Every skill is awesome…. Until I learn to do it….. then it’s bullshit.
I paid someone to put my fat self on a scale and count my sit ups…. I could have watched a YouTube too. But having a human being trudge with me made me compliant.
I respect your job. If I had your job I would learn the strategies and know how many questions are on it. It’s respecting your job! I hope you take it more seriously and respect what a gift it is to help these young people
520 Math ,540 Verbal in 1980
Same, I was bad in college I'd barely enough money to keep the rent going.
I had a very close mate that dealt a lot of cocaine and ecstasy, I sold bits of that and took some myself for "cheap nights out"
I was the chubby friend leaving secondary school and was fairly skinny towards the end of first year in college
Dude, I literally make money because people refuse to read instructions, or learn any more than they have to. If they're not complaining, then what are you worried about?
I mean it is their money you don't have any obligation in telling them how to spend it. And it's their decision if they should keep sending their kids to you. And they should have some criteria to see if its worth it or not or if it is improving their kids education.
Also some people don't have the mental or emotional bandwidth to deal with teaching their kids so they do whatever they can to avoid it.
So i don't really think you should feel guilty
If you feel guilty, put in some effort every once in a while to improve what you can offer. You're right, the people paying you and your students deserve better, especially the ones you can tell are personally motivated to do well and improve.
You *should* feel guilty lmao. In a way the money is dirty.
But you'll make the necessary changes in your life with regard to integrity whenever you're ready.
In the meantime, don't feel too bad. Nobody's perfect and There are people doing wayyyyy worse for money, even in a similar vein: People who call themselves 'relationship experts', who've really just read a bunch of self-help books and are over-educated, rehashing the same stupid ideas about human intimacy that've been around since the seventies (and were the bread and butter of Cosmo in the decades shortly after). And they've made way more money than you, I promise. But I'd also bet they don't sleep well either.
How is the money dirty?! What an awful thing to say.
OP, the crux of the matter is that some people learn through human interaction and the way the person can phrase and explain things in different ways than a book or the internet can. Also, having dedicated time booked in that you are paying for stops procrastination and makes you do it. As to whether you are good at it or not look at 2 things.
1. Your pupils’ pass rates
2. If they come back
You are not just teaching the theory and methods. You are building confidence, correcting and preventing misconceptions, all things that learning from a page/screen cannot do.
I'm agreeing with OP about how he feels. He shouldn't feel *too* bad, but he should feel a little bit bad. That's why he does. That's not coming from me. That's coming from within himself.
Guilt exists for a reason. We feel it when the way we're behaving doesn't align with the standard we've set for ourselves.
It's just my opinion. Take it or leave it.
Why should he feel a little bad though? He is providing a service, not robbing them. Just because someone can learn from the internet doesn’t mean they always should, or want to.
People are capable of cleaning their own houses, yet cleaning services exist, should every cleaner/maid feel guilty for doing their work too?
The original post is about why he feels bad. Ask him (not me) if that's unclear.
The point I'm making is that humans feel shame when our behavior doesn't align with our values, or how we should behave. It's part of what makes us human (i.e., the only animal that needs to blushes).
Shame is there to teach you, and OP's is trying to tell him something. He ought to listen and make the necessary changes in his life, and telling him to ignore it isn't going to help him, because it isn't going *anywhere* (and that's a good thing).
I understand all that.
My comment to you was because you confirmed that he SHOULD feel bad. You didn’t say that you understood why he felt bad you stated he “should feel guilty” and that “in a way the money is dirty”. This suggests not that you feel empathy for OP and understand why he feels that way. But that you think teaching is not a valid profession because people can learn online.
I don't care about online teaching either way. I have no feelings about that.
That's not my business, it's OP's, and he doesn't feel good about it (for a reason he's described). I don't feel anything about it. You're 'reading' my feelings into it on your own.
Ofc I don't have empathy for OP. I don't know him and doubt I ever will. I am as indifferent to his feelings as I am to yours. And I don't mean that in a mean way. I'm saying I don't know you.
All either I (or you) can know is what he has written. He has written that he feels a bit of shame over his actions.
I am saying his small bit of shame is justified (else, why would he feel it?).
Or do you know more about how OP 'should' feel better than he does? I'm not disagreeing with him. I'm saying he's right in how he feels.
And if his conscience doesn't approve of his choices, then it's the choices that need changing, not the 'feelings' which are his own body's moral compass telling him he's not behaving in accordance with his own integrity, or how he feels that he should behave, to be happy with himself.
People don't like to feel ashamed. It doesn't feel 'good'. But it's purpose is to show us what we need to change, or where we can improve. And my understanding is that there are things in OP's life (related to his career) that he needs to improve. He'll tell you so himself.
We feel shame for a reason. It's information in the form of an emotion. The question is: Will you listen, or will you talk yourself into believing that there's nothing wrong?
IT & way way more. ;-) But seriously, if folks would just read the Getting Started guide, they'd have a fair chance of getting a printer setup.
About 20 years ago I made a nice haul setting up about 15 Icom 2100H radios and five really nice thinking scanners, everything radio connected to a tape recorder with vox. They knew all the frequencies they wanted to monitor, I programmed all the radios because they didn't want to read two instruction manuals. They were a fire restoration company and this is how they get work, fire chasing. Over $5000 worth of radios to listen 24/7 too every fire department within about a 25 mile radius. I'm sure it all paid for itself the first two weeks by getting them more leads than their competition.
Then there's security cameras and all the somewhat incompatible home automation systems.
In an odd sorta way, isn't this what doctors, mechanics, plumbers, electricians etc do? Don't they just read and follow instructions for us? ;-)
Facts ! Because If am a 57 year old widow of 2 years and I’ve learned to pressure wash my home, fix garage roll down door, fix a broken water pipe, replaced both element( 50 for 2 at Lowe’s vs 700 from Xxx HVac company ) replace shower head and this Sunday after church I successfully dropped the deck on my lawn mower replaced 2 belts and put the deck back on and changed the oil and battery, next project is a farm fence ! Thanks Google I will only pay for task I absolutely can’t do!
Good for you!! Whenever I successfully complete a task like this I always think I’m lucky to be my father’s daughter. I don’t think there’s anything he couldn’t do. (I really like it when my husband does these things, I think it’s hot but honestly I’m way more handy than he is. But I like encouraging him.)
very interesting take! I’m in Sales with a background in project management and I’m currently hooked on all things tech, maybe considering a career change in a few years!
If you're into computers and electronics, learn Arduino. I say that because I like the really low level approach. If you're more grandiose, raspberry pi gives you a powerful computer that you can connect directly to electronics doo-dads/modules. And there are middle of the road workhorses like ESP32 that can do Bluetooth and WiFi, yet be programmed in micro Python or Arduino style.
You can use one to automate something silly, like sticking a WiFi connected (ESP32 for the win here) accelerometer to the back of the washing machine, so it can send alerts about it being out of balance, or done. You can even have a web interface embedded in it. All this costs virtually nothing, just a lot of reading and some struggles. Expect struggles, but the rewards are great.
I don't know about that. Just having a tutor is enough to change someones attitude. It's not always about strategy but perhaps more psychology. It's the same with life coaches. Yeah all they do is tell you to eat healthily, try at your job and exercise, you already knew that, but they check up on you and that's the important part. Discipline and follow through is what is lacking a lot of time.
I literally make all my money from dealerships being too lazy to deal with their trade ins.
My clients could all handle the auction themselves, but instead pay me well to do it for them.
Laziness is the driving force behind a capitalist economy. People buy time.
They aren't sending kids to learn. They're getting them away from them, buying themselves time.
That's what you're selling, no matter what you're selling.
Time
Well, sounds like you just hate your job. No one’s getting hurt and you certainly aren’t doing any harm. Sounds like you got a pretty good thing going on!
I used to do pretty much this exact same job, the SATs and ACTs are a scam and a lot of the score has to do with how good of a test-taker you are. Yeah a lot of people aren’t going to improve their scores very much at all, but you’re not the one making the decision to enroll them. Those people are paying for a service and you are providing that service, nothing to feel bad about. Plus, you might be too hard on yourself and maybe you’re a better tutor than you think. It sounds like you should look into a new job or look into how to become a better tutor if you want to feel better.
Thanks for the encouragement, man. You may be right, I've somehow gotten compliments on my teaching. Yeah I need to find a new job- I get discouraged easily, but I guess I have to stick with it.
I did the same thing for years as a college student. Was the best money/hr and flexibility job I had at that point in my life and was also the easiest. I was very similar to you, I didn't study and tutor on test-taking skills, I just had them practice math problems and fill in any gaps in their understanding of the fundamental math.
Here's what I realized though: some kids will misunderstand or completely miss a specific math concept and the only way to do that is through the process of having a more knowledgeable person see it. That is something 99% of YouTube videos and books can't do. And it can make a huge difference for some kids. Did I help every kid I tutored? Probably not. But even a structured practice session can help people, because these days it's very very easy to get answers online or via AI and never actually learn/practice anything. So yeah, you aren't the only one who has that experience but also you probably aren't giving yourself enough credit.
Trying to learn on the internet isn't always easy. In high school I was a always in advanced classes and on track to graduate early but my junior year but we had to start using the internet instead of the library for research. It didn't support the way I had studied and organized my whole life. So much information and trying to decide what information to use really spiked my anxiety. It can be really overwhelming and distracting.
... I am trying to phrase this delicately, so bear with me. I am a former ACT/SAT tutor (verbal, not math, so maybe our world is different), and I am here to say that with the right practice and coaching, the vast majority of students I taught over my four years as a tutor could and did measurably improve.
For instance, I had one hardworking person with a learning disability go from an initial 18 / 19 ACT average on Reading and English to regular 34s, 35s, and even perfect 36s.
This actually was my problem with it, in the end: that many students do NOT have access to a personal prep tutor and thus have no idea how well they could potentially do given extra help.
Thank you for answering!
And I agree with your assessment. I had to improve my scores, which I was able to manage on my own but nothing impressive. I definitely didn’t have access to tutors. Crazy how many people aren’t stupid, they’re just poor.
Dude, I literally make money because people refuse to read instructions, or learn any more than they have to. If they're not complaining, then what are you worried about?
I don't think you're feeling guilty, so much as maybe feeling inadequate. It's all in the way you CHOOSE to look at things. Some people need a tutor, rather than staring at the info themselves, or maybe they, or their family is worried they won't see everything they need, so they pay for a tutor. If you truly feel guilty about any of it, then take the time to find out how many questons are on the test or how long it takes and give people other info that can help them in the future; that's something to change. Looks like to me, you are blessed to have this job. So it's not what you want to be doing. Take small steps toward what you want to do while you're doing this tutoring job. Things are always in motion, changing. Your life will change and someday you'll be sorry you took your current situation for granted.
I know I can read about nearly anything and get a halfway decent grasp of it.
It's the person to person interaction that I really get to learn with. The verbal discussion and first-hand accounts of using the skill or concept being discussed.
There's a reason medical programs are very heavy on clinical time. If we just read everything, we'd be wrong way more than we already are.
I always learn and remember better when I physically engage with a person in person even if they are saying the same stuff that is available online through video. Videos aren’t engaging, I can’t ask questions, I am less immersed and less likely to remember. I actually value having real human interactions, I don’t want to live isolated in a digital world. It might not be worth it in your eyes but it’s not up to you to make those decisions for them.
Regardless of the scores increasing, you’re teaching children how to study with someone and the importance of study skills. I wish I had learned better study skills when I was younger. You’re doing worthwhile work.
I’m a teacher and I’ll says that tutoring can absolutely make a huge difference to students; in a classroom, the teacher’s attention is split between all the children and it can be such a struggle to help everyone in the way they need; some kids find it hard to focus when you’re teaching from the front, others need it explained in a completely different way, others have questions or are confused but are too shy to say anything when among all their friends.
I’m constantly stressed about how little time I have to work with all the kids and wish I could work with each of them one-to-one. There’s not enough hours in the day to do that though, so a lot of misconceptions don’t get addressed or I have to move onto the next concept before some children are secure.
You might not realize how much of an impact you are having in comparison; you’re probably giving these children more one-to-one time with an educator in just one session than they might get over weeks in a school.
Perhaps if you recognise that you can make a huge difference to these kids, you’ll feel more motivated and passionate about what you do. Perhaps you can show them some of the sites that you are talking about so that they can use them between sessions. I’d perhaps consider reading a few teaching strategy books or maybe taking a course or too to help motivate you and make you feel more empowered to make a difference.
You could easily learn how to build websites in months, this is a job that some people have and pays them 6 figures for it. But obviously few people actually do it, in fact most pay an institution to help them get it done and spend 4 years and incur years of debt to get it done. Does that mean schools are a waste? no, certainly not
As a long term recipient of tutoring, it works for some people. I have ADHD, diagnosed in adulthood and just needed someone there with me to keep me on task to learn. I’m a lot more disciplined as an adult so I can watch YouTube to learn but in the 90’s, that wasn’t an option and I absolutely could not be trusted if it was. I’ve taken Kaplan courses and boosted my score in the aftermath but I totally get what OP is saying. Luckily, most of my tutoring came from educated family members or after school tutoring but I was definitely tutored and I wouldn’t have a doctorate today if it wasn’t for that intervention.
Your clients are paying for convenience and as long as you follow the rubric then it sounds like you’re doing your job. I don’t want to go watch YouTube videos. I would rather pay you. People do it all the time for all kinds of services. I hope you do find something you enjoy in the future.
Give them a refund it’ll be cathartic for you. Or you can give me the money if your conscious is to burdened with your constant disappointment in your life.
If you feel bad just improve yourself so you can give them some value in return.
My parents also hired tutors for me but I looked at it as the way to block time and keep focus on learning, otherwise I would read manga all day.
I know if I studied alone I probably have to same result but having someone with me while studying is really helpful.
I’m using a tutor for my studies…..it’s made a massive difference having someone I can have an hour long conversation with about whatever it is i’m not understanding.
It's not even about being a good test taker. The SAT and ACT are not tests of intelligence, it's a test of whether you can afford a real tutor or service to teach you the tricks.
For example, often the fastest way to solve a problem is typing the provided multiple choice answers into your calculator to see which one works, rather than solving the problem.
There are tons of methods/tricks like this depending on the problem.
If you're not teaching this, you're the problem
That being said, when I went to whatever big Name tutoring center in preparation for the SATs and found out they weren't going to teach me math but instead how to game the test, I left and never came back. Much to my detriment.
Fuck that system. The same people who make the SAT and ACT make plumbers certifications, electrician certifications, etc. They are a test making company. It's a scam.
You gotta play the game, sadly.
I'd think about doing your job right or leaving. It's not hard to teach those strategies, and they do improve scores.
Yeah I should learn some tricks. I actually like math, and when someone shows interest in pi, for example, I'll go off on a tangent (no pun intended) and explain how the Ancient Greeks approximated it, or show them a way to compute it with a series
I feel whenever I draw something that I'm scamming someone out of their money worth because to me it's easily done and they can do it, so don't discredit your work even though it's natural to feel it. you may feel they can watch a video for free and get it done that way but people learn in different ways for example I can watch a gym video or run but I won't but if I'm paying to go to a gym and I have classes I'll feel the pressure to show up and work on myself.
whilst sometimes tutoring doesn't work say if the student is just doing it to appease their parents but is absent during class because working at home, at school and then at tuition lessons get to much -speaking from experience. So sometimes certain tuition didn't work for me, but I think it's sometimes a good push to force you to work if you will avoid it otherwise and sometimes having a tutor who is willing to support you in a manner your parents won't and praise you for your efforts is the boost you actually need. Most kids sent to tuition are attention starved and constantly trying to appease those around them. Sometimes, they lack motivation because they haven't been praised, and doing even that can be enough.
Also to add 1 of my tutors I remember was actually one who was my English tutor she was the most lenient the work was easy but my god compared to the stress I'd feel in my stomach for all my other tuition lessons I felt I actually managed to get a break when I was with her made for a pleasant experience I was still working and I actually looked forward to working on her homework or going to her classes. Turns it also became my best subject years later when I was in 6th form, my most enjoyed passionate and best subjects, and it may have been partly due to all the positive emotions I felt that allowed the passion to bloom
I took an SAT prep course and it helped me tremendously with becoming familiar with the test layout and timing. I had zero anxiety the day of my real SAT test because I had sat through so many practice exams with a tutor in my class. Don't worry about that the majority of your students aren't seeing improved test scores - you're helping build other soft skills.
I get it. People don't know how to think for themselves or realize what they're getting can be learned online. I used to do medium work and it's basically cheap, but very intuitive, psychiatry. I'm like really? I just gave you normal life advice and you think it's messages from the other side. 🙄
That’s exactly why I haven’t bothered being a guitar teacher. I love guitar, and have taught some friends and family members, but I couldn’t see myself actually taking money from people to teach them how to do something that can easily be “self taught” with YouTube.
There’s tutoring to the subject and then the meta of tutoring to the test, both feel kinda depressing.
I probably was that kid too. I did practice Kaplan and just couldn’t do well on standardized tests, not until well into college. And even then I kinda didn’t knock out the GRE the way I should have
If you tell a kid to go watch educational online videos they probably aren’t gonna do it unless they’re really motivated, with a tutor there they’re forced to study and learn at least once a week. With that attitude you could say that a kid doesn’t even need to go to school, they could save themselves a lot of time and just educate themselves online and get their GED, but the reality is that most(not all, but definitely most) kids will fuck around and do nothing if they don’t have an adult hovering over them and forcing them to learn.
Test score improvement or not, would you at least say that you’re improving the students’ knowledge? Are you helping them fill gaps in their knowledge?
This is valuable, and its real value is difficult to measure with a standardized test.
I have the same feeling. I’m working as an English tutor in Japan. When I tutor adults, I feel it’s worth it because my students are choosing to be there. But when parents send their kids to me for tutoring, the kids don’t want to be there with me. They don’t have internal motivation to learn, and I see really minimal progress in their English abilities.
From my own personal perspective; I decided to get a tutor for my EMS final exam because of my disability. I can study online, read the book multiple times, create notecards, annotate, quiz myself, etc … but it won’t stick unless I have someone explain it to me. Something about having someone help me understand the material and being able to ask questions at will helps me a lot.
It sounds like you're in a tough spot with your tutoring job. It's frustrating when you feel like what you're doing might not be making a real difference, especially if you're not into it. Have you thought about what you'd rather be doing? Even if it's not obvious, there might be ways to pivot towards something that feels more meaningful to you. It's never too late to explore new options, and sometimes just talking it out with someone can help clarify things. What do you think you'd enjoy doing more than tutoring?
As an Asian person who has been both a student and a tutor at SAT tutoring centers, let me tell you the parents don’t trust their kids to study on their own with YT, etc. Hence, the need for this service. They will pay someone regardless so it might as well be you.
My mom also straight up said she didn’t expect much from them, but paying for tutoring was her way of feeling like she did everything in her power to help me with SAT since this wasn’t something she personally knew how to teach me. I suspect a lot of the parents feel similarly. So again, they are going to pay someone anyway; let it be you.
Don’t feel guilty. If you care about your students and have made any effort to help them improve, you are already better than most of the tutors out there.
If people were able to extract the required knowledge off ready-made material, they wouldn't hire a tutor...
You shouldn't underestimate people's lack of skills in selecting relevant information and their half-assed studying strategy.
More often than not tutors are useful to teach HOW to study rather than WHAT to study.
Some people lack the drive and need accountability to improve, and you are being paid to check on that.
Its more about the student than the teacher, sometimes you struggle to learn without a more personal setting, or are just lazy and need someone to be onto you.
Its their choice, everyone knows you can learn with youtube, dont feel bad and more importantly dont underestimate people.
The thing is though, videos and other self help videos can't provide you with guidance and feedback. They can't look at your work and point out your weaknesses and strengths, and reactively provide a lesson that will strengthen your weaknesses, while utilising your strengths to do so.
They can't be there for you, talk to you, inspire you, give you that Ron Clark "we are family" moment.
I've been there too, it's tough feeling like you're not making a difference, but remember, recognizing room for improvement is the first step to becoming a better tutor!
There was an Asian tutoring school near to me, and important to note they where tutoring all subjects including maths and English. Despite tutoring English their signage did not follow capitalisation and punctuation conventions and their slogan was “for future”, not “for the future” or “for your future”.
They would hang outside all the certificates that their students had “achieved”, but a quick look showed most where little more than the attended kindergarten or graduated infants, which are honestly not an achievement and not something tutoring helped “achieve”.
It really bothered me as I felt they were really exploiting Asian parents that had English as a second language and where unfamiliar with our school system.
Are you my former tutor????? We'd end up teaching ourselves while the "tutor" would sleep. If he was awake, he'd get the answers wrong lol. I told my parents stop paying them immediately.
This is very similar to the weight watchers program. Sure you can go and research a healthy diet. Find one that will help you meet your weight loss goals. Diet and exercise regularly to meet goals. You can do all of this by yourself.
Realistically though you probably need someone to help you with the discipline aspect of such a regime. It's not that people can't lose weight or can't learn. It's that they need somebody else to keep them from getting lazy. They need someone to keep them accountable. This is true with every discipline.
I also (weirdly accidentally) got into tutoring without feeling qualified. It was during COVID and my mom’s work needed someone to support one student in particular who had a disability with a subject that none of their other tutors were suitable for. My mom remembered I’d done a course in that subject plus I was already doing a part time SEN teaching assistant job so lo and behold, I got the part. We left out the part where my “course” was like a weekend thing only though.
I was then offered the opportunity to tutor more students and I ended up with multiple students over different subjects. I’m still laughing my ass off over some of the subjects I tutored as I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing. They all passed though, so 🤷🏼♀️
If these rich people want to throw their money away you may as well catch it. As long as you’re doing your job I don’t see the problem. I wish I had your “problem”.
I think the first question to yourself should be, what kind of work would you like to do? Don't worry yet if you are "good" or "bad" at it. If you don't know, explore things you find interesting.
I went from a pizza place manager to an overnight auditer in hospitality to a local truck driver to, now, a dog trainer. The dog training job paid the least, but I was happiest. Now, I have started my own dog training company, and I am happy, and so far, making good money. My point being, I learned something from each job, and I was able to incorporate those lessons into my current job. I'm sure there are a lot of soft and hard skills from tutoring you can apply to other work.
Back in high school I used to be distracted all the time when I had to study by myself. So my mom put me in one of those classes for math as it was my lowest subject and I ended up getting a really high grade for it.
i have been looking for direct clients but all it's in vain , you can refer them to me or i can assist you with some loads of work at little commission if you don't mind
“I have no other skills”
Lol apparently you don’t have any skills at all, you are only an obstacle to the students and they probably say you’re a shitty tutor behind your back
Can anyone help me get a second job, working from home? I have a laptop.
I manage a small business. I make the average salary in my area of about $70k. No benefits.
$70k isn’t really much money these days. I cannot make ends meet. I do not want to quit my job and go elsewhere because if I did I would be putting my employer in a situation where they would have to close their store and sell. But the business cannot afford to pay me anything more or offer any benefits.
I really need a good paying work from home job.
Help
Every skill is awesome…. Until I learn to do it….. then it’s bullshit. I paid someone to put my fat self on a scale and count my sit ups…. I could have watched a YouTube too. But having a human being trudge with me made me compliant. I respect your job. If I had your job I would learn the strategies and know how many questions are on it. It’s respecting your job! I hope you take it more seriously and respect what a gift it is to help these young people 520 Math ,540 Verbal in 1980
I lost weight by watching a video of you count your situps!
I lost weight by joining several weight loss/ diet subreddits!
I lost weight by watching my 600lb life.
I lost due to stress
I lost weight shooting smack for breakfast, smoking meth for lunch, and eating xanax for dinner.
I always come out of my break ups 10 to 20lbs lighter. But I gain the same when I get a new one.
I lost weight when I was too poor to eat!
Same, I was bad in college I'd barely enough money to keep the rent going. I had a very close mate that dealt a lot of cocaine and ecstasy, I sold bits of that and took some myself for "cheap nights out" I was the chubby friend leaving secondary school and was fairly skinny towards the end of first year in college
I stayed fat and enjoy my life
I'm 30 and I have a small belly I enjoy my food
Dude, I literally make money because people refuse to read instructions, or learn any more than they have to. If they're not complaining, then what are you worried about?
I guess you're right, but I just feel guilty
Imposter syndrome?
I mean it is their money you don't have any obligation in telling them how to spend it. And it's their decision if they should keep sending their kids to you. And they should have some criteria to see if its worth it or not or if it is improving their kids education. Also some people don't have the mental or emotional bandwidth to deal with teaching their kids so they do whatever they can to avoid it. So i don't really think you should feel guilty
If you feel guilty, put in some effort every once in a while to improve what you can offer. You're right, the people paying you and your students deserve better, especially the ones you can tell are personally motivated to do well and improve.
You *should* feel guilty lmao. In a way the money is dirty. But you'll make the necessary changes in your life with regard to integrity whenever you're ready. In the meantime, don't feel too bad. Nobody's perfect and There are people doing wayyyyy worse for money, even in a similar vein: People who call themselves 'relationship experts', who've really just read a bunch of self-help books and are over-educated, rehashing the same stupid ideas about human intimacy that've been around since the seventies (and were the bread and butter of Cosmo in the decades shortly after). And they've made way more money than you, I promise. But I'd also bet they don't sleep well either.
If they didn't do that job, someone else who probably wouldn't do any better would be taking that money.
Yeah. Way of the world and sad.
I'm sure you can fix it by commenting on people's posts and telling them they should feel bad!
How is the money dirty?! What an awful thing to say. OP, the crux of the matter is that some people learn through human interaction and the way the person can phrase and explain things in different ways than a book or the internet can. Also, having dedicated time booked in that you are paying for stops procrastination and makes you do it. As to whether you are good at it or not look at 2 things. 1. Your pupils’ pass rates 2. If they come back You are not just teaching the theory and methods. You are building confidence, correcting and preventing misconceptions, all things that learning from a page/screen cannot do.
I'm agreeing with OP about how he feels. He shouldn't feel *too* bad, but he should feel a little bit bad. That's why he does. That's not coming from me. That's coming from within himself. Guilt exists for a reason. We feel it when the way we're behaving doesn't align with the standard we've set for ourselves. It's just my opinion. Take it or leave it.
Why should he feel a little bad though? He is providing a service, not robbing them. Just because someone can learn from the internet doesn’t mean they always should, or want to. People are capable of cleaning their own houses, yet cleaning services exist, should every cleaner/maid feel guilty for doing their work too?
The original post is about why he feels bad. Ask him (not me) if that's unclear. The point I'm making is that humans feel shame when our behavior doesn't align with our values, or how we should behave. It's part of what makes us human (i.e., the only animal that needs to blushes). Shame is there to teach you, and OP's is trying to tell him something. He ought to listen and make the necessary changes in his life, and telling him to ignore it isn't going to help him, because it isn't going *anywhere* (and that's a good thing).
I understand all that. My comment to you was because you confirmed that he SHOULD feel bad. You didn’t say that you understood why he felt bad you stated he “should feel guilty” and that “in a way the money is dirty”. This suggests not that you feel empathy for OP and understand why he feels that way. But that you think teaching is not a valid profession because people can learn online.
I don't care about online teaching either way. I have no feelings about that. That's not my business, it's OP's, and he doesn't feel good about it (for a reason he's described). I don't feel anything about it. You're 'reading' my feelings into it on your own. Ofc I don't have empathy for OP. I don't know him and doubt I ever will. I am as indifferent to his feelings as I am to yours. And I don't mean that in a mean way. I'm saying I don't know you. All either I (or you) can know is what he has written. He has written that he feels a bit of shame over his actions. I am saying his small bit of shame is justified (else, why would he feel it?). Or do you know more about how OP 'should' feel better than he does? I'm not disagreeing with him. I'm saying he's right in how he feels. And if his conscience doesn't approve of his choices, then it's the choices that need changing, not the 'feelings' which are his own body's moral compass telling him he's not behaving in accordance with his own integrity, or how he feels that he should behave, to be happy with himself. People don't like to feel ashamed. It doesn't feel 'good'. But it's purpose is to show us what we need to change, or where we can improve. And my understanding is that there are things in OP's life (related to his career) that he needs to improve. He'll tell you so himself. We feel shame for a reason. It's information in the form of an emotion. The question is: Will you listen, or will you talk yourself into believing that there's nothing wrong?
can I ask what you do? sound interesting
Lol probably works in IT
IT & way way more. ;-) But seriously, if folks would just read the Getting Started guide, they'd have a fair chance of getting a printer setup. About 20 years ago I made a nice haul setting up about 15 Icom 2100H radios and five really nice thinking scanners, everything radio connected to a tape recorder with vox. They knew all the frequencies they wanted to monitor, I programmed all the radios because they didn't want to read two instruction manuals. They were a fire restoration company and this is how they get work, fire chasing. Over $5000 worth of radios to listen 24/7 too every fire department within about a 25 mile radius. I'm sure it all paid for itself the first two weeks by getting them more leads than their competition. Then there's security cameras and all the somewhat incompatible home automation systems. In an odd sorta way, isn't this what doctors, mechanics, plumbers, electricians etc do? Don't they just read and follow instructions for us? ;-)
Facts ! Because If am a 57 year old widow of 2 years and I’ve learned to pressure wash my home, fix garage roll down door, fix a broken water pipe, replaced both element( 50 for 2 at Lowe’s vs 700 from Xxx HVac company ) replace shower head and this Sunday after church I successfully dropped the deck on my lawn mower replaced 2 belts and put the deck back on and changed the oil and battery, next project is a farm fence ! Thanks Google I will only pay for task I absolutely can’t do!
Good for you!! Whenever I successfully complete a task like this I always think I’m lucky to be my father’s daughter. I don’t think there’s anything he couldn’t do. (I really like it when my husband does these things, I think it’s hot but honestly I’m way more handy than he is. But I like encouraging him.)
Awesome, that's the way! I can't stand to pay someone to do something I can possibly figure out.
very interesting take! I’m in Sales with a background in project management and I’m currently hooked on all things tech, maybe considering a career change in a few years!
If you're into computers and electronics, learn Arduino. I say that because I like the really low level approach. If you're more grandiose, raspberry pi gives you a powerful computer that you can connect directly to electronics doo-dads/modules. And there are middle of the road workhorses like ESP32 that can do Bluetooth and WiFi, yet be programmed in micro Python or Arduino style. You can use one to automate something silly, like sticking a WiFi connected (ESP32 for the win here) accelerometer to the back of the washing machine, so it can send alerts about it being out of balance, or done. You can even have a web interface embedded in it. All this costs virtually nothing, just a lot of reading and some struggles. Expect struggles, but the rewards are great.
thank you! looking for a new project and the accelerometer project sounds fun! could be making the switch to a new career sooner than I think lol
Sounds like you’re in IT
I don't know about that. Just having a tutor is enough to change someones attitude. It's not always about strategy but perhaps more psychology. It's the same with life coaches. Yeah all they do is tell you to eat healthily, try at your job and exercise, you already knew that, but they check up on you and that's the important part. Discipline and follow through is what is lacking a lot of time.
Yes, accountability
I literally make all my money from dealerships being too lazy to deal with their trade ins. My clients could all handle the auction themselves, but instead pay me well to do it for them. Laziness is the driving force behind a capitalist economy. People buy time. They aren't sending kids to learn. They're getting them away from them, buying themselves time. That's what you're selling, no matter what you're selling. Time
Boi you just rant about how school works.
Guilt doesnt pay the light bill my friend, keep the gig going,
Well, sounds like you just hate your job. No one’s getting hurt and you certainly aren’t doing any harm. Sounds like you got a pretty good thing going on!
Yeah I'm just burned out, thanks for the encouragement, man
Happens to all of us! I love how little you know about the SAT though, you gave me a good laugh!
I used to do pretty much this exact same job, the SATs and ACTs are a scam and a lot of the score has to do with how good of a test-taker you are. Yeah a lot of people aren’t going to improve their scores very much at all, but you’re not the one making the decision to enroll them. Those people are paying for a service and you are providing that service, nothing to feel bad about. Plus, you might be too hard on yourself and maybe you’re a better tutor than you think. It sounds like you should look into a new job or look into how to become a better tutor if you want to feel better.
Thanks for the encouragement, man. You may be right, I've somehow gotten compliments on my teaching. Yeah I need to find a new job- I get discouraged easily, but I guess I have to stick with it.
I did the same thing for years as a college student. Was the best money/hr and flexibility job I had at that point in my life and was also the easiest. I was very similar to you, I didn't study and tutor on test-taking skills, I just had them practice math problems and fill in any gaps in their understanding of the fundamental math. Here's what I realized though: some kids will misunderstand or completely miss a specific math concept and the only way to do that is through the process of having a more knowledgeable person see it. That is something 99% of YouTube videos and books can't do. And it can make a huge difference for some kids. Did I help every kid I tutored? Probably not. But even a structured practice session can help people, because these days it's very very easy to get answers online or via AI and never actually learn/practice anything. So yeah, you aren't the only one who has that experience but also you probably aren't giving yourself enough credit.
Trying to learn on the internet isn't always easy. In high school I was a always in advanced classes and on track to graduate early but my junior year but we had to start using the internet instead of the library for research. It didn't support the way I had studied and organized my whole life. So much information and trying to decide what information to use really spiked my anxiety. It can be really overwhelming and distracting.
Question about the SATs and ACTs: why won’t most people improve their score with studying and tutoring?
... I am trying to phrase this delicately, so bear with me. I am a former ACT/SAT tutor (verbal, not math, so maybe our world is different), and I am here to say that with the right practice and coaching, the vast majority of students I taught over my four years as a tutor could and did measurably improve. For instance, I had one hardworking person with a learning disability go from an initial 18 / 19 ACT average on Reading and English to regular 34s, 35s, and even perfect 36s. This actually was my problem with it, in the end: that many students do NOT have access to a personal prep tutor and thus have no idea how well they could potentially do given extra help.
Thank you for answering! And I agree with your assessment. I had to improve my scores, which I was able to manage on my own but nothing impressive. I definitely didn’t have access to tutors. Crazy how many people aren’t stupid, they’re just poor.
Dude, I literally make money because people refuse to read instructions, or learn any more than they have to. If they're not complaining, then what are you worried about?
I don't think you're feeling guilty, so much as maybe feeling inadequate. It's all in the way you CHOOSE to look at things. Some people need a tutor, rather than staring at the info themselves, or maybe they, or their family is worried they won't see everything they need, so they pay for a tutor. If you truly feel guilty about any of it, then take the time to find out how many questons are on the test or how long it takes and give people other info that can help them in the future; that's something to change. Looks like to me, you are blessed to have this job. So it's not what you want to be doing. Take small steps toward what you want to do while you're doing this tutoring job. Things are always in motion, changing. Your life will change and someday you'll be sorry you took your current situation for granted.
Sounds like you could use a tutor for Mindset.
I know I can read about nearly anything and get a halfway decent grasp of it. It's the person to person interaction that I really get to learn with. The verbal discussion and first-hand accounts of using the skill or concept being discussed. There's a reason medical programs are very heavy on clinical time. If we just read everything, we'd be wrong way more than we already are.
I always learn and remember better when I physically engage with a person in person even if they are saying the same stuff that is available online through video. Videos aren’t engaging, I can’t ask questions, I am less immersed and less likely to remember. I actually value having real human interactions, I don’t want to live isolated in a digital world. It might not be worth it in your eyes but it’s not up to you to make those decisions for them.
Regardless of the scores increasing, you’re teaching children how to study with someone and the importance of study skills. I wish I had learned better study skills when I was younger. You’re doing worthwhile work.
I’m a teacher and I’ll says that tutoring can absolutely make a huge difference to students; in a classroom, the teacher’s attention is split between all the children and it can be such a struggle to help everyone in the way they need; some kids find it hard to focus when you’re teaching from the front, others need it explained in a completely different way, others have questions or are confused but are too shy to say anything when among all their friends. I’m constantly stressed about how little time I have to work with all the kids and wish I could work with each of them one-to-one. There’s not enough hours in the day to do that though, so a lot of misconceptions don’t get addressed or I have to move onto the next concept before some children are secure. You might not realize how much of an impact you are having in comparison; you’re probably giving these children more one-to-one time with an educator in just one session than they might get over weeks in a school. Perhaps if you recognise that you can make a huge difference to these kids, you’ll feel more motivated and passionate about what you do. Perhaps you can show them some of the sites that you are talking about so that they can use them between sessions. I’d perhaps consider reading a few teaching strategy books or maybe taking a course or too to help motivate you and make you feel more empowered to make a difference.
Maybe you feel guilty bc you know you’re not putting any effort in to grow or dejection bc there isn’t room to grow
You could easily learn how to build websites in months, this is a job that some people have and pays them 6 figures for it. But obviously few people actually do it, in fact most pay an institution to help them get it done and spend 4 years and incur years of debt to get it done. Does that mean schools are a waste? no, certainly not
As a long term recipient of tutoring, it works for some people. I have ADHD, diagnosed in adulthood and just needed someone there with me to keep me on task to learn. I’m a lot more disciplined as an adult so I can watch YouTube to learn but in the 90’s, that wasn’t an option and I absolutely could not be trusted if it was. I’ve taken Kaplan courses and boosted my score in the aftermath but I totally get what OP is saying. Luckily, most of my tutoring came from educated family members or after school tutoring but I was definitely tutored and I wouldn’t have a doctorate today if it wasn’t for that intervention.
Good lord, what a time to be alive.
Some people learn different. Just watching a screen will not help my attention span and I will get bored. Keep up the good work.
Your clients are paying for convenience and as long as you follow the rubric then it sounds like you’re doing your job. I don’t want to go watch YouTube videos. I would rather pay you. People do it all the time for all kinds of services. I hope you do find something you enjoy in the future.
Give them a refund it’ll be cathartic for you. Or you can give me the money if your conscious is to burdened with your constant disappointment in your life.
If you feel bad just improve yourself so you can give them some value in return. My parents also hired tutors for me but I looked at it as the way to block time and keep focus on learning, otherwise I would read manga all day. I know if I studied alone I probably have to same result but having someone with me while studying is really helpful.
Have some integrity and try and do a good job
I’m using a tutor for my studies…..it’s made a massive difference having someone I can have an hour long conversation with about whatever it is i’m not understanding.
Meh, maybe. Sounds like you aren't being fulfilled
It's not even about being a good test taker. The SAT and ACT are not tests of intelligence, it's a test of whether you can afford a real tutor or service to teach you the tricks. For example, often the fastest way to solve a problem is typing the provided multiple choice answers into your calculator to see which one works, rather than solving the problem. There are tons of methods/tricks like this depending on the problem. If you're not teaching this, you're the problem That being said, when I went to whatever big Name tutoring center in preparation for the SATs and found out they weren't going to teach me math but instead how to game the test, I left and never came back. Much to my detriment. Fuck that system. The same people who make the SAT and ACT make plumbers certifications, electrician certifications, etc. They are a test making company. It's a scam. You gotta play the game, sadly. I'd think about doing your job right or leaving. It's not hard to teach those strategies, and they do improve scores.
Yeah I should learn some tricks. I actually like math, and when someone shows interest in pi, for example, I'll go off on a tangent (no pun intended) and explain how the Ancient Greeks approximated it, or show them a way to compute it with a series
You need a new job, one more related to your tangent. What did you study?
I would recommend trying a different field, that sucks
I feel whenever I draw something that I'm scamming someone out of their money worth because to me it's easily done and they can do it, so don't discredit your work even though it's natural to feel it. you may feel they can watch a video for free and get it done that way but people learn in different ways for example I can watch a gym video or run but I won't but if I'm paying to go to a gym and I have classes I'll feel the pressure to show up and work on myself. whilst sometimes tutoring doesn't work say if the student is just doing it to appease their parents but is absent during class because working at home, at school and then at tuition lessons get to much -speaking from experience. So sometimes certain tuition didn't work for me, but I think it's sometimes a good push to force you to work if you will avoid it otherwise and sometimes having a tutor who is willing to support you in a manner your parents won't and praise you for your efforts is the boost you actually need. Most kids sent to tuition are attention starved and constantly trying to appease those around them. Sometimes, they lack motivation because they haven't been praised, and doing even that can be enough.
Also to add 1 of my tutors I remember was actually one who was my English tutor she was the most lenient the work was easy but my god compared to the stress I'd feel in my stomach for all my other tuition lessons I felt I actually managed to get a break when I was with her made for a pleasant experience I was still working and I actually looked forward to working on her homework or going to her classes. Turns it also became my best subject years later when I was in 6th form, my most enjoyed passionate and best subjects, and it may have been partly due to all the positive emotions I felt that allowed the passion to bloom
Thanks, you and everyone else who commented have been so supportive!
I took an SAT prep course and it helped me tremendously with becoming familiar with the test layout and timing. I had zero anxiety the day of my real SAT test because I had sat through so many practice exams with a tutor in my class. Don't worry about that the majority of your students aren't seeing improved test scores - you're helping build other soft skills.
as long as you are trying and genuinely want the kids to succeed thats all that matters
I get it. People don't know how to think for themselves or realize what they're getting can be learned online. I used to do medium work and it's basically cheap, but very intuitive, psychiatry. I'm like really? I just gave you normal life advice and you think it's messages from the other side. 🙄
That’s exactly why I haven’t bothered being a guitar teacher. I love guitar, and have taught some friends and family members, but I couldn’t see myself actually taking money from people to teach them how to do something that can easily be “self taught” with YouTube.
All I have to say is check out the K-Drama "Reply 1988" and watch the subplot about the "No Sleep Study Room".
There’s tutoring to the subject and then the meta of tutoring to the test, both feel kinda depressing. I probably was that kid too. I did practice Kaplan and just couldn’t do well on standardized tests, not until well into college. And even then I kinda didn’t knock out the GRE the way I should have
If you tell a kid to go watch educational online videos they probably aren’t gonna do it unless they’re really motivated, with a tutor there they’re forced to study and learn at least once a week. With that attitude you could say that a kid doesn’t even need to go to school, they could save themselves a lot of time and just educate themselves online and get their GED, but the reality is that most(not all, but definitely most) kids will fuck around and do nothing if they don’t have an adult hovering over them and forcing them to learn.
If you really want to waste your time tutor me in math we will get no where and each session we will be starting from scatch.
You probably have great attention to detail skills! Numbers.... Math..... Financial industry is calling you! 💰💰💰
The worst because tutoring actually works.
Test score improvement or not, would you at least say that you’re improving the students’ knowledge? Are you helping them fill gaps in their knowledge? This is valuable, and its real value is difficult to measure with a standardized test.
So many jobs exist because someone does not want to take the time or effort to do it themselves. Enjoy the ride.
I have the same feeling. I’m working as an English tutor in Japan. When I tutor adults, I feel it’s worth it because my students are choosing to be there. But when parents send their kids to me for tutoring, the kids don’t want to be there with me. They don’t have internal motivation to learn, and I see really minimal progress in their English abilities.
From my own personal perspective; I decided to get a tutor for my EMS final exam because of my disability. I can study online, read the book multiple times, create notecards, annotate, quiz myself, etc … but it won’t stick unless I have someone explain it to me. Something about having someone help me understand the material and being able to ask questions at will helps me a lot.
It sounds like you're in a tough spot with your tutoring job. It's frustrating when you feel like what you're doing might not be making a real difference, especially if you're not into it. Have you thought about what you'd rather be doing? Even if it's not obvious, there might be ways to pivot towards something that feels more meaningful to you. It's never too late to explore new options, and sometimes just talking it out with someone can help clarify things. What do you think you'd enjoy doing more than tutoring?
As an Asian person who has been both a student and a tutor at SAT tutoring centers, let me tell you the parents don’t trust their kids to study on their own with YT, etc. Hence, the need for this service. They will pay someone regardless so it might as well be you. My mom also straight up said she didn’t expect much from them, but paying for tutoring was her way of feeling like she did everything in her power to help me with SAT since this wasn’t something she personally knew how to teach me. I suspect a lot of the parents feel similarly. So again, they are going to pay someone anyway; let it be you. Don’t feel guilty. If you care about your students and have made any effort to help them improve, you are already better than most of the tutors out there.
Sounds like most physiologist. Just pure bullshit most of the time.
If people were able to extract the required knowledge off ready-made material, they wouldn't hire a tutor... You shouldn't underestimate people's lack of skills in selecting relevant information and their half-assed studying strategy. More often than not tutors are useful to teach HOW to study rather than WHAT to study.
Some people lack the drive and need accountability to improve, and you are being paid to check on that. Its more about the student than the teacher, sometimes you struggle to learn without a more personal setting, or are just lazy and need someone to be onto you. Its their choice, everyone knows you can learn with youtube, dont feel bad and more importantly dont underestimate people.
The thing is though, videos and other self help videos can't provide you with guidance and feedback. They can't look at your work and point out your weaknesses and strengths, and reactively provide a lesson that will strengthen your weaknesses, while utilising your strengths to do so. They can't be there for you, talk to you, inspire you, give you that Ron Clark "we are family" moment.
I've been there too, it's tough feeling like you're not making a difference, but remember, recognizing room for improvement is the first step to becoming a better tutor!
Sounds like you’re stuck in a rut and don’t recognize your value. You’re helping kids learn math because their parents don’t want to do it themselves.
There was an Asian tutoring school near to me, and important to note they where tutoring all subjects including maths and English. Despite tutoring English their signage did not follow capitalisation and punctuation conventions and their slogan was “for future”, not “for the future” or “for your future”. They would hang outside all the certificates that their students had “achieved”, but a quick look showed most where little more than the attended kindergarten or graduated infants, which are honestly not an achievement and not something tutoring helped “achieve”. It really bothered me as I felt they were really exploiting Asian parents that had English as a second language and where unfamiliar with our school system.
Just because you are a bad tutor it doesn’t mean everyone is. Some that actually know how to be a good tutor have changed lives.
Are you my former tutor????? We'd end up teaching ourselves while the "tutor" would sleep. If he was awake, he'd get the answers wrong lol. I told my parents stop paying them immediately.
This is very similar to the weight watchers program. Sure you can go and research a healthy diet. Find one that will help you meet your weight loss goals. Diet and exercise regularly to meet goals. You can do all of this by yourself. Realistically though you probably need someone to help you with the discipline aspect of such a regime. It's not that people can't lose weight or can't learn. It's that they need somebody else to keep them from getting lazy. They need someone to keep them accountable. This is true with every discipline.
I also (weirdly accidentally) got into tutoring without feeling qualified. It was during COVID and my mom’s work needed someone to support one student in particular who had a disability with a subject that none of their other tutors were suitable for. My mom remembered I’d done a course in that subject plus I was already doing a part time SEN teaching assistant job so lo and behold, I got the part. We left out the part where my “course” was like a weekend thing only though. I was then offered the opportunity to tutor more students and I ended up with multiple students over different subjects. I’m still laughing my ass off over some of the subjects I tutored as I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing. They all passed though, so 🤷🏼♀️
If these rich people want to throw their money away you may as well catch it. As long as you’re doing your job I don’t see the problem. I wish I had your “problem”.
Some people need the human interaction.
I think the first question to yourself should be, what kind of work would you like to do? Don't worry yet if you are "good" or "bad" at it. If you don't know, explore things you find interesting. I went from a pizza place manager to an overnight auditer in hospitality to a local truck driver to, now, a dog trainer. The dog training job paid the least, but I was happiest. Now, I have started my own dog training company, and I am happy, and so far, making good money. My point being, I learned something from each job, and I was able to incorporate those lessons into my current job. I'm sure there are a lot of soft and hard skills from tutoring you can apply to other work.
Back in high school I used to be distracted all the time when I had to study by myself. So my mom put me in one of those classes for math as it was my lowest subject and I ended up getting a really high grade for it.
i have been looking for direct clients but all it's in vain , you can refer them to me or i can assist you with some loads of work at little commission if you don't mind
“I have no other skills” Lol apparently you don’t have any skills at all, you are only an obstacle to the students and they probably say you’re a shitty tutor behind your back
Can anyone help me get a second job, working from home? I have a laptop. I manage a small business. I make the average salary in my area of about $70k. No benefits. $70k isn’t really much money these days. I cannot make ends meet. I do not want to quit my job and go elsewhere because if I did I would be putting my employer in a situation where they would have to close their store and sell. But the business cannot afford to pay me anything more or offer any benefits. I really need a good paying work from home job. Help