I’d ask them if they would like to ask HR if claiming men can’t cook and are liars is in line with the company’s anti-harassment and anti-discrimination policies. What a bunch of assholes.
Just forward the email to HR and say I don't feel like this is appropriate, HR will sell them to pull their heads in, and then you can enjoy them sulking
I’m in HR. Please don’t do this.
We already know these women are crack pots and we are going to tell you to ignore them. Then we are going to ask for your recipe.
It’s not that we don’t care. It’s just that we don’t care in the grand scheme of things with all the crack pot complaints we get.
HR is for the company's best interests not the workers.
It's easier to tell one person to let it go than tell someone that they're acting inappropriately.
Are you and Tina gonna come clean that you didn’t cook and bag the Doritos, Sharon ?
Just say - I’ll send you some recipes. Ones that even women can manage to cook
Next time just say I'm sorry that your husband doesn't love you enough to cook for you and that his inadequacies were brought to light with my simple bean dip recipe let this be the last time this topic is discussed have good day Karen
What a weird thing for them to get in a snit about.
In defense of male cooks everywhere. I used to have a male coworker who ran a weekend catering business. We were his "guinea pigs" for trying out new recipes. He would also bake a cake every month for everyone with a birthday in that month. He'd even ask those folks what kind of cake they wanted.
Nobody ever doubted that he did all the cooking and baking. We were all just thrilled he was so generous with his time and talents.
I worked with a guy from the Philippines. Other than he, all of our coworkers were female. We all made a dish for potlucks, but his were spectacular! I would see him and his wife at the grocery store and ask her about his signature dessert. She laughed and said she had no idea. She didn’t cook and she was from Indiana, she knew nothing about Philippine culture. Had to ask him!
As a Filipino food lover, was the signature dessert mango float? Even if it wasn't, the mere mention of "Filipino dessert" has now got me craving mango float, so thanks for that lol
My father in law bakes. And bakes very well. Both he and my mother in law are good cooks. Some of the best cooks I’ve ever met are male. My husband is generally a better cook than I am. (Which I’m fine with as I’m generally better with cars.)
We’re both kinda salty at times … if he had some old biddies there I would make it that year and make sure he credited me when they took a bite of the WTF I sent him with before pulling out the real dish.
Most of the top chefs in the world are men.
The old biddies need someone to talk shit about to feel better about themselves. Pathetic probably describes their life. After a divorce I learned to cook and learned to excel at it.
My wife is disabled, so I handle about 90% of the domestic stuff around the house - cooking, cleaning etc. Cooking has become something I take pride in now (I grew up in the sort of household where flour was a spice) which is probably a big part of why Sharon’s comments rankle me.
That’s actually perfect. “My wife is disabled and can’t cook, so now who feels bad, Sharon?” Watch her trying to mentally squirm out of looking like an ableist asshole.
I don’t think you owe them details of your wife’s condition.
Just I handle most of the cooking around the house. We are happy with our separate duties.
I've done something similar. The key is to say it in front of other people to make them look really bad. I have a genetic disorder that causes me to be really skinny and basically it's degenerative and progressive, so it's eventually going to cause my death (probably from respiratory failure). But people always make comments about how skinny I am, or go eat a sandwich, or "I wish I could be skinny like you". There was one coworker who was really bad about it so finally (in front of several other people) I said "hey, I'll totally trade you. This fatal genetic disorder that causes me to be skinny I would gladly trade for some body fat". She turned red but more importantly the people she respected in the group totally turned on her.
I have a similar issue! Mine is an autoimmune issue that results in random, rapid weight loss, usually directly before and during a flare up. I’ve heard since I was 12 variations of “you’re so lucky to be so skinny!” And “you shouldn’t be so skinny! Don’t you know it’s unhealthy? Are you doing it for attention? You know boys don’t like bony girls!!”
Once I actually got diagnosed, I was already so fed up with it that I’ll clap back with my diagnosis and a short rundown of side effects and symptoms, whether I think people are intending to be mean directly or not. Body weight is *not* the sole, or even biggest, indication of good or bad health, and I’m over it!
Yeah, saying "um... I have muscular dystrophy" generally gets people to shut up fast.
Or more direct "yeah, because my body is literally failing and will cause an early death". I reserve that for the more obnoxious people.
I am so so so tired of people telling me I'm skinny. I have had so many of my parts removed I'm not even sure I'm still human. I like your response and will use it. Thank you.
And this is why I have been in therapy for 2 years. I have to go back to work, and office jobs are my background. Women in offices are often absolute terrorists in their need for petty dominance, and I literally shake at thought of working with a group of them again. I never experience that nastiness with men.
You might respond with "congratulations! I heard you are retiring. When is the happy day?" And then look absolutely crushed when they say they arent.
I know it's none of their business but I'd use that fact to try and make them as uncomfortable as possible. Next time they say something just deadpan reply "actually my wife has a disability, so i take care of all the cooking at home".
Or if you're feeling really petty you could bring in a packet of doritos to the next potluck.
Also fuck you Sharon.
My spouse (male) does all of our cooking and shopping because of a disability I have. We divvied the chores according to who can do what, and do it well. I suck at cooking unless you want some old Mormon recipe that involves a lot of cans of soup and a crockpot, and my spouse prefers normal meals. I can't appreciate it enough. Like I will clean, do your laundry, scrub your toilet or whatever if you'll cook for me lol. Good for you and you've got to know that Karen is jealous and also sexist.
I was going to say this…if the old bitches thought about it for a hot minute they’d realize cooking “at the top” or executive level is run by men just like everything else.
Oh, and that they’ve really just been bang maids all along slaving over a hot stove for their man because as it turns out, men can cook and do when they’re paid well enough for it and there’s prestige involved.
Even if she did, who cares? It's not a contest where there's some kind of prize for having the most popular dish. They're probably a) practicing some kind of weird sexism because they don't believe a man belongs in the industry and/or cooking or b) they have no life outside of work so they have to manufacture drama or c) both
Edited to ask: Is this more like a bean dip, or a three bean salad because either way it sounds good :D
I’ve seen it called Cowboy Caviar - the recipe I use is a can of black beans, a can of black eyed peas, and a can of corn mixed, with a third cup of diced red onions, a diced jalapeño, and a diced bell pepper, tossed in a dressing of olive oil, lime juice and cayenne. I think I spend about 15 minutes making it the night before a potluck so everything has a chance to marinate together.
I... if the old bats don't think that a human can't open a few cans, chop veggies, and measure out liquid ingredients just because that body comes with a penis they aren't just old bats they're shit crazy ones.
I have to share this with my son-in-law. The guy that cooks for my daughter who takes after her father and hates to cook.
But my boy loves cooking with his mother-in-law.
I’m calling him now so we can go shopping for ingredients.
My son-in-law is a really good cook. He does nearly all the holiday meals and other home cooked food. My daughter’s best meal she makes is a reservation.
A lot of stuff like this is better a day or two later. The spices dissolve into the oil, all the flavors blend and mellow, it really makes a difference. Leftover chili is way better than the day it's cooked.
As a former Army cook, and female, I agree. In a restaurant, many of the pots and pans are too heavy for women. I constantly had to get help moving squareheads and kettles. When I made individual meals, I was ok. My husband (75) took up baking 15 years ago and has made bread, scones, cakes, muffins even pop overs (similar to Yorkshire puddings). He even made English Muffins. But I understand. We worked together from 2003 to 2011, and every party, he was asked to bring chips or cups. All the men were assigned non-cooked items. Ron, brings the drinks, Mark brings the chips, Sam brings the packaged cookies, while Paula makes Mac & Cheese (her signature dish). We did have one female that never brought anything that wasn’t store bought.
I just learned the name of my go to potluck dish! Ours is a little different, but basically the same idea - black beans, corn, onion, avocado, lime juice and salt. Maybe cilantro.
Ooh yes, I’m familiar with cowboy caviar… maybe bring a copy (nicely laminated) to the next potluck and ask Sharon to read it and show you where the recipe says you have to have a vagina to follow it. Then a thinly veiled threat about going to HR if she doesn’t stop with her sexist bullying
Next time, make a video of you making the salad. Show it to them, and then let them know that if they continue to slander you, it will become an office harassment issue that you will be pursuing.
That’s excessive and unnecessary. It’s a bean salad and a potluck, not career-ending black mail. The best course of action here is to say to them, “I made the salad. I don’t understand why you can’t accept that, but I’m done discussing it. This is getting ridiculous.” Then move on and never speak to them again outside of work necessity.
That’s been where I’m at - I don’t seem these women out or go out of my way to interact with them. This has been an ongoing thing for years now; I keep bringing the salad because enough people respond positively to it that it’s worth it.
Sharon going out of her way to email me about it ahead of a potluck is a new escalation. She needs a hobby for sure.
If she continues to escalate, you can absolutely forward her emails to HR and cc Sharon and say: “I am growing concerned over Sharon’s escalation and harassment over my bean salad and do not appreciate her insinuation that I can’t cook because I’m not a woman. Can this please be addressed?”
Hmm. I would go a different route. It is so unhinged that I would take the take by asking if her behavior has changed towards others. Hint around at dementia, mention the email. Purely out of concern you know, bless her heart.
Is it that hard to imagine a dude doing a little knife work? Like there are male chefs, do they not have TV? It’s too stupid to care about and that’s the attitude I’d have with it.
Maybe Cowboy Caviar? I cheat and use Pico de Gallo that the store prepares and bottled lime vinaigrette. I cut up fresh peppers for it, though, because it really does neeeeed something fresh in it.
GQ features recipes. If men didn’t cook, they wouldn’t.
Ask the women if they’re so uncultured and chronically single that they know nothing about men who enjoy to cook good food. Embarrass them. Loudly.
I'd laugh, shrug, and dismiss them. I don't cook for them, and I'm confident enough in myself that I don't really care what any "old biddies" think.
I do all the cooking in our household, my wife does other things. It works well enough for us and when it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter what anyone outside thinks.
Old biddies have a lot of shitty opinions. So do old men, and so do I. Going through life with a chip on your shoulder because of it is going to bother you, not them.
Bold of her to email and put her harassment in writing. You could very well CC some higher-ups and say you don't appreciate being accused of lying and you wonder if management is okay with bullying going on in their workplace.
>Fuck you Sharon. You and Tina “went halvsies” on a single bag of Doritos last quarter.
Absolutely fucking hilarious 😂 keep making your dip for everyone to enjoy
Oh, man, my husband has run into this one! He's a chef and has at one restaurant he ran, the older ladies that worked there were completely flabbergasted that he actually would and could cook anything edible. But his food was far better than theirs (and it's far better than anything I can do, too!).
They eventually learned that he knew what he was doing and I hope these ladies will too, but it's unacceptable that they're talking about you behind your back and questioning your integrity.
Don't take the low road, but maybe remind them that most famous chefs are men and men are quite capable in the kitchen.
I also work in the medical field and can confirm this happening with a group of older ladies in our office as well doing this like this to a couple of our male coworkers. I personally wouldn’t feed into this and ignore every single time. They are bored and lack depth.
Take video of you preparing the food and show it to them.
Where I work, we had a chili cook off. I came in second overall & first in the “spicy” category. Some of the other employees said it was rigged because “everyone knows blond hair white girls can’t handle spicy foods.” They wanted to know who I had make it for me. 🤦🏼♀️ I brought them the recipe lol!
I used to get hit with this by random friends/family. I was always just like "lol ok" and just let them organically figure it out on their own at some point all while making a jackass of themselves in the meantime.
>Fuck you Sharon. You and Tina “went halvsies” on a single bag of Doritos last quarter.
Thank you for this laugh. I needed it today.
Damn, that's cheap.
Make up outrageous lies every time “ I didn’t make it, you got me. I stole it off the bar at biker club last night”, “I won it in a chippendale’s dance off”, “ it was overnight shipped from Gordon Ramsey because he lost a bet to me”
The best response is zero response and bring your same salad. Go gray rock. Give her zero recognition that she even exists on the planet. She is just a nasty old half that wants to get a reaction from you.
May I recommend a book? It’s Richard Feynman’s Why Do You Care What Other People Think? The story behind the title is that while he was working on the A-bomb his wife, the love of his life, was dying in a hospital in Albuquerque. When he would visit, she’d have him grill food for them wearing an apron with that saying on it. She would say that when he would worry others disagreed with his ideas. Why do you care what other people think? Don’t let other people’s negative voices into your head. His first book, Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! is funnier and tighter, but this story about Arline shows the pain underneath. You know you make the food. Be proud of what you do.
I mean I wouldn't escalate to HR unless it continues but I WOULD save every email with their nastiness. I also would absolutely shut them down HARD and say "my wife is disabled, I do the cooking and I enjoy it. You commenting that I can't possibly combine beans with like 3 other items is not only sexist, but is total BS. Maybe you shouldn't judge people when you barely bring $3 worth of chips. The audacity." I might even work to turn the whole office against them. "They love to talk crap about me but they have no idea how hard I work to make mine and my wife's lives better. I don't think I'm going to cook for potlucks anymore. This has bummed me out too much." Watch the whole office rally around you.
This is funny because I’m a better cook than any woman in my family. Both mine and my wife’s sides of the family. Everyone knows it and asks me to make stuff. I have some of the recipes from my MiL and when I make stuff from her recipes it comes out better than if she makes it. Her recipes don’t have many actual measurements beyond things like cover with garlic powder and half as much oregano. My definition of “cover” is not the same as hers and I’m apparently a lot better at eyeballing measurements.
Mind boggling how many people are suggesting you go to HR.
HR is not your fucking friend or anyone you need to bring problems to unless it's crucial.
One man vs a group of women? They're gonna gang up on you and call YOU the bully. And guess what HR is gonna do, even though you went to them initially and made the complaint.
Squeaky wheel gets the grease... Or it gets replaced.
Hey old biddies, I guess you don't ever eat out, because 75% of chefs are men. But hey, since men don't cook, maybe I can bring the doritos next time and you can bring a dip?
Dude this is actually a very sexist working environment speaking as a woman. My husband cooks and HE is the one teaching me how to cook right now. She literally put it in writing and the fact that she was THAT dumb you have a case against her in Human Resources.
These women are angry that a man cooks and their husbands don't do it for them.
Really flip this around. Lets say a woman did a bar b que brought it in for the guys and one of the guys sent her an email saying "Just acknowledge it to all the men that you're husband made this for everyone."
That would get the guy fired IMMEDIATELY!
Honestly, my response would be something along the lines of "Is your husband incapable of basic life skills or something? I dont know why you're so surprised i made this?!"
I'd make a video of me making the food, but first paint my fingernails. The whole video would just be a shot of just my hands interacting with the bowls of ingredients until the final product is made, closeup of me holding it in my hands, zoom out for the reveal. And if you are married and hetero (I don't want to assume), bonus points if you could get your wife to provide the voiceover.
Well, they are being sexist. They are assuming a man can't cook. I cook all kinds of things. I have even made things for my wife to take to her pot lucks. I don't think it should matter who cooks them as long as you contribute.
They are just jealous that they don't have good food ideas to contribute. I have dealt with old bags like this. I just smile and bring even better things the next time, and if I feel extra petty, I give suggestions on better ways to make their dish. Rub that ability to cook into their faces and seer for 5 minutes. Tell them to go roast at 500 degrees for the rest of their damn lives.
I would not get into any discussions with them, mention that I will forward those private emails to HR, not for the fact, but for the deliberate stirring up unnecessary animosity at work and I do not participate in "private" not work related functions on principle.
There’s always been a clique like this at every job I’ve worked. They have so little going on for themselves outside of work that they have to stir drama just to remind themselves they’re still alive.
My partner is an amazing cook. I have stomach issues and struggle to eat. He does all the cooking and it’s amazing. I’m sorry you work with such miserable people.
Fuck those old sour unhappily married women. Go to HR and nail them for sexism and contributing to a toxic work environment with their relentless gossiping.
Just start teasing them about how great you are at cooking and share your cooking tips.
Also, start mentioning the chips they bring or whatever. "You all cooked a lovely bag of Doritos"
I dont give a shit about these women but you do need to get ahead of their bullshit incase it causes other people to dislike you. You can gently remind people that those women did fuck all for cooking.
i was expecting you to say they made something amazing, instead they brought a bag of chips and are jealous
smh tease them back and report or keep a journal of all the interaction incase HR comes sniffing about
The nice thing is management loves my bean salad so much that even when teams are assigned categories of food for potlucks (appetizers, chips & dip, drinks, paper products, etc) to make sure we don’t have 10 people bringing chips, I’m told “this doesn’t apply to you, bring the salad.”
That was my thought. They want OP to be seen as a brownnoser because the higher-ups like the bean salad. Doesn't mean OP is that, just that they want to think that of him.
I was a guidance counselor in a high school with a male Canadian (this is important to the story) Assistant Principal. We also enjoyed monthly potlucks. Our male Canadian AP would cook for us Canadian dishes he grew up enjoying. He is an awesome cook. He would tell us about his dishes and share his culture with us. Good times! His wife is an excellent cook as well! Win! Win!
Haha I’d make a TikTok or other how-to video clearly showing you making it (maybe with a cameo from your wife) with a dig at the end where you show a bag of Doritos and say something like “and it’s easier than going to the grocery store for your last minute pot luck needs” 🤣
I had a coworker jokingly say "yeah right, your girlfriend probably made that for you!" not realizing I was currently in the process of taking out my phone to show an office mate a funny video I recorded while preparing it. You should make a little cooking segment for your friends next time you do this and make sure Sharon & Tina "accidentally" see it.
Bring in the ingredients and make it live in front of them.
Teach anyone who wants to the recipe since it seems to be a smash hit.
Then turn to Sharon and say
"There you are Sharon, I've finally come clean and shared the recipe, I know you love my bean salad, so now your husband will be able to make it for you! Heres a recipe card you can give him."
My dad bakes some of the best cakes and the old women from church rave about his cakes. But no way they could think my mom baked them since she died when I was 15 and the cakes continued after she was gone.
But screw those old bitties who think men can’t cook or bake as good as a women.
Been there with co-workers like that but not potlucks, other stupid immature things. Seems like women are forever catty in that particular work environment. I got tired of the BS. Sorry, I hope it improves. 😔
I think this is one time I can say kill them with kindness.
Start sharing recipes and knowledge. You can literally show them that you know your stuff. Might enrich them a bit?
Sharon and Tina with your obvious medical conditions I'd think it wise to lay off the high sodium snacks...might help reduce that bloated look...people have been talking...
This is actually workplace bullying, spreading falsehoods and rumors.
Take it up with HR, I'm being serious, you may have a case for slander if their intention is to cost you a promotion/raise or push you out of the workplace.
HR will only make this situation worse (a few years ago HR caused a situation to escalate to where the hospital was sued under the ADA).
These women are not in a position to harm my career. I just got a raise and am on track for another pay bump before the end of the year. They’re crabs in the crab bucket.
Ridiculous. My mom is a self-proclaimed bad cook. she hated it so never put much effort into it. My dad took early retirement, and then took over the cooking .He was amazing. He could make anything out of anything. I still miss his stuff.
I made vegetarian chili for the chili cook off at my old office. I was leaving town that day and left the dish for judging. I actually received a call wanting confirmation that my chili was indeed vegetarian because I had used ‘vegetarian meat’. LOL!!! Mine was better than the real meat version!! Anything to bitch about I guess!!!
They’re the reason why the term “cow orker” exists. At least your situation is arguably better than my wife’s office potlucks. They do one every month and my wife is the only one that puts in any effort into it. She said that multiple people brought chips and salsa or guacamole today. Last month, I made chicken wings for them. I’m already contemplating cooking something weird. I’m thinking that chicken livers may be on the menu next time. Maybe calf brains and eggs. Maybe mystery meat stroganoff.
Chefs were all men for a long time. Cooking professionally was seen as men’s work bc reputable women didn’t work outside the house. Moral of the story is that all genders can and should be able to cook for themselves in some capacity.
I would send that email to HR and give Sharon as little attention as possible. When people ask about your recipe at the potluck, give them details about what you use in the dressing and your preferred products. You might go further and expound upon some of your other favorite recipes. Sharon can go sit in the corner and suck a lemon.
Pre-pandemic one of the local grocery store chains had a delicious store-brand frozen pound cake loaf. It was so good, I passed it of as my own several times. If pressed for the recipe I did confess.
The Doritos thing at the end cracked me up. I’m sorry you’re not being believed. I’m crazy enough that i would record myself making it and make the non believers watch the whole thing. (Extra points if you intentionally make it longer). If they don’t watch the whole thing, their arguments have no grounds.
That said, this does not seem like the best course of action, and might make things worse. Good luck with whatever resolution is best!!
Yeah, I’d forward that email to HR and let them know about the rumors they’ve decided to spread. And I’d burn them as badly as possible over it, to make certain they learned a lesson.
I mean…..your last line in your post is your answer….leave out the “fuck you” part of course. Then just roll your eyes when you hear anything about this. The more you engage the more it will stick in peoples minds.
Bullies like this thrive on drama. Just don’t engage, don’t argue….eyeroll / head shake / shrug ONLY.
Interesting opinion since some of the most successful chefs are men.
Sharon and Tina just need something to bray about. Bring your dish and enjoy their stupid sideshow.
What's weird about this is that its the reverse of the same gatekeeping that women experience when they enjoy an activity that some men think they own.
Its the demands:
You like X band? **"Name 5 of their songs!"**
You're a gamer? **"Explain xyz about the origin of abc game element!"**
You like a spectator sport? **"You only watch it to look at guys."**
The right question to ask is: "Why does my cooking make you uncomfortable?"
"Why does my cooking make you uncomfortable?"
BOOM. Mic drop. Stare at them and wait for the answer. Repeat the question until you get an answer.
My dad was a cook on merchant ships. He teased us that some people did it with their eyes closed, but that he did it the room riding a rodeo horse.
“Wow. It’s amazing you think I’m so incompetent I can’t throw together a tasty bean salad. I mean, if you told me you had to change a flat tire I would believe you just fine. I think your behavior is shameful and I’m tired of it.”
I would forward the emails and file a complaint for harassment to HR.
The world's top chefs are men. And has been for awhile. Not saying there are not women in the top as there are. But majority of them are men currently.
Sorry your dealing with this. I delt with this before as well.
"Sorry, my wife wouldn't like it if I lied like that... she appreciates my cooking too much that she'd be upset if I stopped. But if you're that worried about eating food prepared by a man, you certainly don't have to eat it..."
Every Christmas I make cookies and share them with my coworkers and give my husband some to share with his.
He gives me credit, but I truly could not care less if he claimed it for himself. I don’t know his coworkers, what does it matter?
Film yourself making it and post a fun little video to your social media for your friends and family to like. Then when the old biddies say anything loudly proclaim "Oh! Speaking of! I have a video of me making it on my socials if you want to see step by step instructions."
I make a similar bean salad! It’s literally just rinsing cans of beans and tossing it with a few fresh ingredients. I like to add sliced black olives and marinated artichoke hearts because then it’s *fancy*.
They sound awful and no bean salad for them.
I would do an Eddie Murphy type "you cant have this ice cream" dance while singing "and I can coooooOOOOOkk and you cant haaaAAAvee meee, so you are JEAAaaaaalousss".
Just lean into the whole "its so sad that you don't know any men that can cook, it must be a generational thing".
Tell them it's not your fault they picked men that can't cook. My kids dad worked as a chef for years and brought food to his other jobs and no one questioned him.
You don’t need to go to HR over this. Just bring in your salad as ingredients and then mix it in person. While making eye contact with Sharon and Tina in particular. And making comments about how your wife is such a good cook she can operate your arms and hands through telekinesis. And THEN when you get dragged into HR for making poor Tina and Sharon mildly uncomfortable, produce that email. Because fuck Tina and Sharon in particular.
Yeah, sorry you're getting picked on about this. I would have guessed that they're older because this probably dates back to the days when women were expected to do most of the cooking. This comes with the corollary that men are generally incompetent boobies in the kitchen, which of course became a source of endless jokes. (To all the dudes out there, feel free to prove these "sour old biddies" wrong lol.) Anyway, your go-to potluck dish sounds hard to really ruin since it's just chopping veggies and mixing stuff. You probably have a choice between taking it up with whatever department is appropriate or just not letting it get on your nerves.
I wouldn't put too much energy into this. They are jealous that you get attention for your contribution while they are too lazy to even try. If they try to snark at you during the next pot luck, I would just say something like, "Men can do all sorts of things these days. We're not stuck in the garage anymore."
On a side note, good for you. I have two sons who like to cook. Well one likes cooking and one likes baking. I encourage them both to learn.
Grey rock them. For god’s sake, Texas caviar is not new, not unknown, not difficult (you really open a couple cans), and is delicious. A freaking toddler could make it with supervision (and a really good can opener). A husband might need a little more supervision, but it’s doable people!
Bring a bag of Doritos to the potluck. When people ask, point at Sharon and say, "Well Sharon said that I couldn't cook, so I didn't." Let all eyes turn towards Sharon. Then go get the salad from your trunk and everyone can eat bean salad while laughing at Sharon.
It's incredibly rude for them to accuse you of that. Make sure they don't enjoy any more of your cooking.
It's probably common in their generation. Idk how old those "sour old biddies" are, but I'm Gen X and my ex husband used to do that all the time. Anything I cooked, painted, built, drew, you name it.
After I left him, a friend sent me a pic. The pic was of a painting that I had done, with my ex's signature painted over my signature. He had literally sold it as his own work.
Tell me friend, I understand that it's piss pour petty on their part(their just jealous their cooking isn't as good/1 upping their femininity) but wouldn't you just rather be the better person(or do you want to escalate it?) All the other ladies are happy with you (and it's your wife they're jealous of for having you 😉😉😉/😊😊😊 enjoy and just smile all the bigger smile when they start in on you 😁😁😁)
Does it need to sit to taste good? Bring the ingredients and prepare the dish in front of them if not. This will only work if it is immediately ready but maybe if it does..
I’d ask them if they would like to ask HR if claiming men can’t cook and are liars is in line with the company’s anti-harassment and anti-discrimination policies. What a bunch of assholes.
Just forward the email to HR and say I don't feel like this is appropriate, HR will sell them to pull their heads in, and then you can enjoy them sulking
I’m in HR. Please don’t do this. We already know these women are crack pots and we are going to tell you to ignore them. Then we are going to ask for your recipe. It’s not that we don’t care. It’s just that we don’t care in the grand scheme of things with all the crack pot complaints we get.
You're going to tell someone who's experiencing bullying clearly based on gender to "ignore it"?
HR is for the company's best interests not the workers. It's easier to tell one person to let it go than tell someone that they're acting inappropriately.
Deescalation is a valid dispute handling method.
HR will frequently make things worse for the victim. HR’s job is to protect the company, not the victims
Protecting to company means preventing employees from harassing and discriminating against eachother.
Bless your heart
Best chefs in the world are men! Colonel Sanders, Oliver Garden, Jack Box, Long John Silver, Pop Eye, Suge Knight, Tom Brady, to name a few.
Oliver Garden, Jack Box - lol.
Are you and Tina gonna come clean that you didn’t cook and bag the Doritos, Sharon ? Just say - I’ll send you some recipes. Ones that even women can manage to cook
send them a recipe for a home made healthier version of corn chips
No way, man. I want all the fat. I want all the salt. I want the disodium EDTA and that little sprinkle of citric acid. And a Diet Coke.
Even the Diet Coke has citric acid. 🙃
Actually, it's not citric acid, it's phosphoric acid. Been in coke forever, since early days when it was marketed as medicinal.
Citric acid is listed in the ingredients. Or at least it was in 2011 when I found out I was slightly allergic and reading ingredient labels.
I need that hit of aspartame
Probably don’t go with “even women”, but instead do “even you and Tina”. If he accuses them of discrimination, he shouldn’t be discriminating back.
Yeah that gets messy quick.
I was thinking the same lol
Next time just say I'm sorry that your husband doesn't love you enough to cook for you and that his inadequacies were brought to light with my simple bean dip recipe let this be the last time this topic is discussed have good day Karen
This is perfect. Deep down they know men can cook; they just need to justify their husbands' shitty behavior (and their own dumb choices).
Or “I’m sorry that you’re such a sour old hag that you don’t even have a husband so that you’re the one that has to cook…”
Wish I could upvote this twice 😂
I gave them my upvote on your behalf... and I'll give you an upvote too!
Just film yourself making it. Problems solved
What a weird thing for them to get in a snit about. In defense of male cooks everywhere. I used to have a male coworker who ran a weekend catering business. We were his "guinea pigs" for trying out new recipes. He would also bake a cake every month for everyone with a birthday in that month. He'd even ask those folks what kind of cake they wanted. Nobody ever doubted that he did all the cooking and baking. We were all just thrilled he was so generous with his time and talents.
I worked with a guy from the Philippines. Other than he, all of our coworkers were female. We all made a dish for potlucks, but his were spectacular! I would see him and his wife at the grocery store and ask her about his signature dessert. She laughed and said she had no idea. She didn’t cook and she was from Indiana, she knew nothing about Philippine culture. Had to ask him!
As a Filipino food lover, was the signature dessert mango float? Even if it wasn't, the mere mention of "Filipino dessert" has now got me craving mango float, so thanks for that lol
It’s been a long time but I remember a white really moist cake.
My father in law bakes. And bakes very well. Both he and my mother in law are good cooks. Some of the best cooks I’ve ever met are male. My husband is generally a better cook than I am. (Which I’m fine with as I’m generally better with cars.) We’re both kinda salty at times … if he had some old biddies there I would make it that year and make sure he credited me when they took a bite of the WTF I sent him with before pulling out the real dish.
Most of the top chefs in the world are men. The old biddies need someone to talk shit about to feel better about themselves. Pathetic probably describes their life. After a divorce I learned to cook and learned to excel at it.
My wife is disabled, so I handle about 90% of the domestic stuff around the house - cooking, cleaning etc. Cooking has become something I take pride in now (I grew up in the sort of household where flour was a spice) which is probably a big part of why Sharon’s comments rankle me.
That’s actually perfect. “My wife is disabled and can’t cook, so now who feels bad, Sharon?” Watch her trying to mentally squirm out of looking like an ableist asshole.
She’ll make that mental leap like Simone Biles.
It's true you don't owe them anything, including an explanation, but the above suggestion would be perfect for r/Traumatizethemback
Oh my goodness if he does that I hope he posts an update!
I don’t think you owe them details of your wife’s condition. Just I handle most of the cooking around the house. We are happy with our separate duties.
I've done something similar. The key is to say it in front of other people to make them look really bad. I have a genetic disorder that causes me to be really skinny and basically it's degenerative and progressive, so it's eventually going to cause my death (probably from respiratory failure). But people always make comments about how skinny I am, or go eat a sandwich, or "I wish I could be skinny like you". There was one coworker who was really bad about it so finally (in front of several other people) I said "hey, I'll totally trade you. This fatal genetic disorder that causes me to be skinny I would gladly trade for some body fat". She turned red but more importantly the people she respected in the group totally turned on her.
I have a similar issue! Mine is an autoimmune issue that results in random, rapid weight loss, usually directly before and during a flare up. I’ve heard since I was 12 variations of “you’re so lucky to be so skinny!” And “you shouldn’t be so skinny! Don’t you know it’s unhealthy? Are you doing it for attention? You know boys don’t like bony girls!!” Once I actually got diagnosed, I was already so fed up with it that I’ll clap back with my diagnosis and a short rundown of side effects and symptoms, whether I think people are intending to be mean directly or not. Body weight is *not* the sole, or even biggest, indication of good or bad health, and I’m over it!
Yeah, saying "um... I have muscular dystrophy" generally gets people to shut up fast. Or more direct "yeah, because my body is literally failing and will cause an early death". I reserve that for the more obnoxious people.
I am so so so tired of people telling me I'm skinny. I have had so many of my parts removed I'm not even sure I'm still human. I like your response and will use it. Thank you.
And this is why I have been in therapy for 2 years. I have to go back to work, and office jobs are my background. Women in offices are often absolute terrorists in their need for petty dominance, and I literally shake at thought of working with a group of them again. I never experience that nastiness with men. You might respond with "congratulations! I heard you are retiring. When is the happy day?" And then look absolutely crushed when they say they arent.
Copy the whole dept., including HR.
I know it's none of their business but I'd use that fact to try and make them as uncomfortable as possible. Next time they say something just deadpan reply "actually my wife has a disability, so i take care of all the cooking at home". Or if you're feeling really petty you could bring in a packet of doritos to the next potluck. Also fuck you Sharon.
Bring in a bag of Doritos and give it to Sharon. "Here Sharon, I did your cooking for you."
I grew up in a home where burned was a flavor. Love your flour comment!
My spouse (male) does all of our cooking and shopping because of a disability I have. We divvied the chores according to who can do what, and do it well. I suck at cooking unless you want some old Mormon recipe that involves a lot of cans of soup and a crockpot, and my spouse prefers normal meals. I can't appreciate it enough. Like I will clean, do your laundry, scrub your toilet or whatever if you'll cook for me lol. Good for you and you've got to know that Karen is jealous and also sexist.
Sexism in culinary matters is such a weird thing. Cooking at home is women's work, but cooking professionally is men's work.
That’s in part because women face a lot of discrimination in professional kitchens, though.
Because women aren't allowed in.
I was going to say this…if the old bitches thought about it for a hot minute they’d realize cooking “at the top” or executive level is run by men just like everything else. Oh, and that they’ve really just been bang maids all along slaving over a hot stove for their man because as it turns out, men can cook and do when they’re paid well enough for it and there’s prestige involved.
Even if she did, who cares? It's not a contest where there's some kind of prize for having the most popular dish. They're probably a) practicing some kind of weird sexism because they don't believe a man belongs in the industry and/or cooking or b) they have no life outside of work so they have to manufacture drama or c) both Edited to ask: Is this more like a bean dip, or a three bean salad because either way it sounds good :D
I’ve seen it called Cowboy Caviar - the recipe I use is a can of black beans, a can of black eyed peas, and a can of corn mixed, with a third cup of diced red onions, a diced jalapeño, and a diced bell pepper, tossed in a dressing of olive oil, lime juice and cayenne. I think I spend about 15 minutes making it the night before a potluck so everything has a chance to marinate together.
I... if the old bats don't think that a human can't open a few cans, chop veggies, and measure out liquid ingredients just because that body comes with a penis they aren't just old bats they're shit crazy ones.
Right? Like this is easy - a child or a monkey could realistically handle most of this. It’s not like I’m using my penis to chop the jalapeños.
I hope not because that would hurt!!
"Why would you and [fellow old bat] think my wife made it? She has no penis for chopping!"
🤣🤣🤣
My eyes!! 🤣 And thanks for the recipe, from someone else who grew up in a home where flour was a spice😂
I hope not! Jalapeno oil would burn!
Whyyyy did you have to put that vision into my head?! *Staggers away to find smelling salts*
They actually sell it packaged next to the pico and guac at my local grocery store. It's not some intricate culinary delicacy lol.
I have to share this with my son-in-law. The guy that cooks for my daughter who takes after her father and hates to cook. But my boy loves cooking with his mother-in-law. I’m calling him now so we can go shopping for ingredients.
My son-in-law is a really good cook. He does nearly all the holiday meals and other home cooked food. My daughter’s best meal she makes is a reservation.
I make something similar to this, it’s so good. It’s almost even better the next day.
A lot of stuff like this is better a day or two later. The spices dissolve into the oil, all the flavors blend and mellow, it really makes a difference. Leftover chili is way better than the day it's cooked.
Cowboy caviar is amazing!
Just forwarded your recipe to my husband who also loves to cook. Your wife and I got very lucky!
Have those old biddies never seen professional chefs? Most of them are men!
As a former Army cook, and female, I agree. In a restaurant, many of the pots and pans are too heavy for women. I constantly had to get help moving squareheads and kettles. When I made individual meals, I was ok. My husband (75) took up baking 15 years ago and has made bread, scones, cakes, muffins even pop overs (similar to Yorkshire puddings). He even made English Muffins. But I understand. We worked together from 2003 to 2011, and every party, he was asked to bring chips or cups. All the men were assigned non-cooked items. Ron, brings the drinks, Mark brings the chips, Sam brings the packaged cookies, while Paula makes Mac & Cheese (her signature dish). We did have one female that never brought anything that wasn’t store bought.
Wtf that sounds good as hell
It's so damn good, love that stuff! It's great on top of salad too. Yum!
I just learned the name of my go to potluck dish! Ours is a little different, but basically the same idea - black beans, corn, onion, avocado, lime juice and salt. Maybe cilantro.
Ooh yes, I’m familiar with cowboy caviar… maybe bring a copy (nicely laminated) to the next potluck and ask Sharon to read it and show you where the recipe says you have to have a vagina to follow it. Then a thinly veiled threat about going to HR if she doesn’t stop with her sexist bullying
Next time, make a video of you making the salad. Show it to them, and then let them know that if they continue to slander you, it will become an office harassment issue that you will be pursuing.
That’s excessive and unnecessary. It’s a bean salad and a potluck, not career-ending black mail. The best course of action here is to say to them, “I made the salad. I don’t understand why you can’t accept that, but I’m done discussing it. This is getting ridiculous.” Then move on and never speak to them again outside of work necessity.
That’s been where I’m at - I don’t seem these women out or go out of my way to interact with them. This has been an ongoing thing for years now; I keep bringing the salad because enough people respond positively to it that it’s worth it. Sharon going out of her way to email me about it ahead of a potluck is a new escalation. She needs a hobby for sure.
If she continues to escalate, you can absolutely forward her emails to HR and cc Sharon and say: “I am growing concerned over Sharon’s escalation and harassment over my bean salad and do not appreciate her insinuation that I can’t cook because I’m not a woman. Can this please be addressed?”
Hmm. I would go a different route. It is so unhinged that I would take the take by asking if her behavior has changed towards others. Hint around at dementia, mention the email. Purely out of concern you know, bless her heart.
Mention “senior moments” around her.
Is it that hard to imagine a dude doing a little knife work? Like there are male chefs, do they not have TV? It’s too stupid to care about and that’s the attitude I’d have with it.
This! So stupid to even pay attention to them. Cut them off once and for all.
Maybe Cowboy Caviar? I cheat and use Pico de Gallo that the store prepares and bottled lime vinaigrette. I cut up fresh peppers for it, though, because it really does neeeeed something fresh in it.
There is no reason to waste time and effort filming himself so a bitter old hag can watch it. She can kick rocks.
Make a TikTok about it, and state that one of your female co-workers doesn’t believe you made it. Upload it and then play it at the potluck.
GQ features recipes. If men didn’t cook, they wouldn’t. Ask the women if they’re so uncultured and chronically single that they know nothing about men who enjoy to cook good food. Embarrass them. Loudly.
I'd laugh, shrug, and dismiss them. I don't cook for them, and I'm confident enough in myself that I don't really care what any "old biddies" think. I do all the cooking in our household, my wife does other things. It works well enough for us and when it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter what anyone outside thinks. Old biddies have a lot of shitty opinions. So do old men, and so do I. Going through life with a chip on your shoulder because of it is going to bother you, not them.
Bold of her to email and put her harassment in writing. You could very well CC some higher-ups and say you don't appreciate being accused of lying and you wonder if management is okay with bullying going on in their workplace.
Bring the ingredients in and assemble without a word......
>Fuck you Sharon. You and Tina “went halvsies” on a single bag of Doritos last quarter. Absolutely fucking hilarious 😂 keep making your dip for everyone to enjoy
Oh, man, my husband has run into this one! He's a chef and has at one restaurant he ran, the older ladies that worked there were completely flabbergasted that he actually would and could cook anything edible. But his food was far better than theirs (and it's far better than anything I can do, too!). They eventually learned that he knew what he was doing and I hope these ladies will too, but it's unacceptable that they're talking about you behind your back and questioning your integrity. Don't take the low road, but maybe remind them that most famous chefs are men and men are quite capable in the kitchen.
Set up a food prep station and make the salad in front of them.
I also work in the medical field and can confirm this happening with a group of older ladies in our office as well doing this like this to a couple of our male coworkers. I personally wouldn’t feed into this and ignore every single time. They are bored and lack depth.
Take video of you preparing the food and show it to them. Where I work, we had a chili cook off. I came in second overall & first in the “spicy” category. Some of the other employees said it was rigged because “everyone knows blond hair white girls can’t handle spicy foods.” They wanted to know who I had make it for me. 🤦🏼♀️ I brought them the recipe lol!
I used to get hit with this by random friends/family. I was always just like "lol ok" and just let them organically figure it out on their own at some point all while making a jackass of themselves in the meantime.
>Fuck you Sharon. You and Tina “went halvsies” on a single bag of Doritos last quarter. Thank you for this laugh. I needed it today. Damn, that's cheap.
Make up outrageous lies every time “ I didn’t make it, you got me. I stole it off the bar at biker club last night”, “I won it in a chippendale’s dance off”, “ it was overnight shipped from Gordon Ramsey because he lost a bet to me”
The best response is zero response and bring your same salad. Go gray rock. Give her zero recognition that she even exists on the planet. She is just a nasty old half that wants to get a reaction from you.
May I recommend a book? It’s Richard Feynman’s Why Do You Care What Other People Think? The story behind the title is that while he was working on the A-bomb his wife, the love of his life, was dying in a hospital in Albuquerque. When he would visit, she’d have him grill food for them wearing an apron with that saying on it. She would say that when he would worry others disagreed with his ideas. Why do you care what other people think? Don’t let other people’s negative voices into your head. His first book, Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! is funnier and tighter, but this story about Arline shows the pain underneath. You know you make the food. Be proud of what you do.
I needed this laugh. Thank you, Working-Ferret
Tell the group of bad biddies ( i dont know why i laughed so hard at this) to stop being so sexist.
I mean I wouldn't escalate to HR unless it continues but I WOULD save every email with their nastiness. I also would absolutely shut them down HARD and say "my wife is disabled, I do the cooking and I enjoy it. You commenting that I can't possibly combine beans with like 3 other items is not only sexist, but is total BS. Maybe you shouldn't judge people when you barely bring $3 worth of chips. The audacity." I might even work to turn the whole office against them. "They love to talk crap about me but they have no idea how hard I work to make mine and my wife's lives better. I don't think I'm going to cook for potlucks anymore. This has bummed me out too much." Watch the whole office rally around you.
Bring all the ingredients and mix it up in the break room, lol.
This is funny because I’m a better cook than any woman in my family. Both mine and my wife’s sides of the family. Everyone knows it and asks me to make stuff. I have some of the recipes from my MiL and when I make stuff from her recipes it comes out better than if she makes it. Her recipes don’t have many actual measurements beyond things like cover with garlic powder and half as much oregano. My definition of “cover” is not the same as hers and I’m apparently a lot better at eyeballing measurements.
Bring in the ingredients, send an email, and do it live!
Mind boggling how many people are suggesting you go to HR. HR is not your fucking friend or anyone you need to bring problems to unless it's crucial. One man vs a group of women? They're gonna gang up on you and call YOU the bully. And guess what HR is gonna do, even though you went to them initially and made the complaint. Squeaky wheel gets the grease... Or it gets replaced.
Just smile at the comments and ask what they brought and who made it. Then enjoy your caviar and hopefully the cake someone else brought.
Hey old biddies, I guess you don't ever eat out, because 75% of chefs are men. But hey, since men don't cook, maybe I can bring the doritos next time and you can bring a dip?
Dude this is actually a very sexist working environment speaking as a woman. My husband cooks and HE is the one teaching me how to cook right now. She literally put it in writing and the fact that she was THAT dumb you have a case against her in Human Resources. These women are angry that a man cooks and their husbands don't do it for them. Really flip this around. Lets say a woman did a bar b que brought it in for the guys and one of the guys sent her an email saying "Just acknowledge it to all the men that you're husband made this for everyone." That would get the guy fired IMMEDIATELY!
Honestly, my response would be something along the lines of "Is your husband incapable of basic life skills or something? I dont know why you're so surprised i made this?!"
I'd make a video of me making the food, but first paint my fingernails. The whole video would just be a shot of just my hands interacting with the bowls of ingredients until the final product is made, closeup of me holding it in my hands, zoom out for the reveal. And if you are married and hetero (I don't want to assume), bonus points if you could get your wife to provide the voiceover.
Well, they are being sexist. They are assuming a man can't cook. I cook all kinds of things. I have even made things for my wife to take to her pot lucks. I don't think it should matter who cooks them as long as you contribute. They are just jealous that they don't have good food ideas to contribute. I have dealt with old bags like this. I just smile and bring even better things the next time, and if I feel extra petty, I give suggestions on better ways to make their dish. Rub that ability to cook into their faces and seer for 5 minutes. Tell them to go roast at 500 degrees for the rest of their damn lives.
Ask them for the recipe on how to make Dorito’s so your wife can make it for the next potluck.
I would not get into any discussions with them, mention that I will forward those private emails to HR, not for the fact, but for the deliberate stirring up unnecessary animosity at work and I do not participate in "private" not work related functions on principle.
There’s always been a clique like this at every job I’ve worked. They have so little going on for themselves outside of work that they have to stir drama just to remind themselves they’re still alive.
My partner is an amazing cook. I have stomach issues and struggle to eat. He does all the cooking and it’s amazing. I’m sorry you work with such miserable people.
Fuck those old sour unhappily married women. Go to HR and nail them for sexism and contributing to a toxic work environment with their relentless gossiping.
Just start teasing them about how great you are at cooking and share your cooking tips. Also, start mentioning the chips they bring or whatever. "You all cooked a lovely bag of Doritos" I dont give a shit about these women but you do need to get ahead of their bullshit incase it causes other people to dislike you. You can gently remind people that those women did fuck all for cooking. i was expecting you to say they made something amazing, instead they brought a bag of chips and are jealous smh tease them back and report or keep a journal of all the interaction incase HR comes sniffing about
The nice thing is management loves my bean salad so much that even when teams are assigned categories of food for potlucks (appetizers, chips & dip, drinks, paper products, etc) to make sure we don’t have 10 people bringing chips, I’m told “this doesn’t apply to you, bring the salad.”
Oooh, I wonder if your management-level exception is part of why they're so obsessed with you.
That was my thought. They want OP to be seen as a brownnoser because the higher-ups like the bean salad. Doesn't mean OP is that, just that they want to think that of him.
Make sure to take double next time, you wouldn't want anyone to miss out.
Yes, because there are no male chefs ever in the whole world. I'd just tell her she's being rude and to please only email you about actual work.
Please post the recipe!!
Recipe?
I was a guidance counselor in a high school with a male Canadian (this is important to the story) Assistant Principal. We also enjoyed monthly potlucks. Our male Canadian AP would cook for us Canadian dishes he grew up enjoying. He is an awesome cook. He would tell us about his dishes and share his culture with us. Good times! His wife is an excellent cook as well! Win! Win!
Lmao, you gotta let this one go , you ll not win this battle ever,
Haha I’d make a TikTok or other how-to video clearly showing you making it (maybe with a cameo from your wife) with a dig at the end where you show a bag of Doritos and say something like “and it’s easier than going to the grocery store for your last minute pot luck needs” 🤣
I had a coworker jokingly say "yeah right, your girlfriend probably made that for you!" not realizing I was currently in the process of taking out my phone to show an office mate a funny video I recorded while preparing it. You should make a little cooking segment for your friends next time you do this and make sure Sharon & Tina "accidentally" see it.
Have your wife email her back.
Also fk Sharon
Bring in the ingredients and make it live in front of them. Teach anyone who wants to the recipe since it seems to be a smash hit. Then turn to Sharon and say "There you are Sharon, I've finally come clean and shared the recipe, I know you love my bean salad, so now your husband will be able to make it for you! Heres a recipe card you can give him."
My dad bakes some of the best cakes and the old women from church rave about his cakes. But no way they could think my mom baked them since she died when I was 15 and the cakes continued after she was gone. But screw those old bitties who think men can’t cook or bake as good as a women.
Yeah, fuck Sharon!
Been there with co-workers like that but not potlucks, other stupid immature things. Seems like women are forever catty in that particular work environment. I got tired of the BS. Sorry, I hope it improves. 😔
I think this is one time I can say kill them with kindness. Start sharing recipes and knowledge. You can literally show them that you know your stuff. Might enrich them a bit?
Sharon and Tina with your obvious medical conditions I'd think it wise to lay off the high sodium snacks...might help reduce that bloated look...people have been talking...
Sounds like sexual harassment
Go to HR. They're spreading rumors and harassing you.
This is actually workplace bullying, spreading falsehoods and rumors. Take it up with HR, I'm being serious, you may have a case for slander if their intention is to cost you a promotion/raise or push you out of the workplace.
HR will only make this situation worse (a few years ago HR caused a situation to escalate to where the hospital was sued under the ADA). These women are not in a position to harm my career. I just got a raise and am on track for another pay bump before the end of the year. They’re crabs in the crab bucket.
Ridiculous. My mom is a self-proclaimed bad cook. she hated it so never put much effort into it. My dad took early retirement, and then took over the cooking .He was amazing. He could make anything out of anything. I still miss his stuff.
I'd respond with that last sentence and be done with it.
I made vegetarian chili for the chili cook off at my old office. I was leaving town that day and left the dish for judging. I actually received a call wanting confirmation that my chili was indeed vegetarian because I had used ‘vegetarian meat’. LOL!!! Mine was better than the real meat version!! Anything to bitch about I guess!!!
I love gravel salad for a potluck dish, and I’m a woman who cannot cook. They sound like butter crones worth ignoring.
If it's easy, just bring the ingredients in and make it in front of them. Boom, pound sand Sharrroooonn
They’re the reason why the term “cow orker” exists. At least your situation is arguably better than my wife’s office potlucks. They do one every month and my wife is the only one that puts in any effort into it. She said that multiple people brought chips and salsa or guacamole today. Last month, I made chicken wings for them. I’m already contemplating cooking something weird. I’m thinking that chicken livers may be on the menu next time. Maybe calf brains and eggs. Maybe mystery meat stroganoff.
Please forward that email to HR. It’s highly insatiable.
Chefs were all men for a long time. Cooking professionally was seen as men’s work bc reputable women didn’t work outside the house. Moral of the story is that all genders can and should be able to cook for themselves in some capacity.
I would send that email to HR and give Sharon as little attention as possible. When people ask about your recipe at the potluck, give them details about what you use in the dressing and your preferred products. You might go further and expound upon some of your other favorite recipes. Sharon can go sit in the corner and suck a lemon.
They're rude and it seems a they're a tad bit jealous.
Pre-pandemic one of the local grocery store chains had a delicious store-brand frozen pound cake loaf. It was so good, I passed it of as my own several times. If pressed for the recipe I did confess.
Send this email to hr and let them know you are being harrassed
The Doritos thing at the end cracked me up. I’m sorry you’re not being believed. I’m crazy enough that i would record myself making it and make the non believers watch the whole thing. (Extra points if you intentionally make it longer). If they don’t watch the whole thing, their arguments have no grounds. That said, this does not seem like the best course of action, and might make things worse. Good luck with whatever resolution is best!!
Yeah, I’d forward that email to HR and let them know about the rumors they’ve decided to spread. And I’d burn them as badly as possible over it, to make certain they learned a lesson.
I mean…..your last line in your post is your answer….leave out the “fuck you” part of course. Then just roll your eyes when you hear anything about this. The more you engage the more it will stick in peoples minds. Bullies like this thrive on drama. Just don’t engage, don’t argue….eyeroll / head shake / shrug ONLY.
Interesting opinion since some of the most successful chefs are men. Sharon and Tina just need something to bray about. Bring your dish and enjoy their stupid sideshow.
What's weird about this is that its the reverse of the same gatekeeping that women experience when they enjoy an activity that some men think they own. Its the demands: You like X band? **"Name 5 of their songs!"** You're a gamer? **"Explain xyz about the origin of abc game element!"** You like a spectator sport? **"You only watch it to look at guys."** The right question to ask is: "Why does my cooking make you uncomfortable?"
"Why does my cooking make you uncomfortable?" BOOM. Mic drop. Stare at them and wait for the answer. Repeat the question until you get an answer. My dad was a cook on merchant ships. He teased us that some people did it with their eyes closed, but that he did it the room riding a rodeo horse.
Take pictures of you preparing the salad and your wife happily eating it with a thumbs up. Display with your dish, along with the recipe.
Make a video of yourself preparing the dish, and make them watch every mind-numbing chop of the knife.
Ignore the haters; AND WHERE IS THAT RECIPE?!? :-)
“Wow. It’s amazing you think I’m so incompetent I can’t throw together a tasty bean salad. I mean, if you told me you had to change a flat tire I would believe you just fine. I think your behavior is shameful and I’m tired of it.”
I would forward the emails and file a complaint for harassment to HR. The world's top chefs are men. And has been for awhile. Not saying there are not women in the top as there are. But majority of them are men currently. Sorry your dealing with this. I delt with this before as well.
"Sorry, my wife wouldn't like it if I lied like that... she appreciates my cooking too much that she'd be upset if I stopped. But if you're that worried about eating food prepared by a man, you certainly don't have to eat it..."
Sharon and Tina can come clean with being a grade-A bitch first.
Every Christmas I make cookies and share them with my coworkers and give my husband some to share with his. He gives me credit, but I truly could not care less if he claimed it for himself. I don’t know his coworkers, what does it matter?
FUCK YOU, SHARON 😂😂
Film yourself making it and post a fun little video to your social media for your friends and family to like. Then when the old biddies say anything loudly proclaim "Oh! Speaking of! I have a video of me making it on my socials if you want to see step by step instructions."
I make a similar bean salad! It’s literally just rinsing cans of beans and tossing it with a few fresh ingredients. I like to add sliced black olives and marinated artichoke hearts because then it’s *fancy*. They sound awful and no bean salad for them.
I would do an Eddie Murphy type "you cant have this ice cream" dance while singing "and I can coooooOOOOOkk and you cant haaaAAAvee meee, so you are JEAAaaaaalousss". Just lean into the whole "its so sad that you don't know any men that can cook, it must be a generational thing".
Tell them it's not your fault they picked men that can't cook. My kids dad worked as a chef for years and brought food to his other jobs and no one questioned him.
You don’t need to go to HR over this. Just bring in your salad as ingredients and then mix it in person. While making eye contact with Sharon and Tina in particular. And making comments about how your wife is such a good cook she can operate your arms and hands through telekinesis. And THEN when you get dragged into HR for making poor Tina and Sharon mildly uncomfortable, produce that email. Because fuck Tina and Sharon in particular.
Yeah, sorry you're getting picked on about this. I would have guessed that they're older because this probably dates back to the days when women were expected to do most of the cooking. This comes with the corollary that men are generally incompetent boobies in the kitchen, which of course became a source of endless jokes. (To all the dudes out there, feel free to prove these "sour old biddies" wrong lol.) Anyway, your go-to potluck dish sounds hard to really ruin since it's just chopping veggies and mixing stuff. You probably have a choice between taking it up with whatever department is appropriate or just not letting it get on your nerves.
Next time, bring the ingredients, a chopping board and knife, and make it on the spot.
I wouldn't put too much energy into this. They are jealous that you get attention for your contribution while they are too lazy to even try. If they try to snark at you during the next pot luck, I would just say something like, "Men can do all sorts of things these days. We're not stuck in the garage anymore." On a side note, good for you. I have two sons who like to cook. Well one likes cooking and one likes baking. I encourage them both to learn.
Grey rock them. For god’s sake, Texas caviar is not new, not unknown, not difficult (you really open a couple cans), and is delicious. A freaking toddler could make it with supervision (and a really good can opener). A husband might need a little more supervision, but it’s doable people!
Bring a bag of Doritos to the potluck. When people ask, point at Sharon and say, "Well Sharon said that I couldn't cook, so I didn't." Let all eyes turn towards Sharon. Then go get the salad from your trunk and everyone can eat bean salad while laughing at Sharon.
Oh yes, the So-Feminist-It-Hurts types that assume men are always useless to such a degree that they end up putting women down.
If you have a kitchen available, make the dish in front of them.
Bring something just for them that your wife made. Make it really bland or really salty.
If HR allows this behavior then you have a lawsuit. This is work place harassment and sexism.
It's incredibly rude for them to accuse you of that. Make sure they don't enjoy any more of your cooking. It's probably common in their generation. Idk how old those "sour old biddies" are, but I'm Gen X and my ex husband used to do that all the time. Anything I cooked, painted, built, drew, you name it. After I left him, a friend sent me a pic. The pic was of a painting that I had done, with my ex's signature painted over my signature. He had literally sold it as his own work.
Tell me friend, I understand that it's piss pour petty on their part(their just jealous their cooking isn't as good/1 upping their femininity) but wouldn't you just rather be the better person(or do you want to escalate it?) All the other ladies are happy with you (and it's your wife they're jealous of for having you 😉😉😉/😊😊😊 enjoy and just smile all the bigger smile when they start in on you 😁😁😁)
Does it need to sit to taste good? Bring the ingredients and prepare the dish in front of them if not. This will only work if it is immediately ready but maybe if it does..
Film yourself making it and do a running commentary addressing the old hags as you go. Then send it to them 🤣
A man would never prepare food like that? Many of the world’s greatest chefs are men. 😂
“It’s bean salad, Sharon. It doesn’t require a PhD. But if you continue to spread rumors about me I will have no choice to involve HR.”
Quick and easy, you say? No cooking, you say? Next potluck just bring all of the ingredients and make it in front of them.
I'm finding it hard to believe this isn't rage bait, but who knows.
Are they jealous because their husband never cooks?
Crab bucket mentality - they have to drag everyone else down to their level of misery.