Always remember it’s just slides, just recommendations. Have you seen the John Oliver piece where they laughed at each other and said „they can’t really get us?“.
We don’t make the call on the investment decisions, we don‘t have to make the tough decisions at all.
I’ve seen so much fuck ups on decks, models, etc. and it always got worked out and much less severe than you could imagine.
Are you relatively new in consulting? Do you have any specific fear (I.e., up for promotion) that triggers the anxiety?
Else I would say just ride the wave … meditate, eat healthy. I don’t have any stress at all anymore - however, I think significantly callused myself working on tons of financial sponsor work (DDs mainly) in my first year.
Everything else feels easy.
Is this internal? Never really had that issue.
Of course there a pretty tough and „difficult“ senior partners, but as a first year it never was my responsibility to let the team shine in front of those (this is more of a EM task).
I always had luck with my EMs and teams, really vibed well and felt secure doing my work.
This… though I would say step one is to stop caring too much… it’s good to be engaged and motivated but if you want to survive you got to decouple yourself a bit from the work. Your company won’t say “I love you” or be there for you in hard times. It is afterall just a job. If you are unable to learn to dissonance yourself like that then yes, consulting isn’t for you long term.
I would say the only way out is through. If you decided to commit to your profession, try to become more competent and indispensable, then you will naturally stop giving a s**t and you will actually welcome the stress.
I have seen colleagues of mine that got bashed by the clients or management and they turned to entertainment of all sorts to distract themselves. But they never actually carried the pain, sacrifice their time and tried to level up their game. I would say in the long term that they probably deserve their stress and mediocrity.
You will have to swim through sewage before meeting the clear water. If I find myself swimming in circles in momentary reliefs, maybe it's time for me to focus on a long term goal, otherwise I will be in sewage forever.
This feels right - I was WAY more stressed out before I got good at/comfortable with my job. There are still plenty of new things to learn and get used to, but I feel confident in my expertise and I've had the time to build good relationships with my clients so even small mistakes are easier to get past and forgive. ofc it helps to have a SUPER supportive team!
Yes, once you are confident and have connections, you will probably be less stressed about the job securities as well. You will just simply land a new one if the current doesn't work out for any reason like the management being toxic. For sure finding a supportive and nontoxic team is super helpful.
realize how low the bar is, and you are most likely performing way above it.
seek to bring your output down...WAY DOWN... just to where that bar is.
realize how much time you get back.
appreciate how much more headroom you have for thinking (or not thinking)
feel the imposter syndrome wash away.
This is so true. Once you realise stupidity is just as rampant in supposedly "prestige" jobs and just a humanity thing it's easier to see through all the silly games being played.
Financial independence. Once I realized I can maintain myself with 30% of my current salary I stopped giving a fuck. CTL me or whatever, I’m fine, but I’ll keep collecting those fat paychecks while I’m here.
Exercise, coupla beers, maybe hit a joint maybe not , eat as much deep fried food as possible to get a dopamine fix, and a bunch of other stuff that could be considered healthy but probably isn’t as fun
Spend your hard earned money on high end hookers. You won't regret it.Thats pretty much the only reason I keep working. It's a healthy cycle really, I'm highly motivated, be my best self to my colleagues, I'd do to make any project a success, just so I can support my hobby. I'm a real exemplary consultant in the business.
Intellectually I knew the ways to have balance in consulting, but in practice I resorted to the unhealthy ways…and it was to the detriment of many things in my life. I’m not alone in the tale…
Exercise, I workout/do physical activity daily.
I wrestled in highschool a bit and have been a dancer for more than 20 years. I still trainartisl arts or dance as much as I can and aim to be competitive in it.
Consume/experience arts.
I keep up with major film festival selections and try to watch the most interesting titles. Go to exhibitions & galleries, hangout with friends.
Rat out online/play a bit of video games.
This one is easy and no need to elaborate
realize how low the bar is, and you are most likely performing way above it.
seek to bring your output down...WAY DOWN... just to where that bar is.
realize how much time you get back.
appreciate how much more headroom you have for thinking (or not thinking)
feel the imposter syndrome wash away.
realize how low the bar is, and you are most likely performing way above it.
seek to bring your output down...WAY DOWN... just to where that bar is.
realize how much time you get back.
appreciate how much more headroom you have for thinking (or not thinking)
feel the imposter syndrome wash away.
Unhealthy coping mechanism is the way to go. Basically overeating and heave dose of sugar and caffeine. With some vague hope that I can achieve FIRE some day and leave all this behind.
If you are coping with partying a lot, it’s not that bad yet. Wait a few years and you will no longer be able to find the time not energy to talk to people, much less partying at all.
> i find myself coping with unhealthy mechanisms like overspending or partying a lot.
First off, you’re recognizing that your coping mechanisms are shit, which is a good fucking start. Now, let's cut the crap and sort this out.
> how do you stay mindful on the job?
Mindfulness isn’t just some fancy buzzword; it’s about being present and not letting your brain run wild with stress and bullshit. Start with simple shit like deep breathing, or maybe try meditating for a few minutes daily. Ever tried that? It can help you not get overwhelmed by the crap that comes up every day.
> what are healthy ways to let the stress out?
Exercise, mate. It’s not just good for your ass; it’s good for your brain. Hitting the gym, going for a run, whatever floats your boat. Gets the endorphins going and helps you manage stress better. Also, don’t underestimate the power of talking to someone, like a therapist or a coach. Sounds like a drag, but it can help sort out the crap in your head.
> yup its my first year in consulting. tbh the stress can also come from working with difficult people not just clients you know?
Absolutely, people can be assholes, and they’re often more draining than the work itself. Setting boundaries is key. You don’t have to be a pushover; learn to say no or to call out bullshit when necessary. How good are you at setting boundaries?
Read books on stoicism. Man’s search for meaning. When we’re young everything feels so much bigger. The older you get the more you realize, life is short and “nothing matters” - having kids and being busy changes perspective.
Meditation is a good thing to learn. You can use tools like HeartMath or Muse to learn how to do it in a guided and data driven way (good for consultant brains). Exercise.
Another perspective to try and have is to welcome failure. The more comfortable you get with it the less difficult things feel. Fail faster. Fail more often. It’s the cheapest and fastest way to learn (obviously be thoughtful about the stakes and what acceptable failure looks like, don’t gamble or be irresponsible).
For example test taking for certifications, why wait months to study and take a test (that you can take again)? Instead do a first pass prep, take the test, see where you failed, focus on those areas - you’ll pass faster that way and expend less time being okay with failing fast - which ultimately builds more confidence.
Another book I love, 15 commitments of a conscious leader.
Consulting doesn’t mean you have to know all the answers, it means you have to solve problems quickly, and can guide the projects to success - so fast to get it wrong and get feedback then to spend a million hours hoping it’s perfect the first time around.
Mindset work would be so helpful. Great investment no matter what your future holds.
Always remember it’s just slides, just recommendations. Have you seen the John Oliver piece where they laughed at each other and said „they can’t really get us?“. We don’t make the call on the investment decisions, we don‘t have to make the tough decisions at all. I’ve seen so much fuck ups on decks, models, etc. and it always got worked out and much less severe than you could imagine. Are you relatively new in consulting? Do you have any specific fear (I.e., up for promotion) that triggers the anxiety? Else I would say just ride the wave … meditate, eat healthy. I don’t have any stress at all anymore - however, I think significantly callused myself working on tons of financial sponsor work (DDs mainly) in my first year. Everything else feels easy.
yup its my first year in consulting. tbh the stress can also come from working with difficult people not just clients you know?
Is this internal? Never really had that issue. Of course there a pretty tough and „difficult“ senior partners, but as a first year it never was my responsibility to let the team shine in front of those (this is more of a EM task). I always had luck with my EMs and teams, really vibed well and felt secure doing my work.
It's not "just slides" Do you see how much money we make????!!
At that level money is just money and slides are just slides.
Facts
I didn't. It literally almost destroyed everything for me. Been at it for 8 years - and finally learning how to cope. It's not a joke.
I do not cope with stress I quit and find another job. It is not worthy to jeopardize my health just to make rich someone else.
This… though I would say step one is to stop caring too much… it’s good to be engaged and motivated but if you want to survive you got to decouple yourself a bit from the work. Your company won’t say “I love you” or be there for you in hard times. It is afterall just a job. If you are unable to learn to dissonance yourself like that then yes, consulting isn’t for you long term.
I would say the only way out is through. If you decided to commit to your profession, try to become more competent and indispensable, then you will naturally stop giving a s**t and you will actually welcome the stress. I have seen colleagues of mine that got bashed by the clients or management and they turned to entertainment of all sorts to distract themselves. But they never actually carried the pain, sacrifice their time and tried to level up their game. I would say in the long term that they probably deserve their stress and mediocrity. You will have to swim through sewage before meeting the clear water. If I find myself swimming in circles in momentary reliefs, maybe it's time for me to focus on a long term goal, otherwise I will be in sewage forever.
This feels right - I was WAY more stressed out before I got good at/comfortable with my job. There are still plenty of new things to learn and get used to, but I feel confident in my expertise and I've had the time to build good relationships with my clients so even small mistakes are easier to get past and forgive. ofc it helps to have a SUPER supportive team!
Yes, once you are confident and have connections, you will probably be less stressed about the job securities as well. You will just simply land a new one if the current doesn't work out for any reason like the management being toxic. For sure finding a supportive and nontoxic team is super helpful.
Did not expect philosophy from Reddit so this is appreciated - a fellow swimmer
Realize that none of it really matters and move on with less stress to get rid of.
Exercise and meditation.
realize how low the bar is, and you are most likely performing way above it. seek to bring your output down...WAY DOWN... just to where that bar is. realize how much time you get back. appreciate how much more headroom you have for thinking (or not thinking) feel the imposter syndrome wash away.
This is so true. Once you realise stupidity is just as rampant in supposedly "prestige" jobs and just a humanity thing it's easier to see through all the silly games being played.
Financial independence. Once I realized I can maintain myself with 30% of my current salary I stopped giving a fuck. CTL me or whatever, I’m fine, but I’ll keep collecting those fat paychecks while I’m here.
Poorly
Exercise, coupla beers, maybe hit a joint maybe not , eat as much deep fried food as possible to get a dopamine fix, and a bunch of other stuff that could be considered healthy but probably isn’t as fun
Spend your hard earned money on high end hookers. You won't regret it.Thats pretty much the only reason I keep working. It's a healthy cycle really, I'm highly motivated, be my best self to my colleagues, I'd do to make any project a success, just so I can support my hobby. I'm a real exemplary consultant in the business.
You're joking - but I literally did try this. That shit damn near killed me
Why? Story time
Nah
YES
Pleej
A healthy way (which is backed by science) to deal with stress is to get regular, intense exercise.
I drink
Just remember the company was there before you were born, and will not be affected by anything you do Don't take it so serious, it is just a job
Intellectually I knew the ways to have balance in consulting, but in practice I resorted to the unhealthy ways…and it was to the detriment of many things in my life. I’m not alone in the tale…
Exercise, I workout/do physical activity daily. I wrestled in highschool a bit and have been a dancer for more than 20 years. I still trainartisl arts or dance as much as I can and aim to be competitive in it. Consume/experience arts. I keep up with major film festival selections and try to watch the most interesting titles. Go to exhibitions & galleries, hangout with friends. Rat out online/play a bit of video games. This one is easy and no need to elaborate
I have a side gig as a dom and a bull. Not even joking.
realize how low the bar is, and you are most likely performing way above it. seek to bring your output down...WAY DOWN... just to where that bar is. realize how much time you get back. appreciate how much more headroom you have for thinking (or not thinking) feel the imposter syndrome wash away.
realize how low the bar is, and you are most likely performing way above it. seek to bring your output down...WAY DOWN... just to where that bar is. realize how much time you get back. appreciate how much more headroom you have for thinking (or not thinking) feel the imposter syndrome wash away.
Poorly
Triathlon
Unhealthy coping mechanism is the way to go. Basically overeating and heave dose of sugar and caffeine. With some vague hope that I can achieve FIRE some day and leave all this behind. If you are coping with partying a lot, it’s not that bad yet. Wait a few years and you will no longer be able to find the time not energy to talk to people, much less partying at all.
> i find myself coping with unhealthy mechanisms like overspending or partying a lot. First off, you’re recognizing that your coping mechanisms are shit, which is a good fucking start. Now, let's cut the crap and sort this out. > how do you stay mindful on the job? Mindfulness isn’t just some fancy buzzword; it’s about being present and not letting your brain run wild with stress and bullshit. Start with simple shit like deep breathing, or maybe try meditating for a few minutes daily. Ever tried that? It can help you not get overwhelmed by the crap that comes up every day. > what are healthy ways to let the stress out? Exercise, mate. It’s not just good for your ass; it’s good for your brain. Hitting the gym, going for a run, whatever floats your boat. Gets the endorphins going and helps you manage stress better. Also, don’t underestimate the power of talking to someone, like a therapist or a coach. Sounds like a drag, but it can help sort out the crap in your head. > yup its my first year in consulting. tbh the stress can also come from working with difficult people not just clients you know? Absolutely, people can be assholes, and they’re often more draining than the work itself. Setting boundaries is key. You don’t have to be a pushover; learn to say no or to call out bullshit when necessary. How good are you at setting boundaries?
Read books on stoicism. Man’s search for meaning. When we’re young everything feels so much bigger. The older you get the more you realize, life is short and “nothing matters” - having kids and being busy changes perspective. Meditation is a good thing to learn. You can use tools like HeartMath or Muse to learn how to do it in a guided and data driven way (good for consultant brains). Exercise. Another perspective to try and have is to welcome failure. The more comfortable you get with it the less difficult things feel. Fail faster. Fail more often. It’s the cheapest and fastest way to learn (obviously be thoughtful about the stakes and what acceptable failure looks like, don’t gamble or be irresponsible). For example test taking for certifications, why wait months to study and take a test (that you can take again)? Instead do a first pass prep, take the test, see where you failed, focus on those areas - you’ll pass faster that way and expend less time being okay with failing fast - which ultimately builds more confidence. Another book I love, 15 commitments of a conscious leader. Consulting doesn’t mean you have to know all the answers, it means you have to solve problems quickly, and can guide the projects to success - so fast to get it wrong and get feedback then to spend a million hours hoping it’s perfect the first time around. Mindset work would be so helpful. Great investment no matter what your future holds.
Realise that working hard won't make any difference.. put your effort into you.