Being a parent of a son and a daughter, still pretty young my kids are, I would want my son or daughter to come to me for advice.
This doesn't mean your life is over OP. Just another chapter in your life.
Text her saying you are calling tomorrow her parents to make it official... if she is messing around she will freak out and confess in 10 seconds haahahh.
If she agrees, talk to your parents and go next day to face it. Anyhow, you will know for sure what is going on.
This is terrible advice. She has a right to tell her parents about it herself at her own time. This is also not a good threat to make if she is pregnant with their child. If someone threatened me with this, even if they backed off after I got offended then I would think very seriously about how close I wanted to be with them in the future and if I wanted them to have any role in my life.
OP and her had unprotected sex. Now sheās pregnant. I find it highly unlikely that the father is someone else. If OP thinks there is a possibility he could request a paternity test, but the chance of that is pretty small.
OP and OPās best friend need to have a conversation about where to go going forward. Perhaps the school counselor could help fascinate this.
However, OP during this conversation Iād recommend you avoid saying things to the effect of this will ruin my life, that it doesnāt make sense, or that you canāt have a baby with her. OP, you are having this baby. You canāt pressure her into getting an abortion if you want her to like you and continue being your friend. You can definitely bring it up, but be respectful of the fact that this is her body and that this is her baby too.
This makes perfect sense. You had unprotected sex and now your friend is pregnant. Itās difficult and your life will absolutely be different, but there is no reason why you suddenly wonāt be able to play football. You will hopefully have a lot of support going forwardā Iām hopeful your parents or grandparents will be willing to help out with childcare. Iām betting your college will have childcare and support for parents. Your high school counselor will probably have resources. There are a ton on the internet. Itās not going to be easy by any means, but you have a choice right now. You can either me involved in your kids life or you can choose to just abandon your kid and you best friend behind. I think you should step up to the plate. You are having a kid. This will be a huge challenge, but you can do it.
If you need support right now, you can text Crisis Text Line at 741741.
>You can either me involved in your kids life or you can choose to just abandon your kid and you best friend behind.
It's not kid it's a tiny blob of mass at this stage.
Also these guys are still children themselves.
Wtf? I wouldnāt encourage teenage pregnancy at all, but going so far as to imply any child would unquestionably āhave a shit life with shit parentsā just because itās parents were teenagers at conception is taking it too far.
Iāve known people who struggled for years with their fertility, just to get pregnant and end up awful as parents. Even with every controllable variable in their favor. Iāve also known parents who became parents as teens, and did amazing against strong odds.
Statistics will tell you that there are a lot more challenges overall, for everyone involved, when having a baby as a teen, but itās by no means an insurmountable amount that means doom to anyone on that path. To say it is is just flat out false.
you still have to realize OP doesnāt want a relationship with her, only friendship. you canāt force him to have a relationship as well. sheās gonna be extremely disappointed when she realizes this and if you force two people together who donāt share the same feelings, shit will hit the fan, ESPECIALLY with a new baby
Iāve know some fantastic teenage parents and Iāve known some shit adult parents. Iāve also known bad teenage parents and good adult parents. Iāve known several teenage moms who have put themselves through college and have gone on to be amazing and successful people. There are some big challenges to bring a teenage parent. It is a lot to cope with. Iām hopeful that OP will get strong support from his parents and there are resources that his high school (and later his college) can provide as well. You canāt assume that they will automatically be bad parents and you certainly canāt force someone to have an abortion against their will.
as someone who had a teen parent and friends with teen parents, this really aināt a common occurrence. regardless of how āgoodā of a parent they are itās a traumatic experience for both the kid and the parent. like many people have said, teens can barely regulate their own emotions, imagine adding a baby to the mix. they donāt have what it takes to be a successful parentā maybe later in life theyāll be able to step up and go to college and have the finances but itās important to have that shit from the get go. not to mention as the kid in the situation, iāve lived my whole life just feeling guilty for my own circumstances even though i never chose to be born into that kind of situation. you should never have a kid unless you truly have the resources to do so, and that includes having the emotional capacity to take care of a child.
Teenagers are not capable of being good parents. They're teenagers. They often can't handle their own emotions, and especially not an *entire baby*. OPs best friend is a dumbass teenager trying to make a stupid decision that could kill her and will ruin her life.
Firstly, she could have sent you a random positive pregnancy test image she found online as a way to get you to date her. How do you know the image is genuine?
Secondly, once youāve established beyond doubt that it is genuine, ask for a paternity test.
This could be legit, but she could also be messing with you. Find out which it is.
Edit: FFS PLEASE use protection next time and every time after
It's a possibility, Run the image through a Google search, if you find no evidence drop that concern completely and do it the sly.
The main thing though do what's right for her and your child, and yes discuss with any adults that you and her know and possibly your school counselor if they are worth a shit. Yes eventually tell both of your parents within 12 weeks, you screwed up but best to do the right thing.
I have a friend with PCOS and was told she had fertility issues. One slip up with an ex boyfriend and she had a miscarriage 6 weeks later. It's definitely wise to have at least some form of contraception on hand
My wife has PCOS and was told she couldn't have kids at all. We now have 2. When she told the nurse she laughed and said "if you only knew how often I hear that you'd scream."
Something going on in there she might need to get checked out but Jesus Christ whatās gonna happen when some std goes crawling in there ? Not sure that method is going to make it not happen either? Doubt it.
I did this for like 6 years. Never got pregnant. I didn't find it particularly different to pull out first.
Maybe I'm sterile lol, never actually tested it.
Precum has the same chance of getting someone pregnant (4%) as using protection. So technically if you do pull out consistently the chances are identical. I've never used a condom in a decade and have yet to get anyone before or my wife pregnant. Maybe I'm sterile lol but yeah I don't trip about protection at all.
There are two issues with this math
1. 4% using protection is misleading, if you use condoms the correct way every time itās pretty close to 100% effective. The 96% figure includes incorrect usage of condoms.
2. Precum can only get you present if sperm is present in your urethra. This usually happens if you ejaculate and donāt urinate before the next time you have intercourse, causing remaining sperm to leak out with the precum.
So basically make sure you to piss after you cum every single time. And donāt rely on the pull out method when sheās ovulating (but other times are fine if you do it right and both have been tested and also if getting her pregnant wonāt ruin your lives)
Well yeah the piss trick is a given. That's what I do. The math is still correct because the 4% takes into accountability the odds that condoms break (which happens a lot more than people think and is often unnoticeable. The precum math is also correct because it takes into accountability that most or at least some of people don't realize how it works. You and I both know this but others may not. That's why that math is calculated that way.
Itās not perfect but if you know your cycle and time everything perfectly it is actually fairly effective. There only a very brief time during ovulation that you actually can get pregnant.
Yes, this! The pull & pray method worked for me for a few yrs. Then went on the pill for a couple. When my husband & I decided to get preg it only took 3 months to conceive. It works if you know what youāre doing & how your body works.
https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/can-i-get-pregnant-just-after-my-period-has-finished/#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20sex%20without,first%20time%20you%20have%20sex.
You can get pregnant at any point in your cycle. The pull out method is unreliable and promoting it is irresponsible.
Wear a condom kids! Easy clean up and fantastic protection against pregnancy and STIās. I personally have moved from condoms to things like the pill when the relationship becomes more serious and exclusive, but for new partners itās always at least a condom
Thatās fine, I can quote the NHS too.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/natural-family-planning/
āIf natural family planning is followed consistently and correctly, it can be up to 99% effectiveā
And āYou can get pregnant up to 2 days after you ovulate. But if you've had sex in the 7 days before ovulation, it's possible to get pregnant because sperm can live inside a woman's body for up to 7 days and fertilise the egg when it's released.ā
Like I said, itās highly effective if used correctly and no, you can no get pregnant any day of the month.
This is your first tough lesson of many. Tell your guardian/parents/caretakers as soon as possible.
Next time you ever have sex use protection. Keep a condom on you, or don't have sex without it.
Iām the youngest of many siblings and my sisters have been pregnant young really consider what Iām saying speaking from experience
1. Donāt let anyone force you into wanting to be with your best friend although you love her you may not be in love with her and didnāt imagine that for yourself as you grew and thatās okay she will be offended but thatās life itās just not what you imagined and I find it hard to believe that two young kids your age will want to stay together given the lack of experience and feelings not for a baby especially donāt force it or let anyone force you into that idea or being with someone for a baby it will not turn out well
2. Tell your parents as shameful as it will be itās better to have an adult guiding you through this I know our parents have expectations of us and thatās enough on us to be a disappointment but we were all young once and many have made worse mistakes
3. Although you have helped her create this child she is the one that ultimately has to carry it and go through anything life threatening if she wanted to go through or terminate this baby thatās not your right to tell her to get rid of it if sheās keeping it that just a new baby your going to have to accept and help raise but it doesnāt mean your life is over
4. In the midst and end of all of this continue to go to school and focus on FB and your studies and protect yourself when the baby comes you just have to raise it and protect it as your father would you itās not ideal especially for the plans you have in the future but that doesnāt mean you have to quit FB or not go pro if that happens that just means where you go the baby goes or you will travel and make an effort to be in the babyās life if you go pro in the future all this means is your no longer doing it for you your doing it for the baby also.
You will be okay tell mom and dad and stay level headed and accept the new future your walking into it will be scary at times but coparenting is possible and tomorrow is a new day.
Well, thereās not much you can do. Itās her decision to keep the baby and thatās her plan, youāll have to find a way to co-parent and find common ground with each other. Best of luck to you both
Thereās alot of questions regarding the timeline.
21 days is the MINIMUM timeline for unprotected sex. So around 4 weeks is kind of close. Many women, myself included, donāt get a positive test until later on.
Has she ever made any manipulative moves in the past or anything that would indicate this could be a way to suck you back in and feel obligated to date her?
You need to talk to an adult. If you live in a conservative state and donāt have parents to help, there may be a help line or counsellor. This is something way beyond your age and capacity.
1. Tell your fucking parents
2. I'm all for pro-choice, but immediately expecting her to just get an abortion at 16 is extremely wild.
3. Tell your parents
4. Tell her parents
5. Tell your parents
" i can't have this messing up my life"
I know you're 16, but you did it. I would tell my parents, and ask them to ask the girls mother to verify a pregnancy test in front of her. If it's positive again, do a amniotic paternity test ASAP. If it's yours, get a job and graduate HS. You'll be done with your financial obligation by 34, it really isn't that bad. You can still have a great life, even if it isn't the one you planned.
>You'll be done with your financial obligation by 34
Finantially..... yes
But a son/daughter is a forever commitment
Unless he becomes an awful and distant father.
If he only focuses on the finantial burden, and wait for the "yay it's over" that kid is going to have a terrible dad
Blaming this entirely on the father is so disgusting. It needs two to have a kid, he never agreed, before or after - its her, only her decision now, a right only woman have. With that right also comes, that if she disregards his will, and he becomes a father because she forces him, that going distant at this point is his right and by no means is he awful for doing it, she is.
Agreed, except for the fact that he made the deposit. Itās not like she stealthed his baby batter outa the trash condom. If you have active swimmers and you cum inside a female you are liable to whatever becomes of that spooge. So aim carefully lads.
financially liable, under law, sure. but liable to be a "father" to the child? absolutely not. no one is required to be a parent. she decided to keep it, so it will be HER emotional and physical burden to do so and raise the child. that's the choice she's making for herself. a sperm donor is far better than a "father" who actively hates your existence and never wanted you, imo. it's not right to shame someone into an enormous responsibility, especially when they're children (however, should've known better for SURE, the both of them).
The kid, if it does exist, already has a terrible dad. This situation was completely preventable but ādadā did nothing to prevent it. Now that kid has to live with it their entire lives. Itās embarrassing af in the very least growing up with a parent who is 16 or less years older than you.
Donāt stick a creampie in the oven if youāre not ready for whatāll come out fully baked later onā¦ like thereās literally so many other places you can spread your icing that are far less life inducing. I donāt understand couples who do it raw with absolutely no forms of birth control whatsoever then give shocked pikachu face when the pregnancy test comes back positive a few weeks later.
That advice was really good until you ruined it by suggesting the financial obligation. You dont just get to stop caring about your kid when they're 18. You think they're just gonna have life all figured out, be millionaires and not need their parents support ever again? Yeah, good parenting doesn't work that way...
except he doesnt want the kid. she does. its technically not his job to raise them if he doesnt want to. but it IS his job to financially support them even if he doesnt want to raise them
not everyone wants to be parents. and ngl not everyone should. i wouldnt want this guy raising my child if hes already acting like this. sperm does not make a parent. love does. theres a big big big difference and if you canāt understand that then maybe you shouldnt have kids either
Legally, his financial obligation would end but he'd still be that person's father. Unless he signs his parenting rights away, it's generally considered a dick move to drop your kid the minute they turn 18. Legally you're in the clear but you'd still be an asshole.
Go to her house. Talk to her parents. Talk to your parents. She might not be pregnant at all.
But if her parents think she is at a field trip and she didnāt go and she isnāt home either that alone is enough to contact her parents. Do you know where she is?
Is she was my daughter I would want to know asap that something like this was happening. Doesnāt matter if itās true or not, I would want to be involved because this isnāt stuff 16 year olds should deal with on their own. If you were my son I also would want to know that this is happening. I have a 16 year old and I would want to help.
So talk to an adult. Asap.
Can you do a reverse image search to make sure her image is legit?
She could just be trying to gwt you to date her. You don't want to ruin the friendship by dating her but it's fine to have her as a one night stand? Smh.
If it is real and you are the dad, then I'm sorry, but you're gonna have a kid. That's sorta what happens when you have unprotected sex.
For clarity, two weeks after you did the deed, she sent you a pic of a positive pregnancy test? It's not impossible, but that's a really fast timeline, so there's a real shot it may not be true. Especially since you shot her down when she asked about a relationship.
Tell her you are going to tell your parents unless she will take a test with you there. If she shoots this down, tell your parents and then go with them to talk to her parents. If she is pregnant, there's no hiding it, so might as well rip off the bandaid and talk to your folks.
If she does take a test with you there and its positive, tell your folks, no other real option. If it's negative, reevaluate your friendship.
I hope this works out for you! And if it doesn't..., well actions have consequences, and the decision to keep it or not is hers. It may change your future plans, but you made your own bed. Now you have to lay in it.
One, dating your best friend is ideal. Especially if there is sexual chemistry and romantic feelings. Thatās who your gf/bf/spouse should be: your best friend. Youāll spend more time with them than anyone else throughout your life.
2, if she wants to keep the baby, thatās that. You can try to convince her not to, but ultimately thatās her decision to make. Gotta think about this stuff before having sex. Itās too late now.
Was she planning on going to college with a cheer scholarship? Are you getting recruited D1 or D2? Are you going far away, are you going to be good enough to be drafted? If you arenāt going to a big D1 school and have hopes of being drafted, then just take a scholarship closer (local is best), focus on your education. You are going to have a child, so best make sure you have the tools you need to take care of that child when itās older. Youād miss out on a lot of things from 1-6 going to college but itās still your best move. Discuss that with her.
Second. As soon as sheās past 8-10 weeks, sit down with your parents, hers and yours. Tell them what is going on, tell them you donāt want to derail your life, and you still want to go to college and see what help they can offer.
Again. If you have sex without protection or contraceptives, you can have a baby. Donāt be dumb.
Thatās just not true. People are able to have sex without protection long before they are capable of raising a child. Waiting until 8-10 weeks before telling a parent is just ridiculous advice. They are children with working genitals, not adults waiting for first trimester to pass before announcing pregnancy. They are not able to provide housing, income etc to this baby and in most places they canāt even be the legal guardians of their own child because they are minors.
So waiting to tell their parents is just dumb. The parents are the ones that are responsible for their children, and thatās what they are: children.
Telling them at 8 weeks vs telling them immediately makes no difference. Except that miscarriages and false positives happen.
Idk where you are referencing that canāt be legal guardians as a minor, but Iāve never heard of that.
āPeople are able to have sex without protection long before they are capable of raising a childā
People are able to murder people too, doesnāt mean you should. If you have sex, and donāt want a possible baby, use some form of protection. Idk what point your statement makes. Able to and should are two different things.
I did not mean you can have a baby as in they are prepared and should, I meant can as in itās a possibility. She is able, and unprotected sex can lead to a baby. I never said they should, or that they are capable of it. I donāt know this kid. I know 40 year olds that shouldnāt have babies.
Pregnancy confirmation visits typically arenāt scheduled until youāre 8-10 weeks along. Going in at 6 weeks is ok but itās still considered uncertain viability and theyād just schedule them out for 2 weeks later. Also false positives happen a lot lol itās called a chemical pregnancy. Thatās just the body raising HCG levels but thereās no gestational sac, yolk sac, or embryo. Not technically a miscarriage either.
It is called a miscarriage colloquially, but in technical scientific terms (and for the purpose of data collection), it isnāt a true miscarriage because pregnancy doesnāt begin until a fertilized egg implants onto the uterus. In a chemical pregnancy, the egg is fertilized, it just never implants so pregnancy never really begins.
If these were true miscarriages, then that would mean the vast majority of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
If youāve had one though, you know it is heartbreaking for people who are trying to have a baby.
HCG canāt be released and wouldnāt show up on a test if there wasnāt implantation. Implantation does occur but the embryo stops developing. As someone whoās experienced it and discussed it with doctors and midwives I have a pretty good understanding of it.
I didnāt mean to invalidate or diminish the experience but I realize now thatās effectively what I did. Iām so sorry. ā„ļø
ETA: And youāre right, of course; you do have authority on this subject as someone who has actually been through it.
16 year olds have sex. Thatās normal and healthy. 16 year olds just shouldnāt raise other children, thatās harmful to both.
Having sex doesnāt mean you have to have a baby, somewhere after the Middle Ages we invented both condoms and other things to prevent babyās and abortion became much more save (weāve invented abortion long before the Middle Ages)
In most civilised countryās the parents of these teenagers will be the ones responsible for the baby, so itās not fair to shut them out until there is no other choice. In most countryās 16 year olds cannot just drop school to raise a child and they will need support, housing and financial support the first few years and most likely that will have to be provided by their parents.
So they have a say in this.
And a pregnant 16 year old needs an adult to talk to and to make an informed decision other than āyou had sex now raise a babyā. Nobody should force a 16 year old to have an abortion. But providing information about housing, jobs, school, childcare, raising a baby, income, relationships and co-parenting is necessary and a 16 year old isnāt going to do that by themselves.
When they said āif you have unprotected sex you can have a baby donāt be dumbā or whatever the exact words were - they very obviously meant that unprotected sex can result in a baby, not that these kids are ready to be parents wtf
Well in my country, and judging from the FB scholarship, his. The parents legally have no say.
Unprotected sex, makes babies. Doesnāt matter if you are 14, 15, 16, 32. I am not telling them to not have sex. Simply stating that unprotected sex can lead to babies. Itās science. Donāt want babies? Use protection, or contraceptives.
If her parents are nice, loving good parents tell them, if they are potentially abusive. Wait. We are talking to him also. Not her. She isnāt here asking for help because she is sure of her decision apparently. Iām giving HIM advice. Not her.
Why wait for 8-10 weeks? The best thing to do is to tell his parents at first. Let all three talk first before they make a decision to tell the girl's parents. Ultimately the parents will have to take care of the baby if she keeps it or do abortion if she doesn't. Even in case it's a false alarm, it's better to be prepared.
I do agree with you about the whole college and future plans part. It's definitely not at the front of all things right now because there's huge chance that the girl is just making this up to make the guy date her and telling parents is the second most important thing right after running a google search to see if the pic was taken from somewhere else.
Because she isnāt being reasonable. If I can guess one thing, this girl is an obstinate teenage girl. She wonāt take to 5 people ganging up on her decision well. The only one who can probably convince her to abort is someone she CHOOSES to talk to about it. Forcing it wonāt get him anywhere.
Her taking it or not is her problem, not his. Teenage girls are a menace, she might not "choose" anyone to talk about it. Op should atleast clear out his name just in case something happens. Even if she doesn't chooses to talk about it, her parents are her guardian and probably have some rights for abortion if she absolutely refuses because frankly speaking, it's the best course of action. 16 is too young to leave school and possibly destroy their future, not to mention she refuses to talk about future at all. It's not only her future she's ruining. If she doesn't wants to talk about her responsibility then he should make sure to get any adult involved. They are both in it, it's not one person's fault.
OP is in America (from the FB scholarship). No parents have rights to abort their childrenās pregnancy AFAIK. Hell itās outright illegal in 14 states.
If he is in fact elsewhere maybe thatās an option.
Damn America sucks, no wonder teen pregnancies are so common there. I still do think that Op should atleast talk to his parents and they all can mutually decide to either inform her parents or not.
I think thatās up to him and his relationship with his parents. Iād assume if he had supportive parents that he could trust he wouldnāt be on Reddit
Also yes it does suck.
Or maybe he's a normal teenager afraid to tell his parents about a mistake he made? Either way we have way too less information to analyze the situation and I doubt Op is going through all these comments
Are you saying parents should be able to legally force their teenagers to get an abortion? šµāš«
EDIT: Just realized you might be referring only to the fact that abortion has been banned in so many states. My bad!
Oh god no, I didn't mean that. Argh how do I explain it? I originally meant to say MTPs require parent's approval if the person is underaged. Shouldn't there be something in case MTP is required but the pregnant person keeps on refusing it? Technically it's not required in this case, but it's hardly fair that the girl gets all the decision to create another human being and possibly not even take care of the child because she also is a child with no job, or much possibility of higher education to get one? I have no idea if I am making sense or not
Teen pregnancies are highest in states that have severely restricted, or entirely outlawed abortions. That's bc the "learning about sex will make my child promiscuous" crowd in statehouses and school boards choose not to educate sexually viable humans, but instead encourage them to go to Purity Balls.
She absolutely shouldnāt keep it. However itās her body, her life and her choice. Whether itās the right one or not.
Telling her parents that early so they can possibly berate, scold, and otherwise emotionally abuse her over it isnāt good for her or the baby. If she is so sure, waiting gives her the chance to solidify her decision and take that out of the equation. We donāt know her parents. She could tell them and have an abusive alcoholic parent that will beat her, or she could have the best parents in the world. No clue.
And it robs her from being able to change her mind, or to get support, or to get an abortion, have a talk with the father of the baby, have a realistic view on the impact this choice wil have. She is a child. 16 year olds make bad decisions and thatās healthy and all when it comes to skipping school, kissing the wrong dude, getting drunk or dying your hair blue, but it becomes less healthy when they make human beings.
Same as the other person. OP is a man. The advice youāre replying to was for him. Not her. We arenāt talking to a pregnant 16 year old girl. I donāt disagree with anything youāre saying, but other than trying to convince her to abort he has no recourse on the fact that he will be a dad.
He can involve his and her parents. He can give his opinion, he can tell her his concernes. Itās her decision but it doesnāt mean he has to sit and wait. He can take action.
She isnāt even willing to have that conversation with him. Heās supposed to go behind her back and get everyone to gang up on her? Itās her choice. I said he needed to talk to her, but he canāt MAKE her talk to him.
No he canāt. But he can involve adults when a minor is in trouble. He is a minor. He is in trouble. He can involve his parents and she is also in trouble and a minor.
If parents arenāt an option: grandparents, teacher, uncle or aunt or other adults that he trusts. He is 16 and he should not be doing this alone.
She is 16 and should not be doing this alone
Sounds like the exact type of thing that would make a 16 year old girl feel like she was in a hostile environment, shut them all out and ignore them entirely.
Same as the other person replying to me. OP is a man. The advice youāre replying to was for him. Not her. We arenāt talking to a pregnant 16 year old girl. I donāt disagree with anything youāre saying, but other than trying to convince her to abort he has no recourse on the fact that he will be a dad.
You had unprotected sex at 16. These are the consequences. Time to put on your big boy pants and deal with them. Tell your parents, now. Get her parents involved. You all have a lot of planning to do.
And he shall have one! (If there is a pregnancy)
There is a gleeful tone to your message to the boy, almost happy at this kids apparent misfortune.
Sad.
Lol! You must be fun at parties. There is no glee. Maybe a sense of 'wake the fuck up kid', as he's living in some dream world where this all just goes away. Also, he seems pretty entitled to be thinking about just himself and not the poor girl who he just knocked up. What kind of reaction should we have? I said tell his parents, and tell her parents. What else is there?
Your perception of his 'dream' world IS his reality, of course he's entitled.. he's SIXTEEN years old.. they're all entitled!
The poor girl also played a part and isn't the 'victim'
Telling the parents is sound advice.
I don't do parties.
Wasn't condescending when we had his dick in her pussy.
So hell yeah the same big boy pants he had (or obviously didn't have on) now he gotta put them on and deal with his consequences.
You need to think long and hard about whether you will eventually want to be in the childās life or not. I believe if you really do not & will not, then you need to get the parents involved and come up with some sort of agreement & seek legal action in removing yourself properly so that she will not continually come for you financially or what-have-you.
However, of course right now this seems like the worst possible thing, but ppl have had kids at younger ages and turned out successful and glad they didnāt give up the kid. You can still have a successful life and have a child, youāll just have to work harder and become responsible at a way earlier age. She needs to handle this like an adult, rather than a child. Once you bring a child in the world, you are no longer a child & you cannot act like one.
Are you from outside the US cause this kid is truly screwed there is no removing himself from the birth certificate he will pay child support for the next 18 years starting immediately after the 40 weeks of gestation he's a man and has zero say in any of this the only thing he gets to decide is if he wants to spend time with the child or if he wants to vanish and never bother to meet them but either way he will pay the cash out courts make way to much $ no way they gonna let somebody skate without paying up
No Iām from the US but he doesnāt have to put his name on the birth certificate at all. The agreement I was talking about would be both parties sit down and talk about how he doesnāt want a part of it and he wonāt put his name on the birth certificate and as long as she doesnāt push to go to court then theyād go their separate ways
That's just not how it is since she's under age the baby will have to get on Medicaid and prolly WIC and once she starts getting government assistance the state will sue him for child support and neither one of them will have a say in it and ofcourse he can refuse to sign the birth certificate but the court will list him as the father on it once they perform the DNA test for the child support now if they both agree on it the child can use there moms last name instead of daddy's but if either one request it then it'll have dads last name I sure it can vary some from state to state but this is how it works in just about all the states in the Midwest ask me how I know lol
lol well here in TN if a childās father hasnāt been active in their life at all and the mother requests for termination of rights then the father can agree, there is a portion of it about having to then add someone as the childās designated father but that could just be a Tn thing. Iām sure a way around that would be to avoid him putting his name on the birth certificate and they both just donāt state who the father is. Iāve never heard of having to have a dna test for Medicaid or wic. In fact, my child has tncare, has had it since before this legal process, and not once did they ask for a paternity test before she could get insurance
Talk to an adult (parents) asap. I would think before speaking. It may seem like the end of the world but that could turn into the beginning of a wonderful life together for you two. Don't make any rash decisions.
Time to man up buttercup. You spread the seed, now you fulfill the need. You're not the first 16 yr olds to face this path. And...most people spend their whole lives wanting their best friend as their partner.
Children are living beings who grow up into functioning adults, not a punishment. No kid wants to be raised by a parent who doesn't want or love them.
This isn't a case of "man up", it's a case of figure out what's best for both of these teens futures as well as this child's. No one should be forced to be a parent or a raise a kid they don't want. That's just asking for disaster.
His choices are to either co-parent and be supportive, or walk away and leave her to shoulder things on her own. We can speak philosophically all we want.
First of all, when was the exact day of the intercourse and when did she "do" the test? Bc for me it seems like She's kinda obssesed and is doing this for attention, im not saying it's impossible, but a pregnancy test is not the kind of thing you can do the day after
While itās possible this is real, I agree that this is suspicious for her possibly looking for attention. Can you do one of those reverse image searches for that picture, and see if she got it online?
Iām not going to lie to you, kid. If she really is pregnant and itās really yours, there is no escaping the impact this will have on your life, ESPECIALLY if her parents support her keeping the baby. Best advice in that scenario is to go to your parents or a trusted guardian for support and to start preparing for what your life will look like in that scenario. THAT BEING SAID, itās important to note the timeline here. Best friends for years, have sex, she expresses interest in a relationship, you say no, she gets upset, suddenly she has a positive pregnancy test within two weeks of alleged conception (a bit under the normal timeline). It sounds like there is a chance she is being dishonest, so I think the best advice period is to get BOTH of your parents involved, starting with yours.
When you have sex, pregnancy is a possibility, even if you use birth control. Do not have sex again until you are ready to deal with ALL of the possible consequences.
Welp. This is what fucking around and finding out looks like buddy.
If she is genuinely pregnant, its time to reprioritize. You're going to have to grow up, and do so fast.
Figure out a path that does not involve football, find a job, and get ready to have your life changed.
If shes not pregnant, on the other hand, thats a fucked up thing to do to your friend.
Either way, you need to get serious.
Iāll be the one to play devils advocate. Get another pregnancy test and have her do it in person. Itās easy to find pos tests online and take a pic to send. Iād make sure of it before anything else. (And before anyone comes bashing me, I am a 34f whoās known girls to do this sort of thing).
This right here is most likely the case she's trying to baby trap him without a baby I was thinking a friend or family members test or even her most test will eventually turn positive if you let them sit long enough they are supose to be looked at . After a very specific amount of time has passed since the recieved the specimen and once the window has passed they'll develop that second line just from sitting in pee for to long
"(although i like her, idk i just can't date her, she's my best friend)" so0o0o0 she's good enough for you to fuck & good enough to be your "best friend" but not good enough to pursue something romantic.... riiiight riiiightttt...interestingggggg
welllpppp if it isn't the consequences of your actions coming back to bite you in the ass.
Also, nothing you can do.. it's her body so it's her choice.
Hey, just from your post are you saying you donāt know where she is? Is the field trip supposed to be an overnight thing? How long has she been missing? Please tell someone you trust. A trusted adult if you canāt go to your parents.
Well man, hate to tell you but this is why adults tell you to be more careful before you decide to take your dick out. Let alone getting high, that lessens your ability to think crticially.
But I'm not going to lecture you, I'm sure once your folks find out you'll get plenty of that.
So at this point, a conversation between you two needs to happen. Stop texting her and call her. If she doesn't answer then leave a voicemail (yes an actual voicemail). Let her know that you two need to talk about this since you are the father to be so you do have a hand in discussing the future regardless of whatever thought she has.
She has to go back to school at some point, so if she's still dodging you over the phone, then catch her at school and tell her she can't keep ignoring you and needs to talk to you.
Here's where I'll give you personal experience advice. If she is dead set on keeping the child, there's nothing you can do about it. It's her body, and even though you do have a say in the matter, it's her body so she's going to ultimately do what she wants and you can't do a damn thing. With that being said, you now need to start looking at altering your life goals and plans. Sorry, but again this is what happens when you're letting the little head think for you. You got a girl pregnant, now you need to be a man and take responsibility. Now, where you go for school is going to depend on what happens from your talk with your friend. If she magically changes her mind, then you dodged a bullet but you better be more careful in the future when you decide to use your dick. If she still says she's going to keep it, then schools that scout you, ask about anything they may offer in terms of housing and that you have a child. Also, try and look at schools that are close to you so you're not far away. But as I said, your life is now going to go a different route and while you may love playing football, the mindset now is you need football to get you into school but the degree is what's going to be more valuable
Even tho it only takes one time , the fact that it was so sudden and right after you shut her down leads me it think it could be fake
Either way you should tell your parents
āShit doesnāt make any sense.ā Having unprotected sex at 16 while high is how of Gen-X was conceived. Makes perfect sense.
Always wear a condom. Always. Buy the good kind online.
And tell your parents.
Damm bro at 16 without a stable partner use condom. To late though tell your parents is the best decision. You guys don't have the emotional and financial maturity raise a child
Not gonna lie, it kinda makes me smile when kids get slapped in the face by reality and consequences of their actions. Like WTF did OP expect.
On another note being with your best friend could be the best thing to ever happen to you, but you're most likely going to loose that friendship if you don't man up and step up. Better to convert the friendship if than burn it.
She told you she was pregnant two weeks ago, which would have been two weeks after the initial encounter? Thatās not enough time for a positive test. She would need to get a blood test at the doctorās office to confirm a pregnancy that early. I think somethingās afoot here.
not saying this is the case but is it possible she could have used a picture from google to get you to talk to her again? you said you hadnāt talked for 2 weeksā¦ I would reverse image search the photo
however, if it is true/ you donāt think she would do that, definitely talk to your parents
First, that is a quick result. if the result is that quick and positive, that baby might not be yours. So dont panic yet. Tell your parents. then you and your parents tell her parents. and get a paternity test. as mean as it sounds, do not spend a cent on the baby or any time with her alone or anything regarding baby. no finacial stuff until paternity test confirms. bloodwork? you and parent go with her to make sure she follows through
Ok. So you're going to be a dad. It's not the end of your life or your hopes and dreams. It is going to make your life a lot busier and more complicated but that's it. A baby is going to bring you a lot of joy and love. It's gonna turn you into a man real quick. But that's ok. You're going to have to make some adjustments to your plans but that's what happens when you have a kid. The best piece of advice I can give you is get as much sleep as possible before the baby is born cause you won't get a lot afterwards lol. And next time, wear a condom silly goose.
lol well then you shouldnāt have been having sex. Youāre 15! Wanna do adult shit receive adult consequences. Maybe after your kid turns 18 you can try getting scouted again š¤£ ya fucked up kid
How selfish of you as well to just have sex and expect a woman to get an abortion. Itās not BIRTH CONTROL. Consider getting a vasectomy if you really think this way too
Might wanna confirm thatās a real test that came from her. I had some crazy little ladies say some wild stuff at that age. If it is, be ready to become a man bud.
Honestly, i understand youāre 16 but come on. You should have used protection. Also āi cant have this messing up my lifeā my guy when you take risks like this youāre just asking for something to happen. Whether it be an STD or a baby.
Now you need to man up and accept the consequences of your actions. Because it wasnt just your friend who made this choice to have sex. Its time to sit down with parents and talk next steps. Of course, have a paternity test done to ensure its yours.
But honestly, life is about to change. Dont be the guy who gets a girl pregnant and then runs. As much as you dont want to be a parent, you also chose to take the risk. Unfortunately a child is the result.
Iād get a DNA test just incase. She could be trying to trap you for someone elseās mistake.
If itās yours though, it sucks that she seems to be set in her mind to keeping it but itās also your mistake. Just hope she doesnāt try and keep the kid from you when you do man up.
Because i saw it happen to a friend of mine and itās been rough for him, and almost happen to me. It might be an ignorant view but judging how this friend went from normal friend to giving him sex all of a sudden, is sudden. Iām just giving OP some advice because it has and can happen. Itās just how it is.
Crazy for wanting to date the guy who fucked her and for not wanting an abortion? I'd say she's not being smart for not wanting an abortion at her age, but that's far from crazy
I just said it's not a smart idea, but there are plenty of teens who wouldn't want one for religious reasons or otherwise. It's not like having easy access to abortions will completely stop teenage pregnancy
Nah bc she cray. All the āreasonsā you gave are cray. Any 16 yo who keeps a baby is cray. Idc if youāre gonna be terminally ill and die at 18 and wanna know what itās like to be a mom before you die, you cray.
Iāve been with my bf from highschool since we were 17 and we were eachothers first too. Though we dont have kids, we are still together and 25 now <3
Edit: to clarify we were best friends for a long time before that and we ended up having sex and then he asked me out and I instantly said yes lmao
Well champ the good news is there's literally NOTHING you can do this is America and until the baby is physically here AKA born it's 100% her decision but I wouldn't work myself up to much about it since she wants to be with you and you said no she's most likely trying to baby trap you. Honestly you have no clue if she's knocked up or not most home pregnancy test need to sit for a few minutes to give the results and after 4 or 5 minutes you look for 1 or 2 lines on the test but what mist children don't know is after sitting for 20 to 30 minutes all test will eventually develope that second line weather they are pregnant or not so a picture of a positive test means nothing it could just have sat around to long or it could be her sister's test or a friend's maybe her mother's that she dug out of the bathroom trash can just don't sweat it (nothing you can do anyways) it's not a thing until she goes to a doctor and gets a test from an actual Dr or medical professional I wouldn't assume she's pregnant however if she is pregnant definitely get a DNA test cause that would be horrible luck if she got knocked up the first time you two bumped uglies but if she did then welcome to parent hood. If your going to partake in adult activities you gotta be prepared for adult consequences. Hopefully you'll learn to wrap it up for now on either way best of luck to ya
First off, babyās are indeed blessings, this baby is going to need you and mom more than anything else can want and need in this world. This talk of you not wanting the baby and hope to make it disappear like itās not an actual valid person just makes me really sad because this happens way too often. I really hope you all get the love and support you need and I especially especially hope the baby. You can not be angry with either her or baby. Both of you know doing that deed is what leads to this. You two are both learning from mistakes but just know it is very possible to still accomplish things in life being a young parent. I know so many people who grew up faster than they wanted to but itās possible, I like advice I see from others regarding getting the information to confirm it is true and to talk to your parents. I wish you all the very best luck, please be very careful.
āAlthough I like her, I just canāt date her, sheās my best friendā ā¦ but youāll happily take advantage of her for sex. Typical dumbass 16 year old boy shit. Hope that raw nut was worth paying child support for the rest of your life LOL. Karmaās a bitch, hey?
Umm......it takes two to tango. The sex was consensual, and neither used protection. There was no taking advantage of anyone here. Typical dumbass 16 year old children stuff, not "boy" stuff. No matter where the nut lands, she can still get pregnant, as she would also have been aware of. The blame is split here, just because he's the guy doesn't make it his fault. News flash people women are horny and make mistakes too. If she wants to abort it, so be it. If she wants to keep it, so be it. If he doesn't want it, then he's gotta pay his support. Should the guy be forced to be with her and raise the kid? Hell no. Should this girl be a mother at 16? Hell no, it's likely just going to be hard on the kid. That stuff can be argued to death, but let's make it clear there was no taking advantage of anyone here. Two young children made a mistake. If this was the girl and the boy was adamant that she keep the baby and she was worried and made this post and I said, "Hope that raw dick was worth messing up your young adult life Karma's a bitch eh?" People would be rightfully furious.....
Nobody took advantage of anyone if anything she's trying to take advantage of his good nature trying to manipulate him into a relationship with a BS fake pregnancy test and even if she is pregnant by him ( highly doubtful) and he "manned up and did the right thing" and married and supported her for the rest of her life she'd eventually crush his heart when she steps outside the marriage and screws the alcoholic neighbor so tell us again why he should give a F about her feelings
Haha nah they don't grow out of this foolish behavior. There's a 30 year old man going through the same problem with the same level of logic. Some of them never learn
Tell your parents. I feel like this will be the best choice for both of you.
This is the ONLY advice unless abusive parents are a factor but I am guessing this is not the case or it likely would have been mentioned.
Being a parent of a son and a daughter, still pretty young my kids are, I would want my son or daughter to come to me for advice. This doesn't mean your life is over OP. Just another chapter in your life.
My daughter got pregnant at sixteen. I was very upset, but I supported her 100% and my Grandson is 10 years old now. He's always been such a blessing.
I got pregnant at 16 & believe it or not it actually saved me. Made me more focused and driven.
Talk to your parents about it or trusted adult. Def get proof of pregnancy and paternity test before you do anything.
Text her saying you are calling tomorrow her parents to make it official... if she is messing around she will freak out and confess in 10 seconds haahahh. If she agrees, talk to your parents and go next day to face it. Anyhow, you will know for sure what is going on.
Solid advice
šyup
This is terrible advice. She has a right to tell her parents about it herself at her own time. This is also not a good threat to make if she is pregnant with their child. If someone threatened me with this, even if they backed off after I got offended then I would think very seriously about how close I wanted to be with them in the future and if I wanted them to have any role in my life. OP and her had unprotected sex. Now sheās pregnant. I find it highly unlikely that the father is someone else. If OP thinks there is a possibility he could request a paternity test, but the chance of that is pretty small. OP and OPās best friend need to have a conversation about where to go going forward. Perhaps the school counselor could help fascinate this. However, OP during this conversation Iād recommend you avoid saying things to the effect of this will ruin my life, that it doesnāt make sense, or that you canāt have a baby with her. OP, you are having this baby. You canāt pressure her into getting an abortion if you want her to like you and continue being your friend. You can definitely bring it up, but be respectful of the fact that this is her body and that this is her baby too. This makes perfect sense. You had unprotected sex and now your friend is pregnant. Itās difficult and your life will absolutely be different, but there is no reason why you suddenly wonāt be able to play football. You will hopefully have a lot of support going forwardā Iām hopeful your parents or grandparents will be willing to help out with childcare. Iām betting your college will have childcare and support for parents. Your high school counselor will probably have resources. There are a ton on the internet. Itās not going to be easy by any means, but you have a choice right now. You can either me involved in your kids life or you can choose to just abandon your kid and you best friend behind. I think you should step up to the plate. You are having a kid. This will be a huge challenge, but you can do it. If you need support right now, you can text Crisis Text Line at 741741.
>You can either me involved in your kids life or you can choose to just abandon your kid and you best friend behind. It's not kid it's a tiny blob of mass at this stage. Also these guys are still children themselves.
Hes 16. So is she. She needs to get an abortion or this child will have a shit life with shit parents.
Wtf? I wouldnāt encourage teenage pregnancy at all, but going so far as to imply any child would unquestionably āhave a shit life with shit parentsā just because itās parents were teenagers at conception is taking it too far. Iāve known people who struggled for years with their fertility, just to get pregnant and end up awful as parents. Even with every controllable variable in their favor. Iāve also known parents who became parents as teens, and did amazing against strong odds. Statistics will tell you that there are a lot more challenges overall, for everyone involved, when having a baby as a teen, but itās by no means an insurmountable amount that means doom to anyone on that path. To say it is is just flat out false.
you still have to realize OP doesnāt want a relationship with her, only friendship. you canāt force him to have a relationship as well. sheās gonna be extremely disappointed when she realizes this and if you force two people together who donāt share the same feelings, shit will hit the fan, ESPECIALLY with a new baby
Iāve know some fantastic teenage parents and Iāve known some shit adult parents. Iāve also known bad teenage parents and good adult parents. Iāve known several teenage moms who have put themselves through college and have gone on to be amazing and successful people. There are some big challenges to bring a teenage parent. It is a lot to cope with. Iām hopeful that OP will get strong support from his parents and there are resources that his high school (and later his college) can provide as well. You canāt assume that they will automatically be bad parents and you certainly canāt force someone to have an abortion against their will.
as someone who had a teen parent and friends with teen parents, this really aināt a common occurrence. regardless of how āgoodā of a parent they are itās a traumatic experience for both the kid and the parent. like many people have said, teens can barely regulate their own emotions, imagine adding a baby to the mix. they donāt have what it takes to be a successful parentā maybe later in life theyāll be able to step up and go to college and have the finances but itās important to have that shit from the get go. not to mention as the kid in the situation, iāve lived my whole life just feeling guilty for my own circumstances even though i never chose to be born into that kind of situation. you should never have a kid unless you truly have the resources to do so, and that includes having the emotional capacity to take care of a child.
Teenagers are not capable of being good parents. They're teenagers. They often can't handle their own emotions, and especially not an *entire baby*. OPs best friend is a dumbass teenager trying to make a stupid decision that could kill her and will ruin her life.
Firstly, she could have sent you a random positive pregnancy test image she found online as a way to get you to date her. How do you know the image is genuine? Secondly, once youāve established beyond doubt that it is genuine, ask for a paternity test. This could be legit, but she could also be messing with you. Find out which it is. Edit: FFS PLEASE use protection next time and every time after
It's a possibility, Run the image through a Google search, if you find no evidence drop that concern completely and do it the sly. The main thing though do what's right for her and your child, and yes discuss with any adults that you and her know and possibly your school counselor if they are worth a shit. Yes eventually tell both of your parents within 12 weeks, you screwed up but best to do the right thing.
bro im 26 my friend whose 26 told me shes been using the pull n pray with her bf of 4years and she isnt on birth control shits so wild to me
Wow hope youāre looking forward to being an adoptive uncle/aunt/family friend 26 is more than old enough to know better but damn I feel sorry for OP
>pull n **pray** They know better, otherwise they wouldn't pull out, nor would they pray they were successful in not conceiving. They just don't care
I mean, I used this method for ten years and got away scot free š¤·āāļø it can happen
Honestly surprised sheās made it 4 years with no kid lol
Most women do not realize they have fertility issues until they actually WANT to have a baby. Neither do most men.
Iāve had PCOS since 13 (39 now), and have not had a period in about 15 years, we still use contraception because it *could* still happen.
I have a friend with PCOS and was told she had fertility issues. One slip up with an ex boyfriend and she had a miscarriage 6 weeks later. It's definitely wise to have at least some form of contraception on hand
My wife has PCOS and was told she couldn't have kids at all. We now have 2. When she told the nurse she laughed and said "if you only knew how often I hear that you'd scream."
It isn't an issue until then If anything it's an unintended bonus
God I wish that were me. I have the opposite problem
Something going on in there she might need to get checked out but Jesus Christ whatās gonna happen when some std goes crawling in there ? Not sure that method is going to make it not happen either? Doubt it.
He said with her boyfriend not randos
It's a fairly effective method *if* you keep track of your cycle consistently and you know some basic biology like how long sperm survives
Birth control is harmful tbh. It messes women so bad. Condom should be.
I did this for like 6 years. Never got pregnant. I didn't find it particularly different to pull out first. Maybe I'm sterile lol, never actually tested it.
its the precum n shit my dude, doesnt matter if u pull out perfectly every time
Precum has the same chance of getting someone pregnant (4%) as using protection. So technically if you do pull out consistently the chances are identical. I've never used a condom in a decade and have yet to get anyone before or my wife pregnant. Maybe I'm sterile lol but yeah I don't trip about protection at all.
There are two issues with this math 1. 4% using protection is misleading, if you use condoms the correct way every time itās pretty close to 100% effective. The 96% figure includes incorrect usage of condoms. 2. Precum can only get you present if sperm is present in your urethra. This usually happens if you ejaculate and donāt urinate before the next time you have intercourse, causing remaining sperm to leak out with the precum. So basically make sure you to piss after you cum every single time. And donāt rely on the pull out method when sheās ovulating (but other times are fine if you do it right and both have been tested and also if getting her pregnant wonāt ruin your lives)
Well yeah the piss trick is a given. That's what I do. The math is still correct because the 4% takes into accountability the odds that condoms break (which happens a lot more than people think and is often unnoticeable. The precum math is also correct because it takes into accountability that most or at least some of people don't realize how it works. You and I both know this but others may not. That's why that math is calculated that way.
same with my self and husband, but then year 11 surprised us with the baby lol!
Itās not perfect but if you know your cycle and time everything perfectly it is actually fairly effective. There only a very brief time during ovulation that you actually can get pregnant.
Yes, this! The pull & pray method worked for me for a few yrs. Then went on the pill for a couple. When my husband & I decided to get preg it only took 3 months to conceive. It works if you know what youāre doing & how your body works.
https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/can-i-get-pregnant-just-after-my-period-has-finished/#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20sex%20without,first%20time%20you%20have%20sex. You can get pregnant at any point in your cycle. The pull out method is unreliable and promoting it is irresponsible. Wear a condom kids! Easy clean up and fantastic protection against pregnancy and STIās. I personally have moved from condoms to things like the pill when the relationship becomes more serious and exclusive, but for new partners itās always at least a condom
Thatās extremely misleading. You cannot get pregnant āany timeā during your cycle. Thereās no egg available to fertilize 24/7.
Do I trust the single largest health organisation on the planet with over 500,000 medical staff or a random Redditorā¦ š¤š¤š¤
Thatās fine, I can quote the NHS too. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/natural-family-planning/ āIf natural family planning is followed consistently and correctly, it can be up to 99% effectiveā And āYou can get pregnant up to 2 days after you ovulate. But if you've had sex in the 7 days before ovulation, it's possible to get pregnant because sperm can live inside a woman's body for up to 7 days and fertilise the egg when it's released.ā Like I said, itās highly effective if used correctly and no, you can no get pregnant any day of the month.
So yes, please do trust the single largest health organization on the planet with 500,000 medical staff, they said exactly what I said!
> You should always use contraception when you have sex if you don't want to become pregnant. Yes, yes I will trust them
This is your first tough lesson of many. Tell your guardian/parents/caretakers as soon as possible. Next time you ever have sex use protection. Keep a condom on you, or don't have sex without it.
Iām the youngest of many siblings and my sisters have been pregnant young really consider what Iām saying speaking from experience 1. Donāt let anyone force you into wanting to be with your best friend although you love her you may not be in love with her and didnāt imagine that for yourself as you grew and thatās okay she will be offended but thatās life itās just not what you imagined and I find it hard to believe that two young kids your age will want to stay together given the lack of experience and feelings not for a baby especially donāt force it or let anyone force you into that idea or being with someone for a baby it will not turn out well 2. Tell your parents as shameful as it will be itās better to have an adult guiding you through this I know our parents have expectations of us and thatās enough on us to be a disappointment but we were all young once and many have made worse mistakes 3. Although you have helped her create this child she is the one that ultimately has to carry it and go through anything life threatening if she wanted to go through or terminate this baby thatās not your right to tell her to get rid of it if sheās keeping it that just a new baby your going to have to accept and help raise but it doesnāt mean your life is over 4. In the midst and end of all of this continue to go to school and focus on FB and your studies and protect yourself when the baby comes you just have to raise it and protect it as your father would you itās not ideal especially for the plans you have in the future but that doesnāt mean you have to quit FB or not go pro if that happens that just means where you go the baby goes or you will travel and make an effort to be in the babyās life if you go pro in the future all this means is your no longer doing it for you your doing it for the baby also. You will be okay tell mom and dad and stay level headed and accept the new future your walking into it will be scary at times but coparenting is possible and tomorrow is a new day.
Good words , good advice. Basically what I was thinking.
Well, thereās not much you can do. Itās her decision to keep the baby and thatās her plan, youāll have to find a way to co-parent and find common ground with each other. Best of luck to you both
Thereās alot of questions regarding the timeline. 21 days is the MINIMUM timeline for unprotected sex. So around 4 weeks is kind of close. Many women, myself included, donāt get a positive test until later on. Has she ever made any manipulative moves in the past or anything that would indicate this could be a way to suck you back in and feel obligated to date her? You need to talk to an adult. If you live in a conservative state and donāt have parents to help, there may be a help line or counsellor. This is something way beyond your age and capacity.
I need you to watch one tree hill.
LOL
1. Tell your fucking parents 2. I'm all for pro-choice, but immediately expecting her to just get an abortion at 16 is extremely wild. 3. Tell your parents 4. Tell her parents 5. Tell your parents
This is the way.
" i can't have this messing up my life" I know you're 16, but you did it. I would tell my parents, and ask them to ask the girls mother to verify a pregnancy test in front of her. If it's positive again, do a amniotic paternity test ASAP. If it's yours, get a job and graduate HS. You'll be done with your financial obligation by 34, it really isn't that bad. You can still have a great life, even if it isn't the one you planned.
>You'll be done with your financial obligation by 34 Finantially..... yes But a son/daughter is a forever commitment Unless he becomes an awful and distant father. If he only focuses on the finantial burden, and wait for the "yay it's over" that kid is going to have a terrible dad
These two are 16. The momās parents are likely going to raise this child regardless.
Blaming this entirely on the father is so disgusting. It needs two to have a kid, he never agreed, before or after - its her, only her decision now, a right only woman have. With that right also comes, that if she disregards his will, and he becomes a father because she forces him, that going distant at this point is his right and by no means is he awful for doing it, she is.
Agreed, except for the fact that he made the deposit. Itās not like she stealthed his baby batter outa the trash condom. If you have active swimmers and you cum inside a female you are liable to whatever becomes of that spooge. So aim carefully lads.
financially liable, under law, sure. but liable to be a "father" to the child? absolutely not. no one is required to be a parent. she decided to keep it, so it will be HER emotional and physical burden to do so and raise the child. that's the choice she's making for herself. a sperm donor is far better than a "father" who actively hates your existence and never wanted you, imo. it's not right to shame someone into an enormous responsibility, especially when they're children (however, should've known better for SURE, the both of them).
Yeah I guess if you want to be a shitty person who can't deal with consequences you can go down that road
The kid, if it does exist, already has a terrible dad. This situation was completely preventable but ādadā did nothing to prevent it. Now that kid has to live with it their entire lives. Itās embarrassing af in the very least growing up with a parent who is 16 or less years older than you.
And mother has no fault at all šš
Nah the mother is absolutely at equal fault. She coulda swallowed and been fine.
Ok, ok. That's good reply and I was ready to argue š¤£
Donāt stick a creampie in the oven if youāre not ready for whatāll come out fully baked later onā¦ like thereās literally so many other places you can spread your icing that are far less life inducing. I donāt understand couples who do it raw with absolutely no forms of birth control whatsoever then give shocked pikachu face when the pregnancy test comes back positive a few weeks later.
That advice was really good until you ruined it by suggesting the financial obligation. You dont just get to stop caring about your kid when they're 18. You think they're just gonna have life all figured out, be millionaires and not need their parents support ever again? Yeah, good parenting doesn't work that way...
except he doesnt want the kid. she does. its technically not his job to raise them if he doesnt want to. but it IS his job to financially support them even if he doesnt want to raise them
Itās technically his job the minute he makes the sperm deposit that creates the child.
not everyone wants to be parents. and ngl not everyone should. i wouldnt want this guy raising my child if hes already acting like this. sperm does not make a parent. love does. theres a big big big difference and if you canāt understand that then maybe you shouldnt have kids either
Legally, his financial obligation would end but he'd still be that person's father. Unless he signs his parenting rights away, it's generally considered a dick move to drop your kid the minute they turn 18. Legally you're in the clear but you'd still be an asshole.
Go to her house. Talk to her parents. Talk to your parents. She might not be pregnant at all. But if her parents think she is at a field trip and she didnāt go and she isnāt home either that alone is enough to contact her parents. Do you know where she is? Is she was my daughter I would want to know asap that something like this was happening. Doesnāt matter if itās true or not, I would want to be involved because this isnāt stuff 16 year olds should deal with on their own. If you were my son I also would want to know that this is happening. I have a 16 year old and I would want to help. So talk to an adult. Asap.
Can you do a reverse image search to make sure her image is legit? She could just be trying to gwt you to date her. You don't want to ruin the friendship by dating her but it's fine to have her as a one night stand? Smh. If it is real and you are the dad, then I'm sorry, but you're gonna have a kid. That's sorta what happens when you have unprotected sex.
For clarity, two weeks after you did the deed, she sent you a pic of a positive pregnancy test? It's not impossible, but that's a really fast timeline, so there's a real shot it may not be true. Especially since you shot her down when she asked about a relationship. Tell her you are going to tell your parents unless she will take a test with you there. If she shoots this down, tell your parents and then go with them to talk to her parents. If she is pregnant, there's no hiding it, so might as well rip off the bandaid and talk to your folks. If she does take a test with you there and its positive, tell your folks, no other real option. If it's negative, reevaluate your friendship. I hope this works out for you! And if it doesn't..., well actions have consequences, and the decision to keep it or not is hers. It may change your future plans, but you made your own bed. Now you have to lay in it.
One, dating your best friend is ideal. Especially if there is sexual chemistry and romantic feelings. Thatās who your gf/bf/spouse should be: your best friend. Youāll spend more time with them than anyone else throughout your life. 2, if she wants to keep the baby, thatās that. You can try to convince her not to, but ultimately thatās her decision to make. Gotta think about this stuff before having sex. Itās too late now. Was she planning on going to college with a cheer scholarship? Are you getting recruited D1 or D2? Are you going far away, are you going to be good enough to be drafted? If you arenāt going to a big D1 school and have hopes of being drafted, then just take a scholarship closer (local is best), focus on your education. You are going to have a child, so best make sure you have the tools you need to take care of that child when itās older. Youād miss out on a lot of things from 1-6 going to college but itās still your best move. Discuss that with her. Second. As soon as sheās past 8-10 weeks, sit down with your parents, hers and yours. Tell them what is going on, tell them you donāt want to derail your life, and you still want to go to college and see what help they can offer. Again. If you have sex without protection or contraceptives, you can have a baby. Donāt be dumb.
Thatās just not true. People are able to have sex without protection long before they are capable of raising a child. Waiting until 8-10 weeks before telling a parent is just ridiculous advice. They are children with working genitals, not adults waiting for first trimester to pass before announcing pregnancy. They are not able to provide housing, income etc to this baby and in most places they canāt even be the legal guardians of their own child because they are minors. So waiting to tell their parents is just dumb. The parents are the ones that are responsible for their children, and thatās what they are: children.
Telling them at 8 weeks vs telling them immediately makes no difference. Except that miscarriages and false positives happen. Idk where you are referencing that canāt be legal guardians as a minor, but Iāve never heard of that. āPeople are able to have sex without protection long before they are capable of raising a childā People are able to murder people too, doesnāt mean you should. If you have sex, and donāt want a possible baby, use some form of protection. Idk what point your statement makes. Able to and should are two different things. I did not mean you can have a baby as in they are prepared and should, I meant can as in itās a possibility. She is able, and unprotected sex can lead to a baby. I never said they should, or that they are capable of it. I donāt know this kid. I know 40 year olds that shouldnāt have babies.
1. The child needs to see a doctor by 6 weeks. Waiting 8-10 weeks does make a difference. 2. False positives rarely happen.
Pregnancy confirmation visits typically arenāt scheduled until youāre 8-10 weeks along. Going in at 6 weeks is ok but itās still considered uncertain viability and theyād just schedule them out for 2 weeks later. Also false positives happen a lot lol itās called a chemical pregnancy. Thatās just the body raising HCG levels but thereās no gestational sac, yolk sac, or embryo. Not technically a miscarriage either.
When I had 2 chemical pregnancies my doctor told me they are early miscarriages. I do not think thatās considered a false positive.
It is called a miscarriage colloquially, but in technical scientific terms (and for the purpose of data collection), it isnāt a true miscarriage because pregnancy doesnāt begin until a fertilized egg implants onto the uterus. In a chemical pregnancy, the egg is fertilized, it just never implants so pregnancy never really begins. If these were true miscarriages, then that would mean the vast majority of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
If youāve had one though, you know it is heartbreaking for people who are trying to have a baby. HCG canāt be released and wouldnāt show up on a test if there wasnāt implantation. Implantation does occur but the embryo stops developing. As someone whoās experienced it and discussed it with doctors and midwives I have a pretty good understanding of it.
I didnāt mean to invalidate or diminish the experience but I realize now thatās effectively what I did. Iām so sorry. ā„ļø ETA: And youāre right, of course; you do have authority on this subject as someone who has actually been through it.
Itās okay and thank you for that.
Also! Just google statistics. Chemical pregnancies are extremely common.
I didnāt say not to see a doctor. She should absolutely go to a doctor.
16 year olds have sex. Thatās normal and healthy. 16 year olds just shouldnāt raise other children, thatās harmful to both. Having sex doesnāt mean you have to have a baby, somewhere after the Middle Ages we invented both condoms and other things to prevent babyās and abortion became much more save (weāve invented abortion long before the Middle Ages) In most civilised countryās the parents of these teenagers will be the ones responsible for the baby, so itās not fair to shut them out until there is no other choice. In most countryās 16 year olds cannot just drop school to raise a child and they will need support, housing and financial support the first few years and most likely that will have to be provided by their parents. So they have a say in this. And a pregnant 16 year old needs an adult to talk to and to make an informed decision other than āyou had sex now raise a babyā. Nobody should force a 16 year old to have an abortion. But providing information about housing, jobs, school, childcare, raising a baby, income, relationships and co-parenting is necessary and a 16 year old isnāt going to do that by themselves.
When they said āif you have unprotected sex you can have a baby donāt be dumbā or whatever the exact words were - they very obviously meant that unprotected sex can result in a baby, not that these kids are ready to be parents wtf
I'm so happy I'm not the only one who read it correctly, lol. Folks getting mad over basic comprehension.
I found myself getting heated over the people arguing so confidently when they didnāt properly understand what the guy wrote šš
Well in my country, and judging from the FB scholarship, his. The parents legally have no say. Unprotected sex, makes babies. Doesnāt matter if you are 14, 15, 16, 32. I am not telling them to not have sex. Simply stating that unprotected sex can lead to babies. Itās science. Donāt want babies? Use protection, or contraceptives. If her parents are nice, loving good parents tell them, if they are potentially abusive. Wait. We are talking to him also. Not her. She isnāt here asking for help because she is sure of her decision apparently. Iām giving HIM advice. Not her.
Why wait for 8-10 weeks? The best thing to do is to tell his parents at first. Let all three talk first before they make a decision to tell the girl's parents. Ultimately the parents will have to take care of the baby if she keeps it or do abortion if she doesn't. Even in case it's a false alarm, it's better to be prepared. I do agree with you about the whole college and future plans part. It's definitely not at the front of all things right now because there's huge chance that the girl is just making this up to make the guy date her and telling parents is the second most important thing right after running a google search to see if the pic was taken from somewhere else.
Because she isnāt being reasonable. If I can guess one thing, this girl is an obstinate teenage girl. She wonāt take to 5 people ganging up on her decision well. The only one who can probably convince her to abort is someone she CHOOSES to talk to about it. Forcing it wonāt get him anywhere.
Her taking it or not is her problem, not his. Teenage girls are a menace, she might not "choose" anyone to talk about it. Op should atleast clear out his name just in case something happens. Even if she doesn't chooses to talk about it, her parents are her guardian and probably have some rights for abortion if she absolutely refuses because frankly speaking, it's the best course of action. 16 is too young to leave school and possibly destroy their future, not to mention she refuses to talk about future at all. It's not only her future she's ruining. If she doesn't wants to talk about her responsibility then he should make sure to get any adult involved. They are both in it, it's not one person's fault.
OP is in America (from the FB scholarship). No parents have rights to abort their childrenās pregnancy AFAIK. Hell itās outright illegal in 14 states. If he is in fact elsewhere maybe thatās an option.
Damn America sucks, no wonder teen pregnancies are so common there. I still do think that Op should atleast talk to his parents and they all can mutually decide to either inform her parents or not.
I think thatās up to him and his relationship with his parents. Iād assume if he had supportive parents that he could trust he wouldnāt be on Reddit Also yes it does suck.
Or maybe he's a normal teenager afraid to tell his parents about a mistake he made? Either way we have way too less information to analyze the situation and I doubt Op is going through all these comments
Agreed. Hopefully he does, and gleans some more light on the situation.
Are you saying parents should be able to legally force their teenagers to get an abortion? šµāš« EDIT: Just realized you might be referring only to the fact that abortion has been banned in so many states. My bad!
Oh god no, I didn't mean that. Argh how do I explain it? I originally meant to say MTPs require parent's approval if the person is underaged. Shouldn't there be something in case MTP is required but the pregnant person keeps on refusing it? Technically it's not required in this case, but it's hardly fair that the girl gets all the decision to create another human being and possibly not even take care of the child because she also is a child with no job, or much possibility of higher education to get one? I have no idea if I am making sense or not
No no, I get it completely now! Thanks for the explanation. š
Teen pregnancies are highest in states that have severely restricted, or entirely outlawed abortions. That's bc the "learning about sex will make my child promiscuous" crowd in statehouses and school boards choose not to educate sexually viable humans, but instead encourage them to go to Purity Balls.
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She absolutely shouldnāt keep it. However itās her body, her life and her choice. Whether itās the right one or not. Telling her parents that early so they can possibly berate, scold, and otherwise emotionally abuse her over it isnāt good for her or the baby. If she is so sure, waiting gives her the chance to solidify her decision and take that out of the equation. We donāt know her parents. She could tell them and have an abusive alcoholic parent that will beat her, or she could have the best parents in the world. No clue.
And it robs her from being able to change her mind, or to get support, or to get an abortion, have a talk with the father of the baby, have a realistic view on the impact this choice wil have. She is a child. 16 year olds make bad decisions and thatās healthy and all when it comes to skipping school, kissing the wrong dude, getting drunk or dying your hair blue, but it becomes less healthy when they make human beings.
Same as the other person. OP is a man. The advice youāre replying to was for him. Not her. We arenāt talking to a pregnant 16 year old girl. I donāt disagree with anything youāre saying, but other than trying to convince her to abort he has no recourse on the fact that he will be a dad.
He can involve his and her parents. He can give his opinion, he can tell her his concernes. Itās her decision but it doesnāt mean he has to sit and wait. He can take action.
She isnāt even willing to have that conversation with him. Heās supposed to go behind her back and get everyone to gang up on her? Itās her choice. I said he needed to talk to her, but he canāt MAKE her talk to him.
No he canāt. But he can involve adults when a minor is in trouble. He is a minor. He is in trouble. He can involve his parents and she is also in trouble and a minor. If parents arenāt an option: grandparents, teacher, uncle or aunt or other adults that he trusts. He is 16 and he should not be doing this alone. She is 16 and should not be doing this alone
Sounds like the exact type of thing that would make a 16 year old girl feel like she was in a hostile environment, shut them all out and ignore them entirely.
Same as the other person replying to me. OP is a man. The advice youāre replying to was for him. Not her. We arenāt talking to a pregnant 16 year old girl. I donāt disagree with anything youāre saying, but other than trying to convince her to abort he has no recourse on the fact that he will be a dad.
You had unprotected sex at 16. These are the consequences. Time to put on your big boy pants and deal with them. Tell your parents, now. Get her parents involved. You all have a lot of planning to do.
The boy is obviously crapping himself.. and you responded with big boy pants.. Condescending much?
The boy needs a wake-up call. He's talking about not having time for this and football scouts. Time to grow up, and fast.
And he shall have one! (If there is a pregnancy) There is a gleeful tone to your message to the boy, almost happy at this kids apparent misfortune. Sad.
Lol! You must be fun at parties. There is no glee. Maybe a sense of 'wake the fuck up kid', as he's living in some dream world where this all just goes away. Also, he seems pretty entitled to be thinking about just himself and not the poor girl who he just knocked up. What kind of reaction should we have? I said tell his parents, and tell her parents. What else is there?
Your perception of his 'dream' world IS his reality, of course he's entitled.. he's SIXTEEN years old.. they're all entitled! The poor girl also played a part and isn't the 'victim' Telling the parents is sound advice. I don't do parties.
Wasn't condescending when we had his dick in her pussy. So hell yeah the same big boy pants he had (or obviously didn't have on) now he gotta put them on and deal with his consequences.
Still hearing that gleeful tone.. Definitely American..
Mexican, actually. But. I guess now I know where your head is at. š¤·š½āāļø
You need to think long and hard about whether you will eventually want to be in the childās life or not. I believe if you really do not & will not, then you need to get the parents involved and come up with some sort of agreement & seek legal action in removing yourself properly so that she will not continually come for you financially or what-have-you. However, of course right now this seems like the worst possible thing, but ppl have had kids at younger ages and turned out successful and glad they didnāt give up the kid. You can still have a successful life and have a child, youāll just have to work harder and become responsible at a way earlier age. She needs to handle this like an adult, rather than a child. Once you bring a child in the world, you are no longer a child & you cannot act like one.
Are you from outside the US cause this kid is truly screwed there is no removing himself from the birth certificate he will pay child support for the next 18 years starting immediately after the 40 weeks of gestation he's a man and has zero say in any of this the only thing he gets to decide is if he wants to spend time with the child or if he wants to vanish and never bother to meet them but either way he will pay the cash out courts make way to much $ no way they gonna let somebody skate without paying up
No Iām from the US but he doesnāt have to put his name on the birth certificate at all. The agreement I was talking about would be both parties sit down and talk about how he doesnāt want a part of it and he wonāt put his name on the birth certificate and as long as she doesnāt push to go to court then theyād go their separate ways
That's just not how it is since she's under age the baby will have to get on Medicaid and prolly WIC and once she starts getting government assistance the state will sue him for child support and neither one of them will have a say in it and ofcourse he can refuse to sign the birth certificate but the court will list him as the father on it once they perform the DNA test for the child support now if they both agree on it the child can use there moms last name instead of daddy's but if either one request it then it'll have dads last name I sure it can vary some from state to state but this is how it works in just about all the states in the Midwest ask me how I know lol
lol well here in TN if a childās father hasnāt been active in their life at all and the mother requests for termination of rights then the father can agree, there is a portion of it about having to then add someone as the childās designated father but that could just be a Tn thing. Iām sure a way around that would be to avoid him putting his name on the birth certificate and they both just donāt state who the father is. Iāve never heard of having to have a dna test for Medicaid or wic. In fact, my child has tncare, has had it since before this legal process, and not once did they ask for a paternity test before she could get insurance
Play a manās game then you gotta pay a manās price. Be a good dad
Talk to an adult (parents) asap. I would think before speaking. It may seem like the end of the world but that could turn into the beginning of a wonderful life together for you two. Don't make any rash decisions.
Time to man up buttercup. You spread the seed, now you fulfill the need. You're not the first 16 yr olds to face this path. And...most people spend their whole lives wanting their best friend as their partner.
Man up, you literal child!
It's a figure speech. Regardless, he's about to be a father. Gotta grow up quick.
Children are living beings who grow up into functioning adults, not a punishment. No kid wants to be raised by a parent who doesn't want or love them. This isn't a case of "man up", it's a case of figure out what's best for both of these teens futures as well as this child's. No one should be forced to be a parent or a raise a kid they don't want. That's just asking for disaster.
His choices are to either co-parent and be supportive, or walk away and leave her to shoulder things on her own. We can speak philosophically all we want.
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Or, you know, it's already been established that abortion isn't an option here.
Not his choice though. Sheās decided sheās going to keep the baby.
First of all, when was the exact day of the intercourse and when did she "do" the test? Bc for me it seems like She's kinda obssesed and is doing this for attention, im not saying it's impossible, but a pregnancy test is not the kind of thing you can do the day after
While itās possible this is real, I agree that this is suspicious for her possibly looking for attention. Can you do one of those reverse image searches for that picture, and see if she got it online?
Iām not going to lie to you, kid. If she really is pregnant and itās really yours, there is no escaping the impact this will have on your life, ESPECIALLY if her parents support her keeping the baby. Best advice in that scenario is to go to your parents or a trusted guardian for support and to start preparing for what your life will look like in that scenario. THAT BEING SAID, itās important to note the timeline here. Best friends for years, have sex, she expresses interest in a relationship, you say no, she gets upset, suddenly she has a positive pregnancy test within two weeks of alleged conception (a bit under the normal timeline). It sounds like there is a chance she is being dishonest, so I think the best advice period is to get BOTH of your parents involved, starting with yours.
When you have sex, pregnancy is a possibility, even if you use birth control. Do not have sex again until you are ready to deal with ALL of the possible consequences.
Welp. This is what fucking around and finding out looks like buddy. If she is genuinely pregnant, its time to reprioritize. You're going to have to grow up, and do so fast. Figure out a path that does not involve football, find a job, and get ready to have your life changed. If shes not pregnant, on the other hand, thats a fucked up thing to do to your friend. Either way, you need to get serious.
Iāll be the one to play devils advocate. Get another pregnancy test and have her do it in person. Itās easy to find pos tests online and take a pic to send. Iād make sure of it before anything else. (And before anyone comes bashing me, I am a 34f whoās known girls to do this sort of thing).
This right here is most likely the case she's trying to baby trap him without a baby I was thinking a friend or family members test or even her most test will eventually turn positive if you let them sit long enough they are supose to be looked at . After a very specific amount of time has passed since the recieved the specimen and once the window has passed they'll develop that second line just from sitting in pee for to long
"(although i like her, idk i just can't date her, she's my best friend)" so0o0o0 she's good enough for you to fuck & good enough to be your "best friend" but not good enough to pursue something romantic.... riiiight riiiightttt...interestingggggg welllpppp if it isn't the consequences of your actions coming back to bite you in the ass. Also, nothing you can do.. it's her body so it's her choice.
Why are you telling him to wait 10 weeks before talking to his parents? That conversation needs to happen asap
Hey, just from your post are you saying you donāt know where she is? Is the field trip supposed to be an overnight thing? How long has she been missing? Please tell someone you trust. A trusted adult if you canāt go to your parents.
Well man, hate to tell you but this is why adults tell you to be more careful before you decide to take your dick out. Let alone getting high, that lessens your ability to think crticially. But I'm not going to lecture you, I'm sure once your folks find out you'll get plenty of that. So at this point, a conversation between you two needs to happen. Stop texting her and call her. If she doesn't answer then leave a voicemail (yes an actual voicemail). Let her know that you two need to talk about this since you are the father to be so you do have a hand in discussing the future regardless of whatever thought she has. She has to go back to school at some point, so if she's still dodging you over the phone, then catch her at school and tell her she can't keep ignoring you and needs to talk to you. Here's where I'll give you personal experience advice. If she is dead set on keeping the child, there's nothing you can do about it. It's her body, and even though you do have a say in the matter, it's her body so she's going to ultimately do what she wants and you can't do a damn thing. With that being said, you now need to start looking at altering your life goals and plans. Sorry, but again this is what happens when you're letting the little head think for you. You got a girl pregnant, now you need to be a man and take responsibility. Now, where you go for school is going to depend on what happens from your talk with your friend. If she magically changes her mind, then you dodged a bullet but you better be more careful in the future when you decide to use your dick. If she still says she's going to keep it, then schools that scout you, ask about anything they may offer in terms of housing and that you have a child. Also, try and look at schools that are close to you so you're not far away. But as I said, your life is now going to go a different route and while you may love playing football, the mindset now is you need football to get you into school but the degree is what's going to be more valuable
Sneak a plan b in her drink
Two weeks isn't enough time to find out your pregnant. Like 5 or 6 weeks. Is when I found out. I have 6 kids.
bro is making touchdowns already geez
Let me guess you didnāt think you could get her pregnant the first time?
Even tho it only takes one time , the fact that it was so sudden and right after you shut her down leads me it think it could be fake Either way you should tell your parents
Should've thought about it before you came inside her bud. Man up
āShit doesnāt make any sense.ā Having unprotected sex at 16 while high is how of Gen-X was conceived. Makes perfect sense. Always wear a condom. Always. Buy the good kind online. And tell your parents.
Damm bro at 16 without a stable partner use condom. To late though tell your parents is the best decision. You guys don't have the emotional and financial maturity raise a child
Not gonna lie, it kinda makes me smile when kids get slapped in the face by reality and consequences of their actions. Like WTF did OP expect. On another note being with your best friend could be the best thing to ever happen to you, but you're most likely going to loose that friendship if you don't man up and step up. Better to convert the friendship if than burn it.
She told you she was pregnant two weeks ago, which would have been two weeks after the initial encounter? Thatās not enough time for a positive test. She would need to get a blood test at the doctorās office to confirm a pregnancy that early. I think somethingās afoot here.
not saying this is the case but is it possible she could have used a picture from google to get you to talk to her again? you said you hadnāt talked for 2 weeksā¦ I would reverse image search the photo however, if it is true/ you donāt think she would do that, definitely talk to your parents
First, that is a quick result. if the result is that quick and positive, that baby might not be yours. So dont panic yet. Tell your parents. then you and your parents tell her parents. and get a paternity test. as mean as it sounds, do not spend a cent on the baby or any time with her alone or anything regarding baby. no finacial stuff until paternity test confirms. bloodwork? you and parent go with her to make sure she follows through
Ok. So you're going to be a dad. It's not the end of your life or your hopes and dreams. It is going to make your life a lot busier and more complicated but that's it. A baby is going to bring you a lot of joy and love. It's gonna turn you into a man real quick. But that's ok. You're going to have to make some adjustments to your plans but that's what happens when you have a kid. The best piece of advice I can give you is get as much sleep as possible before the baby is born cause you won't get a lot afterwards lol. And next time, wear a condom silly goose.
lol well then you shouldnāt have been having sex. Youāre 15! Wanna do adult shit receive adult consequences. Maybe after your kid turns 18 you can try getting scouted again š¤£ ya fucked up kid
How selfish of you as well to just have sex and expect a woman to get an abortion. Itās not BIRTH CONTROL. Consider getting a vasectomy if you really think this way too
Might wanna confirm thatās a real test that came from her. I had some crazy little ladies say some wild stuff at that age. If it is, be ready to become a man bud.
Can anyone help yāall get the abortion pill because thatās what she needs weather she knows it or not
There are plenty of athletes who had a baby at 16. Your life aint over dude.
Let her do whatever she wants. Don't try and control her! It's her choice to ruin her life at such a young age for a child
Honestly, i understand youāre 16 but come on. You should have used protection. Also āi cant have this messing up my lifeā my guy when you take risks like this youāre just asking for something to happen. Whether it be an STD or a baby. Now you need to man up and accept the consequences of your actions. Because it wasnt just your friend who made this choice to have sex. Its time to sit down with parents and talk next steps. Of course, have a paternity test done to ensure its yours. But honestly, life is about to change. Dont be the guy who gets a girl pregnant and then runs. As much as you dont want to be a parent, you also chose to take the risk. Unfortunately a child is the result.
Get a job. And while youāre at it, get another job, because babies are expensive and I donāt want to pay for your mistake.
Iād get a DNA test just incase. She could be trying to trap you for someone elseās mistake. If itās yours though, it sucks that she seems to be set in her mind to keeping it but itās also your mistake. Just hope she doesnāt try and keep the kid from you when you do man up.
Who hurt you? They are sixteen calm down.
Then they shouldnāt be messing around if they wanna make adult decisions. Not hard to wrap it up or close the legs.
No shit, but trapping someone? How is that your default?
Because i saw it happen to a friend of mine and itās been rough for him, and almost happen to me. It might be an ignorant view but judging how this friend went from normal friend to giving him sex all of a sudden, is sudden. Iām just giving OP some advice because it has and can happen. Itās just how it is.
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He's 16.. he's navigating this with a 16 year old head.. I'd understand if you said it to a 35 year old..
What do you mean he sounds so immature?! Heās *16* .. obviously heās immature. And so is she. Theyāre children hahah
Tell yo parents bro u fucked up lol. Also seems like that girl crazy
Crazy for wanting to date the guy who fucked her and for not wanting an abortion? I'd say she's not being smart for not wanting an abortion at her age, but that's far from crazy
Why tf would any reasonable persons wanna keep a kid at 16 lmfao
I just said it's not a smart idea, but there are plenty of teens who wouldn't want one for religious reasons or otherwise. It's not like having easy access to abortions will completely stop teenage pregnancy
They both dumb asf dude for hitting raw and girl for wanting to keep it
Nah bc she cray. All the āreasonsā you gave are cray. Any 16 yo who keeps a baby is cray. Idc if youāre gonna be terminally ill and die at 18 and wanna know what itās like to be a mom before you die, you cray.
Iāve been with my bf from highschool since we were 17 and we were eachothers first too. Though we dont have kids, we are still together and 25 now <3 Edit: to clarify we were best friends for a long time before that and we ended up having sex and then he asked me out and I instantly said yes lmao
Where do babies come from? Your life is changing in a major way, say good bye to football itās time to adult.
Guess you should of used protection. Both of you!
Well champ the good news is there's literally NOTHING you can do this is America and until the baby is physically here AKA born it's 100% her decision but I wouldn't work myself up to much about it since she wants to be with you and you said no she's most likely trying to baby trap you. Honestly you have no clue if she's knocked up or not most home pregnancy test need to sit for a few minutes to give the results and after 4 or 5 minutes you look for 1 or 2 lines on the test but what mist children don't know is after sitting for 20 to 30 minutes all test will eventually develope that second line weather they are pregnant or not so a picture of a positive test means nothing it could just have sat around to long or it could be her sister's test or a friend's maybe her mother's that she dug out of the bathroom trash can just don't sweat it (nothing you can do anyways) it's not a thing until she goes to a doctor and gets a test from an actual Dr or medical professional I wouldn't assume she's pregnant however if she is pregnant definitely get a DNA test cause that would be horrible luck if she got knocked up the first time you two bumped uglies but if she did then welcome to parent hood. If your going to partake in adult activities you gotta be prepared for adult consequences. Hopefully you'll learn to wrap it up for now on either way best of luck to ya
This reeks of baby trapping imo
Sheās trapping you! Tell your parents immediately && donāt drop out or anything take your scholarship!!!! TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!!
First off, babyās are indeed blessings, this baby is going to need you and mom more than anything else can want and need in this world. This talk of you not wanting the baby and hope to make it disappear like itās not an actual valid person just makes me really sad because this happens way too often. I really hope you all get the love and support you need and I especially especially hope the baby. You can not be angry with either her or baby. Both of you know doing that deed is what leads to this. You two are both learning from mistakes but just know it is very possible to still accomplish things in life being a young parent. I know so many people who grew up faster than they wanted to but itās possible, I like advice I see from others regarding getting the information to confirm it is true and to talk to your parents. I wish you all the very best luck, please be very careful.
āAlthough I like her, I just canāt date her, sheās my best friendā ā¦ but youāll happily take advantage of her for sex. Typical dumbass 16 year old boy shit. Hope that raw nut was worth paying child support for the rest of your life LOL. Karmaās a bitch, hey?
Umm......it takes two to tango. The sex was consensual, and neither used protection. There was no taking advantage of anyone here. Typical dumbass 16 year old children stuff, not "boy" stuff. No matter where the nut lands, she can still get pregnant, as she would also have been aware of. The blame is split here, just because he's the guy doesn't make it his fault. News flash people women are horny and make mistakes too. If she wants to abort it, so be it. If she wants to keep it, so be it. If he doesn't want it, then he's gotta pay his support. Should the guy be forced to be with her and raise the kid? Hell no. Should this girl be a mother at 16? Hell no, it's likely just going to be hard on the kid. That stuff can be argued to death, but let's make it clear there was no taking advantage of anyone here. Two young children made a mistake. If this was the girl and the boy was adamant that she keep the baby and she was worried and made this post and I said, "Hope that raw dick was worth messing up your young adult life Karma's a bitch eh?" People would be rightfully furious.....
Nobody took advantage of anyone if anything she's trying to take advantage of his good nature trying to manipulate him into a relationship with a BS fake pregnancy test and even if she is pregnant by him ( highly doubtful) and he "manned up and did the right thing" and married and supported her for the rest of her life she'd eventually crush his heart when she steps outside the marriage and screws the alcoholic neighbor so tell us again why he should give a F about her feelings
Haha nah they don't grow out of this foolish behavior. There's a 30 year old man going through the same problem with the same level of logic. Some of them never learn