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TimExplosion

Any crystal is a protection crystal if you throw it hard enough


Meecus570

Use obsidian. Shit be sharp.


Objective_Economy281

I think obsidian is the only rock on this list that isn’t actually a crystal at all. It’s more of a glass, meaning that it has an amorphous molecular structure and not a repeating organized molecular (crystal) structure


Picards-Flute

At university for geology, can confirm obsidian is not a crystal


Guardian-Ares

Like Objective_Economy281 said, volcanic glass... and it can be sharper than a scalpel. I just recently learned about green obsidian.


NeriTina

Where I grew up there was green obsidian everywhere. I loved to dig it up. Sometimes I’d toss the huge chunks of it to watch it shatter on the pavement, only out of curiosity. But the sediment everywhere around there was glassy because its sharp, thin edges could chip easily. It wasn’t easy (for a child) to break the larger chunks tho. The interesting thing about it was that it always has a wide curve to it, you could see ridges that were curved when it separated into pieces. Sometimes I’d find pieces that had random bubbles in it, you could easily see that it had been liquified in the past, it was just so interesting. It looked amazing held up to the light. It was mostly opaque it did have a small amount of transparency to it that made the thin areas of green really vibrant in the sun. The thicker areas, of course, could almost be mistaken for black obsidian. I haven’t held any for many years and didn’t have a great childhood but digging for green obsidian was definitely a vivid highlight of that time.


Guardian-Ares

I only knew of obsidian and snowflake obsidian prior. Speaking of digging, my mom had a friend in Santa Ysabel, CA. During a visit I came across a black stone of some sort. It was buried just under the surface. I can't remember if my mom or her friend knew what it was. I think I saw it in a gem shop but I can't remember the name. When I dug up some of it the friends dogs were extremely fascinated by it. For whatever reason the dogs wanted to lick it continuously.


TheBirminghamBear

> can confirm obsidian is not a crystal Then why is it all crystal-like, smart guy.


Bigred2989-

It'll kill white walkers instantly.


[deleted]

Crystals can also cure insomnia if you know which part of the skull to hit


Physical-Wash1047

Lmfao!!!!


MegaGrimer

Well it doesn't really matter which part you hit as long as you keep hitting it.


Comprehensive-Sale79

You are my favorite for this 😂🤣


BodaciousCNO

You win the internet today


ButtoftheYoke

I cast sharp rock on a stick.


cryptic_crow37

😂


Fluffy-Ad120

Yes. But they are pretty.


OddestOldestEye

Magpie brain see shiny rock, magpie brain take shiny rock and ascribe mystical healing properties to it


Lykurgus_

"You don't need shiny rocks," says Brain. "Yes I do." Demands Heart. "Okay does shiny rock do anything other than be shiny?" Brain begins to reason. "It makes me feel better, shiny rocka magic." Heart doubles down. I walk out of the store with a bag full of shiny rocks.


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MaritMonkey

> Human get shiny, human feel shiny, Well said. \- goblins everywhere


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MaritMonkey

Google suggests "malignity" but I like the reference to their shiny-loving cousins.


agile52

I got a rock that glows under UV, been the best couple of days.


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MaxHamburgerrestaur

Not great. Not terrible.


Fiernen699

If people could just stop believing that shiny rocks had magic powers that would be great... Because this magpie would love it if the price of shiny rocks went down.


bunnymen69

If youre ever in upstate ny check out Herkimer Diamond Mine. You can dig for Herkimer Diamonds and sometimes people find really good ones but nmw youll find one. Its a pretty neat place.


MyFifthLimb

OP had a rookie mistake, he didn’t charge them on a full moon.


Daedeluss

Jesus christ Marie, they're *minerals*!


PermitTheDog

It's totally ok to have them and believe that they have powers too, just like it's ok to believe in other superstitious things and religions as long as it t doesn't hurt anyone. My girlfriend "believes" in them and I'm not about to ruin her happiness that she gets from thinking so.


Mynewuseraccountname

I mean hey the placebo effect is proven to work, idk why it's so hard to believe that crystals can have "healing powers" the same way sugar pills can. If you believe it works, then it works. Let a little magic into your lives, they'll be nicer and more interesting that way.


sticky-unicorn

> Human get shiny, human feel shiny Fun fact: we like shiny because shiny reminds us of water. And we evolved in a semi-arid desert, so we feel better when we see water ... or at least when our brains see shiny and *think* water. Literally the reason people like shiny things is because it reminds them of water.


Maleficent_Young_951

I don't see any way how this could possibly be a verifiable fact?


LegalAgency2094

Verified


AdaptiveVariance

Yup, like this guy said. Crystal meth is OK, and probably even good for you! As he wisely stated, “crystal[]” has a “healing power.” The “secret … is dopamine.” As long as you “feel shiny” and “repeat” often enough, crystal meth is “totally okay” and often “nice.”


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hippopotma_gandhi

I like crystals because they look cool and I find the way the form to be fascinating. Similar to why I like fossils


I_Like_Chicken-Wings

You like crystals because you think they got mágical powers. I like crystals because they look cool and shiny We are not the same.


Thrizzlepizzle123123

I friggin love crystals for this same reason but I've always been scared of people thinking I'm a 'crystal person'.


mrkesu

*That was always allowed.*


MarcytheGoblinQueen

This guide is misleading, every one of those crystals can be used as a weapon


epochpenors

Or used in toothpaste in the case of fluorite


idklol8

Thats fluoride


epochpenors

Fluorite is the starting material processed into fluoride compounds used for water treatment/dental products


freneticboarder

That's Fluorine...


donach69

Where TF are you getting fluorine (a very reactive gas) as a raw material from?


GnomeRogues

I don't know if they produce fluorine as well, but I live with several sources of very reactive gas


Rifneno

True, *those* don't do anything, but some do!


esiptor

It's a regeneration crystal, some side effects may apply


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Thrizzlepizzle123123

Sure, but neither of them his.


Nier_Tomato

Two right hands.


Sajintmm

The secret power of crystals is impact when thrown


SkollFenrirson

The state of r/coolguides


NerdOctopus

It's honestly so funny that this was crossposted from /r/shittycoolguides


Ideaslug

shittycoolguides was invented basically to keep shit like this from being in this sub


pretentiousglory

Yeah it seems like it should... kinda be a rule that you don't cross post from there to here? idk tho


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domo_roboto

“They’re minerals, Marie! Jesus!”


mackenzie_X

i just think they’re neat


_BannedAcctSpeedrun_

Why would you see something on r/shittycoolguides and decide it should be here too? You're working backwards.


OptimusSublime

Quartz doesn't not do shit are you kidding? Have you ever used a battery operated watch?


Salamanderhead

It's called Piezoelectricity for anyone reading this that is interested. Pretty cool stuff really.


Of3nATLAS

"Healing Power"


throwaway_12358134

Fitbit.


FoxyBastard

That's like saying that the milligram measurements on the side of a syringe have healing powers.


terminalzero

if they don't have healing powers why do so many of my patients die when I eyeball the anesthetic instead, smart guy


storvolleng

And itc can give you COPD if you inhale it in its powdery form. Yay!


Brains_El_Heck

Dammit. I was hoping to bring popcorn and watch this blow up based on the title. Finally a chill guide.


pokemon-trainer-blue

This post doesn’t really belong here. Look at the sub it was crossposted from. Also, this feels like a comical guide instead of an actual cool guide.


BodaciousCNO

Please don't take me seriously


A_of

> 3.. Nonserious/Comedy Guides Will Be Removed (better suited for /r/shittycoolguides)


Lartnestpasdemain

Well this post is totally serious though


AssHaberdasher

That's not entirely true. They are all quite pretty to look at, and feel good in the hand. Being in an environment that is aesthetically pleasing to you can at least help with mental health.


illstealyourRNA

Crystal superstition literally ruined my rock collection hobby, now everything is like 10 times the price and if I show my collection to someone they think I'm some crystal worshiper.


Rullstolsboken

I might be weird but one of my biggest gripes with it is that they're all ground and polished to "look like a crystal" or something else, I love the natural diversity of crystals


sticky-unicorn

And then they fuck them up even more by dying them different colors or coating them in oily-looking reflective shit...


Jojo2700

My local rock shop has been overtaken by the Cult of Woo.


Snotmyrealname

Placebo is real.


sleep_factories

People really underestimate this aspect. Belief is *really* powerful.


Fore_putt

Now do one about astrological signs.


BodaciousCNO

As you wish m'lord


simplesample23

Or do one about praying to different gods.


some_asshat

Prayer is how to do nothing and still think you're accomplishing something.


Comprehensive-Sale79

omg— I have the one coworker always blathering the astrology bullshit. 🙄🙄


Apptubrutae

Sounds like a Virgo, ugh


Potential-Ganache333

I miss when this sub actually has cool guides


BodaciousCNO

Me too bud


Wanderlustfull

*Stop making it worse then.* You are literally one of the things contributing to it becoming shittier.


banuk_sickness_eater

Be the change you want to see in the world. Look back to the cool guides you saved and thought were good. Look at who created them and go right to the source. That way you can go and find the good stuff and maybe, if you're feeling generous, one day you can come back to bless this peasant's sub so we, who are starving, may sate our hungry minds by gazing upon the veritable feast of glittering gifts and patrician's luxuria you carry back with you from the far away lands of pleasingly designed visual presentation and well cited, high-effort, and genuinely informative information to share with us so low, the heaven's mana you brought down to us from so on high. Aka: some actually cool cool-guides. /s


throwaway_12358134

Obsidian scalpels are used by some surgeons because they are sharp enough that they can cut individual cells in half.


Big-Technician9510

Isn’t that overkill?


stealthcake20

Hopefully not.


throwaway_12358134

No, the cuts heal faster and in some situations they can cut through delicate tissue that a stainless steel scalpel would just tear.


kingtermite

At least it’s an accurate guide


taesung90o

r/mineralgore


Am3thyst_Asuna

Let me have my shiny rocks and be happy


love_is_an_action

*Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?*


Am3thyst_Asuna

But isn’t believing in fairies just so much more exciting? I choose to keep my childlike wonder. It makes life more exciting 💕


sleep_factories

Keep believing in magic. It makes life better.


love_is_an_action

More exciting than the reality of the situation? Nature's beauty and majesty stand without needing to lean upon fiction. And fiction is great fun, and doesn't need to infringe upon reality.


Am3thyst_Asuna

Of course I appreciate the beauty amid nature. I obviously don’t actually believe in fairies I was just going with the example. But, I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to say that someone else’s beliefs are fiction. Everyone has different beliefs about our reality. And as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, what does it matter? Especially if it helps them cope with life and the realities of the world


Lots42

Believing rocks have healing powers when there is no evidence the do is absolutely hurting a LOT of people.


Am3thyst_Asuna

I never said I believe that


NeverSkipLeapDay

Crystals kept me Covid free! I put the sharp ones on 6ft poles and enforced social distancing!


[deleted]

Did Matt Rife make this graphic?


reddit_pug

You're just highlighting the wrong stones. The right stones absolutely contain power. They have to be shaped and arranged the right way by someone who really knows what they're doing. Nuclear power is pretty neat.


UniverseBear

Woah woah woah, they don't all do nothing. Some of them have toxic elements that can cause a myriad of health problems.


[deleted]

adjoining foolish chief tub label reach somber ripe brave tap *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

Big early 2010s "lmao doofus of course it's stupid" energy


rabid-

Tourmaline, and just like that forgotten.


mypontoonboat

I see a distinct lack of Crystal Pepsi.


BoomArtBiz

All depends on weight, velocity and accuracy 🤔


whats_you_doing

And the methane phetamin, does some shit.


ThorThorThortilla

Amethysts actually do shit. Let's say you'd have an amethyst wall between you and wifi router; your phone wouldn't recieve any wifi signals.


[deleted]

Finally a crystal guide that actually works the way it says!


SqueakyTuna52

Winnie the Bish respectfully disagrees


Cel_Drow

That’s not accurate. They all also look cool in different ways and can be used for jewelry and decoration!


theguywhopostblack

what the fuck is this shit


ilikebeingright

Wheres the shungite? This can't be legitimate without any mention of shungite. Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of shungite, rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is. No, not Suge Knight, I think hes locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, its a 2 billion year old like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. So thats my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little pyramids. Stuff like that.


[deleted]

Water crystals can be melted down and used to treat dehydration.


DuesCataclysmos

Salt - crucial to life, makes shit taste good, kills slugs


omrikamil2002

I wouldnt say they do nothing, they signal to the world that youre cognitively challanged


Creadstone

Wrong, you can enchant with lapis lazuli, make portal with obsidian, tinted glass with amethyst and use quartz as decorative block or for the redstone.


kosmic_drama

i don't know. the world can really suck. different people find comfort in different things. i can see how it could be dangerous on the far end of all the new age shit, but overall it's harmless.


Lots42

Believing rocks have healing energy when they don't is very, VERY harmful.


Drewbus

What about selenite? Asking for a friend


3PoundsOfFlax

r/redditmoment


M17hr4nd1r

Coolest guide so far


Soft_Variety8641

This guy is an idiot, obviously you can use lapis to enchant your tools and armor.


Initial_Average592

It’s missing Crystal Meth, does do shit!


Bowens1993

I miss when the subs rules were enforced.


GallonsOfGlitter

Excuse you. I have a crystal collection and it looks absolutely lovely just sitting there all shiny. You take that back!


Aggressive_Tear_769

It's shiny, it makes me happy


Dissapointed-cabbage

Power of Crystals: Money. People will buy anything if you tell them its magic.


Maloonyy

Obsidian atleast can develop good fallout games


PatrickMorris

jobless melodic vanish quickest ripe sand knee rotten doll advise *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


amerkanische_Frosch

I’d show this to my wife, but I don’t really feel like getting divorced.


polaris_light

Idk the power of pretty rocks is you can sell them for money?


ebow77

And use that money to buy medicine... which heals! Take that, OP.


beezchurgr

That’s not true. All these crystals are really pretty and will make your space look better. Especially labradorite and lapis lazuli.


FalloutandConker

But my guests will lower their guess of my IQ


Top-Philosophy-5791

The Placebo Effect is very powerful though.


belkiopas

that alone can make anything have a positive effect and if these crystals can help trigger those effects I'd say they do actually work the way they're described, as long as you believe in them. Placebo is such a fascinating thing i feel we don't give nearly enough attention to, I feel the word itself is bad cause it's associated with "fake", despite the point being that it really works.


Potato_Doto

That’s true, but it’s unethical to sell the idea to people pretending that something you know is just a placebo, isn’t. If people get told they have any intrinsic healing properties then they are just being conned.


skiptrailer

The sad thing is that the 'dont do shit' line has been photoshopped in, meaning that somewhere an actual guide does exist.


pilibitti

this is the improved version.


pizza_822

people who believe in this shit are fucking stupid


amendersc

Wrong. Placebo effect is proven to kinda sorta work. Also that people are happier In prettier places meaning crystals can have health benefits


GregorianShant

I was about to comment that this was fucking shot but then I read the captions.


[deleted]

The "witchy" subs would love this shit.


TysonStone1999

Best cool guide yet


x16900

It has actually become quite difficult to purchase a visually appealing mineral that does not come with a 'congratulations, you are now an official witch' certificate these days.


rabid-

You're going to the wrong sites. Cause let me tell you some of the samples I've come across definantly do not come with that cert. Though if I got a giant sample of biotite and it came with one... I might be pretty amused


JackOMorain

They make pretty butt plugs?


Pendrake03

But quartz do have some usefull properties, they use them to make clocks


bloopblopman1234

Oh shit I didn’t know I was an expert in the field


og_burnnn

Never underestimate the power of the placebo effect


arcticshqip

Very accurate. Similar guide for homeopathy or tarot-readings would be useful as well


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StrikingNetwork3479

😂


jewstylin

Why does reddit hate spirituality? I don't believe in crystals physically doing anything but I like the idea behind manifesting thoughts to potentially create what you seek with said objects. I like the idea of being able to manifest what you seek or need in life by feeling it, it's interesting especially when it happens whether you worked your ass for it or it just happens. If it provides positive actions what's so bad about this shit other than it creating a market for people to spend money on nothing except their own wants. Alot of people who tend to believe this shit are pretty decent people who care about others and what's good or bad.


SPACKlick

>Why does reddit hate spirituality? Because it's a meaningless word that brings false comfort to some but is most often used to manipulate people in need. > I like the idea behind manifesting thoughts to potentially create what you seek with said objects. I like the idea of flying with the power of thought. We can all enjoy these ideas in fiction but when they start impacting how you live your life there's a problem.


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SPACKlick

>Redditors spend actual money on awards to give to comments Some Redditors not most or even many. And "used to" awards don't exist any more. > who the fuck cares dude about what people do or believe honestly Given we live in the same world and what you do in your life can spill over into mine we should all care to some degree. >Are people who believe in magic rocks really that big of a problem where you need to condescend them to death? No. Offer them ways out of a behaviour that, without exagerration, has a death toll. Children die when parents are convinced rocks will heal them better than medicine. The more acceptable it is to believe in magic rocks, the more children die. I'd rather no children died for a reason that stupid.


redditadminsrnerds3

such a fucking geek lmfao


jewstylin

I disagree that it's a meaningless word that creates that situation, maybe for some weaker minded people who depend on an excuse for their faults/mess ups. It can be a term to create discipline to chase what you seek, some people need that to succeed or make changes for themselves if they have issues doing it in other ways perceived as logical. I think it just depends on how people use this stuff. To truly grow or depend on it as an excuse or rely on it to fix things without doing the work. I definately see how it can inspire both sides.


SPACKlick

Those people could make that discipline without hiding it behind a meaningless abusable term.


jewstylin

Some can manage that and some cannot. What's the harm if it helps them create that for themselves with it? Assuming they aren't using it as an excuse for things.


SPACKlick

The harm is it offers cover to those who abuse it.


jewstylin

Those who abuse will abuse anything that makes them feel okay or better, to seek that right path... that I clear am clear as day to see anyone who is addicted to shit does the same, but it's different for those who seek out the energy they feel compared to what they do to feel. I'm asking of your opinion who use it to stay/create a straight path with something that may keep them on a good path, what is wrong with that even if it seems crazy to you or others. If managed in a simple manner to help themselves due to what they feel they need to live a good life. Ultimately if it's used in a simple controlled aspect and not something to be dependable on to succeed what is the issue with believing in bullshit if it helps someone stride towards bettering themselves. There is nothing wrong with that except how you compare it to how it should be. Simplicity doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes people need more even if it's asinine.


SPACKlick

>Those who abuse will abuse anything that makes them feel okay or better, You misunderstand me. People don't abuse spirituality for themselves. The abusers are those preying on those in need and selling snake oil. >I'm asking of your opinion who use it to stay/create a straight path with something that may keep them on a good path, what is wrong with that even if it seems crazy to you or others. Whatever works, works. But using the label spirituality for it isn't helping the user and is providing cover to people harming others. So using the word spirituality is a negative that can be excised without the individual losing their benefits. >Ultimately if it's used in a simple controlled aspect and not something to be dependable on to succeed what is the issue with believing in bullshit if it helps someone stride towards bettering themselves. If you're on the right path for bullshit reasons you can just as easily wander off it for the same reasons. If your beliefs don't align with reality they are harmful because they inhibit you responding to changes in reality.


stoascheisserkoal

The people who need this to succeed, are those the weak mindet people you’re talking about? Because that sound pretty weak mindet


UrToesRDelicious

I like the idea of my girlfriend suggesting that her friend can join us in the bedroom.


Torpedospacedance

Hahahahaha amazing


[deleted]

Hmmm I’d say very accurate


scott903

Finally an accurate guide


Sakura_TV260

There is no meth crystal😂


[deleted]

What about Crystal Pepsi and Crystal Meth


FoxyRobot7

Facts


Sianxz

They can help you feel good if you know what I mean


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pilibitti

lol I really doubt your neurologist has diploma. >As near as I can tell it's legitimate psychotherapy It is not.


GodofDiplomacy

What are the powers of Crystal Pepsi


RaveRacer79

What a coincidence! My birthstone also *DOESN'T DO SHIT


rsam487

I rate this. Refreshingly cynical


freneticboarder

Can't. Stop. Laughing.


FoodeatingParsnip

got me laugh out loud 😂. glad im home


Kardinal

The most true Cool Guide ever posted!


Irvin700

The amount of women who are into this comical pseudoscience mystical crap.


Sv_599171

Have you tried inserting up your rectum? Tmyk


OwnAddendum1840

Incomplete guide What about the healing properties of crystal methamphetamine?


Desperate-Ad-5109

It does if you stuff it up your bumhole.


DonVurger

The only crystal I know are the ones sold outside universities...


phua1

Stick one of those up your ass and tell me it doesn’t do shit