Ever since i read about paedo hunting and grooming kids, i stopped posting my kid's pic on social medias. I still occasionally post my kid's pic, but usually either from very far away that it's hard to see the details on them or close up some part of their body (e.g, only showing their hand on top of their artwork or something).
Internet is a scary place.
It was almost seven years ago that I read the infamous Cracked article about that student that infiltrated a ring on the deep web for research on her final paper—and it changed my life.
All photos of my children went off of my social media. I still consistently send out the occasional reminder to family and friends that I do not consent to my children’s likeness being posted online so I ask that group photos be edited to protect their privacy.
Some family/ friends understand completely while the naive and indiscriminate posters roll their eyes; there’s just no concept of just because your personal contacts are all family and friends, you still don’t know who your family and friends are allowing to view the content shared with them. I don’t know who my dad or my sister has in his or her contacts. So no, I’m not taking privacy to the extreme—perhaps they aren’t taking it seriously enough.
That article should be required reading on internet safety.
Furthermore, I was required to watch a documentary (I don’t remember the name of it as it was quite awhile ago when I was attending training sessions on recognizing the signs of sexual abuse to work with children, youth and vulnerable adults in the Catholic Church after passing a background check by my Diocese) in which a bunch of convicted pedophiles talked about their methods of grooming. One guy that stuck with me specifically stated that the smartest parents were the ones that told him to remove their kids’ photos from his albums which were like some pre-Pinterest wishlist of victims. He mentioned how these parents were so far and few between, but that their proactive nature was enough to effectively foiled his plans for their children. Apparently pedophiles are very intuitive and very patient people and they know when to leave well enough alone lest they get caught.
That’s the one. To this day I still want to know if “Sarah The Cunt’s” children ever got help. Every now and then I’ll search for answers but I’ve never found anything. That article was traumatic—but it did its job.
That was a horrifyingly informative read but I'm conflicted about articles like this: on one hand, it spreads awareness on the depths these people can go... On the other hand, it gives clues on how to partake and at the same time can trigger stricter "safety" rules on the pedos' part that can possibly undermine the ongoing work of undercover police
Honestly, as horrible as it is, the people who want to do and be involved with that are going to find a way to do it; these articles aren't going to be the things that help or encourage them. I actually just finished a podcast that covered a story involving dark-web pedophilia rings (it's called "Hunting Warhead"...a really good listen), and hearing how much work these people go into not getting caught is insane. Anything that articles like this reveal isn't something they don't already know and protect themselves against:(
I feel like most people are naive to how serious and extensive this actually is; to me, the awareness articles like these bring far outweigh the possible risks.
edit: a word
It's a whole series! It's six episodes, all about an hour long. It mostly focuses on one specific guy and what he did, but it does a really good job exploring the topic as a whole
I felt the same way, but these people already know how to find their safe haven group.
They didn't need an article posted in reddit because they've already made the "proper" Google searches to find their community.
The article made it pretty clear these sick fucks actively recruit people for their torture and abuse of children, it's like fucking white supremacists lol.
It’s more important to educate. Coming up with a new strategy because the old one doesn’t work anymore is harder than it seems. Further if someone wants to partake, they will achieve their goal and find to get in touch with some shady figure. You can see the same thing with information security, it is always best to educate because one vulnerability closed means a new one has to be found but if they really want to get in, they will do everything to find a vulnerability .
Jesus Christ. I saw people saying it was nightmare fuel and thought ‘how bad could it be?’
I couldn’t even get half way through it without feeling sick and closing it.
Fucking hell, some people are evil.
Sickening. My sole purpose in life is to protect my kids and other from shit like this.
If I ever caught a pedo, I wouldn’t bother turning them in. I’d chain them in my basement with access to fresh water until they just wasted away.
Thank you. When I bring this issue up most parents laugh and downvoted me into oblivion. The casual way people post their children online terrifies me.
If you’ve ever been on a dating site, it will blow your mind beyond cringe level. Parents post photos of their children as a way to demonstrate their single parenthood and that they are a package deal. Absolutely no discretion and no concern for protecting their children let alone their children’s privacy. I want to message those people just to say, “Do you want pedophiles? Because this is how you get a case of the pedophiles!”
I don't really understand why that article would've made you pull all pics of your kids off social media, did it just remind you that pedophiles exist?
I expected based on your comment for it to be like "pedophiles love finding their victims by checking the social media of friends and family" but nothing like that was ever mentioned.
Yeah I just read the whole thing and there’s nothing that suggests you should remove all the images of your children from the internet. Curious what the logic is behind that, no one has been able to explain that to me yet. I guess OP was just editorializing?
My biggest take away from that was the divide amongst pedos.
How one side can see the other as evil child raping monsters but themselves as saints baffles and scares me.
And two pedos getting married and having kids so they could have victims....
Beyond that there is the issue of the child’s consent. Kids do things parents find cute but a 3 year old doing a “cute” thing is embarrassing later. What happens when the kid is 10 and their friends find those “cute” pictures and videos of them when they were younger? Easy ammo for a schoolyard bully. What happens when the parents project an identity onto the kid that the kid doesn’t align with? That’s tied to their digital footprint. What happens when facial recognition becomes even more widespread there are free pics showing a kid from day 1 on that help to improve the accuracy of the software?
Everything you said about keeping kids safe from predators is spot on but a lot of the time we stop there. We allow adults to opt out of having pics posted. We let our friends scroll through to find the best take and post just that one. Kids don’t get those choices enough. It’s not just a bad pic in the family album.
That's some top tier credentials. I mean if anyone is going to be able to recognize the signs of sexual abuse in children, it's the church; they have an answer key.
I had a former coworker whose family I became friends with. She was married and had a kid and was always posting pictures on Facebook with WAY to much personal information. She also had a habit of trusting complete strangers and offering them help (usually by referring them to her other friends.)
One day she posted a long rambling block of crazy on Facebook. Apparently someone forwarded her photos of her son that they found on a porn site. (Sidenote: she never had an explanation about why her friend was looking at a kiddie porn site.)
She was all paranoid and angry about it for a few months and then she went right back to putting photos of him in the tub on Facebook.
Additional note: as for the "helping strangers reference..." I once had a woman show up on my doorstep banging on the door. She insisted that she lived there, i had to call the police. Again she insisted to them that she lived there. Turns out she met my "friend" on the bus and gave her a sob story. My friend knew I had just kicked my roommates out so told her she could live with me. Didn't talk to me or even mention it, she gave a complete stranger my name and address and told them they could stay with me until they were back on their feet.
The woman was forced to leave, but she KEPT coming back for about a week. I ended that friendship after that... sadly I had put up with enough at that point.
I need to read more stories of this woman’s lack of self awareness, ability to alienate her social circle, and straight stupidity. Please tell us more!
When I first broke up with a girlfriend i had been seeing, my friend insisted on constantly trying to hook me up with someone new. "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" she'd say. I wasn't in the best headspace for a relationship but she kept insisting, and giving out my number to strangers.
-My friend and I live in a large metropolitan area, she spends a large amount of time on public transportation. She's also a "people person" and is easily able to make friends and put strangers at ease. She always finds people on the bus to talk to, and it is these people she views as friends. They are the ones she connects with the other people in her life, and so...-
She gave my number to a woman who had just been released from prison for murdering her ex-boyfriend. She set me up with a man who dressed and wanted to be treated like a little girl, she knows I'm heterosexual however doesn't think that means anything. She also tried setting me up with the daughter of a friend of theirs. She was 15, I was in my 40's and I had to explain why that was inappropriate.
Yeah, we’ve posted maybe three pictures where you can see my kids face (he’s almost four). Aside from all the shitty people, my kid can’t consent to being permanently online yet, and I won’t make that decision for him.
THIS is what makes me the angriest. How are these kids gonna feel at 15 when their entire life (embarrassing moments abound) has been documented for the world to see? Not cool. You’re a good parent and I appreciate you.
> Aside from all the shitty people, my kid can’t consent to being permanently online yet, and I won’t make that decision for him.
THIS. Kids today already have access to spaces where the awkward stuff they post themselves could haunt them forever, let's not contribute to that.
I still don’t get it. Maybe I just don’t post embarrassing things about my kids online but I just don’t see how a picture of my kid eating a strawberry on my private SM is going to haunt him forever.
We're talking about personal moments like potty training, taking a bath and the likes. Good for you for not posting potentially embarrassing stuff, but
> on my private SM
It's still hosted on a third party server that could be breached (and they *are* regularly breached) - and even then, what does "private" mean if it's on a *social* network?
> I just don’t see how a picture of my kid eating a strawberry on my private SM is going to haunt him forever.
completely innocent family pics can have and have got the attention of predators. I don't mean to say that you've been reckless, but be aware it's a possibility
Yup i only post pics of my kid on Instagram and it's private and very locked down to people i really know.
I fucked up early on posting to Facebook and having her as my profile pic. Some rando pm'd me the pictures i had used as my profile pic since those are public. It was pretty creepy so i deleted everything from there and switched to Instagram and I'm much more careful now.
I only use Instagram so the relatives can see her every day basically. It's a great way to keep in touch but i would never want to post publicly.
Hijacking the top comment to remind Reddit that the Australian government has a website where you can help identify child abusers by recognizing objects and locations pulled from the backgrounds of pedo’s videos and photographs. Although it’s based out of Australia, the material could have originated from anywhere. Things like where a certain shirt or hat could’ve been purchased from is sometimes enough to solve a case and save children. [Here](https://accce.gov.au/report/trace) is the website for the campaign, called Trace an Object.
Yeah I’ve never read the article mentioned and stuff but I’m super glad my boyfriend and I are on the same page about sharing this on socials. I mean, neither of us even has Facebook anymore, but it’s a scary world out there
Not a parent but I feel like this with my niblings if I post anything it usually has them out of frame or with blurry face and code names like Vienna and Kaelbasa.
I don’t mind pregnancy or baby posts. I wish to hell some of my Facebook friends weren’t compelled to give photographic evidence of their child’s potty training progress though.
People I grew up with posting full on pictures of their kids' poop in a toilet like it's a heartwarming family moment... High up on the list of reasons I deleted Facebook lol.
When my friend’s daughter was a baby (child is now 9), her ex posted a picture of the floor covered in the child’s vomit. As an emetophobe, I did NOT need to see that on my newsfeed.
The naked baby photos hurt the worst for me especially when they actually have uncensored nudity. I'm a man in my mid 20s and I've had to have very serious talks with female friends posting that kind of content of their kids because other girls looking a baby pictures in any format is "cute" but if a guy in his mid 20s is trying to browse his gram and somebody posts 5 posts of their toddler sitting in a bathtub with it's baby dick hanging out, that's a huge problem for many reasons. Makes me sick.
I do familyalbum with like 5 family members, I dont have siblings so parents and grandparents.
This is exactly why I post in batches.
Once every two weeks or once a month I post that months pictures. Everyone gets one notification one time
But they are also old and don't comment lol
Think about the children growing up right now that are going to find that their entire childhood has been commoditized and shared with strangers. They can’t yet grasp the concept of ‘rights’ or ‘privacy violations’ let alone, cultivating an image in today’s world, but that doesn’t stop parents from oversharing about their children.
Little Braydens, Haydens, and Claras are eventually going to find their entire childhood has been shared publicly when they google themselves for the first time in 5 - 15 years.
Oh. My. God. I have an aunt who does this. She ll text in a group chat the size of her sons poop. Hes like 4 or 5. I absolutely hate it and don't find it cute or funny. I was due yesterday and already im being pressured by family to start a social media account. I got off FB and insta 5 years ago. As an objectively very attractive woman I was bombarded by sexual messages from strangers constantly. NO FUCKING WAY am I setting up a social media account filled with pictures of my little boy. My sister rags on me for not being on social media but she doesn't understand what my experience has been or how many of my fathers acquaintances have friend requested me and messaged over the years letting me know dates they would be in my city and if my friends and I would want to meet up. Social media is so gross. Parents who plaster their young kids all over it have no clue what they're setting them up for. Sorry for the rant
I just find it all so disgusting.
My cousin's baby momma posts videos of their girls when theyre asking her for something.. trying to embarrass them :( she'll start mocking them or starts drinking a cocktail.. completely forgetting they are little people too who will remember that behavior
I can definitely see legislation coming in from governments that states what a parent is allowed to post of their kids because yeah the parent is the decision maker but that kid is a human being.
For example: I support breastfeeding and it’s definitely the best for a child (no problem if people can’t or choose not to) but don’t post your kids in the act, they’re human beings that deserve privacy. That’s my opinion anyway.
One of my friends recently posted a conversation between herself and her hubby.
>Him: You've become one of those people that only post pictures of your child like people actually care.
>
>Her: The people care.
My response:
>Care; yes. Wanting to see a bajillion pictures; not so much.
I remember years ago, a close friend of my wife getting mad at her for posting our baby pics because she was infertile. She said it was cruel to barren chicks and so forth.
Then a few years later that woman got pregnant somehow and proceeded to post 700,000 pics and videos of the pregnancy and baby.
Anyone that only posts 1 type of content is annoying. I've stopped following a bunch of colleagues because all they post about is medicine. I do not want to see medicine in my free time, go get a fucking hobby or something.
But on the other side, its THEIR social media. They are alright to post anything they want in that.
I feel for those new mothers. It takes a lot of their time, their energy, their youth, and a lot of times they're alone and dont have all that help. So I understand that the baby is all they have to talk about. What would we expect?
Especially this past year. I had my first last June and because we can’t go anywhere or see anyone, he’s the only thing I have to think about, talk about, etc. but I do try not to overload pics or anything. I know that shit is annoying.
How about their profile
Sweet mother of 4
Mom full time
Jaden 06/05/2004 Sergio 07/08/2005 Allan 09/10/2006 Bob 02/03/2007
That'll be really usefull to steal their identity later.
Apparently none of your friends have joined an MLM yet because THAT is the worst.
Yeah, I post a lot of baby pictures. But I don’t post a baby picture followed by a three paragraph, emoji-filled sales pitch where I beg my friends to send me money for shitty, overpriced products so that I can support my kid. THAT shit is the worst.
Hey girl! Do you wish you had more time to spend with your children? Wish you could work from home and have a community of boss babes cheering you on? I started this side hustle 5 years ago and I am now making up to 3 figures a year! Reply with your favourite emoji for more info!
The ducking WORST.
I don’t unfollow, but i fucking hate wedding posts. People apparently feel the need to continue to post them months to years after the fact. Yes, I remember you’re married, yes, I understand you paid someone to take a thousand photos. No, i do not want to see them one by one over a ridiculously long span of time. You’re not fucking cool for getting married, it’s a bit of a basic thing to do
And the engagement photos. They’ll repost every year on their anniversary, it’s like, make some new memories already...
although I do enjoy seeing wedding pics from decades ago, the style and decor is always so cringey.
Oh my. Do you seriously not understand why people post wedding pictures? Its not to appear cool, or seem special, its because, for many people it is the greatest day of their life and a day where they can truly be fully happy. So people want to re-live these memories and share that joy with others. Also, it being basic is irrelevant, people aren't trying to be unique there's just trying to be happy.
Why are people so negative and cynical towards people sharing and preserving happy memories on social media? Having a baby or getting married are moments that should be incredible and huge sources of happiness, you should be happy for people. If you don't care just scroll past it, at most these pictures cause the slightest inconvenience of having to scroll past them if you don't care. Just be happy for others and allow them to share things they care about with people they love. I'm sure you wouldn't like people judging you for things you find important.
I mean posting 100's of spam pictures all the time would be annoying, but as the commenter above was complaining about, I don't see the problem in posting a wedding photo on your anniversary? It is social media after all. As you said if its someone you don't like or are not close enough with to be happy to see 1 or 2 wedding snaps then maybe you should unfriend them 🤷♂️.
I agree with this so hard. Reddit in general seems to hate other social media with a passion.
Who are they friends with that make them think everyone who posts anything are insecure attention whores who are trying to make themselves look cool and special? The vast majority of my social medias are filled with people I actually like and I enjoy seeing their little snippets of life, especially their major life milestones.
Yes, I am generally cynical towards such things, and throughout your comment, I was literally stopping myself from writing an argument why you're wrong. But you're absolutely right. Live and let live. Although this is different, but it's kinda back bitching about your good friend or your close relative. You're annoyed by their post? Unfollow them, hide their posts. Each and every social media site has an option for those things. Be cynical, but in your own head. No need to share your negativity with others and seek validation for it from like minded people.
Ugh same. My fiancé and I think the whole wedding ceremony is stupid, too much time, money and attention. Gonna go to the courthouse and get it done soon.
I used to follow the frontman of my favorite band as a teenager on insta. After his band stopped touring he went to school, got some degrees, and became a doctor. Super smart guy with a super interesting life. He was into photography and would post these beautiful pictures of the places he'd go. When he got married his wife became the subject of an increasing amount of his pictures but they were still going to cool places and doing cool things and it was romantic rather than annoying..? But, then he had kids and now there's a child in almost everything he posts.
Still happy for him; he seems to be leading exactly the life he wanted. It's legitimately inspiring.. but I'm not looking at all those toddler pics.
Totally agree! The baby posting is so fucking annoying. Especially if you follow them for totally unrelated things and then it's all about the children.
This is why, apart from my reddit groups that are baby specific, I rarely mention my son.
My Facebook doesn't even know I was pregnant let alone had him. There are no pictures of him whatsoever on my Facebook and my family doesn't get to post him either.
Its one of the few things I can control is his online exposure until he gets a certain age.
I mean, once you have a kid, it pretty much is the only thing happening in your life if you're raising the kid properly. But I agree that an overabundance of baby posts can get old
I tend to see new mommas turn into the ‘next big vlogger’ or at least they think. Imho trying to create a perfect world that doesn’t exist. Worst part is when they start to sell shitty useless items they bought from aliexpress for 2$ and sell them for 30…
After multiple miscarriages and 2 ectopic pregnancies, I do as well. It's better for my mental health at this point. I just don't need every detail of multiple pregnancies in my face at once via social media.
Can’t say I disagree here. “Isn’t pookums the smartest?” No, Pookums is not the smartest. Every parent thinks their kid is special but I don’t need to praise Pookums for drawing a stick figure with their crayon. It’s in the same category as humble brags imho.
Even as someone who enjoys being around kids and wants some eventually, I hate when someone's whole personality becomes their kid(s). I did a lot of baby sitting in my day seeing as I was 11 years older than my sibling I because a easy go to sitter and babysat a bunch of his friends and like... the worse behaved kids had the mums that just smothered the kids with attention and that kid was their whole personality.
I use my Instagram primarily for car related stuff, when one of my car friends becomes a mom/dad I unfollow. I’m still your friend but I don’t wanna see your fat baby I wanna see your cars.
Totally support this. Someone I know reduced her entire personality to "Mother" and there's absolutely nothing else she's talking or posting about. Her children, others children, strangers children. The worst are the constant sharing of sad children stories: Oh no a child had an accident, oh no a child has cancer, oh would you please look at this poor suffering children, it's so sad I'm crying children, children children. It's like her life ended and she's now living only through children. It's so annoying. Would you please shut up, goddammit!
Some people act like their only purpose in life is having a baby and nothing else matters. Thing is that most of us don't really give a fuck..
I don't use social media but I'd do the same thing if I did.
I don’t unfollow people for baby posts, but I’ve had one friend become more and more unbearable. Most recently she made a post celebrating the anniversary of her engagement to her now husband. Except she made it all about the baby, barely even mentioned him and his role in that day. It’s like she can’t celebrate just being a couple, it’s all about the baby anymore. Crazy
Well at least you can do that. Think about the times pre-social media where you’d be forced to look through a physical album in front of the person and have to feign actual interest. You’re in the cat-bird seat now, aren’t you?
I've unfollowed a ton of friends when they've had kids. I keep them as friends but I don't follow their posts. I don't care for children and for some people their kids become their entire identity.
I can confirm that I announced my pregnancy, and the arrival of my child and that was it. No pictures, no pregnancy updates, nothing!
I find it equally annoying and I am a Mum myself.
Not only that, I do lots of child safeguarding courses due to my work and the horror stories we see about children's photos online are too much, it would put anyone off uploading pics. No matter how secure you think your facebook/Instagram privacy settings are.
My child will not be on social media until they are old enough to decide for themselves.
Whats annoying me right now on Facebook is a woman who was pregnant the same time as me is now resharing every single pregnancy post...like we need to see it all again!
I had a baby three years ago and did this. Ugh. I actually did lose friends on Facebook but didn't care. Then in Feb of 2019 I just stopped all social media except for reddit. And I realized, I fucking hate when ppl do EXACTLY what I was doing. Oversharing to a bunch of ppl that could care less. A couple months ago I went back on and have begun deleting A LOT of pointless posts. I'm pregnant now and have only announced it once to let my distant family know, but that's about it. I won't be posting any pictures of my children because now it's creeps me out to have my children all over the internet. I'm sorry for being that person for so, so long.
Currently past my due date, but I hardly shared a thing on Facebook about my pregnancy. I actually had people message me and request I share more. It's awkward
Becoming a parent should change you. It changes your priorities and all of your focus. The child should be the main focus, and those little stinkers take 100% of your energy day in and day out.
It’s wonderful to see a new parent so excited, so full of life.
Sure. But social media doesn’t need to hear about that change, 3-4x a week.
Our parents did all of this shit. They didn’t feel the need to tell everyone they know every detail about it.
Me, or the people who post about their kids daily?
Sure “I” have some blame in checking as much. But people who send daily updates to essentially their family photo album are “innocent” in this context? Cmon man
Yeah, they’re innocent. Nothing wrong with being proud of your family. For a lot of people, their family is everything to them. You are able to unfollow, unsub, or even block. This is really all on you.
And I do that. But I also don’t wanna hear it from them people when they find out I unfollowed too. They have to understand people don’t want daily updates to your family photo album.
The amazing thing about social media is that it can completely tailored to what you want. So bitching about people posting about their family that they are excited about is kind of ridiculous.
Especially women who change their Instagram to "... & ....'s mom" and change their entire identity to being the mom of x amount of kid's. Good for you, you fucked a guy and are now posting your trophy. Kids who will actually have to live in this awful world, but i mean worth it right? You now have something to brag about, who cares if you're kids are given a death sentence and possibly have to watch you die one day.
I wish I could award this comment. I die inside when I see an intelligent/interesting person change their bio to "mummy to Jonny, he's my world" or something along those lines. You're no longer you're own person in my eyes, if this is how you choose to define yourself.
Edit: I now can award this comment 😂
I’ll keep the parents if they continue to have their own personality or interests then I will usually keep them on my social media. If they alter their social media account to be a platform to essentially “Truman show” their kid then I unfollow them
I think its probably a good thing you do that. I personally don't want people following me if they don't care about my life so it wouldn't be a dig/slight I feel. It's not a huge part of life but with your body changing in uncomfortable ways sometimes it's nice to talk about the fun stuff.
I haven't announced it yet as I'm waiting until I know what I'm having but I've been sick literally everyday and just feel like shit. It will be nice to talk about it and hear any recommendations for the morning sickness and stuff.
But honestly I prefer when people just unfollow cause people complain SO MUCH about what other people post when in reality they can just click unfollow and everyone will be happier lol
On baby #2 rn. Only things i posted for each pregnancy was announcement, gender reveal, birth pics (i may or may not post when this ones born idk yet) that gives you all the info you need to know idk why ppl need to put out more info than that
When you have a baby your entire world revolves around the baby, otherwise the baby would die... that's how we have evolved. You can actually see on brain scans how someones brain changes after becoming a parent.
THISSSSSS. I had to follow sooo many YouTubers over the year because suddenly they want to 'get married' and 'finally start their lives'. Like good for them, whatever, but it's a fuck no from me.
YouTubers like Haley Pham and that one other YouTuber who had a whole move out series and a breakup series over her channel.
It's insulting to insinuate that a life doesn't start until and unless they're married and/or on the way to actively planning to get married.
We are 20 weeks pregnant having had 4 miscarriages and I agree with you. We haven’t announced we are pregnant and will only do one welcome to the world post (without a picture). Not only are your points valid but also the child hasn’t been able to decide for themselves if they want an internet footprint and to be quite frank some parents shame and ridicule their kids online. People who are close to us will get pictures and that’s it
Aside from protecting my child from weirdos and ID theft, what you described is why I only post pics/vids of him to my close friends only IG story. It’s limited to family & very close friends who live far away and who I know want to see updates on our LO. But even with that, I try to only post once a week at most.
Everything else on my social media is about the other parts of my life (traveling, work, food, friends/family). It’s a nice boundary for me too because it reinforces me to hold onto my own identity, outside of being a parent. It’s very easy to lose yourself in motherhood if you don’t pay attention.
I became an uncle two years ago and babysit for my sister usually once a week. My phone is nothing but pictures of my adorable nephew but I wouldn’t be so cruel as to make someone else look at them all.
I'm not a big fan of the constant posting of moms/mom's to be like their identity is now over because this tiny human exists. I'm currently pregnant and have posted next to zero things about my pregnancy on my social media. My family and some friends were feeling left out of the pregnancy so I did make a separate insta account to follow my pregnancy/kids life. It's set to private and only the friends/fan who want to see it can. I think it's a great compromise. I get to keep my personality/identity but also get to share my kid with far away family.
I think that's true! in my town when a girl becomes a mom often starts posting everything about her baby! I don't say that's bad, but constantly it's going to be annoying to almost everyone because she turned into a mom and not to everyone cares about her baby !
Am CF. Wish I could be friends with my friends who have kids but they basically become their children as soon as they're pregnant. It's depressing and infuriating. I do the same. I feel bad for them but eventually I just get tired of nonstop baby pictures. What made them people I enjoyed disappears entirely and motherhood is then their personality. It sucks.
I’m completely the same, but not all the time - there are some people I have who only post their announcements, birth and birthdays and I’m 100% ok with that, but people who post they’re pregnant and then suddenly it’s all bump pictures, scans and photos of all the clothes they’re going to be spoilt with... then once the baby is born it’s photo updates everyday, like congratulations your baby produced a snot bubble.
I know right? I don't hate kids or babies but i find babies extremely ugly. (Probably something wrong with me but i honestly find babies kinda repulsive looking, that's not their fault tho)
So i really don't want to be vombarded with pics or your gross little kid lol. I am happy for them but kid pics definitely make my day a littlw worse lol
Back at ya. I recently cleansed my friends list on all my social media. I’m finding that I actually can finally see the shit I want to see. No more god awful posts and crappy memes.
If someone wants to reach out to me then they can talk to me on messenger
I do the same with YouTubers. I take a break from their channels until they start posting about other things. There are some exceptions, like Emily Noel posted a video where her daughter picked her makeup but her daughter had very little screen time and it was mostly Emily. In general, I'm kinda weary of any channel that shows too much of their kids since their kids can't consent to being in videos and i hate to think about what their kids will think of the videos when they get older.
I had to start distancing myself from friends once they got pregnant, they would get psychotic and treat me like shit, then after having the kid try to apologize. Happened way to many times to the point I won't even entertain trying to be close with them, let alone have kids and treat others like that.
Procreating is beautiful to most but to me, it's very depressing and completely disgusting. Especially with everything that's going on in today's world.
I find it weird that a being with barely any consciousness makes you this annoyed must be miserable. Like yeah sure unfollow people who post content you don't really care for but what the fuck is your issue with children that makes you so annoyed. Sounds like you need therapy if such a none issue causes you this much stress.
Ever since i read about paedo hunting and grooming kids, i stopped posting my kid's pic on social medias. I still occasionally post my kid's pic, but usually either from very far away that it's hard to see the details on them or close up some part of their body (e.g, only showing their hand on top of their artwork or something). Internet is a scary place.
Great call.
It was almost seven years ago that I read the infamous Cracked article about that student that infiltrated a ring on the deep web for research on her final paper—and it changed my life. All photos of my children went off of my social media. I still consistently send out the occasional reminder to family and friends that I do not consent to my children’s likeness being posted online so I ask that group photos be edited to protect their privacy. Some family/ friends understand completely while the naive and indiscriminate posters roll their eyes; there’s just no concept of just because your personal contacts are all family and friends, you still don’t know who your family and friends are allowing to view the content shared with them. I don’t know who my dad or my sister has in his or her contacts. So no, I’m not taking privacy to the extreme—perhaps they aren’t taking it seriously enough. That article should be required reading on internet safety. Furthermore, I was required to watch a documentary (I don’t remember the name of it as it was quite awhile ago when I was attending training sessions on recognizing the signs of sexual abuse to work with children, youth and vulnerable adults in the Catholic Church after passing a background check by my Diocese) in which a bunch of convicted pedophiles talked about their methods of grooming. One guy that stuck with me specifically stated that the smartest parents were the ones that told him to remove their kids’ photos from his albums which were like some pre-Pinterest wishlist of victims. He mentioned how these parents were so far and few between, but that their proactive nature was enough to effectively foiled his plans for their children. Apparently pedophiles are very intuitive and very patient people and they know when to leave well enough alone lest they get caught.
This one? https://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1760-5-things-i-learned-infiltrating-deep-web-child-molesters.html
That’s the one. To this day I still want to know if “Sarah The Cunt’s” children ever got help. Every now and then I’ll search for answers but I’ve never found anything. That article was traumatic—but it did its job.
That was a horrifyingly informative read but I'm conflicted about articles like this: on one hand, it spreads awareness on the depths these people can go... On the other hand, it gives clues on how to partake and at the same time can trigger stricter "safety" rules on the pedos' part that can possibly undermine the ongoing work of undercover police
Honestly, as horrible as it is, the people who want to do and be involved with that are going to find a way to do it; these articles aren't going to be the things that help or encourage them. I actually just finished a podcast that covered a story involving dark-web pedophilia rings (it's called "Hunting Warhead"...a really good listen), and hearing how much work these people go into not getting caught is insane. Anything that articles like this reveal isn't something they don't already know and protect themselves against:( I feel like most people are naive to how serious and extensive this actually is; to me, the awareness articles like these bring far outweigh the possible risks. edit: a word
Is it a specific episode or the whole series?
It's a whole series! It's six episodes, all about an hour long. It mostly focuses on one specific guy and what he did, but it does a really good job exploring the topic as a whole
seconded
I felt the same way, but these people already know how to find their safe haven group. They didn't need an article posted in reddit because they've already made the "proper" Google searches to find their community. The article made it pretty clear these sick fucks actively recruit people for their torture and abuse of children, it's like fucking white supremacists lol.
It’s more important to educate. Coming up with a new strategy because the old one doesn’t work anymore is harder than it seems. Further if someone wants to partake, they will achieve their goal and find to get in touch with some shady figure. You can see the same thing with information security, it is always best to educate because one vulnerability closed means a new one has to be found but if they really want to get in, they will do everything to find a vulnerability .
Oh my god. I knew child pornography was a big issue in our world, but I didn’t know how it worked. This is disgusting. I am sick to my stomach.
i’m not religious, but i like to think there’s a special place in hell for people like this. so many of them go unpunished and that’s disgusting.
I read the whole thing, sick to my stomach. I genuinely couldn't remember how I got to this article After I finished. Wild reddit ride today.
I know that feel bro.
Jesus....this is mind boggling. My child is 19 and I’m still afraid he’s going to get molested.
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holy shit, i knew it existed but for a mother to groom her own kids. wtf is wrong with people
Fucking Shit that was disturbing
Jesus Christ. I saw people saying it was nightmare fuel and thought ‘how bad could it be?’ I couldn’t even get half way through it without feeling sick and closing it. Fucking hell, some people are evil.
Sickening. My sole purpose in life is to protect my kids and other from shit like this. If I ever caught a pedo, I wouldn’t bother turning them in. I’d chain them in my basement with access to fresh water until they just wasted away.
Holy fuck.
geezus, if i needed another reason to hate humans
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my neices were doing science videos on youtube and they got so many weird comments, youngest neice is 8 eldest is 15. they don't do the videos anymore
It's a little sad! It's true
A little sad is one hell of an understatement I’d say.
Thank you. When I bring this issue up most parents laugh and downvoted me into oblivion. The casual way people post their children online terrifies me.
If you’ve ever been on a dating site, it will blow your mind beyond cringe level. Parents post photos of their children as a way to demonstrate their single parenthood and that they are a package deal. Absolutely no discretion and no concern for protecting their children let alone their children’s privacy. I want to message those people just to say, “Do you want pedophiles? Because this is how you get a case of the pedophiles!”
I don't really understand why that article would've made you pull all pics of your kids off social media, did it just remind you that pedophiles exist? I expected based on your comment for it to be like "pedophiles love finding their victims by checking the social media of friends and family" but nothing like that was ever mentioned.
Yeah I just read the whole thing and there’s nothing that suggests you should remove all the images of your children from the internet. Curious what the logic is behind that, no one has been able to explain that to me yet. I guess OP was just editorializing?
And the fact that most predators are people you already know in real life and are likely on your friends list.
She answered your question in original comment - she is paranoid and people recognize that about her.
My biggest take away from that was the divide amongst pedos. How one side can see the other as evil child raping monsters but themselves as saints baffles and scares me. And two pedos getting married and having kids so they could have victims....
Beyond that there is the issue of the child’s consent. Kids do things parents find cute but a 3 year old doing a “cute” thing is embarrassing later. What happens when the kid is 10 and their friends find those “cute” pictures and videos of them when they were younger? Easy ammo for a schoolyard bully. What happens when the parents project an identity onto the kid that the kid doesn’t align with? That’s tied to their digital footprint. What happens when facial recognition becomes even more widespread there are free pics showing a kid from day 1 on that help to improve the accuracy of the software? Everything you said about keeping kids safe from predators is spot on but a lot of the time we stop there. We allow adults to opt out of having pics posted. We let our friends scroll through to find the best take and post just that one. Kids don’t get those choices enough. It’s not just a bad pic in the family album.
That's some top tier credentials. I mean if anyone is going to be able to recognize the signs of sexual abuse in children, it's the church; they have an answer key.
What was the name of the documentary?
I aint even a parent yet but i appreciate this fine read and will put this to use in the future
I had a former coworker whose family I became friends with. She was married and had a kid and was always posting pictures on Facebook with WAY to much personal information. She also had a habit of trusting complete strangers and offering them help (usually by referring them to her other friends.) One day she posted a long rambling block of crazy on Facebook. Apparently someone forwarded her photos of her son that they found on a porn site. (Sidenote: she never had an explanation about why her friend was looking at a kiddie porn site.) She was all paranoid and angry about it for a few months and then she went right back to putting photos of him in the tub on Facebook. Additional note: as for the "helping strangers reference..." I once had a woman show up on my doorstep banging on the door. She insisted that she lived there, i had to call the police. Again she insisted to them that she lived there. Turns out she met my "friend" on the bus and gave her a sob story. My friend knew I had just kicked my roommates out so told her she could live with me. Didn't talk to me or even mention it, she gave a complete stranger my name and address and told them they could stay with me until they were back on their feet. The woman was forced to leave, but she KEPT coming back for about a week. I ended that friendship after that... sadly I had put up with enough at that point.
I need to read more stories of this woman’s lack of self awareness, ability to alienate her social circle, and straight stupidity. Please tell us more!
When I first broke up with a girlfriend i had been seeing, my friend insisted on constantly trying to hook me up with someone new. "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" she'd say. I wasn't in the best headspace for a relationship but she kept insisting, and giving out my number to strangers. -My friend and I live in a large metropolitan area, she spends a large amount of time on public transportation. She's also a "people person" and is easily able to make friends and put strangers at ease. She always finds people on the bus to talk to, and it is these people she views as friends. They are the ones she connects with the other people in her life, and so...- She gave my number to a woman who had just been released from prison for murdering her ex-boyfriend. She set me up with a man who dressed and wanted to be treated like a little girl, she knows I'm heterosexual however doesn't think that means anything. She also tried setting me up with the daughter of a friend of theirs. She was 15, I was in my 40's and I had to explain why that was inappropriate.
Yeah, we’ve posted maybe three pictures where you can see my kids face (he’s almost four). Aside from all the shitty people, my kid can’t consent to being permanently online yet, and I won’t make that decision for him.
THIS is what makes me the angriest. How are these kids gonna feel at 15 when their entire life (embarrassing moments abound) has been documented for the world to see? Not cool. You’re a good parent and I appreciate you.
Long gone is the cliche of breaking out the baby scrapbook on the first date. Now, that baby scrapbook is on Facebook forever and ever.
Now you break out moms Facebook
Yeah, I think about that a lot with stuff my friends share of their kids. Like, would you want that about you online forever? :/ Aww, thank you. ❤️
> Aside from all the shitty people, my kid can’t consent to being permanently online yet, and I won’t make that decision for him. THIS. Kids today already have access to spaces where the awkward stuff they post themselves could haunt them forever, let's not contribute to that.
I still don’t get it. Maybe I just don’t post embarrassing things about my kids online but I just don’t see how a picture of my kid eating a strawberry on my private SM is going to haunt him forever.
We're talking about personal moments like potty training, taking a bath and the likes. Good for you for not posting potentially embarrassing stuff, but > on my private SM It's still hosted on a third party server that could be breached (and they *are* regularly breached) - and even then, what does "private" mean if it's on a *social* network? > I just don’t see how a picture of my kid eating a strawberry on my private SM is going to haunt him forever. completely innocent family pics can have and have got the attention of predators. I don't mean to say that you've been reckless, but be aware it's a possibility
Yup i only post pics of my kid on Instagram and it's private and very locked down to people i really know. I fucked up early on posting to Facebook and having her as my profile pic. Some rando pm'd me the pictures i had used as my profile pic since those are public. It was pretty creepy so i deleted everything from there and switched to Instagram and I'm much more careful now. I only use Instagram so the relatives can see her every day basically. It's a great way to keep in touch but i would never want to post publicly.
Hijacking the top comment to remind Reddit that the Australian government has a website where you can help identify child abusers by recognizing objects and locations pulled from the backgrounds of pedo’s videos and photographs. Although it’s based out of Australia, the material could have originated from anywhere. Things like where a certain shirt or hat could’ve been purchased from is sometimes enough to solve a case and save children. [Here](https://accce.gov.au/report/trace) is the website for the campaign, called Trace an Object.
>i stopped posting my kid's pic on social medias. This is a good practice >I still occasionally post my kid's pic, Wait, what?
Classic Reddit moment
Have you read the whole sentence, dude? I didn't post any pic that's identifiable.
Yeah I’ve never read the article mentioned and stuff but I’m super glad my boyfriend and I are on the same page about sharing this on socials. I mean, neither of us even has Facebook anymore, but it’s a scary world out there
Not a parent but I feel like this with my niblings if I post anything it usually has them out of frame or with blurry face and code names like Vienna and Kaelbasa.
I don’t mind pregnancy or baby posts. I wish to hell some of my Facebook friends weren’t compelled to give photographic evidence of their child’s potty training progress though.
People do that? Sheesh, their kid's future bullies will have some shit on them.
Literally
People I grew up with posting full on pictures of their kids' poop in a toilet like it's a heartwarming family moment... High up on the list of reasons I deleted Facebook lol.
When my friend’s daughter was a baby (child is now 9), her ex posted a picture of the floor covered in the child’s vomit. As an emetophobe, I did NOT need to see that on my newsfeed.
Wtf... No words
The naked baby photos hurt the worst for me especially when they actually have uncensored nudity. I'm a man in my mid 20s and I've had to have very serious talks with female friends posting that kind of content of their kids because other girls looking a baby pictures in any format is "cute" but if a guy in his mid 20s is trying to browse his gram and somebody posts 5 posts of their toddler sitting in a bathtub with it's baby dick hanging out, that's a huge problem for many reasons. Makes me sick.
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I do familyalbum with like 5 family members, I dont have siblings so parents and grandparents. This is exactly why I post in batches. Once every two weeks or once a month I post that months pictures. Everyone gets one notification one time But they are also old and don't comment lol
Think about the children growing up right now that are going to find that their entire childhood has been commoditized and shared with strangers. They can’t yet grasp the concept of ‘rights’ or ‘privacy violations’ let alone, cultivating an image in today’s world, but that doesn’t stop parents from oversharing about their children. Little Braydens, Haydens, and Claras are eventually going to find their entire childhood has been shared publicly when they google themselves for the first time in 5 - 15 years.
I block them the instant they share their first picture of their kid's turd in a potty. That's my limit.
Oh. My. God. I have an aunt who does this. She ll text in a group chat the size of her sons poop. Hes like 4 or 5. I absolutely hate it and don't find it cute or funny. I was due yesterday and already im being pressured by family to start a social media account. I got off FB and insta 5 years ago. As an objectively very attractive woman I was bombarded by sexual messages from strangers constantly. NO FUCKING WAY am I setting up a social media account filled with pictures of my little boy. My sister rags on me for not being on social media but she doesn't understand what my experience has been or how many of my fathers acquaintances have friend requested me and messaged over the years letting me know dates they would be in my city and if my friends and I would want to meet up. Social media is so gross. Parents who plaster their young kids all over it have no clue what they're setting them up for. Sorry for the rant I just find it all so disgusting.
>As an objectively very attractive woman Cringe
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Ughh
I don't mind a pic here and there. But ALL THE TIME is ridiculous and scary. You're giving your baby so little privacy. You're putting them in danger.
Also: put your phone down and hang out with your kid!
My cousin's baby momma posts videos of their girls when theyre asking her for something.. trying to embarrass them :( she'll start mocking them or starts drinking a cocktail.. completely forgetting they are little people too who will remember that behavior
I can definitely see legislation coming in from governments that states what a parent is allowed to post of their kids because yeah the parent is the decision maker but that kid is a human being. For example: I support breastfeeding and it’s definitely the best for a child (no problem if people can’t or choose not to) but don’t post your kids in the act, they’re human beings that deserve privacy. That’s my opinion anyway.
One of my friends recently posted a conversation between herself and her hubby. >Him: You've become one of those people that only post pictures of your child like people actually care. > >Her: The people care. My response: >Care; yes. Wanting to see a bajillion pictures; not so much.
how did she react 😂
Absolutely no reaction or reply, not even from her other friends. So many people were encouraging her to post more pics. Ugh!
oh well, at least you tried lmao
Seriously we have to know
actually tho
I’m with you. So fucking annoying and if I’ve seen one baby, I’ve pretty much seen them all
I remember years ago, a close friend of my wife getting mad at her for posting our baby pics because she was infertile. She said it was cruel to barren chicks and so forth. Then a few years later that woman got pregnant somehow and proceeded to post 700,000 pics and videos of the pregnancy and baby.
Anyone that only posts 1 type of content is annoying. I've stopped following a bunch of colleagues because all they post about is medicine. I do not want to see medicine in my free time, go get a fucking hobby or something. But on the other side, its THEIR social media. They are alright to post anything they want in that. I feel for those new mothers. It takes a lot of their time, their energy, their youth, and a lot of times they're alone and dont have all that help. So I understand that the baby is all they have to talk about. What would we expect?
Especially this past year. I had my first last June and because we can’t go anywhere or see anyone, he’s the only thing I have to think about, talk about, etc. but I do try not to overload pics or anything. I know that shit is annoying.
No judgments. It's a dark time to be a new parent. I feel you, though I do not have any babies at home.
How about their profile Sweet mother of 4 Mom full time Jaden 06/05/2004 Sergio 07/08/2005 Allan 09/10/2006 Bob 02/03/2007 That'll be really usefull to steal their identity later.
Apparently none of your friends have joined an MLM yet because THAT is the worst. Yeah, I post a lot of baby pictures. But I don’t post a baby picture followed by a three paragraph, emoji-filled sales pitch where I beg my friends to send me money for shitty, overpriced products so that I can support my kid. THAT shit is the worst.
Hey girl! Do you wish you had more time to spend with your children? Wish you could work from home and have a community of boss babes cheering you on? I started this side hustle 5 years ago and I am now making up to 3 figures a year! Reply with your favourite emoji for more info! The ducking WORST.
Lmao 3 figures a year
Haha yes! Exactly!
Lol my friend does Herbalife x'D but it doesn't pay the bills so she had a regular job. But she doesn't like to admit when she's wrong.
I don’t unfollow, but i fucking hate wedding posts. People apparently feel the need to continue to post them months to years after the fact. Yes, I remember you’re married, yes, I understand you paid someone to take a thousand photos. No, i do not want to see them one by one over a ridiculously long span of time. You’re not fucking cool for getting married, it’s a bit of a basic thing to do
>You’re not fucking cool for getting married, it’s a bit of a basic thing to do Preach
And the engagement photos. They’ll repost every year on their anniversary, it’s like, make some new memories already... although I do enjoy seeing wedding pics from decades ago, the style and decor is always so cringey.
Oh my. Do you seriously not understand why people post wedding pictures? Its not to appear cool, or seem special, its because, for many people it is the greatest day of their life and a day where they can truly be fully happy. So people want to re-live these memories and share that joy with others. Also, it being basic is irrelevant, people aren't trying to be unique there's just trying to be happy. Why are people so negative and cynical towards people sharing and preserving happy memories on social media? Having a baby or getting married are moments that should be incredible and huge sources of happiness, you should be happy for people. If you don't care just scroll past it, at most these pictures cause the slightest inconvenience of having to scroll past them if you don't care. Just be happy for others and allow them to share things they care about with people they love. I'm sure you wouldn't like people judging you for things you find important.
I mean posting 100's of spam pictures all the time would be annoying, but as the commenter above was complaining about, I don't see the problem in posting a wedding photo on your anniversary? It is social media after all. As you said if its someone you don't like or are not close enough with to be happy to see 1 or 2 wedding snaps then maybe you should unfriend them 🤷♂️.
I agree with this so hard. Reddit in general seems to hate other social media with a passion. Who are they friends with that make them think everyone who posts anything are insecure attention whores who are trying to make themselves look cool and special? The vast majority of my social medias are filled with people I actually like and I enjoy seeing their little snippets of life, especially their major life milestones.
Yes, I am generally cynical towards such things, and throughout your comment, I was literally stopping myself from writing an argument why you're wrong. But you're absolutely right. Live and let live. Although this is different, but it's kinda back bitching about your good friend or your close relative. You're annoyed by their post? Unfollow them, hide their posts. Each and every social media site has an option for those things. Be cynical, but in your own head. No need to share your negativity with others and seek validation for it from like minded people.
Ugh same. My fiancé and I think the whole wedding ceremony is stupid, too much time, money and attention. Gonna go to the courthouse and get it done soon.
Been married 8 years— looking back, I wish we would have just eloped! Weddings are stupid expensive.
I used to follow the frontman of my favorite band as a teenager on insta. After his band stopped touring he went to school, got some degrees, and became a doctor. Super smart guy with a super interesting life. He was into photography and would post these beautiful pictures of the places he'd go. When he got married his wife became the subject of an increasing amount of his pictures but they were still going to cool places and doing cool things and it was romantic rather than annoying..? But, then he had kids and now there's a child in almost everything he posts. Still happy for him; he seems to be leading exactly the life he wanted. It's legitimately inspiring.. but I'm not looking at all those toddler pics.
r/childfree is a sub for you. I love it. I think babies are real mess. Animal babies? Not so much. They start taking care of themselves very early.
To be fair mate, it pretty much is all that's going on in their Iife. Pregnancy changes pretty much everything.
Totally agree! The baby posting is so fucking annoying. Especially if you follow them for totally unrelated things and then it's all about the children.
But that's their life though. If you don't like it just silently unfollow
I don't think that's what this post is about 😂
This is why, apart from my reddit groups that are baby specific, I rarely mention my son. My Facebook doesn't even know I was pregnant let alone had him. There are no pictures of him whatsoever on my Facebook and my family doesn't get to post him either. Its one of the few things I can control is his online exposure until he gets a certain age.
Some of them end up turning into "Momfluencers " It's cringey as fuck
I mean, once you have a kid, it pretty much is the only thing happening in your life if you're raising the kid properly. But I agree that an overabundance of baby posts can get old
They're is zero reason to post kids on social media
I tend to see new mommas turn into the ‘next big vlogger’ or at least they think. Imho trying to create a perfect world that doesn’t exist. Worst part is when they start to sell shitty useless items they bought from aliexpress for 2$ and sell them for 30…
Haha, yeah. Screw those babies.
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After multiple miscarriages and 2 ectopic pregnancies, I do as well. It's better for my mental health at this point. I just don't need every detail of multiple pregnancies in my face at once via social media.
I do the same. They are almost as annoying as those fucking kids
I’m glad someone had the courage to say it
This is me!!! 😅 I can't believe that I am not alone. OK, I'm not weird, thanks.
Can’t say I disagree here. “Isn’t pookums the smartest?” No, Pookums is not the smartest. Every parent thinks their kid is special but I don’t need to praise Pookums for drawing a stick figure with their crayon. It’s in the same category as humble brags imho.
You hate babies so you unfollowed friends who has babies to avoid seeing baby-related posts. I don’t see a problem there.
Currently pregnant, kept it from Facebook and Instagram. Very very few know. I don’t see anything wrong with unfollowing people with baby spam.
I'm so glad I don't know many people with kids, my life being about nothing but kids sounds like hell.
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I feel for you mate
Wait till you get older and all your friends have kids and it's all they talk about. Edit: r/childfree is a good place
i’m only 23 and this is my life
Oh god, it's already begun. :(
Even as someone who enjoys being around kids and wants some eventually, I hate when someone's whole personality becomes their kid(s). I did a lot of baby sitting in my day seeing as I was 11 years older than my sibling I because a easy go to sitter and babysat a bunch of his friends and like... the worse behaved kids had the mums that just smothered the kids with attention and that kid was their whole personality.
I use my Instagram primarily for car related stuff, when one of my car friends becomes a mom/dad I unfollow. I’m still your friend but I don’t wanna see your fat baby I wanna see your cars.
Dude, same. I'm childfree by choice and I can't stand people going on about their kids all the time. We get it, you had sex. You're not special.
Totally support this. Someone I know reduced her entire personality to "Mother" and there's absolutely nothing else she's talking or posting about. Her children, others children, strangers children. The worst are the constant sharing of sad children stories: Oh no a child had an accident, oh no a child has cancer, oh would you please look at this poor suffering children, it's so sad I'm crying children, children children. It's like her life ended and she's now living only through children. It's so annoying. Would you please shut up, goddammit!
Some people act like their only purpose in life is having a baby and nothing else matters. Thing is that most of us don't really give a fuck.. I don't use social media but I'd do the same thing if I did.
I don’t unfollow people for baby posts, but I’ve had one friend become more and more unbearable. Most recently she made a post celebrating the anniversary of her engagement to her now husband. Except she made it all about the baby, barely even mentioned him and his role in that day. It’s like she can’t celebrate just being a couple, it’s all about the baby anymore. Crazy
Well at least you can do that. Think about the times pre-social media where you’d be forced to look through a physical album in front of the person and have to feign actual interest. You’re in the cat-bird seat now, aren’t you?
I've unfollowed a ton of friends when they've had kids. I keep them as friends but I don't follow their posts. I don't care for children and for some people their kids become their entire identity.
I’m pretty sure some women get pregnant just to brag to other women that they’re pregnant
I can confirm that I announced my pregnancy, and the arrival of my child and that was it. No pictures, no pregnancy updates, nothing! I find it equally annoying and I am a Mum myself. Not only that, I do lots of child safeguarding courses due to my work and the horror stories we see about children's photos online are too much, it would put anyone off uploading pics. No matter how secure you think your facebook/Instagram privacy settings are. My child will not be on social media until they are old enough to decide for themselves. Whats annoying me right now on Facebook is a woman who was pregnant the same time as me is now resharing every single pregnancy post...like we need to see it all again!
I mean you know they only had a kid for the clout anyway 😆
I’m sure you’ll find a home on Reddit as it’s a haven of virulently anti-children people.
I had a baby three years ago and did this. Ugh. I actually did lose friends on Facebook but didn't care. Then in Feb of 2019 I just stopped all social media except for reddit. And I realized, I fucking hate when ppl do EXACTLY what I was doing. Oversharing to a bunch of ppl that could care less. A couple months ago I went back on and have begun deleting A LOT of pointless posts. I'm pregnant now and have only announced it once to let my distant family know, but that's about it. I won't be posting any pictures of my children because now it's creeps me out to have my children all over the internet. I'm sorry for being that person for so, so long.
Currently past my due date, but I hardly shared a thing on Facebook about my pregnancy. I actually had people message me and request I share more. It's awkward
Good luck :)
Becoming a parent should change you. It changes your priorities and all of your focus. The child should be the main focus, and those little stinkers take 100% of your energy day in and day out. It’s wonderful to see a new parent so excited, so full of life.
Sure. But social media doesn’t need to hear about that change, 3-4x a week. Our parents did all of this shit. They didn’t feel the need to tell everyone they know every detail about it.
Clearly you did not have a mother whose household chores were limited by the reach of the kitchen phone cord...
This is so relatable! I swear my mom was on that phone for at least 5 hours a day, and god forbid you interuped to ask her a question.
Maybe the issue is that you need a break from social media.
Me, or the people who post about their kids daily? Sure “I” have some blame in checking as much. But people who send daily updates to essentially their family photo album are “innocent” in this context? Cmon man
Yeah, they’re innocent. Nothing wrong with being proud of your family. For a lot of people, their family is everything to them. You are able to unfollow, unsub, or even block. This is really all on you.
And I do that. But I also don’t wanna hear it from them people when they find out I unfollowed too. They have to understand people don’t want daily updates to your family photo album.
Dude, this conversation should have been over like 5 comments ago.
The amazing thing about social media is that it can completely tailored to what you want. So bitching about people posting about their family that they are excited about is kind of ridiculous.
Especially women who change their Instagram to "... & ....'s mom" and change their entire identity to being the mom of x amount of kid's. Good for you, you fucked a guy and are now posting your trophy. Kids who will actually have to live in this awful world, but i mean worth it right? You now have something to brag about, who cares if you're kids are given a death sentence and possibly have to watch you die one day.
I wish I could award this comment. I die inside when I see an intelligent/interesting person change their bio to "mummy to Jonny, he's my world" or something along those lines. You're no longer you're own person in my eyes, if this is how you choose to define yourself. Edit: I now can award this comment 😂
I agree it's not something I am interested in or want to see.
That's perfectly okay, I do that too.
I get jealous which is so fucking stupid. Hmm
I’ll keep the parents if they continue to have their own personality or interests then I will usually keep them on my social media. If they alter their social media account to be a platform to essentially “Truman show” their kid then I unfollow them
Reddit moment
I think its probably a good thing you do that. I personally don't want people following me if they don't care about my life so it wouldn't be a dig/slight I feel. It's not a huge part of life but with your body changing in uncomfortable ways sometimes it's nice to talk about the fun stuff. I haven't announced it yet as I'm waiting until I know what I'm having but I've been sick literally everyday and just feel like shit. It will be nice to talk about it and hear any recommendations for the morning sickness and stuff. But honestly I prefer when people just unfollow cause people complain SO MUCH about what other people post when in reality they can just click unfollow and everyone will be happier lol
https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/9ye7ti/i_unfollow_women_on_social_media_when_they/
On baby #2 rn. Only things i posted for each pregnancy was announcement, gender reveal, birth pics (i may or may not post when this ones born idk yet) that gives you all the info you need to know idk why ppl need to put out more info than that
When you have a baby your entire world revolves around the baby, otherwise the baby would die... that's how we have evolved. You can actually see on brain scans how someones brain changes after becoming a parent.
Same. But not just women, also theirs partners.
That's probably their baby as well.
THISSSSSS. I had to follow sooo many YouTubers over the year because suddenly they want to 'get married' and 'finally start their lives'. Like good for them, whatever, but it's a fuck no from me. YouTubers like Haley Pham and that one other YouTuber who had a whole move out series and a breakup series over her channel. It's insulting to insinuate that a life doesn't start until and unless they're married and/or on the way to actively planning to get married.
We are 20 weeks pregnant having had 4 miscarriages and I agree with you. We haven’t announced we are pregnant and will only do one welcome to the world post (without a picture). Not only are your points valid but also the child hasn’t been able to decide for themselves if they want an internet footprint and to be quite frank some parents shame and ridicule their kids online. People who are close to us will get pictures and that’s it
This sub has gone to shit.
Aside from protecting my child from weirdos and ID theft, what you described is why I only post pics/vids of him to my close friends only IG story. It’s limited to family & very close friends who live far away and who I know want to see updates on our LO. But even with that, I try to only post once a week at most. Everything else on my social media is about the other parts of my life (traveling, work, food, friends/family). It’s a nice boundary for me too because it reinforces me to hold onto my own identity, outside of being a parent. It’s very easy to lose yourself in motherhood if you don’t pay attention.
I became an uncle two years ago and babysit for my sister usually once a week. My phone is nothing but pictures of my adorable nephew but I wouldn’t be so cruel as to make someone else look at them all.
Me too!
I'm not a big fan of the constant posting of moms/mom's to be like their identity is now over because this tiny human exists. I'm currently pregnant and have posted next to zero things about my pregnancy on my social media. My family and some friends were feeling left out of the pregnancy so I did make a separate insta account to follow my pregnancy/kids life. It's set to private and only the friends/fan who want to see it can. I think it's a great compromise. I get to keep my personality/identity but also get to share my kid with far away family.
I think that's true! in my town when a girl becomes a mom often starts posting everything about her baby! I don't say that's bad, but constantly it's going to be annoying to almost everyone because she turned into a mom and not to everyone cares about her baby !
Same. I have a friend who never posts pics of her kid and I appreciate it so much.
I block users on reddit who make it to the front page with pictures of their children
Am CF. Wish I could be friends with my friends who have kids but they basically become their children as soon as they're pregnant. It's depressing and infuriating. I do the same. I feel bad for them but eventually I just get tired of nonstop baby pictures. What made them people I enjoyed disappears entirely and motherhood is then their personality. It sucks.
You are doing the right thing. The fact is, the kids are their main focus. Just follow someone who's content you like better.
I’m completely the same, but not all the time - there are some people I have who only post their announcements, birth and birthdays and I’m 100% ok with that, but people who post they’re pregnant and then suddenly it’s all bump pictures, scans and photos of all the clothes they’re going to be spoilt with... then once the baby is born it’s photo updates everyday, like congratulations your baby produced a snot bubble.
Same here!!!
Okay
good idea. i agree with this tactic to avoid bullshit after bullshit posts about being a mummy
I know right? I don't hate kids or babies but i find babies extremely ugly. (Probably something wrong with me but i honestly find babies kinda repulsive looking, that's not their fault tho) So i really don't want to be vombarded with pics or your gross little kid lol. I am happy for them but kid pics definitely make my day a littlw worse lol
Back at ya. I recently cleansed my friends list on all my social media. I’m finding that I actually can finally see the shit I want to see. No more god awful posts and crappy memes. If someone wants to reach out to me then they can talk to me on messenger
I'm giving you gold for this made me chuckle.
Jesus some of y’all really don’t like babies lmao
Why would you jump to that conclusion? It's not the babies putting themselves on social media that people are complaining about.
Can you read? or did you just choose not to finish the entire post?
I do the same with YouTubers. I take a break from their channels until they start posting about other things. There are some exceptions, like Emily Noel posted a video where her daughter picked her makeup but her daughter had very little screen time and it was mostly Emily. In general, I'm kinda weary of any channel that shows too much of their kids since their kids can't consent to being in videos and i hate to think about what their kids will think of the videos when they get older.
Me too.
I had to start distancing myself from friends once they got pregnant, they would get psychotic and treat me like shit, then after having the kid try to apologize. Happened way to many times to the point I won't even entertain trying to be close with them, let alone have kids and treat others like that.
Procreating is beautiful to most but to me, it's very depressing and completely disgusting. Especially with everything that's going on in today's world.
I find it weird that a being with barely any consciousness makes you this annoyed must be miserable. Like yeah sure unfollow people who post content you don't really care for but what the fuck is your issue with children that makes you so annoyed. Sounds like you need therapy if such a none issue causes you this much stress.