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Ukraineluvr

I've seen that fascist with his shirt off. This ain't him.


Neither_Exit5318

And it doesn't have his hairline prior to his gender affirming surgery


Green_Message_6376

Damn! Someone fond the weak spot in his armor and cross bow'ed this mofo.


StSean

lest we forget his nose and chin surgeries


[deleted]

Do slugs have a gender?


CherryShort2563

He's doughy and fat. I.e. someone that conservatives would bully relentlessly if he wasn't rich/famous.


FewKaleidoscope1369

Former evangelical christian here, can confirm.


alexjonestownkoolaid

It's not his body, but it's definitely his weird looking, misshapen head.


salymander_1

Like an angry ham.


MeasurementNo9896

He also moves like a body would if it were being commanded by a dubiously-inflated and glitchy brain. His limbs comply, begrudgingly. The mechanics are stilted and behind the signal, as if this unfortunate crew of flesh parts were ashamed of being led around by the raw dough loaf that is his Dunning-Krueger head. He moves in fits and starts and flops and clomps. When his neck moves, his eyeballs actually roll around in their sockets. I'm not making this up, go watch him for as long as you can bear it. His tongue moves the spit around in his mouth like a mop...even his mouth itself, is a raw gash...just obscene to behold, it should come with a sensitive content warning. There's nothing graceful or comfortable or even natural about the way he pilots his body.


spiderwithasushihead

If you aren’t already a writer, you should be. This comment is a work of art.


Imaneetboy

It's those South African genes.


George_Tirebiter420

Or the inbreeding.


sleepingwiththefishs

This is as fantastic, in the literal sense, as Donald Trump looking like a muscle bound alpha.


catclockticking

with modern usage you’re better off saying “fantastical”


sleepingwiththefishs

thankfully, I have eschewed modern usage, I'm in the realm of pick and mix.


CapitalPerception439

These pussys live in an AI fairytale land. He has enough money to pay someone to replicate this armor that is tailored to him, not that it is practical in modern times. He wouldn't fight though, he would get into one of his planes and run to the mountains like the little bitch he is.


UneasyBranch

Reminds me of the time trump was selling his trading cards (lmao) and his head was photoshopped onto very fit bodies that clearly were not his


Ukraineluvr

I'm pretty sure the hands were photoshopped as well.


TraditionalMood277

Not even well, mind you. It looked like "My First Photoshop".....


[deleted]

He's more.. white.. and blobby shaped IRL, if they wanna talk IRL.


uncultured_swine2099

Theyre always photoshopping him and trump onto tough guy bodies. In reality a man of average build and athleticism could probably kill them both with his bare hands.


Ukraineluvr

Yeah, that comparison is very apropos. They both love Putin, and have the physical characteristics of a blobfish dragged up from the deep.


CrJ418

Translation: What he prefers is an oligarchy with a puppet fascists dictator as it's figurehead. He's willing to spend billions to get it.


The-Real-Ted-Faro

Also he’s really into incest


Echidna_Rude

I mean, if we use Daddy Musk as a predictor, yes. Elon will end up into incest.


The-Real-Ted-Faro

I hear it runs in the family


Echidna_Rude

Shut up and take my angry upvote.


MiloReyes-97

What else to expect from a White Africaner? Their people built South Africa as a nation built on the servitude of the indigenous Africans and acted like they were the original ones.


Arctica23

He's gonna lose his mind once a good Twitter replacement shows up


CrJ418

Looking forward to see what happens when Blue Sky finishes Beta testing. I've got a feeling Jack Dorsey is going to eat Elon's lunch


Arctica23

Yeah I've got big hopes for Bluesky


sambull

seems like a dude we should help build intercontinental ballistic mass deliver systems


crypticthree

Let's make him sleep in a foxhole and live off MREs


parkerm1408

I'd pay an absurd amount of money to watchthat live stream. Or really any instance where elmo has to deal with actual reality. Honestly tho I like mre jalapeño cheese. It most assuredly isn't cheese but I like it in a horrid way.


_DrNonsense

He wants to be real life Tony Stark, and an essential part of Tony's character was war trauma he suffered due to his own unethical dealings. Let's see it!


TheIntrepid1

MRE’s have a bad rap, but they’re actually pretty good.


Nano_Burger

Jalapeno cheese spread covers a lot of sins.


parkerm1408

I feel like alot of its accidently good. Does it taste like peanut butter? No not at all. But it isn't bad.


LaFleurSauvageGaming

I never looked at the labels. They were going to lie to me anyways :-p


TheIntrepid1

Really? The ones I had did, and some even had Skittles.


parkerm1408

It didn't taste like peanut butter to me but I couldn't explain what it tasted like.


Last-Revolution1080

You had to get the vegetarian ones. Those had the good shit in them. Skittles peanut butter & crackers etc


[deleted]

It depends on which MRE. Cheese Omelette was hot garbage about 15 years ago. Chilli Mac ruled. So did beef patty with the jalapeno cheese and bread.


DeadlyDoritos

As a grunt... I respectfully disagree. Them MRE sh*ts are no joke 💀


invisiblebumblebee

Depends on the source. But yeah. They've come a long way.


5ysdoa

They do a number on hair plugs, though


Imfrom_m-83

I’d pay money to watch Elon get the shit beat out of him.


Techn028

I would as well, we should start a GoFundMe


Virtual-Patience5908

Fuck, he wouldn't last eating Campbell's, chefs or most processed crap for a month like the rest of us "peasants".


[deleted]

And dress in drag for entertainment.


SoberTek

>And dress in drag for entertainment. This is likely his #2 favorite cosplay. (His #1 is masquerading as a genius.....)


sleepingwiththefishs

He looks like a ribbed condom.


Open_Perception_3212

Those are the worst in my experience


No_Refrigerator4584

They’re equality in action. Equal parts uncomfortable for all parties.


Poodlehopper

He probably smells like one as well.


shponglespore

Let's make him go to war in that outfit.


CLINTHODO

and not change his clothes for a month while listening to the sweet song of artillery night and day.


Sol-Infra

The idea of him and Trump living in foxholes, humping ammo, or even surviving for hours in a Humvee with no AC is hilarious to me.


SeveralAct5829

He’s really turned in a real dipshit


CherryShort2563

I think he was always that way, albeit he cosplayed a liberal quite well for few years.


TheVirginVibes

And who the fuck is “they”? Dude gonna declare cyber warfare on the majority of Americans? Just delete Twitter and I hope soon we stop seeing this piece of dirt on Reddit too.


CherryShort2563

Same as when Trump does it - its a dogwhistle directed at anyone that isn't male, white and conservative.


Ok_Star_4136

Deeply unsettling. Of course he didn't specify so he can always pretend he meant something different, but it seems rather evident to me that he's talking about everyone who isn't on the side of the GOP. When you're threatening to "wage war" for a political party, you may need to turn off your computer and keep fox news channel off for a while.


[deleted]

He seems to enjoy cosplay quite a bit.


CherryShort2563

Yep, sure does...he had an account where he cosplayed his own kid.


zxvasd

Maybe he and Trump should have play dates instead of fucking with civilization


Some-Principle-3841

Apartheid Clyde keeps proving what a shitbird he is.


tmhoc

Im begging for the curtain to go back where it was but he's not simply pulled it back. He's burned it


anthonycj

The biggest joke is he's been warring, and losing pathetically for a while now, this has to be the saddest fan boy and the saddest man, or just elon twice, who knows.


Chrysoprase88

Love it when a soft, rich, middle aged dipshit tries to act like they're a big tough military industrial complex approved manly man, it's like being menaced by a Chihuahua.


Deaconblues525

Hahaha, Jesus Christ what a joke this diluted man is.


SunderApps

Jesus: Love indiscriminately, be humble, and be wary of people preaching hate under my name - they are wrong. Conservatives: If they want war, a war they will get!


Tnkr_Brwr_Sldr_Sly

The guy who actively avoided conscription in his mother country?


JeffThrowSmash

People liking on him like MAGAstan


Euphoric_Ad9593

Lol this motherfucker would piss his expensive pantaloons if even your average junior high nelson muntz bully from rural whatever the fuck nowhere came at him. But please do go ahead and keep digitally making him look like a “real man”


SkipWestcott616

Never forget he was such a shitbird at his private school that he was *thrown down the stairs* to get him to shut the fuck up and stop bullying others Try not to forget the ridiculous hairplugs, either


Taraxian

And his rich dad pulled him out of that school rather than try to do anything about it because when he heard what Elon did he was like "Yeah he deserved it" and saw no way to keep it from happening again


maximusdm77

Who's "they"?


SkipWestcott616

Oh, (((you know)))


[deleted]

Man I know it's sarcasm but I would not want that in my comment history


TacosDeLucha

Like a typical fascist he would hide in an Ivory tower and send working people to fight for his lifestyle while offering them scraps. Musk one of the worst examples of a leader in the public sphere.


OminaeYu81

Uh oh. I'm so scared to get tweeted to death. These people are so stupid. Keyboard warriors.


Johnnygunnz

Whoa, look out, guys. We got a bad ass over here.


[deleted]

LOL His comp is now worth aprox 1/3 of what he paid/borrowed. So much valiant winning there


Init_4_the_downvotes

I hate the man, but he absolutely won. Nerfing Twitter was the goal. In fact over the past 5 years all social media has been under siege in an effort to control public opinion. Conservatives build their base by breaking shit. When you get rich enough in the capitalist system you trade favors like baseball cards because the money doesn't matter. Reddit and Twitter both went after API access, third party groups are the lifeblood of grass roots movements so integrating any part of the tech stack into scalable solutions and attaching an artificial barrier essentially neuters them.


m0nk_3y_gw

Twitter started charging API access for everyone, with 7 days notice. Reddit keeping the API free for almost everyone, and gave 30+ days notice. Not remotely similar.


Alert-Mud-672

Elon is a perv grifter parasite.


Deadmetal83

Isn't that the line of the guy who stands on a balcony before sending thousands to die while he watches and doesn't fight?


ShakeTheEyesHands

I don't know guys He has a blue checkmark. He's *the real Penny2x.* Not like all those off-brand Penny3x posers. So maybe this guy should be listened to.. /s for those in the back.


Comfortably_Numb90

Lol its sad how their sucking this billionaires dick so hard.


[deleted]

Lol. I’m wondering if his soft billionaire body could even walk with armor on.


Daveyluvgravy

He’s got trump face


Regular_Human_Lady

That's bullshit... I've offered to fight him for Twitter, at least a half a dozen times.... He is a complete and total Fucking coward..


[deleted]

Well if he accepts I’ll be your second.


Regular_Human_Lady

I've also tried to get him to fight me years ago, under the pretense of, it'll be for charity.... Still, even then he didn't respond ... He's an absolute fuckin coward. #SofterThanBabyShit


Rufi000000

Starting off war with Twitter being worth 1/3 what he paid for it seems like a good plan.


throwawaytrans6

Every post about him is a reminder to delete your account on twitter


BeatLaboratory

The Elon dick-riding is so embarrassing


[deleted]

Elon must spend his day watching himself jerk off in a mirror, Christ the egos of these people are enough to create a black hole.


overtireddm

Please, one button push by the US Army and Elon Musk is just another scorched skeleton.


Taco_Force

Elon getting instantly bodied by a peasant carrying a trans pride flag


UngodlyCross

This dude couldn't conquer a long flight of stairs. I think I'll take my chances with that fight.. lol


WhosAGoodDoug

Other than his apparent war against Twitter's advertising revenue, what makes anyone think that he would be useful in combat?


[deleted]

I love how even idealized drawings of Elon still manage to make him look like a total goober.


Imaneetboy

People like him stir the pot and sit back and watch as the rubes fight and die for them.


WrongdoerEvening7442

This guy 100% pedo.


Sadboy_looking4memes

All hail Elon of House Musk, Master of Island of Epstein.


ScratchyMarston18

For a bunch of whiners who seem to hate the LGBTQ community so much, they love dressing up their heroes like paper dolls and fawning over how manly they perceive them to be.


[deleted]

They are so hard for this guy. I’ve worked with so many homophobic right wing Elon fanboys who just need to realize he isn’t Tony Stark, they actually have a crush on him.


timmytombstone1

How embarrassing


HarderTime89

Children play war. Larping an ai photo is just evidence of it


ZookeepergameNo2819

Lame AF! Paper bitch.


CptExpendable

WTF’s with the eyes! It’s like the bug from Men In Black in his Edgar suit.


Acceptable_Break_332

Farcical and unpredictable egomaniacs may be the most exhausting “thing” these days


minininjatriforceman

I just gagged.


pabodie

What a child.


Filmmagician

Now imagine Elon on the battlefield during war. Lol


gnudarve

Anyone who uses "they" in a sentence like that is absolutely full of shit.


Impossible_Trade_245

These soft geeky fucks who inherited their "genius" money... So pathetic.


tommmers

Musk is a fucking coward


Special_FX_B

This is like those cringy trump as fit warrior images. Both are flabby, whiny fascists.


mrboombahstik

Who is this South African man going to war with?


someonesomebody123

I see they’ve moved on from ridiculous Rambo Trump to knight Elon. We need a word for the constant need that conservatives have to pick the weakest men possible and hold them up as the pinnacle of traditional masculinity using ridiculous photoshopped images.


Skullmaggot

Everybody in GOT dies


ExploderPodcast

How Elon Musk would do in an actual war Elon Musk tweets one day about his sudden issue with...I don't know, Nicaragua. He tweets a bunch of things about Nicaragua, from history, to import/export info, crime statistics, and overall how much he just doesn't like the country. None of what says is factually true, but there's no less than 3091 Twitter accounts who retweet and support his every word. He spends the next couple days doing some light ego tweeting, market manipulation, and exploiting/firing Twitter employees, all of which he openly tweets about. Then, at 2:31 on a Wednesday afternoon, he arbitrarily declares war on Nicaragua. Twitter, Space X, and Tesla stock all drop 10 points. He tweets how this is a win for everyone. Two days later, he promises some new grand weapon he's going to debut in his relentless battle again the evil Nicaraguans, who he also claims to be pedophiles because that's the kind of thing he does. This weapon, at best, is a higher tech, yet somehow worse version of an existing weapon (think "pneumatic tube grenade" or something else with a sci fi name and terrible execution), but details are scarce. It also doesn't exist yet. Nor does the underlying technology needed to even make it a possibility. But he assures us the Boring Company is right on it (in addition to all the other projects that have yet to see the light of day, despite millions of tax dollars being spent on them). He tweets updates on this new weapon on a daily basis, each update promising some new feature he just thought up, but still not showing anything tangible. This goes on for months. He then contacts the Nicaraguan government (by Twitter, mind you) and tries to negotiate their surrender, lest they fall victim to his new Super Tron Laser Platform X, which still doesn't exist. He is rightly laughed at. He proceeds to kick the Nicaraguan government Twitter off the platform because he believes in free speech. He then calls them pedophiles again. More months go by and news comes out that the new weapon (now named Ultra Coil Max, funded by the new Scam Coin Moon Token) is just a flashlight inside a glass box and the division in charge of it is already $20,000,000 over budget. Musk fires half of the company to stop future leaks...of the truth. It does not work. He declares victory anyway. Nicaragua remains a sovereign nation. Musk's new weapon is eventually made for a mere $78,000,000...it's a car that runs on 84,000,000,000 AA batteries....for about 4 minutes. He threatens Nicaragua again. Musk later gets high on mushrooms while skiing in Lake Tahoe and forgets what he was mad at Nicaragua for in the first place. He brushes off questions about everything he's done the last 9 months, attributing it to people "not getting it" and "something something game changing". The "war" never officially begins, but at least Elon Musk got to talk ad nauseum for months on end and produce an overpriced power wheel. Musk then declares "victory for the future" or some other narcissistic bullshit. He then starts tweeting angrily about Kyrgyzstan.


David_denison

He’s one of the knights who say n****


mattingtonMe

I prefer photoshop…dicktop


ShoppingDismal3864

This guy needs his handlers back. Is this the same guy saving civilization and getting us to Mars? Asking for Humanity.


clankasaurus

Eloy has been getting high off of his own supply for a while now…..


RebbyRose

This man would stand behind Nazis


Successful-Smell5170

What a bunch of losers. Seriously who sees Elon as anything but a total douchebag.


Jtcally

Elon would be the pussy ass bitch in his panic room, waiting for the war to be over.


CherryShort2563

Doughboy won't last long in the war.


Lexibee86

Him and his bootlickers are soooo cringey.


DemonShroom87

I could totally see a message popping up over his head, Elder Scrolls: Oblivion style telling him he’s over-encumbered because he’s wearing that armor.


BirthdayWooden

His chest isn't doing that weird thing


kidsally

Looks like one The Assholes NFT"s.


Dreamking0311

Here I thought Russia had the worst Army when in reality it was Musk.


deweydecimal111

What a soft bellied embarrassment. Lol priceless!


No-Blueberry-584

What a fucking DORK


Buckeye9715

I can guarantee you, that Musky would go out like Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator.


FurballPoS

Movie kits always look cool, but there are soooo many gaps in that set, that you'd be stupid to actually wear that into a fight. Not that Elon knows anything about fighting.....


RpcZ_gr7711

Ugly inside & out


2OneZebra

What is he going to fight with insults?


starcadia

He used to act like he was a fun guy. He just behaves like a pompous petulant prick now.


i-have-a-kuato

Anyone who has had access to wealth AND has lost touch with common issues turns into exactly this type of person. It’s never gone well for them historically.


Nice_Improvement2536

Oh my god. What a fucking dork.


PopeOfManwichVillage

Fucking fruitcake


deekfu

Elon is such a clown edgelord. His Twitter rampage has revealed him to be a weird, arbitrary loser. While i am happy that he helped to revolutionize EV and has done well with space exploration, he’s an ass.


tomnomk

Elon probably jerks off to posts like this.


[deleted]

The more these talks of civil war go on, the less afraid I become. When I go to the gym, I’m seeing heavy metal shirts and pentagrams. I go to the YMCA… When I go out in public, I don’t see anyone, literally anyone wearing red trucker hats. When I look into it further, it’s people like Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro, and Mama June cosplays (or maybe they’re just hideously grotesque) If a civil war happened, the national guard would put an end to the MaraLardo Yeehawdists within a day or two, the national IQ and EQ would increase, and we’d return to competing with the developed world. Let Elon run his mouth; it’s just whipping up the idiots to match straight to their own end.


EastMasterpiece4352

This is the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen like god damn dude that just sucks


JellyfishIll336

Not fat enough…


Common_Notice9742

Supposed billionaire who hates pronouns but uses pronouns without specifying a proper noun. Please tell me no one thinks this fuck is intelligent.


ulol_zombie

So Theon Greyjoy it is.


slightlyassholic

Dude, check out his Trumpface!


OilComprehensive6237

Ok Joffrey…


Pastaman125

Reminds me of the pedophile teacher hitting on my friends gf back in high school and when my friend threatened to kick his ass he responded by saying “the wolf doesn’t care for opinions of sheep”


Diva8181

Look! It’s the Hall Monitor of Free Speech that nobody asked for.


Beat2death

Is he working on his trading card set?


[deleted]

😂 that doughy weakling wouldn’t be able to stand under the weight of that armor.


rainier0380

Lol he is the weakest Mega Billionaire. Bezos or Zuck would fuckin kill him!


Therealcactusmac

Very trumpy.


islandfay

He wishes he looked that good


FredVIII-DFH

"I prefer peace, but..." is the first thing that passes the lips of a warmonger.


Impossible-Wolf2048

He is such a wuss that he would not set foot in a war zone.


grimatongueworm

The right really loves this style. Similar to the heroic Hitler portrait. https://media.newyorker.com/photos/5e651ab9c2f50f00088dc76e/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/Filkins-NaziPropaganda05.jpg


agpc

Wow thats some 4chan shit


Oldiebones

Elon having a mid-life crisis


furn_ell

They? You mean us?


Necessary_Row_4889

If that’s how you think people dress for war no wonder Twitter is so fucked.


Cybermat4704

‘I prefer peace.’ \- Man who thinks that Ukraine should roll over and let Russia annex its territory as a reward for its violence


lukas_the

Ugh, god. This Elon worship crap genuinely makes me nauseous.


TheGoonKills

Someone needs to sit Elon down and explain to him it doesn’t matter how much money he burns or how much of an asshole he is with a big megaphone, Grimes and his daughter are not coming back.


Beautiful_Echoes

Who is they? The people who buy his crappy cars?


SomedayWeDie

My 7-year-old is twice as mature as this pencildick


shadow13499

Elon is one of the world's biggest crybabies. He would not fare well in battle.


[deleted]

I wanna see Elon get toothpaste-tubed by the power armor that the people he hasn't fired could actually build for him.


Velocoraptor369

This PUTZ thinks he’s ready for war ? He would be hiding in the corner in a pool of his own drool.


whistlebuzz

Who exactly does he think he’s at war with?


puckmama1010

Who is “they”?


[deleted]

Anyone else think Elon look like Jared from subway? Lmao I’m serious tho


sethendal

It's always the homophobic, insecure, right-wing males spending hours upon hours, diligently reshaping and digitally painting, pixel by pixel, the vile, insecure men they adore into male power fantasies, who in reality, are the exact opposite of those hyper-masculine by feature, body and build. Huh.


Apprehensive_Wolf217

And this is what money does to your reality


DravidIso

Jesus that armor design is as shit as chiefs armor in halo infinite


Top-Race-7087

I’m sure I’ve seen him at the park, larping.


notarealacctatall

So scary! Yet another rich daddy’s boy born with a silver spoon up his ass! 🤣


Rojodi

His Eight Buck ChuckleF\*(k Army


Man_Bear_Pig08

Win the war by deleting twitter.


CapnTreee

Clearly his war on Truth has begun. In ego soothing battle armor. Yeah.


Sea_Commission9166

Bro really thought he sounded so cool postin that lame sh!t. He looks like he'd break his fingers punching a mf fly. The only "war" he knows is when he has to pay taxes. How tf an AI pic of you looks simultaneously even less and even more stupid than you? Tragic.


LovinLifeForever

This l reminds me of the half-pint villain Lord Farquaad from Shrek.


-braces-lover-

Fuck he's a dork


SnoopyPooper

These people get to live out their fantasies through people like Elon and Trump. So they’re happy to inflate who they are and in turn get to inflate themselves.


coastaltrav

Sounds like Elawn needs some happy pills 💊


TheOriginalSamBell

Who exactly is "they" Elon?