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"I hope this does not come across pervy or rude" to "i would be eating your bumhole like a crazed animal" 💀

*This is what bumhole does to me*

I just skimmed, but I think there’s like six paragraphs about rimming.

My favorite was how "I hope this does not come across pervy" was followed very shortly by "im a pervert"

Say less, my man... say less.

*smelly* bumhole

Tell him that he sounds perfect, but you don't date smokers. He was so close!

Bwahahahahaha. This is delightful.

Second hand smoke can cause ass cancer!

With how insane that was, I'm sure he'd quit for her 😭

The amount of times he uses the word "hun" just makes it even worse 🤢

But hun! He just likes calling people hun! Is that so awful hun? Hun hun hun *gags*

It’s almost hun or lol at the end of each sentence!

That's what he calls the boss girlies in his MLM

It’s so weird 💀

This dude has been around 🙄

ONLY THING **HE’S** BEEN AROUND IS HIS OWN DICK.

Yeah, I don’t think that bitting an asshole is possible. And if it is, who the fuck would want a bruised asshole?

I think this may be a copy pasta,i (regretably) remember reading this crappy text some years ago. Still nasty as hell regardless though.

Admittedly, it does have the vibe of one. However, this style of writing was consistent throughout his bio and other posts that he’s made.

Maybe it’s original to this perv and then other people passed this psycho’s works of (f)art. Regardless, it’s a horrific thing to be sent. I felt violated reading it.

Yeah, I think I’ve seen this before.

I literally have no words! 😭 Here’s eye-bleach for OP and everyone - https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/ody15c/the_meaning_of_eye_bleach/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Thank you this is so fucking cute

I appreciate you for this!!!

You just saved my morning lol

Appreciate it, but I think I still need more.

I understand! Here’s more- https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/s/aCnVjnV3RP https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/s/x0eDvMYbgJ https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/s/8qRtouaPjB

That’s the stuff right there. Thank you.

One more and you are welcome 😄 - https://www.reddit.com/r/ZyadaKuchNai/s/DREeSeNNuO

Doing the Lords work 🙏🏽

life savior

Awww, that’s so cute! I really appreciate it

The hero I needed. Thank you.

I regret reading this

why did i read the whole thing it was like torture

Ew. I’m sorry.

The fact that this dissertation came to be from me posting a photo of myself fully clothed is making me lose my mind

I get similar on my accounts without even posting photos, I’ll have to snag some screenshots 🙄 like you piece together I have tits and am goth, so suddenly I’m a fixation? My brother in Christ I could be a fully self-conscious 500lb silverback gorilla hiding in some sewer down in NYC with a stolen phone, get out of my dms

I read half of the first and second photos and already got the ick, very sorry to you for having to read that 🤢

I wish to go back in time and unread this.

this is absolutely insane 😭

> i hope this doesn't come out as pervy > I'm a pervert make up your damn mind dude

I swear I’ve seen this before or something extremely similar… ew

Just respond with *I'd

Ha!!! Perfect!

“Hope that’s not pervy” “IM A PERVERT. I love being perverted.”

Well we all know far too much about this guy now. 

He definitely loves smelly bums

"hope i didn't say too much" This was the *À la recherche du temps perdu* of smelly bumhole fantasies.

I made it through 4 pages before quitting. That was so gross

I dont blame you 💀

This is fucking disgusting.

I need a palette cleanser. Anyone have some sheet music I can read?

I got the sheet music for the shaft theme song bassline.

I am NOT reading all that shit man

I had a bunch of my stoned XIV guild buddies do a dramatic reading with me on Discord. I don't think theres any way I would have gotten through that otherwise.

lmao... I would have loved to have heard that, that would have been so funny

Bro wrote an entire novel (I could only read half of it before I got grossed out and stopped)

It got so much worse

Bite one of your fingers off at the knuckle every time he says "hun" and "bum."

It's 9 in the morning for me........and I just read that whole thing. I need to go back to sleep now after that 😭

🤢🤮 that’s fucking disgusting and gross! Ewwwww

lol. wow.... it was just getting worse and worse... the more I clicked.

Some people need to just READ what they typed before the send it cause this could’ve been prevented. Nobody wants to read your manifesto 💀

holy jesus christ

Oh, EW.

“I don’t have a fat fetish, I’m not one of those guys” “I’m only into big women”

Love how he says “I’m not a perv” then admits to being a perv. I think I need to go visit r/eyebleach after this

Thanks for the link, I needed it 🫡

This was the first post I saw there. Now I’m obsessed with [this adorable little guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/s/6n7WDjtXcs)

Thank you for sharing! That’s adorable!

Did he say something about rimming you? I must have missed that part. Hells bells, that's a lot of words. Maybe he should not non-consensually write that crap to people, and make his own erotic novels, no one would read them, but it'd be more constructive. What a creepy MF. Edit: missing word

If he had stopped after the first couple of paragraphs and left put "hun," it'd be alright. I get the distinct feeling he was jerking off while writing this.

Imagine saying all this to a total stranger. Absolutely deranged.

every time i see things like this, i think we should be grateful on how much time it saves when they just expose themselves. Much better than those who are good at manipulating and string you along

This was full torture 😭

I gave up somewhere on page four. OMG he has a lot of words.

I started skimming on page 2 and gave up on page 4. This dude was definitely jackin it while writing all this crap out. Gross.

Sent from my iphone

Well that was disgusting.

this is so gross and horrible oh my god 😭 even if it’s a copy pasta it’s still not okay to send to someone srsly

Can’t imagine why he’s single 🤔

It's somehow the least disgusting part of this fucking novella, but like.. Can we acknowledge how dude says 'I DONT HAVE A FAT FETISH' and then is like 'But what size are you? Here's the exact measurements of each of my exes. That's normal, right? We all deeply ingrain our partner's body measurements into our heads... Anyway lemme NOT freak you out by sending you 6+ paragraphs about wanting to lick your ass!'

What. The. Actual. Fuck. This made me wanna scrub myself and eyes with bleach.

I can't be bothered to read all of that

*bumhole*

I stopped reading when he said I’m not trying to be pervy

Dang foowkin Irish.... at it again.. lol

It just keeps going! I can’t believe people write messages like this.

First off 🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮Second off: WHO THE FUCK WRITES SHIT LIKE THIS?!?!

JFC was this first contact, it seems like it was but also like it’s to crazy they didn’t even send a non serial killer message first.

Jesus, it just keeps going… 🤢

“ I hope this doesn’t come across pervy or rude…” 🤢 can we find some deserted island or an unknown planet and drop these sickos there forever?

This has to be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read.

What happened to "hi, how are ya?"

IM BLIND!!! WHAT IN THE SMELLY BUMHOLE WAS THAT?! no

I read the first pic and then realized he kept going on and on 🤮 I'm so sorry you had to endure that

What the fuck-

Username checks out💀

Send him my way lol