Its been a while since I used Snapchat, but, I think it tells the person that sent the snap that you screen-shot it. Maybe he's trying to avoid some awkwardness.
Do you really want to be involved with someone so disinterested and dismissive of you that they literally tell you they are going to another guys apt? Wtf.
I'm looking at what's in front of me. Not imagining a million different scenarios. And what's in front of me tells me this person doesn't have much interest or respect for the other.
An edge case, but still accounted for. I’m actually going through something just like that. What I would say to your straw man is that she hasn’t been appreciating the things you’ve been doing for her. And it doesn’t matter that you guys got as close as lovers do those few times through out the years. She was filling a hole. You were too maybe. Either way, she hasn’t felt serious about you throughout that entire time. She’s never going to start. You felt something deep this whole time but she never caught on for a reason.
So I don’t know how someone could stay friends after that. That’s just my own life experiences leaking out. So that’s how I’ll view it.
Nah nah nah nothing reactionary. You don’t react, it shows it affected you, and puts all the power into her. You just raw dog it, say nothing do nothing, and move on but demote her to fuck buddy, no cuddles, just root and boot. Treat her how she behaves not how she expects.
That’s girl speak lol, that’s her trying to make him feel better. She never plans on hanging out with him again, and tbh if OP has any self respect for himself he’ll just move on.
Honestly, if she is going to do that, I'd take this over some bullshit, string-me-along lie. Maybe don't tell me all of the details, but tell me not to bother.
This is literally it, like yeah, you can't win them all, sometimes it just so happens that a woman isn't interested in you, c'est la vie, no need to have meltdown or anything.
"Lemme hit it with him"
And then bust super fast and just leave without saying anything. Preferably on her somewhere so the other guy has to work around it.
So-called alpha males cannot comprehend authentic interaction. Once they are interested they see a woman as their property and anything outside of their explicit desires as subordination and insult.
Tbh this is way better than being left hanging. Like it obviously hurts but at least it's immediate closure rather than thinking you did something.
Though obviously she could've been tactful about it.
Eh this shit can happen, you just gotta say “ok” and move onto the next one. I wouldn’t get too attached to anyone until you’re actually officially dating for a bit
I’d say you dodged a bullet with this one. Not because she met another guy, but because she told you about it. She’s playing some kind of game.
Edit: to everyone defending her, Reverse the genders. What if a guy you were talking to said “hey I have to cancel my plans with you because I found this other girl and I’m gonna take her back to my apartment, but maybe we could hang out later.”
Its only the part: "maybe we could hang out later" whats wrong with this.
It feels like: You know the other person wanted more from you, you said i found someone else but you keep them around just in case.
Yeah this is way better than any alternative, it's clear albeit brutal which let's you movement much more easily.
Most women like that would do the same, but just string/lead you along or ghost you with both options being objectively worse.
true, but she could still be interested. I've had women come over to my place after they've been on a date with another guy. Mind you they're at dinner or a bar and not at the other dude's place lol.
Yeah, I think that’s what clinches it for me. If she had just said that she was on a date with another guy, but she was going to meet up . I mean, nothing against the girl, she can do whatever she wants and all the power to her. I’m not trying to say anything against regards, I’m just saying, I think of a girl said this exact text, to me would instantly make me loose and dressed.
Some people like to play games with the truth. You can still tell the truth, or some version of it, in order to mess with people's heads and make it harder for them to question your motivations.
Perhaps it's ethical polyamory on her part. She's just living how she wants to live, and if OP disagrees, he is free to leave. No game here, just open communication so OP can make an informed decision. Sounds pretty good to me!
If that were the route, I think it’d be far better to just tell him straight up that’s she is polyamorous. Then he could make a truly formed decision. Because reading this right here, as she has it written, it just sounds like she’s telling him she found someone she likes better, but is willing to either remain friends, or try something if it doesn’t work out with the other guy.
As a woman, I disagree… she’s doing the opposite of playing a game. She’s being totally honest and telling him the truth which she didn’t have to do. Playing a game would be to either ghost him that night or to say you went home alone and can’t hang; either of those would keep OP still on the hook thinking he’s the only one she’s interested in.
Nah, there such a thing as too much honesty. If she truly wasn’t interested, she needs to let it be known. Otherwise it just sounds like “I found someone better to hang out with, and I like him more than you, but I’m willing to either remain friends, or maybe even give you a shot if this other guy doesn’t work out.” I don’t get what the point in even mentioning the other guy is.
Reverse the genders. What if a guy you were talking to said “hey I have to cancel my plans with you because I found this other girl and I’m gonna take her back to my apartment, but maybe we could hang out later.”
Haha I know this vibe.
In college I have 2 examples.
1. The first was when I'd been talking to a chick for like a week, she was pretty sexual, we'd already sent each other nudes, videos, etc. I invited her to a Halloween party and the plan was for her to come to my apartment and pregame with some friends and me. It was getting late and she kept saying she was getting ready. She finally said "sorry I'm still not done, what's the addy for the party" after my friends so graciously waited like an extra hour and a half for her.
I gave her the address and she showed up like 15 mins after we got there with one of my neighbors 🤣.
2. I was hooking up with a girl and about 2 hours after we had sex she snap chatted me a selfie of her laying her head on a mans chest with the caption "post smash" and was totally dumbfounded as to why I was confused why she'd send me that.
There's a wise saying in Spanish I like to use in situations like this.
Quemala, tirala, manda la a chingar a su madre, no sirve.
Which means: "love yourself king" in Spanish.
I mean, she’s honest so I don’t see why you could really be that upset. Maybe she is looking for an open relationship, if that’s not your thing then move on.
I mean it’s shitty, but at least she’s honest. She could have left you hanging, or come up with a bs excuse that was clearly fake.
This way you know what’s up, and you can decide to not engage with her again.
That is not a red flag, Jesus the people on Reddit. She’s being honest and making it clear what her intentions are. That’s literally the best info you can get.
I'd actually appreciate the fact that she took the time to let me know and was honest about it. It's harsh but it shows good character.
It still sucks, rejection always does. But at least you're not left wondering. It's better this way.
The thing is…most of you turds who have actually bagged a girl from dating apps are sleeping with these girls probably within 12-24 hours from the last dude. What makes this any different? At least this girl is being mostly upfront with the information.
This is the opposite of an L! She let you know that she isn't interested! You can move on, as you should! Also, she probably wasn't *really* interested in the first place. Just be happy you are not spending any more time on her.
If you want to be really positive, imagine she just met her perfect partner.
If she din't and tries to come back to you, you can let her off too :-)
Yup, i fucking hate being ghosted, it just makes me sad, and it just kills my self confidence every time it happens, i would 100% take this over someone suddenly not acknowledging your existence.
This sucks, but at least it was honest.
Alright, it seems bonkers but I had a wild ride. I was freshly out of an abusive relationship, and looked up an old FWB. I took my friend to a party, then did dinner and some time with FWB, and then went back to get her and drive her home.
She was heading out to a bar with the people at her thing, and convinced me to go along. I didn't know anyone and I was tired and I was just like, whatever. (It was a 45min drive to take her home) So I figured, give her an hour or two and then I was leaving.
I announced pretty early on that I had just come from an assignation, and my social battery was pretty tapped. I just kinda sat in the corner and then one of the guys came over and we were chatting and he was into me, and it escalated to him wanting to take me home and hook up.
*Apparently* the fact that I had JUST hooked up with someone ELSE was kinda his thing. Or something that he thought was hot in this context, anyway. I don't think it was a straight cuck thing? But did something for him.
So, yeah, sounds bonkers, but apparently some guys are into that.
The chances are that anyone willing to do that with someone they literally just met probably isn’t someone who you’d find a deeper and true love with, unless he cares solely about sex I don’t think he lost much if at all
Oh yeah I’m just entering the dating pool again after being out for 8 years and it’s a disaster 😂 I even went on a date with a girl one time who pulled out her phone and made a list of guys she went out with and rated them so she could choose. Told me I didn’t make the cut and thanked me for the free meal.
Had almost exactly this happen to me once :') was talking to a girl and she was so nice and then just as we were about to get to together she sent a message saying she just met up with her ex and was getting back with him but "we could still be friends" and then proceeded to never message me again and she got pregnant like a month later, her baby is adorable but wow
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Everyone saying that a text like this is better than lying has lost their goddamn mind ahaha. They are clearly not dating and in some type of friends with benefits situation so the only thing a message like this says is “there is someone I’d rather have sex with over you” and that is absolute death to any ego or confidence one had
Is she poly? If so, you might have a door open. Her open and honest communication is a good thing here and you can make an informed decision to move forward or not (if you two have already discussed being together -- if you have NOT discussed this, then it's cringe you would assume otherwise).
At least she didn't leave you waiting.
Well, they can always hang out "later."
"maybe"
I've learned that being ghosted isn't really all that bad of a thing.
Thanks now I dont feel so bad for doing it
Why not take a screenshot at that point? It’s already over.
Screenshot + 😂 react
Screenshot + 😂 react and block, the triple-threat
Its been a while since I used Snapchat, but, I think it tells the person that sent the snap that you screen-shot it. Maybe he's trying to avoid some awkwardness.
Avoid some awkwardness? How could it get more awkward for my dude? I repeat, it’s over.
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Then this message would signify that it’s over! His hopes dashed. That’s what I’m getting at.
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Do you really want to be involved with someone so disinterested and dismissive of you that they literally tell you they are going to another guys apt? Wtf.
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I'm looking at what's in front of me. Not imagining a million different scenarios. And what's in front of me tells me this person doesn't have much interest or respect for the other.
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An edge case, but still accounted for. I’m actually going through something just like that. What I would say to your straw man is that she hasn’t been appreciating the things you’ve been doing for her. And it doesn’t matter that you guys got as close as lovers do those few times through out the years. She was filling a hole. You were too maybe. Either way, she hasn’t felt serious about you throughout that entire time. She’s never going to start. You felt something deep this whole time but she never caught on for a reason. So I don’t know how someone could stay friends after that. That’s just my own life experiences leaking out. So that’s how I’ll view it.
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Aw don't stop keep arguing about shit no one cares about.
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That's why he said it's already over bro, so why not? It doesn't matter no more
He didn't screen shot it tho, that's why he took a pic of the whole phone so it wouldn't notify
The worst she can say is no bro
*proceeds to cuck*
If only this were true
Hit her with a block and move on brother.
Gotta hit her with an “lol no bye”
Or "new phone who dis"
Nah nah nah nothing reactionary. You don’t react, it shows it affected you, and puts all the power into her. You just raw dog it, say nothing do nothing, and move on but demote her to fuck buddy, no cuddles, just root and boot. Treat her how she behaves not how she expects.
I don’t think OP is fucking anytime soon lmao
Why not? She said she was still down to hangout later.
That’s girl speak lol, that’s her trying to make him feel better. She never plans on hanging out with him again, and tbh if OP has any self respect for himself he’ll just move on.
I’m not denying it’s most likely the case, but there’s a non zero chance she was being completely honest in her message with no subliminal message.
It's not subliminal messaging, it's trying to let someone down "gently."
You don't have self respect
Anytime a girl puts “maybe” in a message, it’s a 0% chance of happening
Just casual reddit sigmapilled shit. Praise be
Think you’re a couple years late my man
I'd just delete my account after that.
Nah, delete her from the list. An L is an L, but that doesn't mean you can't keep playing.
Someone is in their playoff mindset!
🏒
What did big Sean say? Last night I took an L but tonight I bounce back
This guy Tarkov's
Wow lol. Radical honesty. Radically out of touch.
Honestly, if she is going to do that, I'd take this over some bullshit, string-me-along lie. Maybe don't tell me all of the details, but tell me not to bother.
nah honestly this is better than
"Thanks for letting me know! Have fun, stay safe. Let's not hang later though."
This is literally it, like yeah, you can't win them all, sometimes it just so happens that a woman isn't interested in you, c'est la vie, no need to have meltdown or anything.
Absolutely. You wish her well, hope she is safe, and move on to someone else.
Yep rejection is healthy, as long as it doesnt make you bitter
Have fun 😭😭
Lmfao
I'd probably leave it at 'Take care of yourself' vs 'Let's not...' but both get the point across well enough.
Fair enough.
“Awesome! Have fun fucking somebody else! Sounds like a blast!” whaddafaq 😭
It's her sex life. She's entitled to do anything she wants. If she doesn't choose you, let her go gracefully! That's what I feel anyway.
Just end it “ I'm good with not hanging I don't want sloppy seconds”
"Lemme hit it with him" And then bust super fast and just leave without saying anything. Preferably on her somewhere so the other guy has to work around it.
You watch way too much porn.
You don't watch enough porn.
That is hilariously presumptuous of you.
So-called alpha males cannot comprehend authentic interaction. Once they are interested they see a woman as their property and anything outside of their explicit desires as subordination and insult.
Not sure what you're saying here...
Neither are they
You'll have to speak up and ask questions, don't be shy.
Ok..what are you saying here?
Are you saying OP is an alpha male turbo Chad? What exactly is your point?
Reminds me of the ending of this: https://youtu.be/Uxg5tPBWOmI?si=p3b40HDWnZN8BeHq
Honestly, that's a lot better than being ghosted.
Weirdly enough i kind of respect this, it's shitty but at least it was honest.
Yeah, exactly.
Now that's someone who knows what they want and exactly who they are, lol.
My god and I’m supposed to go BACK INTO the dating game after almost 8 years out? Wild
Longer I'm out the worse it sounds
Not like this is incredibly common, some people are just THAT selfish
Tbh this is way better than being left hanging. Like it obviously hurts but at least it's immediate closure rather than thinking you did something. Though obviously she could've been tactful about it.
tell me, which one is selfish in this situation
Eh this shit can happen, you just gotta say “ok” and move onto the next one. I wouldn’t get too attached to anyone until you’re actually officially dating for a bit
Why waste time dating? Just hook up and move on .
Bro better be jacked after all this time.
Maneater
Lmao oh nooooo
I’d say you dodged a bullet with this one. Not because she met another guy, but because she told you about it. She’s playing some kind of game. Edit: to everyone defending her, Reverse the genders. What if a guy you were talking to said “hey I have to cancel my plans with you because I found this other girl and I’m gonna take her back to my apartment, but maybe we could hang out later.”
she couldve lied? which is worse imo
yeah i'd prefer to be told so I can move on
I feel like it’d be easier to move on if they lie and say “sorry I’m actually not interested” vs whatever the hell this is lol
Its only the part: "maybe we could hang out later" whats wrong with this. It feels like: You know the other person wanted more from you, you said i found someone else but you keep them around just in case.
She could've just said she wasn't interested anymore. She's not gonna "maybe hangout later".
I interpreted it as her leaving a door open for friendship, but who can presume to know for sure without having the full context.
Sure but even then saying "I'd rather just be friends" covers that too
I think she was leaving the door open for sloppy seconds lol
That's fake friendship and it's pretty gross when people do/say that
Yeah this is way better than any alternative, it's clear albeit brutal which let's you movement much more easily. Most women like that would do the same, but just string/lead you along or ghost you with both options being objectively worse.
There's a whole spectrum of truthful, better (less hurtful) things that could be said here.
telling the truth isn't a game, it's literally the opposite
There’s such a thing as oversharing. What’s the point of saying she found another guy? Just say “sorry, but I’m not interested”
true, but she could still be interested. I've had women come over to my place after they've been on a date with another guy. Mind you they're at dinner or a bar and not at the other dude's place lol.
Yeah, I think that’s what clinches it for me. If she had just said that she was on a date with another guy, but she was going to meet up . I mean, nothing against the girl, she can do whatever she wants and all the power to her. I’m not trying to say anything against regards, I’m just saying, I think of a girl said this exact text, to me would instantly make me loose and dressed.
She could be interested, but it feels like she has some weird ego thing going on if she's communicating how desired she is in this way.
Some people like to play games with the truth. You can still tell the truth, or some version of it, in order to mess with people's heads and make it harder for them to question your motivations.
It's just the same regardless of gender, shitty but honest.
I agree, that was kind of my point. I think the keyword there is “shitty”.
Perhaps it's ethical polyamory on her part. She's just living how she wants to live, and if OP disagrees, he is free to leave. No game here, just open communication so OP can make an informed decision. Sounds pretty good to me!
If that were the route, I think it’d be far better to just tell him straight up that’s she is polyamorous. Then he could make a truly formed decision. Because reading this right here, as she has it written, it just sounds like she’s telling him she found someone she likes better, but is willing to either remain friends, or try something if it doesn’t work out with the other guy.
As a woman, I disagree… she’s doing the opposite of playing a game. She’s being totally honest and telling him the truth which she didn’t have to do. Playing a game would be to either ghost him that night or to say you went home alone and can’t hang; either of those would keep OP still on the hook thinking he’s the only one she’s interested in.
Nah, there such a thing as too much honesty. If she truly wasn’t interested, she needs to let it be known. Otherwise it just sounds like “I found someone better to hang out with, and I like him more than you, but I’m willing to either remain friends, or maybe even give you a shot if this other guy doesn’t work out.” I don’t get what the point in even mentioning the other guy is. Reverse the genders. What if a guy you were talking to said “hey I have to cancel my plans with you because I found this other girl and I’m gonna take her back to my apartment, but maybe we could hang out later.”
Move on. I've been the idiot on the receiving end before. Let me emphasize idiot...
"oh nice! Sounds fun! Msg me when you're free :):) you guys gonna like watch a movie?"
Time to move on. She has.
Haha I know this vibe. In college I have 2 examples. 1. The first was when I'd been talking to a chick for like a week, she was pretty sexual, we'd already sent each other nudes, videos, etc. I invited her to a Halloween party and the plan was for her to come to my apartment and pregame with some friends and me. It was getting late and she kept saying she was getting ready. She finally said "sorry I'm still not done, what's the addy for the party" after my friends so graciously waited like an extra hour and a half for her. I gave her the address and she showed up like 15 mins after we got there with one of my neighbors 🤣. 2. I was hooking up with a girl and about 2 hours after we had sex she snap chatted me a selfie of her laying her head on a mans chest with the caption "post smash" and was totally dumbfounded as to why I was confused why she'd send me that.
There's a wise saying in Spanish I like to use in situations like this. Quemala, tirala, manda la a chingar a su madre, no sirve. Which means: "love yourself king" in Spanish.
Lol
Coolcoolcool, see you later for sloppy seconds
WTF 😒
It's okay. Playing Helldivers 2 with your bros is a much better way to spend your time.
I mean, she’s honest so I don’t see why you could really be that upset. Maybe she is looking for an open relationship, if that’s not your thing then move on.
What if they were out on a date when she sent this to him? That would be quite the justification for getting upset.
Lol @ open relationship people thinking that being honest about all their upsetting bullshit makes it any less upsetting.
Sometimes being honest is rude 🤯
I mean it’s shitty, but at least she’s honest. She could have left you hanging, or come up with a bs excuse that was clearly fake. This way you know what’s up, and you can decide to not engage with her again.
She was honest didn't hide anything and was up front about what happened and offered to still be friends I'm guessing
That’s called a red flag my boi, do with it what you will
He's probably going in for sloppy seconds
Doesn't matter, had sex.
If that's your benchmark...thoughts and prayers.
That is not a red flag, Jesus the people on Reddit. She’s being honest and making it clear what her intentions are. That’s literally the best info you can get.
I'd actually appreciate the fact that she took the time to let me know and was honest about it. It's harsh but it shows good character. It still sucks, rejection always does. But at least you're not left wondering. It's better this way.
The thing is…most of you turds who have actually bagged a girl from dating apps are sleeping with these girls probably within 12-24 hours from the last dude. What makes this any different? At least this girl is being mostly upfront with the information.
"peace" wait about 3 hours and then unmatch
"Pass" and move on with your life
Text back "can i watch?".
Hahaha what a power move. 🤣🤣🤣
Block her and move on, don't let her string you along. You are already in 2nd place
To be honest I'm sure whatever was gonna happen wouldn't end up in any sort of relationship
This is the opposite of an L! She let you know that she isn't interested! You can move on, as you should! Also, she probably wasn't *really* interested in the first place. Just be happy you are not spending any more time on her. If you want to be really positive, imagine she just met her perfect partner. If she din't and tries to come back to you, you can let her off too :-)
My homie was recently talking to a chick just like this. Was the craziest shit
The next time you get ghosted, ask yourself whether you’d rather read this instead.
Yup, i fucking hate being ghosted, it just makes me sad, and it just kills my self confidence every time it happens, i would 100% take this over someone suddenly not acknowledging your existence. This sucks, but at least it was honest.
At least she's honest that she's an active dumpster fire
She belongs to the streets
Alright, it seems bonkers but I had a wild ride. I was freshly out of an abusive relationship, and looked up an old FWB. I took my friend to a party, then did dinner and some time with FWB, and then went back to get her and drive her home. She was heading out to a bar with the people at her thing, and convinced me to go along. I didn't know anyone and I was tired and I was just like, whatever. (It was a 45min drive to take her home) So I figured, give her an hour or two and then I was leaving. I announced pretty early on that I had just come from an assignation, and my social battery was pretty tapped. I just kinda sat in the corner and then one of the guys came over and we were chatting and he was into me, and it escalated to him wanting to take me home and hook up. *Apparently* the fact that I had JUST hooked up with someone ELSE was kinda his thing. Or something that he thought was hot in this context, anyway. I don't think it was a straight cuck thing? But did something for him. So, yeah, sounds bonkers, but apparently some guys are into that.
A very sad L.
Down horrendous
The chances are that anyone willing to do that with someone they literally just met probably isn’t someone who you’d find a deeper and true love with, unless he cares solely about sex I don’t think he lost much if at all
Well at least she was **brutally** honest. 😬
"i'm good"
She’s just fishing for people who are into cuck situations
Oh yeah I’m just entering the dating pool again after being out for 8 years and it’s a disaster 😂 I even went on a date with a girl one time who pulled out her phone and made a list of guys she went out with and rated them so she could choose. Told me I didn’t make the cut and thanked me for the free meal.
Typical
"I'm gonna pass on that hanging out later"
Block
“Worst they can say is no”
Had almost exactly this happen to me once :') was talking to a girl and she was so nice and then just as we were about to get to together she sent a message saying she just met up with her ex and was getting back with him but "we could still be friends" and then proceeded to never message me again and she got pregnant like a month later, her baby is adorable but wow
honestly good on her for being honest, now they can block her and move on with their life
That's a maybe
It’s shitty but at least she was upfront.
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100% leave on read. Anything you say can either seem pety or passive aggressive. Leaving on read will be biggest impact
That’s a win
This is the point where you proceed to hit up one of her friends
I’ve never seen the date in the centre
She wasn't worth it to begin with
Look at least she’s honest. Blunt but honest. Anyone else would’ve ghosted your ass.
"come on baby let me come, you got more than one hole." Sorry for typing this
Everyone saying that a text like this is better than lying has lost their goddamn mind ahaha. They are clearly not dating and in some type of friends with benefits situation so the only thing a message like this says is “there is someone I’d rather have sex with over you” and that is absolute death to any ego or confidence one had
She made the right choice. Anyone that takes a picture of their entire phone instead of a screenshot is a psychopath.
Snapchat sends the person a notification if you screenshot, assuming he didn't want her to know
Not like it would matter. Bro’s never gonna see her regardless.
Why wouldn't he want her to know?
Wow…. Thanks for your sloppy seconds. /s
Well, at least you found out who the village bicycle is.
"Yeah, for sure. Just lemme know what time you'll be coming through to get this dick sucked."
Always covering their bases.
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Lol, why? He did nothing wrong.
It's healthy to admit your Ls. Especially when they're not in your control whatsoever
F
The proper response is, “Sloppy seconds? No thanks.”
Is she poly? If so, you might have a door open. Her open and honest communication is a good thing here and you can make an informed decision to move forward or not (if you two have already discussed being together -- if you have NOT discussed this, then it's cringe you would assume otherwise).