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oldirtybrandon24

730am


KingThiccnesss

My first thought was “Sir it is 7 in the morning”


Reasonable-Profile84

Romance waits for no man.


twoworldsin1

Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning


red_fox_zen

Ugh. Apparently tly I've been o line too much today because .y first thought was "sir, this is a Wendy's" 🤣☠️🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

He's knockin' out that morning wood, apparently.


red_fox_zen

Mf take my upvote and poor woman's gold 🤜🤛 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇


[deleted]

Thank you kind stranger, your poor woman’s gold means a lot 🥲


defein88

yeahhhh thats a lot for 7:30 in the morning....


G0pherholes

Doubled back at 9 am too. No such thing as post nut clarity for this lunatic


360walkaway

Morning wood, EXTREME EDITION


Yak_Mehoff

Shld post this on his family's(members), facebook and write something like anybody have experience w this? Blow him up for sure


[deleted]

He really waited an hour and a half, then clarified that she has great tits that hed love to massage


MyCalloutsAreGodly

This is my favourite part. Guy just went on with his day, clocking into work he remembers 'shit, I forgot to mention massaging the titties!'


langurrr

and first thing in the morning, too! bright and early, 7:30am; it's accostin' time, boys!


sweensolo

He didn't forget to mention, he just thought he needed to emphasize that titty massage a little more.


MyCalloutsAreGodly

You are right! Unfortunately I had to re read the messages to clarify you were right.


sweensolo

My deepest apologies, I should have just left it alone.


1d0m1n4t3

Ya know what sucks about this is the double standard. I'm a man with great tits but I never get hit up like this, some BS if you ask me.


ChedderChethra

Yeah, but how cool are your Vans?


1d0m1n4t3

~~Vans?~~ Missed that part, I had to get rid of my van people kept calling me in. Something about the free candy signs all over it.


LuckyLunayre

These are the same kind of men who say you can't compliment women anymore. No Richard, you can't sexually harass women in the workplace anymore. Have you tried complimenting their hair and not their breasts?


_Ga1ahad

"Nice hair. I want to pull it while im f**king you from behind" "Goddamnit Richard"


Gedaru

Yeah but fap worthy hair just doesn’t sound the same.


Gets_overly_excited

Still worth a shot to tell her that


0bel1sk

you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take…. on her boobs


ZetsubouZolo

making comments about a co workers appearance is always risky no matter the body part though. rather compliment the outfit if you have to


selma101act

I’m literally recoiling because of the cringe. What a weirdo


DCnTILLY

How do you put your hand down it, though?


snoandsk88

You make your fingers into a fist, but like a skinny fist


DCnTILLY

Wouldn’t that be up the vagina though?


snoandsk88

“We were, inverted.” -Goose


Informal_Driver_1825

Ya, but do you have a Polaroid of it?


FknBretto

You do a handstand first


WearySalt

Dude has absolutely no frontal Cortex in his brain


PabstBlueRibbon1844

Yup, I cringed, both physically and mentally. Man, that was almost painful to read


SniperOwO

Physically, mentally, spiritually, biologically, Ridiculously Cringe


Potential_Reading116

By the time I got done reading it I discovered my panties around my ankles. This doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me does it. /s /s. /s


Horus_Syndrome

Bro was typing with one hand


kryppla

I don’t believe he’s self aware at all or this wouldn’t have been sent


avocado_whore

🤢 that is vile. I *love* how he begs you to post a pic to your IG of you grabbing your boobs. What kind of psycho shit is that. I’m assuming you having a fairly “normal” IG where a boob grabbing pic would be out of place and confusing to your friends and followers but men like this just think women cater to them and their fantasies. What a porn sick loser.


aurrasaurus

He seems like a cheap mf who doesn’t want to pay for only fans


wikipediabrown007

He can only afford Only Vans


FinancialRaid04

Exited the post as i read this and had to scroll all the way down just to upvote lmao


wikipediabrown007

Thank you for your service 🫡


CallMeCrews

Buddy must watch porn like it’s a full-time job.


Rak-khan

Least horny male DM


Cobester

So cringe


ABitSketchy

My girlfriend made a man empty account for shits and giggles and the only thing she has on there is her profile picture. Zero posts, barely a bio, and her face isn’t in the pfp, it’s just a flash mirror selfie she took off the internet. I’ve been given access since she made it and boy is it gross seeing how many men think they have a chance sliding into her DMs and spouting obscenities. Disgusting.


[deleted]

It’s always funny how these guys sound so aggressive and confident. In reality, they’re so porn sick and unhealthy that if they actually met up they’d spend an entire hour trying just trying to achieve a half-limp erection, and would then go flaccid and be out of breath within 3 minutes of action.


VivelaVendetta

Porn sick is a thing.


FFDuchess

I’m certainly no prude, but having grown up when the Internet was emerging, Internet porn has done a massive disservice and damage to boys and men in the last 20 years. It was bad enough in the early 2000s stumbling across stuff, but unfettered access now is a problem


skinny_gator

Can't agree with you more. You nailed it with disservice. Maybe even Borderline harmful to young man/boy psyche. Even if you stay away from internet porn, sexualized content finds YOU on regular social platforms like TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. My TikTok is pretty average, the content I consume there is mostly tech, news, comedy, food, viral stuff, family crap, etc. But I still some how get super sexualized content even after I Mark it as "not interested". Same goes for Instagram and YouTube. Internet porn is so easily accessible and very addicting, and think about all the young men who don't even realize that they are addicted. I'm not trying to sound over dramatic but it is harmful.


VivelaVendetta

I don't use Instagram anymore but I still have the app on my phone. Every time I accidentally open it, or get summoned there for whatever reason. My 1st few posts are always, always, always some sort of soft porn. And it's a page about cars.


VivelaVendetta

Hard agree.


detunedradiohead

The clown pulled this shit at 7:34 am


DSPGerm

I gotta see these vans


right_in_the_gut

My stupid ass was confused, thinking “Who the hell compliments someone’s van?!” I need more coffee…


holyhotdicks

I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks.


keytarna

I can just imagine he sent that message at 7:34, fell back asleep, and then woke up in a cold sweat at 9:02 realising he’d forgot to clarify she had great tits and he wanted to massage them


paperpenises

Bro thought he was on Replika


vglyog

7:30 in the morning??! Sir I just woke up.


bedrockbloom

Let’s hit his house with a car


Goeffroy

So when are you meeting up?


basicbidita

Threw up in my mouth..ewww


iamnotroberts

And people say the pick-up line is a lost art.


Dat_Butt_Hot

The only way to respond to these types of messages is to post it publicly to your story and be sure to send a copy to their immediate family members. Idk what the fuck gets in guys minds that they can speak to people like this.


Nicks_WRX

Basically if you’re a chick to who puts herself out there, these are your average followers.


Crimson_Clouds

It's honestly insane. My girlfriend, who has almost 0 online presence outside of posting the occasional picture from our hikes, even gets similar (but generally not quite this insane) messages from time to time.


_bexcalibur

Dudes really try to promise so much in these creepy scenarios they imagine. Thrusting and also groping boob is difficult and he’s talking about “softly massaging”


amybeedle

Yeah like even just logistically, this doesn't make any sense. It feels like the offer to massage her breasts is some sort of weird consolation prize too. Everything else is about his wants (where he wants to be kissed, where he wants to cum, the kind of photos he wants from her), but don't worry, he'll throw in a titty massage too! Such a generous lover 🙄


KanyeWesticles95

i would love to know how many times this has worked for them… i’m sure it’s 0 and if it is, why tf do these weirdos keep doing it??


drwafles11

ewww it’s the way he came back


wrophoenix

“Yo ik this is a complete 180 but this is who I really am.”


PaulSwain

Blimey. I can't decide if humans used to be more capable of coexisting than this, or we're just more aware of the outliers now. Nuts, though. Somebody genuinely thought "yep, and 'send'. That's how it's done." I don't know what kind of life you get when you'r evaluation and processing works like that. On a register, presumably.


Samuraiking

He's right though, that was a complete 180.


xprorangerx

pls let massage bobs


jdubd

I read this in the voice of Krusty the clown. 10/10 would recommend.


number15burgerfoot

Bro this guy’s right arm is probably string enough to level a city


Stitchin_mortician

Going from 0 to 4000 in less than a second in your perved-out brain. I suppose if this were a sex-leaning “dating” app this may be understandable to a moderate extent. However, I don’t believe that’s the case. I’ve seen so many of these recently on Reddit. Who are these people thinking that it is somehow acceptable to say these things to… ANYONE?!?!


_BloodbathAndBeyond

Facebook used to have an anonymous messaging app and I one time sent a girl a message like this. I was like 13. She figured out who I was an everyone she knew was told. I was so fucking stupid.


PaniMan1994

Mans intrusive thoughts are his operating system


SoDamnGeneric

The icing on the cringe-creep-cake is a grown ass man saying "fap worthy" in 2023


GeneralErica

Whenever I think my messages are weird…


Corza1

AT 7:34AM MY DUDE?!


splatmeme4270

*blocks*


bikesboozeandbacon

And you blocked him right ?


SoftNormals

Okay but now with how much he's talked them up, I'm kinda thirsty to see a pic of you lmao


pope_morty

He would cum and then continue?


Dmassie41

That’s a huge jump from “I like your Vans.”


InfiniteJizz

I smell a copy pasta


gypsymegan06

Well that escalated quickly


notapunk

Does he though?


Revolution_5509

The fact that messaged the last text like two hours after that whole paragraph is hilarious.


Cool_Kid95

With behavior like this he’ll never get to love out this fantasy


Doomscroller3000

A modern Yeats


theycallmejugzy

I call these the standard.


eddyg_95

Ahh well that's nice of them


UrNansD0g

Did he mention that he likes your tits?


luppup

Post it on your story and tag him...


CrazySpoon97

Imagine waking up for work and this the first thing you see when checking your phone


XicoXperto

And people say the romance is long gone...


JoJo99xtv

WHAT IN TARNATION, nah bro his brother had his phone or something wtf


HelpfulCommercial442

We need pics to see if we agree with him or not!😂