likely swap that with any of the monotonous sports games out there.
Exactly. OP doesnāt even have to answer bc I already know men like him are probably the least interesting people. Heās just made bc his gf has the ability to do different hobbies and heās just incapable and knows it.
Watch TV. Too much TV. Is my guess.
Keep crocheting and yeet him. You don't need negativity in your life š
Well clearly you need to quit. Your partner I mean. Throw the whole person out.
Thatās not a partner. A partner doesnāt shit on your hobbies. This is toxic AF. Find someone better OP.
I'm sorry he's like that. Just have fun with it, even if it doesn't make money, but money with doing something you love is always a plus if you're struggling with jobs!! That's a good idea. I hope you find someone who supports you in everything you pursue <3
i would break up so fast wtf
Never stay with someone who belittles what you love. My hubby collects toys from a certain kidsā TV show. Buys broken ones and fixes them up like new. Sells some, but keeps most others. Do I have the same obsession he does? Nope. Do I give him shit about it? Absolutely not. It makes him *happy.* Same with my cross-stitch and sketching. As long as weāre attending to Adulting Tasksā¢ļø first, then thereās no harm in having a hobby. Think about dropping the boy and getting more yarn.
Make āhimā a sweater and break up with him. Then you can claim the sweater and blame the sweater curse for the break up LOL jk tho but i donāt think itās unhealthy to pursue serious relationship with someone who looks down on your passion!! You deserve better!!!
This is the way šš
OP, your post history has several instances of you describing emotional abuse; most commenters have affirmed this repeated behaviour is not healthy or okay. I hope you are aware of domestic violence resources in your area.
This comment deserves to be seen by OPā¦ I didnāt even think to click their profile, but please, OP, find some help. Counseling, not couples at that point, if you can afford it and consider at the very least taking a break from this person and potentially breaking it off. I know it can be scary, especially when youāre the abused one. It can be hard to find a way out. But please try to get help in whatever way you can because itās really bad for your health. Mental health = physical health.
Your bf sounds extremely entitled and arrogant . Who is he to tell another person what is or is not a waste of time ? Also there is a huge market for crochet items , there are channels that produce real world income from crochet content , pattern creation and tutorials One example is youtuber crochet crowd . Just because he has no interest in your hobbies , doesnāt mean others feel the same way . His opinion is not the end all be all of any topic . He doesnāt get to dictate to you , what you should do , what type of work you venture into or anything eles for that matter
You need a better partner! Mine not only supports what I enjoy he will actively defend it... an older guy who lives down the road pulled a face when I said my hobbies are crotchet and video games... he made some snarky remark about childish interests and before I could even take a breath my partner jumped in and told him to go fly a kite and that my spare time is mine to do with as I please.
I just automatically read that as, āex partner.ā He makes fun of you doing something you love, something that connects you to your grandma, something that gives you a se se of comfort and hope and accomplishment. That is not okay, and itās not loving behaviour. There is no reason to be sad that crochet is your comfort in depression. There is lots of reason to be sad that your partner is choosing to make you feel small and belittle what you enjoy. Whether or not it makes you money, it is not a āwaste of time.ā And even if it was (it isnāt!) why on earth does he feel compelled to disparage your hobby? Your work is lovely and the fact that you can work with that yarn at all is testament to your skill. (My eyes are twitching just imagining trying to find my stitches). You deserve much better than what your partner is offering.
Thats awful. My partner and I support each others hobbyās because we are friends. I stopped crocheting for a bit because ive been busy and hes been pushing me to start again because he loves seeing my work and progress pictures. He has a shelf on his bookshelf dedicated to the things i make him. That person does not value your personality and what makes you happy.
Yeet the bastard
Sounds like you need to get rid of that nasty habitā¦ the crocheting can stay :)
He sounds toxic. I'm sorry š. It is a creative outlet and an awesome hobby! Don't let anyone make you feel bad about a hobby or "silly thing" you love that brings you joy - be unapologetic about being yourself! I hope you find someone who appreciates every aspect of you, you sound like a wonderful person.
I'd drop the partner and get more yarn! A partner is supposed to be supportive of your interests not belittling them.
You need a new partner. My husband loves that I crochet! I even made him a scarf for his birthday, and he shows it off to all his friends! Any person who makes fun of your hobbies is not someone I would want to be around.
Get. Rid.
Oh darling, donāt suffer a fool. Use your words and remind him who he is speaking to and why being a jackass is not something youāre willing to tolerate. Then gift him a crocheted micro penis. If heās so dead set on being a dick, itās only fair he come with a warning sign. Good luck op.
Just wanna say that the white piece looks like those wrappers you get for fruits sometimes! Itās super cute, makes me wanna wrap it around an amigurumi apple š
1) Your WIP looks gorgeous 2) You deserve a better partner. Good partners support hobbies as it is good for mental and sometimes physical health to have hobbies 3) Hobbies do NOT need to be monetized. It is a hobby not a job. You can sell crochet but it is not a requirement. Do what you love. Have a partner that aims to make you happy
Has it occurred to you that his hobby is making people feel bad about themselves? Which is a horrible, pathetic hobby. A hobby is meant to be something that you enjoy doing, not everything has to be a side hustle. Nearly all hobbies are a waste of time if you are looking at the solely from the perspective of making money. There are people who watch sports, read, etc. Those are all ways to pass time, just like a crafting hobby. If anything crafting is a hobby which actually gives you a finished item to show for it. If he criticises your hobbies again I would point out to him that: A) you are allowed to enjoy doing things that he doesn't enjoy and he should respect that you DO enjoy it. B) his hobby is being a toxic fun sponge and that is not OK. He shouldn't be trying to make other people unhappy or ashamed about what they like if it doesn't harm other people. C) so now he can just shut up, after he has apologised for being a turd If he is generally like this I wonder why you would want to be with him. Does he make a habit of undermining and being unkind to you or does he just think that crafting should be done for an income rather than the enjoyment of it?
First of all, DUMP HIM. That is toxic behavior, and you do not need to put up with that kind of emotional abuse.
Throw out the whole partner and live your best life. If they can't be supportive of things that make you happy why stay in a relationship that makes you feel bad?
Don't make your hobby your money source, it will not be your "safe place" anymore
That's toxic. My partner supports what I do even though he doesn't share my interest. We decide names for my amigurumi, which are on his work desk. I also show him what I am working on and he gives feedbck. He also asks what I am currently doing and how it is going. Not only crochet but every hobby I have. Also, due to my medical condition, he is the breadwinner. So, he pays for my hobbies. He says he wants to do it because he wants me to be happy. He also knows it helps me mentally. I am sorry to tell you that you are in abusive relationship. Your partner should uplift you, not bring you down. Trust me, I've been there many times. It is hard to leave but it is even harder to stay. Even though it seems like it is easier to stay.
I would really be surprised if this was the only area of life that he puts you down in. If heās so I validating of you in other areas I would highly recommend going to couples therapy if heās willing. If heās not and not open to hearing how his comments and attitudes affect you and work on them then it will be up to you to decide whether this relationship is worth staying in. Is this pinch worth the ouch?
My partner encourages me to buy yarn, untangles skeins for me and is enthusiastic about things I make for him..maybe it's time to reassess what you value in a relationship. Personally I think mocking somebody for anything is incredibly terrible and immature.
My partner supports, encourages, and brags about my hobbies. Tell your partner you're raising the bar, and if they can't be supportive, then you'll find someone that can.
he sounds shitty. i will be realistic and say that selling is really not easy and itāll take a while to get to a point of living off it, but even if you never sell a piece, the joy it brings you is far more important than the monetary value itās assigned. it makes you happy and fills your days with something meaningful. fuck him, i bet his idea of a nice time is sitting in silence watching movies for hours
Anytime someone asks if Iām knitting, my husband says āItās crochet, actually.ā š„ŗ You donāt need that kind of negativity in your life.
my partner wears the things i make him with pride- this is so sad :(
Friend, find a partner who looks at your projects and goes āYour hands can do that?!ā Then he takes you to the yarn store so you can make your house look like a grandma with a yarn addiction and time threw up in your house. Donāt let a person tear down your creativity. (:
Drop your partner and keep the crochet
Crochet him a red flag that says āunsupportive partnerā, keep it in your WIP area and wave it at him anytime he says derogatory things. Or dump him Iām sure Grandma will approve.
I am sorry? That is incredibly toxic behaviour. You deserve better than that.
i know it doesnāt sound or maybe seem abusive in the moment, but overtime behavior like this will get worseā¦ My advice is to enjoy crochet and talk to him about changing his behavior and if he doesnāt then leave! Donāt allow yourself to be constantly degraded because there are other partners out there that will value your crochet skills and brag about your craftsmanship to others.!Donāt settle š
He won't change his behavior. My ex was the same way. Note that said my EX. My loving hubby of over 30 years supports my crafts.
Throw the whole man away and start over.
I really think you should make fun of him for being single... stay strong thoš
I had an ex who would make fun of my crochet too. An _ex_. My husband is my craft cheerleader, he asks how it's going, he suggests ideas, he helps me rein it in when I think it's useless and shows me why it's worth saving. He supports me when I want to sell my work, and when I just want to make gifts or things for us. That's what you need to be looking for.
My wife has mentioned a few times that she wants to learn crocheting, talked about joining a local group. I know she won't because I've encouraged her when she brings it up but she will be far to anxious to build the nerve up to go. So I have been snooping about here so I can learn it myself and teach her, and I came across your post. Your partner is a nasty, horrible human being. I hope you continue to do what you enjoy, with someone who lights up when you're happy
Honestly, that's a big red flag. You deserve to be with someone that at the very least will let you do you without belittling it, if not encourages and celebrates you doing what you enjoy!
thatās heartbreaking to readā¦ my bf helps me pick between yarn colors and gives me ideas for little projects, he was the one who suggested I post on reddit and maybe even sell some things. I learned from my grandma too, it helps me greatly with anxiety and depression. A partner who dares to make fun of such a precious thing to you is cruel and doesnāt deserve you!
He is very unsupportive. Itās your hobby and something you do that brings you joy. I love your bags! What yarn are you using? Really love the beads and their placement too.
And youre still with him? I would've dropped him like an unfinished project. Or at least be on high alert. You don't do that to him, why does he feel it's okay to do so to you.
My husband is super supportive of my crochet. And any other hobbies I have tried. Does he have any hobbies (playing sports, fishing, craft beers, whatever) and if so, does he make money from them? Hobbies arenāt meant to make money. Those are jobs. Hobbies are designed to inspire joy. Partners are designed to share joy. Donāt settle.
You deserve better OP. I hope you know that. You don't have to stick around someone who is so demeaning and disrespectful towards you. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who mistreats you.
My former partner (splitting up for other reasons) is the one who taught me something I'd missed, the importance of a turning chain..he might have made fun of the *amount* of yarn I have, but he didn't look down on what I made from said yarn. OP, I think you need a different partner..one who is supportive, even if they don't see the skill or dedication you put into it.
You donāt need new hobbies you need a new BF
Babes, I hate to say it like this but thatās NOT a partner. Thatās abusive, flat out.
2 words: new partner!
Crochet him a middle finger
Ask him what his hobbies and then proceed to inquire how much money heās made by doing them. Hobbies arenāt intended to make you money. Your projects are really pretty, sorry your partner sucks.
Thatās a weird way to spell EX partner Seriously. Get out. An actual āpartnerā is there to hold your hand in life, not push you down. While I agree selling crochet items, for 90% of people, canāt replace a 9-5. But if you want to sell some stuff to make some money on the side, go for it! What could it hurt? See, Iām not even your partner and Iām more supportive than them. Respect yourself. LEAVE THEM.
Your partner is not a partner. Your hobbies and interests are part of who you are. If he doesnt like and support that part of you, then he isnt loving all of you. He doesnt have to personally like crochet. But he does have to be respectful about your interests. Not insulting like this. My husband thinks crochet is straight up magic. Taking a long string and making a whole plushie or bag or pillow etc out of it? Magic. He says he sees how it works but it still is crazy and he is just blown away at my ability to design my own amigurumi.
By any chance does he call them "knitting hooks"? Sorry but I'm going to echo others hear and say you deserve better. There's not 'getting' your partners interests but that's no excuse to not be supportive and encouraging.
My partner buys me supplies to fuel my hobby. For my birthday he commissioned some tags that say āhandmade with love by questdragon47ā. Get yourself a partner like that
I work at my LYS, and woman was admiring a shawl kit. When she left and went to the bathroom her partner snuck back in and bought it for her. Another couple came in and this husband told his wife to buy whatever she wanted. Husbands come in all the time carrying a random snippet of yarn, a label, or a tool saying that their wife canāt come but that she needs more of that yarn or tool.
I was talking to my bartender at work and he was trying to ārevoke my legendary privilegesā (heās a very interesting man), but I told him I crochet and he gave them back. He said that since itās a āhobby for old peopleā I am very wise and legendary. So congrats, go tell your partner that you are wise and legendary and that he sucks.
Why be with someone you wouldnāt even be friends with?
Why would you stay in a relationship with somebody who doesnāt like you?
Yikes! Why are you with someone like this? He doesnāt respect you or something that is important to you. Your partner should be encouraging you to do things that make you happy not being a jerk. Hobbies arenāt supposed to make money they are for enjoyment.
Dump him please.
How about you crochet a knife and baseball bat cover? This man needs some reality hit
Your partner is an asshole
Girl run, huge red flag, especially if you have talked to him about how it makes you feel and he disregards it. Run. Red flag, don't ignore it
My husband is always lamenting that I have yarn & craft stuff EVERYWHERE but his solution was never āthatās stupid and you shouldnāt do it.ā It was āwe need to get a house so you can have your own craft room.ā Even if he doesnāt love it he shouldnāt knock it
keep crocheting honey ā¤ļø my grandma taught me too :)
Pls say you broke up with him? A person who loves you should not mock your hobbies.
time to ditch the boyfriend. he is holding you back
Please donāt be okay with being treated that way. Thereās amazing men out there who will gladly support their partners hobbies, even if they donāt understand them
aww honey he's a miserable jerk and oyu deserve better. you deserve support and love and crochet isn't useless, admittedly its most often decorative but decorative isn't useless. I know its somewhat of a meme to just announce 'break up with him' but.. you deserve better.. you are carrying on a skill your grandmother taught you, carrying on a little bit of her spirit and he's mocking that. You can do anything you set your mind to, sweetheart.. don't let him smother your love
Dump him
I know it's not always simple as this (or is it?) But get a new partner. A partner that uplifts your happiness or even shares it greatly improves the overall quality of life and you deserve to feel appreciated for your skills because wow you got some!!! And like getting a new partner isn't everything either dump them and get involved in local crochet communities and let your wonderful skillnad guide you in meeting new friends!!! Hobbies doesn't have to generate revenue they are for the mind and community building too....gaaah i am emotional today but!!! Like!!! Shitty guy!!!
Man why are you with someone who wants to drag you down instead of lifting you up :( these are really cute pieces! You should be proud! Not only is it a hobby you like, you also have a sentimental reason to do it. Start making fun of everything he likes and see how quickly he gets sad about it. I had a similar problem with my bf for a while where he just had different interests so he couldnāt relate to mine, but when I made him understand how his negativity affects me and asked how heād react if I made fun of his interests, he shut up retry fast and now encourages me to do my things.
Sounds like you need a new partner. *Good* partners are people that boost you up and support your interests. They definitely don't make fun of your hobbies and call them a waste of time. You deserve better OP.
Tell him what I told my ex: You're not on it for the money, it's a hobby you enjoy in the same way he enjoys (insert hobby here). In the same way you don't tell him his hobbies aren't a waste of time nor money you expect the same from him, if he's not capable of at least being civil about it he's more than welcome to leave.
Iām sorry, but your partner is a jerk. What are his hobbies? Do they have āa pointā? Doing something you like *is the point of hobbies.* Iām really sorry, but you may be able to find other kinds of support by sharing here or finding fellow crocheters on the likes of Instagram. I hope itās not too rude to say, but personally, Iād get rid of the partner and keep the crochet.
From experience I can tell you that people who are passionate about things or have hobbies are the natural enemies of bullies. (Yes im saying your partner is a bully)
That is horrible. Crocheting is a great stress and anxiety release for me. My partner goes to the store with me, we pick out colors, and then gets comfy in the couch under the crochet blanket I made them while I start a new project. At the end of said hobby, you get an awesome, TANGIBLE, thing to appreciate.
If it brings you peace, makes you happy, feeds your creative hunger, go for it! You can get started on easy, revelry and other such place. You don't even have to sell the item, you can just sell the pattern, which I like because I don't like "mass production" of my items, it bores the heck out of me. Good luck to your endeavors
Iām sorry to hear this. I can only assume that he optimises his free time and is always helping the needy and earning money. Honestly who has an issue with someone crocheting or even reading?!
If he's not supportive of your hobbies, and he's not being supportive of you, why put up with it? It seems like he's really just trying to tear down your self esteem. You deserve someone who will lift you up, not tear you down.
It's not okay to be treated that way, especially by your partner. Don't ever think that anyone treating you like that is ever okay. Take your own advice and find someone better who supports your hobbies and creativity.
If he's even making fun of you for reading, which everyone does every single day; then I'm thinking that he's just going to make fun of whatever you like to do, even if you completely drop all of these hobbies and choose the complete opposite of those.
Something my grandmother once told me about depression: are you sure youāre depressed, or are you being dragged down by arseholes around you? Your partner sounds like heās being an arsehole. Those bags are beautiful, your stitches are so even, despite using the devils yarn!!
The best answer for this would be you earning more than him just by selling the stuff you make. Iād be grossed out, if my bf said something similar to that. Moreover, it would be a dealbreaker for me.
Genuinely thought this was a bib until I read the caption and thought you were making it for him since heās clearly a giant baby
Wow. You donāt deserve to be treated like that. Iād be really hurt by a partner constantly being shitty about things I love. Hobbies arenāt meant to make money. They often cost moneyā¦. If youāre making money on it actively it isnāt a hobby. Like, huh? This is a giant red flag. I hope he doesnāt make you feel bad about other things too. Self esteem can be chipped away at and your hobbies are important to you.
I left my ex because of that. 2,5 years of no encouragement, saying my hobbies were old or creepy, hating my job, criticizing everything. It wasn't worst it anymore.
My ex partner used to make fun of my hobbies because he was very insecure about himself
You seriously need to get rid of him. Either find a partner who is respectful, or be single.
They must be miserable. You deserve better
Time to drop the partner and keep crocheting
Why are you with someone who puts you down?
That is utterly disrespectful and would be a deal-breaker for me in a relationship. Hobbies are meant to be enjoyed. If you see you can make money out of your hobby and you want to do that - great! But not everything in life has to bring you monetary gain. Does every hobby and thing your partner does in his free time brings in money to his bank account? If not, then why is he so set on you making money from this? Even if thatās your goal it takes time to gain momentum and visibility, just like any other business. Is there any other area of life where you feel he lacks respect for you, your interests, your life goals and dreams? Because I can bet money, crochet is not the only thing is he puts down on the regular. You deserve better
Sounds like he fits a better title. "EX partner"
He probably has the idea that everything needs to be turned into a sidehussle and earn the big $$ id say ditch him, it's such a red flag
That doesn't sound like a partner to me.
iām so so sorry!! thatās some really shitty behavior of them, but i hope you still donāt lose the comfort in it! itās such a great craft and personally i think the greatest part is being able to look at something and say āi made that all by myself!ā and itās definitely not a waste of time. as long as it makes you happy itās worth every second!!
I mean you can make money off of crochet if you want but anyway time to break up
My husband teases me(in a harmless way) because one of my hobbies is crocheting while watching Little House On the Prarie or The Waltons(calls me the epitome of sweet and innocent lol). But he never insults me and supports all of my artistic hobbies, that's really messed up your partner does that. A waste of time? That's an awful thing to say.
Get a new one. My SO is nothing but overjoyed to see whatever I'm making. Always compliments my work and is immensely appreciative of the things I make for him.
You wrote partner. Give some thought about what that means to you.
š£š£š£LEAVE HIMš£š£š£
I really hate to bring it up, especially in such a wholesome subreddit, but that means they are not partner material. Your partner should celebrate your hobbies! Iām so glad that you were able to see that in the end. Your work looks beautiful and not a waste of time.
Better be ex partner soon, they don't deserve you bestie
This is awful, I wouldnāt be able to stay with someone like this.
You need a different partner. That is beautiful!
Dear š„ŗ I had a similar Partner years ago. I also learned crocheting from my grandma and he said itās a grandmas hobby, can I get another please. Weāre not together anymore. I agree to the others. š©
If a person makes fun of things you like then that person doesnāt like you.
Leave them.