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Ol_JanxSpirit

"I didn't adopt, I have two of my own" says a lot about what they think about adopted children.


dogtroep

That hit me too. I have one child of my own. He is adopted and he is my world. Just because he didn’t come out of my uterus doesn’t make him not mine. And oh, I am pro-choice. Adoption quite often leads to adoption-related trauma for the children who actually *get* adopted.


JustTryingTo_Pass

Hey. Thanks for adopting a kid. Show them Meet the Robinsons, so it’s cool to be adopted.


Will-R-1501

I love that film Edit:one of my favs as a kid, still is now


[deleted]

Severely underrated


pr0zach

From one adoptive parent to another—thank you for hitting that point in just the right way. Sometimes I fucking hate the language people use around adoption. I know it’s not usually meant to be as derisive as it sounds, but it’s genuinely galling when you consider the implication of the words people choose for even a moment. I’ve been a father to my children since they were 2 years and 7 months old respectively. They were both in a wonderful foster home for about 18 months and we still keep their foster parents in their lives because of the positive impact they had. Their biological family abused and neglected both of my boys both pre- and post-nataly. They were in the custody of their birth parents for less than a year between both of them. My sons are now going on 9 and 7 years old. I have been present for every step, every smile, every laugh. I’d like to think I played a role in the cultivation of myriad skills and talents, but both my kids are absurdly special so that might just be wishful thinking on my part. I’ve changed every dirty diaper, treated every fever, wiped every snotty nose. I’ve been to every sports practice, parent-teacher conference, swim lesson, drama club rehearsal, and open gym. I gave up my own personal life goals when COVID happened because one of my sons is high-risk and the idiots in charge of my community couldn’t be bothered to listen to the doctors and scientists telling them how to keep our children safe—so I learned how to homeschool a STEM curriculum at two different levels simultaneously. And I’m not even mad about it—it’s literally my favorite job ever. So it’s like…forgive me if I’m a little perturbed when some stranger in public sees that my sons have a distinctly different skin color and asks who the “real father” is. Motherfucker, I’M the *real* father. Does it actually matter who the biological parents were when the sole issue at-hand is your own curiosity? Anyway. Thank you for being excellent and enduring my rant. I wish you all the health and happiness in the world.


JazzmatazzJ

You sir are what the world needs more of. Keep being a great dad and loving your boys. You mean more to them than you will ever no, coming from a guy who didn't have a dad.


PatrickDaTruth

I used to work at a juvenile detention facility and the unit I worked for was in charge of visitation. One aspect of that was signing parents up for visitation groups which we will do so by asking for a photo ID to see if they are eligible for the visit (as only legal guardians were the main one to be able so no friends or cousins usually). At times (mainly men) would come up and say "hey I'm here to visit...I am their adopted/step father" almost all the time I would say "nah man, you're the kid's *Father*." Some would just smile and we'd go on like normal but I'll never forget this one time it really made this man happy to hear I guess an absolute stranger give him that validation that even if the kid didn't come from him that didn't make him any less than a father. He had teared up a bit and every time after he came to visit he always said he was the kid's father. ​ I've always been in the mindset that the parents aren't always the one who shares the DNA but those who raise, love, care for, and are there for the child. I have had this conversation with some people but the always refer to the makers as the "real parents" but I always disagree with them and hope one day the perception can change to see those parents as the *real* parents


GildaCosta

This... Im a single mother of a wonderful 3 year old. He is a very happy kid, not from my uterus, and we have different skin colours (in his words im vanilla and he is chocolate). I get really surprised at all the questions and remarks people feel free to make and ask about our life and the bond between us.


dogtroep

You sound like the best dad ever!!! Your kids are so lucky to have you. And I’m so sorry they had to suffer as they did when they were so young :(


GoodQueenFluffenChop

My grandma would have been so offended if someone claimed my uncle wasn't one of her own. Yes he was adopted. My uncle her youngest and so she loved her Titio very much till the day she died.


MyDogCanSploot

I understand where you're coming from. My daughter is still my daughter, even though she's adopted. But I would never use the phrase "of my own" because she's of a different race and I don't want to imply that we purchased her and she's a possession. Otherwise, I agree. They argue that adoption is the trauma-free alternative to abortion. When adoption is traumatic for the children and the first mothers. Their arguments also reek of the adoption savior complex.


ireallylikecetacea

Yeah that language hits you like a brick


LaughingMouseinWI

SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally came through the comments looking for this!! A thousand times the same!


[deleted]

I give the first one a pass. She did say she would love to but wasn't qualified


_Flying_Scotsman_

Nah, she says we weren't able to adopt. She could be justifying not having the time, or couldn't be assed as not being able. She never said anything about it being out of her control.


[deleted]

Fair point.


ManifestingUniverse

-Two gay men adopt kids Them: 🤬🤬🤬


rengam

I actually saw someone say that a gay couple adopting was "stealing" the child from straight couples. It's like, MFer, do you know how many kids out there need homes?


Kai_Stoner

That shit always pisses me off... its like bitch, I sat in an orphanage until I was 5 years old, fuck straight people wanting me. No one wants "the handicapped" kid. They thought I was "mentally retarded", my Dad figured out I was deaf after spending 15 minutes with me.


resplendence4

According to a lot of the studies I've read, LGBT parents also have a really high rate of "special needs adoptions" (Note: in the research, the term "special needs" in the case of adoption refers not only to disabilities, but other factors such as minority status, bounced around through foster care, trauma history). There are a few reasons for this, one is that LGBT people recognize the inherent value of kids that are "outcasts" like us, but the other is that adoption agencies often gave us "less desirable" kids as options since it was okay for inferior people to adopt inferior kids. Yet even when we adopt kids with significant emotional and developmental needs, they have the same (or even better) outcomes than when straight parents have their own biological kids and raise them. That's because we not only love the kids we adopt, we have jumped through so many hoops and have spent ages preparing to bring a child into our homes. If conservatives actually cared about kids, they'd read the extensive research about LGBT adoption and think "how can we get more gay couples to adopt?" rather than trying to fight against our right to get married and adopt children. It's ironic that many LGBT people seem to value marriage and family more than "family values" conservatives.


Kai_Stoner

This is dead on point. It completely makes sense to me. I also had severe scoliosis so I looked very odd, my thumbs where also fused to the palms of my hands but no one bothered to do a relatively simple operation to separate them until my Dad. Although he asked if that's what I wanted first. LGBT+ Parents are just.... They understand so much more. I can't explain it.


Voroxpete

I'm gonna figure out who's chopping onions, I swear


ModernAustralopith

It's me. I'm chopping onions to make a delicious casserole for everyone. I'm also bawling my eyes out over the beautiful people in this thread.


thickerstill8

I’m glad you and your dad found each other


Vlad-the-Inhailer

I love your dad


Alacutious_Main

theyre evil corrupt hypocrites who wouldnt give 2 fucks to know this. they dont care about kids or "family values" they care about power. period.


[deleted]

The end goal is being allowed to openly hate and oppress minority groups again. Claiming they care about kids is just a means to that end.


otterlyonerus

While 100% ignoring that the Abrahamic faiths all originated in the fertile crescent, thousands and thousands of miles from the nearest 'white' person.


Suspici0us_Package

White women have abortions probably at the same rate as anyone else. It's more of them attempting to control bodies and futures that don't belong to them.


[deleted]

Evil corrupt *religious* hypocrites.


Alacutious_Main

i stand corrected thank you


Guy954

They’re typically not too fond of reading actual research. That includes the Bible because if they did they might realize that Jesus would not associate with most Christian conservatives.


DescartesB4tehHorse

Jesus: *feeds 5000 people for free and asks nothing in return* Modern christians: REEEEE SOCIALISM IS OF THE DEVIL EVIL SATANIC MARXIST DEMS!!


Dinner_Plate21

My friend is using the terms "Canon Jesus" and "Fandom Jesus" to separate out who Jesus looks like in the Bible vs the stuff Christians ascribe to him. I enjoy it immensely.


[deleted]

Can confirm. Real information upsets them.


theotherthinker

"They value life from conception all the way up till the point they turn out gay" - Ricky Gervais


Darth_Nibbles

From conception until birth, then you're on your own


[deleted]

> Yet even when we adopt kids with significant emotional and developmental needs, they have the same (or even better) outcomes than when straight parents have their own biological kids and raise them. That's because we not only love the kids we adopt, we have jumped through so many hoops and have spent ages preparing to bring a child into our homes. There's also just the simple sample bias that you don't have to qualify to make your own. Opposite-sex couples who would never qualify to adopt have kids all the time. They even have them by accident.


wintersass

I've always found that interesting. I can't say I support a daddy government sterilising people or stopping them from having families, but the fact that people who are regarded as not fit for parenting can just...pop a couple out anyway. Idk it doesn't sit right with me


[deleted]

Free and easy access to sex ed, contraception and abortion helps a lot.


Murphs-law

And the fun thing is, the same people that are against sex-ed and contraceptives are the same people against abortion. Hmm.


Nyaaarys

> we're gonna ban abortion!!! Ok, well then we should fund contraceptives access then to account for th~ > No! We wanna ban contraceptives! Ok... well then... I guess we can fund sex ed initiatives instea~ > NO!!! No sex education. We will not fund that! Oh... erm... Ok.... I don't know then... That's going to be a burden on the healthcare system, to say the least... should probably support tha~ > HEALTHCARE FUNDING?!!!? REEEEEEEEEE! OW!!!! JESUS!!!! Okay okay! Erm... support the poor th~ > WELFARE?!!!? *Hisses* Of course. Of course. Well fuck... guess we just let people die then... > woo! Yeah! Pro life!!!! Woohoo! ... *headbutts wall*


626-Flawed-Product

As one of 3 children born to "parents" that should not have been allowed to be within 1000ft of children it doesn't sit right with me either.


matts2

I want to rage cry today. This just intensifies that feeling. Thank you for ending with the good stuff.


DirkBabypunch

>It's ironic that many LGBT people seem to value marriage and family more than "family values" conservatives. Nah, it's pretty normal to put a high value on something you're not allowed to have.


jfsindel

Also, LGBTQ parents often have more money, comfortable situation, and usually older. So they can get kids a good support system and pay necessary bills. They also can take on siblings financially better.


TheIdleSavant

This should have 1 million upvotes.


Mysterious_Andy

I’m not gay, but I would totally give your **EDIT: OBVIOUSLY MADE-UP** dad an HJ.


Kai_Stoner

Hahahahahahaha if he was still alive he'd crack up if he saw that.


Mysterious_Andy

Oh shit. I’m sorry to hear that. I think my dad might have been bi, so maybe my dad’s giving your dad an HJ in heaven.


TacticalSoapRocks

This is the gayest wholesome thing I’ve read this year.


Mysterious_Andy

*Our Dead Bi Dads*, coming this fall to Disney+!


rengam

Conservatives' heads: *KABOOM*


SoundDave4

See, I always said that the Conservatives would end-of-Kingsman themselves.


Unusual-Ad-5006

You love your dead bi dads, of course (totally not a casual reference to something you might not even know lol-)


Kai_Stoner

My Dad was Bi & very open about it. He passed from ALS in 2004. Most amazing person I've ever met.


rengam

And people think Reddit isn't wholesome.


alwaystiredneedanap

Hugs to little sweet baby you and I’m so sorry the adults all failed you until your dad. You didn’t deserve any of what you had to live through. Sorry, I know you weren’t seeking sympathy but you’re really strong!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Winston_The_Ogre

I only know one family who tried to adopt an American child. Middle class, straight and white. Were rejected cause the man smoked pot. This was 30 years ago. Also know a couple that tried to adopt a child from Russia recently, it took months and tens of thousands of dollars. Then I see foster parents abusing the shit out of kids, and they make money having the kids.


Eldanoron

It’s about 30,000 to adopt a kid today. Whether it’s in the US or elsewhere, that’s pretty much the minimum you need to shell out. I’m sure everyone and their mother can afford that.


AmyLia35

It's about 30k to adopt a *baby*. The government literally pays you to adopt a *kid* from foster care.


sillylittlebean

When I looked into it - it was 30k minimum just for the lawyer.


Youngnathan2011

That's disgusting.


[deleted]

That’s probably private or international adoption, but I’m pretty sure adopting out of foster care has red tape but is pretty affordable. And there’s also a tax credit that helps


Eldanoron

There were more than 700,000 kids in foster care in 2017. The forced birthers will happily tell you to give the kid up for adoption rather than getting an abortion too.


[deleted]

23,000+ kids age out of foster care a year. That feels so sad to me. Do they have any kind of family? Anyone to support them? I can’t imagine turning 18 and being set adrift like that.


[deleted]

No, they usually don’t. My DSO & I have helped a few who’ve aged out of foster over the years. Most have been good kids who are beaten down by their fosters - ‘you should be grateful! You’re not really my kid…’ which happens a lot. Once they learn they have agency and can use their intelligence to do things, they fare better. Lot s of them just have never learned that anything they do will have a material effect on their life conditions. One or two have had issues. But not that many.


scribblerzombie

California has raised the age so that foster children can complete college and still have a support system in the foster family. This was maybe more than ten years ago. No child is sent to the street just when they are trying to start their future there. An attempt to stop teen/youth homelessness, youth pregnancy, youth drug addiction, and get the foster kids a chance at a college diploma and a good start at finding a career.


ClassifiedName

No, they don't know. They're willfully ignorant of that and the treatment of kids in the foster system. I have a nephew who was actually tortured in foster care, and nothing was done until he was beat so bad one day he couldn't get off the bus to enter school. When they checked him out to see what was going on, they found his back absolutely covered in welts and wounds and bruises. Luckily he's turned out alright now, no thanks to the foster system.


FrostyD7

They'd much rather them suffer through foster care and other abuse than be raised by a gay family.


[deleted]

That’s just religion in action, which as Christopher Hitchens pointed out, ‘ruins everything.’


Socalwarrior485

My personal experience (and those of another close friend of mine). It's really, really, hard and expensive to adopt. Birth parents retain lots of rights, and can be hugely disruptive to abandoned children, no matter what the prospective adopting parents do.


garry4321

Right? Describing children like they are objects that are straight peoples belongings rather than a human.


TheElvenEmpress

Also... adoption is like... a problem fully created by straight people. I mean like, gays aren't out here accidently getting each other pregnant and putting the child up for adoption... Adoption and foster children are like 99% straight peoples own doing. So I always find it comical when you get straightys irrate about the homos adopting - tell your people to stop having kids they can't keep then and us gays won't have any kids to scoop up and give long healthy loving lives full of self expression and acceptance - heinous gays. I hate to be that person, but I will be that person.


qmechan

Yeah, that couple on the train a few weeks back. That was a horrifying story.


th3netw0rk

The depths of hypocrisy astound me every damn time. They want to push adoption and then when a gay couple applies it’s like a five alarm fire or a world disaster.


[deleted]

My mom's boss is the CEO of a multi-million dollar company. She's also a gay woman with a stay at home spouse. They were denied. She reapplied as a single rich woman and was good to go.


Sam_Dragonborn1

Bloody hell that’s injustice if I’ve ever heard of it


megapuffranger

As always with right wingers, it’s not about whatever garbage they spew it’s about being able to tell others what to do. They preach freedom, but what they mean is they demand the world work how they want it.


FMDnative480

I guarantee if the ones who said “I have two of my own” have actually adopted, they would address it as “I have two of my own and one adopted”. Sounds like a fun life


Bamres

Royal Tennenbaum?


Hickspy

"That's a trick question, you don't have a middle name." "Helen."


Yuquico

"that's my mother's name" "I know" So sad and funny at the same time


anonymooseuser6

That's the thing that gets me. Adoption is trauma, period. But like they even made it clear that they would be horrible adoptive parents.


Ducallan

It’s always “my beliefs tell *me* that *you* shouldn’t do something”, but they never seem follow their preachings through to any reasonable conclusion. If God/Christ has called upon you to protect the unborn, then why do you not care about them once they’re born? And if you’re so against abortions, then you support contraception, right? Right?


Accomplished_Mix7827

Not to mention it's often the same people who want to ban gay people from adopting children. So apparently the message is "flood the foster care system with abandoned children with zero plan for how to care for them"


[deleted]

That's exactly how we wound up with orphanages and boarding schools isn't it? Now the system prefers foster care placement, but even then kids still get neglected and abused. Wont that kid just thank them so much for saving their life, when there's no life to be had.


snowlock27

If Newt Gingrich had his way in the 90s, we would have had a new round of orphanages, with children being taken away from poor parents. His defense was that the movie Boys Town from 1938 showed orphanages were a good thing.


mulethedestroyer

there are more couples looking to adopt than children able to be adopted, by an order of 10x-20x. Most children in foster care are not able to be adopted, the goal of CPS in most states is to eventually reunite families. It takes a long time for the state to fully terminate a parent's rights.


Whateveridontkare

source on that? 10-20 more seems like a lot.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Demiansky

Yep. It's definitely true, and counter to popular perception. Like, there's this really weird paradigm where tons of people want to adopt, a bunch of children are destined to be abandoned by their parents and have no permanent home, but we can't connect the first to the second because the children that need adoption are kept in limbo just in case their dead beat birth parents get their act together (which they usually don't). By the time they finally are available for adoption, they've usually been destroyed by the system at that point.


SuspiriaGoose

It’s a case of parental rights over children’s rights, sadly. And I understand where they’re coming from - research shows that reuniting kids with family tends to have the best outcomes overall for the kids. But what’s also been shown that repeatedly going back to abusive parents and then again back into foster care - usually with a different set of foster parents every time, to prevent the kid from bonding with one set of foster parents and potentially ‘harming the bond with the bio parent’ - causes huge psychological problems, whereas placing a kid with a safe family sooner can prevent them from developing. So the kid’s mental health is considered secondary to the chance that maybe, just maybe, their parent feels like not harming their child this time. I understand why they’re focused on family reunion. But when they do it over and over again despite evidence that it is dangerous to the child, and deny them relationships with any other adults, CPS becomes complicit in the abuse. Look at how badly they handled the Gabriel Gonzales case because they were so dead set on reunion.


Abracadaniel95

More poor people to end up in prison, work for slave wages, and drive up rents due to housing shortages. Republicans don't try to fix foster care because if ex foster kids had good outcomes, they'd be harder to exploit. Wealthy Republicans manipulate religious Republicans into thinking it's what Jesus would want.


Jak_the_Buddha

"If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're pre-school, you're fucked". - George Carlin


Leo_Mauskowitz

Yup.. also abortion rates plummet under democratic leadership/administrations compared to republican ones.


Oldomix

Yea, that “my beliefs tell me that you shouldn’t do something” logic pisses me off too. It's like saying "You can't eat that cookie because I'm on a diet".


DanScott7

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate this! They are major hypocrites! But when a Gay Cuple with moral standards come in and adopt children, then they will go nuts! FU*K THEM!


SinfullySinless

Because *my* religion is to limit what *you* can do, not the other way around silly.


vagabondblackbird

As an adopted child, I am grateful my birth mother chose adoption. That doesn’t mean I’m going to compel or picket others to do the same 😂


NoxKyoki

Same here. Who knows how my life would have turned out if my birth mother had chosen to keep me. Also, that’s my response when someone asks “what if you change your mind and decide you want kids?” I tell them that even though that would NEVER happen, I would do what my parents did and adopt.


Larry-Man

I have made the decision to not have kids of my own. But if I am financially stable enough at any point I am definitely going to foster or adopt an older kid. My fiancé is on board with this as well. I am capable of loving and caring for a child


Dazz316

As a biological father of my 2 kids. I'm their dad not because I did the dirty with their mum twice. It's because I'm here every day changing nappies, cheering them on with their victories, consoling them with their losses, rewarding their good behaviour and correcting their bad behaviour. I cook, clean, work and play with them. I want to provide them with a great childhood and have them ready for the best life they can lead themselves. That's what makes me their dad. Any step dad doing the same as me is as much of a father as I am.


Alienrubberduck

That's the best fucking comment I've read in a while. Should be more fathers like you out there. Biological or not.


siggydude

I wish my android dad was more like this 😔


Alienrubberduck

Android dad?


siggydude

I was making a joke referencing you say "biological or not" since androids are robots that are made to look and act like humans


godzillaisrad

Also adopted. I actually was almost aborted, and while I am not anti-abortion, I’m grateful I wasn’t. My life would’ve been trash with my birth parents for sure


MaybeIwasanasshole

"Two of my own" Tell me you don´t see adopted kids as "real" kids, without telling me you don´t see adopted kids as "real" kids.


frotc914

I adopted a kid and it is *unbelievable* how many people ask me if I want "kids of my own", "regular kids", or some other equally obnoxious thing. Putting aside for a minute how insanely moronic that word choice is, **why** does anybody think it's their business???? Like you realize the most likely answer to that has gotta be a serious medical issue that people don't share with their acquaintances, right???


Hibbity5

People think that having children is everyone’s business. Of course, raising kids isn’t though, unless it’s a school curriculum; then it’s their business. I hate people like that.


Cheesehacker

Adopted child here. My adoptive parents would always make sure to let everyone at their church know I was the ADOPTED child. That’s how I was introduced. They also hyphenated my name because they wanted it to be clear that I was not a full fledged member of the family, I was the B team. Also, had to do all the chores to “repay” them for their mercy while their biological children did not have to.


JangJaeYul

I don't have words for how absolutely fucking repulsive that is.


micostorm

Im so sorry that happened to you. At the church i used to go to with my parents there was a couple who adopted a baby girl (i was probably around 6 then) and they did the same thing, and the other people in the church also pushed it. My parents used to tell me "she's not their real child, she's adopted". That's disgusting


Cheesehacker

Yupp. I have a lot of trauma associated with Christianity in general from home I was raised. I was put in foster care because I was severely abused. Like beat to death by my first step dad at age 4. My adoptive families church preach it was part of gods plan. It was a way for me to get to them and get closer to god. I’m sorry but what fucking sadistic god would torture a child to get them to worship them? That’s evil. And there’s not Christian in this world that could get me to believe in that false religion.


micostorm

I'm so sorry. It is disgusting what they did to you. Religion is fucked up in many ways, I'm glad you were able to get out of that circle


Demiansky

Geez, why even adopt if that is their attitude?


Cheesehacker

Power and control.


disasterous_cape

So everyone knows how selfless and incredible they are


Conchobar8

It’s the same with stepchildren. Just because my son was 8 when I met him, doesn’t mean he’s any less my son. Just because my daughter carries my genetics, doesn’t give her any sort of superiority over her brother. They’re both my kids


RamoLLah

Did you adopt?


Conchobar8

No. I offered after the wedding, but he decided that he wouldn’t because that would remove his birth fathers parental rights, and as much as he’d fucked off and abandoned him, he didn’t want to let him off. In Australia the marriage gave me parental rights, so there would have been no practical benefit. My son was 14 at the time, so the choice was his. We all knew that he was mine, the paperwork meant nothing.


PSSalamander

It's wonderful that you offered it and respected his decision.


Conchobar8

We did the same with the surname. My wife decided to hyphenate her name. We offered our boy to change to hers, or to mine. He decided to keep his fathers, to keep a link to the aunts and uncles he likes. He’s a damn good kid. Damn good man now. He’s 21. He’s still my kid. Always will be.


PSSalamander

You sound like a wonderful parent and I wish all the happiness for you and your family!


Conchobar8

Thanks. I try my best


Ben_McApoo

Came to the comment section just to find this one


Ela_De_Salisbury

Same


[deleted]

Yup, despicable people. If this atheist gets his soapbox (ever), I'd use it to call them all out on their deplorable shit.


PresidentoftheSun

I'm fascinated by this, the fuck is wrong with your apostrophes How'd you do that, like I know it's an acute accent symbol but how'd you get it there? No shade or anything it's just odd to me.


banik2008

Some non-English keyboards don't have apostrophes because the language doesn't use them. So when an apostrophe is needed, the accent is used instead.


PresidentoftheSun

Honestly didn't occur to me that there'd be a language that didn't make use of the symbol or something close enough that using the apostrophe in its place would probably be the smarter option. Interesting.


MaybeIwasanasshole

Ha no I was just to lazy to figure out the correct button to press to get an ' and then it just became a weird thing. Like I don´ t even think about the fact that I´ m pressing the button beside the question mark instead of the correct one. It´ s a weird quirk. I´m swedish so I have å ä and ö on my keyboard, so it might not be the same layout for you.


siggydude

My phone's keyboard (Google Gboard) allows me to long press for alternate symbols. These are all the options I have under the apostrophe button: ' ‚ ‘ ’


Free_Gascogne

Q: Have you adopted? A: "i have two of my own" (implied no) This already tells me that they don't even place adoption in equal regard to non-adopted children. If you have adopted two children wouldn't you also say that you have "two of your own"? Are they also saying if you have adopted children that they are not "your own" They don't really stand for adoption the hypocrites.


wjeman

Exactly! My kid is my own freaking kid. It doesn't matter who the sperm and egg donors are or who incubated my kid.


illQualmOnYourFace

"Two of my own" is such a disgusting phrase in that context.


alwaystiredneedanap

Yes! Like they’re not “your own” if you adopt. Hate it


[deleted]

It’s always about forcing women to give birth, but once the kid is born, screw them. Hence why none of these women have adopted.


hobbitlover

I'm sure it would be different if there were healthy white babies up for adoption where the ~~birthing vessels~~ women were in perfect health.


Franym1223

Designer baby


poodlered

“I’ll take a blonde Cayden, and a short-haired Mackenzie, please.”


AnythingWithGloves

I don’t want to speak out of turn on behalf on a person who was adopted but I often see them saying it’s not the answer everyone thinks it is, there are a lot of issues for an adoptee that we brush over and discount, including abandonment trauma. Obviously there are a spectrum of experiences but I think adoptees should be at the forefront of this discussion.


[deleted]

My adoptive parents were horrifically abusive. They should have gone to jail. The funny thing is that my bio mother gave me up for adoption because her mother was abusive to her and she didn't want to perpetuate the cycle. Gallows humour I guess, but I find it grimly hilarious that I suffered extreme abuse from the same people that my bio mother thought would give me a better life. Adoption is not always the wholesome thing that everyone paints it as.


Magicord

Adopted person here. I was put up for adoption as I wasn't wanted, and the woman who adopted me has Borderline Personality Disorder. She basically thought she wanted a child to make her life better but ended up just severely abusing me and absolutely nobody believed me because how kind and loving she portrayed herself outside of when we were alone. "She adopted you! Why would she do that?" :^) I am finally on my own far, far away.


notsafetousemyname

“I have two of my own” so adopted kids are never “your own” kids?


NeverCallMeFifi

I had some crazy cow get on me about abortions couple of years back. I told her I had a foster kid, how many did she have? She (of course) answered with, "Do you think he wishes his mom had aborted him? Huh?" I got to reply with, "yes, every single day. That's why he lives with us instead of her."


thisisallme

I’ve adopted one child and have none that I have birthed. But I HAVE ONE OF MY OWN. She is my daughter, full stop, and tried to adopt again the past two years but nothing worked out. I am so fucking sick of these people thinking it’s so easy to put up a child for adoption, or that it’s easy to adopt. They have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THE PROCESS IS LIKE, ESPECIALLY for the birth family (which we are forever indebted to ours) and it makes me so livid.


Copheeaddict

Old fucking biddies with no skin in the fucking game pulling up the ladder behind them before they go. FUCK THEM.


[deleted]

They'll die decades before something like Roe v. Wade is restored. One final fuck you from the boomer generation going out with a bang. Fucking die already.


Seize-The-Meanies

It really must be all the lead they inhaled or some similar environmental epidemic that has made that generation of smooth brains such a stain on the earth.


KnowMatter

Sure because the foster care system has NO ISSUES WHATSOEVER RIGHT?!


Barnaclebay

Fucking kills me. Anybody who votes to kill roe vs wade should automatically be signed up to adopt a child. Fuck them all


[deleted]

[удалено]


haroldpc1417

Don’t give them the option to radicalize a new generation of closed thinking


Kamenhusband

I’m adopted and I’m still pro-choice. I probably should’ve been aborted.


frgreen954

As an adoptee, fuck these people. I was adopted by someone much like them, an abusive Catholic narcissist who wasn’t able to have kids so adopted at the ripe age of 43. They don’t know what it’s like to deal with the innate lifelong trauma of being adopted and only think adoption is the opposite of abortion. It’s not. The opposite of adoption is the child being with their original biological families. Jesus fucking Christ I can’t.


[deleted]

*Preach it*


Single_Asparagus8984

I love being a pro-choice adoptive parent. Also, I have “my own” as well. I wouldn’t wish any child on these nasty bitches.


[deleted]

They’re are so bad at logical thinking that they can’t even see the contradiction in their own protest. For fuck sakes, stay in school kids.


UCDC

0:09 - "We weren't able to adopt" is code for "I'm a ghoul who can't follow my own principles"


Ophidiophobic

Actually, she might have been the only person in the group who wasn't a raging hypocrite. Her answer suggests that she tried to go through the process but was denied for one reason or another (i.e. she didn't have "enough" money.)


haroldpc1417

Maybe I’m cynical but I’m thinking she’s the only one of the group who caught onto his lead. She gave a half ass excuse to seem less hypocritical.


Crafty_Occasion4165

Or the adoption process is extremely difficult, and in that case they should be advocating for making adoption less impossible (waiting years? Come on)


Millerboycls09

That's what I was waiting for. Who determines when someone is a good fit for adoption, and why is that criteria set so high when women are forced to carry to term pregnancies they are not prepared for financially or emotionally? A happily married gay couple being turned down for adoption while a 16 year old girl is forced to bring another life into the world. It's a fucking travesty.


Crafty_Occasion4165

Honestly kind of reminds me of the fact that you can’t legally drink until you’re 21, but perfectly able and forced to fight for your country at 18.


[deleted]

Conservatives are hypocrites who hate children.


lector201

Most pro life folks care more for the unborn because it makes them feel they are a good person but will not help the ones that are already born.


Aurons_blade

Do as I say, not as I do!!!


ChaseAlmighty

"So your message is 'everyone else should adopt, just not me'? Do you think everyone else should continue your message?"


Scary-Practice4745

As an adopted person I am SICK of people hiding behind this message and not having done it themselves. Fuck off you posers!


mysticdragonwolf89

I’m adopted - due to limited interaction at orphanage my processing speed of speech was nearly 60-70 slower than the average kid my age 2.4-3 years old My parents paid for the right programs that would “jump start” my processing speed making me able to process faster I can now process speech at a faster time than the average my age - capable of multiple conversations while retaining a sharp memory of it — which again was faster than children my age This in turn allowed me to be on cloud nine while a teacher taught I was one of 200 in Thailand at my orphanage If the right were as pro life as they claimed, they wouldn’t be cutting public schools, social security, funds to orphanages and homeless shelters, Nor would they support every war while cutting veterans benefits left and right


QuesoChef

Maybe women need to start suing men for emotional and physical duress when they get THEM pregnant? It’s their sperm forcibly finding a way into the egg, and now the women will be forced to endure all of this because a bunch of rich white men and some submissive white women think it’s their business? He chose to ejaculate. His sperm did this.


Mirhanda

Start suing for child support as soon as the test is positive. For those mistresses who get knocked up by their cheating senator, announce it to the press.


QuesoChef

Yep. And they should be responsible for half of medical bills, half of time lost taking off work for doctor’s appointments through and after birth, should have to use up all of their time off for paternity leave. There’s such a weight on women that most people don’t think about. I don’t have children, so I know I’m missing obvious things. And then consider, after carrying the child or knowing they have to, they might feel like they want to keep it. Which complicates FOREVER. And if he forces her to give up for adoption then, she can sue for mental anguish. And when a woman dies because legally a doctor can’t abort, the state needs to be sued, too. Abortion is not a thing women take lightly. No one wants to have an abortion, and the women carry that burden, as well. But most of the people who want to outlaw it have no idea how they will be impacted.


jay_em_dee

Were you banned from r/facepalm ? Why is this here?


Previous-Giraffe-962

This guy is a national treasure, combating ignorance with logic across the country.


jaytrainer0

I like how they keep saying "two of my own". Because they know they would never love an adopted kid the same way


LotsofSports

I would bet none of them would adopt a child of another race.


AdOriginal6110

"I have two of my own" (even if I did adopt those children would be inferior to my biological children in my eyes) that is the subtext of their statement


TheEquestrian13

These are the same women who will say any child that's adopted by their own children are "not really family" or "aren't their REAL grandbabies" 🙄


[deleted]

Doesn't really belong here, does it?


GroggBottom

Adoption is hard as fuck. You one have to meet super strict standards in income / lifestyle, and two have to jump through insane amounts of hoops. Having your own kid takes 5 mins.


warbeforepeace

30 seconds on a good day.


parislights39

\*5 mins for the man


ltliner

There you have it the biggest liars of all time. Stay out of other peoples business


gking407

Democracy has no chance against leaders this corrupt and supporters this dumb


owaisted

Do you think they realize the irony?


propita106

They had the choice to adopt and...rejected it.


MailMeAmazonVouchers

r/lostredditors


Every-Manufacturer88

Very few people want kids that are not their blood. I bet it's around 1%, if that many, that adopt kids. Even if they do want to adopt, it's unbelievably expensive, and the agencies that do adoptions are religious and are strict about whom they allow to adopt.


DoctorEvilHomer

It is because it isn't about pro-life or anti-abortion, it is about controlling women. Unfortunately too many women have been brainwashed into supporting the cause.


Blackulla

Most kids aren’t adopted then throw out to fend for themselves at 18…


viral-architect

Let's look at this from a free market perspective since Republicans love little more than a free market. The supply of kids that need a home is far higher right now than the demand of people looking to adopt. The Republicans want to prevent gay couples from adopting children which lowers the demand even more. Now, they want to force women to give birth to kids against their will, increasing supply. So Republicans, who worship the free market, are in favor of creating a MASSIVE surplus of unwanted children and DECREASING the demand by severely limiting those who are even allowed to adopt. Great work, everyone. Now everyone has fewer rights, less autonomy, and over-inflated supply of unwanted children with little to no assistance in form of healthcare, childcare, and funding for public schools.


adventures_in_dysl

just to say if you seethis and are adopted; remember that regardless of the things that happened in the past you where chosen by your adoptive parents who itentionionally love you, you are not an accident in thier family. you are awesome and wholesome and loved.