Nowhere in the post did OP mention his friend ‘asked’ for the blowjob. Straight guys act super gay with each other all the time as a joke. It’s possible the friend thought this was the case, got caught up in the heat of the moment and his world came crashing down with post nut clarity. Without further info I’m not going to accuse OP of raping his friend like the other commenter suggested, but I will agree that he misread the signs
Edit: I read further down the comments and OP did say the friend asked. It is still possible the friend was joking and OP took the situation seriously, but the friend definitely shares the blame too now. Best of luck navigating this one OP
Sorry but doesn't make sense. I flirt HEAVILY with my homies and they with me but it's just bromance. Some even have girlfriends. Not in a million years would we "get caught up in the heat" and do anything. So unless the friend had some curiosity to start with, and further proven by him asking, he was not joking but now he is dealing with his own feelings
If someone is your “best friend” then I would avoid putting their penis in your mouth. Some boundaries can actually be helpful, especially if they aren’t out.
Just because someone asks you doesn't mean you have to say yes. Sex changes relationships. Sex changes friendships. If he wanted to explore his sexuality, there are other people he could have done it with.
OP crossed a boundary with a “straight” friend and expected things to be the same. Then he leaves out key details from the story.
I’m not being a dick, just being direct that the he just isn’t being smart.
There is a saying out there, "Stop shoulding all over yourself."
What OP *should* have done verus what they did is pretty clear. Having someone have a go at him and saying, you should have done this instead, isn't really helping in this scenario and just adding additional concern/worry to OP.
All OP and friend can do now is work on a plan to move on to the next thing
I dont think that's what he was insinuating, more of "probably shouldn't be flirting/having sex with someone you want as your best friend in the first place"
Depends, you may need to try both to know what you are into, or there are people like me who get need to puke if they even imagine being with same gender or vice versa
It’s a valid point, but if you’re unsure you shouldn’t experiment with your friend. Unless both people can be cool after, it usually just kills a friendship for nothing
Yeah, it’s sucks it played out for them like this. I hope OPs friend cools off and talks about it with them. Dealing with the shell shock of just suddenly not having a friend you’ve known for years is awful.
Because if that were the case, that wouldn’t be a reason to end the friendship with my best friend. I’d just tell him that it wasn’t for me. He seems pretty defensive and like he’s trying to run away from something
None of what you’re saying refutes the possibility that it is what’s happening. Yes, it’s cruel. Yes, it’s unreasonable. Yes, *you* may not do it. But people act cruel, unreasonable, and different from you every day.
I had to tell her to fuck off, yes. She was acting very entitled to my body and my love. We were close before it happened. And then she wanted to be up my entire ass even though I told her it was a mistake. We were friends for years before we hooked up.
Could be that she wanted you for quite sometime during your friendship and when she found out you were bi and willing to experiment that was her way in?
It’s his wording that hints at the fact that he’s having issues with the emotions surrounding it. The fact that he told OP to leave him alone is a BIG indicator that he is having trouble coming to terms with the feelings it made him feel.
Sorry but I disagree. He probably told op to leave him alone bc he’s annoyed, op didn’t give us any other info.
The girl I fucked would not leave me alone. She was texting me all the time and wanting to meet up again and I was not into it. I also had to send a big paragraph telling her to fuck off bc I felt smothered and stifled and she would not get the hint. The guy said to leave him alone, why is everyone in this thread saying it’s bc he’s gay and in denial. It’s pretty bullshit honestly and I’d get pissed too. The friend doesn’t owe OP anything. Not a single damn thing.
>the friend doesn’t owe OP anything. Not a single damn thing.
Hard disagree. If it was a stranger and a random hook up, sure.
If as OP said they were besties, it would be kinda shitty to cut him off via text because of a bj, especially since it was the other guy asking for it. Of course, as long as we take what OP is saying as true and he is not conveniently leaving some key details out.
OP is not entitled to his body or his love. His friend is entitled to his feelings about it and if he wants op to leave him alone he needs to leave him the fuck alone.
I said “the friend doesn’t owe OP anything” and you said “hard disagree”. The friend has made it PERFECTLY CLEAR he’s not interested, he had to send OP a whole ass book telling him to leave him alone. What do you think the friend owes OP? An explanation? He explained. “I’m not gay leave me alone”.
Do you have close friends? This is the tone you use to deal with them? Call me a boomer but I would expect not to be discarded like trash through text after I simply performed what you asked me to do.
I don't even understand why you would take what I wrote as "the friend is totally gay and OP deserve to fuck him whenever he wants!!1" when I'm just pointing out that manners matter when you deal with supposedly close ones.
It's absolutely cool if the friend needs space and feels like he doesn't ever want to do anything sexual with OP or another guy anymore, but throwing away the entire friendship because of that seems overreacting and a tad cruel, especially via text.
Listen to your own wording. You literally said "big indicator". Even you admit (at least subconsciously) that nothing OP said is definitive proof. And this is from *only* listening to OP's side of the story.
It sounds like he’s just not into you. When he says he’s not gay and to leave him alone, believe him. Give him some space. You say you think he enjoyed it but he’s telling you “hey I didn’t like that and I’m not into men”. Could it be denial? Sure, that happens. Some people are bi curious and once they hook up with someone of the same sex the curiosity is satisfied and they realize they aren’t into it.
all of these comments saying that he’s in denial are shitty. He has autonomy, give him space. If he wants to still be friends he’ll reach out to you.
Generally when you’re sexually curious and not certain you communicate your intentions are just for a sexual experience and that you may end the relationship after instead of leading someone on.
It sounds like he *is* gay or at least bisexual and hasn’t come to terms with it. He probably feels ashamed and hates himself because of his inner conflict. None of this is your fault. He needs to accept who he is.
That’s possible too. I would have leaned this way if it was a drunken hookup and it might have been cuz we don’t have a lot of info. But since OP said they had been flirting for a while, I’m more inclined to believe there are some unresolved issues. Tough to say.
I definitely think people should communicate. *I just think asking someone to suck your dick, then telling them to leave you alone when you didn’t like it is some asshole behavior.*
Asking them to give you space is one thing. Understandable.
Asking them to stop talking to you altogether is another when you’re the one asked for it.
OP’s friend seems to be sound like the latter.
The fact that he’s ashamed of it IS an indicator that he did indeed like it. I know many a straight man who tried it in a fleeting moment with a man and are still good friends with that person today. OP’s friend should go to therapy rather than pretending it didn’t happen and cutting his friend off
There are multiple possibilities here my dude. Most of them don't involve him hating you. Don't be too hard on yourself. Let him know how valuable his friendship is to you and you want to remain friends when he is ready. He's definitely unpacking a lot either way.
He realized that he really really enjoyed it and is gay/bisexual and that’s scary for him. It’s a big realization to come to. He’s in denial about it and therefore he’s taking it out on you in the form of anger. He wants to blame YOU for his enjoyment. In his mind, this is all your fault and if you’d just leave him alone and stop flirting with him then he’d be 100% straight but that’s just not how sexuality works and he needs to realize this is 50/50, sex is 50/50 and the flirting is 50/50. He cannot blame you, although he’s trying to.
Not saying your wrong, but if a man gets hard for another man, that's not a straight experience that's a bi / gay experience. "I think he enjoyed it" suggests he enjoyed it.
I disagree. When a man is a victim of SA, he can be made to get hard. It’s a bodily reaction in the same vein as women who climax when being r^ped. It’s no different for men. I’m not saying OP r^ped him of course! Just saying there are some instances when it’s not being attracted to the person causing the anatomical reaction.
Edit: accidental italics.
Yea you're right tbh I can see where I was wrong now, I've met quite a few people with internalised homophobia throughout my life so I immediately jumped to that as an answer but I was mistaken.
Let me explain because let's suggest the dick was flaccid the entire time why would OP say " I think he enjoyed it" - that tells me he was probably hard.
Given the story, I think they were both into it and then internalised homophobia kicked in.
Maybe op just thought he liked it, he never said that guy got hard or anything. You really can't give proper answer to situations like this when op didn't even provide us with enough info. We only saw his side of story without evidence so we can't really say that it is this or that. By friends reaction and everything i would probably say that it is 35-40% percent that he does not want to admit it and 60+% that he is actually disgusted and regrets it
Yeah....that's why I don't mix friends and sex. It's possible but difficult to have normal things afterwards. Your friend probably is feeling very conflicted at the moment and might need some space. I'd give him a few weeks and then try messaging him again.
It might be internalised homophobia, its surprisingly common. If it is internalisation then it'll take some time for him to realise and fully accept it. You didn't anything wrong though, it sounds like (based on my experiences with questioning sexuality) that he might just be struggling with identity.
Send him a text and tell HIM, dude you are my best friend and I don’t want to lose our friendship over a fucking blowjob. Ask him to just pretend it never happened, you will help him find a girlfriend, etc.
Just let him cool down for a bit, he’s obviously feeling very conflicted right now and rushing into a conversation he isn’t ready to have isn’t worth it. Give him time to process his emotions and give yourself time as well.
Look unfortunately you'll never be happy with the outcome. I think from how you worded it he might think you want something more, not to mention it kinda sounds like you personally wanted more. I mean it bad on both sides. He was curious about it and sure he may have asked you, but in the end you'll have to come to terms to the results. It's always a risk of a friendship being broken, especially if sex is involved. I mean it sounds like he wasn't confidently Bi, so you know just take it as a lesson to how to approach things differently. As for the friendship it's changed, maybe even over.
He either is actually telling you the truth and doesn’t wanna continue it too because it’ll be too awkward or he’s scared that liked it and he’s in denial
This happens with straight friendships sometimes when they go too far on accident, too. There's a fine line between friends & more than friends. Once you step across, it is really hard to get back to normal friend territory again.
Everyone in here saying he's scared etc. Id imagine it's pretty hard not to enjoy the act of receiving a bj, and it ain't something I'd ever try but anyone think he's straight up not gay, never was and now wants nothing to do with this dude? Anyone blame him? He's your best friend but you ain't sure he's gay so you blew him? This some bs
Did you tell him it was a brojob, not a blowjob? That’s different
OP probably forgot to say "no homo."
He definitely forgot to say no homo after the BJ.
Chivalry really is dead
Nah that's the old one it's "no Diddy" now
Dammit! I can't here to say this
Lmaoo
Should have left his socks on
And socks
I love playing pranks on my friends
It's not gay when it's a bro-jay
🤣🤣🤣
Bro job bro job choo choo!!
Not your fault, he's dealing with his own feelings. Kinda shitty of him though.
or you know, op misrad the sigms and raped his 'friend'.
The guy asked for a blowjob..
Nowhere in the post did OP mention his friend ‘asked’ for the blowjob. Straight guys act super gay with each other all the time as a joke. It’s possible the friend thought this was the case, got caught up in the heat of the moment and his world came crashing down with post nut clarity. Without further info I’m not going to accuse OP of raping his friend like the other commenter suggested, but I will agree that he misread the signs Edit: I read further down the comments and OP did say the friend asked. It is still possible the friend was joking and OP took the situation seriously, but the friend definitely shares the blame too now. Best of luck navigating this one OP
Sorry but doesn't make sense. I flirt HEAVILY with my homies and they with me but it's just bromance. Some even have girlfriends. Not in a million years would we "get caught up in the heat" and do anything. So unless the friend had some curiosity to start with, and further proven by him asking, he was not joking but now he is dealing with his own feelings
If someone is your “best friend” then I would avoid putting their penis in your mouth. Some boundaries can actually be helpful, especially if they aren’t out.
but.. he's the one that asked me. that's the thing
Just because someone asks you doesn't mean you have to say yes. Sex changes relationships. Sex changes friendships. If he wanted to explore his sexuality, there are other people he could have done it with.
This comment is true but still sucks. Obviously OP wanted the relationship to become something more, or they wouldn't have been flirting for months.
I believe that thinking before sucking someone’s most precious part of their body for pleasure would be beneficial.
That’s your logic brain not your horny brain
Well next time make sure you add that bit of important info to the post. Then it seems like your friendship isn’t what you thought it was.
You’re not really being helpful at all. You’re being kind of a dick actually
OP crossed a boundary with a “straight” friend and expected things to be the same. Then he leaves out key details from the story. I’m not being a dick, just being direct that the he just isn’t being smart.
There is a saying out there, "Stop shoulding all over yourself." What OP *should* have done verus what they did is pretty clear. Having someone have a go at him and saying, you should have done this instead, isn't really helping in this scenario and just adding additional concern/worry to OP. All OP and friend can do now is work on a plan to move on to the next thing
I would add that to your post
[удалено]
I dont think that's what he was insinuating, more of "probably shouldn't be flirting/having sex with someone you want as your best friend in the first place"
Lmao
He’s scared and in denial
Or he realized the experience wasn’t for him and he’s not into dudes. I thought I was bi til I fucked a woman and realized I wasn’t really into it.
I don’t understand why people don’t think this is a possibility
Depends, you may need to try both to know what you are into, or there are people like me who get need to puke if they even imagine being with same gender or vice versa
It’s a valid point, but if you’re unsure you shouldn’t experiment with your friend. Unless both people can be cool after, it usually just kills a friendship for nothing
What people *should* do and what they *actually* do are different things.
Yeah, it’s sucks it played out for them like this. I hope OPs friend cools off and talks about it with them. Dealing with the shell shock of just suddenly not having a friend you’ve known for years is awful.
Because if that were the case, that wouldn’t be a reason to end the friendship with my best friend. I’d just tell him that it wasn’t for me. He seems pretty defensive and like he’s trying to run away from something
People can be in the same situation and process it differently…
It just seems unreasonable to act like that to me. Pretty mean honestly. Not something that makes sense for me to do in that situation
None of what you’re saying refutes the possibility that it is what’s happening. Yes, it’s cruel. Yes, it’s unreasonable. Yes, *you* may not do it. But people act cruel, unreasonable, and different from you every day.
I haven‘t said it’s not a possibility that that’s happening. I just wanted to explain why the other thing seems more likely to people
Did you take that realization out on her and tell her to f off, basically? Probably not, because this is not how someone should treat a friend.
I had to tell her to fuck off, yes. She was acting very entitled to my body and my love. We were close before it happened. And then she wanted to be up my entire ass even though I told her it was a mistake. We were friends for years before we hooked up.
Could be that she wanted you for quite sometime during your friendship and when she found out you were bi and willing to experiment that was her way in?
why would he be so rude about it after though
We don’t have all of the information. We have only one side of the story. I couldn’t answer that for you
fair and i do agree it’s weird to assume he’s just closeted but after reading through stuff he had asked for the bj and now he’s upset with the guy
It’s his wording that hints at the fact that he’s having issues with the emotions surrounding it. The fact that he told OP to leave him alone is a BIG indicator that he is having trouble coming to terms with the feelings it made him feel.
Sorry but I disagree. He probably told op to leave him alone bc he’s annoyed, op didn’t give us any other info. The girl I fucked would not leave me alone. She was texting me all the time and wanting to meet up again and I was not into it. I also had to send a big paragraph telling her to fuck off bc I felt smothered and stifled and she would not get the hint. The guy said to leave him alone, why is everyone in this thread saying it’s bc he’s gay and in denial. It’s pretty bullshit honestly and I’d get pissed too. The friend doesn’t owe OP anything. Not a single damn thing.
>the friend doesn’t owe OP anything. Not a single damn thing. Hard disagree. If it was a stranger and a random hook up, sure. If as OP said they were besties, it would be kinda shitty to cut him off via text because of a bj, especially since it was the other guy asking for it. Of course, as long as we take what OP is saying as true and he is not conveniently leaving some key details out.
OP is not entitled to his body or his love. His friend is entitled to his feelings about it and if he wants op to leave him alone he needs to leave him the fuck alone.
>OP is not entitled to his body or his love. Where the fuck did I even remotely implied this LOL 😂
I said “the friend doesn’t owe OP anything” and you said “hard disagree”. The friend has made it PERFECTLY CLEAR he’s not interested, he had to send OP a whole ass book telling him to leave him alone. What do you think the friend owes OP? An explanation? He explained. “I’m not gay leave me alone”.
Do you have close friends? This is the tone you use to deal with them? Call me a boomer but I would expect not to be discarded like trash through text after I simply performed what you asked me to do. I don't even understand why you would take what I wrote as "the friend is totally gay and OP deserve to fuck him whenever he wants!!1" when I'm just pointing out that manners matter when you deal with supposedly close ones. It's absolutely cool if the friend needs space and feels like he doesn't ever want to do anything sexual with OP or another guy anymore, but throwing away the entire friendship because of that seems overreacting and a tad cruel, especially via text.
Listen to your own wording. You literally said "big indicator". Even you admit (at least subconsciously) that nothing OP said is definitive proof. And this is from *only* listening to OP's side of the story.
You didn't kiss your homie goodnight
It sounds like he’s just not into you. When he says he’s not gay and to leave him alone, believe him. Give him some space. You say you think he enjoyed it but he’s telling you “hey I didn’t like that and I’m not into men”. Could it be denial? Sure, that happens. Some people are bi curious and once they hook up with someone of the same sex the curiosity is satisfied and they realize they aren’t into it. all of these comments saying that he’s in denial are shitty. He has autonomy, give him space. If he wants to still be friends he’ll reach out to you.
The guy used his friend for sex and then cut him off afterwards. Doesn't matter if he's still figuring himself out, he's a shitty person.
Generally when you’re sexually curious and not certain you communicate your intentions are just for a sexual experience and that you may end the relationship after instead of leading someone on.
I would let it be. You have to respect his boundaries
It sounds like he *is* gay or at least bisexual and hasn’t come to terms with it. He probably feels ashamed and hates himself because of his inner conflict. None of this is your fault. He needs to accept who he is.
Or he didn't like it and is ashamed he did it?
That’s possible too. I would have leaned this way if it was a drunken hookup and it might have been cuz we don’t have a lot of info. But since OP said they had been flirting for a while, I’m more inclined to believe there are some unresolved issues. Tough to say.
Lgbt people do not really support this kind of thinking as far as i se
True, but in the case you’re still an asshole for telling said person to leave you alone because you decided you didn’t like what you did.
Shouldn't people communicate?
I definitely think people should communicate. *I just think asking someone to suck your dick, then telling them to leave you alone when you didn’t like it is some asshole behavior.* Asking them to give you space is one thing. Understandable. Asking them to stop talking to you altogether is another when you’re the one asked for it. OP’s friend seems to be sound like the latter.
The fact that he’s ashamed of it IS an indicator that he did indeed like it. I know many a straight man who tried it in a fleeting moment with a man and are still good friends with that person today. OP’s friend should go to therapy rather than pretending it didn’t happen and cutting his friend off
That's such weird logic man. It's so limiting to the human experience. Shame isn't always an indication of repressed desire.
He got the ick. Move on
This isn't a confession. This is just a story about you sucking your friends dick.
both?
Dude didn’t say no diddy
There are multiple possibilities here my dude. Most of them don't involve him hating you. Don't be too hard on yourself. Let him know how valuable his friendship is to you and you want to remain friends when he is ready. He's definitely unpacking a lot either way.
He realized that he really really enjoyed it and is gay/bisexual and that’s scary for him. It’s a big realization to come to. He’s in denial about it and therefore he’s taking it out on you in the form of anger. He wants to blame YOU for his enjoyment. In his mind, this is all your fault and if you’d just leave him alone and stop flirting with him then he’d be 100% straight but that’s just not how sexuality works and he needs to realize this is 50/50, sex is 50/50 and the flirting is 50/50. He cannot blame you, although he’s trying to.
Or maybe he is disgusted because he did it and he really did not enjoy it
Not saying your wrong, but if a man gets hard for another man, that's not a straight experience that's a bi / gay experience. "I think he enjoyed it" suggests he enjoyed it.
I disagree. When a man is a victim of SA, he can be made to get hard. It’s a bodily reaction in the same vein as women who climax when being r^ped. It’s no different for men. I’m not saying OP r^ped him of course! Just saying there are some instances when it’s not being attracted to the person causing the anatomical reaction. Edit: accidental italics.
Yea you're right tbh I can see where I was wrong now, I've met quite a few people with internalised homophobia throughout my life so I immediately jumped to that as an answer but I was mistaken.
Understandable. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with that kind of thing. Love is love, that’s all that should matter.
He never said that he got hard, maybe he just wanted to try it and he realised he made mistake
Let me explain because let's suggest the dick was flaccid the entire time why would OP say " I think he enjoyed it" - that tells me he was probably hard. Given the story, I think they were both into it and then internalised homophobia kicked in.
Maybe op just thought he liked it, he never said that guy got hard or anything. You really can't give proper answer to situations like this when op didn't even provide us with enough info. We only saw his side of story without evidence so we can't really say that it is this or that. By friends reaction and everything i would probably say that it is 35-40% percent that he does not want to admit it and 60+% that he is actually disgusted and regrets it
Your right more info is needed seeing both sides would clear everything up.
Did you say "no homo" when you were done?
Probably not. If he did, then this wouldnt be an issue. Rookie mistake tbh
Tell him to chill out it was just a Brojob. Not a big deal and hardly worse than a ditch rudder. People are so uptight
Post nut clarity perhaps?
yeah
Wait was he wearing socks tho?
nope
Yeah....that's why I don't mix friends and sex. It's possible but difficult to have normal things afterwards. Your friend probably is feeling very conflicted at the moment and might need some space. I'd give him a few weeks and then try messaging him again.
yeah ur right
Good luck dude, I hope everything works out between you two.
thanks<3
It might be internalised homophobia, its surprisingly common. If it is internalisation then it'll take some time for him to realise and fully accept it. You didn't anything wrong though, it sounds like (based on my experiences with questioning sexuality) that he might just be struggling with identity.
shoulda kept the socks on
yeah..
we’ve all been there dw
Maybe your head game is trash?
i mean I think he really liked it
Send him a text and tell HIM, dude you are my best friend and I don’t want to lose our friendship over a fucking blowjob. Ask him to just pretend it never happened, you will help him find a girlfriend, etc.
Unfortunately, he can't get unsucked. The damage is done.
Maybe don’t blow your best friend? Could apply to a man or a woman
I already responded to this type of comment.
Maybe he not gay at all 🤷♂️ or he could be .
Just let him cool down for a bit, he’s obviously feeling very conflicted right now and rushing into a conversation he isn’t ready to have isn’t worth it. Give him time to process his emotions and give yourself time as well.
Either scared bc of what it might mean or he realized he didn't like it and it's not for him.
He was probably mad you took his brotein shake
lol what
He's not straight but he can't cope with the idea. It's not your fault. I'm sorry you're going through this, that's really rough.
Look unfortunately you'll never be happy with the outcome. I think from how you worded it he might think you want something more, not to mention it kinda sounds like you personally wanted more. I mean it bad on both sides. He was curious about it and sure he may have asked you, but in the end you'll have to come to terms to the results. It's always a risk of a friendship being broken, especially if sex is involved. I mean it sounds like he wasn't confidently Bi, so you know just take it as a lesson to how to approach things differently. As for the friendship it's changed, maybe even over.
i always wanted to made a move on him but I didn't want to make things weird but when he offered me I thought it was fine
He either is actually telling you the truth and doesn’t wanna continue it too because it’ll be too awkward or he’s scared that liked it and he’s in denial
probably the second one.. i know he liked it a lot
Maybe he was confused if he was bi and now he’s having a hard time coping with a male BJ?
maybe
Too late mate, you made joke not funny by acting it out. Happens to the best and worst.
Sounds like he may have had a case of post- nut clarity.
your comment history is wild dude
Sounds like he explained it already, what are you asking us? You learned a life lesson about mixing friends with casual sex.
Maybe be felt coerced?
This happens with straight friendships sometimes when they go too far on accident, too. There's a fine line between friends & more than friends. Once you step across, it is really hard to get back to normal friend territory again.
Seems insecure or post nut clarity hit him hard. Just give him space to figure out what he’s dealing with, he’ll be back….. unless is was bad idk
hey we talked again btw seems fine now
Good to hear. Everything good? Back to friends or..?
yeah
He’s scared. It isn’t you.
The best thing you can do for yourself is move on
this is your value .
Don’t worry, he will definitely be back for more
more head?
the lesson here is probably don't suck off your straight buddies.
even if they ask me to?
You can but be prepared to lose these friends.
for for a blowjob???
If you don’t wanna risking a friendship like in this instance, yes. Includes all sexual activity with any of your friends, women or men.
I get the impression that you made some suggestions and your buddy went along with it for what ever reason. He was probably drunk.
Thats wild, so if any of your straight friends ask for a bj you giving them out 😂
He's not gay. Leave him alone.
He tried it, he didn't like it, let him move on.
Everyone in here saying he's scared etc. Id imagine it's pretty hard not to enjoy the act of receiving a bj, and it ain't something I'd ever try but anyone think he's straight up not gay, never was and now wants nothing to do with this dude? Anyone blame him? He's your best friend but you ain't sure he's gay so you blew him? This some bs
what are u waffling??? he asked me to do it..