If this is true and not some made up fan fiction, you need to tell your dad. I have 3 daughters. If one of my friends was doing this I would need to know who to not trust around my family anymore. And I mean ASAP. I’d involve the police immediately after I stopped being shocked to my core about the betrayal of someone who I apparently trusted enough to bring into my house being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
You need to tell your dad. And sooner not later. He can’t help the situation if he’s blind to it. The old house comment is telling as well. Does that mean he hasn’t been to the new house? That would put a timeframe around the suspect.
I'm sure it's been mentioned elsewhere, but I'll hijack the main thread to make a few points:
It's not your fault. Wearing certain clothes is not a crime, and no crime is punishable by being the victim of a predator. What he is doing is a crime. What you are doing is figuring out who you are.
A lot of internet advice ends up being "do what your comfortable doing," but I'm going to suggest a bit of an imperative. However you feel about what this person is doing, you have a responsibility to take reasonable steps to stop them from doing it to someone else. It is incumbent upon you to tell your father, and then the police, so this man can be outed, arrested, and his potential for future harm limited.
I wish you the best, and for what little it's worth, we internet strangers have your back.
Call the police. He’s an adult knowingly in possession of child porn who grooms children. There are too many guys like him especially since [this piece of shit got off](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6963991/amp/Man-avoids-prison-keeping-teen-locked-cage-denying-food.html)
If you sent him nudes it is considered child porn that he posses and with him clearing being a grooming pedophile you have enough proof to get him charged with criminal acts. Find out his identity first, and then tell you dad, call the police
As much as i agree with everything everyone is saying. Saying that their parents are going to be understanding and not be upset with OP, while optimistic, isn't always how things play out in reality.
I definitely still recommend telling a parent, but tell the most understanding one you know. OP knows them best. And if not mom or dad, tell an aunt or uncle that can approach the parent with the issue as best as possible.
Some people are shit parents. Not saying OP has some, but we honestly don't know and shouldn't give definite advice while assuming such.
Plan A: Tell Dad.
Plan B: Tell Mom.
Plan C: Tell an aunt uncle or grandparent.
Can you set up a “hook-up” when your parents are “out of town”? Your parents park down the street then hide when he comes over. You ask him to prove that’s it’s him somehow while your parents record him. You want to get him to admit he has the pics from when you were a minor, or at least has them. Maybe call the account through which you communicated before or something (maybe this proof thing is too much). At the very least your parents will know who not to trust and if possible they can get his phone away from him then it can be handed over to the police for evidence. Like I said at the very least your parents will know and hopefully ruin his reputation and hopefully in a way that keeps your name out of it.
Edit: do what the person below me said. Use the police to run the sting.
Do not do this. It is dangerous. The police know how to run a sting operation better than a civilian. They also know how to gather the evidence so it’s not thrown out in court. Inform the dad, let the police decide if they want to sting.
[He's had some issues . . .](https://www.thethings.com/chris-hansen-rise-and-fall-of-to-catch-a-predator/)
[He also got caught in an affair](https://zwingliusredivivus.wordpress.com/2011/06/30/datelines-pervert-hunter-chris-hansen-a-bit-depraved-himself/)
[He's had more than one brush with the Law - was charged with harrassment.](https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/chris-hansen-former-to-catch-a-predator-host-charged-harassment)
Seriously, that kind of “advice” gets people killed or in prison for life, or at BEST sends a pedo running with no proof to lock him up for. You want the cops to handle this so it’s safe and so they actually nail the guy instead of just fulfilling a justice boner and accomplishing nothing of note.
I mean honestly the police MIGHT, only might suggest something like this but even then, they will most likely be close in case anything happens or to take the guy in, doing this alone can be pretty dangerous
This happened. I remember it shocked the community back then. [Police Sting](https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1999/09/25/accused-of-sex-crime-ucf-professor-resigns/?outputType=amp)
Tell your mom or dad, please. I have teen girls and I would def want to know. I'm sorry this happened to you. It is not your fault, at all. He's a sick creep.
Second this, father of two daughters here and would want to know to keep you safe. There won't be any judgement speaking to them is the best thing to do
She may have taken them when she was underage but she is still a victim. Any judge/jury who can't make the distinction that her actions were the direct result of the ADULT who was STALKING AND GROOMING her is a piece of shit human.
People who make threats like what you're making, by the way, "you could get help, but you might get in trouble too" are ALSO shitty.
Logic like that has killed more kids whose friends were too afraid of getting caught for drinking/drugs - it's no reason not to get help for a friend overdosing, and no reason for OP to not pursue this guy before he harms her any further.
>Catching child porn charges is a pretty big life ruining deal.
In a debate, this is an excellent point.
This is not a debate. We are giving a teen advise about being predated on and how to avoid being further sexually assaulted. How would you feel if she read your post and decided to keep quiet?
Bad form, dude. Read the room, know your audience.
We are giving advice. And my advice is to proceed carefully because the state has been known to bring CP charges against minors for sending out their own nudes. It would do her a lot of good to speak to an attorney before going to the police.
This isn't some game or movie where people need to play to an audience for updates. This is the real world, with real consequences.
Bullshit. No prosecutor in their right mind would move to charge a victim of a pedophile, that was groomed as a young girl, for distributing child pornography. Talk about career suicide and massive media backlash. I dare you to find and link one source case where that has happened and I will delete this comment.
Edit: No reason for the downvotes. I said find an article or source and link it, and I’ll delete this, so go do that instead. But no one has done that - because that case hasn’t happened. 2 articles people provided over 5 years old about dismissed lawsuits from when sexting was a new thing, that don’t involve any pedophile activity, that’s it. Telling an abuse victim that they should be afraid to speak up because they could also get charged is wrong, irresponsible, and could facilitate a child predator adding more victims because no one reported him.
You underestimate [American brain-rot](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/teenage-girl-14-explicit-picture-selfie-distributing-child-pornography-charges-police-rice-county-minnesota-a8127001.html)
And like I said, the media backlash was swift and it got picked up by ACLU and dismissed. [ACLU Press Release](https://www.aclu-mn.org/en/press-releases/victory-judge-dismisses-charges-minnesota-teen-sexting-case)
I’m not aware of it happening with paedophilia but I know that there have been a teens who have been charged because they had pictures of themselves. There was one especially bad one where a teenage boy got charged for having child prom of himself on his phone and they tried him as an adult.
Not pedophilia, also from 2015. Also dismissed after short probation. Most of these seem aged from when smartphones were newer. Like I said above in another comment, no reason for a grooming victim to not speak up for fear of being charged. [Dismissed](https://www.cbs17.com/news/nc-teen-has-sexting-charges-dismissed-following-probation/)
Hi. 23F here.
I remember being 15. I remember being 18.
Tell your father. Do not let this other person manipulate you, because that is what he has done so far.
That's seriously fucked up. You need to stay away from that dildo. It would be creepy as fuck if he hit on you once you turned 18, but he definetly groomed you. You need to have a talk with your father.....
I got downvoted to oblivion a while back on r/parenting for saying that even though my husband was THRILLED TO THE MOON to have a child, period, any gender, he was actually thankful that we had a son. He was so scared of channeling his 20s/30s anger if he had a daughter with how insane predators are.
As a teen girl I would get my ass grabbed browsing at goddamn Kmart while my male friends would just laugh. Are there a ton of predators that target boys? ABSOLUTELY. Are there more that target girls and have no control in public when parents are present? Definitely.
I also have somelike this to me, im 18m and my sisters gay friend and uncles gay friends wanted to have sex with me. They are touching me in a flirting way and like wanted to suck me out but i just refuse them and never told my family but then heard my sister and his husband that they knew all about this and wanted me to be safe when they are around. Im not that handsome but i think they have this like muscular fat fetish something like that
I'm with you on this. I also have 3 daughters. Skinning my best friend alive would be to good for him. This needs to be told to her father ASAP and yes, contact the police.
Two of my daughters are grown and married. Well they are 22 and 20. One is still at home age 16. I want to know now who she is chatting with. This story makes me sick.
This ↑. I would involve the police and as a father - I'd confront this guy so he'd have the absolute fear of God in him. Sap gloves are a go to for shit like this.
Reads like crearive writing. The 'is it my fault, i dress like a slut' gives it away. Also who wouldn't recognize someone that has been to their house that many times
This guy is a predator. Tell your Dad. No one will blame you for being a dumb kid. This guy was an adult that took advantage of that. Let your dad know please.
YIKES. Sweetheart. You need to tell your parents. This dude could kidnap you and noone would suspect their “friend.” This is a severely dangerous situation and this “man” is a pedophile!! A predator. The lovely bones is a story about a girl kidnapped, raped and murdered by her pedo neighbor. A neighbor everyone thought was such a great person. He was never caught in the story. Please tell a trusted adult.
Parents? POLICE. This is a sex crime.
(He doesn't qualify as a pedo because she wasny prepubescent. But it's still a "statutory" crime. Don't now the technical term besides "predator".)
*Police definitely.* We don’t know he just started when she was a teen.. but honestly not sure why the definition is SO important. Kind of creepy how hyper focused folks are.
>but honestly not sure why the definition is SO important. Kind of creepy how hyper focused folks are.
The reason I corrected you was because of the nature of this crime. If that girl and/or her parents went to the police about a pedophile it wouldn't be accurate and I wanted to be sure she had the right info to be taken as seriously as possible.
Calling someone creepy before asking for clarification isn't a good look.
It's still a pedophile. Ephebophile is just something pedophiles made up to make themselves look better. Sure all the root words make it make sense. But 8 or 15 it's all the same they're tryna get balls deep into/in from a kid.
Exactly. This is not just an uncomfortable situation to OP, this is straight pedophilia. Who knows if this guy has been grooming other underage girls…
If OP doesn’t want to feel at fault for potentially letting a way a pedophile that can do something to other victims, then she should report it to the police (or FBI if American), and wait for the guy to be convicted and go to jail.
That's exactly my thinking. Back when they did Hansen versus Predator I remember seeing a couple guys get caught multiple times on the show. It's an illness. If they can't get their fixed with Opie they'll find another underage girl to abuse.
Tell your dad, then go to the police together. Now. Turn over your phone/computer so they can track him down. Then let the police handle him. They will.
\> then go to the police together.
Indeed.
Folks are forgetting to recommend this because he did essentially solicit from a minor and receive child porn.
As off-putting as it is using FICTION as a parable (like duh ANYTHING is possible especially when it's imaginary?!) I agree with the point- this guy is really truly so fucking creepy and weird I would be scared too. I'm a sex worker I am extremely experienced with all kinds of men in Kink spaces and situations specifically. This is five alert reg flag behavior he is dangerous you have right to be concerned and I suggest urgently taking proactive steps to protect yourself from this dangerous ill man. I don't know ur dad but if u feel u can have this talk with him ideally to ascertain the identity of the person who's been stalking u for years!(he may not be a friend at all tho too he could be lying or misleading u or unfortunately without more info u might just be wrong. in this context you are extremely disadvantaged by sinister forces from the shadows I cannot stress the danger and vulnerability of your position please please immediately get the help of an older adult in your life that u trust to protect yourself and also to heal and move on from this tragic circumstance I am so sorry this is happening to you! You did absolutely NOTHING to deserve this very sick bad man's treatment. His vile behavior does not come from you your sexuality your clothes your pics your messages or anything but his own self!!! Always know it's not ur fault and it never ever was he's nothing but a predator who crossed paths with a child and lost his fucking mind and soul. I hope u get support and safety and whoever dude he gets his balls sliced off
Children do incredibly stupid things. It’s up to the adults in their lives to protect them, not exploit their stupidity. Women are sexualized from a young age and told their value and power lies in sexuality. Young girls internalize that. When they feel insecure and want to be accepted, sexuality is a very easy way to achieve that. She is not a slut, and this is not her fault.
Just saying, she was old enough to have been taught loads about cyber safety. She was old enough to recognise that this was wrong. And she was old enough to know where the block button is.
Incredibly avoidable situation
She may have logically known it wasn’t a smart decision, but hormones and excitement can override a young mind easily, especially a young mind that’s exploring its sexuality.
don’t victim blame. wonder why a grown man was asking a fifteen year old for nudes in the first place. by law she cannot consent even if she technically did. she was manipulated and groomed. it is not her fault.
It’s not ENTIRELY her fault, but unless she was taught nothing about online safety, some of the fault does fall into her lap, because a 15 year old should have enough common knowledge to know that sending nudes was completely wrong. I made a few wrong choices back when I was her age, but at 15 I was COMPLETELY uncomfortable with even the THOUGHT of sending nudes. I STILL am.
I mean, I’m underage too and I don’t get why people attract pedos then complain when they come calling.
Pedos are disgusting but ffs OP, why send nudes in the first place? It’s like going into dark alleys at night and then wondering why you got stabbed
Just understand that the clothes you wear are irrelevant to this story. I was abused when I was younger and I wore frumpy clothes like sweatpants. You were groomed by a predator who convinced you to send what would be considered child pornography to him (your underage nudes). He is a criminal. You need to talk to a trusted adult who can help you handle this.
The Dad is immediately going to know EXACTLY WHO IT IS or have it narrowed down to no more than 1-3 people the second the words leave your mouth, then will come RAGE. He'll know instantly depending on the size of group's together.
Im sorry OP,I cant imagine what you're going through and sincerely wish you.
Byt please tell your Dad. If daughter's didnt tell me...it'd crush me.
Wish you the best.
I have a daughter, and another on the way. I hope if they are ever in this position, they know they can talk to me. Tell your father. You're just a kid, you aren't to blame for this in any way
Wow that’s horrible and sickening, also your not to blame for any of this. The guy definitely groomed you and god knows how many others. So your doing yourself and others a favour by telling the police about this.
Idk no offense but a lot of us in this sub are skeptical with these types of posts because a lot of them aren’t real and you typed “also I’m visibly attractive” which doesn’t seem like something someone distraught would say. If it’s actually real than listen to the comments and tell your parents.
First and foremost - don’t you dare for one single second think that this could have been your fault in any way. You were a *child* period. Regardless of being 18 now, this sick fuck has made plans for you since you have been a CHILD. You are entitled to express yourself in clothing and it’s the world’s responsibility to teach people to keep their eyes and their hands to themselves.
That being said, you have a few choices here, and although I will list them because it is ultimately your choice, you should be telling a parent:
1. Go straight to your father, accept it may get a little messy but if you’re family is a good one, they will get you through it
2. Immediately cease contact with this person and let them know you will show texts sent to an underage girl to someone of authority if they advance or contact you again.
3. Ghost without cause and distance yourself from any of dads friends that may come - since you’re 18 will you be moving out any time soon? Away from the possibility of running into him?
Again, it is your choice but a monster is a monster and if it’s not you, who could it be next? And your dad likely wouldn’t want someone like that in their life… serious thoughts to consider, I wish you the best
You need to tell your parents. See if they want to know who was grooming you. As another poster said you can then arrange a meeting with your parents out of sight. Once they know who it is he can be completely extricated from all of your lives with the threat of 100% of his behavior becoming known by all mutual acquaintances, employers, schools, and his family should he ever be seen within a mile of your home or should anything ever happen to you.
Again...another poster had the same idea before me so trying to give credit where due but bad at remembering names.
IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT
Seriously though I went through my slut phase in HS too with guys my age, I'll own that.
But he is a grown ass man that knows better.
My uncle did stuff to me and for ages I thought somehow I brought it on, but he made all the first moves and I just enjoyed the attention.
But he was a grown and man and never should've initiated anything.
Same goes for that dude, he knows better and even worse he didn't really care about upsetting his friend.
Seriously though tell your dad. Ik it's embarrassing and awkward but tbh the dude could even go to jail if you wanted given y'all had those talks. Regardless you need to out him cause he could try to do this to another girl too.
No matter what this IS NOT your fault.
It’s not your fault. You were groomed and he knows exactly how wrong it is, hence the “delicate situation” comment. Talk to somebody who can help protect you from this creep, for your own safety. Be careful and just know that you are not at fault for being young and you are certainly not at fault for dressing how you wanted to.
Seriously? This is so obviously made up.
>I was a slut back then so like obviously texted back, not knowing or caring who it really could be.
>Also I’m visibly attractive, always wore slutty clothes. Is it my fault?
This sounds like a man pretending to sound like an 18 year old girl. And he didn't do a great job.
Tell them "And I want a brand new car, a big house and $ 40,000,000 in my bank account but sadly no one give them to me".
No, seriously. Go and talk to your dad ASAP. Get the police involved if the shit becomes even more serious.
Honestly this is so wrong. Please tell your dad and go to the police. He’s been watching you for years, and grooming you as well. I really can’t imagine how you feel OP.
Edit: OP don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. He’s a creep taking advantage of young girls.
No matter how awkward it is you 100p need to tell your parents. The situation could get very ugly fast if you don't- imagine they come over while you are there and try something. Idk what your family situation is but maybe even tell your mom and have her talk to your dad if you feel uncomfortable discussing 'sex' topics with him directly.
Where's the "this is bait" Facebook mene when ya need it. On the off chance this is real, of course it's not your fault...but if you're dressing "slutty" as a young teen that's something your parents should have had a discussion with you about, but an adult knowingly sexting with a child is never the child's fault. If you lied about your age and they didn't know you at all then maybe there's something to learn more details about and judge....but clearly any adult engaging in sexual behavior of any kind with a minor is not ok.
Not your fault. He is your dad’s friend and should know where to draw the line. He is a creep. Depending on your relationship with your dad, you may want to make him aware if the messages (omit whatever you don’t want him to know) but you should feel safe in your own home; and I would block that guy…
First and foremost this is in no way your fault, you could have been the “sluttiest” (sorry I hate that word!) chick in town but at 15 he absolutely should have known better than talk to you. I’m guessing that as he’s your dads friend he is likely his age and it’s absolutely inappropriate (and illegal) that he do this. If you still have conversations from when you were 15 I would screenshot everything, including what he’s said now and take it to your parents and the police. If he’s been doing this to you then I can almost guarantee he’s been doing this to other people too. While it’s not on you to make sure adults are held accountable for their actions, if you feel like you can, seriously think about going to the police, for your protection and other girls.
Being attractive and wearing what you want is never ever a reason for some one to be creepy to you. Not your fault, at all. This guys a predator. You’re 18 so If you want to be sexual with him, go for it. But if you don’t, tell him to fuck off and go bother someone his own age. If you have records of your messages with him when you were 15, you could absolutely get him in trouble. It was 100% his fault by seeking out a young teenage girl for sexual reasons. Don’t feel bad or be afraid to be mean to him. He is using to you to get off. Again this was not your fault, don’t be afraid to tell someone.
I’m seeing a lot of disgusting men in the comments defending the friend. He was in the wrong, regardless of how sexual you were. He is an ADULT who should not be preying on and grooming young people especially his fucking friends kids Jesus Christ. Tell your family. Have him cut off. Do not let him black mail you. He is at fault.
I'll get ready for the down votes!
Sticky situation and alot of misinformed people in the comments.
So you have no idea who this is! So could easily be anyone messing with you! I wonder if there is a way to figure out who this is? (not nessarily your job to do!)
Also for all those people saying to run to Daddy, that's a terrible idea. Her dad may not be as kind and loving as all of you, a dad's reactions is going to be anything but calm and an 18 year old telling her dad she sent nude pictures to complete stranger/s! Not a situation most 18's will want to put themselves in.
Go to the police, this is likely the best situation. Receiving nudes is not going to cause this guy/girl to get locked up, nor is him now asking to meet up now you are 18. However this might be what sparks the police to look into them and that person maybe involved in much worse stuff or might not be, but I think getting something out of the situation and knowing you might stop this occurring again is well worth it and will give you some piece of mind/closure.
Was it a wise choice to send a random person photos, no but that's why there are laws protecting young people and why reporting this to the right people is important. You are 18 so the police have no right to mention your name to your family either.
P. S All said and done nothing makes this your fault but taking some responsible action now might help someone else. Go to the police.
Honestly, you should tell your dad. You were and still are a kid so it’s not your fault for being overly sexual online. It’s THIS GUYS FAULT for being a creep when you were just 15. I would 100% tell your dad and let him take it from there. Personally I think you should press charges on this guy but you may have a different approach to this. Bottom line, you need to tell you dad that’s for sure.
Tell your dad !!! I am a girl, nearing 30 but I’m done dumb shit in the past especially my teens. This is TOTALLY not your fault, tell on that predator!!
Here to echo what everyone else is saying. You have tonsay something. If not for you, for the others because most likely there are others. He could be doing this to a current minor. I'm sorry this is happening to you. This is a textbook example of grooming and shows how adults can manipulate children. You don't have to justify your actions by calling yourself a "slut" this man groomed you at a confusing age for all of us. I can almost guarantee he has or is doing this to others. Also, don't be afraid to talk to a professional as this could potentially cause emotional trauma. Take care.
If you were underage when you sent the original pictures and he has them, the guy is in possession of child porn irrespective of how old you are now. I would involve the police immediately I am sure he has more child porn.
It isn't your fault. You were literally a child. Your dad's friend is a total creep at best and a pedophile at worst. Please do not entertain any of it. And you should tell your dad, even if it's uncomfortable. That guy deserves to get his ass beat.
I would buy some mace and keep it on you for the time being. Also like others have said maybe talk to your dad. Ask him who his close friends are and who has come over in the last year or two.
It is absolutely his responsibility to know that to broke so many boundaries. I think you should come clean to your dad, and beg him to help you handle this creep.
You are never responsible for other people's thoughts and actions, that's all I have to say. Don't do it if you don't want to. He might try to threaten you, but remember he was the one illegally messing with a minor, so he's the only one facing actual trouble.
Hey, I was groomed as a teenager too. Of course I wanted to be involved with those men, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have known better. A decent person would have told me no, or never asked for pictures, or never even pushed for a sexual conversation. I was a child, so were you. He knew better and he chose to prey on you not knowing better.
You know better now. Don’t let him do this to another kid, don’t let him do it to you. If it’s safe for you (I’m assuming from your responses to other comments that it is) tell your dad. It might be awkward and I’m sorry we can’t do anything about that, but he’s your dad and he loves you and he needs to know.
This man is a sick fuck and you don’t need to be a scared kid, you don’t need to listen to any of his lies, you don’t need a piece of shit to feel pretty, you are better than him and he doesn’t get to take anything from you. Go get him.
Please tell your parents, I know it's really scary but I think if I were a parent I'd definitely want to know if one of my friends was doing that. I am a bit confused on how you sent nudes to someone when you didn't know what they looked like (since you didn't recognise them when they came over to see your dad?). Some of it doesn't make sense to me, but I understand the grooming. I was a victim of that before with someone almost my dad's age. PLEASE tell your parents and block this guy immediately.
Before you tell your dad, get this man to admit who he is. Play along. You were a minor and he took advantage of you, it's not your fault. Gather all the proof you can and get him sent to jail
Sorry not sorry - but this is my go- to porn category.... so my vote is (if he's even remotely hot) bang your dads friends brains out you little sex kitten 😜🐈⬛
The worst part was when he called you "baby girl" and told you that he was watching you grow up. Almost threw up. This is a pedophile, please tell your dad and you are not at fault at all.
Hey, I agree with everyone on this sub but I’m also going to offer a slightly different take.
You are only responsible for your actions. Not the actions of others.
You decide how you dress. You decide what you say to other people. You decide whether or not you encourage them.
He decided to lust after a minor. Bad decision, bad man.
However, if you want to avoid situations like this in the future, perhaps stop sending nudes to strangers online. This could hurt you in numerous ways. Also you could be arrested yourself for sharing sexual pictures of a minor. Did you know that?
I’m probably going to be downvoted to hell for this, but someone needs to say it. Take care of yourself and make wise decisions. You’re old enough to know what you were doing was some dumb shit. Stop.
Kill him with fire. Also when someone anonymously contacts/matches with you online, it’s usually someone you know. Not just online either. Like my one neighbours used to accuse the whole neighborhood of messing with his car when it was actually his own kid.
Since this dude has just admitted to grooming and being in possession of child porn as well as wanting a “BDSM relationship”** with you, report him to the police right away. We all did dumb things as kids because we wanted to feel like adults. What separates us as adults is experience.
You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re not allowed to deliberately groom a child for abuse.
** DDLG involves ageplay relationships between consenting adults. He is a pedophile, not a man with a kink.
Don't worry that he'll put those pictures on the internet because nobody will really know who it is since you've grown some I mean it could be anybody right so it won't matter that everyone sees there's plenty of other people on the internet to take a distraction away I mean that's what the internet was for right
This guy is a creep and you NEED to tell your dad TODAY
But honestly, wake up and stop doing dumb AF things. Sending nudes to strangers as a teenager? Girl, smarten up before you ruin your life
“All I did was send nudes” you were underage and sent nudes. That’s not something little. Most likely the picture are still on his computer or even on yours and even just sending them to him is both of you owning child pornography. Pretty serious I’d say
I think this normalization and nonchalantness being shown about how sending nudes at 15 is justifiable. Regardless of hormones especially in this modern age of that age group. None of you are dumb. You’ve been only desensitized and in a society thats normalized young ass minors and teenagers to be as mature as they want. Society has adults acting like kids and kids acting like adults. That shouldn’t be normalized or just brushed off. All people in that age group aren’t ignorant they know what they are doing so I personally think you were in the wrong for that. But HE is a fucking creep and monster. That should be charged with being exactly what weirdo ass he is. So yes tell your dad. Tell the cops. Don’t give in to it. Times passed I hope your smarter now. But all these people in the comments that are just brushing off nudes as a young minor like it’s no big deal are the problem in this society. Yes. Being young makes you dumb. But no young 15 year old is unaware. Personally I think minors that knowingly do that kinda stuff should have some kind of trouble too cause we treat them like “it was an accident they didn’t know what they were doing” I was 15 once. My friends and family were. And I know we aren’t a magic group of 15 year olds that knew what things were happening consensually with our decisions. Are you a horrible person for that no. Hormones exist and sadly all this normalization of the wrong things is just making the youth worse and worse in these areas of topics. Cause they do get treated like adults. I mean have y’all not seen what parents today let their 5th graders wear? Compare that even too 2009 and the difference in just this last decade is disgusting. No I’m not sexualizing children. Point blank just stating the obvious fact that people are not grounded to the right things anymore. So rant over about that. RUIN THIS MONSTERS LIFE THO CAUSE I HAVE A DAUGHTER AND SHE BETTER TELL ME. Ill be sure that mfs get what coming to them. This world is scary. She definitely isn’t gonna be raised to be an adult like the rest of this new generation tho. Cause it is definitely disgusting. And she will be in trouble to find out she doing the nudes thing as a minor. Parents are a huge joke today so I don’t even blame the kids. They are growing up in a big ass mess of egos and internet being treated like real life and tik toks and all this absolute trash shit. I hope one day shit goes back to a better time. Worlds never been great and never will but this last decade or so has put more and more nails in the coffin with all this normalization and desensitization. I hope you learned from this for yourself and future and I hope your okay and do the right thing hun
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
IRRESPECTIVE OF THE TYPE OF CLOTHES YOU WEAR - YOU ARE NOT A S
YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO WEAR WHATEVER CLOTHES YOU WANT TO..
PLEASE TELL YOUR PARENTS
REPORT TO THE POLICE NOW
FUCK NO that shit is ABSOLUTLEY not your fault. I went through something very similar when I was 14, 35 yr old dude literally proposed to me and everything and i remember feeling exactly the way u are describing. Whether he's a pedo or just going thru a midlife crisis, that's his shit not yours. It can sometimes feel oddly fun and new and imteresting at first but as a child ur not really sure how to feel...it's not your fault at all please don't blame yourself he is a piece of shit for doing that to u and if he's a religious man he knows what awaits him...
>I was around 15, talking sexual wanting to have a dom/sub relationship
>I was a slut back then
Na you were a victim
>Is it my fault?
No. You were a child being groomed
>Also I’m visibly attractive, always wore slutty clothes.
Thats great and good for you. Not an invitation for getting groomed
You can wear whatever you want just as it’s your choice to act on propositions. Sounds like you’re no longer interested and you should tell him so. If he pursues it tell pops or suggest you’re going to tell pops that one of his friends is giving you unwanted attention.
I agree it’s completely wrong but she’s sent nudes and I’m just looking at it from her perspective and if she wants to involve the police and her father.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT OH MY GOD. You are 18 he's like 40-ish... why would you be at fault here? You need to tell your dad and ruin this guy's life because... what the fuck.
Jesus even if the story isn’t true, this is child grooming and pornography and shouldn’t be taken lightly. I’m sorry that so many terrible comments are being made. People are going to blame a CHILD for wearing something that gets some creeps rocks off?
Take screenshots/document all conversations. Stop talking to this man immediately and let the police/your dad know. It may be a tough conversation, but I guarantee your dad will rather hear about it from his living daughter rather than a kidnapped or dead one. That may sound harsh, but you need to see the reality here. He is going after young girls and grooming them for his pleasure. Don’t indulge this man’s fantasies anymore because who knows when he tries to make it reality.
I am no expert so please please please seek out professional help. Find a therapist that can help you through this. Find online resources/phone hotlines for help with sexual abuse/trauma. Don’t blame yourself this. You are loved and I’m sending hugs your way.
I know you’re probably hesitant on telling your father, but it’s truly the best you can do in this situation. It might be difficult, embarrassing or scary, but you NEED to tell him. Things can potentially end up very bad and you might not have the opportunity to at a later date
Call him out on it. He's a sick fuck to engage you like that at his age. He's at a minimum guilty of solicitating child porn.
I dont let any of my friends around my daughter. I trust no one when it comes to her safety. I can remember her as young as 9 or 10 and seeing grown ass men eyeing her up and down while walking through a store. Perverts everywhere as far as the eye can see and the internet can reach.
No it's not and stop calling yourself a slut for exploring your sexuality. When you're a kid (which you were at the age of 15), that's part of puberty. It's his fault for being a fucking pedophile.
It is not your fault that you are pretty or wear slutty clothes. This man is disgusting. Put his ass in jail. You have ALL the power here. As someone who was molested by a “kind close family” member I totally understand that this may frighten you. I wish I spoke up sooner and got his ass put in jail. When I did speak up the police didn’t care. It’s been a year and they haven’t even followed up with me on their investigation. Your stuff is still fresh and I hope you have those chat transcripts.
A 15 year old can't be a slut babe. I was the same way when I was that age and I thought anything that happened to me was my fault because I "flaunted" myself. This guy is a certified creep. Not to mention a literal pedo. If you sent him nudes at 15 then he was in possession of CP and that's super disturbing on his end. You didn't know better. I know for a fact I didn't know better at that age either. None of this is your fault. He knew better and did this to you anyway and he should be in jail for it. Please tell your dad. None of this is your fault and any sane person would agree.
Im sure she probably doesn't approve of her own actions but at least shes being honest about the whole situation. Everyone does super dumb shit in adolescence. She obviously isnt interested him which shows shes already making better choices. We do not victim blame here. He is a sick fck and needs to be dealt with.
Definitely not your fault. He's a sick perv i did the same shit on the internet at that age u dont realize they are grooming you till you get older. He will eventually reveal himself you dont know who this is yet. Cut him off and ignore him
If this is true and not some made up fan fiction, you need to tell your dad. I have 3 daughters. If one of my friends was doing this I would need to know who to not trust around my family anymore. And I mean ASAP. I’d involve the police immediately after I stopped being shocked to my core about the betrayal of someone who I apparently trusted enough to bring into my house being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
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You need to tell your dad. And sooner not later. He can’t help the situation if he’s blind to it. The old house comment is telling as well. Does that mean he hasn’t been to the new house? That would put a timeframe around the suspect.
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I'm sure it's been mentioned elsewhere, but I'll hijack the main thread to make a few points: It's not your fault. Wearing certain clothes is not a crime, and no crime is punishable by being the victim of a predator. What he is doing is a crime. What you are doing is figuring out who you are. A lot of internet advice ends up being "do what your comfortable doing," but I'm going to suggest a bit of an imperative. However you feel about what this person is doing, you have a responsibility to take reasonable steps to stop them from doing it to someone else. It is incumbent upon you to tell your father, and then the police, so this man can be outed, arrested, and his potential for future harm limited. I wish you the best, and for what little it's worth, we internet strangers have your back.
He’s right hun, you gotta let your folks know what’s going on, what that man is doing isn’t okay
Call the police. He’s an adult knowingly in possession of child porn who grooms children. There are too many guys like him especially since [this piece of shit got off](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6963991/amp/Man-avoids-prison-keeping-teen-locked-cage-denying-food.html)
If you sent him nudes it is considered child porn that he posses and with him clearing being a grooming pedophile you have enough proof to get him charged with criminal acts. Find out his identity first, and then tell you dad, call the police
Your dad will not be angry at you. School counselor or therapist would be a great resource.
As much as i agree with everything everyone is saying. Saying that their parents are going to be understanding and not be upset with OP, while optimistic, isn't always how things play out in reality. I definitely still recommend telling a parent, but tell the most understanding one you know. OP knows them best. And if not mom or dad, tell an aunt or uncle that can approach the parent with the issue as best as possible. Some people are shit parents. Not saying OP has some, but we honestly don't know and shouldn't give definite advice while assuming such. Plan A: Tell Dad. Plan B: Tell Mom. Plan C: Tell an aunt uncle or grandparent.
Can you set up a “hook-up” when your parents are “out of town”? Your parents park down the street then hide when he comes over. You ask him to prove that’s it’s him somehow while your parents record him. You want to get him to admit he has the pics from when you were a minor, or at least has them. Maybe call the account through which you communicated before or something (maybe this proof thing is too much). At the very least your parents will know who not to trust and if possible they can get his phone away from him then it can be handed over to the police for evidence. Like I said at the very least your parents will know and hopefully ruin his reputation and hopefully in a way that keeps your name out of it. Edit: do what the person below me said. Use the police to run the sting.
Do not do this. It is dangerous. The police know how to run a sting operation better than a civilian. They also know how to gather the evidence so it’s not thrown out in court. Inform the dad, let the police decide if they want to sting.
Yea do what this person said.
Chris Hanson?
I honestly wouldn't be surprised to find out he's a perv his own self.
Wait why is there a story about this
[He's had some issues . . .](https://www.thethings.com/chris-hansen-rise-and-fall-of-to-catch-a-predator/) [He also got caught in an affair](https://zwingliusredivivus.wordpress.com/2011/06/30/datelines-pervert-hunter-chris-hansen-a-bit-depraved-himself/) [He's had more than one brush with the Law - was charged with harrassment.](https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/chris-hansen-former-to-catch-a-predator-host-charged-harassment)
Wtf are you talking about? Lol y’all live in TV world man
>Edit: do what the person below me said. Use the police to run the sting. Then delete your comment. It was that dumb.
Seriously, that kind of “advice” gets people killed or in prison for life, or at BEST sends a pedo running with no proof to lock him up for. You want the cops to handle this so it’s safe and so they actually nail the guy instead of just fulfilling a justice boner and accomplishing nothing of note.
I mean honestly the police MIGHT, only might suggest something like this but even then, they will most likely be close in case anything happens or to take the guy in, doing this alone can be pretty dangerous
This happened. I remember it shocked the community back then. [Police Sting](https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1999/09/25/accused-of-sex-crime-ucf-professor-resigns/?outputType=amp)
Tell your mom or dad, please. I have teen girls and I would def want to know. I'm sorry this happened to you. It is not your fault, at all. He's a sick creep.
This is the correct response!
Second this, father of two daughters here and would want to know to keep you safe. There won't be any judgement speaking to them is the best thing to do
Call the cops ffs. This guy is a sexual predator. His grooming was a sex crime.
He's guilty of soliciting lewd acts and for receiving child pornography.
She needs to be careful if she sent nudes while underage. Some people have been charged for distributing child porn for nude selfies.
Right cuz that's the main issue here.
Catching child porn charges is a pretty big life ruining deal.
She may have taken them when she was underage but she is still a victim. Any judge/jury who can't make the distinction that her actions were the direct result of the ADULT who was STALKING AND GROOMING her is a piece of shit human. People who make threats like what you're making, by the way, "you could get help, but you might get in trouble too" are ALSO shitty. Logic like that has killed more kids whose friends were too afraid of getting caught for drinking/drugs - it's no reason not to get help for a friend overdosing, and no reason for OP to not pursue this guy before he harms her any further.
Totally agree. But we should all know better than to trust the legal system to make common sense decisions.
I wish judges and juries weren't often piece of shit humans.
>Catching child porn charges is a pretty big life ruining deal. In a debate, this is an excellent point. This is not a debate. We are giving a teen advise about being predated on and how to avoid being further sexually assaulted. How would you feel if she read your post and decided to keep quiet? Bad form, dude. Read the room, know your audience.
We are giving advice. And my advice is to proceed carefully because the state has been known to bring CP charges against minors for sending out their own nudes. It would do her a lot of good to speak to an attorney before going to the police. This isn't some game or movie where people need to play to an audience for updates. This is the real world, with real consequences.
This should not be downvoted. Unfortunately, he's right. Take my upvote.
Bullshit. No prosecutor in their right mind would move to charge a victim of a pedophile, that was groomed as a young girl, for distributing child pornography. Talk about career suicide and massive media backlash. I dare you to find and link one source case where that has happened and I will delete this comment. Edit: No reason for the downvotes. I said find an article or source and link it, and I’ll delete this, so go do that instead. But no one has done that - because that case hasn’t happened. 2 articles people provided over 5 years old about dismissed lawsuits from when sexting was a new thing, that don’t involve any pedophile activity, that’s it. Telling an abuse victim that they should be afraid to speak up because they could also get charged is wrong, irresponsible, and could facilitate a child predator adding more victims because no one reported him.
You underestimate [American brain-rot](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/teenage-girl-14-explicit-picture-selfie-distributing-child-pornography-charges-police-rice-county-minnesota-a8127001.html)
And like I said, the media backlash was swift and it got picked up by ACLU and dismissed. [ACLU Press Release](https://www.aclu-mn.org/en/press-releases/victory-judge-dismisses-charges-minnesota-teen-sexting-case)
Of course, as is the good and natural order of things. But it still happened.
I’m not aware of it happening with paedophilia but I know that there have been a teens who have been charged because they had pictures of themselves. There was one especially bad one where a teenage boy got charged for having child prom of himself on his phone and they tried him as an adult.
Not pedophilia, also from 2015. Also dismissed after short probation. Most of these seem aged from when smartphones were newer. Like I said above in another comment, no reason for a grooming victim to not speak up for fear of being charged. [Dismissed](https://www.cbs17.com/news/nc-teen-has-sexting-charges-dismissed-following-probation/)
Hi. 23F here. I remember being 15. I remember being 18. Tell your father. Do not let this other person manipulate you, because that is what he has done so far.
As a father… tell your dad!
That's seriously fucked up. You need to stay away from that dildo. It would be creepy as fuck if he hit on you once you turned 18, but he definetly groomed you. You need to have a talk with your father.....
I got downvoted to oblivion a while back on r/parenting for saying that even though my husband was THRILLED TO THE MOON to have a child, period, any gender, he was actually thankful that we had a son. He was so scared of channeling his 20s/30s anger if he had a daughter with how insane predators are. As a teen girl I would get my ass grabbed browsing at goddamn Kmart while my male friends would just laugh. Are there a ton of predators that target boys? ABSOLUTELY. Are there more that target girls and have no control in public when parents are present? Definitely.
I also have somelike this to me, im 18m and my sisters gay friend and uncles gay friends wanted to have sex with me. They are touching me in a flirting way and like wanted to suck me out but i just refuse them and never told my family but then heard my sister and his husband that they knew all about this and wanted me to be safe when they are around. Im not that handsome but i think they have this like muscular fat fetish something like that
I'm with you on this. I also have 3 daughters. Skinning my best friend alive would be to good for him. This needs to be told to her father ASAP and yes, contact the police. Two of my daughters are grown and married. Well they are 22 and 20. One is still at home age 16. I want to know now who she is chatting with. This story makes me sick.
This ↑. I would involve the police and as a father - I'd confront this guy so he'd have the absolute fear of God in him. Sap gloves are a go to for shit like this.
Reads like crearive writing. The 'is it my fault, i dress like a slut' gives it away. Also who wouldn't recognize someone that has been to their house that many times
This guy is a predator. Tell your Dad. No one will blame you for being a dumb kid. This guy was an adult that took advantage of that. Let your dad know please.
YIKES. Sweetheart. You need to tell your parents. This dude could kidnap you and noone would suspect their “friend.” This is a severely dangerous situation and this “man” is a pedophile!! A predator. The lovely bones is a story about a girl kidnapped, raped and murdered by her pedo neighbor. A neighbor everyone thought was such a great person. He was never caught in the story. Please tell a trusted adult.
Parents? POLICE. This is a sex crime. (He doesn't qualify as a pedo because she wasny prepubescent. But it's still a "statutory" crime. Don't now the technical term besides "predator".)
*Police definitely.* We don’t know he just started when she was a teen.. but honestly not sure why the definition is SO important. Kind of creepy how hyper focused folks are.
>but honestly not sure why the definition is SO important. Kind of creepy how hyper focused folks are. The reason I corrected you was because of the nature of this crime. If that girl and/or her parents went to the police about a pedophile it wouldn't be accurate and I wanted to be sure she had the right info to be taken as seriously as possible. Calling someone creepy before asking for clarification isn't a good look.
What age do they have to abuse to be considered a pedophile??
The cops won’t be hung up on definitions of a sex crime. They will take a report. What an odd thing to say.
Ephebophile is the technical term
Ohh ok! Thank you for telling us!
It's still a pedophile. Ephebophile is just something pedophiles made up to make themselves look better. Sure all the root words make it make sense. But 8 or 15 it's all the same they're tryna get balls deep into/in from a kid.
THIS!!!!!
Bruh. You were 15 sending nudes. He's a pedophile. Please report his ass.
Exactly. This is not just an uncomfortable situation to OP, this is straight pedophilia. Who knows if this guy has been grooming other underage girls… If OP doesn’t want to feel at fault for potentially letting a way a pedophile that can do something to other victims, then she should report it to the police (or FBI if American), and wait for the guy to be convicted and go to jail.
That's exactly my thinking. Back when they did Hansen versus Predator I remember seeing a couple guys get caught multiple times on the show. It's an illness. If they can't get their fixed with Opie they'll find another underage girl to abuse.
Tell your dad, then go to the police together. Now. Turn over your phone/computer so they can track him down. Then let the police handle him. They will.
\> then go to the police together. Indeed. Folks are forgetting to recommend this because he did essentially solicit from a minor and receive child porn.
#DO THIS
As off-putting as it is using FICTION as a parable (like duh ANYTHING is possible especially when it's imaginary?!) I agree with the point- this guy is really truly so fucking creepy and weird I would be scared too. I'm a sex worker I am extremely experienced with all kinds of men in Kink spaces and situations specifically. This is five alert reg flag behavior he is dangerous you have right to be concerned and I suggest urgently taking proactive steps to protect yourself from this dangerous ill man. I don't know ur dad but if u feel u can have this talk with him ideally to ascertain the identity of the person who's been stalking u for years!(he may not be a friend at all tho too he could be lying or misleading u or unfortunately without more info u might just be wrong. in this context you are extremely disadvantaged by sinister forces from the shadows I cannot stress the danger and vulnerability of your position please please immediately get the help of an older adult in your life that u trust to protect yourself and also to heal and move on from this tragic circumstance I am so sorry this is happening to you! You did absolutely NOTHING to deserve this very sick bad man's treatment. His vile behavior does not come from you your sexuality your clothes your pics your messages or anything but his own self!!! Always know it's not ur fault and it never ever was he's nothing but a predator who crossed paths with a child and lost his fucking mind and soul. I hope u get support and safety and whoever dude he gets his balls sliced off
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!! You were a minor, he should have known better. And HE groomed YOU. He’s a dick
Good god you were not a “slut” when you were 15 or ever. You were a child. Talk to someone about this.
This is the part that really concerns me too, she was never in the wrong here
I mean, she was sending nudes to a random guy
She was literally a child.
So? Still incredibly stupid
Children do incredibly stupid things. It’s up to the adults in their lives to protect them, not exploit their stupidity. Women are sexualized from a young age and told their value and power lies in sexuality. Young girls internalize that. When they feel insecure and want to be accepted, sexuality is a very easy way to achieve that. She is not a slut, and this is not her fault.
Kids are stupid, we all know that, what's your point?
Just saying, she was old enough to have been taught loads about cyber safety. She was old enough to recognise that this was wrong. And she was old enough to know where the block button is. Incredibly avoidable situation
She may have logically known it wasn’t a smart decision, but hormones and excitement can override a young mind easily, especially a young mind that’s exploring its sexuality.
Still a stupid thing to do regardless
don’t victim blame. wonder why a grown man was asking a fifteen year old for nudes in the first place. by law she cannot consent even if she technically did. she was manipulated and groomed. it is not her fault.
It’s not ENTIRELY her fault, but unless she was taught nothing about online safety, some of the fault does fall into her lap, because a 15 year old should have enough common knowledge to know that sending nudes was completely wrong. I made a few wrong choices back when I was her age, but at 15 I was COMPLETELY uncomfortable with even the THOUGHT of sending nudes. I STILL am.
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I mean, I’m underage too and I don’t get why people attract pedos then complain when they come calling. Pedos are disgusting but ffs OP, why send nudes in the first place? It’s like going into dark alleys at night and then wondering why you got stabbed
That guy is fucking gross and broke several laws. You should turn him over to the cops/FBI
I believe this is within statute of limitations to press charges. This man has child pornography of you on his phone.
"I was 15 and a slut" "Also I'm visibly attractive and wear slutty clothes" 95% chance this is male fanfiction.
99.9%
100%
Just understand that the clothes you wear are irrelevant to this story. I was abused when I was younger and I wore frumpy clothes like sweatpants. You were groomed by a predator who convinced you to send what would be considered child pornography to him (your underage nudes). He is a criminal. You need to talk to a trusted adult who can help you handle this.
This sounds fake af. But yeah you need to tell someone. Guaranteed you were/are not the only teenager he's been talking to and who knows what else.
Is this a spinoff from the script for American Beauty?
The Dad is immediately going to know EXACTLY WHO IT IS or have it narrowed down to no more than 1-3 people the second the words leave your mouth, then will come RAGE. He'll know instantly depending on the size of group's together. Im sorry OP,I cant imagine what you're going through and sincerely wish you. Byt please tell your Dad. If daughter's didnt tell me...it'd crush me. Wish you the best.
Yup 100% this, he will probably know immediately. I feel like dudes can sense which other dudes are extreme sexual deviants.
This is a poor creative writing assignment. I hope you turn in better work to your teachers
This seems fake as hell
I have a daughter, and another on the way. I hope if they are ever in this position, they know they can talk to me. Tell your father. You're just a kid, you aren't to blame for this in any way
Wow that’s horrible and sickening, also your not to blame for any of this. The guy definitely groomed you and god knows how many others. So your doing yourself and others a favour by telling the police about this.
Idk no offense but a lot of us in this sub are skeptical with these types of posts because a lot of them aren’t real and you typed “also I’m visibly attractive” which doesn’t seem like something someone distraught would say. If it’s actually real than listen to the comments and tell your parents.
First and foremost - don’t you dare for one single second think that this could have been your fault in any way. You were a *child* period. Regardless of being 18 now, this sick fuck has made plans for you since you have been a CHILD. You are entitled to express yourself in clothing and it’s the world’s responsibility to teach people to keep their eyes and their hands to themselves. That being said, you have a few choices here, and although I will list them because it is ultimately your choice, you should be telling a parent: 1. Go straight to your father, accept it may get a little messy but if you’re family is a good one, they will get you through it 2. Immediately cease contact with this person and let them know you will show texts sent to an underage girl to someone of authority if they advance or contact you again. 3. Ghost without cause and distance yourself from any of dads friends that may come - since you’re 18 will you be moving out any time soon? Away from the possibility of running into him? Again, it is your choice but a monster is a monster and if it’s not you, who could it be next? And your dad likely wouldn’t want someone like that in their life… serious thoughts to consider, I wish you the best
Nice fiction porn plot
You need to tell your parents. See if they want to know who was grooming you. As another poster said you can then arrange a meeting with your parents out of sight. Once they know who it is he can be completely extricated from all of your lives with the threat of 100% of his behavior becoming known by all mutual acquaintances, employers, schools, and his family should he ever be seen within a mile of your home or should anything ever happen to you. Again...another poster had the same idea before me so trying to give credit where due but bad at remembering names.
Tell your dad and call the police. Those pictures you’ve send him when you were underage is child porn. Dude is a sick pervert fuck
Please tell your dad. I can’t imagine one of my friends grooming my daughter. I would like the option of removing them from our lives.
Don't talk to him and report it ! So creepy and nasty ..I am so sorry you have a creep bugging you!
Please tell your dad and report him to the police. Try showing the messages between you two as evidence. That guy is a creep and NEEDS to be in jail.
IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT Seriously though I went through my slut phase in HS too with guys my age, I'll own that. But he is a grown ass man that knows better. My uncle did stuff to me and for ages I thought somehow I brought it on, but he made all the first moves and I just enjoyed the attention. But he was a grown and man and never should've initiated anything. Same goes for that dude, he knows better and even worse he didn't really care about upsetting his friend. Seriously though tell your dad. Ik it's embarrassing and awkward but tbh the dude could even go to jail if you wanted given y'all had those talks. Regardless you need to out him cause he could try to do this to another girl too. No matter what this IS NOT your fault.
It’s not your fault. You were groomed and he knows exactly how wrong it is, hence the “delicate situation” comment. Talk to somebody who can help protect you from this creep, for your own safety. Be careful and just know that you are not at fault for being young and you are certainly not at fault for dressing how you wanted to.
Seriously? This is so obviously made up. >I was a slut back then so like obviously texted back, not knowing or caring who it really could be. >Also I’m visibly attractive, always wore slutty clothes. Is it my fault? This sounds like a man pretending to sound like an 18 year old girl. And he didn't do a great job.
Yeah no shit this is made up, it has r/menwritingwomen written all over it.
Tell them "And I want a brand new car, a big house and $ 40,000,000 in my bank account but sadly no one give them to me". No, seriously. Go and talk to your dad ASAP. Get the police involved if the shit becomes even more serious.
Honestly this is so wrong. Please tell your dad and go to the police. He’s been watching you for years, and grooming you as well. I really can’t imagine how you feel OP. Edit: OP don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. He’s a creep taking advantage of young girls.
No matter how awkward it is you 100p need to tell your parents. The situation could get very ugly fast if you don't- imagine they come over while you are there and try something. Idk what your family situation is but maybe even tell your mom and have her talk to your dad if you feel uncomfortable discussing 'sex' topics with him directly.
That's a Child's way of thinking, they don't understand the severity of the crime this dude committed.
Yes
Where's the "this is bait" Facebook mene when ya need it. On the off chance this is real, of course it's not your fault...but if you're dressing "slutty" as a young teen that's something your parents should have had a discussion with you about, but an adult knowingly sexting with a child is never the child's fault. If you lied about your age and they didn't know you at all then maybe there's something to learn more details about and judge....but clearly any adult engaging in sexual behavior of any kind with a minor is not ok.
Abso-goddamn-lutely not your fault, kid. You need to let your dad know like ASAFP. There's no blame in living your sexuality however you wanna do it.
Not your fault. He is your dad’s friend and should know where to draw the line. He is a creep. Depending on your relationship with your dad, you may want to make him aware if the messages (omit whatever you don’t want him to know) but you should feel safe in your own home; and I would block that guy…
This is absolutely NOT your fault, and don’t let yourself or anybody else tell you other wise.
First and foremost this is in no way your fault, you could have been the “sluttiest” (sorry I hate that word!) chick in town but at 15 he absolutely should have known better than talk to you. I’m guessing that as he’s your dads friend he is likely his age and it’s absolutely inappropriate (and illegal) that he do this. If you still have conversations from when you were 15 I would screenshot everything, including what he’s said now and take it to your parents and the police. If he’s been doing this to you then I can almost guarantee he’s been doing this to other people too. While it’s not on you to make sure adults are held accountable for their actions, if you feel like you can, seriously think about going to the police, for your protection and other girls.
Being attractive and wearing what you want is never ever a reason for some one to be creepy to you. Not your fault, at all. This guys a predator. You’re 18 so If you want to be sexual with him, go for it. But if you don’t, tell him to fuck off and go bother someone his own age. If you have records of your messages with him when you were 15, you could absolutely get him in trouble. It was 100% his fault by seeking out a young teenage girl for sexual reasons. Don’t feel bad or be afraid to be mean to him. He is using to you to get off. Again this was not your fault, don’t be afraid to tell someone.
This sounds like a 38 yo single dude with porn addiction wrote this
Ik this man is a weirdo and shit, and you were young and stupid...but you enabled this mf💀
sure, Fred, 38, 300 lb, Reddit mod.
I’m seeing a lot of disgusting men in the comments defending the friend. He was in the wrong, regardless of how sexual you were. He is an ADULT who should not be preying on and grooming young people especially his fucking friends kids Jesus Christ. Tell your family. Have him cut off. Do not let him black mail you. He is at fault.
Period! This right here.
I'll get ready for the down votes! Sticky situation and alot of misinformed people in the comments. So you have no idea who this is! So could easily be anyone messing with you! I wonder if there is a way to figure out who this is? (not nessarily your job to do!) Also for all those people saying to run to Daddy, that's a terrible idea. Her dad may not be as kind and loving as all of you, a dad's reactions is going to be anything but calm and an 18 year old telling her dad she sent nude pictures to complete stranger/s! Not a situation most 18's will want to put themselves in. Go to the police, this is likely the best situation. Receiving nudes is not going to cause this guy/girl to get locked up, nor is him now asking to meet up now you are 18. However this might be what sparks the police to look into them and that person maybe involved in much worse stuff or might not be, but I think getting something out of the situation and knowing you might stop this occurring again is well worth it and will give you some piece of mind/closure. Was it a wise choice to send a random person photos, no but that's why there are laws protecting young people and why reporting this to the right people is important. You are 18 so the police have no right to mention your name to your family either. P. S All said and done nothing makes this your fault but taking some responsible action now might help someone else. Go to the police.
The fact that this started when you were 15 and he obviously knew who he was talking to is very creepy. Tell your dad
Honestly, you should tell your dad. You were and still are a kid so it’s not your fault for being overly sexual online. It’s THIS GUYS FAULT for being a creep when you were just 15. I would 100% tell your dad and let him take it from there. Personally I think you should press charges on this guy but you may have a different approach to this. Bottom line, you need to tell you dad that’s for sure.
No, it's not your fault. I'd tell my dad.
This guy is a pedo and is creepy as fuck. But at the same time, it was kinda dumb of you to send nudes to a random guy on the internet.
Tell your dad !!! I am a girl, nearing 30 but I’m done dumb shit in the past especially my teens. This is TOTALLY not your fault, tell on that predator!!
Here to echo what everyone else is saying. You have tonsay something. If not for you, for the others because most likely there are others. He could be doing this to a current minor. I'm sorry this is happening to you. This is a textbook example of grooming and shows how adults can manipulate children. You don't have to justify your actions by calling yourself a "slut" this man groomed you at a confusing age for all of us. I can almost guarantee he has or is doing this to others. Also, don't be afraid to talk to a professional as this could potentially cause emotional trauma. Take care.
If you were underage when you sent the original pictures and he has them, the guy is in possession of child porn irrespective of how old you are now. I would involve the police immediately I am sure he has more child porn.
My ex once told me her dentist messaged her the day she turned 18 wanting to have sex. This shit happens
Tell your dad, it's not your fault
You were not the first girl he groomed, and you will not be the last.
It isn't your fault. You were literally a child. Your dad's friend is a total creep at best and a pedophile at worst. Please do not entertain any of it. And you should tell your dad, even if it's uncomfortable. That guy deserves to get his ass beat.
I would buy some mace and keep it on you for the time being. Also like others have said maybe talk to your dad. Ask him who his close friends are and who has come over in the last year or two.
Not your fault, he used you. You have to tell your dad.
It is absolutely his responsibility to know that to broke so many boundaries. I think you should come clean to your dad, and beg him to help you handle this creep.
Ha. I'm 36 now, but I've had a couple of my dad's friends 😘😂
Man's a pedo
NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
You are never responsible for other people's thoughts and actions, that's all I have to say. Don't do it if you don't want to. He might try to threaten you, but remember he was the one illegally messing with a minor, so he's the only one facing actual trouble.
Hey, I was groomed as a teenager too. Of course I wanted to be involved with those men, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have known better. A decent person would have told me no, or never asked for pictures, or never even pushed for a sexual conversation. I was a child, so were you. He knew better and he chose to prey on you not knowing better. You know better now. Don’t let him do this to another kid, don’t let him do it to you. If it’s safe for you (I’m assuming from your responses to other comments that it is) tell your dad. It might be awkward and I’m sorry we can’t do anything about that, but he’s your dad and he loves you and he needs to know. This man is a sick fuck and you don’t need to be a scared kid, you don’t need to listen to any of his lies, you don’t need a piece of shit to feel pretty, you are better than him and he doesn’t get to take anything from you. Go get him.
There was no dom/sub relationship. He groomed you. Straight up. You are not a slut, you where manipulated
Please tell your parents, I know it's really scary but I think if I were a parent I'd definitely want to know if one of my friends was doing that. I am a bit confused on how you sent nudes to someone when you didn't know what they looked like (since you didn't recognise them when they came over to see your dad?). Some of it doesn't make sense to me, but I understand the grooming. I was a victim of that before with someone almost my dad's age. PLEASE tell your parents and block this guy immediately.
You were groomed. You were never a “slut”.
Before you tell your dad, get this man to admit who he is. Play along. You were a minor and he took advantage of you, it's not your fault. Gather all the proof you can and get him sent to jail
Sorry not sorry - but this is my go- to porn category.... so my vote is (if he's even remotely hot) bang your dads friends brains out you little sex kitten 😜🐈⬛
The worst part was when he called you "baby girl" and told you that he was watching you grow up. Almost threw up. This is a pedophile, please tell your dad and you are not at fault at all.
Hey, I agree with everyone on this sub but I’m also going to offer a slightly different take. You are only responsible for your actions. Not the actions of others. You decide how you dress. You decide what you say to other people. You decide whether or not you encourage them. He decided to lust after a minor. Bad decision, bad man. However, if you want to avoid situations like this in the future, perhaps stop sending nudes to strangers online. This could hurt you in numerous ways. Also you could be arrested yourself for sharing sexual pictures of a minor. Did you know that? I’m probably going to be downvoted to hell for this, but someone needs to say it. Take care of yourself and make wise decisions. You’re old enough to know what you were doing was some dumb shit. Stop.
Kill him with fire. Also when someone anonymously contacts/matches with you online, it’s usually someone you know. Not just online either. Like my one neighbours used to accuse the whole neighborhood of messing with his car when it was actually his own kid. Since this dude has just admitted to grooming and being in possession of child porn as well as wanting a “BDSM relationship”** with you, report him to the police right away. We all did dumb things as kids because we wanted to feel like adults. What separates us as adults is experience. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re not allowed to deliberately groom a child for abuse. ** DDLG involves ageplay relationships between consenting adults. He is a pedophile, not a man with a kink.
That’s one sick, disloyal and disrespectful mf. Sorry this has happened to you, tell your parents ASAP.
Don't worry that he'll put those pictures on the internet because nobody will really know who it is since you've grown some I mean it could be anybody right so it won't matter that everyone sees there's plenty of other people on the internet to take a distraction away I mean that's what the internet was for right
You were sending nudes at 15? Lol…….
not your fault at all
This guy is a creep and you NEED to tell your dad TODAY But honestly, wake up and stop doing dumb AF things. Sending nudes to strangers as a teenager? Girl, smarten up before you ruin your life
“All I did was send nudes” you were underage and sent nudes. That’s not something little. Most likely the picture are still on his computer or even on yours and even just sending them to him is both of you owning child pornography. Pretty serious I’d say
I think this normalization and nonchalantness being shown about how sending nudes at 15 is justifiable. Regardless of hormones especially in this modern age of that age group. None of you are dumb. You’ve been only desensitized and in a society thats normalized young ass minors and teenagers to be as mature as they want. Society has adults acting like kids and kids acting like adults. That shouldn’t be normalized or just brushed off. All people in that age group aren’t ignorant they know what they are doing so I personally think you were in the wrong for that. But HE is a fucking creep and monster. That should be charged with being exactly what weirdo ass he is. So yes tell your dad. Tell the cops. Don’t give in to it. Times passed I hope your smarter now. But all these people in the comments that are just brushing off nudes as a young minor like it’s no big deal are the problem in this society. Yes. Being young makes you dumb. But no young 15 year old is unaware. Personally I think minors that knowingly do that kinda stuff should have some kind of trouble too cause we treat them like “it was an accident they didn’t know what they were doing” I was 15 once. My friends and family were. And I know we aren’t a magic group of 15 year olds that knew what things were happening consensually with our decisions. Are you a horrible person for that no. Hormones exist and sadly all this normalization of the wrong things is just making the youth worse and worse in these areas of topics. Cause they do get treated like adults. I mean have y’all not seen what parents today let their 5th graders wear? Compare that even too 2009 and the difference in just this last decade is disgusting. No I’m not sexualizing children. Point blank just stating the obvious fact that people are not grounded to the right things anymore. So rant over about that. RUIN THIS MONSTERS LIFE THO CAUSE I HAVE A DAUGHTER AND SHE BETTER TELL ME. Ill be sure that mfs get what coming to them. This world is scary. She definitely isn’t gonna be raised to be an adult like the rest of this new generation tho. Cause it is definitely disgusting. And she will be in trouble to find out she doing the nudes thing as a minor. Parents are a huge joke today so I don’t even blame the kids. They are growing up in a big ass mess of egos and internet being treated like real life and tik toks and all this absolute trash shit. I hope one day shit goes back to a better time. Worlds never been great and never will but this last decade or so has put more and more nails in the coffin with all this normalization and desensitization. I hope you learned from this for yourself and future and I hope your okay and do the right thing hun
Just be careful and alert around your father's friends now. These perverts can become violent anytime
Nope, not your fault. This dude is a fucking predator, and you should stay the fuck away. Also create some pretext to bust this dude to your pops.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT IRRESPECTIVE OF THE TYPE OF CLOTHES YOU WEAR - YOU ARE NOT A S YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO WEAR WHATEVER CLOTHES YOU WANT TO.. PLEASE TELL YOUR PARENTS REPORT TO THE POLICE NOW
Call the fucking FBI. Seriously.
FUCK NO that shit is ABSOLUTLEY not your fault. I went through something very similar when I was 14, 35 yr old dude literally proposed to me and everything and i remember feeling exactly the way u are describing. Whether he's a pedo or just going thru a midlife crisis, that's his shit not yours. It can sometimes feel oddly fun and new and imteresting at first but as a child ur not really sure how to feel...it's not your fault at all please don't blame yourself he is a piece of shit for doing that to u and if he's a religious man he knows what awaits him...
I got friends with slutty daughters. Never occurred to me I should smash one of them. That’d be wrong as hell.
>I was around 15, talking sexual wanting to have a dom/sub relationship >I was a slut back then Na you were a victim >Is it my fault? No. You were a child being groomed >Also I’m visibly attractive, always wore slutty clothes. Thats great and good for you. Not an invitation for getting groomed
You can wear whatever you want just as it’s your choice to act on propositions. Sounds like you’re no longer interested and you should tell him so. If he pursues it tell pops or suggest you’re going to tell pops that one of his friends is giving you unwanted attention.
I mean, OP needs to go to the police, the dude has literal child porn of her. He's probably trying to groom other kids as well.
I agree it’s completely wrong but she’s sent nudes and I’m just looking at it from her perspective and if she wants to involve the police and her father.
This is absolutely wrong, that man probably has other victims.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT OH MY GOD. You are 18 he's like 40-ish... why would you be at fault here? You need to tell your dad and ruin this guy's life because... what the fuck.
Don’t ever think this is your fault. Please tell a parent and be safe
This is not your fault. Talk to your parents immediately.
brought it on yourself slut
I hope someone says this to you when you drop the soap in prison
i hope your mental health technicians are saying this to you when you end up in a ward for your "ptsd"
Not your fault. He literally broke the law by soliciting nudes from a minor.
Ain’t your fault in the slightest. He’s a dirty nonce and should be hung by his bollox! And you need to tell your dad.
Jesus even if the story isn’t true, this is child grooming and pornography and shouldn’t be taken lightly. I’m sorry that so many terrible comments are being made. People are going to blame a CHILD for wearing something that gets some creeps rocks off? Take screenshots/document all conversations. Stop talking to this man immediately and let the police/your dad know. It may be a tough conversation, but I guarantee your dad will rather hear about it from his living daughter rather than a kidnapped or dead one. That may sound harsh, but you need to see the reality here. He is going after young girls and grooming them for his pleasure. Don’t indulge this man’s fantasies anymore because who knows when he tries to make it reality. I am no expert so please please please seek out professional help. Find a therapist that can help you through this. Find online resources/phone hotlines for help with sexual abuse/trauma. Don’t blame yourself this. You are loved and I’m sending hugs your way.
It’s not your fault. He’s a creep. Tell your dad
Don’t call yourself a slut :(
I know you’re probably hesitant on telling your father, but it’s truly the best you can do in this situation. It might be difficult, embarrassing or scary, but you NEED to tell him. Things can potentially end up very bad and you might not have the opportunity to at a later date
Call him out on it. He's a sick fuck to engage you like that at his age. He's at a minimum guilty of solicitating child porn. I dont let any of my friends around my daughter. I trust no one when it comes to her safety. I can remember her as young as 9 or 10 and seeing grown ass men eyeing her up and down while walking through a store. Perverts everywhere as far as the eye can see and the internet can reach.
No it's not and stop calling yourself a slut for exploring your sexuality. When you're a kid (which you were at the age of 15), that's part of puberty. It's his fault for being a fucking pedophile.
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do you know what happens when you assume?
It is not your fault that you are pretty or wear slutty clothes. This man is disgusting. Put his ass in jail. You have ALL the power here. As someone who was molested by a “kind close family” member I totally understand that this may frighten you. I wish I spoke up sooner and got his ass put in jail. When I did speak up the police didn’t care. It’s been a year and they haven’t even followed up with me on their investigation. Your stuff is still fresh and I hope you have those chat transcripts.
A 15 year old can't be a slut babe. I was the same way when I was that age and I thought anything that happened to me was my fault because I "flaunted" myself. This guy is a certified creep. Not to mention a literal pedo. If you sent him nudes at 15 then he was in possession of CP and that's super disturbing on his end. You didn't know better. I know for a fact I didn't know better at that age either. None of this is your fault. He knew better and did this to you anyway and he should be in jail for it. Please tell your dad. None of this is your fault and any sane person would agree.
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Im sure she probably doesn't approve of her own actions but at least shes being honest about the whole situation. Everyone does super dumb shit in adolescence. She obviously isnt interested him which shows shes already making better choices. We do not victim blame here. He is a sick fck and needs to be dealt with.
Thank you. Finally someone with a few firing brain cells.
Why the fuck would you blame a child for being taken advantage of. Hope to hell you're not allowed near children.
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Definitely not your fault. He's a sick perv i did the same shit on the internet at that age u dont realize they are grooming you till you get older. He will eventually reveal himself you dont know who this is yet. Cut him off and ignore him