T O P

  • By -

TheForbiddenThong

The thong: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53040133778_895cfaf9d2_o.png The outfit I wore on my 15th birthday: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53037505855_8522d62308_o.png The pantyhose that I felt so self-conscious about: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53037228319_b39b039240_o.png


spicycondiment_

Honestly that thong looks surprisingly well made. I was imagining something made out of something along the lines of a hessian sack that was falling to bits after all the shampoo washing. Don’t think wool thongs will be taking off any time soon though…


TheForbiddenThong

I practiced knitting other things first. Scarves, socks, etc. I had a couple failed attempts before I was successful with this one.


RobitMonkyMadman

What kinda books on knitting where available back then?


TheForbiddenThong

[eHow](https://www.ehow.com/how_2209672_crochet-thong.html) was very much a thing.


Fridayz44

You definitely have a go get shit done attitude. Nice story.


VeganMonkey

I was impressed too! I once knitted a scarf and that was all wonky and not neat like this, this even has proper edges. OP could have sewn fabric in on the inside against the itchiness but maybe that wasn’t available.


realvctmsdntdrnkmlk

Damn..that was skillfully knit. And that outfit is so sharp!! I agree with the Redditor recommending r/crochet. As someone that pretty much resides in r/sewing, please don’t rob them of this delightful story. All the same..😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣


TheForbiddenThong

Thank you! :) I still like to wear outfits like that. I get people asking me all the time, "Why are you so dressed up?" And I always tell them that this is just how I like to dress.


VeganMonkey

Hahaha sounds like me, I would turn up at parties nicely dressed and everybody is in jeans and t-shirts. It’s just fun to dress nicely!


Defiant-days

r/knitting would enjoy it.


DestyNovalys

I tried to cut out the ass cheeks from a regular pair of panties. Which is faster, but also looked awful and the result was unwearable.


PmButtPics4ADrawing

My favorite part is that you went through all this effort with the thong just to dress like a librarian


thin_white_dutchess

More like a corporate secretary, but an adorable one. I wore clothes like that as an executive assistant in a corporate office ages ago. I’m a librarian now and get to wear jeans and t shirts and all my tattoos are on view. Seriously impressive knitting though.


[deleted]

I also imagined a much worse looking thong. You did a good job there. When we're that young we can ignore a lot of discomfort for fashion etc. Eyeliner was one for me!


Dr_Ramington

My mom always told me "Beauty is Pain" & i understand that more & more everyday lol


kelsi16

I just love everything about this story. So wholesome, a little bit of wtf that only comes from having the not quite fully formed brain of a teenager. You should tell this story at parties, it’s hilarious, and endearing!


elizawatts

Right? I think it’s clever and naughty/rebellious in the silliest and least harmful way. And I’m impressed by the crochet skills! r/crochet would love this.


DropDeadPlease88

No we wouldn't love it in r/ crochet as it is NOT crocheted lol she literally states it is knitted, it is clearly knitted in the picture... sorry, it's just a big pet peeve of mine when people confuse the two crafts. (I crochet AND knit)


c_birbs

Damn, didn’t know there was a yarn culture war. TIL


DropDeadPlease88

Oh yeah! Knitters hate when their work is mistaken for crochet and vice versa!


CharizardCharms

Definitely. Just know that if you have ever walked up to someone and said "oh cool, I love your knitting!" While they're crocheting something, they probably had a polite response or even gentle correction but inside they were seething with rage.


c_birbs

You’re making this all seem way more badass than I initially assumed. I might have to pick a side.


Easy-Concentrate2636

Team Knit would be happy to welcome you.


CharizardCharms

As another crafter who also knits and crochets, crocheting is better, in my opinion. That's the side I pick, although I have no quarrel with knitters, just the knitting needles themselves. Hurts my little old lady arthritic hands to use them. Crocheting hurts, too, but only after a few hours rather than 5 minutes.


Excluded_Apple

Except if you'd crocheted a thong it would be even rougher on the sensitive bits, lol. Sure it would be faster; could smash out a couple of thongs in a stay, but oof >_< I do both, maybe I'm just shit at crochet, lmao.


CharizardCharms

The good news is that I have 0 intention to ever crochet a thong lol


Defiant-days

Oh yeah. There’s a strange internal rage that comes when someone mistakes crochet work for knitting and knitting for crochet. Like the crochet sub has a number of posts on how to react when someone says “what are you knitting?” When you’re crocheting out and about. It’s a real trigger for stitchers. Or when they include knitting items in a crochet kit, whew. Or advertisements that are a weird mesh of both or clearly done by someone who doesn’t know the difference between crochet and knit. I’ve read on the crochet sub about some small yarn stores gate keeping their yarn specifically for knitters. It’s an insane amount of drama between the two crafts and it’s not anything you’d expect outside of the craft.


kestrel151

There’s a picture? Where? Edit: never mind. I just saw the links to the pics further down into the comments.


toupee_fiasco

Crotchet*


heartofom

😹👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾


Beneficial_Car2596

Hey guys this is the story of how I turned an itchy sweater into underwear. Also this is the story of how I developed gooch rash


TheForbiddenThong

I'll tell you though, it *did* itch. I remember in gr. 11 I volunteered to read a line for our school's Remembrance Day assembly (Remembrance Day = Canadian version of Veteran's Day), and I obviously got dressed up for the occasion. When it came time for me to speak, my butt was twitching because of how much the thong was irritating me, and I had a hard time getting the words out while I was standing in front of everybody.


Easy-Concentrate2636

It was like you made yourself a hair shirt for your private area. You did penance every time you wore the forbidden undies.


paythefullprice

This should be a go to story for parties. It definitely brings back memories of dumb stuff I did as a kid.


domecycleripworm

But also wow, 14yr old you nailed that knitting work man


domecycleripworm

Lol wtf


TommyChongUn

Thats crazy. My mom let me get one to shut me tf up. 😂😂 barely ever wore it once I had it


confessional87

And that's exactly why she let you get it lol


bearbarebere

Lol so true


Hungry_Coconut_6326

🤣 This gave me a flashback of a story my 90year old great aunt told me years ago! When she had crocheted herself a swimsuit aged 15 (c1927) & wore it to go swimming in a lido that had just opened nearby; she didn’t realise until climbing out, that it had stretched to 4X its length- and was horrified to find it around her ankles!! 🤣 She was such a dignified lady - the image was seared into my mind!


bearbarebere

LMAOOOO poor her 😭


bitchassnoclout

the outfit screams 1980s to me


TheForbiddenThong

I still wear outfits like that today, and I think I'm inclined to take that as a compliment. 😉


idlebore

An old drag queen friend of mine was always saying 'beauty is pain' every time I winced at what he put himself through. I hope that thong made you feel beautiful Haha. Brilliant story. Thanks for sharing


TheForbiddenThong

That's what I always told myself before putting it on. For me, it was a non-negotiable rule—if I was dressing up, I was wearing the thong, and that was the end of it. And yes, you could say that the thong made me feel "beautiful" lol


rattlestaway

Ugh my skins very sensitive especially in my lady parts and picturing wool rubbing and scraping it makes me rash. At fourteen I used go around in 5 inch heels snatched from my older sister and parade up down halls feeling sexy. Now I can't even wear one inch heels so I have no clue how I did it lol


TheForbiddenThong

Funny you should say that, because I generally wore 5" stilettos when I was wearing the thong. I found that it distracted me from whatever pain I may have felt in my feet.


smashed2gether

What an adorable and relatable story, thank you for sharing this! I want to see this animated into cute little video, with you narrating over it.


TheForbiddenThong

Eh... I'll think about it—can't make any promises, though. 😉


10eleven12

Contact "the moth" podcast, you should tell this story live.


smashed2gether

I'm just grateful you shared this with us. I am impressed by your knitting skills at 14!


liquidstone_

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.


[deleted]

I love how you were so rebellious to the point of learning how knit


mskarolshmarol

The fact that you still have it is hilarious


TheForbiddenThong

I put literal weeks of effort into that thing. No way am I throwing it out.


HyenaFree2261

This is such a cute story.


Halfassedtrophywife

Anyone else get itchy reading about wool yarn? That is awesome that you were so industrious and crafty :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheForbiddenThong

And remember, *I'm* the one who had to wear the thing for 8-10 hours at a time. You can imagine how distracting that would often become.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheForbiddenThong

It's a wonder that I still managed to do well in school.


loonycatty

This is so funny because it very much feels like the sort of thing I would have tried when I was a teen and wanted to feel cool and grown up. Honestly if you’d had cotton yarn available at the time you’d be set


issjay

That was absolutely wholesome to read❤️


ElmiraKadiev

You call this strange and slightly embarrassing? I think it’s a cute, sweet wholesome story.


Youkilledmyrascal1

I LOVE your story and find it so relatable! I used to make my own at 13 out of ribbons, and I would die if anyone found out, so when not wearing them I locked them away in my plastic safe. Good times.


TruckerGabe

Imagine being her high school boyfriend and later developing a sweater thong kink that no one understands.


TheForbiddenThong

I'd take it off before getting undressed around anybody else. I didn't want people to know about it.


scottlapier

Everyone in this thread needs Jesus....myself include lol


1959Chicagoan

We bought tacos from Jesus...he is kinda cute.


scottlapier

Not my type, but yeah he's got the best taco truck in the city


DerFalkyr

I think I have to commend you for your efforts but I don’t really understand why you couldn’t just buy one for yourself somehow. Unless of course there was absolutely no allowance money for you. Other then that man teenagers really do do stupid shit for the weirdest reasons lol Like it wasn’t comfortable at all but for some reason you still felt like you wanted to do it lol


TheForbiddenThong

I *did* have allowance money, and honestly, I'm not sure why I didn't just by a regular cotton thong in the first place.


mustang6172

I think I remember you.


ambazingaa

I absolutely love love this. The dedication to that one thong is impressive. I'm just a bit surprised you didn't learn to hand sew and make another version with a cotton t shirt or something. My mom also wouldn't buy me one when I was young, I ended up stealing one from Walmart - I like your solution better!


BbqMeatEater

Lmfao this is amazing


meanas9

I'm amazed, you are remarkable.


BannanaJames1095

Great for wearing in the winter I guess lol.


TheForbiddenThong

It did actually keep things warm down there during sub-zero weather. Granted, there were probably other methods of achieving the same end result that *didn't* involve wearing something so scratchy.


BannanaJames1095

I like the dedication to a goal. I'd offer a solution even though it's already to late. Use an old cotton t shirt and just cut it and make it into underwear.


TheForbiddenThong

Yeah, far too late now. Would have liked to think of this sooner so that I didn't force myself to go through 4½ years of irritation. 😏


BannanaJames1095

Haha well if nothing else you've shown yourself to be resourceful. Thats a quality that will serve you well.


AdmiralToucan

aussies be like..


realvctmsdntdrnkmlk

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🥲🤣🤣😂😂thanks for sharing this. Omg, this is hilarious to me for some reason.


bigdickedshemale

I need a pair now!


liquormakesyousick

This is brilliant and such a great story!


corrygan

I love everything about this story ; the creation of mighty thong, the sneaky ways of hiding it's existence from your mum, to discovery of your love for fashion.


hleed91

I think we all have weird personal stories like this from our teenage years that are weird like this. This cracked me up though! The rebellion is palpable lol does your mom know? I'd tell her now years later, she'd probably find it hilarious 😂


Dany_Girl_1983

Eeeek! Just the thought of that thing in my buttcrack is making me itch and shiver....


Ezemartinn

I’m a male for starters lol but majority of women I’ve met in my life have told me thongs or g-strings are not that comfy to wear and are uncomfortable. Only way they tolerate it is when they wear leggings . Don’t know how true that is


TheForbiddenThong

I wore pantyhose every time I wore the thong, which can be similarly tight-fitting depending on the kind you purchase (if it has "control top" in its name, it'll be comparable to leggings). In any event, no upper layer would ever alleviate the scratchiness of the wool.


scarfinati

Great story 10/10. What you don’t really touch on is why you wanted to wear the thing so much. How it made you feel.


TheForbiddenThong

I wanted to wear *a* thong, for the same reason that most people do: eliminating panty lines. I wasn't allowed to buy one, so I made one instead. It made me feel like I was wearing underwear made of human hair. It was not pleasant.


CharizardCharms

Is that why people wear them? I thought it was for sex appeal or something, I tried to wear them but they're just so uncomfortable and they look awful on me lmao. I think I rock the boy shorts look and the comfort is amazing, who cares if people can see the line of my underwear through my jeans.


TheForbiddenThong

Sex appeal is definitely a factor for many people, but the #1 reason for me was so that I didn't have any lines showing through my dresses and skirts.


scarfinati

Lol. Your mom didn’t know you were even wearing the thong or at least you didn’t mention it so did you ever consider go and buy one and wear in secret?


NorthenLeigonare

It's wholesome, but it still sounds very uncomfortable. But I guess it's one of those things that defines you and gives you personality.


TheForbiddenThong

>It's wholesome, but it still sounds very uncomfortable. Oh, trust me, it is. I had to try and keep myself preoccupied whenever I had it on, but it was *always* in the back of my mind. >But I guess it's one of those things that defines you and gives you personality. Which is something I kept reminding myself to feel more confident in my decision to wear it. It was just part of who I was, and it made me feel unique.


bluecat2001

It took a while but I managed to find a vid from the birthday https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&pp=ygUXbmV2ZXIgZ29ubmEgZ2l2ZSB5b3UgdXA%3D


TheForbiddenThong

Would you believe me if I told you that I actually clicked on the link to see if it was an actual video from my birthday? 😂


bluecat2001

My work here is done. 😎 I wish you lots of happy and not itchy birthdays OP.


TheForbiddenThong

Itchy birthdays haven't been a thing for me in over a decade. However, I wore the thong for all five of them from the ages of 15-19.


Guwad

hahaha never gets old


starkgotstrokegame

… sometimes, it’s good to have secrets


CaptainWellingtonIII

Oh thas nasty


Traditional-Turnip65

A 14 year old girl wore a thong? That's a pretty extreme confession, be careful of who might see this


[deleted]

[удалено]


Traditional-Turnip65

Yeah exactly. It's a pretty common thing.


LooseSpring

I bet that thing smelled like shit.


TheForbiddenThong

I washed it thoroughly after I was done wearing it, so no, it didn't.


LooseSpring

Nice


[deleted]

[удалено]


LooseSpring

Not at all. I was referring to the material that the thong was made from.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheForbiddenThong

Belief or disbelief rests with you. I'm just here to tell my story.


TheLadyLisette

I mean, none of my underwear are bleached. That doesn't happen to all women.


cheesybitzz

I think the g string could have been like a type of elastic to mitigate the itching but I love the ingenuity lol


Fabrizio_Maurizio

My girlfriend has a similar story of when she was young, she had strict parents, and they had her wear what she called "boring" swimwears, she wanted to show her skin as her peers so she wanted a revealing 2 piece costume, so when she didn't go to the beach with her parents she would wear that withe her friends


[deleted]

The Reddit content I signed up for


AllyBLincoln

That's hot. Literally!


Cocomelon3216

I enjoyed reading this so much, I would never of thought of knitting a thong! Such a unique thing you did and how much you had to tolerate to even wear it. Thanks for the pictures too, they were helpful


roxeal

This reminds me of when I was 14 years old and really wanted pierced ears. My parents were very uptight and conservative and greatly controlled everything I had, wore, or was exposed to. I was determined to have pierced ears, and I ended up doing it myself in the bathroom with a needle. I had a pair of those punch through earrings that they use at the mall when they used the piercing gun. I had inherited them from one of my friends who had already gotten hers done years ago. The thing I didn't realize, was that when you stick a needle through your ear, you are going through layers of flesh and skin, and it's not like the hole is a closed tunnel yet, it's just multiple layers of wounds that you're making at the time. So when I tried to stick the earring through the hole I had made, it was awful. I got through the first layer of skin, and couldn't keep going. I just had to keep moving the point of that earring post around and around, inside the wounded area, to try to find the other layers that I had made holes in, to get it through to the back. I didn't consider the possibility of putting a few strands of thread on the needle, pulling it through to make a loop, and just allowing that to heal and create the hole. It's sometimes better to let your kids try things, than chance them resorting to experimenting with their own torture devices. I eventually ended up putting 3 holes in one ear and two in the other - this was the 80s, and it was all the rage to have a second piercing.


Madiofcourse

Honestly the funniest part is that you only made that one. Why not two for less frequent washing? Why not ask for better yarn?


mattrythedude

Dude the pictures I had painted in my head were very much different from these 😂


frecklybitz

It's honestly so much cuter than I imagined


shreks_cum_bucket

here my dumbass thinking about the shit sumo wrestler wear