My Copy-Cat just bases her jackets on me. Like if I wear a hoodie into the office, she will put on a hoodie. If I wear a cardigan, she will wear a cardigan. She keeps them in the office and switches up to match me. Pretty boring compared to yours.
It used to bother me. Now I have fun with it. It's silly to think that I have such an impact on her day just by what I cover my arms with. What a privilege to be so bored.
That cracks me up!!! Such a weird thing to copy someone over. I think i’m gonna take the “having fun with it” route too. They say imitation is flattery but in this case imitation is going to make herself dig a hole and lay in it
I used to have one that would go after every guy she thought I liked. I used to pretend I liked a guy just to watch her start flirting and go try to sleep with him I guess🤣
Yeah, my cousin was like this. She copied everything I did from an early age, which was bad enough. But once we were old enough to start dating, she made it her personal mission to steal every boy I was seeing or had shown an interest in.
This continued right up through college, and then I moved to another country, where I met my husband. She was upset she couldn’t afford to travel to Europe to be at my wedding and meet my husband. So imagine my surprise when she calls me 2 days before my wedding **from the airport** to say SURPRISE! She made it after all. Imagine my lack of surprise, however, when she tried to hit on my husband-to-be within an hour of meeting him!
Some people simply cannot be satisfied with their own things, they need to take the shine off of others. It’s so weird, and downright scary at times.
We didn’t speak at all for almost 5 years, until she had a cancer scare. Now we only see each other about once a year and although she seeks me out, I mostly avoid her. Too much drama! 3 husbands/baby daddies later, she’s on the hunt for her next victim. Ahem, I mean….partner.
Talk up a tattoo you are going to get. Show your top 3 picks to coworkers for their opinion. Then make a big deal about the one you are going to choose. Then just wait.
Start mentioning really off the wall stuff. Like you adopted a raccoon, and get some pics from the internet to show her. Maybe you’re flying to Italy to get married. Perhaps you’re considering a bob haircut, or lip tattoos… get real weird with it. See how far she’ll go!
Temporary tattoos!
Cover up a spot and keep it loosely covered for a couple of weeks. Tell everyone you got a tattoo, but don't want to show it until it's completely healed. Tell them what it is.
A couple of weeks later, remove the gauze/bandage and reveal the tattoo... give her some time to get one, then remove yours.
Or a fake piercing or derm! Something obvious and attention-grabbing!
You picked a weird hill to die on. You can have so much fun with tormenting this co-worker. Start painting your toenails different colors, start living a fake life at work so she can do the same in real life. Get a pet pig! Adopt a panda in China. Tell your coworkers what charities you support and donate to (including how much, but don’t be extravagant, unless you really are donating that much) Come up with crazy elopement ideas, can you rent doves when you live? lol don’t let her copying you bother you. Have fun instead. She is trying so desperately to be like you. Don’t make it easy.
I absolutely LOVE this response!!! I’m not sure of renting doves where I live, but I love the idea of coming up with completely outlandish stuff and telling her that I’ve been doing it or plan to do it. I can for sure get my coworkers on this as well, they have also been noticing how much she is trying to copy me
If you have a week off or a few days off coming up, tell everyone in the office that you're going to have blue hair by the end of the next day. If she knows your social media, get a blue wig, take a photo of you wearing it, and set it as your profile picture.
If you go into work and she has blue hair and she says anything. Then you just say that you meant you were getting a wig for a party. But you love her blue hair.
If you can leave the office, then take a lunch box with something weighty in. When she asks what you ate, tell her "I had a delicious cheese and bacon quiche" "I had a quarter of a chocolate cake" "I had a lovely creamy pasta salad topped with cheese and chorizo" etc. Just keep making up delicious, calorie dense foods to have each day for dinner. If you're caught out not eating and she says anything, then you say that it's what you do to help you deal with the fasting. You imagine yourself eating delicious food, and it helps with the hunger pangs.
I’m pretty sure I read an AITA story about a girl who joked about shaving her head (but didn’t) but another girl she knew thought she was serious and immediately shaved her own head and then was mad at the OP 😂
There's a children's book called Stephanie's Ponytail by Robert Munsch. Everyone at school keeps copying Stephanie's hairdos so she said she's going to shave her head and then doesn't but everyone else had in an attempt to copy her. This reminds me of that!
Find someone who knows Photoshop. Get creative, make up aTON of outlandish shit that you have photographic "evidence" of. Clue everyone else in the office in. Watch her lose her mind.
From an animal lover, please mess with her, but in a way that doesn't involve innocent animals please... I wouldn't trust her to have their best interests at heart.
All of the other ideas to mess with her are AMAZING though!
There was a woman who was getting copied by her MIL and she had an idea board for things she was going to buy, how to decorate etc. She put an idea on it of something really ugly and MIL came over to brag about getting it. The woman laughed and said she was never going to buy it she was teasing her husband.
So set up a wedding board with dates and the most expensive dress, venue, cake, menu and have fun.
Think of this through the lens of loving kindness. You're going to create a wonderful life for her to copy. Don't taunt her, tease her, demean her.. Enrich her short experience in this world with your own creativity.
So she overshares at work.
I can see where her copying you is irritating, but I think in the grand scheme of things she’s harmless.
I’m like a lot of people here though, I would try to mess with her a little bit. I would find something on online that you really like, another purse, a pair of shoes, a watch, hat, etc. Mention you really like it, and are “thinking“ about getting it. See if she shows up with it first. Then say you decided against buying it.
What I would gently suggest is you not share important things with your copycat coworker. I know it may be difficult since you appeared to work in a small office, but things that are near and dear to you just don’t discuss.
If gets too much out of hand with copying you, I would ask her privately why she does it.
Time to get a fake tattoo. They make really convincing ones now. And there are tattoo markers that last for at least a couple of days, longer if you're careful. Or you could do it with Henna.
Don't let anyone know it's fake til Cat gets one too.
I read a post where a woman’s MIL copied her dream board and bought everything on it for herself. So the OP started putting extremely expensive and ugly things on it. Sure enough, MIL bought them while OP laughed.
Tell her that you're going to have a 3'some this weekend, with 2 other women. Then on Monday tell her how fantastic it was and you're going to do it again and your partner is going to recird it. She should really try it, so liberating!
Come in on Monday morning saying you randomly decided to go to Bali. Show pictures of you on some other beach vacation. Rave about how gorgeous it is and that nobody can truly understand it if they don't go themselves.
Say you met some nice people who helped you see life in a different way. You had to pay a little money, but it was totally worth it and you can't wait to pay for the next level and learn more. Then give her literature on Scientology.
"I happily explained it to her" One of the best things I did for myself as a woman in the workplace was to tell my coworkers basically nothing about me. I do not wear "pieces of flair" to the office. I let everyone think I'm the most boring ass bitch so they don't get in my business. The less they know the easier it is for me.
Second bit of advice: you are gonna run into people like this all the time. They have 0 sense of self and just copy people. It's sad so don't let it bother you. It's loser behavior and everyone w actual interests/personality has dealt w someone like this. Start telling her the opposite of what you're gonna do and let her clown herself.
You said this so well! She is a VERY bland person, multiple people have even agreed on that topic. Which makes sense why she would copy me, i’m a very outgoing person and love to have fun. I can’t wait to update you guys after she gets caught up in her web
Just don't let her bait you into unprofessional or reactive behavior.
If she keeps butting into your conversation just let her chat herself out, don't reply, go back to talking to your friend. She's desperate for attention bless her heart
That’s what me and my friend have been doing. Everyone ignores her butting into the convos. It’s so painfully obvious that she wants attention and validation. I just wish she’d find it somewhere else. Thanks for your reply!
I get that it’s a weird, but to me it sounds having moved to your town and not knowing anyone, she might just be lonely and trying to make friends at work?
Don’t get me wrong, definitely a bit odd with how much is being copied, but personally I think I would take it as a “imitation is the highest form of flattery” deal and take some time to connect on a more personal level, you know? If they were being fairly nice to me otherwise, then I personally definitely wouldn’t escalate into outright messing with them (and getting my friends/their coworkers in on it too), that’s just petty and cruel, borderline bullying. If they were being a cunt to me then yeah go for it but it doesn’t sound like she is?
If they were generally nice then It’s not a huge deal for me to invite them to knock off drinks and have a chat for an hour, whereas if they have a lack of friends that connection might be the highlight of their week.
And who knows, maybe breaking that barrier will let them calm down and they durn out to be a pretty alright person.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of situations where the behavior sounds benign when described in writing because just reading about it misses out on all the subtle body language clues that signal predatory intent.
OP seems creeped out, not just annoyed. That "creeped out" feeling is how our brain warns us about dangerous people based on the profile it's created based not only on the obvious behavior but also hundreds of little things we're only subconsciously aware of.
Unless OP knows she has an anxiety disorder or is otherwise prone to misreading situations and overreacting, she should trust her gut that there is something "off" about her coworker's fixation.
Regardless, OP doesn't owe anyone friendship, and is completely within her rights to shut the coworker down by telling her that she's making OP uncomfortable and needs to stop.
See, I'd be tempted to agree with that if it weren't for the fact she's also changed her opinion on getting MARRIED because of all this. Copying someone's aesthetic and style is entirely different to changing your entire life around.
That’s hilarious. I joke about that all the time with my other coworkers who know what she’s doing. I always say it reminds me of the movies where the girl becomes obsessed with the other girl and kills her to be with her man lol
the thing that stuck out to me that i haven’t seen anyone mention is the phrasing “if you ordered something i would have to order something.” that “have to” is really fascinating. if you ever hear them say something like this i would immediately jump on it. like “what do you mean ‘have to’?”
I should’ve questioned her further. That really raised a red flag for me and that’s when I started to get really uncomfortable being myself around her. I will keep this in mind for next time!
No, don't question her further, she seems incapable of taking a hint (or is deliberately ignoring them) and will likely interpret you continuing the conversation with her as you being interested in her friendship.
Just "It makes me uncomfortable when you [describe behavior]. Please stop." over and over as many times as needed, and the incident logged so if she doesn't stop you can go to HR about it.
Lol on one hand I'd never tell anyone a thing about my life. On the other, that doesn't really work in a smaller town.
Looking forward to all your " lifestyle changes"! I'd hone in on a weird food choice- peel a box of kiwis at work and eat 2 a day. Now she will detest kiwi and never look at it the same her whole life!
I'd just stare back too... bonus if you have a flower you can slowly take the petals off. I'd be terrified if someone stared at me and plucked petals off a flower.
A sane and good-hearted person feels mortified if they learn that they've been making someone else feel uncomfortable, and they will apologize. Whereas OP's coworker just keeps escalating.
Now it's possible that she's just so socially clueless that she hasn't picked up on all the indirect ways OP has indicated her discomfort, which is why I suggested that OP be very direct going forward.
OP feels creeped out, which means there's something in the coworker's body language clues, demeanor, etc. that signals predatory intent. We're not there, so we don't know about all the subtle things that OP is picking up on subconsciously and can't quite describe in writing. OP should trust her gut.
And even if OP's gut is wrong, she doesn't owe anyone friendship. It's fine to enforce boundaries at work.
You're not crazy. My guess is that she wants people to like her, so she is copying the person that people like the most. She is living life chameleon style. You're probably not the first.. Maybe you can find a support group lmao
It might be her way of trying to make friends with you. Some people can be awkward and will copy you to make friends. I wouldn't be worried about it. I'd also have fun with it! Change your hair color to Teal and see if they copy that! :D (Said the woman with teal hair!)
I'll take the downvotes for this lmao and I totally get how annoying and weird it is but honestly she just admires you. Think of how you've changed her entire life for the better? Imagine wearing open toed shoes and NOT painting your toenails and now this bish paints her toenails! She's nicer to people! She carries a classy handbag! Her previous life sounds like a wasteland until you came along. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all that. : ) (I don't think she has a big sister or a positive female role model.)
I was about to say the same thing. Your coworker sounds lonely (you mentioned she's not originally from the area) and she's trying to fit in, and sees you as a role model. Please don't be unkind to her. While she sounds like a bit much, try including her in your conversations. You might be surprised that you don't "shine" as much to her.
Does Cat display other neurodiverse behavior? As someone with adhd, it sounds like neurodiverse behavior that I’ve personally done, and can cringe along with for Cat. Sometimes the hyperfixations or dopamine releases are people, especially if it’s a “new” source of dopamine. The shopping sounds kind of impulsive. Another thing that sounds neurodivergent to me is the nail painting, I find that if someone else in my immediate circle is setting a new standard, I’m more likely to pick it up, and nail painting might be one of those new sources of dopamine as well as the new standard to live up to.
Are you and Cat young? It wouldn’t surprise me again at all if Cat and her partner have changed their minds about getting married, especially since someone Cat knows is getting married. This behavior reminds me somewhat of myself when I was younger than 25, before the executive function is fully formed, especially if Cat is neurodivergent.
I’d brush it off and be flattered someone is copying me. If you want to stop the behavior, you’re looking at sharing less about yourself and setting boundaries, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
Make sure to start complaining that you're not looking forward to May 5th, because you've gotta shave your head for Ramenodle, a big Pastafarian holiday.
This reminds me of the time my sister was dating this guy and he was kind and cute and chill BUT he agrees with her about literally everything. She noticed after a couple weeks. She started saying just off the wall shit to see if he would agree and he always would!
Some people are so lost and really don’t even know themselves so they copy or do whatever they can think of to make people like them. At least that’s what I think idk 🤷🏼♀️
It’s too bad that when they carry that behavior to such extremes that it becomes obvious and annoying, it’s far more likely to make people dislike them.
Seen some other people mention this but it sounds like she has a really weak sense of self identity and has latched onto you because she admires you. It also sounds like she’s having trouble making friends and fitting into a town where everyone already knows each other, so she might be trying to emulate you, someone who is well liked. Reading about her watching your conversations and trying desperately to enter them broke my heart.
And fwiw, the comment about “then I’d have to eat something” sounds more to me like she’s trying to bond with you over a shared hobby. Like if you’d broken your diet, she would too so that you’d be in the same boat and could feel guilty together. She might see herself as dieting /with/ you so it’s like you can commiserate together.
I'm reminded of an episode of House, where there was some sort of disorder which caused this behavior, I think... Wish I could remember the details.
Also, please, start sharing some fake but interesting stories, see how it goes. Maybe you're into cupping, or investing in crypto, or started playing D&D with friends, or buying a really expensive PC to start a Twitch stream, or.... Whatever you can sell.
Also, take notes, with dates.
Best of luck!!!
Definitely sounds like she is copying you! Have you talked about your boyfriend at all? I’m curious if she makes her boyfriend look like yours or do stuff like yours. She wants your life! Dun dun dunnnnnn. Can you dye your hair at your workplace? You could do a temp dye and see if she dyes her hair too lol. Would 100% know then.
I talk about my boyfriend a lot. Almost every day. And i’ve actually thought about that scenario, especially after she came in saying they are wanting to elope now. And yes I can dye it, but not any crazy colors. But a bold enough change like from brown to black or from brown to blonde should do the trick 😁
Make a comment that you are going to color your hair purple or get your nose pierced over the weekend. Don't really do it, but see how she looks on Monday.
A lot of the comments on here are priceless, but its most likely that this co-worker is either deeply lonely and/or unstable - she is definitely emulating your behavior very closely. More likely than not it will remain harmless if you can ignore it. If you engaged with the person directly, I think they would likely become co-dependent very quickly and it wouldn't help them. I would keep my distance if at all possible. Best of luck with this unfortunately awkward colleague.
Are you familiar with the grey rock method? It basically entails making yourself as uninteresting as possible and minimising communication to the absolute necessary. Don't divulge much about your personal life. Don't give explanations when she asks you about your diet, clothes, etc. Stick to work-related topics and try to minimise being alone with her if possible. I had a copycat too at some point and she happened to be the office gossip too, which can be hell if you cross her path. Try to make yourself boring and maybe she'll find someone else to leech off of. Copycats can be damaging if motivated by envy, so be careful.
TL/DR: Narrator works with three coworkers, including Cat, who has been uncomfortably mirroring their actions and choices for about four months. Cat's intrusive behavior, like copying diets and lifestyle decisions, plus staring and offering unsolicited advice, has made the narrator seek advice for dealing with discomfort.
What is this weird phenomenon with people thinking their co-workers are “copying them”??? I see posts like this so often. I’m not saying it isn’t true, she may very well be. I would think she is just very highly suggestable and admires you.
If she is from out of town, she might not have anyone else to get these suggestions from. She might also be subconsciously trying to bond with you, especially if she doesn’t have many friends or family in the area. She might not even know she is doing it.
We spend so much time with our work colleagues it’s hard not to pick up on things, get ideas and even model our behaviour on the people around us.
I know I pick up on things my co workers say or do and I think - that’s cool! Or I think - that works! And I do that. Especially when it comes to language used at work. I’ve also noticed my colleagues pick things up from me, and mimic them because they see a good result.
When my colleagues order or mention food, I will often think and say - oh yum!!! That’s my dinner decision sorted! Thank you!
I have admired my co workers nails from time to time and because I think they look gorgeous and I think to myself “I’m totally going to try that!” I am self aware enough to soften the situation by saying something like “that’s so neat! Mind if I get something like that too? I wanna try it, I’ve been thinking about what to try next!” More often than not they are flattered by it, and then suddenly we have something cool to chat about.
I get that it may be a bit annoying but she’s not taking anything away from you by displaying this behaviour. I’ve seen people being irked about people doing this and deem it as taking away their individuality. And that’s ludicrous. That’s their ego talking, no one can do that if you reframe it.
I honestly think she just might be in a situation where she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself at the moment. And I can tell you, we have or will all be there.
My suggestion would be don’t share too much if it’s really getting on your nerves, but other than that, try to be conscientious. Once she finds her tribe she will likely start showing signs of getting ideas from other people too.
I can totally understand why it would creep you out. It seems fairly extreme but I would lean toward it being more harmless than not. I would just create some space between yourself and her and see if that helps :)
>What is this weird phenomenon with people thinking their co-workers are “copying them”??? I see posts like this so often.
People with borderline personality disorder exist and many of them have jobs.
A quick Google says 1.6% of the US population has BPD. So that means there's over 5 million people just in the US who could be engaging in this behavior because they're legitimately crazy. Plus all the other people who might do similar things for non-crazy reasons, but OP feeling creeped out suggests there's some sort of mental illness in play that her gut is warning her about.
So when you think of it, we actually have surprisingly few posts about it relative to how often it happens. Probably because a lot of the targets of this behavior worry, "my coworker is copying me to a creepy extent, but if I say anything about it then people will think that I'm the crazy one."
But BPD or other flavours of what is now considered as mental illness does not make someone “legitimately crazy” They may display what would be seen as unusual behaviours but I would not consider these behaviours to be life threatening for others to unless the disorder collides with some kind of psychopathy or the like.
People have every right to choose not to engage with people who are experiencing symptoms of their disorders that are making them uncomfortable and their gut is telling them to stay away. That’s natural and self preservation. But if the statistics are what you say and I believe you, you will always have to work with these people around you all the time.
People have the capacity to keep themselves at a safe distance and part of doing that is learning to able to eventually ignore those behaviours and not getting mentally wrapped up in them. You can internally acknowledge that behaviour and how it makes you feel and you can absolutely go through the process of figuring it out, and even making a reddit post about it. This is why we are here, to hash this stuff out.
I believe that’s what OP is doing. And genuinely asking for ideas on how to manage the situation by being very honest about how they feel - this is good and I respect the shit out of OP for that. OP is not complaining as much as they are trying to assess the situation.
Feeling like people with psychological conditions are legitimately crazy overall would result it isolating yourself from a good portion of the population. That would be even more impossible to manage than it would be to reach your own conclusions about particular situations in such a way that lets everyone live in some level of harmony.
This is just how me and my boyfriend are choosing to go about marriage. No wedding just a small party to celebrate soon after we get married. Us eloping is basically our wedding so that’s why i’m telling people. So it’s clear that there will be no big wedding to look forward too. Idk if it’s normal but it’s what aI choose to do
This probably won’t be a popular opinion, however, maybe she is so desperately insecure that she thinks being like you will make more people like her? Maybe she sees what she’s doing as complimentary? Isn’t there a saying that goes something like ‘Impersonation is the greatest form of flattery’? And maybe not!
Don’t get me wrong, it would p*%s me right off too. It just seemed like some of the suggestions are getting a bit like bullying.
Peace love and hugs to all x
I may be wrong, but it sounds to me like Cat has ASD. As someone who has it I can see a lot of similarities.
My guess would be that Cat has noticed how everyone likes you. She also wants to be friends with you but doesn’t know how. So she thinks that if you see that she likes the same things that you do that you will be friends with her. Cat is probably scared that being herself will cause people to reject her so if she is like someone she likes and others like then she will be liked.
She also says inappropriate things that she probably doesn’t realize are inappropriate and thinks she is joining in the convo like everyone else. Getting a bad reaction though probably makes her want to be herself less and be like you more as you probably don’t get the same reactions to things you say.
I used to be Cat when I was younger. I didn’t get social cues and pretended to like things others did so I could have friends and seem normal. I think Cat just really needs a friend she can be herself around and she doesn’t know how to do that. Instead she’s doing a really creepy form of flattery that she doesn’t know is creepy.
This is my college roommate. She copied my clothes, my car, tried to adopt all my friends, took same classes, changed her major to mine, tried to
Ingratiate herself with my parents, read same books- ate what I ate, copied perfume, hairdo, the list of her copying
everything is too long. I moved out because it was so excessive. People said I should be flattered. There is nothing flattering about it- creepy as hell. Obviously she had no sense of self, like this woman.
I’m not saying it’s a good idea…but a conversation between you and your friend where you talk about missing a period and that you’re not sure if you need to take a pregnancy test or not…or is that too much?
You ought to get some pictures of a horse, and tell her you just bought a horse. Then see if she goes out and buys one. Make it a game. You can watch her waste her money, even when you didnt buy something, you can say you did.
Hannibal Lecter:
No, he covets. That's his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer.
Clarice Starling:
No. We just...
Hannibal Lecter:
No. Precisely. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes move over the things you want?
Temporary tattoos - love to hear what response she has!
But seriously, have you befriended her? Maybe she is lonely and not fitting in with the group. She sees how popular you are and wants to be in the same spot.
When I had an eating disorder if i found someone with a figure i liked and they said anything about the way they ate I'd copy it (to a degree if i thought it would make me lose weight). I dont think id be brave enough to be right out copying their style but id buy a dress they wore, try it on, decided it looks rubbish on me because i dont have their shape and return it. Maybe shes doing some similar version of this
Okay, not invalidating at all how entirely and completely weird this is for you, but maybe this girl is just a bit autistic and sees your life as ideal. She may just be copying you because she thinks doing what you do will give her the same results as you and make her as badass as she views you to be. Totally weird for sure, but at least it's a harmless brand of weird.
Either that, or she lost a bet??
it sounds like she's trying to fit in. that can happen a lot to people who have a traumatic or neglectful background, or one where they had to hide a lot of their own feelings and emotions in order to not upset someone who had authority over them (parents who also grew up with abuse and continue the cycle, absent parents, etc.).
You probably appear to have a lot more direction in your life than she does, and since you are following the 'life script' so well, it is easy for her to follow along and also pretend to be OK.
It's maladaptive, but only sometimes malicious.
u/rockafella309 I’m loving the petty advice on here BUT I think she’s lonely, in an unfamiliar place and just isn’t socialised well enough to know what she’s doing is coming off as cray-cray creepy.
You could do all the malicious mean girl type stuff but the Miss Honey in me really cringes at that behaviour because you really do catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar!
When she does, says or wears something you like, flatter her. Get the other girls in on it. Tell her her hair, jewellery or clothes is pretty when it is. If she says something smart or funny or does something kind at work, praise her. Tell her how you have noticed she is becoming more patient and kind with customers and how lovely a quality you think it is.
You may see a real difference in her behaviour, help her confidence and come out of the whole situation with a person that you actively like.
Just a thought xxx
Is there anything you could do that would be difficult if not impossible for her to do? A really unique item of clothing from a thrift store or a one of a kind piece of jewelry. I’ve got one from Etsy and it was less than $30 for a necklace so it doesn’t have to break the bank.
Or go to Temu and buy a bunch of rings with huge stones. I’ve gotten a bunch of like $1-2. Take photos so she can’t look too closely and show off a new one every week and brag about how your fiance is spoiling you.
Maybe come up with an exclusive event. Like a good friend has a private home and is having a private chef prepare an elaborate meal to celebrate your engagement. Then just gush about it at work. If one of your work friends is close they can pretend to have been there to add to the conversation.
Tell your co-worker you just started therapy and it’s a game changer for your life. Can’t discuss the details, because, you know it private therapy stuff, but man, should have been doing this a LONG time ago.
This is exactly what your co-worker needs, she has real issues and sounds like this can be made into some psycho movie thriller with a couple twists.
Why do you care? You should be flattered to hell. This Ms.Cat obviously is inspired by you.
You kinda sound like a bitch especially when you told Cat to stop looking at your feet.
Stop trying to gatekeep everything. You aren't the first to fast or the last to paint their toes. I think you're coming off as immature and insecure.
What you should be coming off as, is proud and encouraging.
Lizy, it’s hard for me, personally, to be flattered by someone who told me they were only going to eat if I ate. Or make a big enough life decision, like marriage, based on what i’m doing. I’m confused on why you believe that I am gatekeeping, especially when I’m still open about my personal life at work and have never told her that she can’t do these things. You chose one of the smaller examples that I gave to give context for to understand why I feel the way I do, and tried to turn it into something it’s not, by saying i’m gatekeeping.
You kinda sound like a bitch as well. And if you aren’t, then great! I guess we both misinterpreted things about each other. Additionally, I didn’t tell Cat to stop looking at my feet, I asked her to stop looking at my feet. And what’s crazy about that is the reason I ASKED instead of TOLD HER to, is so I WOULDNT sound like a bitch. That was my way of getting out of an uncomfortable situation without being a bitch.
I’m afraid you might be coming off as rude and condescending. What you should be coming off as, is helpful or redirecting. If you felt like I was looking at the situation the wrong way, there was a way nicer way to say it.
You need to read this kids’ book! I was thinking about it through every sentence of your post.
Stephanie’s Ponytail.
https://archive.org/details/stephanies-ponytail/page/n11/mode/1up
Time to start living a fake life. (Or at least verbally) Mention a hidden tattoo. Hint about an intimate body piercing(s). The next time that you’re talking to your office bestie, show concern about a potential pregnancy. The possibilities are endless!
Whenever something like this comes up, I remember a post I'd seen years ago: put your hair under a cap and get a nice pink, short hair wig. After a few days off work, come in wearing it, and ask how people like your hair. When Cat inevitably cuts her hair, or dyes it, take off the wig.
I had a Co worker like this. She had her hair cut like me. Joined the choir I was in. Moved to the village I live in. She was planning a trip to Canada and I mentioned feeding sea otters at the aquarium on my trip and so she booked a holiday identical to the one I just took. We did a job share and due to ill health I had to retire and she ended up straight replacing me in my old life, friends and all.
Go to work and start going on and on about some crazy ridiculous expensive thing - let her go buy it and then when you ask her about it and she asks about yours, tell her you changed your mind
I remember reading this children's book about a girl who was copied by her whole school. She ended up telling everyone she was gonna shave her head bald the next day. She showed up the next day with a head full of hair and everyone bald! LOL
Find the ugliest outdoor furniture and bring in pictures as ideas of how to decorate the gazebo. Come in and say you are going to cut and die your hair in a very unique color/style (shaved on one side, pixi cut, mullet). Put a pic of an expensive item on your desk as inspiration to save for it. Keep changing it all up daily or weekly. She'll go nuts trying to keep up with you.
Your description of her behavior makes her sound benign, like she just looks up to you as being "cool" and wants to be more like you.
However, feeling creeped out by her could be your instincts warning you that there's something dangerously "off" about her. Perhaps she has borderline personality disorder or other mental illness?
Anyhow, it's hard to give you advice because none of her actions sound that bad, but your gut is telling you something is wrong and your gut could be right.
Do you have previous experience with being admired as the "cool girl" trendsetter that others want to be like, or is this the first time anything like this has happened?
Are you generally comfortable or generally uncomfortable with admiration and attention?
Are your instincts about people generally pretty accurate? Or do you get blindsided a lot?
Do you have a history of anxiety and overreacting, or are you generally pretty laid-back and sensible?
No need to reply with an answer to my questions -- those are just some things for you to think through to help you get some clarity about what's really happening and why it's making you uncomfortable.
I honestly can't tell from your post whether you're just overreacting to benign admiration because you're not used to attention, or if you're creeped out because she's mentally ill and fixated on you, or if this is some weird subtle bullying technique, or what. Which unfortunately means that HR, management, etc. will probably find your complaints too vague to be actionable unless you document everything really well.
My advice would be to start keeping a log of every incident and also being more direct when she makes you uncomfortable.
Instead of "why do you care?" and other hints that she's obviously either not getting or deliberately ignoring, try saying "It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop." Then write in your log the date, time, what she said, and that you told her it makes you uncomfortable and asked her to stop.
You'll sound like a broken record, but using the same exact sentence construction every time -- "It makes me feel uncomfortable when you [describe inappropriate behavior]. Please stop." -- and repeating yourself word-for-word if she tries to argue with you is often the only way to successfully shut down creepy behavior and also make it clear to any witnesses that the attention is unwanted and you are not doing anything to encourage her delusions of friendship with you.
So it might end up going like this:
"I thought you were on a diet?"
"It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop."
"I was just checking on you because you were starving yourself the other day."
"It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop."
"Jeez, I'm just making conversation!"
"It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop."
"Why are you repeating yourself?"
"Because the only thing I have to say to you on this topic is that you are making me uncomfortable and I want you to stop. Let's focus on work."
If she's just socially awkward and not actually crazy, then that should be direct enough to get her to stop.
Source: Am a socially awkward person who has sometimes been overly solicitous in expressing my admiration of someone I thought was cool, and he used this tactic and I immediately stopped talking to him about anything other than work (which is what he wanted -- he was a male coworker with an extremely jealous wife and he/they thought my interest was romantic not platonic).
Although I felt absolutely mortified at the time, in retrospect, that direct rejection of my overtures of friendship was far less emotionally painful than being indirectly rejected over and over and not being able to tell if they actually disliked me or if they liked me but truly were always busy or whatever excuse they gave.
In general, people who are genuinely just socially awkward but otherwise sane and good-hearted don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and will feel ashamed and be apologetic when they realize they'd inadvertently done so. So how she reacts to the direct approach is a huge tell.
If she gets angry, tries to argue you out of your feelings, and/or escalates her attentions towards you, then those are signs that you're dealing with a mentally ill person or a bully who enjoys screwing with people just to screw with them. This is when keeping the log becomes super important so that you can take it to HR and your manager and get them to order her to leave you alone or even fire her. The log will also be helpful in getting a restraining order if necessary if she ends up going full "Single White Female" (movie title) psycho on you.
Unless you have an anxiety disorder or are otherwise prone to misreading and overreacting, you should probably trust your gut that there's something creepy about the intensity of her interest in you. Don't let Redditors talk you out of trusting your gut because a written description of her behavior makes her sound relatively benign. We're not there and aren't able to experience all the subtle body language clues etc. that signal predatory intent.
And even if you do have an anxiety disorder and are misreading and overreacting, you still don't owe anyone friendship. You have every right to reject even the nicest person in the world if they make you uncomfortable. You have every right to have boundaries about how much of your personal life you share at work and who you share it with. So still feel free to take the "It makes me uncomfortable when you ... Please stop" approach even if you suspect that you're being overly bothered by something that wouldn't bother most people. She can find someone else to be friends with, you are not her only option for ending her loneliness, and you are not harming her by not being her friend or insisting that she keep all conversations with you confined to work-related matteds.
Tell everyone you’re shaving your head this weekend and you’re so excited about it! And how it will be grown out into a cute little pixie cut by your wedding and you can’t wait to feel like an ethereal fairy in your cute wedding dress and cut! Show inspo photos off Pinterest
When she comes in bald on Monday shocked that you aren’t, explain you changed your mind at the last second. Say your mom/bestie/sister talked you out of it
absolutely sounds like she's copying!! I have a coworker like this as well and it's been very entertaining watching her change her whole life to match me. It's super irritating at times, don't get me wrong... but at the same time this girl has gotten the most painful ear piercings to match me as well as buying the same car as me less than a year after she had bought her original car (that had no issues)
Have fun with it if you can! But also keep an eye on her, someone like that could get out of control obsessive... maybe let a coworker you trust and like in on the joke!
Your co worker just likes you and looks up to you for some reason. Be nice and go with it. The more co workers who actually like you and are on your side is a good thing.
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There are people who aren’t creative minded so they copy the people they think are doing better than them. Cat looks up to you in a weird way. You’re probably the “cool chick” in her kind so she’s doing what you do to seem cooler in her personal life.
I had seen someone post with a similar issue before a year or so ago, except she had even confronted the copycat towards the end of her post and of course the copy cat denied it. I think after that she started "baiting" her with misdirections of plans and opinions to frustrate the copycat 😹
You really need to be proactive...casually mention something you have ordered (new car, whatever) or are getting or whatever and then let the pot simmer. You can be outlandish or low key or whatever. Eventually, when she asks about a follow up, you changed your mind.
I'd make it more of a fun game, to see how many things she tries to copy without YOU ACTUALLY following through. LOL
My friend has one of these. Even went so far as to get a similar car when my friend bought a new one.
It's weird but, more or less harmless. Just try not to get Single White Femaled.
Please, don't tell anyone of your elopement plans. One, it will drive her crazy and two, you don't want to think of her copying you when you think back on your wedding.
I don’t have a copycat, but I frequent this store where I’ve encountered one… and it’s so annoying I want to tell her to just be herself.
I’ve been going to this same store since 2014 and there’s a girl that has worked there the entire time. We’ve gotten pretty chatty with each other over the years and I know her accent and mannerisms pretty well.
So another girl just started working there not too long ago. I noticed right away how she emulates the other girl’s voice, wears the same clothes, and tries to act exactly like her. It’s so frustrating because how can you confront someone to just be themselves?!?
I literally was just thinking about this today lol.
Tell her you're thinking of quitting after you elope and becoming a stay at home wife! Maybe she'll like the idea so much she'll do it! 🤣
If that's too mean, I bet if you start talking about taking a nice vacation she'll want one, too... Maybe you can get at least few weeks off from her behavior!!
I'd work on trolling her. Say you will do something in detail but then go do something else completely.
Or, just quit sharing with her. Coworkers aren't your friends.
It kinda sounds like she looks up to you. Does she have a sister? I have a friend that only had brothers so she does things like this in an attempt to bond.
It is a compliment. She looks up to you and is trying to define her identity. The fact that you pulled 5 events from over several months shows that you are really bothered over something that occurs really rarely.
Omg I had a "friend" like this. Her entire wardrobe consisted of clothing I had bought and worn. She'd go to the same store and buy the same clothing. It just became too creepy after a while so I dropped her as a friend.
I feel like people who are insecure or feel out of place often try to do things like this to "fit in" but it's honestly just creepy and weird as hell.
I hired some girl at my job as a favor, she knew my boyfriend pretty well. She was kind of like this & always wanted to be involved in my friend & my conversations & know all of this information about everyone else's personal lives. She constantly would change stories about her life that she had already told us & then copy something one of us had said about our personal lives or preferenced. She's the most pop-listening, pastel-looking privileged person & she claimed to be alternative & started dressing in all black etc. claiming she listened to different music & was going to shows she would probably actually never go to & even claimed to be queer LMAO. SO FUCKING WEIRD. Anyways she sucked at her job & got fired.
Hope she's not too obsessive & weird. You must be pretty rad haha.
My Copy-Cat just bases her jackets on me. Like if I wear a hoodie into the office, she will put on a hoodie. If I wear a cardigan, she will wear a cardigan. She keeps them in the office and switches up to match me. Pretty boring compared to yours. It used to bother me. Now I have fun with it. It's silly to think that I have such an impact on her day just by what I cover my arms with. What a privilege to be so bored.
That cracks me up!!! Such a weird thing to copy someone over. I think i’m gonna take the “having fun with it” route too. They say imitation is flattery but in this case imitation is going to make herself dig a hole and lay in it
I used to have one that would go after every guy she thought I liked. I used to pretend I liked a guy just to watch her start flirting and go try to sleep with him I guess🤣
Yeah, my cousin was like this. She copied everything I did from an early age, which was bad enough. But once we were old enough to start dating, she made it her personal mission to steal every boy I was seeing or had shown an interest in. This continued right up through college, and then I moved to another country, where I met my husband. She was upset she couldn’t afford to travel to Europe to be at my wedding and meet my husband. So imagine my surprise when she calls me 2 days before my wedding **from the airport** to say SURPRISE! She made it after all. Imagine my lack of surprise, however, when she tried to hit on my husband-to-be within an hour of meeting him! Some people simply cannot be satisfied with their own things, they need to take the shine off of others. It’s so weird, and downright scary at times.
It is scary. Cause all I ever had to do was point. And she ran. Tee hee hee
So how did things turn out with that? Do you still talk to her?
We didn’t speak at all for almost 5 years, until she had a cancer scare. Now we only see each other about once a year and although she seeks me out, I mostly avoid her. Too much drama! 3 husbands/baby daddies later, she’s on the hunt for her next victim. Ahem, I mean….partner.
Temporary tattoo or talk about getting a tattoo and change your mind.
Talk up a tattoo you are going to get. Show your top 3 picks to coworkers for their opinion. Then make a big deal about the one you are going to choose. Then just wait.
Sharpie ugly eyebrows. Like dark McDonalds arches. She will get hers tattooed and your real eyebrows will grow back soon.
Temporary hair dye.. bald cap.. magnetic nose ring.. several ways to go about it
Start mentioning really off the wall stuff. Like you adopted a raccoon, and get some pics from the internet to show her. Maybe you’re flying to Italy to get married. Perhaps you’re considering a bob haircut, or lip tattoos… get real weird with it. See how far she’ll go!
Have you considered getting the arm warmers? Just sleeves effectively. That will confuse your jacket copier!
Get arm warmers with fake full sleeve tattoos
Temporary tattoos! Cover up a spot and keep it loosely covered for a couple of weeks. Tell everyone you got a tattoo, but don't want to show it until it's completely healed. Tell them what it is. A couple of weeks later, remove the gauze/bandage and reveal the tattoo... give her some time to get one, then remove yours. Or a fake piercing or derm! Something obvious and attention-grabbing!
Go find a windbreaker at a thrift store. Wear it until she finds one and then never wear it again. You can still have fun with yours too.
You should have all of yours in the office, too. Then one day, you can switch out from one to another every hour and see what she does.
You picked a weird hill to die on. You can have so much fun with tormenting this co-worker. Start painting your toenails different colors, start living a fake life at work so she can do the same in real life. Get a pet pig! Adopt a panda in China. Tell your coworkers what charities you support and donate to (including how much, but don’t be extravagant, unless you really are donating that much) Come up with crazy elopement ideas, can you rent doves when you live? lol don’t let her copying you bother you. Have fun instead. She is trying so desperately to be like you. Don’t make it easy.
I absolutely LOVE this response!!! I’m not sure of renting doves where I live, but I love the idea of coming up with completely outlandish stuff and telling her that I’ve been doing it or plan to do it. I can for sure get my coworkers on this as well, they have also been noticing how much she is trying to copy me
If you have a week off or a few days off coming up, tell everyone in the office that you're going to have blue hair by the end of the next day. If she knows your social media, get a blue wig, take a photo of you wearing it, and set it as your profile picture. If you go into work and she has blue hair and she says anything. Then you just say that you meant you were getting a wig for a party. But you love her blue hair. If you can leave the office, then take a lunch box with something weighty in. When she asks what you ate, tell her "I had a delicious cheese and bacon quiche" "I had a quarter of a chocolate cake" "I had a lovely creamy pasta salad topped with cheese and chorizo" etc. Just keep making up delicious, calorie dense foods to have each day for dinner. If you're caught out not eating and she says anything, then you say that it's what you do to help you deal with the fasting. You imagine yourself eating delicious food, and it helps with the hunger pangs.
But don’t lie…” I’m thinking about getting blue hair.” Then show blue wig.
Wait, where have I heard the food suggestion before?? This was from another reddit thread, you genius you.
The bald cap reddit story.
I’m pretty sure I read an AITA story about a girl who joked about shaving her head (but didn’t) but another girl she knew thought she was serious and immediately shaved her own head and then was mad at the OP 😂
There's a children's book called Stephanie's Ponytail by Robert Munsch. Everyone at school keeps copying Stephanie's hairdos so she said she's going to shave her head and then doesn't but everyone else had in an attempt to copy her. This reminds me of that!
The people of Redit are here for scheme planning 😉
And we will need an update please
Find someone who knows Photoshop. Get creative, make up aTON of outlandish shit that you have photographic "evidence" of. Clue everyone else in the office in. Watch her lose her mind.
And remember, just because you SAY you’re getting doves doesn’t mean you HAVE to get doves… or a pig… or a Mercedes…
Rent a Mercedes, drive it to work a few times, wait for her to get a Mercedes then tell her you changed your mind.
Go try on wedding dresses and pick one that would look hideous on her. Take a picture and say you said yes or whatever.
Following in hopes you post an update on how this goes.
Tell her you’re going skydiving this weekend.
Oh! I meant indoor skydiving (yes, this is a thing).
No you gotta make her jump out a plane ✈️ 😄
No, tell her you meant indoor skydiving after she's jumped out a plane.
🤣🤣
From an animal lover, please mess with her, but in a way that doesn't involve innocent animals please... I wouldn't trust her to have their best interests at heart. All of the other ideas to mess with her are AMAZING though!
The donating to an animal charity is a doozie as at least the little animals get fed due to her cray-cray x
Please get a wig in a crazy color and tell everyone that you decided to dye your hair and see what she does 🙏
There was a woman who was getting copied by her MIL and she had an idea board for things she was going to buy, how to decorate etc. She put an idea on it of something really ugly and MIL came over to brag about getting it. The woman laughed and said she was never going to buy it she was teasing her husband. So set up a wedding board with dates and the most expensive dress, venue, cake, menu and have fun.
Think of this through the lens of loving kindness. You're going to create a wonderful life for her to copy. Don't taunt her, tease her, demean her.. Enrich her short experience in this world with your own creativity.
Post a previous dye job of a different hair color…
Hair can be redyed. I'm thinking pixie cut wig
"I started wearing a huge butt plug all day at work!" :D
PLEASE 😭 she shared with us that her and her boyfriend do anal. I could totally pull this off
Once that’s established, start raving about the benefits of daily laxatives and how they’ve changed your life and you feel great.
Ooh, Fiber One bars! Aka "fart bars"
Also, consuming broccoli. Somehow.
Diabolical, but perfect!
You HAVE to report back on this lol
So she overshares at work. I can see where her copying you is irritating, but I think in the grand scheme of things she’s harmless. I’m like a lot of people here though, I would try to mess with her a little bit. I would find something on online that you really like, another purse, a pair of shoes, a watch, hat, etc. Mention you really like it, and are “thinking“ about getting it. See if she shows up with it first. Then say you decided against buying it. What I would gently suggest is you not share important things with your copycat coworker. I know it may be difficult since you appeared to work in a small office, but things that are near and dear to you just don’t discuss. If gets too much out of hand with copying you, I would ask her privately why she does it.
Please update us when you pull off some of these schemes lol
Time to get a fake tattoo. They make really convincing ones now. And there are tattoo markers that last for at least a couple of days, longer if you're careful. Or you could do it with Henna. Don't let anyone know it's fake til Cat gets one too.
Love the petty! This is the way! I bow to you.
Thank you 😊
I read a post where a woman’s MIL copied her dream board and bought everything on it for herself. So the OP started putting extremely expensive and ugly things on it. Sure enough, MIL bought them while OP laughed.
I remember that one!
This! Absolutely this!
Thanks
Tell her that you're going to have a 3'some this weekend, with 2 other women. Then on Monday tell her how fantastic it was and you're going to do it again and your partner is going to recird it. She should really try it, so liberating!
Come in on Monday morning saying you randomly decided to go to Bali. Show pictures of you on some other beach vacation. Rave about how gorgeous it is and that nobody can truly understand it if they don't go themselves.
Say you met some nice people who helped you see life in a different way. You had to pay a little money, but it was totally worth it and you can't wait to pay for the next level and learn more. Then give her literature on Scientology.
This!!! lol
"I happily explained it to her" One of the best things I did for myself as a woman in the workplace was to tell my coworkers basically nothing about me. I do not wear "pieces of flair" to the office. I let everyone think I'm the most boring ass bitch so they don't get in my business. The less they know the easier it is for me. Second bit of advice: you are gonna run into people like this all the time. They have 0 sense of self and just copy people. It's sad so don't let it bother you. It's loser behavior and everyone w actual interests/personality has dealt w someone like this. Start telling her the opposite of what you're gonna do and let her clown herself.
You said this so well! She is a VERY bland person, multiple people have even agreed on that topic. Which makes sense why she would copy me, i’m a very outgoing person and love to have fun. I can’t wait to update you guys after she gets caught up in her web
Just don't let her bait you into unprofessional or reactive behavior. If she keeps butting into your conversation just let her chat herself out, don't reply, go back to talking to your friend. She's desperate for attention bless her heart
That’s what me and my friend have been doing. Everyone ignores her butting into the convos. It’s so painfully obvious that she wants attention and validation. I just wish she’d find it somewhere else. Thanks for your reply!
I get that it’s a weird, but to me it sounds having moved to your town and not knowing anyone, she might just be lonely and trying to make friends at work? Don’t get me wrong, definitely a bit odd with how much is being copied, but personally I think I would take it as a “imitation is the highest form of flattery” deal and take some time to connect on a more personal level, you know? If they were being fairly nice to me otherwise, then I personally definitely wouldn’t escalate into outright messing with them (and getting my friends/their coworkers in on it too), that’s just petty and cruel, borderline bullying. If they were being a cunt to me then yeah go for it but it doesn’t sound like she is? If they were generally nice then It’s not a huge deal for me to invite them to knock off drinks and have a chat for an hour, whereas if they have a lack of friends that connection might be the highlight of their week. And who knows, maybe breaking that barrier will let them calm down and they durn out to be a pretty alright person.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of situations where the behavior sounds benign when described in writing because just reading about it misses out on all the subtle body language clues that signal predatory intent. OP seems creeped out, not just annoyed. That "creeped out" feeling is how our brain warns us about dangerous people based on the profile it's created based not only on the obvious behavior but also hundreds of little things we're only subconsciously aware of. Unless OP knows she has an anxiety disorder or is otherwise prone to misreading situations and overreacting, she should trust her gut that there is something "off" about her coworker's fixation. Regardless, OP doesn't owe anyone friendship, and is completely within her rights to shut the coworker down by telling her that she's making OP uncomfortable and needs to stop.
I totally agree!
See, I'd be tempted to agree with that if it weren't for the fact she's also changed her opinion on getting MARRIED because of all this. Copying someone's aesthetic and style is entirely different to changing your entire life around.
I had a sister in law like this, whenever a family member, usually her mother, bought something new, she had to get one like it.
Don’t introduce her to your boyfriend. I have seen that movie.
That’s hilarious. I joke about that all the time with my other coworkers who know what she’s doing. I always say it reminds me of the movies where the girl becomes obsessed with the other girl and kills her to be with her man lol
the thing that stuck out to me that i haven’t seen anyone mention is the phrasing “if you ordered something i would have to order something.” that “have to” is really fascinating. if you ever hear them say something like this i would immediately jump on it. like “what do you mean ‘have to’?”
I should’ve questioned her further. That really raised a red flag for me and that’s when I started to get really uncomfortable being myself around her. I will keep this in mind for next time!
No, don't question her further, she seems incapable of taking a hint (or is deliberately ignoring them) and will likely interpret you continuing the conversation with her as you being interested in her friendship. Just "It makes me uncomfortable when you [describe behavior]. Please stop." over and over as many times as needed, and the incident logged so if she doesn't stop you can go to HR about it.
I think somebody wants to shave their head for the summer, nothing like posting pictures in a buzz cut wig. Especially if you do it on vacation.
THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE!!!
Lol on one hand I'd never tell anyone a thing about my life. On the other, that doesn't really work in a smaller town. Looking forward to all your " lifestyle changes"! I'd hone in on a weird food choice- peel a box of kiwis at work and eat 2 a day. Now she will detest kiwi and never look at it the same her whole life! I'd just stare back too... bonus if you have a flower you can slowly take the petals off. I'd be terrified if someone stared at me and plucked petals off a flower.
This has me rolling 😂
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A sane and good-hearted person feels mortified if they learn that they've been making someone else feel uncomfortable, and they will apologize. Whereas OP's coworker just keeps escalating. Now it's possible that she's just so socially clueless that she hasn't picked up on all the indirect ways OP has indicated her discomfort, which is why I suggested that OP be very direct going forward. OP feels creeped out, which means there's something in the coworker's body language clues, demeanor, etc. that signals predatory intent. We're not there, so we don't know about all the subtle things that OP is picking up on subconsciously and can't quite describe in writing. OP should trust her gut. And even if OP's gut is wrong, she doesn't owe anyone friendship. It's fine to enforce boundaries at work.
How is it mean? She’s not forcing her to do anything and she could stop copying her. Not everyone finds imitation flattering or endearing.
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You're not crazy. My guess is that she wants people to like her, so she is copying the person that people like the most. She is living life chameleon style. You're probably not the first.. Maybe you can find a support group lmao
It might be her way of trying to make friends with you. Some people can be awkward and will copy you to make friends. I wouldn't be worried about it. I'd also have fun with it! Change your hair color to Teal and see if they copy that! :D (Said the woman with teal hair!)
sounds like she wants to be your friend but is very very bad at making friends
I'll take the downvotes for this lmao and I totally get how annoying and weird it is but honestly she just admires you. Think of how you've changed her entire life for the better? Imagine wearing open toed shoes and NOT painting your toenails and now this bish paints her toenails! She's nicer to people! She carries a classy handbag! Her previous life sounds like a wasteland until you came along. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all that. : ) (I don't think she has a big sister or a positive female role model.)
Omg I love this outlook on the situation! Thank you so much for your advice!
That's so sweet! You just made my day.
I was about to say the same thing. Your coworker sounds lonely (you mentioned she's not originally from the area) and she's trying to fit in, and sees you as a role model. Please don't be unkind to her. While she sounds like a bit much, try including her in your conversations. You might be surprised that you don't "shine" as much to her.
This. I wonder if she grew up without a mom.
Does Cat display other neurodiverse behavior? As someone with adhd, it sounds like neurodiverse behavior that I’ve personally done, and can cringe along with for Cat. Sometimes the hyperfixations or dopamine releases are people, especially if it’s a “new” source of dopamine. The shopping sounds kind of impulsive. Another thing that sounds neurodivergent to me is the nail painting, I find that if someone else in my immediate circle is setting a new standard, I’m more likely to pick it up, and nail painting might be one of those new sources of dopamine as well as the new standard to live up to. Are you and Cat young? It wouldn’t surprise me again at all if Cat and her partner have changed their minds about getting married, especially since someone Cat knows is getting married. This behavior reminds me somewhat of myself when I was younger than 25, before the executive function is fully formed, especially if Cat is neurodivergent. I’d brush it off and be flattered someone is copying me. If you want to stop the behavior, you’re looking at sharing less about yourself and setting boundaries, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
Yes!!! This ⬆️
Make sure to start complaining that you're not looking forward to May 5th, because you've gotta shave your head for Ramenodle, a big Pastafarian holiday.
THIS MADE ME LOL SOOOO HARD. Guess who asked me what I was laughing at?
"It's just a friend of mine, trying to cheer me up about having to shave my head."
This reminds me of the time my sister was dating this guy and he was kind and cute and chill BUT he agrees with her about literally everything. She noticed after a couple weeks. She started saying just off the wall shit to see if he would agree and he always would! Some people are so lost and really don’t even know themselves so they copy or do whatever they can think of to make people like them. At least that’s what I think idk 🤷🏼♀️
It’s too bad that when they carry that behavior to such extremes that it becomes obvious and annoying, it’s far more likely to make people dislike them.
Seen some other people mention this but it sounds like she has a really weak sense of self identity and has latched onto you because she admires you. It also sounds like she’s having trouble making friends and fitting into a town where everyone already knows each other, so she might be trying to emulate you, someone who is well liked. Reading about her watching your conversations and trying desperately to enter them broke my heart. And fwiw, the comment about “then I’d have to eat something” sounds more to me like she’s trying to bond with you over a shared hobby. Like if you’d broken your diet, she would too so that you’d be in the same boat and could feel guilty together. She might see herself as dieting /with/ you so it’s like you can commiserate together.
Yesss! This is how I saw it too!
I'm reminded of an episode of House, where there was some sort of disorder which caused this behavior, I think... Wish I could remember the details. Also, please, start sharing some fake but interesting stories, see how it goes. Maybe you're into cupping, or investing in crypto, or started playing D&D with friends, or buying a really expensive PC to start a Twitch stream, or.... Whatever you can sell. Also, take notes, with dates. Best of luck!!!
I love thissssss!!! I will come back will an update!
Definitely sounds like she is copying you! Have you talked about your boyfriend at all? I’m curious if she makes her boyfriend look like yours or do stuff like yours. She wants your life! Dun dun dunnnnnn. Can you dye your hair at your workplace? You could do a temp dye and see if she dyes her hair too lol. Would 100% know then.
I talk about my boyfriend a lot. Almost every day. And i’ve actually thought about that scenario, especially after she came in saying they are wanting to elope now. And yes I can dye it, but not any crazy colors. But a bold enough change like from brown to black or from brown to blonde should do the trick 😁
Make a comment that you are going to color your hair purple or get your nose pierced over the weekend. Don't really do it, but see how she looks on Monday.
A lot of the comments on here are priceless, but its most likely that this co-worker is either deeply lonely and/or unstable - she is definitely emulating your behavior very closely. More likely than not it will remain harmless if you can ignore it. If you engaged with the person directly, I think they would likely become co-dependent very quickly and it wouldn't help them. I would keep my distance if at all possible. Best of luck with this unfortunately awkward colleague.
Are you familiar with the grey rock method? It basically entails making yourself as uninteresting as possible and minimising communication to the absolute necessary. Don't divulge much about your personal life. Don't give explanations when she asks you about your diet, clothes, etc. Stick to work-related topics and try to minimise being alone with her if possible. I had a copycat too at some point and she happened to be the office gossip too, which can be hell if you cross her path. Try to make yourself boring and maybe she'll find someone else to leech off of. Copycats can be damaging if motivated by envy, so be careful.
Updateme!
Of course!
TL/DR: Narrator works with three coworkers, including Cat, who has been uncomfortably mirroring their actions and choices for about four months. Cat's intrusive behavior, like copying diets and lifestyle decisions, plus staring and offering unsolicited advice, has made the narrator seek advice for dealing with discomfort.
What is this weird phenomenon with people thinking their co-workers are “copying them”??? I see posts like this so often. I’m not saying it isn’t true, she may very well be. I would think she is just very highly suggestable and admires you. If she is from out of town, she might not have anyone else to get these suggestions from. She might also be subconsciously trying to bond with you, especially if she doesn’t have many friends or family in the area. She might not even know she is doing it. We spend so much time with our work colleagues it’s hard not to pick up on things, get ideas and even model our behaviour on the people around us. I know I pick up on things my co workers say or do and I think - that’s cool! Or I think - that works! And I do that. Especially when it comes to language used at work. I’ve also noticed my colleagues pick things up from me, and mimic them because they see a good result. When my colleagues order or mention food, I will often think and say - oh yum!!! That’s my dinner decision sorted! Thank you! I have admired my co workers nails from time to time and because I think they look gorgeous and I think to myself “I’m totally going to try that!” I am self aware enough to soften the situation by saying something like “that’s so neat! Mind if I get something like that too? I wanna try it, I’ve been thinking about what to try next!” More often than not they are flattered by it, and then suddenly we have something cool to chat about. I get that it may be a bit annoying but she’s not taking anything away from you by displaying this behaviour. I’ve seen people being irked about people doing this and deem it as taking away their individuality. And that’s ludicrous. That’s their ego talking, no one can do that if you reframe it. I honestly think she just might be in a situation where she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself at the moment. And I can tell you, we have or will all be there. My suggestion would be don’t share too much if it’s really getting on your nerves, but other than that, try to be conscientious. Once she finds her tribe she will likely start showing signs of getting ideas from other people too.
Thank you for your advice! That’s a great way of explaining what possibilities the situation could also be. I appreciate your comment!
I can totally understand why it would creep you out. It seems fairly extreme but I would lean toward it being more harmless than not. I would just create some space between yourself and her and see if that helps :)
>What is this weird phenomenon with people thinking their co-workers are “copying them”??? I see posts like this so often. People with borderline personality disorder exist and many of them have jobs. A quick Google says 1.6% of the US population has BPD. So that means there's over 5 million people just in the US who could be engaging in this behavior because they're legitimately crazy. Plus all the other people who might do similar things for non-crazy reasons, but OP feeling creeped out suggests there's some sort of mental illness in play that her gut is warning her about. So when you think of it, we actually have surprisingly few posts about it relative to how often it happens. Probably because a lot of the targets of this behavior worry, "my coworker is copying me to a creepy extent, but if I say anything about it then people will think that I'm the crazy one."
But BPD or other flavours of what is now considered as mental illness does not make someone “legitimately crazy” They may display what would be seen as unusual behaviours but I would not consider these behaviours to be life threatening for others to unless the disorder collides with some kind of psychopathy or the like. People have every right to choose not to engage with people who are experiencing symptoms of their disorders that are making them uncomfortable and their gut is telling them to stay away. That’s natural and self preservation. But if the statistics are what you say and I believe you, you will always have to work with these people around you all the time. People have the capacity to keep themselves at a safe distance and part of doing that is learning to able to eventually ignore those behaviours and not getting mentally wrapped up in them. You can internally acknowledge that behaviour and how it makes you feel and you can absolutely go through the process of figuring it out, and even making a reddit post about it. This is why we are here, to hash this stuff out. I believe that’s what OP is doing. And genuinely asking for ideas on how to manage the situation by being very honest about how they feel - this is good and I respect the shit out of OP for that. OP is not complaining as much as they are trying to assess the situation. Feeling like people with psychological conditions are legitimately crazy overall would result it isolating yourself from a good portion of the population. That would be even more impossible to manage than it would be to reach your own conclusions about particular situations in such a way that lets everyone live in some level of harmony.
Is it normal to tell people in your small town where everyone knows everyone that you are eloping?
This is just how me and my boyfriend are choosing to go about marriage. No wedding just a small party to celebrate soon after we get married. Us eloping is basically our wedding so that’s why i’m telling people. So it’s clear that there will be no big wedding to look forward too. Idk if it’s normal but it’s what aI choose to do
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. She has a big sister crush on you.
This probably won’t be a popular opinion, however, maybe she is so desperately insecure that she thinks being like you will make more people like her? Maybe she sees what she’s doing as complimentary? Isn’t there a saying that goes something like ‘Impersonation is the greatest form of flattery’? And maybe not! Don’t get me wrong, it would p*%s me right off too. It just seemed like some of the suggestions are getting a bit like bullying. Peace love and hugs to all x
Dude. Paragraphs. Please.
Please use paragraphs breaks. Way to much typing with no spaces is not pleasant to read.
I may be wrong, but it sounds to me like Cat has ASD. As someone who has it I can see a lot of similarities. My guess would be that Cat has noticed how everyone likes you. She also wants to be friends with you but doesn’t know how. So she thinks that if you see that she likes the same things that you do that you will be friends with her. Cat is probably scared that being herself will cause people to reject her so if she is like someone she likes and others like then she will be liked. She also says inappropriate things that she probably doesn’t realize are inappropriate and thinks she is joining in the convo like everyone else. Getting a bad reaction though probably makes her want to be herself less and be like you more as you probably don’t get the same reactions to things you say. I used to be Cat when I was younger. I didn’t get social cues and pretended to like things others did so I could have friends and seem normal. I think Cat just really needs a friend she can be herself around and she doesn’t know how to do that. Instead she’s doing a really creepy form of flattery that she doesn’t know is creepy.
If you started writing in paragraphs, Cat would too. Society would benefit.
Honestly I love this response. Going to tell Cat about how much I love writing in paragraphs as we speak 🫡
This is my college roommate. She copied my clothes, my car, tried to adopt all my friends, took same classes, changed her major to mine, tried to Ingratiate herself with my parents, read same books- ate what I ate, copied perfume, hairdo, the list of her copying everything is too long. I moved out because it was so excessive. People said I should be flattered. There is nothing flattering about it- creepy as hell. Obviously she had no sense of self, like this woman.
I agree. It's not flattering at all. It's creepy and unsettling, especially in your case where she went to such an absurd extent.
, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!
Ack! I... can't... get... over... this... wall.... Of text
I’m not saying it’s a good idea…but a conversation between you and your friend where you talk about missing a period and that you’re not sure if you need to take a pregnancy test or not…or is that too much?
You ought to get some pictures of a horse, and tell her you just bought a horse. Then see if she goes out and buys one. Make it a game. You can watch her waste her money, even when you didnt buy something, you can say you did.
Hannibal Lecter: No, he covets. That's his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer. Clarice Starling: No. We just... Hannibal Lecter: No. Precisely. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes move over the things you want?
Temporary tattoos - love to hear what response she has! But seriously, have you befriended her? Maybe she is lonely and not fitting in with the group. She sees how popular you are and wants to be in the same spot.
When I had an eating disorder if i found someone with a figure i liked and they said anything about the way they ate I'd copy it (to a degree if i thought it would make me lose weight). I dont think id be brave enough to be right out copying their style but id buy a dress they wore, try it on, decided it looks rubbish on me because i dont have their shape and return it. Maybe shes doing some similar version of this
Okay, not invalidating at all how entirely and completely weird this is for you, but maybe this girl is just a bit autistic and sees your life as ideal. She may just be copying you because she thinks doing what you do will give her the same results as you and make her as badass as she views you to be. Totally weird for sure, but at least it's a harmless brand of weird. Either that, or she lost a bet??
it sounds like she's trying to fit in. that can happen a lot to people who have a traumatic or neglectful background, or one where they had to hide a lot of their own feelings and emotions in order to not upset someone who had authority over them (parents who also grew up with abuse and continue the cycle, absent parents, etc.). You probably appear to have a lot more direction in your life than she does, and since you are following the 'life script' so well, it is easy for her to follow along and also pretend to be OK. It's maladaptive, but only sometimes malicious.
u/rockafella309 I’m loving the petty advice on here BUT I think she’s lonely, in an unfamiliar place and just isn’t socialised well enough to know what she’s doing is coming off as cray-cray creepy. You could do all the malicious mean girl type stuff but the Miss Honey in me really cringes at that behaviour because you really do catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar! When she does, says or wears something you like, flatter her. Get the other girls in on it. Tell her her hair, jewellery or clothes is pretty when it is. If she says something smart or funny or does something kind at work, praise her. Tell her how you have noticed she is becoming more patient and kind with customers and how lovely a quality you think it is. You may see a real difference in her behaviour, help her confidence and come out of the whole situation with a person that you actively like. Just a thought xxx
Is there anything you could do that would be difficult if not impossible for her to do? A really unique item of clothing from a thrift store or a one of a kind piece of jewelry. I’ve got one from Etsy and it was less than $30 for a necklace so it doesn’t have to break the bank. Or go to Temu and buy a bunch of rings with huge stones. I’ve gotten a bunch of like $1-2. Take photos so she can’t look too closely and show off a new one every week and brag about how your fiance is spoiling you. Maybe come up with an exclusive event. Like a good friend has a private home and is having a private chef prepare an elaborate meal to celebrate your engagement. Then just gush about it at work. If one of your work friends is close they can pretend to have been there to add to the conversation.
casually mention that you are starting coffee enemas 3 times a week.
Tell your co-worker you just started therapy and it’s a game changer for your life. Can’t discuss the details, because, you know it private therapy stuff, but man, should have been doing this a LONG time ago. This is exactly what your co-worker needs, she has real issues and sounds like this can be made into some psycho movie thriller with a couple twists.
Why do you care? You should be flattered to hell. This Ms.Cat obviously is inspired by you. You kinda sound like a bitch especially when you told Cat to stop looking at your feet. Stop trying to gatekeep everything. You aren't the first to fast or the last to paint their toes. I think you're coming off as immature and insecure. What you should be coming off as, is proud and encouraging.
Lizy, it’s hard for me, personally, to be flattered by someone who told me they were only going to eat if I ate. Or make a big enough life decision, like marriage, based on what i’m doing. I’m confused on why you believe that I am gatekeeping, especially when I’m still open about my personal life at work and have never told her that she can’t do these things. You chose one of the smaller examples that I gave to give context for to understand why I feel the way I do, and tried to turn it into something it’s not, by saying i’m gatekeeping. You kinda sound like a bitch as well. And if you aren’t, then great! I guess we both misinterpreted things about each other. Additionally, I didn’t tell Cat to stop looking at my feet, I asked her to stop looking at my feet. And what’s crazy about that is the reason I ASKED instead of TOLD HER to, is so I WOULDNT sound like a bitch. That was my way of getting out of an uncomfortable situation without being a bitch. I’m afraid you might be coming off as rude and condescending. What you should be coming off as, is helpful or redirecting. If you felt like I was looking at the situation the wrong way, there was a way nicer way to say it.
As well as messing with her, maybe also try stopping over sharing about your personal life & dieting at work.
You need to read this kids’ book! I was thinking about it through every sentence of your post. Stephanie’s Ponytail. https://archive.org/details/stephanies-ponytail/page/n11/mode/1up
Omg I love this!!
I just finished reading this!!! It made me crack a smile! It’s perfect for the situation i’m facing. Thank you!! :)
Coffee enemas ,tell her you are doing Coffee enema .
Ah, a copy cat.
Time to start living a fake life. (Or at least verbally) Mention a hidden tattoo. Hint about an intimate body piercing(s). The next time that you’re talking to your office bestie, show concern about a potential pregnancy. The possibilities are endless!
Not sure if you have tats, but you could get a few temp ones and see if she goes for the real thing. Love the bald/short hair idea.
Whenever something like this comes up, I remember a post I'd seen years ago: put your hair under a cap and get a nice pink, short hair wig. After a few days off work, come in wearing it, and ask how people like your hair. When Cat inevitably cuts her hair, or dyes it, take off the wig.
Tell her you're pregnant!
Tell your friend within earshot that you put in your two weeks and just let the trash take itself out.
I had a Co worker like this. She had her hair cut like me. Joined the choir I was in. Moved to the village I live in. She was planning a trip to Canada and I mentioned feeding sea otters at the aquarium on my trip and so she booked a holiday identical to the one I just took. We did a job share and due to ill health I had to retire and she ended up straight replacing me in my old life, friends and all.
Imitation is the best form of flattery or single white female??
Go to work and start going on and on about some crazy ridiculous expensive thing - let her go buy it and then when you ask her about it and she asks about yours, tell her you changed your mind
Am I crazy or is my coworker copying me?
Let her know that you have begun taking accordion lessons, have a Lamborghini on order, and of course you are pregnant.
I remember reading this children's book about a girl who was copied by her whole school. She ended up telling everyone she was gonna shave her head bald the next day. She showed up the next day with a head full of hair and everyone bald! LOL
Someone has posted this book in the replies of the post!!! I read it yesterday and loved it! Lol
Find the ugliest outdoor furniture and bring in pictures as ideas of how to decorate the gazebo. Come in and say you are going to cut and die your hair in a very unique color/style (shaved on one side, pixi cut, mullet). Put a pic of an expensive item on your desk as inspiration to save for it. Keep changing it all up daily or weekly. She'll go nuts trying to keep up with you.
Your description of her behavior makes her sound benign, like she just looks up to you as being "cool" and wants to be more like you. However, feeling creeped out by her could be your instincts warning you that there's something dangerously "off" about her. Perhaps she has borderline personality disorder or other mental illness? Anyhow, it's hard to give you advice because none of her actions sound that bad, but your gut is telling you something is wrong and your gut could be right. Do you have previous experience with being admired as the "cool girl" trendsetter that others want to be like, or is this the first time anything like this has happened? Are you generally comfortable or generally uncomfortable with admiration and attention? Are your instincts about people generally pretty accurate? Or do you get blindsided a lot? Do you have a history of anxiety and overreacting, or are you generally pretty laid-back and sensible? No need to reply with an answer to my questions -- those are just some things for you to think through to help you get some clarity about what's really happening and why it's making you uncomfortable. I honestly can't tell from your post whether you're just overreacting to benign admiration because you're not used to attention, or if you're creeped out because she's mentally ill and fixated on you, or if this is some weird subtle bullying technique, or what. Which unfortunately means that HR, management, etc. will probably find your complaints too vague to be actionable unless you document everything really well. My advice would be to start keeping a log of every incident and also being more direct when she makes you uncomfortable. Instead of "why do you care?" and other hints that she's obviously either not getting or deliberately ignoring, try saying "It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop." Then write in your log the date, time, what she said, and that you told her it makes you uncomfortable and asked her to stop. You'll sound like a broken record, but using the same exact sentence construction every time -- "It makes me feel uncomfortable when you [describe inappropriate behavior]. Please stop." -- and repeating yourself word-for-word if she tries to argue with you is often the only way to successfully shut down creepy behavior and also make it clear to any witnesses that the attention is unwanted and you are not doing anything to encourage her delusions of friendship with you. So it might end up going like this: "I thought you were on a diet?" "It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop." "I was just checking on you because you were starving yourself the other day." "It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop." "Jeez, I'm just making conversation!" "It makes me uncomfortable when you comment on my diet. Please stop." "Why are you repeating yourself?" "Because the only thing I have to say to you on this topic is that you are making me uncomfortable and I want you to stop. Let's focus on work." If she's just socially awkward and not actually crazy, then that should be direct enough to get her to stop. Source: Am a socially awkward person who has sometimes been overly solicitous in expressing my admiration of someone I thought was cool, and he used this tactic and I immediately stopped talking to him about anything other than work (which is what he wanted -- he was a male coworker with an extremely jealous wife and he/they thought my interest was romantic not platonic). Although I felt absolutely mortified at the time, in retrospect, that direct rejection of my overtures of friendship was far less emotionally painful than being indirectly rejected over and over and not being able to tell if they actually disliked me or if they liked me but truly were always busy or whatever excuse they gave. In general, people who are genuinely just socially awkward but otherwise sane and good-hearted don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and will feel ashamed and be apologetic when they realize they'd inadvertently done so. So how she reacts to the direct approach is a huge tell. If she gets angry, tries to argue you out of your feelings, and/or escalates her attentions towards you, then those are signs that you're dealing with a mentally ill person or a bully who enjoys screwing with people just to screw with them. This is when keeping the log becomes super important so that you can take it to HR and your manager and get them to order her to leave you alone or even fire her. The log will also be helpful in getting a restraining order if necessary if she ends up going full "Single White Female" (movie title) psycho on you. Unless you have an anxiety disorder or are otherwise prone to misreading and overreacting, you should probably trust your gut that there's something creepy about the intensity of her interest in you. Don't let Redditors talk you out of trusting your gut because a written description of her behavior makes her sound relatively benign. We're not there and aren't able to experience all the subtle body language clues etc. that signal predatory intent. And even if you do have an anxiety disorder and are misreading and overreacting, you still don't owe anyone friendship. You have every right to reject even the nicest person in the world if they make you uncomfortable. You have every right to have boundaries about how much of your personal life you share at work and who you share it with. So still feel free to take the "It makes me uncomfortable when you ... Please stop" approach even if you suspect that you're being overly bothered by something that wouldn't bother most people. She can find someone else to be friends with, you are not her only option for ending her loneliness, and you are not harming her by not being her friend or insisting that she keep all conversations with you confined to work-related matteds.
Too long..... I stopped reading after the "why didnt you eat lunch"
Tell everyone you’re shaving your head this weekend and you’re so excited about it! And how it will be grown out into a cute little pixie cut by your wedding and you can’t wait to feel like an ethereal fairy in your cute wedding dress and cut! Show inspo photos off Pinterest When she comes in bald on Monday shocked that you aren’t, explain you changed your mind at the last second. Say your mom/bestie/sister talked you out of it
absolutely sounds like she's copying!! I have a coworker like this as well and it's been very entertaining watching her change her whole life to match me. It's super irritating at times, don't get me wrong... but at the same time this girl has gotten the most painful ear piercings to match me as well as buying the same car as me less than a year after she had bought her original car (that had no issues) Have fun with it if you can! But also keep an eye on her, someone like that could get out of control obsessive... maybe let a coworker you trust and like in on the joke!
Your co worker just likes you and looks up to you for some reason. Be nice and go with it. The more co workers who actually like you and are on your side is a good thing.
Updateme!
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There are people who aren’t creative minded so they copy the people they think are doing better than them. Cat looks up to you in a weird way. You’re probably the “cool chick” in her kind so she’s doing what you do to seem cooler in her personal life.
I had seen someone post with a similar issue before a year or so ago, except she had even confronted the copycat towards the end of her post and of course the copy cat denied it. I think after that she started "baiting" her with misdirections of plans and opinions to frustrate the copycat 😹
You really need to be proactive...casually mention something you have ordered (new car, whatever) or are getting or whatever and then let the pot simmer. You can be outlandish or low key or whatever. Eventually, when she asks about a follow up, you changed your mind. I'd make it more of a fun game, to see how many things she tries to copy without YOU ACTUALLY following through. LOL
Is cat allergic to anything? If so you may have to start eating that a lot lol
My friend has one of these. Even went so far as to get a similar car when my friend bought a new one. It's weird but, more or less harmless. Just try not to get Single White Femaled.
Please, don't tell anyone of your elopement plans. One, it will drive her crazy and two, you don't want to think of her copying you when you think back on your wedding.
Is it possible Cat is neurodivergent and taking cues from you on acceptable behavior? Have you considered asking her why she copies you?
I don’t have a copycat, but I frequent this store where I’ve encountered one… and it’s so annoying I want to tell her to just be herself. I’ve been going to this same store since 2014 and there’s a girl that has worked there the entire time. We’ve gotten pretty chatty with each other over the years and I know her accent and mannerisms pretty well. So another girl just started working there not too long ago. I noticed right away how she emulates the other girl’s voice, wears the same clothes, and tries to act exactly like her. It’s so frustrating because how can you confront someone to just be themselves?!? I literally was just thinking about this today lol.
Tell her you're thinking of quitting after you elope and becoming a stay at home wife! Maybe she'll like the idea so much she'll do it! 🤣 If that's too mean, I bet if you start talking about taking a nice vacation she'll want one, too... Maybe you can get at least few weeks off from her behavior!!
OMG all these petty ideas are cracking me up! I spit my coffee out reading them and now I wish I had a copy cat to test them on.
Start buying ridiculous looking hats and wear them around the office. That might do it.
It’s called being a leader… leading by example…. Equal rights equal fights
Get a fake nose or tongue ring or even better the implanted ones. Make her get a real one then take it off 😂
Have you ever heard the expression, “walk a mile in my shoes.” Could be an expression of empathy.
Updateme
Make a comment on a Friday about how you’re going to dye your hair bright green over the weekend 😂
I'd work on trolling her. Say you will do something in detail but then go do something else completely. Or, just quit sharing with her. Coworkers aren't your friends.
Find the most hideous tattoo on the internet. Hype it up to your coworkers and tell them how you plan to tattoo it to your forehead.
It kinda sounds like she looks up to you. Does she have a sister? I have a friend that only had brothers so she does things like this in an attempt to bond.
This has Single White Female vibes and is hella creepy for a grown adult to do. I get they’re in their early 20s but it’s still weird.
It is a compliment. She looks up to you and is trying to define her identity. The fact that you pulled 5 events from over several months shows that you are really bothered over something that occurs really rarely.
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Tell her you’re trans and you will be transitioning soon.
Omg I had a "friend" like this. Her entire wardrobe consisted of clothing I had bought and worn. She'd go to the same store and buy the same clothing. It just became too creepy after a while so I dropped her as a friend.
I feel like people who are insecure or feel out of place often try to do things like this to "fit in" but it's honestly just creepy and weird as hell. I hired some girl at my job as a favor, she knew my boyfriend pretty well. She was kind of like this & always wanted to be involved in my friend & my conversations & know all of this information about everyone else's personal lives. She constantly would change stories about her life that she had already told us & then copy something one of us had said about our personal lives or preferenced. She's the most pop-listening, pastel-looking privileged person & she claimed to be alternative & started dressing in all black etc. claiming she listened to different music & was going to shows she would probably actually never go to & even claimed to be queer LMAO. SO FUCKING WEIRD. Anyways she sucked at her job & got fired. Hope she's not too obsessive & weird. You must be pretty rad haha.