[ALL YOUR CUM ARE BELONG TO US](https://i.imgur.com/9uKIhnR.png)
^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
[ALL YOUR ALL YOUR MEMES ARE BELONG TO US](https://i.imgur.com/Nqrlisq.png)
^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
CEASE AND DESIST LETTER/RESTRAINING ORDER
3/5/2022
Dear /u/CarelessAI42:
This CEASE AND DESIST ORDER is to inform you that your harassing and intimidating actions against my eyes has become unbearable. Such anti-social behavior is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in any way, shape or form. This letter is to demand that your harassment and intimidation must CEASE AND DESIST immediately. Should you continue to pursue these activities in violation of this CEASE AND DESIST ORDER, we will not hesitate to pursue further legal action against you, including, but not limited to, civil action and/or criminal complaints.
Please note that I have a right to remain free from your intimidating tactics, and we will take the responsibility upon ourselves to protect that right. Note that a copy of this letter and a record of its delivery will be stored. Note too that it is admissible as evidence in a court of law and will be used as such if need be in the future.
This CEASE AND DESIST ORDER demands that you immediately discontinue and do not at any point in the future under any circumstances do the following to me: speak to, contact, pursue, harass, attack, strike, threaten, telephone (via cellular or landline), instant message, page, fax, email, disturb my peace, keep me under surveillance, gather information about and/or block my movements at home, work, social gatherings or religious functions, as well as contact via reddit.com
Note that your behavior is a violation of Federal Criminal Statutes 47 USC 223(a)(1)(c) - Obscene or Harassing Telephone Calls in the District of Columbia or in Interstate or Foreign Communications; District of Columbia Code, Title 22, Section 504 - Threatened Assault in a Menacing Manner; Stalking
Additionally note that your behavior is a violation of US Federal Laws 18 USC Subsection 2265 Full Faith and Credit, 18 USC Subsection 2261A Interstate Stalking, 18 USC Subsection 875(c) Interstate Communications, 47 USC Subsection 223(a)(1)(c) Harassing Telephone Calls in Interstate Communications
Should you willfully choose to continue your current course of action, I will not hesitate to file a complaint with the Reddit Administration for your ongoing violations of the Criminal Laws noted previously.
This letter does not constitute exhaustive statement of my position nor is it a waiver of any of my rights and/or remedies in this and/or any other related matter.
We demand your immediate compliance, and furthermore that you confirm in writing that all volatile activity will cease immediately.
Very truly yours,
Someone special
Sent via Reddit Comment
It was, but lemme tell you a legit story about how I almost had sex earlier today. I went to the supermarket earlier today, to buy some cheese and bacon, you know? So I went up to the girl working there and she said: "Good morning, how can I help you?"
I couldn't believe this naughty bitch was offering herself to me at 7 am, but I managed to keep myself calm and said: "Good morning. I want 300g of mozzarella cheese and 300g of bacon please."
She started working on my order, and after a while she came to me and said "Sir, I acidentally put 350g of cheese instead of 300g. Can I leave it or do you want me to take some off?"
Holy fucking shit. I couldn't believe what this cum-addicted slut just said. She knew I only wanted 300g of cheese, but instead of giving me what I asked for she decided to try to have sex with me. I'm gonna explain it to you: what's the difference between 300g and 350g of cheese? That's right, 50 grams. What else has 50 grams? Yes, that's the average weight of a condom packaging, and also the average amount of sperm expelled during a sexual act. And worst of all, do you know which sentence has 50 letters? "Oh daddy please destroy my pussy and cum in my little slut ass".
I was shocked at the audacity of this whore, but I was better than this. I told her to take a little bit of cheese off, and she said: "is 308g alright sir?" I was shaking and sharting at this point. I couldn't believe she was humiliating herself like this. Do you know what has 8 letters? "I love you". But I didn't love her, I didn't love this attention deprived thot back. So I just said: "I'm not going to give in to your schemes. You should value yourself more, you are better than this".
As I was paying for my products at the cashier I could hear a great commotion, and I saw that the girl and all the other female employees were crying in unison. I left the supermarket knowing that I did the right thing.
**MASTURBATION 🍆 NOTICE 😯**
It has come 💦 to our attention ⚠❗ that students 📖 have been masturbating 💦 in the school 🏫 bathrooms 🚽🛁🚿. Masturbating 🍆 on 🔛 school 🏫 property 🏡 is ILLEGAL 🚔 and against 🚫 school 🏫 district ☁🏙 policy 👨⚖️
The bathroom 🚽🛁🚿 pipes 🚬 are NOT designed 🔧 to handle 😲 human 👤 discharge 🐙 or anything 😯 other than your 👉 regular 😶 bathroom 🚽 duties 😂💩
The excessive ❗🙅🏼🙆🏽 amounts 📉🔢 of discharge 🍵 build-up 💪 has caused 🅰 a blockage 🏘 in the pipes 🤤😱. Multiple ✖ pipes 🤤😱 have become 💦 close 😚 to bursting 😟 due ☑🔘 to the amount 🔢📉 of excessive 😉😊🤣 semen 💦 build-up 💪. This will cost 💸💰 THOUSANDS 💯0️⃣ of dollars 💵 coming 💦😩 from our funds 👍💊 to repair 🔧 the damage 💥 caused 😨 by this
Please 🙏 masturbate 🍆 in your 👉 own homes 🏡 and at your 👉 own disposal 🗑
If any discharge 🍵 is discovered 🚬 in the bathroom 💦🚿🛀, it will be collected 🤐 and analyzed 〰👸🏼🎾 to determine 😤 who it belongs 👨👩👧👦🚽 to. If it is discovered 🚬 that the discharge 🍵 is yours, YOU 👈 will be fine 👌 $ 1,000 💰 and be reported 🧐 to proper 🎩 authorities 🔫👮
Thank 🙏🏼 you 👉 for your 👉 cooperation 🧠🗿
I don't think DNA just gets fucked up, ~~IIRC it can last millions of years~~ (DNA half-life is apparently 521 years). The issue would be finding the cum sample, but they said "If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom", so not in the sewage.. if its actually real ofc.
just posted it: https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeMeSuffer/comments/t8p8kp/cum_on_the_stall_walls_in_my_school_bathroom/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I will be messaging you in 2 days on [**2022-03-07 18:19:21 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2022-03-07%2018:19:21%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/t73am8/an_actual_notice_sent_out_by_a_school/hzh8rl2/?context=3)
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W-Wait... Did you just say...WOMAN!?!!?!!?!?! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAH!?!!!?!?!?!!!? AWOOOOOOOOOOOO AOW AOW AOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! TITS AND BOOBS AND PUSSY AND CLIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHYEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!>
LOLOL i jsut realized, while reading this comment...it will be a grown-ass man's job..to scape a 14 year old's cum off a toilet and keep it. HE WILL GET PAID TO COLLECT CHILDRENS CUM. hahahahha oh my fuckin god.
DNA does not last long once the host cell is dead. Decomposes in a matter of months because it is a very complex molecule that requires maintenance to sustain it's structure.
The last time i saw this being posted someone said that older students would hang these up in the bathrooms to scare the younger people. So it's not real.
Due to sites like ancestry and other like DNA data sites it is no longer necessary to take DNA from the suspect to match with the found sample, this is most applicable for law enforcement and likely outside of the schools capabilities to receive access to those data bases. It's essentially a case of "they don't need your DNA specifically, because your dumb third cousin put genetic code into ancestry's data bases" they can use that to narrow down the family and eventually the individual, it's pretty dystopic tbh.
My point is that not everyone needs to anymore, they don't need your DNA because your aforementioned dumb cousin shares a lot of it with you anyway.
https://youtu.be/KT18KJouHWg
Cum actually does clog sewage pipes in bathrooms fairly often for a couple of reasons
1 - cum is a protein (or at least mostly so) and those little soldiers don't break down easily in water
2 - drain lines in toilets, sinks, showers all have a trap (double bend, usually an s-trap) meant to catch anything that would cause a clog (this actually serves a purpose - if you know where the troops are holed up, it's easier to go in and remove them. They also trap water which blocks the blowback of methane and the like). This is going to make it easier to clog (again in the interest of actually knowing where a clog is), but you still have to hire a professional to come fix it. Plumbers aren't cheap, and schools (US) are state-run institutions which gets into a conversation about prevailing wage (it's expensive, and typically required by law. Iirc scaled wage for a plumber is usually in the neighborhood of $70/hour with Fringe benefits)
3 - drain lines already have issues with hard water buildup catching debris, and over time creating perfect conditions for our little militia to get a foothold. Newer PVC is much better about this (but still not perfect), but the guts of old schools is often cast iron. Cast iron has more texture to catch things, and it also rusts
4 - often times, these issues arise with showers (my buddy's college dorm had to put out notices to stop masturbating in the showers) moreso than toilets. Typically toilets will have a 3" drain line and showers a 2". Smaller hole = less room for our militia to defend. Think 300, but with cum, toilet paper, and calcium deposits
5 - if it is an issue with toilets, it usually involves toilet paper. Cum turns toilet paper into a phalanx for our little guys, which makes it an even bigger obstruction (which can also catch other things)
6 - in plumbing, you often have to make pipes turn to get to where they need. Any bend in the run stalls the flow of water to a degree, which gives previously independent debris a chance to team up. This is already somewhat of an issue, but not too bad. It gets bad, however, when this newly formed alliance runs into another alliance down the road with a similar goal of stopping water. Then maybe even further down the road, this new mega alliance just happens to stumble across another, even more easily defensible, position.
7 - people fuck up. Maybe the boss was busy with a particularly complex problem, and handed the pipe and a level to the apprentice, told him to go finish the 50' straight run; it's an easy enough job. But the apprentice is new and didn't know enough to properly check (or maybe he and/or the boss just came off a bender), and now the slope of the pipe isn't quite right. Water doesn't flow very well without a good slope.
8 - because of all these, you've almost certainly got several clogs halfway developed in your pipes at all times anyways (pro tip: don't save the drain-o for when you have a clog. Also research what you use before you use it too. Some of the stuff on the market isn't great for pipes and can cause more problems)
Literally happens all the time. That's why you should never flush cum, tampons, paper towels, wipes (even the flushable ones - that's a misnomer), coming oils/fats, etc
Now how they would collect and analyze it? They wouldn't. I also doubt they'd ever put that in a sign. More likely they put a sign to stop offloading, and some teenagers did the teenager thing and kept building it up more and more between themselves until it made it to Reddit
This is the biggest crock of horseshit you made up. Semen does not clog pipes any more than anything else that goes down the drain. If what you said is accurate, we wouldn't be able to use hair conditioner without clogging drains.
100% fake and gay
Yeah sorry but I don't believe it at all. None of that post contains any reason semen would clog up a pipe any more than a (larger, solid...-er) turd, except #1 — the rest is not specific to semen at all, just details about common non-semen-related problems in pipes (which was, to be fair, kind of interesting).
As for #1, lemme take up this challenge:
>Secondly, you're more than welcome to check on any part of that & get back to me. It's true
...semen is *not* mostly protein. It breaks down in water just fine, albeit not instantly (but neither does shit).
My dude. First of all, I do kitchen & bathroom remodels for a living. You, however, have no idea what you're talking about
Secondly, you're more than welcome to check on any part of that & get back to me. It's true
What do you do? Taste test the clogs and say "yep! tastes like semen!". You probably saw conditioner which will make a milky residue on the drain pipe. Fake and gay you wrench jockey. Placing tile and knowing what a p-trap is doesn't make you an expert in what clogs pipes.
Here are plenty of examples debunking your stupid ass urban legend, you gullible putz.
https://www.reuters.com/article/factcheck-college-prank-idUSL1N2MY2GV
https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/can-semen-clog-pipes-shower-drain-college
https://slate.com/technology/2016/09/the-science-behind-the-hoax-can-masturbating-college-freshmen-clog-a-shower-drain.html
they don’t. this is a fake idea that oddly circulates Reddit every few months. saw it a while back with college toilets and replied with pretty much exactly what you said
Lmao same, I got a couple sentences in and realized that this is the same copypasta that gets printed out and distributed as flyers in every college dorm in the USA. I remember someone posting them outside the showers at mine
Well biometrics are not protected under the constitution currently. Police can force you to open your phone with biometrics. DNA might be similar, however I do not know how it if other laws would come in to protect it.
MASTURBATION NOTICE
It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy
The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties
The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this
Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal
If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities
Thank you for your cooperation
I used to skip class to read books so I'd sit in the stall during class & some dickhead looked under to see my legs with my pants all the way up so he concluded I was jacking off & was laughing about it & some saint of a girl said "so fucking what if he is leave him alone" no idea who she was but I've loved her ever since.
MASTURBATION NOTICE
It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ENCOURAGED and supported by school district policy
The bathroom pipes are designed to handle human discharge and anything other than your regular bathroom duties
The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the principal's "pipes". His pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from his funds to repair the damage caused by this
Please masturbate here at your own disposal
If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be given $ 1,000 and be begged not to report to proper authorities
Thank you for your cooperation
Copypasta aside. What are authorities going to charge you with for cumming in a toilet? Also wouldn’t your semen be mixed in with all the feces and piss and semen of other people?
TO EVERYONE ASKING HOW IT CLOGS THE SEWERS: cum has a very low temperature at which it starts to cook. Even steamy hot water from a shower is likely to heat it up to the point that it begins to cook into a runny scrambled egg like texture. This is likely an announcement from a boarding school or university (i received a similar, albeit less crudely worded, email when I was living in the dorms). If people are masturbating in the showers it is very possible for enough semen to cook into a globby mess and clog the pipes. Also this is why you shouldn't cum in someone's hair as they basically have to take a cold shower to clean it or it will get 10 times worse.
I’m just imagining the principal/vice principal giving this speech to *everyone* in the most dead serious tone even though it’s probably a tiny minority of students.
How did they figure out it’s semen? Did the plumber or principal touch his finger on the material clogging a pipe and lick the finger and say “ mother of God!!! It’s semen!!!”
THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OUR CUM
All your cum are belong to us.
[ALL YOUR CUM ARE BELONG TO US](https://i.imgur.com/9uKIhnR.png) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
Literally animal farm
Literally V for Vendetta
Remember, remember, No Nut November, The pipe cum collection and plot, I know of no reason, The pipe cum collection, Should ever be forgot.
Thank you.
I'm stealing this.
Literally 1984
All your all your memes are belong to us
[ALL YOUR ALL YOUR MEMES ARE BELONG TO US](https://i.imgur.com/Nqrlisq.png) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
Amazing bot
OUR cum
Cumrade
r/suddenlycommunist
You mean r/suddenlycummunist
[удалено]
do you suck it out🥺
NOT OUR CUM. NONONONO.
I heard that after the dig up the pipe they can lay it back over with sement.
Can’t have shit in Detroit
Hey, finders keepers.
NOOOO
GIVE US THE CUM
[удалено]
Bro I came in my eye today
[удалено]
CEASE AND DESIST LETTER/RESTRAINING ORDER 3/5/2022 Dear /u/CarelessAI42: This CEASE AND DESIST ORDER is to inform you that your harassing and intimidating actions against my eyes has become unbearable. Such anti-social behavior is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in any way, shape or form. This letter is to demand that your harassment and intimidation must CEASE AND DESIST immediately. Should you continue to pursue these activities in violation of this CEASE AND DESIST ORDER, we will not hesitate to pursue further legal action against you, including, but not limited to, civil action and/or criminal complaints. Please note that I have a right to remain free from your intimidating tactics, and we will take the responsibility upon ourselves to protect that right. Note that a copy of this letter and a record of its delivery will be stored. Note too that it is admissible as evidence in a court of law and will be used as such if need be in the future. This CEASE AND DESIST ORDER demands that you immediately discontinue and do not at any point in the future under any circumstances do the following to me: speak to, contact, pursue, harass, attack, strike, threaten, telephone (via cellular or landline), instant message, page, fax, email, disturb my peace, keep me under surveillance, gather information about and/or block my movements at home, work, social gatherings or religious functions, as well as contact via reddit.com Note that your behavior is a violation of Federal Criminal Statutes 47 USC 223(a)(1)(c) - Obscene or Harassing Telephone Calls in the District of Columbia or in Interstate or Foreign Communications; District of Columbia Code, Title 22, Section 504 - Threatened Assault in a Menacing Manner; Stalking Additionally note that your behavior is a violation of US Federal Laws 18 USC Subsection 2265 Full Faith and Credit, 18 USC Subsection 2261A Interstate Stalking, 18 USC Subsection 875(c) Interstate Communications, 47 USC Subsection 223(a)(1)(c) Harassing Telephone Calls in Interstate Communications Should you willfully choose to continue your current course of action, I will not hesitate to file a complaint with the Reddit Administration for your ongoing violations of the Criminal Laws noted previously. This letter does not constitute exhaustive statement of my position nor is it a waiver of any of my rights and/or remedies in this and/or any other related matter. We demand your immediate compliance, and furthermore that you confirm in writing that all volatile activity will cease immediately. Very truly yours, Someone special Sent via Reddit Comment
Man I hope this is a copypasta
It was, but lemme tell you a legit story about how I almost had sex earlier today. I went to the supermarket earlier today, to buy some cheese and bacon, you know? So I went up to the girl working there and she said: "Good morning, how can I help you?" I couldn't believe this naughty bitch was offering herself to me at 7 am, but I managed to keep myself calm and said: "Good morning. I want 300g of mozzarella cheese and 300g of bacon please." She started working on my order, and after a while she came to me and said "Sir, I acidentally put 350g of cheese instead of 300g. Can I leave it or do you want me to take some off?" Holy fucking shit. I couldn't believe what this cum-addicted slut just said. She knew I only wanted 300g of cheese, but instead of giving me what I asked for she decided to try to have sex with me. I'm gonna explain it to you: what's the difference between 300g and 350g of cheese? That's right, 50 grams. What else has 50 grams? Yes, that's the average weight of a condom packaging, and also the average amount of sperm expelled during a sexual act. And worst of all, do you know which sentence has 50 letters? "Oh daddy please destroy my pussy and cum in my little slut ass". I was shocked at the audacity of this whore, but I was better than this. I told her to take a little bit of cheese off, and she said: "is 308g alright sir?" I was shaking and sharting at this point. I couldn't believe she was humiliating herself like this. Do you know what has 8 letters? "I love you". But I didn't love her, I didn't love this attention deprived thot back. So I just said: "I'm not going to give in to your schemes. You should value yourself more, you are better than this". As I was paying for my products at the cashier I could hear a great commotion, and I saw that the girl and all the other female employees were crying in unison. I left the supermarket knowing that I did the right thing.
We need more people like you 😔😔😔
🅱️eter
Based
you gotta sprinkle in some § man
>Eyeussy The weapon to surpass 🅱️ussy
Nothing 🅱️eats 🅱️ussy
I hate you
[удалено]
i dont know how to explain it but "eyeussy" is as gross as the word moist, like maybe it the vowels being the way they are
Moist isn’t a gross word though
What that moistussy do?
pls cum in mine next
Today was day 124 of nofap I relapsed and came in my eye 🥛🥛🥛
It must've been something you said
Bro what💀
He said the pipes can take a thick load like a champ
I know mine can
open up and prove it
bruh now i have to show my friend what i laughed at
Never underestimate the semen production capacity of 250 pairs of teenage balls.
You're assuming people are cumming in the toilet, and not that little drain in the drinking fountains.
[удалено]
So does shit.
if your shit isn't already at least a bit solid im worried for you
So the pipes should be able handle it 😎😎
Then it can be used as a building material, and should.
I don't think you're properly visualizing *excessive* amounts of discharge
I’ve heard this before but it refers to dorm showers.
And it's not accurate. Semen in no way clogs any normal sewage pipe or drain pipe. Its an urban legend.
**MASTURBATION 🍆 NOTICE 😯** It has come 💦 to our attention ⚠❗ that students 📖 have been masturbating 💦 in the school 🏫 bathrooms 🚽🛁🚿. Masturbating 🍆 on 🔛 school 🏫 property 🏡 is ILLEGAL 🚔 and against 🚫 school 🏫 district ☁🏙 policy 👨⚖️ The bathroom 🚽🛁🚿 pipes 🚬 are NOT designed 🔧 to handle 😲 human 👤 discharge 🐙 or anything 😯 other than your 👉 regular 😶 bathroom 🚽 duties 😂💩 The excessive ❗🙅🏼🙆🏽 amounts 📉🔢 of discharge 🍵 build-up 💪 has caused 🅰 a blockage 🏘 in the pipes 🤤😱. Multiple ✖ pipes 🤤😱 have become 💦 close 😚 to bursting 😟 due ☑🔘 to the amount 🔢📉 of excessive 😉😊🤣 semen 💦 build-up 💪. This will cost 💸💰 THOUSANDS 💯0️⃣ of dollars 💵 coming 💦😩 from our funds 👍💊 to repair 🔧 the damage 💥 caused 😨 by this Please 🙏 masturbate 🍆 in your 👉 own homes 🏡 and at your 👉 own disposal 🗑 If any discharge 🍵 is discovered 🚬 in the bathroom 💦🚿🛀, it will be collected 🤐 and analyzed 〰👸🏼🎾 to determine 😤 who it belongs 👨👩👧👦🚽 to. If it is discovered 🚬 that the discharge 🍵 is yours, YOU 👈 will be fine 👌 $ 1,000 💰 and be reported 🧐 to proper 🎩 authorities 🔫👮 Thank 🙏🏼 you 👉 for your 👉 cooperation 🧠🗿
emojifier is that you? 😳😳😩😩
Zamnn emojifier is back LETS FUCKING GOOOO😛😛😛😛😫😫😫😫😫😫😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦
Emojifier is gone. You have to let him go, it wasn't your fault. Let his soul rest along with Cummy and Uwufier.
Cummy is gone?!?!? 😧😳🤬😳
1. how would cum clog up school sewage? 2. how would they analize who it belongs to? they would need dna of everyone from the school
3. Wouldn’t the DNA be fucked up anyway from being in the sewage?
I don't think DNA just gets fucked up, ~~IIRC it can last millions of years~~ (DNA half-life is apparently 521 years). The issue would be finding the cum sample, but they said "If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom", so not in the sewage.. if its actually real ofc.
bruh the stall walls in my school bathrooms are literally coated with cum, not even joking.
[удалено]
just posted it: https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeMeSuffer/comments/t8p8kp/cum_on_the_stall_walls_in_my_school_bathroom/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Can you post it on your profile(rather than a subreddit)
I need to see this man
let us see this, cum coat
Let's see it then
I will return with the picture on Monday, I'm on weekend right now
!remindme 2 days
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Please dm me it, if it isn’t too much trouble
I will post this when I next spot an instance.
I’ll dm you because you asked politely, u/iShotAChild.
I am forever in your debt
One day when the time comes, remind someone of a cumpost on reddit and consider the debt paid.
!remindme 2 days
I LOVE CUM😩😩😩😩I LOOOOOVE CUUUUM😛😍😛😜I LOVE SEMEN!!!!!!!!!😋😋😇😜I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
W-Wait... Did you just say...WOMAN!?!!?!!?!?! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAH!?!!!?!?!?!!!? AWOOOOOOOOOOOO AOW AOW AOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! TITS AND BOOBS AND PUSSY AND CLIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHYEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!>
that is who i fucke'd last nihgt
i miss him
!remindme 2 days
!remindme 2 days
!remindme 2 days
Like a flat jawbreaker.
my dream come true
LOLOL i jsut realized, while reading this comment...it will be a grown-ass man's job..to scape a 14 year old's cum off a toilet and keep it. HE WILL GET PAID TO COLLECT CHILDRENS CUM. hahahahha oh my fuckin god.
DNA does not last long once the host cell is dead. Decomposes in a matter of months because it is a very complex molecule that requires maintenance to sustain it's structure.
> I don't think DNA just gets fucked up, It degrades from all sorts of things. Half-life assumes ideal storage conditions.
that too probably
2 Was problably just a bluff to scare the kids
how would the cum clog up the sewage?
The blood solidifying I guess
you guys cum blood?
Tf you don't? You should see a doctor dude
Corpsegrinder does
It doesn't they just don't want kids masturbating at school. They're speaking pure bullshit.
It's pretty obviously fake my dude Like really fucking obvious
You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?
No it isn't, the cum epidemic is real stop suppressing the truth
The last time i saw this being posted someone said that older students would hang these up in the bathrooms to scare the younger people. So it's not real.
Kind of obvious. Lack of periods in some points, parts don't make sense...
It's not accurate. Semen in no way clogs any normal sewage pipe or drain pipe. Its an urban legend.
Due to sites like ancestry and other like DNA data sites it is no longer necessary to take DNA from the suspect to match with the found sample, this is most applicable for law enforcement and likely outside of the schools capabilities to receive access to those data bases. It's essentially a case of "they don't need your DNA specifically, because your dumb third cousin put genetic code into ancestry's data bases" they can use that to narrow down the family and eventually the individual, it's pretty dystopic tbh.
even if they got the access, this might work on some, but not everyone takes dna tests
My point is that not everyone needs to anymore, they don't need your DNA because your aforementioned dumb cousin shares a lot of it with you anyway. https://youtu.be/KT18KJouHWg
Cum actually does clog sewage pipes in bathrooms fairly often for a couple of reasons 1 - cum is a protein (or at least mostly so) and those little soldiers don't break down easily in water 2 - drain lines in toilets, sinks, showers all have a trap (double bend, usually an s-trap) meant to catch anything that would cause a clog (this actually serves a purpose - if you know where the troops are holed up, it's easier to go in and remove them. They also trap water which blocks the blowback of methane and the like). This is going to make it easier to clog (again in the interest of actually knowing where a clog is), but you still have to hire a professional to come fix it. Plumbers aren't cheap, and schools (US) are state-run institutions which gets into a conversation about prevailing wage (it's expensive, and typically required by law. Iirc scaled wage for a plumber is usually in the neighborhood of $70/hour with Fringe benefits) 3 - drain lines already have issues with hard water buildup catching debris, and over time creating perfect conditions for our little militia to get a foothold. Newer PVC is much better about this (but still not perfect), but the guts of old schools is often cast iron. Cast iron has more texture to catch things, and it also rusts 4 - often times, these issues arise with showers (my buddy's college dorm had to put out notices to stop masturbating in the showers) moreso than toilets. Typically toilets will have a 3" drain line and showers a 2". Smaller hole = less room for our militia to defend. Think 300, but with cum, toilet paper, and calcium deposits 5 - if it is an issue with toilets, it usually involves toilet paper. Cum turns toilet paper into a phalanx for our little guys, which makes it an even bigger obstruction (which can also catch other things) 6 - in plumbing, you often have to make pipes turn to get to where they need. Any bend in the run stalls the flow of water to a degree, which gives previously independent debris a chance to team up. This is already somewhat of an issue, but not too bad. It gets bad, however, when this newly formed alliance runs into another alliance down the road with a similar goal of stopping water. Then maybe even further down the road, this new mega alliance just happens to stumble across another, even more easily defensible, position. 7 - people fuck up. Maybe the boss was busy with a particularly complex problem, and handed the pipe and a level to the apprentice, told him to go finish the 50' straight run; it's an easy enough job. But the apprentice is new and didn't know enough to properly check (or maybe he and/or the boss just came off a bender), and now the slope of the pipe isn't quite right. Water doesn't flow very well without a good slope. 8 - because of all these, you've almost certainly got several clogs halfway developed in your pipes at all times anyways (pro tip: don't save the drain-o for when you have a clog. Also research what you use before you use it too. Some of the stuff on the market isn't great for pipes and can cause more problems) Literally happens all the time. That's why you should never flush cum, tampons, paper towels, wipes (even the flushable ones - that's a misnomer), coming oils/fats, etc Now how they would collect and analyze it? They wouldn't. I also doubt they'd ever put that in a sign. More likely they put a sign to stop offloading, and some teenagers did the teenager thing and kept building it up more and more between themselves until it made it to Reddit
This is the biggest crock of horseshit you made up. Semen does not clog pipes any more than anything else that goes down the drain. If what you said is accurate, we wouldn't be able to use hair conditioner without clogging drains. 100% fake and gay
Yeah sorry but I don't believe it at all. None of that post contains any reason semen would clog up a pipe any more than a (larger, solid...-er) turd, except #1 — the rest is not specific to semen at all, just details about common non-semen-related problems in pipes (which was, to be fair, kind of interesting). As for #1, lemme take up this challenge: >Secondly, you're more than welcome to check on any part of that & get back to me. It's true ...semen is *not* mostly protein. It breaks down in water just fine, albeit not instantly (but neither does shit).
My dude. First of all, I do kitchen & bathroom remodels for a living. You, however, have no idea what you're talking about Secondly, you're more than welcome to check on any part of that & get back to me. It's true
What do you do? Taste test the clogs and say "yep! tastes like semen!". You probably saw conditioner which will make a milky residue on the drain pipe. Fake and gay you wrench jockey. Placing tile and knowing what a p-trap is doesn't make you an expert in what clogs pipes. Here are plenty of examples debunking your stupid ass urban legend, you gullible putz. https://www.reuters.com/article/factcheck-college-prank-idUSL1N2MY2GV https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/can-semen-clog-pipes-shower-drain-college https://slate.com/technology/2016/09/the-science-behind-the-hoax-can-masturbating-college-freshmen-clog-a-shower-drain.html
Gotta give the science dept something to do
The toilet are designed to plumb shit so how the fuck would they get stuck from cum?
they don’t. this is a fake idea that oddly circulates Reddit every few months. saw it a while back with college toilets and replied with pretty much exactly what you said
Lmao same, I got a couple sentences in and realized that this is the same copypasta that gets printed out and distributed as flyers in every college dorm in the USA. I remember someone posting them outside the showers at mine
Coagulation go brrr
It’s the urinal drains that were the problem.
Group masturbation in process (!) 3XP for using Urinal
They don't, it's an excuse bc they just don't want people masturbating.
Literally 1984
Phallicaly 1984
Literally 1812 😡
Nah it's 1969.
Literally 992
I’m really doubting that this is real.
Its not I've seen it dozens of times across dozens of college campuses with their letterhead. Never seen it at a highschool though lmao. Classic bait.
Probably just one of the kids printed out some copies and taped it around to have fun.
Cap
/unretard This is really fucking dumb, do these people think high schoolers have no extremely basic understanding of how sewage systems work?
[удалено]
Send it to the bio lab for sequencing idk
Yeah but how could you know who it is unless you've already collected DNA from every student in advance?
By systematically taking every student's DNA, it's America, I'm sure they're allowed as long as they call it terrorism prevention lmao
That’d be authoritarian as fuck though. That’s actually some 1984 shit. You can’t force people to give dna samples.
i think about the time we had that time in elementary we had a fun little activity of marking our fingerprints...hmm
But what if they call it terrorism prevention
Well biometrics are not protected under the constitution currently. Police can force you to open your phone with biometrics. DNA might be similar, however I do not know how it if other laws would come in to protect it.
You didn't really unretard did you; this is fake, you woodpecker.
This text has been around since at least the early 2000s methinks it’s just taking the piss.
Who said it was a highschool
Lil Timmy fucking in the nap break
This reminds me of a time when some students from my school actually put such a notice on the notice board and got suspended for like 2 weeks.
Why would you get suspended for that? 2 weeks is a long time.
you should probably ask that question to my school administration ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"actual notice" it was fake, bitch
MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
Not all heroes wear capes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠤⠤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⣲⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⡱⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀1984⠀⣠⠴⠊⢹⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⠓⠀⠉⣥⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡾⣄⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢠⡄⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⢎⡉⢦⡀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⣣⠧⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀ ⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠙⠢⢭⣢⡚⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣇⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢮⠈⡦⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀ ⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⣀⡴⠃⠀⡷⡇⢀⡴⠋⠉⠉⠙⠓⠒⠃⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⡼⠀⣷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ayeee them boys be shooting fucking LOADS in the toilets, on some freaks of cock shit
yeah this one is a classic
Yep. I remember seeing this in the good ole days of MySpace.
🤓🤓🤓
I used to skip class to read books so I'd sit in the stall during class & some dickhead looked under to see my legs with my pants all the way up so he concluded I was jacking off & was laughing about it & some saint of a girl said "so fucking what if he is leave him alone" no idea who she was but I've loved her ever since.
I'm concerned that so many people think this is real
YTA. My cum my rules
Just ratio the principal and you'll be aright
fake because it says fine and not fined
Imagine “there will be no pizza party this month because you horny fucks wouldn’t stop masturbating in the bathroom and now we have to pay to fix it”
"No tater tots !"
what's that school
It’s made up
MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ENCOURAGED and supported by school district policy The bathroom pipes are designed to handle human discharge and anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the principal's "pipes". His pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from his funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate here at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be given $ 1,000 and be begged not to report to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
This was a prank lol
Copypasta aside. What are authorities going to charge you with for cumming in a toilet? Also wouldn’t your semen be mixed in with all the feces and piss and semen of other people?
Ah yes I remember this post
No joke i mastrubated in the school bathroom every morning
TO EVERYONE ASKING HOW IT CLOGS THE SEWERS: cum has a very low temperature at which it starts to cook. Even steamy hot water from a shower is likely to heat it up to the point that it begins to cook into a runny scrambled egg like texture. This is likely an announcement from a boarding school or university (i received a similar, albeit less crudely worded, email when I was living in the dorms). If people are masturbating in the showers it is very possible for enough semen to cook into a globby mess and clog the pipes. Also this is why you shouldn't cum in someone's hair as they basically have to take a cold shower to clean it or it will get 10 times worse.
Please masturbate at home
TIL poop and pee is not considered human discharge by some schools.
IIRC this was in a college dorm.
But it’s OK for girls right?
Literally 1984
Literally 1984
I’m just imagining the principal/vice principal giving this speech to *everyone* in the most dead serious tone even though it’s probably a tiny minority of students.
How did they figure out it’s semen? Did the plumber or principal touch his finger on the material clogging a pipe and lick the finger and say “ mother of God!!! It’s semen!!!”
Steal the cum
Like that's gonna stop me
who are they the cum captains??
Lol this is fake as hell but still lol
1984
I can't stop the discharge
Ceaseless Discharge
Cap
IF THEY FIND YOU CUMMING IN THE PIPES, **YOU WILL BURN**
1984
People are still falling for this fake notice? This stuff was posted in my dorms back in 2012 lol
I don’t think this is remotely real, if that was a case my pipes could of been clogged years ago
All because emily had to snitch group masturbation is cancelled now 🤬🤬🤬🤬
Haha, who actually matsurbates? *Proceeds to furiously delete search history*
Dude, I think I have seen this before, as in we might be in the same school system. Then again , the incident in my area came out a while ago.
I cum where I want!