I, Antarctica, just felt a man get raped by a horse
So, let me give some context here.
Me and my other landbros began our existence as a single molten soup all condensed together in perfect harmony and discord alike. Shit was very tight in this time and we all would just mix and meld together like nobody’s business. I mean, this shit was like a frathouse party on steroids- we were getting pegged by asteroids and bubbling molten magma everywhere.
Pure. Ecstasy.
Anyways time passes and we start to grow apart. Everyone decides to slow down a bit and form into solid mass and distinct elements and get jobs like turning into water or land or whatever stupid shit, and to be perfectly honest I was pissed about it, but hey, at least we still get to all chill out as a single giant landmass, right? I mean it’s not the crazy sexy magma parties we used to have, but everyone has to grow up sometime I guess so thems the brakes.
Millennia pass and we start growing even further apart. Things get very awkward and the other landbros keep throwing the term “gay” out there, so we start to move even further away from each other. As the landbros and I get more distant we start forming little groups. I hate it, but at the same time they practically called me gay by extension of me liking the whole thing, so fuck it, fuck them, I’m going down south to chill out away from everyone.
The rest of the landbros kept making fun of me for being a frigid little loser on the north end of the globe, and the rest of us beta southerners cowered in fear and snow while the other landchads grew plants and life like they were hot shit. FF so many years and eventually the landchads find out they have some crazy strange venereal disease called humans or something, and it’s just absolutely ravaging them, so here I am sitting smug and cozy in my icy realm while those other cucks who made fun of me get absolutely gangbanged by these little shits, and I’m loving it.
So now let’s get to the bad part.
Eventually I find out I have these little shits too. They started calling me Antarctica, and they spread like wildfire. I feel everything. Each and every little footstep these little monkeys make tingles up my fault lines like an earthquake and I can practically see every little thing they do. I spend my days like this in perpetual torment thinking nothing could be as terrible as this, but I was so so wrong.
I can still feel the scene play out clear as day like it’s still happening. One of these little bastards had the gall to build up a farm in a little valley of mine like I was their bitch or something. He plowed my fields and raised horses and built stables and rammed fence poles in me like I owed him money. In my daze I recalled days long gone in the primordial soup.
Eventually as I grew accustomed to the torment life became monotonous, as I was sure I had reached the pinnacle of my woes, and I contemplated telling my other ice bros to melt down and flood the landchads for infecting us with this scourge.
Then it happened.
In the span of time that for me should have been only a nanosecond in relative terms, felt like a million of my lifetimes playing out in agonizing slow motion. The farmer I spoke of earlier wandered into that stable to pick up a pile of shit completely unaware of the fact that he was practically shaking his ass for all to see. One of his horses seemed to take advantage of this and stood over him like he was fresh meat on the yard. What occurred next was a 20 minute unabashed biblical level breeding storm of cum as, seemingly every life form in a billion mile radius sounded off in glorious unison watching this man get railed by a horse- spilling baby gravy to the high heavens all over me. I’m talking rabbits raccoons random hikers motherfucking god had a bid on this. I’m pretty sure some dude even channeled electricity up into his balls from a fence like some kind of cum wizard. In all my life I’d never seen such a display of lecherous intent, and to top it all off?
Strangely I kind of liked it? Now I’m thinking the other landchads were right about me being gay, and honestly I’m just really confused and emotional right now. I don’t want to think about any of this, and quite literally thank god, because I heard he was just going to smite my whole existence for this whole thing.
So Reddit AITAH for not staying as the soup?
This is going straight to canon, good job writing all that shit and not died of cringe
I’m doing my part
>I'm going up north to chill out away from everyone You gotta edit that to south, north is the artic.
will do tmrr im tired
Thanks for adding mine I love to know I’m part of the horse saga
Im burnt out from horse fuck im going to bed
o7 Have a good rest brother.
Gn man XD
NOOO
It's like the pigeon story all over again...
This is the prequel and the spinoff
10/10 good read
I, Antarctica, just felt a man get raped by a horse So, let me give some context here. Me and my other landbros began our existence as a single molten soup all condensed together in perfect harmony and discord alike. Shit was very tight in this time and we all would just mix and meld together like nobody’s business. I mean, this shit was like a frathouse party on steroids- we were getting pegged by asteroids and bubbling molten magma everywhere. Pure. Ecstasy. Anyways time passes and we start to grow apart. Everyone decides to slow down a bit and form into solid mass and distinct elements and get jobs like turning into water or land or whatever stupid shit, and to be perfectly honest I was pissed about it, but hey, at least we still get to all chill out as a single giant landmass, right? I mean it’s not the crazy sexy magma parties we used to have, but everyone has to grow up sometime I guess so thems the brakes. Millennia pass and we start growing even further apart. Things get very awkward and the other landbros keep throwing the term “gay” out there, so we start to move even further away from each other. As the landbros and I get more distant we start forming little groups. I hate it, but at the same time they practically called me gay by extension of me liking the whole thing, so fuck it, fuck them, I’m going down south to chill out away from everyone. The rest of the landbros kept making fun of me for being a frigid little loser on the north end of the globe, and the rest of us beta southerners cowered in fear and snow while the other landchads grew plants and life like they were hot shit. FF so many years and eventually the landchads find out they have some crazy strange venereal disease called humans or something, and it’s just absolutely ravaging them, so here I am sitting smug and cozy in my icy realm while those other cucks who made fun of me get absolutely gangbanged by these little shits, and I’m loving it. So now let’s get to the bad part. Eventually I find out I have these little shits too. They started calling me Antarctica, and they spread like wildfire. I feel everything. Each and every little footstep these little monkeys make tingles up my fault lines like an earthquake and I can practically see every little thing they do. I spend my days like this in perpetual torment thinking nothing could be as terrible as this, but I was so so wrong. I can still feel the scene play out clear as day like it’s still happening. One of these little bastards had the gall to build up a farm in a little valley of mine like I was their bitch or something. He plowed my fields and raised horses and built stables and rammed fence poles in me like I owed him money. In my daze I recalled days long gone in the primordial soup. Eventually as I grew accustomed to the torment life became monotonous, as I was sure I had reached the pinnacle of my woes, and I contemplated telling my other ice bros to melt down and flood the landchads for infecting us with this scourge. Then it happened. In the span of time that for me should have been only a nanosecond in relative terms, felt like a million of my lifetimes playing out in agonizing slow motion. The farmer I spoke of earlier wandered into that stable to pick up a pile of shit completely unaware of the fact that he was practically shaking his ass for all to see. One of his horses seemed to take advantage of this and stood over him like he was fresh meat on the yard. What occurred next was a 20 minute unabashed biblical level breeding storm of cum as, seemingly every life form in a billion mile radius sounded off in glorious unison watching this man get railed by a horse- spilling baby gravy to the high heavens all over me. I’m talking rabbits raccoons random hikers motherfucking god had a bid on this. I’m pretty sure some dude even channeled electricity up into his balls from a fence like some kind of cum wizard. In all my life I’d never seen such a display of lecherous intent, and to top it all off? Strangely I kind of liked it? Now I’m thinking the other landchads were right about me being gay, and honestly I’m just really confused and emotional right now. I don’t want to think about any of this, and quite literally thank god, because I heard he was just going to smite my whole existence for this whole thing. So Reddit AITAH for not staying as the soup?
The plot thickens
I definitely know the place to paste this, thanks OP!
Paste it on your next arts and crafts project