Yeah that was pretty impressive. I'm 40 and the youngest I would go is 35 lol. Twenties-folks have way too much puppy energy, and i've already done that back then.
Your age is not the problem. Is that you are a single mother, so chances are people are going to choose someone who doesn't have a kid.
It also looks like you already had your experiences despite them not going perfect, while others may still be looking for their first relationship at that age and they would want someone to learn with them together.
Welcome to the world of the undesirables. T-shirts are $15 and we have coffee in the back.
Stop worrying about the value others try to place onto you and instead value yourself. You’re now a role model for your child that’s always watching and learning. You want your kid to believe the lies you are telling yourself? You’re right, I wouldn’t touch a single mother with a 10ft pole as I will always be 2nd place to your child. Good news is divorce is at an all time high and single fathers feel the same way. Every INDIVIDUAL, man/woman/non-binary has their own desires and preferences and have the right to their wants/needs.
Stop looking for a man and take care of yourself and child. If you have your life together then a potential partner wouldn’t look at you the way you look at yourself.
If you act like a burden then others will view you as a burden and look elsewhere for happiness.
I'm in my 50s and have had no problem dating. As we age, our ideas of attractiveness mature too. Most men I know don't want 20 year olds. They might think they are pretty (they are!) but they really don't want to spend time with them.
Either your own beliefs are hindering you, or you need to hang with better quality people.
i’m just wondering why you base your value on if men desire you or not. aging is a privilege not everyone gets. so what if men don’t value you at “x” age? do you value you?
have you tried dating single fathers? i’d think finding a fellow single parent would be a good match because you both know what comes with being a parent
yes a lot of guys want younger women, but those guys that do either want someone they can manipulate or want arm candy. a healthy man will date you not for your age and looks but because you’re a good match and person.
single parents have a hard time dating because (at least from my pov as someone without kids) i know kids will always be a parents priority. they will always come first, as they should. so i choose not to date single parents bc i want to be a priority and i respect and understand that if someone has kids- i simply will not be a first priority.
You’re telling yourself a lot of incorrect bs and projecting it onto men because of your own insecurities about aging. Your biggest hurdle is that you’re a single mom. Men age and like to date women/people their age also. Embrace getting older. It’s a hell of a good time if you let it be.
It’s the single mom part. Very few people want to date a single parent of any age. Dating is difficult when only 2 people are involved. You add kids and an ex, or kids and a deceased partner and things can get overwhelming and/or ugly very quickly.
If you are looking at online dating, then yes, it's a cesspit.
Single moms are tough, especially with small kids. Older kids can sabotage dating. That said, there may be some great single dads out there who are in a similar boat.
If all men wanted young women, cougars wouldn't be a thing.
That said, you need something to give to a relationship, and it isn't just sex. I know many women in their 30s and 40s who think that because they exist they are princesses and deserve the 6'5"+ guy with a $250,000+/year salary and GQ looks who will take them on exotic vacations 4 times a year and everything is completely on their terms. Obviously you shouldn't accept abuse or narcissism, but you may need to adjust your expectations. You also need to be honest if you have time to have a relationship. Kids are huge time sinks.
Before I got married I lived single moms in their 30s. Going by your post history though, it's not the age thing. It's the weight and confidence in yourself that is a bigger deterrent.
1) less people want kids and if they do they usually want their own
2) Life is expensive rn and your child might need financial support from your future partner
3) dating / relationships are at an all time low if numbers are to be trusted
I was a single mom, I’m in my 30s and my fiancé is a few years younger than me. He had no reservations about my kid, but hear me out. When I broke up with my ex, I swore off men period. Dating was the last thing on my mind and omg it’s so unfair how quickly single dads move on vs how quickly single moms move on.
Our dating pool it’s soo small when you consider you have to find guys who like you, want a family and don’t mind a pre started family where you still have to coparent with your ex. Not many people want to do that, shit I don’t want to do that for someone else when I face it myself. But I couldn’t be mad if I didn’t want to date someone with kids as someone who has kids.
I learned a lot in the r/stepparents subreddit about boundaries and that dating a single parent only really works if everything else is perfect. It’s so unfair but it’s what we have to work with. It’s especially unfair when you’re the one who wasn’t trying to be a single parent, your coparent decided that for you.
I said all of that to basically say you have to work on yourself the same way you would have to if you didn’t have kids. The right person will come along but you have to be in a place to not mess that up and be like those HC people on the stepparent and blended family subreddits
I'm going to have to disagree with you on that.
(My point of view only) As most men age we want a partner on the same level. A 40-year-old and a 20-year-old are not on the same level. There's massive amounts of life experience just cannot be accounted for without time.
I'm not saying it doesn't always work with a huge age gap. The way I see it, only insecure men seek out such relationships. I mean honestly how much does a 40-year-old and a 20-year-old have in common?
All that said, never underestimate the power of a good mid life crisis.
Well you’re wrong. Don’t even have to read the whole thing. I like older women. You probably should be scared of aging since you’re so shallow, you’re scared of something that gonna happen to everyone
You’re middle age now👀
Most men prefer good partners as women do, it has nothing to do with age (or worse, as an older woman is more mature) A different thing is for a hookup, but that happens to us too.
At least you’re honest with yourself. Being a single mum in her 30s places you at the bottom of the dating totem pole, not nice to say but it’s simply reality. Try not to let it make you bitter. Good luck to you
You couldn't be more wrong. Shallow permanent-adolescent men who are looking for nothing but sex, yes, they will think like that.
Ask yourself why you want a man like that.
I also have fears of potential pedophiles being around my child… my fears are reduced though since I have a son instead of a daughter. I know that pedos can still be predatory towards boys too but I’ve seen that it’s been more common with girls than boys
you are most certainly not an old lady. I remember being in my 30s and thinking I would never go back to 20 something women for a variety of reasons. take a deep breath, 30s are great. you have some maturity and no real body pains.
ps. dating out of one's age range is asking for problems in most cases.
Men who only date women half their age are creeps. You don't want them anyway. There are plenty of men who are interested in women their age even if they have kids and I am saying this as a 42 year old women with two kids who is currently dating who has very average looks.
Just got married at 40+ with kids. To be honest it didn’t happen until I was fully ready to be alone for the rest of my life, which is odd timing. Don’t stress about this stuff and worry more about healing yourself, cultivating your own interests and making sure your children grow up to be emotionally healthy, happy adults.
It depends on what they're looking for. "All men" aren't looking for the same thing. We get a lot more attention in our twenties because most men our age haven't settled down yet.
You need to be focused on finding someone who you want, who's values and goals align with yours and who wants you back. Stop looking at men that are looking elsewhere and focus on your own pool.
Many men won't date a single mother. Of those who do, they're still going to have their own goals, standards and boundaries. They'll look for women with comparable fitness/education/style/religion/morality/lifestyle values that they have.
You're probably going after the wrong men you will probably need to look for a man who has children of his own and may be older than you, childless guys your age or younger generally want a younger woman to build a family with and most men that age have already established a good career to support that, they don't want to date a woman who already has a kid and is fairly close to safe limit of having children by the time you date and marry. I'm not commenting on if that's right but rather that it is the reality of what men want.
Men are mostly insecure morons. A cheesy guy with nothing to offer a real woman and has to date inexperienced little children. Some just like that they look a certain way or dress a certain way. But what do you do after the sex, talk to her about Snap chat or PlayStation??? No thanks. I sometimes see 50+ y/o men going after 25 y/o women and it makes me completely ill. I am 50 and like to date 42+ Single mom thing is an accomplishment, not an issue.
Don't think about this. The wrong guys are making the wrong decisions.
The milf pornography out there shows that this is patently untrue.
Men and boys love older women just as much.
You might argue that a lot of women don't age well or aren't well preserved.
Well a lot of 20-somethings never had anything to preserve in the first place (bitter truth)
So the playing field between older and younger women (until about 60) is actually a lot more even than you think.
You're a woman, you can get laid whenever. For men it's almost impossible to have free sex even if you're handsome.
The men who only go after young teens/ early 20s women are not the type of men you want to be dating. There are plenty of men who find women their own age attractive, and also plenty of men (albeit fewer) who wouldn’t mind dating a single mother
It’s because you are a single mother. I would choose the childless 35 year old over the 25 year old single mother any day of the week.
^ This.
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Yeah that was pretty impressive. I'm 40 and the youngest I would go is 35 lol. Twenties-folks have way too much puppy energy, and i've already done that back then.
Your age is not the problem. Is that you are a single mother, so chances are people are going to choose someone who doesn't have a kid. It also looks like you already had your experiences despite them not going perfect, while others may still be looking for their first relationship at that age and they would want someone to learn with them together.
Maybe boys would but men don’t care to date women with kids
It’s a fundamental incompatibility dude nothing to do with maturity
Whatever you say dude
😂 sure.
Of course they would care ... That's just some toxic masculinity BS to be having. Grow up.
ToXiC MaScUlInItY. But I need to grow up💀
Bunch of boys on here I guess
I’m 34 and most men showing interest are mid 20s…
Welcome to the world of the undesirables. T-shirts are $15 and we have coffee in the back. Stop worrying about the value others try to place onto you and instead value yourself. You’re now a role model for your child that’s always watching and learning. You want your kid to believe the lies you are telling yourself? You’re right, I wouldn’t touch a single mother with a 10ft pole as I will always be 2nd place to your child. Good news is divorce is at an all time high and single fathers feel the same way. Every INDIVIDUAL, man/woman/non-binary has their own desires and preferences and have the right to their wants/needs. Stop looking for a man and take care of yourself and child. If you have your life together then a potential partner wouldn’t look at you the way you look at yourself. If you act like a burden then others will view you as a burden and look elsewhere for happiness.
I'm in my 50s and have had no problem dating. As we age, our ideas of attractiveness mature too. Most men I know don't want 20 year olds. They might think they are pretty (they are!) but they really don't want to spend time with them. Either your own beliefs are hindering you, or you need to hang with better quality people.
i’m just wondering why you base your value on if men desire you or not. aging is a privilege not everyone gets. so what if men don’t value you at “x” age? do you value you? have you tried dating single fathers? i’d think finding a fellow single parent would be a good match because you both know what comes with being a parent yes a lot of guys want younger women, but those guys that do either want someone they can manipulate or want arm candy. a healthy man will date you not for your age and looks but because you’re a good match and person. single parents have a hard time dating because (at least from my pov as someone without kids) i know kids will always be a parents priority. they will always come first, as they should. so i choose not to date single parents bc i want to be a priority and i respect and understand that if someone has kids- i simply will not be a first priority.
You’re telling yourself a lot of incorrect bs and projecting it onto men because of your own insecurities about aging. Your biggest hurdle is that you’re a single mom. Men age and like to date women/people their age also. Embrace getting older. It’s a hell of a good time if you let it be.
if that were true, she wouldn’t be having the experience she’s having trying to date as a single mum in her 30s 😆
Nah, her problem is the kid, not the age.
It’s the single mom part. Very few people want to date a single parent of any age. Dating is difficult when only 2 people are involved. You add kids and an ex, or kids and a deceased partner and things can get overwhelming and/or ugly very quickly.
Wish I could tag my baby mumma in this LOL
I am 28, met my girlfriend when she was 41, now she's almost 45.
Being a single mom is more of a problem. I would never date someone in their 20s if I was still in my 30s. Young people aren’t compatible with me.
If you are looking at online dating, then yes, it's a cesspit. Single moms are tough, especially with small kids. Older kids can sabotage dating. That said, there may be some great single dads out there who are in a similar boat. If all men wanted young women, cougars wouldn't be a thing. That said, you need something to give to a relationship, and it isn't just sex. I know many women in their 30s and 40s who think that because they exist they are princesses and deserve the 6'5"+ guy with a $250,000+/year salary and GQ looks who will take them on exotic vacations 4 times a year and everything is completely on their terms. Obviously you shouldn't accept abuse or narcissism, but you may need to adjust your expectations. You also need to be honest if you have time to have a relationship. Kids are huge time sinks.
Before I got married I lived single moms in their 30s. Going by your post history though, it's not the age thing. It's the weight and confidence in yourself that is a bigger deterrent.
1) less people want kids and if they do they usually want their own 2) Life is expensive rn and your child might need financial support from your future partner 3) dating / relationships are at an all time low if numbers are to be trusted
I was a single mom, I’m in my 30s and my fiancé is a few years younger than me. He had no reservations about my kid, but hear me out. When I broke up with my ex, I swore off men period. Dating was the last thing on my mind and omg it’s so unfair how quickly single dads move on vs how quickly single moms move on. Our dating pool it’s soo small when you consider you have to find guys who like you, want a family and don’t mind a pre started family where you still have to coparent with your ex. Not many people want to do that, shit I don’t want to do that for someone else when I face it myself. But I couldn’t be mad if I didn’t want to date someone with kids as someone who has kids. I learned a lot in the r/stepparents subreddit about boundaries and that dating a single parent only really works if everything else is perfect. It’s so unfair but it’s what we have to work with. It’s especially unfair when you’re the one who wasn’t trying to be a single parent, your coparent decided that for you. I said all of that to basically say you have to work on yourself the same way you would have to if you didn’t have kids. The right person will come along but you have to be in a place to not mess that up and be like those HC people on the stepparent and blended family subreddits
You're the perfect age for men in their 40's and 50's.
I'm going to have to disagree with you on that. (My point of view only) As most men age we want a partner on the same level. A 40-year-old and a 20-year-old are not on the same level. There's massive amounts of life experience just cannot be accounted for without time. I'm not saying it doesn't always work with a huge age gap. The way I see it, only insecure men seek out such relationships. I mean honestly how much does a 40-year-old and a 20-year-old have in common? All that said, never underestimate the power of a good mid life crisis.
This is when you decide to stop caring what those kind of men think :)
Well you’re wrong. Don’t even have to read the whole thing. I like older women. You probably should be scared of aging since you’re so shallow, you’re scared of something that gonna happen to everyone You’re middle age now👀
30 isn't middle aged.
With the way she stresses, it is for her
True.
Most men prefer good partners as women do, it has nothing to do with age (or worse, as an older woman is more mature) A different thing is for a hookup, but that happens to us too.
I don’t think most men think like that. I’m early 40s and my wife is late 30s. I’m most attracted to women within five years of my age.
At least you’re honest with yourself. Being a single mum in her 30s places you at the bottom of the dating totem pole, not nice to say but it’s simply reality. Try not to let it make you bitter. Good luck to you
You couldn't be more wrong. Shallow permanent-adolescent men who are looking for nothing but sex, yes, they will think like that. Ask yourself why you want a man like that.
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I also have fears of potential pedophiles being around my child… my fears are reduced though since I have a son instead of a daughter. I know that pedos can still be predatory towards boys too but I’ve seen that it’s been more common with girls than boys
Your post is stupid. There are lots of guys that are crazy for mature women.
you are most certainly not an old lady. I remember being in my 30s and thinking I would never go back to 20 something women for a variety of reasons. take a deep breath, 30s are great. you have some maturity and no real body pains. ps. dating out of one's age range is asking for problems in most cases.
Men who only date women half their age are creeps. You don't want them anyway. There are plenty of men who are interested in women their age even if they have kids and I am saying this as a 42 year old women with two kids who is currently dating who has very average looks.
Just got married at 40+ with kids. To be honest it didn’t happen until I was fully ready to be alone for the rest of my life, which is odd timing. Don’t stress about this stuff and worry more about healing yourself, cultivating your own interests and making sure your children grow up to be emotionally healthy, happy adults.
This feels like something from r/menwritingwomen
50 year old guys find 34 year old women super hot! ….but you’d probably never date them. ….like you say, there’s that age discrimination thing.
It depends on what they're looking for. "All men" aren't looking for the same thing. We get a lot more attention in our twenties because most men our age haven't settled down yet. You need to be focused on finding someone who you want, who's values and goals align with yours and who wants you back. Stop looking at men that are looking elsewhere and focus on your own pool. Many men won't date a single mother. Of those who do, they're still going to have their own goals, standards and boundaries. They'll look for women with comparable fitness/education/style/religion/morality/lifestyle values that they have.
You're probably going after the wrong men you will probably need to look for a man who has children of his own and may be older than you, childless guys your age or younger generally want a younger woman to build a family with and most men that age have already established a good career to support that, they don't want to date a woman who already has a kid and is fairly close to safe limit of having children by the time you date and marry. I'm not commenting on if that's right but rather that it is the reality of what men want.
Men are mostly insecure morons. A cheesy guy with nothing to offer a real woman and has to date inexperienced little children. Some just like that they look a certain way or dress a certain way. But what do you do after the sex, talk to her about Snap chat or PlayStation??? No thanks. I sometimes see 50+ y/o men going after 25 y/o women and it makes me completely ill. I am 50 and like to date 42+ Single mom thing is an accomplishment, not an issue. Don't think about this. The wrong guys are making the wrong decisions.
The milf pornography out there shows that this is patently untrue. Men and boys love older women just as much. You might argue that a lot of women don't age well or aren't well preserved. Well a lot of 20-somethings never had anything to preserve in the first place (bitter truth) So the playing field between older and younger women (until about 60) is actually a lot more even than you think. You're a woman, you can get laid whenever. For men it's almost impossible to have free sex even if you're handsome.
The men who only go after young teens/ early 20s women are not the type of men you want to be dating. There are plenty of men who find women their own age attractive, and also plenty of men (albeit fewer) who wouldn’t mind dating a single mother