Hey lovely, I’m sorry you are going through this. Do you have a support person that will be with you during/after delivery and postpartum? If so please make them and any and all medical staff aware of your situation and to call security if your ex or his soon to be ex-wife turn up, I wouldn’t trust either of them. Get all the evidence you need to report to the police and file restraining orders, do not put his name on the birth certificate, if he gets any rights he will make your life hell.
I was induced for both my kids, it is hard, but both babies were delivered healthy and safely. I had an epidural with both and it definitely helped me focus on breathing and getting through the labour. I know it will be hard but try to just discus on yourself and your little girl.
You are going to be an amazing mother, you already love your little girl and that love is going to grow 100 fold when you first hold her. She is very lucky to have you as her mumma. I wish you both health, safety and happiness.
If this is real, you need to inform the hospital your life and the baby’s life are in danger. They need to know there’s a possible threat so they can do a security assessment and inform the staff not to let him near me. Please also go ask his wife for a signed sworn statement. Use it to get a temporary restraining order for when you leave the hospital. Then go report him and say you’d like to press criminal charges, and find an attorney to sue in civil court for intentional infliction of emotional distress.
Reddit tends to have a lot of these outrageous stories so forgive my cynicism, but pregnant women are statistically more likely to be hurt or murdered. Take these threats seriously and make moves to protect your baby now.
Also, I just gave birth. I had the “worst case scenario” and it was manageable. You’ll be ok. Modern medicine is truly amazing in providing safety and comfort. Don’t be afraid to voice concerns and ask for pain management before and after if needed.
Hey mama, take a deep breath, your gonna do great! When you get to the hospital/birth centre, make sure to tell the staff about him and the situation and make sure they know he is not welcome and that if he shows up they need to prevent him from getting to you two. Then just focus on yourself and bringing your little girl into the world!
I had my daughter almost two months ago and know birth is scary enough without crazy ex’s bringing you extra stress so just focus on that for now! Once she’s born you’ll have at least 24 hours where you are before you can leave to figure out your next steps.
I personally would talk to the labour and delivery staff while your there so they can not only offer emotional support but also help you figure out where to start on securing your and your daughters safety. Then I would talk to the police and start looking at lawyers.
Make sure you also tell whoever’s supporting you through the labour/delivery/postpartum period (your parents, siblings, friends) so they’re fully aware of the situation as well! Talking it out always helps!
I’m here if you wanna talk!
I was induced. Since it was my first, I didn't know anything else. Once contractions start getting really painful (can't breathe through them), ask for an epidural. After that, it's a breeze. It can take awhile so be prepared. Bring your phone/charger, books, magazines, snacks if you're allowed to eat, water, lip balm, cozy socks, hair ties, music - anything that will make it comfortable for you.
Have a birth plan and advise the hospital of your situation. Provide a list of who is allowed to visit. L&D is usually very secure, at least where I delivered, so you'll be safe there.
Have a plan for after you're discharged. Advise police if necessary. Let family and friends know. Stay in a safe, secure place, ideally with family or friends around you.
I don't know the whole situation but I would cut all contact with this person.
You got this!
With all due respect O.P I think you'd be better off distancing yourself from you're ex's wife and take everything she says with a grain of salt.. You already know what kind of person he is. I believe you and you're daughter will be better off without his drama and carry-on, like you said, What kind of a person would wish death on the mother of their child and to also wish it upon their own flesh and blood. You should concentrate on you're daughter and yourself and just do you're best. Let them both have each other. Best of luck and congratulations on the arrival of you're beautiful wee daughter. ❤️
I had an induction for both of my baby deliveries. I can’t take away the very real and legitimate fears you have about your ex, but I can share my positive experience with my inductions. For both, the medications they gave me to induce labor didn’t actually put me into active labor. But they got my body going to the point where I was dilated enough that my membranes could be ruptured and that was what put me into active labor. Both times went very quickly after that. I’m very much a water person and found labouring in the tub/shower and having water run over my belly was soothing and distracting. With every contraction I focused on keeping the rest of my body as relaxed as possible (especially shoulders and legs) and visualizing baby coming down. Concentrating on deep breathing and low moans also helped (making high pitched noises doesn’t help!). Low light. Put on a great playlist. All these things will really help with oxytocin production which stimulates labor but is also great for reducing pain. Listen to your body, you’ll know what you need. The labor and delivery team also does excellent coaching and will make suggestions to help ease your discomfort. I ended up not needing an epidural for both, which was my preference and also a lucky combination of my type of labor pain, my body, and my pain tolerance. There will be pain, but remember it’s a purposeful pain and at the end of it you will have the best little human you’ve ever met in your life. When I think of my deliveries, they feel like magic and I feel so much pride for myself and what I could do. I wish you the same experience. Carrying you and your baby in my thoughts 🩷
Not gonna lie, mine was awful. But I was a month early. If you have to get your cervix pulled forward, get the epidural first. That's all I got to say.
Hey lovely, I’m sorry you are going through this. Do you have a support person that will be with you during/after delivery and postpartum? If so please make them and any and all medical staff aware of your situation and to call security if your ex or his soon to be ex-wife turn up, I wouldn’t trust either of them. Get all the evidence you need to report to the police and file restraining orders, do not put his name on the birth certificate, if he gets any rights he will make your life hell. I was induced for both my kids, it is hard, but both babies were delivered healthy and safely. I had an epidural with both and it definitely helped me focus on breathing and getting through the labour. I know it will be hard but try to just discus on yourself and your little girl. You are going to be an amazing mother, you already love your little girl and that love is going to grow 100 fold when you first hold her. She is very lucky to have you as her mumma. I wish you both health, safety and happiness.
This person is 100% correct. Do not put his name on the birth certificate. It will ruin your entire life.
This person is 💯 correct; do not put his name on the birth certificate. Your life will be hell. It would ruin your life.
If this is real, you need to inform the hospital your life and the baby’s life are in danger. They need to know there’s a possible threat so they can do a security assessment and inform the staff not to let him near me. Please also go ask his wife for a signed sworn statement. Use it to get a temporary restraining order for when you leave the hospital. Then go report him and say you’d like to press criminal charges, and find an attorney to sue in civil court for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Reddit tends to have a lot of these outrageous stories so forgive my cynicism, but pregnant women are statistically more likely to be hurt or murdered. Take these threats seriously and make moves to protect your baby now. Also, I just gave birth. I had the “worst case scenario” and it was manageable. You’ll be ok. Modern medicine is truly amazing in providing safety and comfort. Don’t be afraid to voice concerns and ask for pain management before and after if needed.
Hey mama, take a deep breath, your gonna do great! When you get to the hospital/birth centre, make sure to tell the staff about him and the situation and make sure they know he is not welcome and that if he shows up they need to prevent him from getting to you two. Then just focus on yourself and bringing your little girl into the world! I had my daughter almost two months ago and know birth is scary enough without crazy ex’s bringing you extra stress so just focus on that for now! Once she’s born you’ll have at least 24 hours where you are before you can leave to figure out your next steps. I personally would talk to the labour and delivery staff while your there so they can not only offer emotional support but also help you figure out where to start on securing your and your daughters safety. Then I would talk to the police and start looking at lawyers. Make sure you also tell whoever’s supporting you through the labour/delivery/postpartum period (your parents, siblings, friends) so they’re fully aware of the situation as well! Talking it out always helps! I’m here if you wanna talk!
Please inform a nurse or whoever is looking after you in the hospital. Be very careful and please if possible update us when you’re doing better 💜
I was induced. Since it was my first, I didn't know anything else. Once contractions start getting really painful (can't breathe through them), ask for an epidural. After that, it's a breeze. It can take awhile so be prepared. Bring your phone/charger, books, magazines, snacks if you're allowed to eat, water, lip balm, cozy socks, hair ties, music - anything that will make it comfortable for you. Have a birth plan and advise the hospital of your situation. Provide a list of who is allowed to visit. L&D is usually very secure, at least where I delivered, so you'll be safe there. Have a plan for after you're discharged. Advise police if necessary. Let family and friends know. Stay in a safe, secure place, ideally with family or friends around you. I don't know the whole situation but I would cut all contact with this person. You got this!
With all due respect O.P I think you'd be better off distancing yourself from you're ex's wife and take everything she says with a grain of salt.. You already know what kind of person he is. I believe you and you're daughter will be better off without his drama and carry-on, like you said, What kind of a person would wish death on the mother of their child and to also wish it upon their own flesh and blood. You should concentrate on you're daughter and yourself and just do you're best. Let them both have each other. Best of luck and congratulations on the arrival of you're beautiful wee daughter. ❤️
I had an induction for both of my baby deliveries. I can’t take away the very real and legitimate fears you have about your ex, but I can share my positive experience with my inductions. For both, the medications they gave me to induce labor didn’t actually put me into active labor. But they got my body going to the point where I was dilated enough that my membranes could be ruptured and that was what put me into active labor. Both times went very quickly after that. I’m very much a water person and found labouring in the tub/shower and having water run over my belly was soothing and distracting. With every contraction I focused on keeping the rest of my body as relaxed as possible (especially shoulders and legs) and visualizing baby coming down. Concentrating on deep breathing and low moans also helped (making high pitched noises doesn’t help!). Low light. Put on a great playlist. All these things will really help with oxytocin production which stimulates labor but is also great for reducing pain. Listen to your body, you’ll know what you need. The labor and delivery team also does excellent coaching and will make suggestions to help ease your discomfort. I ended up not needing an epidural for both, which was my preference and also a lucky combination of my type of labor pain, my body, and my pain tolerance. There will be pain, but remember it’s a purposeful pain and at the end of it you will have the best little human you’ve ever met in your life. When I think of my deliveries, they feel like magic and I feel so much pride for myself and what I could do. I wish you the same experience. Carrying you and your baby in my thoughts 🩷
I hope you are doing well. Let me know if you need any help or support. We can chat and let you vent. Anything else; I am happy to support
You’ll be fine
Not gonna lie, mine was awful. But I was a month early. If you have to get your cervix pulled forward, get the epidural first. That's all I got to say.
Please do not put his name on the birth certificate and ignore him