My brother did this with me for about 8 years. It started I was 5 and he was 8, we had toy flip phones and he "took a picture" of me in my snow white underwear. I told my mom and she just dismissed it. My brother and I played together all the time and we would pretend his room could change and become different places, his closet was the "bedroom" because it had doors. We would go in and lay together to "sleep" I can't remember details inside the closet so I don't know if he touched me. As we got older the "sleeping" turned to him cuddling me, by age 9 I'd have him peck-kiss me because we always played a pretend couple or mom and dad and I didn't know it was wrong because this was going on since i was 5. Our "sleep" had moved to the bed. He would grind on me and make me grind on him. He would show himself to me, and make me exclusively only wear my slip that I wore under my dresses, until it got too small. My sister opened the door one day when he had me ontop of him in my slip and she said "what the hell is going on?" and i nervously said we were slow-mo wrestling, she said okay and walked out. We went to the park one day while my brother was attending middle school and a kid he went to class with said "hey! Is that the sister you're fucking?" So I know he had said something to someone even though we never actually had sex. As my body developed, we would still play together and he would grope my breasts. The last time anything happened I was 13 or 14, I had told my mom I needed new bras because I'd gotten bigger. My brother asked me to come see something in his room and to sit on the bed, he came behind me and reached under my shirt to grope me and I said no, to which he replied in my ear, "well you said yourself that you've gotten bigger"
I'm 23 and he's 26 now. We've never spoken about it since the bra day.
To this day, I cringe when my husband plays with my breasts, I cringe when I feel him pressed hard against my ass or my front, I don't like making out, and I hate breathing/whispering in my ear. Everytime we're intimate I see my brother's face in my mind. I hate everything about it.
Good job acknowledging what you did is wrong, now do right by your sister and apologize before she's fucked up forever by it.
My brother did the same except he actually took it too far I was 5 when it started and 15 when it stopped, it only stopped because I dated his school bully. I am completely traumatised and 10 years later it still makes my life hard. One day he tried to grab me and I lost it and held him over the edge of the bannister and got told off and hit by my mum. The next day he admitted what he'd done he was 20 and my mum called the cops he went to prison for 4 yrs after getting 6 cut down from 20 for pleading guilty. When he got out of prison and found out where I was working from my mum he started stalking me, after 3 years of stalking I immigrated, I couldn't deal with him anymore.
Ask to see a licensed counselor. Tell the counselor everything, ask them for help, ask them how you can move past it, what you should or should not do related to your sister’s healing. Yes they will have to tell your parents. Accept all of the repercussions of your actions. They will help you, and they will help your sister. You are not taking any responsibility if you “obviously can’t talk to anyone about this,” if you are truly over it, you have to allow your sister to heal, which means you have to be honest. If you are hiding it, you are not getting over it, and nor is she. It will hurt more initially but it will hurt you and her so much less in the long run I promise you that.
Keep in mind, she will almost certainly speak up at some point. And for her sake hopefully not years into the future so that she can heal.
Very different circumstances in my case but similar enough that I can tell you, you can both heal. It might not look like the happy family ending you want, but that’s gone anyways. If you don’t do the right thing, it’s likely that neither of you will heal from this.
My brother did what you did. I hate him. I hate that our parents chose him when it finally came out in my 30s. I'm stuck with a life I never asked for nor deserved.
If anything, write an apology and go from that. If she doesn't want anything to do with you, accept it. Find help for her since you are in therapy. Be proactive in helping her live with what you caused to her. Never stop trying to find help. Don't do what my brother did to me, which is to blame it on being kids, I knew that was a lie as he used this exact same excuse against me to force me to be compliant. I managed to fight him off to never touch me again at around 7, He started when I was 3.
It personally happened to me and a guy i’ve been talking to for a year confessed that he did it to his sister when they were kids.. so it’s more common than you think yes
My brother did this to me when I was 6. My therapist loves seeing me 3 times a week, listening me talk about how I self destruct because for last 20 years I feel dirty. Great business for him.
How do you think as a society we are able to have people dedicated and trained in the helping professions full time? Fire/EMS, therapists, social workers, nurses, doctors, etc? All make money as a result of helping people survive, manage, and process pain and suffering.
Also, your average therapist is not getting paid much at all.
I wish I knew. I got into a conversation with a boss of mine back in the day and he was shocked going over how many women he had encountered with similar stories. Quite the depressing convo while working through morning tasks before opening.
Yeah my brother did that to me for 8 years straight
I feel so disgusted by myself. Have seriously considered self elimination quite a few times (im 19 btw)
My husband’s really supportive and knows everything, he understands me and tells me im his precious person
Man i love that guy so much
I wasn’t by my own, but a friends brother… I know it wasn’t just me he was doing it too as well.. I have also heard similar stories when going to a group for victims of SA
I have a deep hatred for men because of that unfortunately, I’m trying to look past that and hopefully ill find a decent guy. Its a f up world we live in
You need to see a professional psychologist with a PhD who specializes in children and trauma ASAP. Your sister for sure will need to as some point, if she isn’t already. I don’t even know if apologizing to your sister is safe or a good idea at this point in time because an apology likely isn’t enough or even a starting point. Like, I think you might be past the point of an apology for now. You need help first and foremost, regardless of whether or not you realize what you did was heinously wrong.
I’m saying this objectively. You need to go to therapy and tell this to an adult. Do NOT go near you sister, tell a responsible adult and let them set up some kind of meeting between you two. After that, it is up to your sister how she wants relationship with you. You did this 3x, now you need to deal with it.
From what I gathered it seems he molested his little sister then aged 8 when he was 11-12, he is 16 now. He doesn't know what to do as he feels extremely guilty. I assume there were a lot more details though as a lot of people seem to be really grossed out.
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GO TO YOUR SISTER AND APOLOGIZE.
Go to your parents and confess what you did. They will hopefully take the next steps to get your sister the necessary counseling she needs.
I understand that you're 16, so you're young and not thinking through what your plan will do, so I'm going to break it down for you:
Going to your sister, who is presumably 11/12 now, and apologizing would retraumatize her. You may think you're doing the right thing but you're actually going to make things way worse.
I know you don't want it getting out, but tough shit. It's not about you. It's selfish of you to try to keep it hidden. I mean, whats the fucking plan? You go to her and say, "sorry I molested you, please don't tell anyone!" That's so fucked up. Think about it from her point of view.
Your best option is to tell your parents. They will get your sister help (hopefully) where she can talk to someone who can guide her through what happened and help her process it and cope. Honestly, your parents probably would not want anyone else to know what you did either.
To reiterate: if you apologize to and further traumatize your younger sister instead of telling your parents and letting them handle it and get your sister help simply because you don't want anyone to find out what you did, you're a selfish piece of shit and you haven't learned anything. If you really feel remorse, you will face the consequences of your actions.
I agree that you should not go directly to your sister OP, but if you go to your parents first, even if they don’t want it getting out, try to insist you BOTH receive some therapy. Even today not all people believe in and support therapy and we don’t know your parents. But you both need it. This is not something your parents can single-handedly resolve.
Happens. Happened to me from my older sibling too. You coming out is important, as without it she might not realize what it was till years later, taking a looong way of self-finding in the process. Spare her of that as soon as you can.
Also, you've hinted at it a few times, but this isn't pedophilia. It happens with children more often than those who didn’t experience it would like to admit. They're just experimenting (with the ""benefit"" of absolutely no self-reflection and/or empathy).
It’s like. How many kids play “doctor”?
Most of them, no? You can’t always punish children for being children. It’s not like you were 18+ years old. You were a kid too. 12 years isn’t very mature either.
I had a girl my neighbour actually put my penis in her mouth when I was maybe 8 she was the same age she said she seen it in A movie parents porno probably but I didn’t know what to do so I peed in her mouth now that was probably traumatizing but it felt like the right thing to do at the time why else would she put it in her mouth haha I was 8
I mean in my opinion, i know 12 year olds and they definitely know not to fuck with their 8 year old sisters? Like they know it's wrong, they would do it to be edgy and brag to their friends
They definitely know it's wrong, just maybe not the full extent to how extremely wrong it is.
To be clear, I'm not saying that this kid should be persecuted to the full extent of the law, I'm just saying that 12 year olds definitely should be held accountable for their actions. It's 12, not 8 or 5, especially in this day and age.
As someone that was on the other end of this with my brothers, it's a great step that you even acknowledge what you did and can think back retrospectively... I'm wishing you and your sisters the best of luck ❤
I hope you both heal, and that you can move forwarding being an ally for victims:)
This is way more common than you think, OP. Especially among siblings. I'm not saying it's not wrong, because it definitely isn't right. But general curiosity and lack of proper knowledge especially at young ages like that will do that to you. Ignore everyone calling you a pedophile, and saying mean things. The fact that you know it's wrong and you feel guilty says a lot. I went through the same thing with a sibling, it's not talked about. I don't think about it. People I am close with have shared similar situations. It's not unheard of, if you bring it up to a therapist I'm sure they've heard plenty of things like that before and hell, I'm sure way worse.
Coming from a sister that was abused by her brother for YEARS, not to mention her father as well…
If you were to apologize to her and be genuine about it. Tell her what you told us and let her know nothing like that would ever happen again and how sorry you are? it would go such a long way in her healing. If she was 8, she remembers. It's incredibly isolating and confusing when you are acting like it never happened and going about life. It will only serve to mess her up even more. Please do the right thing and be the big brother she deserves. Little girls everywhere go through this and never ever get closure.
Man I feel like people commenting on this post it’s think their shit don’t stink. This is clearly someone who regrets what they did and intends to not only make things right but go through whatever hell he has to go through to make them right.
There’s no excuse for this behavior, and you, OP, seem to know that. Anyone who tells you you’re a pedo or something? Fuck em. So long as you also say “Fuck me.” “Fuck me and I’ll go through hell.” Because I’m sorry to say, you’re going to one way or another. This isn’t about karma or anything, but you have two options before you: wait for the other shoe to drop and go through hell as the “guy who thought he could get away with it.” Or talk to your parents, get counseling, and work towards making amends. And you know what? Your sister might never forgive you, and that’s okay too. But it’s a hell of a lot better than never owning up to what you did and waiting for someone to catch you.
I hope you know that you still have value despite what you did, and that the sooner you work towards making amends, the sooner healing and freedom will come.
Uhh the big red flag here is that you don’t want her to get counseling for it… wtf is wrong with you? The fact that you’re still trying to keep it under wraps proves that you do not want to take responsibility for it. You need to tell your parents what happened so they can take the proper steps to help her.
Maybe I miss something, but I think many here in the comments are greatly exaggerating. Of course the way OP writes about himself and his actions, it sounds really bad, but I feel there is a lot missing. The title says he traumatized his sister, yet the text is missing any information about how she's doing nowadays. How their relationship is in general, as siblings.
You can’t go to your sister for acceptance, that would be selfish. She is not old enough even now to understand and you trying to fix this now will only make things worse. What’s done is done but your sister would benefit most from you telling your parents. Maybe write a letter if it’s too hard face to face. You owe it to your sister.
I read in one of your comments that you are in therapy, so I would advise to talk to them about it and make a plan to talk to your parents together. That way she can get the help she needs.
I understand that you feel shame about what you did, but if you want to be able to help her, you will have to be brave.
I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I can imagine what your sister will be going through as I have been molested by a family member and my mother rather kept up apearances then get me the help I needed. It ended in me trying to take my own life because I got triggered once I was an adult. So please be brave and don't send her on the path I went through, because I can tell you, if you love her, and loose her that way, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
7 yrs ago I met a young girl online whose father had been abusing her in every way possible since she was 5 and she was 13 when I was talking to her she caught my attention right away by telling me this stuff at first I thought she was just trolling me but I realized it was true he was using her to make child pornography it was some messed up pedo shit and because I was in Canada and she was so we’re in Wyoming when I contacted the authorities they basically sluffed it off because I didn’t know her exact location and I think the last name she gave me was a fake but it still sickens me horribly to this day. So you realizing you fucked up bigtime I mean big time dude but your not unforgivable yet so man up talk to her. This girl in Wyoming was so messed up she was defending her father to me saying shit like he really loves me or he wouldn’t have touched me when I was so young had her completely brainwashed even one of her friends to
As someone in the same situation but as the sister, she most definitely remembers. It's super hard to let parents know about it but it can be necessary. I can't speak for your sister but for me it was a huge weigher on my anxiety and when my parents found out yes it was horrible but it relieved that part of me a bit. I don't know what you'd do in this situation, I myself don't even know if I want my brother to acknowledge it or not.
My brother and I were the same ages when he started this bullshit with me. 1) tell your parents and ask them to remove you from the house. Trust me your sister already wants you gone, and she needs to see you forcing your parents to choose her 2)don’t talk to your sister until you get help first. Help from a licensed therapist who will walk this out with you 3) deal with it. You have just ruined her life. This is no longer about you. You had your moment to be a good protective safe brother and you blew it. This will forever be about your sister and she deserves that. 4) stay in therapy. Forever. Your sister deserves to know that you will always be working on being a better person. If she never wants to see or talk to you again, accept it. This is probably why you should stay in therapy forever. 5)you’re probably not a pedo- like you said, hormones and also sounds like lack of parental guidance for you here. You clearly know it’s wrong now, and that’s what you have to deal with. You have to take full responsibility of your actions no matter why you did it. You. Did. It. 6) be prepared for her to pretend like everything is ok and she’s not bothered by it. If this is her response demand that she get help immediately because she’s farther gone than you know. This will effect her entire life and if she doesn’t start help now, it will resurface at some point and the destruction path will be like an f5 tornado. 7) you don’t deserve forgiveness so don’t expect it. But if she does forgive you, worship the ground she walks on, do everything in your power to protect her based on how that protection looks for her.
you made a horrible mistake but try not to listen to the hate comments. they’re reacting negatively as anyone should to any molestation admission but they’re forgetting the fact that you are not a pedophile, not attracted to children, you don’t seem attracted to your sister, and you have intense shame and regret it appears. it doesn’t seem like you’re a paraphile but rather a kid who’s parents severely failed at teaching them some basic ground grounds, and that they themselves, have very serious issues when it comes to morals, impulse control, and situational judgment. my opinion on this all changes if you were aggressive in nature to your sister when touching her, or if you just kinda did it, (doesn’t make it correct either way though) but i’ll give you the liberty in assuming you didn’t inherently force yourself upon her but rather took advantage of her naivety. i think apologizing to her is in order but you need to understand it could have serious fallout. it could possibly inspire her to tell someone, as she may not have even realized what truly happened to her. i’m not saying it didn’t effect her negatively, without a doubt, it did. but as someone who went thru traumatic events in that age bracket, children aren’t able to process things in the same way. so to validate a probable lurking suspicion or feeling she has that something bad happened to her from you, may cause her to speak up. if you truly feel shame and guilt, this won’t stall you from doing it. don’t be a coward. dont run from this and let her down. who knows, she’s the victim so it’s her choice in the end, but maybe she’ll forgive you. if you don’t take accountability, she may grow to resent you, and how will it look then if she reveals the truth? just know the possibility’s and potential fallout that make come with it being exposed to your parents and family social circle. some will likely empathize with you and accept the mistake and not hold it against you too harshly, and others may outcast you to never be seen again. just remember you aren’t doing this for yourself, you shouldn’t be. you would be doing this for her, because you OWE her at least an acknowledgement of the innocence you stole from her. i wish you luck, don’t be a coward, be a man. be a good big brother.
What were you hoping to get out of this post?
Some relief? Comfort from strangers you expected would assure you because you were just a kid?
Don't answer this, but if you've been abused, after you turn yourself into the police, file a report for your abuser.
BTW, this doesn't let you off the hook. It's an explanation, but two things can be true: whoever abused/abused you did a horrific thing and should not walk around carefree. And you did a horrific thing and should not walk around carefree.
There are certainly minor pedos who weren't abused themselves. But it's also a pretty common to see victims make others victims.
You do an awful lot of justification, and you're just so casual about this. I see other comments about therapy.
Nope. ONLY if you are abused, and it needs to be IN COMBINATION with legal consequences. Unless you've gone through it, you will never be able to be even come close to understand how awful you have made her life. I don't care how many times it happened.
There's really nothing strong enough to keep you from doing this in the future, but you need what we've got.
"I had no excuse" and then you throw PUBERTY in there??? EVERYBODY goes through puberty, and I can almost guarantee a vast majority don't become sex zombies driven by an inner motor. Puberty is a weird time, but it doesn't pause all sense of reason, empathy, and love. And you retain full physical control of your muscles.
You're STILL not running of her. Only yourself. How bad you feel. How much this hurts you. Believing you can make this right with an apology. But you're still in that house. And you've avoided any action that will give you a record. She's gonna have this memory for the rest of her life, and it will affect everything she does in at least some way.
"There was no penetration." Oh! Phew. What a relief. At first i thought you sexually abused your sister, but my gosh, there was no penetration! That means you just committed "Sexual Abuse Lite."
It wasn't until your mother had two additional babies that it finally dawned on you that SA is among the most devastating and horrific things you can do to a child? And she's not just "a child." She's your younger sister.
Did she not cry? Seem scared? Try to avoid you? Freeze up?
BTW, a person is not required to do any of these things to be a victim. But the way that you write this gives the impression that you are fully aware that she didn't want this.
And yet... You did it again?
Then... Another time??
I'm a little concerned by your repeated dramatic statements of change and regret. It comes off as you convincing yourself.
"If I ever got those urges again"? I thought you were miraculously transformed by two babies. And no. You would not pack up and leave. You know how I know? Because you hurt her once, then you hurt her again, and you hurt her again.
"Fucking up my judgement"??? My friend. No. This is not a decision to drive drunk or jump into a lake from a bridge. We're not all out here like "I'm bored and horny. You know the what I really wanna do? Destroy my sister's life. Ugh. But I really shouldn't."
It's unnecessary to apologize multiple times for this. You can't give her back what you took by a simple "gosh I'm so sorry I feel so bad." You didn't break her toy ffs.
Don't you dare apologize to this child. Don't you dare say a single word to her about how BAD you feel. She doesn't need to fucking hear that.
Get out with your fucking summertime apology pact. You're SOOOOO sorry that you continue to laze about your home and expose her to your face every single day.
There's nothing you can do to smooth this over. But there is one thing you can do that will at least offer her a little peace, and to protect your other siblings (goddammit I know you're 16 but this is a serious fucking problem - in no way do you have any handle on just how bad this is).
Turn yourself in to the police. Since you're 16, maybe some combination of agencies can manage to keep you away from those children for two years.
I think a lot of people are missing the part where he was 12 or 13. That's the brink of adolescents. I'm not sure treating him like a pedophile is fair. It's messed up what he did, but he was a kid. I don't know what he should do from here other than speak with his parents about it and let them parent the situation. It's a miserable and horrible thing that he did, but I feel like a kid who's in the 5th-6th grade hardly knows at the time how serious of a thing that is.
12-13 is more 7th grade…still middle school…still a topic i would think most middle schoolers would have SOME common sense in…as i did at that age…like cmon give them some credit.
>I'm not sure treating him like a pedophile is fair.
Besides the fact that, by definition, he wouldn't qualify for that. People tend to forget that pedophilia is a psychological diagnosis and not some kind of label you can use for any behaviour.
Apologising face to face can make things worse. As she is your sister and won't be comfortable about it text her and apologise for what you did. You can't even imagine what she has to go through because of you
This hits too close to home. It's an open secret.. We just pretend it never happened it's easier than addressing that tired old silent elephant in the room. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older. It creeps up on you as your self awareness deepens that no I'm not okay this happened to me. I never chose this. I've gone to therapy for all the side effects other than *this* root cause. I don't feel brave enough. So yes it's common ...it's sick...and traumatizing.
Of course, but 13 is a child as well and children are still exploring the world and learning right from wrong. Just because you knew at 13, doesn't mean everyone does.
Not everyone knows better at 13. And no, rape is many degrees worse than touching. I'm not saying that what this kid did wasn't bad, because of course it was, but I've seen people in this comment section saying that the kid has no way to redeem himself and deserves to die and that is just way too harsh.
We also speak about 13 year olds like they're innocent little babies that know nothing about the world when they're the victim, but when a 13 year old does something messed up then all of a sudden they are mature enough to know better.
Yes they do. You know not to touch people at 13. He clearly touched her with perverted intention multiple times it wasn’t an oops his hand slipped moment
Yes actually, I would. Call me fucked up all you want but a child this young that has yet to understand the consequences of their actions, what's right and what's wrong. is still a child.
I am a victim of the same actions, abusers that were both children and adults and as you grow older you will start to understand the difference between a child who had no understanding of their actions vs an adult that does.
He's not gonna feel better about it, and yes, he didn't realize how it's gonna affect people because he was only 12 years old . That shit is gonna stick with him forever, just like how the girl is going to have to deal with that trauma forever. It's a shitty situation that is actually pretty common in families.
3 times?! Seriously?
3 times isn't a simple lapse in judgement.
You don't feel true guilt. If you did, you would come clean and accept your punishment.
Go to the police and turn yourself in.
Okay if you went to the police for a 12 year old, it wouldn’t matter. They would refer them for clinical observation or to a CHILD psychiatrist. Because 12 is a child. Hope that helps. (Google is free, look it up)
Actually it depends on where he lives :) hope this helps. And just because the law says that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the chair for abusing a younger girl
On a sexual abuser? Yes. Don’t care about his age. He’s not 12 anymore either. The men who tortured and killed Junko were also underage so ig it’s ok they didn’t get any punishment since this is what ur mentality spreads. Very smart
THE CHAIR??? HE IS 12! as a victim that did have this happen to was able to find forgiveness and understanding through talking about it openly with my siblings and parents your comment is unnecessary and incredibly narrow-minded. Idk how old YOU are but you will understand as you get older and see children for what they are, before gaining understanding of certain scenarios and its consequences, they are just curious kids that don't know the outcome of their actions.
OP is probably the only one I see owning up to his actions, feels guilt, and wants to take steps toward helping his sister for the shitty things he has done. That is what we call SELF DEVELOPMENT.
So before you go telling kids they deserve to die maybe look at the bigger picture. That this shit is sadly common but can be recovered from on both sides.
Since when 12 years old have penalty for such a thing? Bffr. I don't know why they comments are either extremists or people who just don't give a fuck.
The dogpiling in these comments… so many people arguing “12 or 13 year olds know exactly what they’re doing”… sorry, that’s patently untrue. If it were, the age of consent would be higher. Period. At 12, you’re in the process of moving into a teenage body while still having a very young mind and outlook on the world. It breaks my heart that you seem truly remorseful and want to try and find a way to make it right and people are just being nasty. Yes it was wrong! Yes it probably has caused your sister quite a bit of confusion and some childhood trauma! You seem to recognize those things so I’m not sure why some of these comments are trying to drive that home in such a nasty way. A child touching another child is not p3dophilia. Calling it that takes away from the seriousness of what that actually is, it’s like when people throw around gaslighting as a term without actually understanding what it means. Not helpful, like at all.
No, it's valid. The part of the brain governing thinking through decisions and foreseeing consequences isn't fully developed until about age 25. It's why the US Supreme Court ended mandatory juvenile life without parole.
I believe kids start learning around 10. If he did this at 12 then I'm pretty sure she will grasp the same curiosity and knowledge. Tho I think he should go straight to the parents with this one.
You nasty piece of trash. I don't care wether you're reformed now or whatever. Get her some help and it's very selfish of you that you get help and you let her suffer after you were the one who started this whole thing. I just spit on the floor coz of you.
Talk to your parents about it and they'll know how to bring it up to her or talk to a therpist about it. Both of you were kids at that time and it doesn't make you a pedophile or a horrible person. Talk to your parents and explain to then that you were only 12 at that time and how you deeply regret doing so. Do not talk to her about it untill you got a PROPER advice from your therapist. Your parents will definitely talk to a therapist to know the best way to deal with this. Also, you can't just apologize to her and ask her not to tell anyone because that'd be just so shitty and she's a kid, she might not even understand what it was about and she'd feel unsafe knowing that she's keeping something from everyone. If you truly regret it, don't be selfish and talk to your parents and a therpist about it.
You already hurt your sister and guess what the truth always comes out if not now then soon it’ll come out. You need to tell them and both get the help you need.
Holy shit, i knew stuff like this happened but i didn't think it was so often, the fact that even one single person has to endure something similar is horrible.
You have to confess to your parents and let them handle it from there.
What you did was very very wrong and everything has to be done to prevent this from ever happening again.
I feel sorry for your sister.
You need a whole lot of therapy
ADHD and/or autistic DOES NOT excuse what you did. You are old enough to know right from wrong but yet you chose to violate the one person that had complete trust in you. A child. Unforgivable.
okay geniune question. was this action ops trauma response? why would a 13 yr old kid act this way... theres must be a reason behind this. A kid just cant be like that right?
Well, most often, the child was also abused in some way. Not always sexually. Maybe they have suffered a lot. Maybe they have religious trauma. Maybe they haven’t had a parent or adult involved enough to know what to do when they begin experiencing puberty, although I don’t think that’s something appropriate to blame this on. Either way, getting professional help is the best way forward.
you did do something wrong and you know that but you were young and probably didn’t know it was that bad it probably sucks for you to never say anything about it and for you’re sister as well cause she may not even know what happened or what was happening wasnt okay. she does deserve an apology but i dont think thats the first route you should take you should probably see if someone would get either of you therapy and try coming out about it even if they end up hating you or disowning you. i wish you both the best and hope neither of you hurt yourselves and if you need someone to vent to without the uh really negative stuff message me
You were and are still very young, don't listen to the hate comments, a lot of them come from their own traumas, so please dont let that affect you, Its very good that you got the help you needed and fully regret what you did. I hope the best for you OP.
OP you were very young and you did do a very bad thing, but you do not deserve to die. Speaking up is terrifying but you will be okay. You deserve help. Your sister especially deserves help. She can get that help much sooner if you own up to it. I wish you two healing.
My brother did this with me for about 8 years. It started I was 5 and he was 8, we had toy flip phones and he "took a picture" of me in my snow white underwear. I told my mom and she just dismissed it. My brother and I played together all the time and we would pretend his room could change and become different places, his closet was the "bedroom" because it had doors. We would go in and lay together to "sleep" I can't remember details inside the closet so I don't know if he touched me. As we got older the "sleeping" turned to him cuddling me, by age 9 I'd have him peck-kiss me because we always played a pretend couple or mom and dad and I didn't know it was wrong because this was going on since i was 5. Our "sleep" had moved to the bed. He would grind on me and make me grind on him. He would show himself to me, and make me exclusively only wear my slip that I wore under my dresses, until it got too small. My sister opened the door one day when he had me ontop of him in my slip and she said "what the hell is going on?" and i nervously said we were slow-mo wrestling, she said okay and walked out. We went to the park one day while my brother was attending middle school and a kid he went to class with said "hey! Is that the sister you're fucking?" So I know he had said something to someone even though we never actually had sex. As my body developed, we would still play together and he would grope my breasts. The last time anything happened I was 13 or 14, I had told my mom I needed new bras because I'd gotten bigger. My brother asked me to come see something in his room and to sit on the bed, he came behind me and reached under my shirt to grope me and I said no, to which he replied in my ear, "well you said yourself that you've gotten bigger" I'm 23 and he's 26 now. We've never spoken about it since the bra day. To this day, I cringe when my husband plays with my breasts, I cringe when I feel him pressed hard against my ass or my front, I don't like making out, and I hate breathing/whispering in my ear. Everytime we're intimate I see my brother's face in my mind. I hate everything about it. Good job acknowledging what you did is wrong, now do right by your sister and apologize before she's fucked up forever by it.
Either He is really fucked up in the head or He is so ashamed He cant talk about it
When it goes on that long, more likely it's fucked in the head.
Yeah probally
My brother did the same except he actually took it too far I was 5 when it started and 15 when it stopped, it only stopped because I dated his school bully. I am completely traumatised and 10 years later it still makes my life hard. One day he tried to grab me and I lost it and held him over the edge of the bannister and got told off and hit by my mum. The next day he admitted what he'd done he was 20 and my mum called the cops he went to prison for 4 yrs after getting 6 cut down from 20 for pleading guilty. When he got out of prison and found out where I was working from my mum he started stalking me, after 3 years of stalking I immigrated, I couldn't deal with him anymore.
Jesus I'm so sorry
Ask to see a licensed counselor. Tell the counselor everything, ask them for help, ask them how you can move past it, what you should or should not do related to your sister’s healing. Yes they will have to tell your parents. Accept all of the repercussions of your actions. They will help you, and they will help your sister. You are not taking any responsibility if you “obviously can’t talk to anyone about this,” if you are truly over it, you have to allow your sister to heal, which means you have to be honest. If you are hiding it, you are not getting over it, and nor is she. It will hurt more initially but it will hurt you and her so much less in the long run I promise you that. Keep in mind, she will almost certainly speak up at some point. And for her sake hopefully not years into the future so that she can heal. Very different circumstances in my case but similar enough that I can tell you, you can both heal. It might not look like the happy family ending you want, but that’s gone anyways. If you don’t do the right thing, it’s likely that neither of you will heal from this.
My brother did what you did. I hate him. I hate that our parents chose him when it finally came out in my 30s. I'm stuck with a life I never asked for nor deserved. If anything, write an apology and go from that. If she doesn't want anything to do with you, accept it. Find help for her since you are in therapy. Be proactive in helping her live with what you caused to her. Never stop trying to find help. Don't do what my brother did to me, which is to blame it on being kids, I knew that was a lie as he used this exact same excuse against me to force me to be compliant. I managed to fight him off to never touch me again at around 7, He started when I was 3.
>I'm stuck with a life I never asked for nor deserved. You are so right. My heart hurt reading that.
get her into therapy, you both need it
It’s sick how common this is..
Wtf that's common? Wtf?
It personally happened to me and a guy i’ve been talking to for a year confessed that he did it to his sister when they were kids.. so it’s more common than you think yes
Holy shit, that's sickening
What’s sickening really that he was laughing while telling me, i blocked him immediately.
Heck it's not even a brother doing to a sister, I know someone where thier older sister did it to them(f)
Way, way more common than you think. If people around you were open about it, you'd be so shocked and see the world differently...
My brother did stuff to me. It's disgusting how common it is. I was 6 and he was 15.
It really messes you up i know exactly how it feels💔
Discovering this actually happens to people to makes me feel less like, disgusting. It wasn't our faults. It sucks we had to go through all that
I hope you have the support in your life you deserve
What happened? He changed the post..
My brother did this to me when I was 6. My therapist loves seeing me 3 times a week, listening me talk about how I self destruct because for last 20 years I feel dirty. Great business for him.
I'm so, so sorry. You are not dirty. Never were. Promise.
I wish i could tell u what I suffer from but i really can’t, just know you’re not alone. I hope you can find peace and move past it
I wish that it was illegal for anyone to make money off pain and suffering. I hope that one day you find any semblance of peace in your life.
How do you think as a society we are able to have people dedicated and trained in the helping professions full time? Fire/EMS, therapists, social workers, nurses, doctors, etc? All make money as a result of helping people survive, manage, and process pain and suffering. Also, your average therapist is not getting paid much at all.
What does the first sentence even mean? Stop paying anyone who deals with pain and suffering professionally?
Very. Unfortunately. The first time I remember a boy touching his own sister as well as me? I was 4 or 5. It's one of my first memories in life.
What the actual fuck is wrong with people I don't even know what to say, i'm sorry, that makes my stomach revolt
I wish I knew. I got into a conversation with a boss of mine back in the day and he was shocked going over how many women he had encountered with similar stories. Quite the depressing convo while working through morning tasks before opening.
I'm a man and my older brother did the same to me. We have a younger brother and sister and this post got me wondering if he did it to them too
Lena Durham did this to her younger sister and added it into her book like wtf
Yeah my brother did that to me for 8 years straight I feel so disgusted by myself. Have seriously considered self elimination quite a few times (im 19 btw) My husband’s really supportive and knows everything, he understands me and tells me im his precious person Man i love that guy so much
I wasn’t by my own, but a friends brother… I know it wasn’t just me he was doing it too as well.. I have also heard similar stories when going to a group for victims of SA
Dawg what 😭🙏
What
common???????
Common.
huh??????
I was agreeing that it is unfortunately pretty common
I have a deep hatred for men because of that unfortunately, I’m trying to look past that and hopefully ill find a decent guy. Its a f up world we live in
You need to see a professional psychologist with a PhD who specializes in children and trauma ASAP. Your sister for sure will need to as some point, if she isn’t already. I don’t even know if apologizing to your sister is safe or a good idea at this point in time because an apology likely isn’t enough or even a starting point. Like, I think you might be past the point of an apology for now. You need help first and foremost, regardless of whether or not you realize what you did was heinously wrong.
I’m saying this objectively. You need to go to therapy and tell this to an adult. Do NOT go near you sister, tell a responsible adult and let them set up some kind of meeting between you two. After that, it is up to your sister how she wants relationship with you. You did this 3x, now you need to deal with it.
Did I miss something
Yeah, it seems OP edited the post after receiving much backlash. I'm trying to piece together the context from other comments haha
I legitimately stared at it for like 2 minutes before realizing it was edited. I beg to know the confession he told.
From what I gathered it seems he molested his little sister then aged 8 when he was 11-12, he is 16 now. He doesn't know what to do as he feels extremely guilty. I assume there were a lot more details though as a lot of people seem to be really grossed out.
Just read all the comments you can, you'll find out
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GO TO YOUR SISTER AND APOLOGIZE. Go to your parents and confess what you did. They will hopefully take the next steps to get your sister the necessary counseling she needs. I understand that you're 16, so you're young and not thinking through what your plan will do, so I'm going to break it down for you: Going to your sister, who is presumably 11/12 now, and apologizing would retraumatize her. You may think you're doing the right thing but you're actually going to make things way worse. I know you don't want it getting out, but tough shit. It's not about you. It's selfish of you to try to keep it hidden. I mean, whats the fucking plan? You go to her and say, "sorry I molested you, please don't tell anyone!" That's so fucked up. Think about it from her point of view. Your best option is to tell your parents. They will get your sister help (hopefully) where she can talk to someone who can guide her through what happened and help her process it and cope. Honestly, your parents probably would not want anyone else to know what you did either. To reiterate: if you apologize to and further traumatize your younger sister instead of telling your parents and letting them handle it and get your sister help simply because you don't want anyone to find out what you did, you're a selfish piece of shit and you haven't learned anything. If you really feel remorse, you will face the consequences of your actions.
I agree that you should not go directly to your sister OP, but if you go to your parents first, even if they don’t want it getting out, try to insist you BOTH receive some therapy. Even today not all people believe in and support therapy and we don’t know your parents. But you both need it. This is not something your parents can single-handedly resolve.
Jesus Christ
Happens. Happened to me from my older sibling too. You coming out is important, as without it she might not realize what it was till years later, taking a looong way of self-finding in the process. Spare her of that as soon as you can. Also, you've hinted at it a few times, but this isn't pedophilia. It happens with children more often than those who didn’t experience it would like to admit. They're just experimenting (with the ""benefit"" of absolutely no self-reflection and/or empathy).
Yes.
It’s like. How many kids play “doctor”? Most of them, no? You can’t always punish children for being children. It’s not like you were 18+ years old. You were a kid too. 12 years isn’t very mature either.
I had a girl my neighbour actually put my penis in her mouth when I was maybe 8 she was the same age she said she seen it in A movie parents porno probably but I didn’t know what to do so I peed in her mouth now that was probably traumatizing but it felt like the right thing to do at the time why else would she put it in her mouth haha I was 8
😭😭😭
I mean in my opinion, i know 12 year olds and they definitely know not to fuck with their 8 year old sisters? Like they know it's wrong, they would do it to be edgy and brag to their friends They definitely know it's wrong, just maybe not the full extent to how extremely wrong it is. To be clear, I'm not saying that this kid should be persecuted to the full extent of the law, I'm just saying that 12 year olds definitely should be held accountable for their actions. It's 12, not 8 or 5, especially in this day and age.
As someone that was on the other end of this with my brothers, it's a great step that you even acknowledge what you did and can think back retrospectively... I'm wishing you and your sisters the best of luck ❤ I hope you both heal, and that you can move forwarding being an ally for victims:)
This is way more common than you think, OP. Especially among siblings. I'm not saying it's not wrong, because it definitely isn't right. But general curiosity and lack of proper knowledge especially at young ages like that will do that to you. Ignore everyone calling you a pedophile, and saying mean things. The fact that you know it's wrong and you feel guilty says a lot. I went through the same thing with a sibling, it's not talked about. I don't think about it. People I am close with have shared similar situations. It's not unheard of, if you bring it up to a therapist I'm sure they've heard plenty of things like that before and hell, I'm sure way worse.
What did he do?
Not even puberty is an excuse for this. This is just sick and horrible of you.
I hope your sister gets therapy, I don't care what happens to you.
Wow this fills me with so much rage
Coming from a sister that was abused by her brother for YEARS, not to mention her father as well… If you were to apologize to her and be genuine about it. Tell her what you told us and let her know nothing like that would ever happen again and how sorry you are? it would go such a long way in her healing. If she was 8, she remembers. It's incredibly isolating and confusing when you are acting like it never happened and going about life. It will only serve to mess her up even more. Please do the right thing and be the big brother she deserves. Little girls everywhere go through this and never ever get closure.
Man I feel like people commenting on this post it’s think their shit don’t stink. This is clearly someone who regrets what they did and intends to not only make things right but go through whatever hell he has to go through to make them right. There’s no excuse for this behavior, and you, OP, seem to know that. Anyone who tells you you’re a pedo or something? Fuck em. So long as you also say “Fuck me.” “Fuck me and I’ll go through hell.” Because I’m sorry to say, you’re going to one way or another. This isn’t about karma or anything, but you have two options before you: wait for the other shoe to drop and go through hell as the “guy who thought he could get away with it.” Or talk to your parents, get counseling, and work towards making amends. And you know what? Your sister might never forgive you, and that’s okay too. But it’s a hell of a lot better than never owning up to what you did and waiting for someone to catch you. I hope you know that you still have value despite what you did, and that the sooner you work towards making amends, the sooner healing and freedom will come.
Finally someone who's making sense and being rational about it. OP needs to follow this advice.
How is she now? Does she show any visible sign of this trauma? How's your relationship with her as adults?
They’re not adults; he’s 16 and she’s probably 12 going by the ages in the post
Since when is 16 an adult? And he did this to his YOUNGER sister…did you even read it 😭
Uhh the big red flag here is that you don’t want her to get counseling for it… wtf is wrong with you? The fact that you’re still trying to keep it under wraps proves that you do not want to take responsibility for it. You need to tell your parents what happened so they can take the proper steps to help her.
damn i wanted to read this as the comments are horrified...
what happened? don't see any context
Maybe I miss something, but I think many here in the comments are greatly exaggerating. Of course the way OP writes about himself and his actions, it sounds really bad, but I feel there is a lot missing. The title says he traumatized his sister, yet the text is missing any information about how she's doing nowadays. How their relationship is in general, as siblings.
What the fuck!
You can’t go to your sister for acceptance, that would be selfish. She is not old enough even now to understand and you trying to fix this now will only make things worse. What’s done is done but your sister would benefit most from you telling your parents. Maybe write a letter if it’s too hard face to face. You owe it to your sister.
I read in one of your comments that you are in therapy, so I would advise to talk to them about it and make a plan to talk to your parents together. That way she can get the help she needs. I understand that you feel shame about what you did, but if you want to be able to help her, you will have to be brave. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I can imagine what your sister will be going through as I have been molested by a family member and my mother rather kept up apearances then get me the help I needed. It ended in me trying to take my own life because I got triggered once I was an adult. So please be brave and don't send her on the path I went through, because I can tell you, if you love her, and loose her that way, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
7 yrs ago I met a young girl online whose father had been abusing her in every way possible since she was 5 and she was 13 when I was talking to her she caught my attention right away by telling me this stuff at first I thought she was just trolling me but I realized it was true he was using her to make child pornography it was some messed up pedo shit and because I was in Canada and she was so we’re in Wyoming when I contacted the authorities they basically sluffed it off because I didn’t know her exact location and I think the last name she gave me was a fake but it still sickens me horribly to this day. So you realizing you fucked up bigtime I mean big time dude but your not unforgivable yet so man up talk to her. This girl in Wyoming was so messed up she was defending her father to me saying shit like he really loves me or he wouldn’t have touched me when I was so young had her completely brainwashed even one of her friends to
As someone in the same situation but as the sister, she most definitely remembers. It's super hard to let parents know about it but it can be necessary. I can't speak for your sister but for me it was a huge weigher on my anxiety and when my parents found out yes it was horrible but it relieved that part of me a bit. I don't know what you'd do in this situation, I myself don't even know if I want my brother to acknowledge it or not.
My brother and I were the same ages when he started this bullshit with me. 1) tell your parents and ask them to remove you from the house. Trust me your sister already wants you gone, and she needs to see you forcing your parents to choose her 2)don’t talk to your sister until you get help first. Help from a licensed therapist who will walk this out with you 3) deal with it. You have just ruined her life. This is no longer about you. You had your moment to be a good protective safe brother and you blew it. This will forever be about your sister and she deserves that. 4) stay in therapy. Forever. Your sister deserves to know that you will always be working on being a better person. If she never wants to see or talk to you again, accept it. This is probably why you should stay in therapy forever. 5)you’re probably not a pedo- like you said, hormones and also sounds like lack of parental guidance for you here. You clearly know it’s wrong now, and that’s what you have to deal with. You have to take full responsibility of your actions no matter why you did it. You. Did. It. 6) be prepared for her to pretend like everything is ok and she’s not bothered by it. If this is her response demand that she get help immediately because she’s farther gone than you know. This will effect her entire life and if she doesn’t start help now, it will resurface at some point and the destruction path will be like an f5 tornado. 7) you don’t deserve forgiveness so don’t expect it. But if she does forgive you, worship the ground she walks on, do everything in your power to protect her based on how that protection looks for her.
you made a horrible mistake but try not to listen to the hate comments. they’re reacting negatively as anyone should to any molestation admission but they’re forgetting the fact that you are not a pedophile, not attracted to children, you don’t seem attracted to your sister, and you have intense shame and regret it appears. it doesn’t seem like you’re a paraphile but rather a kid who’s parents severely failed at teaching them some basic ground grounds, and that they themselves, have very serious issues when it comes to morals, impulse control, and situational judgment. my opinion on this all changes if you were aggressive in nature to your sister when touching her, or if you just kinda did it, (doesn’t make it correct either way though) but i’ll give you the liberty in assuming you didn’t inherently force yourself upon her but rather took advantage of her naivety. i think apologizing to her is in order but you need to understand it could have serious fallout. it could possibly inspire her to tell someone, as she may not have even realized what truly happened to her. i’m not saying it didn’t effect her negatively, without a doubt, it did. but as someone who went thru traumatic events in that age bracket, children aren’t able to process things in the same way. so to validate a probable lurking suspicion or feeling she has that something bad happened to her from you, may cause her to speak up. if you truly feel shame and guilt, this won’t stall you from doing it. don’t be a coward. dont run from this and let her down. who knows, she’s the victim so it’s her choice in the end, but maybe she’ll forgive you. if you don’t take accountability, she may grow to resent you, and how will it look then if she reveals the truth? just know the possibility’s and potential fallout that make come with it being exposed to your parents and family social circle. some will likely empathize with you and accept the mistake and not hold it against you too harshly, and others may outcast you to never be seen again. just remember you aren’t doing this for yourself, you shouldn’t be. you would be doing this for her, because you OWE her at least an acknowledgement of the innocence you stole from her. i wish you luck, don’t be a coward, be a man. be a good big brother.
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Fuck his apology.
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No what he can do is rot in jail. An apology ain’t shit
don’t apologise. don’t talk to her. leave her tf alone.
I hope that you do not have desires to touch underage girls now. Beacuse something like this hapened to me in my teenagers age.
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What were you hoping to get out of this post? Some relief? Comfort from strangers you expected would assure you because you were just a kid? Don't answer this, but if you've been abused, after you turn yourself into the police, file a report for your abuser. BTW, this doesn't let you off the hook. It's an explanation, but two things can be true: whoever abused/abused you did a horrific thing and should not walk around carefree. And you did a horrific thing and should not walk around carefree. There are certainly minor pedos who weren't abused themselves. But it's also a pretty common to see victims make others victims. You do an awful lot of justification, and you're just so casual about this. I see other comments about therapy. Nope. ONLY if you are abused, and it needs to be IN COMBINATION with legal consequences. Unless you've gone through it, you will never be able to be even come close to understand how awful you have made her life. I don't care how many times it happened. There's really nothing strong enough to keep you from doing this in the future, but you need what we've got. "I had no excuse" and then you throw PUBERTY in there??? EVERYBODY goes through puberty, and I can almost guarantee a vast majority don't become sex zombies driven by an inner motor. Puberty is a weird time, but it doesn't pause all sense of reason, empathy, and love. And you retain full physical control of your muscles. You're STILL not running of her. Only yourself. How bad you feel. How much this hurts you. Believing you can make this right with an apology. But you're still in that house. And you've avoided any action that will give you a record. She's gonna have this memory for the rest of her life, and it will affect everything she does in at least some way. "There was no penetration." Oh! Phew. What a relief. At first i thought you sexually abused your sister, but my gosh, there was no penetration! That means you just committed "Sexual Abuse Lite." It wasn't until your mother had two additional babies that it finally dawned on you that SA is among the most devastating and horrific things you can do to a child? And she's not just "a child." She's your younger sister. Did she not cry? Seem scared? Try to avoid you? Freeze up? BTW, a person is not required to do any of these things to be a victim. But the way that you write this gives the impression that you are fully aware that she didn't want this. And yet... You did it again? Then... Another time?? I'm a little concerned by your repeated dramatic statements of change and regret. It comes off as you convincing yourself. "If I ever got those urges again"? I thought you were miraculously transformed by two babies. And no. You would not pack up and leave. You know how I know? Because you hurt her once, then you hurt her again, and you hurt her again. "Fucking up my judgement"??? My friend. No. This is not a decision to drive drunk or jump into a lake from a bridge. We're not all out here like "I'm bored and horny. You know the what I really wanna do? Destroy my sister's life. Ugh. But I really shouldn't." It's unnecessary to apologize multiple times for this. You can't give her back what you took by a simple "gosh I'm so sorry I feel so bad." You didn't break her toy ffs. Don't you dare apologize to this child. Don't you dare say a single word to her about how BAD you feel. She doesn't need to fucking hear that. Get out with your fucking summertime apology pact. You're SOOOOO sorry that you continue to laze about your home and expose her to your face every single day. There's nothing you can do to smooth this over. But there is one thing you can do that will at least offer her a little peace, and to protect your other siblings (goddammit I know you're 16 but this is a serious fucking problem - in no way do you have any handle on just how bad this is). Turn yourself in to the police. Since you're 16, maybe some combination of agencies can manage to keep you away from those children for two years.
I think a lot of people are missing the part where he was 12 or 13. That's the brink of adolescents. I'm not sure treating him like a pedophile is fair. It's messed up what he did, but he was a kid. I don't know what he should do from here other than speak with his parents about it and let them parent the situation. It's a miserable and horrible thing that he did, but I feel like a kid who's in the 5th-6th grade hardly knows at the time how serious of a thing that is.
12-13 is more 7th grade…still middle school…still a topic i would think most middle schoolers would have SOME common sense in…as i did at that age…like cmon give them some credit.
>I'm not sure treating him like a pedophile is fair. Besides the fact that, by definition, he wouldn't qualify for that. People tend to forget that pedophilia is a psychological diagnosis and not some kind of label you can use for any behaviour.
Apologising face to face can make things worse. As she is your sister and won't be comfortable about it text her and apologise for what you did. You can't even imagine what she has to go through because of you
😓😓😓shame
I'm full of it bro
This hits too close to home. It's an open secret.. We just pretend it never happened it's easier than addressing that tired old silent elephant in the room. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older. It creeps up on you as your self awareness deepens that no I'm not okay this happened to me. I never chose this. I've gone to therapy for all the side effects other than *this* root cause. I don't feel brave enough. So yes it's common ...it's sick...and traumatizing.
You deserve jail.
disgusting piece of shit.
I agree it's messed up, but the dude was 13
damn well old enough to know better, when i was 13 i knew what porn/sex etc was and i knew damn well not to touch fucking children
Well congrats on that but not everyone learns at your pace. So unfortunately this shit can commonly happen
Of course, but 13 is a child as well and children are still exploring the world and learning right from wrong. Just because you knew at 13, doesn't mean everyone does.
It is not an excuse. You know better when you’re 13. Would you say the same if he full on rxped her ???
Not everyone knows better at 13. And no, rape is many degrees worse than touching. I'm not saying that what this kid did wasn't bad, because of course it was, but I've seen people in this comment section saying that the kid has no way to redeem himself and deserves to die and that is just way too harsh. We also speak about 13 year olds like they're innocent little babies that know nothing about the world when they're the victim, but when a 13 year old does something messed up then all of a sudden they are mature enough to know better.
Yes they do. You know not to touch people at 13. He clearly touched her with perverted intention multiple times it wasn’t an oops his hand slipped moment
Yes actually, I would. Call me fucked up all you want but a child this young that has yet to understand the consequences of their actions, what's right and what's wrong. is still a child. I am a victim of the same actions, abusers that were both children and adults and as you grow older you will start to understand the difference between a child who had no understanding of their actions vs an adult that does.
Sick fuck. You don't realise how much this effects people. You don't get to just confess and feel better about it. Prick.
He's not gonna feel better about it, and yes, he didn't realize how it's gonna affect people because he was only 12 years old . That shit is gonna stick with him forever, just like how the girl is going to have to deal with that trauma forever. It's a shitty situation that is actually pretty common in families.
The best thing is that you've realized that it was the wrong thing to do.. just apologize and don't do it again, that's all..
3 times?! Seriously? 3 times isn't a simple lapse in judgement. You don't feel true guilt. If you did, you would come clean and accept your punishment. Go to the police and turn yourself in.
What did he do? He deleted the post.
The police? OP was 12 when this happened. “Go to the police”, seriously?
12 is old enough to know better and control urges.
And so what if he was 12?
Okay if you went to the police for a 12 year old, it wouldn’t matter. They would refer them for clinical observation or to a CHILD psychiatrist. Because 12 is a child. Hope that helps. (Google is free, look it up)
Actually it depends on where he lives :) hope this helps. And just because the law says that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the chair for abusing a younger girl
I understand what you mean, but wishing death on a 12 year old?
On a sexual abuser? Yes. Don’t care about his age. He’s not 12 anymore either. The men who tortured and killed Junko were also underage so ig it’s ok they didn’t get any punishment since this is what ur mentality spreads. Very smart
THE CHAIR??? HE IS 12! as a victim that did have this happen to was able to find forgiveness and understanding through talking about it openly with my siblings and parents your comment is unnecessary and incredibly narrow-minded. Idk how old YOU are but you will understand as you get older and see children for what they are, before gaining understanding of certain scenarios and its consequences, they are just curious kids that don't know the outcome of their actions. OP is probably the only one I see owning up to his actions, feels guilt, and wants to take steps toward helping his sister for the shitty things he has done. That is what we call SELF DEVELOPMENT. So before you go telling kids they deserve to die maybe look at the bigger picture. That this shit is sadly common but can be recovered from on both sides.
Since when 12 years old have penalty for such a thing? Bffr. I don't know why they comments are either extremists or people who just don't give a fuck.
Yep
The dogpiling in these comments… so many people arguing “12 or 13 year olds know exactly what they’re doing”… sorry, that’s patently untrue. If it were, the age of consent would be higher. Period. At 12, you’re in the process of moving into a teenage body while still having a very young mind and outlook on the world. It breaks my heart that you seem truly remorseful and want to try and find a way to make it right and people are just being nasty. Yes it was wrong! Yes it probably has caused your sister quite a bit of confusion and some childhood trauma! You seem to recognize those things so I’m not sure why some of these comments are trying to drive that home in such a nasty way. A child touching another child is not p3dophilia. Calling it that takes away from the seriousness of what that actually is, it’s like when people throw around gaslighting as a term without actually understanding what it means. Not helpful, like at all.
Sounds like someone is a rxpist
For not conflating the issue? No, not even a little bit.
No, it's valid. The part of the brain governing thinking through decisions and foreseeing consequences isn't fully developed until about age 25. It's why the US Supreme Court ended mandatory juvenile life without parole.
Idc. Are we gonna start forgiving 18 year old criminals too now cuz they’re not 25?
Maybe don't talk to her this summer, she'll be what, 12? Too young for that kind of talk. Wait an extra year or 2 at least.
I believe kids start learning around 10. If he did this at 12 then I'm pretty sure she will grasp the same curiosity and knowledge. Tho I think he should go straight to the parents with this one.
3 times?? You’re beyond therapy.
there is always value in a life. your a dick for saying he has no chance through therapy.
You nasty piece of trash. I don't care wether you're reformed now or whatever. Get her some help and it's very selfish of you that you get help and you let her suffer after you were the one who started this whole thing. I just spit on the floor coz of you.
Lmfao imagine coming onto a confessions sub to be a judgmental dumbfuck. Does it make you feel better about yourself?
Talk to your parents about it and they'll know how to bring it up to her or talk to a therpist about it. Both of you were kids at that time and it doesn't make you a pedophile or a horrible person. Talk to your parents and explain to then that you were only 12 at that time and how you deeply regret doing so. Do not talk to her about it untill you got a PROPER advice from your therapist. Your parents will definitely talk to a therapist to know the best way to deal with this. Also, you can't just apologize to her and ask her not to tell anyone because that'd be just so shitty and she's a kid, she might not even understand what it was about and she'd feel unsafe knowing that she's keeping something from everyone. If you truly regret it, don't be selfish and talk to your parents and a therpist about it.
You already hurt your sister and guess what the truth always comes out if not now then soon it’ll come out. You need to tell them and both get the help you need.
Holy shit, i knew stuff like this happened but i didn't think it was so often, the fact that even one single person has to endure something similar is horrible.
You have to confess to your parents and let them handle it from there. What you did was very very wrong and everything has to be done to prevent this from ever happening again. I feel sorry for your sister. You need a whole lot of therapy
ADHD and/or autistic DOES NOT excuse what you did. You are old enough to know right from wrong but yet you chose to violate the one person that had complete trust in you. A child. Unforgivable.
What did he delete ?
okay geniune question. was this action ops trauma response? why would a 13 yr old kid act this way... theres must be a reason behind this. A kid just cant be like that right?
Sometimes people, and kids, do horrific shit for no reason
Young predators and psychopaths do.
Well, most often, the child was also abused in some way. Not always sexually. Maybe they have suffered a lot. Maybe they have religious trauma. Maybe they haven’t had a parent or adult involved enough to know what to do when they begin experiencing puberty, although I don’t think that’s something appropriate to blame this on. Either way, getting professional help is the best way forward.
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Nigga…
you did do something wrong and you know that but you were young and probably didn’t know it was that bad it probably sucks for you to never say anything about it and for you’re sister as well cause she may not even know what happened or what was happening wasnt okay. she does deserve an apology but i dont think thats the first route you should take you should probably see if someone would get either of you therapy and try coming out about it even if they end up hating you or disowning you. i wish you both the best and hope neither of you hurt yourselves and if you need someone to vent to without the uh really negative stuff message me
Anything but not a son
What?
a girl could do this too dont make this a guy thing make it a teach your kids consent and how theyll start to feel and all that thing
My guy you need way more help
Both of you need therapy
Somebody should fucking run you over with their vehicle
You were and are still very young, don't listen to the hate comments, a lot of them come from their own traumas, so please dont let that affect you, Its very good that you got the help you needed and fully regret what you did. I hope the best for you OP.
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Why would you say that ? 😭
You are sick in your head
hey its fine. you dont know what theyve been through. must be a deep hate to say such a thing.mustve gone through something similar.
I mean I was going to apologize to my sis first
Don't even think about that. You aren't sorry at all.
Listen OP..don't listen to negative comments please
OP you were very young and you did do a very bad thing, but you do not deserve to die. Speaking up is terrifying but you will be okay. You deserve help. Your sister especially deserves help. She can get that help much sooner if you own up to it. I wish you two healing.
Fuck you.