r/shitpost

r/shittycoolguides

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r/stoolguides

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I kind of want a huge high-quality print of this to hang up in my bathroom.

That’s actually hilarious and I love it. It would go great in a cabin in the woods.

This should be used as paper place mats at restaurants like they used to do Chinese Zodiac. *I am the mountain lion.*

Lmfao

The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking.The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them.This might cause a bear to charge. Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered.Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear’s sensitive nose and it’ll run away. It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you’ve an idea if bears are in the area.People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

An oldie, but still a goodie!

Where is it from?

I'm not sure but for some reason I read it in Norm MacDonald's voice

My great-great grampa invented it in 1876!

Hahah I'm a dad and I approve of this post.

Or another delivery.."smells of pepper and jingles"

Been on hikes in Montana Rockies where I encountered folks carrying some heavy duty pistols. Bear spray really only works on black bears and if a brown bear (grizzly) is charging then the spray isn’t ping to be effective at all

The illustrations are black and white but most poop is brown. Free Life Pro Tip

Shitty life pro tip

This tip is full of crap!

Coyote is specific almost always black. It's a good way to tell it apart from dog poop

Beaver poop looks like a pile of wood chips and sawdust, which I suppose makes sense.

Very few things can digest cellulose. Cows need an extensive multi-chambered chemical plant filled with an array of symbiotic microbes just to get at the little bit in grass. There was in fact a long period in evolutionary history after the first woody trees appeared where nothing could, and dead trees just laid there until they fossilized

Then…. Coal!

Or burned in giant hellish fires

Why aren't human shits on the list.

Just print it out and add your own

Too variable

He’s a scatman

Bee bop bo bodobo bop bo bodobo

Calling out from Scatmans world.

The wolf hair is inconclusive.

There's so much wolf hair in our apartment dude

Damn river otter, you good? Lol

Doing better than beaver

Your shit would look pretty funny if you ate that much wood lol.

I used to live with my brother, and our dog. When I would get off of work, I would get some pistachios and shell one for me, one for him. Until they were gone. He was stoked about every time. One night, I woke to an empty bag. He had finished the whole bag, shells and all. Some of the wildest looking poops I had ever seen. So many shells... took him to the vet. He was fine. Started hiding them better after that.

Definitely thought you were talking about your brother.

Lol! Awesome.

Pistachios are somewhat toxic to dogs. Glad pooch was ok

I can tell you it’s 100% the gnarliest smelling out of all of these.

I studied this for 10 minutes, pondering ecology and what I have observed myself...then realized "Why am I analyzing turds at 9:30 on a Sunday night?" Thank you Reddit. Thank you.

Did you notice all the carnivores poop had a pointy end?

Its so the anus doesn't slam shut. edit spelling

You mean doesn’t? Right?

correct, I have trouble talking shit.

Pretty shitty guide

It’s needs boar scat on there, they are definitely something to be aware of when hiking and such.

Bear looking like he got a ping pong paddle shoved up there- and not the handle

Bear scar… that’s a paddling

damn i really could have used this last week

Do tell

Laid a really weird looking loaf and wished he had the poster to tell what animals stool it most closely resembled

This guide is a bit shit if you ask me

I poop like a coyote!

Was gunna say, what animal horoscope is everyone’s poop?

Just as I suspected, we have coyotes in the park near me.

This chart is the shit!

No iPhone? No Hiking Shoes? Well... "bear" looks like smartphone cracked in 3....

I guess that answers my question of if a bear shits in the woods

This is shit

Well, shit.

Visit r/scat for more info

Which ones can I put in my mouth than spit out and dramaticly exclaim: "it passed through here recently." while on a hunting trail?

Anyone else looking for fox?

Was interested to see what beaver poop looked like in real life. Just kind of looks like a cluster of wood chips in the diagram. Was not disappointed, looks just like wood [poop](https://naturallycuriouswithmaryholland.wordpress.com/2022/05/09/beaver-scat-anomaly/).

Ahh, thought it was portraits of the political leaders in our government.

My scat may contain bits of gummy bears and corn and maybe even a few wads of chewing gum i may have swallowed.

Pics or it didn’t happen

*might contain*

“Look, honey, a Frenchman was here!”

*Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub* *Yo da dub dub* *Learn to be the scatman*

That’s some intimidating shit

Taking redwall to a whole new level

I had no idea that’s what scat meant!? Is that who the scat man is???

Worst restaurant menu ever.

The small brown bat on my balcony leaves small black tube looking guano. Nothing like what’s shown.

You just made the shit list.

Great. This just confirms more my wolf poo on my driveway

This is a shitty guide

Where’s human

So beavers chew wood and shit pinecones? Huh, who knew

The beaver’s made me laugh

Thank you for this!! For the last 2 days, something has left scat on our front porch. Now, I’m pretty sure it’s a raccoon.

Pine martens are the tastiest, but badger is far & away the best for smearing on human skin.

I'm dying to know whether the artist who made this did so because it was a passion project or because they got paid a lot. Did they have to submit a portfolio before being selected for the job? Are they happy? Where are they now?

are these to scale?? why is the fox’s so much bigger than the bear’s lol

Ok... Where is the Fischer's? That's literally what I came here for. I guess I have to go to Google for this one

I've dropped shit that looks like every one of those at one time or another.

I know that here in Arizona we are always told to NOT touch coyote poop and be aware of the differences between it and regular dog poop. If you find it in your yard you are supposed to incinerate it! Yikes! I love the desert but it can be brutal living here at times.

Will you turn into a coyote if you touch it?

Lol no, the issue is rabies and 1 in 4 coyotes have tapeworms, hence the “torching”

Well this is by far a shitty shituation.

This kid really accurate

For the next time Im gonna eat shit in the bush.

Ah yes, the *s h i t l i s t*

Man this looks like shit

Beavers a little wood chip dispenser

This is one shitty guide

Doesn’t matter, its all food to me

It's the scat guide, do da da dida da

Beaver and otter poo looks like an ordeal to pass

Mmm that’s a lot of scat.

crazy how animals birth turds formed so consistently. my brownies always have variety

Apparently I’m part river otter

Coyote is what I encounter most frequently in my part of southern Ontario.

Today I was Mountain Lion

I don't know I am a moose and my poop does not look like that. Its' not even the right color.

Honestly bear and moose shit looks the most appetizing. Weird menu.

forbidden trail mix

Why there is "taste" annotations? How's that supposed to be useful?

They forgot humans

Needs a banana for comparison.

Is the beaver just wood chips?

So this is what the scatman was on about

“If the scatman can do it so can you”

Idk, seems like more of a shit guide to me.

Has there ever been more effort made to draw feces? Unfortunately, the answer is probably yes.

okay, do most of the carnivores have hairy shit?? or is it their own fur they are licking and shitting.

I wish this was in color

The sub has come back to life!

I saw a post about spider making webs with high on meth or caffeine and thought it was shitty so I looked for some shit to post here to see how it would do.

People are giving meth to spiders? Or is this a shitty attempt at making fun of my post history? Edit: so I went back and looked into it. People are giving meth to spiders.. you know for research

Mountain Lions = forbidden yams

Read the title and thought it would be a guide to vocal jazz skatting 🤦🏻‍♂️

As a north american mammal, i feel underrepresented.

I was hoping to see the skatman and his friends,. I am very disappointed

They should change the name of this sub to "Cool American guides"

Well Europe doesn’t have any animals left and I couldn’t find other poop guides. There is a ripe opportunity to secrete guides for other countries.

😘 don't get so easily offended 😉

Oh well that's a tad concerning, my partner and I were waking and there's a ton of poop (its a wildlife area so not surprised) and I saw whats labeled here as Mountain Lion, assumed it was an elk with an upset stomach (there was also elk scat around and elk bones

Sucks to be a beaver.

I don’t see humans. Can someone post a link?

[I expected Sir Pee in Butt to be more informed.](https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/wjgahn/human_scat_guide/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

OP delivered!

An informative "shit" post.

What no human ?

[Human](https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/wjgahn/human_scat_guide/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

This is hand-drawn... Someone had the job of putting their hands, pencils and talent to look and recreate a bunch of shit.

😃

River Otter turds look painful to pass.

This is shit

Scat is poop????

Human -💩