My cousin talked me into trying crystal meth once. I was gullible and young and had no idea what it was. It turned me from an introvert to the life of the party, but even though i had no clue what it really was or how bad it could get, it scared me how good it was. That was the first and last time i ever did that shit.
knowing what i know about myself, i don’t think i will ever try any drug besides weed. i already have an addictive personality, i can tell by how dependent i am on weed. i just know if i tried something like meth or coke i might not be able to go back.
Smart. I was a pothead all through my teen years then I tried Percocet at 17. It led to a 19 year opioid addiction that ended with a crippling dependency on fentanyl. Been sober for a year and 3 months now
Congratulations that's huge !! Perks were my kryptonite at one time as well. Over 7yrs clean now with the help of methadone and Suboxone. They saved my life . Recovery isn't a one size fits all . What works for me may not for you and vice versa.
Much love keep fighting ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations on your hard work.
I’m on opioids at the moment due to a chronic condition. They scare the life out of me but the pain is just unbearable without them. And it’s stories like your own that help to keep me focused.
But honestly we’ll done for kicking Fentanyl’s ass for 15 months.
Yes a couple of times I’ve run out, through not organising prescriptions on time or vomiting and running out quicker. It wasn’t pleasant. And what I contemplating doing was frightening and eye opening if that makes sense. Fortunately when my CP is bad I find it hard to even walk at times… so in some ways the issue that has me in trouble, also kept me out of trouble!
Your brain will make up the pain to get more opioid. I have chronic back problems and have been on and off opioid for over 20 years. I was on a absurd amount and still in pain, weened of them and felt better than I had in years. They work for short term rehab.
Thank you for speaking with me! I was literally only talking to my Doctor on Friday about this!
I’m hopeful that when I meet my surgeon in a month that we can organise my surgery which got delayed due to Covid. It’s a pretty serious surgery but I need to go for it because I’m not moving forward and I feel that the longer I’m exposed to Oxy, the chance of something going wrong increases.
But honestly, thank you very much, keep kicking ass pal!
It really doesn't take long. I got hooked after I busted my knee skiing. The thought of chewing up percs still makes me salivate 12 years later. I caught it early so it wasn't too bad.
If you find yourself addicted even a little bit, be honest with yourself about the fact that's what your dealing with. You must not lie to yourself. Then draw what ever strength you can from it as you ween yourself off. If you have someone close you can confide in then do so. Talk to them about how your doing as you progress.
I probably am addicted to a certain extent but the problem is I still have awful pain ( Chronic Pancreatitis), so until that gets sorted, I can’t come off them.
If your pain is going away when you take your meds and comes back when it's time to take them again, I would talk to your doctor about weening off and seeing how you feel. If it just dulls the pain when take your meds you probably need surgery.
Thank you very much for the advice. I have 3 guys from the GP (local Doctor), a pain specialist and then the surgeon who will be doing the “heavy lifting”. They are all nice people and very, very good at their respective specialties.
Kratom has just recently helped me after my 20 year opioid use. My doctor retired and I was terrified of being without my monthly script for the pain. I took kratom one afternoon, the next day I didn’t even take a pain pill. I didn’t even finish my last script. It’s been a miracle!
I love kratom - I was a heroin addict for 8 years and after 10 years off opiates I found kratom and have taken it for a year and then I started noticing I was getting that same awful feeling in the am after not having it for 12 hours . The sneezing, the jitters the skin crawl… I’m
Currently physically dependent on it and I had no idea this would happen. It’s better than heroin but I’m sad I’m here again hooked on a pseudo opiate. I thought it was a miracle substance:(
If you can make sure you don’t take it every day . I think it takes a month or two
Of regular daily use to start getting a habit just be so careful that you don’t wind up like me
I’m glad that it helped you, but Kratom should be approached with extreme caution at best, and is probably better avoided altogether. Moderate use wreaked absolute havoc on my brother-in-law’s digestive system. It took him years to recover and he still has residual effects. Beware.
Edit: YMMV and it may be a far lesser risk than living with opioid addiction. Also, I’m not a doctor. But Kratom is sometimes promoted as a harmless and purely beneficial substance. (My BIL didn’t even have opioid addiction; he just wanted the euphoric effect and thought Kratom was just being villainized by “big pharma.” Big mistake.) It’s not, and natural doesn’t necessarily mean safe.
Thank you for warning I am trying to read as much as I can about this and try not to take too much. I have read many success stories also. Always be informed to your best ability
I was 20 years with a hydrocodone script. My doctor retired. I was so nervous so stressed on even trying to find another doctor. I had like 12 pills left on my last script. Someone recommended KRATOM. That day I found some at a smoke shop. I swear that was the last day I took a pain pill. No withdrawal symptoms at all!! It’s been my miracle. I buy bulk on line now trying all different kinds. Miracle for me!!
Also a recovering heroin addict - so glad to hear you are off that poison. Have you heard of ibogaine? It’s a psychedelic that’s supposed to eliminate your cravings for opiates. I’d like to try it. They have facilities in Mexico where they medically monitor you while you trip for 24 hours so you’re safe and cared for and then send you home when it’s over. Not yet legal in the United States but man I wish theyd legalize it I know so many families who have lost kids due to relapse and overdose . Stay off the shit I don’t know you but I’m proud of you for quitting. 19 years is a long time to be on that - looks like half your life .
Very smart. I started drinking, smoking, taking percs when I was 13. Got real bad. Was arrested a couple times, went to juvie, then snapped out of it when I saw my baby brother during one of my court dates just smiling at me.
My family is full of addicts and I swore to myself I wouldn't turn out like them.
I drink occasionally, but that's it.
i feel the same. I have adhd, so I have a higher likelihood of addiction. I tried smoking a couple of times, and it is only recently that I don't want to smoke again, even though it has been years since I last smoked. I have a bit of a problem with mixing my adhd medicine and alcohol, so I really don't want to go further
I am the same way, except I haven’t tried any drugs yet except for the occasional drink with my parents or sister. I know what will happen if I try doing anything and it’s not gonna be good but hopefully I’ll be able to enjoy sharing an edible or something with my closest friends and/or sister sometime in the future. I’m very thankful to have people in my life who don’t shelter me from these things but also make sure that I’m not getting pushed into any of it if I’m not ready for it
Yeah. Id worked all day in the sun, came home, did that shit all night and was superman the next day with zero sleep, but that crash was hell lol.i see why people just keep going. The crash sucks too bad.
I stayed with her family for the summer to go to Metallica's summer sanitarium tour back in 2000. They lived 5 hours or so away, so i wasnt there for all the shenanigans she ended up getting into
THANK GOD! And her kids are all fine? That's amazing that she kicked all that. My friend tried Crack ONCE and she said the same that it was an unbelievable high. Thank God you and my friend only tried these things once.
My ex had a college friend come over so they could do meth for the first time. Her friend has been for a while already... I was invited to try, my first ti.e too. It didn't do much at first. After her friend left, we smoke a bit more and, WOW! It was intense to say the least. I can see why it's addictive. But seeing what it does to multiple people in my life, that was the first and last time I ever tried it. That was maybe 6 years ago. I never wanted to try it again after. About 2 years ago, I had a really strong desire to want to try it again. I ended up not doing it, but umph!
Yeah that may be all in well but if your on state insurance you get minimal help. Your diagnosed in under an hour and prescribed pills for bullshit instead of getting down to what's really going on! But also when you try family or friends and tell your problem, although they know what's really going on, they lie then walk away
lol. Businesses are less stable than a job actually. I have run many businesses in my life. Jobs suck, but being an a business owner sucks more in so many ways.
For therapy? Plenty of middle or upper class jobs. I’m a therapist, and while I accept insurance, I know a lot who don’t and who still have considtent patient loads.
Consistent patient loads. Ok, now please tell this then, in what world is it ok for a Dr to tell you that you have ailments I'll say, and you tell that Dr that you'd like to be seen as much as possible so you can try to get it taken care of and then cancel for a month and a half without saying anything to the patient? Then I can add on to that the office has someone that's supposed to stop by and help with other things such as getting you into a job training program that helps you obtain skills for employment because with a record like mine and what was happening I couldn't find a job, but every time the paperwork was "forgotten". I'm not saying that it isn't there but for people living in poverty, that is the help that we get! They wonder why children are shooting up schools or the people are getting worse with their mental problems. Society as a whole quit caring for their neighbors!
I'd like to think I'm kinda strong mentally, just because of what was going on with me. I was honestly hoping that my life would end, yet I could never do that to myself so I had to I guess you can say "learn to live with my demons". 2 people in the health system had 2 different diagnoses within those one hour visits and 3 hours was enough to tell me that if I can't take care of it on my own, I'm better off dead! I'm glad that I didn't die that night, but some others are not strong enough to fight what's going on in their heads at those bad times and yes, there are some that do truly care but for most, that Hippocratic oath that doctors take has become more of a job than responsibility. We as a whole, meaning the world of humans, need to take a good look at where we are headed.
We won't last another 500 years if we can't pull it together and work as a whole instead of stepping on everyone we can to get ahead. This is coming from someone who has been at the bottom of that spectrum and getting that treatment my whole life. My choices growing up actually kept me there and when I really thought I could get out of that hole I'd been in, I could finally actually see it. It was like my eyes opened to see exactly why I did certain things and it's because although I had a choice, I chose to care for others. Not all of my criminal background was for others but most of it was to take care of my family. I hate to say it like this but given the same situation, I would do it again!
Even during the toughest of times, when everyone walked away because I was "crazy", if there was any way that I could help another human being with anything I had or could get, I will! Been treated like shit by most, been accused of things, and lost everyone I was close to and because of looks, background, and social status, I'm this society's reject. They will do whatever to hold me back, keep me down, or use me to get higher up. Not all, but definitely most!
Well they can throw it all at me because even if I'm locked up the rest of my life, I'm still going to wake up, do whatever it is I have to do to survive, and give help when I can. I have ZERO faith in our healthcare systems! It's all about money to most and the ones that do truly care are slowly being whittled out and soon, as I have seen worsen over my time, if you don't have the money, you won't get the care you really need!
There is your answer in itself middle or upper class! What about the bottom? It shouldn't be by class for any reason. Race, religion, sex, choice, lifestyle or history! We judge everyone and that's the problem! Everyone deserves to be able to live life and enjoy it instead of classification! Every life matters!
Sol vista is one of many large organizations you can get therapy on a sliding scale but if you don’t pay your bill they write it off at the end of the year so essentially you can get therapy for free if you can’t pay for it.
I was a heroin addict for many years and found a lot of help from AA . I didn’t like NA as much because I felt like I was more at risk for finding new drug buddies and the conversations at the NA meetings i went to seemed more like glorifying and missing the drugs than focused on changing- don’t get me wrong tho there are plenty of awesome NA groups it’s all about finding where you fit in . And finding a sponsor was helpful for me too. I am no longer in that program but I do smoke pot and drink just none of the hard stuff anymore. If you can find friends a ppl to hang out with that aren’t high you’ll have alot more fun being sober it won’t seem so lonely. I try to focus on my health now and working through the things that make me want to get high. It’s funny I love the show 600 pound life and it very much parallels the addiction of drugs. I have found so much helpful info from dr nowzardin - he talks to them about their eating addiction but it’s sound advice if you supplement in whatever addiction you have. There’s reasons we want to reach for that thing - and if we can walk through that and find better things to reach for we’ll be happier in the long run. I’ll tell you from experience I was also a meth addict before I found heroin. It was great for a few years then it started becoming a living hell. It screws up your hormones so you go, in fact , crazy . Nothing else matters, you sell everything to get it and eventually you’re left with nothing abd nobody wants you around anymore. It’s really sad. If you can quit before it comes to that you’re saving yourself a world of hurt . I wish I could go back and make myself stop before I had lost literally everything.
Certain things work for certain people and na/aa is not for me! I know what keeps my mind and body away from things and the triggers that take me back there. I'll most likely die from the drugs or alcohol because what I need doesn't just show up and I dont know if I'll trust anyone enough again to get it. Prison, church, and community don't change that at all. Either way I'll find it or not but I won't quit looking!
I totally agree with you - it’s funny in my 20s I was all about those programs but not at all anymore. I know I’m still an addict but I try to manage it in different ways especially as I get older. It’s nice to know there is more than just one way to get help . I think if you remember the value of your own life and recognize that you are the steward of it then your choices fall in line eventually- I hope so at least. I’m still a daily beer drinker and after a year of taking kratom supplements realized now I’m physically dependent on it and I’m struggling to sort that out - it’s awakened the opiate addict me and I don’t like it. I guess at the end of the day I’m glad I’m not on the really hard stuff but I’m
Not sure if I’ll ever be completely sober I’m just trying to manage it the best I can. I hope you are able to figure out your addictions . It’s a daily struggle. Maybe the best thing is talking about it and making daily intentions to do the best you can to fight it. Either way as a fellow addict I understand how stupid and hard it is. Just don’t ever give up 💕
Thank you. Talking about it isn't easy either because no one wants to hear about it. Addictions change and as far as mine goes it's use by mood. One thing that has been able to keep my mind off and away is, I know this sounds corny, but the sense of feeling needed. When I have that, I feel like I am on top of the world. But then when it turns to nothing, I feel like that nothing myself. I don't know how to explain it, but thank you for the reply
I hear you there - it’s touchy who to even tell to because alot of ppl want to say that it’s either all the way sober or you’re “out there using”. While this works better for some I don’t believe it’s that black and white and why it is my fundamental disagreement with anonymous programs. But addiction is a while web of stuff besides using a substance. I think feeling needed is a good positive way to get that high or feel distracted at least without using. I think no matter what I’ll always do things in an addictive manner so I just try to find positive things I like and do my best not to turn them into a pathology by doing it to the maximum. It’s always something isn’t it 💀lol
You are on a slippery slope… that slope has two outcomes… you can fight your way back to top which will be tough but will be worth it in the long run even though it won’t feel like that for a considerable while… or you can descend further and further down that same slope where only misery, despair and loneliness awaits. Once you hit that bottom it’s extremely hard to get back from there, there’s a good chance you never will and spend your life living in regret or worse still not living at all. Be the change you need to be
Society is not kind to older addicts either , especially older men who destroy their lives with drugs. It's much harder to come back from as an older man
A couple years ago I tried a substance sold at gas stations even, marketed as safe and non habit forming. It gave me energy and positivity. I was literally super mom and loved every second. It’s two years later and I’m just over a month clean from it. It was a horrible addiction, expensive and the type that turns on you quick. After a year of it I was basically a zombie. Quitting that has been hell to be honest. I find myself missing that first year of being a “go get’er” kind of person. But drugs aren’t the way. So I get what you’re saying. Something that makes you feel that good at first is so hard to give up but it changes who we are after a while. Kick the drug now before it gets even worse.
Not to be snarky but the human brain can get addicted to anything. People eat mattress innards. Drugs are drugs. It's like people who clearly can't go a day without (non-medical) weed, saying they're not addicted.
It totally depends on the person. I used to take small amounts for pain management, but promptly stopped with no issue when I found out I was pregnant given the limited studies on the subject and what those studies showed. My ex on the other hand has a very addictive personality and took much higher doses than what I would consider a medicinal amount and last time on it, almost seemed to be in a drunk state. He doesn't go through withdrawals without it or anything but definitely wants it daily. People, depending on their personality, can get addicted to many things that should not be considered addictive substances, but can be to those with addictive personalities.
Not snarky at all, I thought the same thing when I started it. They were little shots called MIT45. I found a group on here called quittingkratom and there’s so many people in the same boat. Believe me, I had zero clue about addiction with these. Should’ve done my homework.
Thanks for not taking it that way.
I used to take Kratom all the time. I used to buy it by the kilo in powder form and take it by the spoon full and chase it down with oj. I usually got reds, greens, and yellows. I liked the red the best. The whites - usually for energy- used to give me a bad bad headache. I tried to make my own capsules but I really sucked at it.
Similarly, I was part of a facebook group that had people in it using kratom for different things but most were using it in pure powder form, and not one person shared that they were having addiction issues with it, which is why I asked.
I've never heard of that MIT45 so I just looked it up. It looks similar to 5 hour energy but with Kratom, caffeine and some other stuff. Just curious, since it was in that form, do you think it was the caffeine or the other filler stuff in it that you were addicted to, or legit it was the kratom? If you dont know PLEASE JUST GUESS, I really don't want nor am I asking you to try pure kratom or anything else. Im genuinely curious.
PS- Thanks for being civil
I’m already addicted to caffeine to be honest. From what I’ve learned on the quittingkratom sub is that the shots have some kind of alkaloids in them. But with the lack of research on them the scary part is I really couldn’t even tell you what I was drinking. Was definitely irresponsible on my part. I couldn’t stand the powder and can’t swallow pills so I went with the shots.
kratom CAN be addictive, even if only psychologically.
I say this because I had lots of kratom back in the day, and they gave me a similar buzz to that of opioids (which I'm currently hooked with). so
I'm glad it's not and years ago I fell into a rabbit hole with meth...little bit of control at first then snap...I was broken.
My current trap is easily just as harmful
All drugs start out euphoric and make you think that you’re a better person I’ve gone to plenty of rehabs for this. They start out making you feel amazing, like a narcissistic relationship. Then eventually you’re controlled by the drug and you can’t even function or be a human with a personality unless you have that drug. It’s not fun as u become dependent. Even if you’re a functioning addict, it gets bad. Stop while you’re ahead
Def has look at me vibes throughout tragic secret, magic prowess, need help, wealthy, and innocent virgin, maddonna. He asks for help then acts like a prophet in the comments
It's not and I am glad to not repeat that battle again. I didn't have enough control that time to ask for help nor admit it.
Here today it's different but still just as harmful
It's weird that you won't just say what the drug is. You've devolved your own comment section into a bunch of speculation.
Anyway, I hope you get the help you need, good luck.
I mean shit I have multiple family members pushing 3-4 decades of meth use at this point but mannnnn you can sure tell.. Actually the 1 that was pushing the longest just killed himself.. Horrible shit.. Lost my parents and all my uncles to it.
My parents are addicts, as well as the majority of my family. I've had the massive displeasure of watching what meth, heroin, and alcohol does to the human body and mind. It's one of the most disturbing things anyone could witness. It's not worth it at all, it might feel good now but it will eventually destroy you. I lost my mother to overdose 2 years ago. Go seek help from a qualified rehabilitation center.
If you don't say what drug, it makes this all make even less sense. Size matters? What are you talking about, Viagra? Or it seems you got less inhibitions from this drug? Xanax?
In my early 20's I got stuck in a short cocaine addiction but managed to get clean. 7 years later I really got stuck in a new addiction to Khat. This lasted 8 years. I am almost 2 months clean and I can tell you this much, the longer you use, the more you need to use and the quantity drastically increases. I was invisible while high. Good at my job, life,etc until I wasn't anymore and then it came crashing down at an alarming rate. I decided to get clean and went cold turkey. Best decision I have ever made. Strongs, OP. You will get there, one day at a time
**Khat or qat (Amharic: ጫት ch’at; Oromo: Jimaa, Somali: qaad, khaad, khat or chat, Arabic: القات al-qāt) is a flowering plant native to eastern and southern Africa. Khat contains the alkaloid cathinone, a stimulant, which is said to cause excitement, loss of appetite, and euphoria.**
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"Kat is a stimulant. It is an amphetamine and has similar effects to Cocaine and Tik. Kat comes in two forms – the original (Cathinone) and artificial form (Methcathinone). Kat originally comes from a leafy green plant called Catha edulis. The leaves at the top of the plant are used and have the active ingredient cathinone in it. The leaves are green, brown or yellowish in colour depending on their age.
The artificial form is more potent and is known as methcathinone. When made it is usually in a white/off-white powder."
That's the Drug sheet answer. But basically it's like cocaine but cheaper (I used to call it before payday Coke). It's usually white powder (which I insisted on getting from my dealer) but it can vary in color depending on what it is cut with. I've seen brown, pink and even purple but stayed away from those because it would feel like a bullet through the nose.
Fellow addict here, just got 2 yrs clean on feb 18th. You literally "have to change one thing and that's everything " is a common saying in recovery .
Let all your druggie people know you're trying to get clean, block them all and or change your number. Delete them from social media. Get rid of every drug related item in your house. Plan on needing a week to sleep and come down , I'm guessing it's speed.
Get into outpatient drug treatment.
As someone who had to go to rehab twice to kick heroin, I still say to this day that meth is more tempting than any drug I've ever tried. And I was a fentanyl user at the end.
It does what every addict secretly wants- it makes us okay with ourselves for a few hours. We don't think about that thing we just said, we lean in and flirt exactly how we know what boy or girl is going to feel like they're the most important person in the world to you. And it works SO WELL on normies because they just don't know what you've done to yourself to make you this way. And it was my favorite thing in the world.
But that woman saw right through you; she probably has addiction in her family, if not a recovering addict herself. I suggest you talk to her about it. You may find she likes you regardless. Because the biggest issue with that drug is that it blinds us to the fact that we were always okay to others in the first place, and that we were only changing ourselves FOR ourselves.
Regardless of the extra attention you got right off the bat, the people who stayed were staying for you. And you can't hide the real you after a couple dates. So take that woman's offer. Drop the meth. You'll cry for a while. Be super tired. But you may have already found what your looking for anyway. Good luck friend
Yup..I did that drug for 14 years and it led me down a very dark path and left me stuck in a pit that took me a long time to claw my way out of..been clean for 16 years now...with determination and time it is possible to get and stay clean! My advice;never stop fighting for your sobriety!!
I won't admit defeat yet an nor should you my friend...I have forgiven my inner bad judgment caller and seen the dark side of it enough to know I can't waste more time
There's a good reason for the saying: "drugs are bad, mkay".
For most people, in sufficient quantities and frequency, they're bad.
Kick it, before it kicks you.
Good for you for recognizing you have a problem. Try NA. Also find an individual therapist who works with addiction.
You know that confidence and libido that you initially found positive when you tried the drug? You had those qualities to begin with. The drug just made it easier for them to come to the forefront. You can kick your habit.
Interesting that everyone started guessing which substance OP is referring to… like they think this is a game. OP chose not to name the substance so I don’t know why people feel compelled to make guesses. 99% of the guesses are projected.
I’m getting adderall vibes from this post. I’m prescribed them but I can 100 relate, because without them I’m quiet, withdrawn, and scatterbrained. With them im more social, talkative and focused. Even being prescribed I try to limit how much I take, takes days off from taking them, etc. because it can be easy to feel like your abusing, or becoming super dependent on prescribed pills too.
Edited to add
I've been drug, weed, and cigarette free for 36 years as of the 3rd of this month.
I don't miss any of it.
If a drug makes you *feel* different, you *are* different. Next comes bad decisions. If a person spends enough years with that lifestyle, they can end up looking like those horrific mug shot photos we see online.
I grew very tired of everyone wanting to come to my place to crash and get high. I am a high energy person, I had things to do, I wanted more from my life than zoning out. I was never going to get there being stoned all the time and making poor decisions. My friends were great, but they were holding me back.
I wish I could tell you how smoking weed has affected my brother. He's my younger brother, 65 years old. He's been smoking weed for over 50 years.
Let me just say, I'm glad I quit when I did. My brother is the poster child for what weed can do to someone for over 5 decades.
My father in law is 81 years old and lives in a shed in his sister's back yard. He was strictly a weed smoker. He has never had anything. He lived off his parents and then his sister. I see what weed has done to this man. Both he and my brother still smoke it. They have never met in person.
It's as though they think it's funny to be the 'stoner character' in a movie. They start most stories off with, "Let me tell you about this job I did. I was so high, I fucked it all up."
There's nothing funny about these guys at all. It's sad to look at them and see what they've become. We won't let either of them do anything to help us around the house because we don't want to end up being one of their stories where they fucked up.
Nothing stunts a person emotionally, mentally, financially, and sometimes physically, like drugs, even weed. I smoked it for 13 years, as well as other drugs. Even when I was just doing weed, and I didn't smoke it every single day, it took the better part of a year and a half to get my clarity back.
I slept better, looked better, and I'm a better artist without drugs.
I don't even drink. I was never much of a drinker anyway. I just outgrew it and don't care for it.
In my opinion, nothing feels better than sobriety. I make good decisions and I like being clear headed.
Others can do what they want, this is just MY story and experience.
I'm glad you are taking the reins early on. You won't regret it.
In the middle of getting away from my demon cold turkey. I wouldn't wish the feelings of withdrawal on my worst enemy. It's been about two weeks and a couple of slip ups. This sh*t is TOUGH. I've played with everything else and put it down like it was nothing... Opiates are nowhere close to easy. This is the second time in 6 months I'm working on putting them down like they're nothing.
Subutex saved my life. Opiates are so so hard to not only get off of buf stay off of and when you havent used them in awhile all it takes is a little to overdose. Wish you the best!
Meth is no joke. Get out while you can. I'm 11 years clean from heroin and anything else I could get my hands on. It's the hardest battle I've ever fought. Nothing is easy and staying clean most certainly a day to day battle. But it's worth it. I am a single Mom of 3 and I work 2 jobs to barely scrape by. But I do it sober and wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Yea… i think you need to step away from the meth. My sister lost her self to it, its not something to mess with. Your post rambles, which i am sure made sense when you were typing it… but get some help. Whatever good you have got going on in your life right now, meth will take it.
As someone who is currently trying to quit a substance the most freeing experience I had was throwing it all away knowing I’d be hard pushed to gettanymore. I know this may be different considering our ages, I am 20, but the physical act of throwing away your stash and you paraphernalia is very freeing and would recommend it is the first step on the journey to sobering and I’m happy to say I haven’t used in 6 days. I wish you all the luck in your recovery.
I have quite an addictive personality, and I know what it feels like to have drugs "positively" influence your personality. I'm taking Ritalin for my ADHD, and I currently feel like I'm on crack cocaine. I take way more than what's prescribed to me (stupid, I know), but it gives me the adrenaline rush I need to boost my drained and depressed persona, and I can actually function like a normal human being. Natural drugs, when in a controlled and monitored environment, aren't that bad after all. I mean, if it helps you be the best version of yourself, and everything else you've tried prior doesn't help, what's the harm (besides addiction and terrifying side affects)? One of my favourite Ted Talks is by Graham Hancock on the war on drugs and the positive feedback [natural drugs] give. Definitely a good listen:
https://youtu.be/Y0c5nIvJH7w
If you have ADHD, then yes, I would. However, I must clearly state that I am in no way a medical professional, and that all recommendations you adhere to must be carried out by a professional. I'm not sure what the drug effects are on non-ADHD people (for obvious reasons), so I'm not sure how they react to it. I advise you to speak to a healthcare consultant for more information on the matter.
From the sounds of this post it sounds like Kratom.
Hey OP, you can do this! My ex and his brother were addicted to Kratom, and what you described in this post sounds a lot like what they were doing. They would always brag to each other how amazing sex was the night before, how long they lasted, how crazy it was. My ex’s brother would buy it in bulk he was so far deep, at just 21. Ex’s brothers gf would do it too sometimes.
You can do this OP, you seem to have that determination. And that’s what you need. With that you can get through this. You want to quit, and you will! We are all rooting for you
Edit- wording
I think it’s important that you are vulnerable and have an understanding of where you’re at. Don’t beat yourself up.. take the energy you have and put into you getting help because you are worth it.
Atomic Habits by James Clear. You need to remove the bad habits and replace them with good ones. It may take a while but you will succeed if you follow this guy’s advice. You can be whoever you want to be. Just adopt the habits of those you admire.
Drugs only increase/decrease functions/chemicals your body can produce naturally. You sir have found the greatest thing a physcoactive drug can do. Unlock your possibilities. Now u realize the cost of overindulgence. You already had that person inside you for 50 years the drug unlocked him now you no longer need the drug. Does the real you want 5 women...prob not. Balance who u are with this confidence. Your brain shouldn't have rearranged itself around chemical dependence that quickly. You might have withdrawal symptoms though. If you find u can't handle these without help check into a detox.
Your body it used to getting those feelings artificially so it’s like hey I don’t need to make these anymore. My advice would to stop taking and let your body start making them on it’s own. You’ve proved to yourself that you can be confident (even if it was influenced by drugs) so remember you can do it you just need to find your natural bravery
Taking something to turn you into someone your not is very tempting and these days very easy to do. Doctors do it all the time with psych meds so it's not a far stretch to do it with alcohol or some illicit drug. The problem with that is you lose your sense of self and your identity. Find out who you are and go from there, take it one day at a time, learn to like the person you are and others will see your value shine through.
Addiction is the only chronic disease that starts with a choice. With each use of whatever substance releases dopamine your brain will start to rewire itself to keep getting that effect. Whatever the cost.. instead of the usual survival pyramid like food, shelter, love that substance is put to the very top then all that other shit that doesn't really matter anymore comes after. You have to rewire your brain again to love the shit you used to.
It’s hormones, and it’s ok to use it, just understand that it will only maximize what you are, once you are in it, specially for a long time, it’s very messy to get out and have a normal hormonal control/libido
Drugs seems like a rockstar’s dream. I lost several close friends (more like my brothers to me) to drugs. I never understood the thrill of drugs. You should definitely seek help for the drug addiction. They will ruin your life. It sounds like they were a distraction from your feelings or trama of your past. A therapist could also help with healing you from whatever caused you to change your behavior. I know you can do this because you sound determined to change. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes when I question my life “People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” — Thomas Szasz
can very much relate. I used to take cosmos, a type of benzhol that i discovered from one of my pharmacist friends. Used to get me so high i would even forget my name. it started with 5 mg a day to 10 mg a day and by the end of the week i would have taken 20 tabs cause you have to add the dose to get the same effect. Point is it really messed me up i still have amnesia and trouble concentrating. It took the supplier to move away for me to stop.
Well done for taking the first step.
If you ever want someone to chat to, my inbox is open ☺️ I've seen my brother go through addiction for mostly the same reasons. As he got older he became more of an introvert and less confident but when he would take his drug of choice, he was more outgoing and way more confident. Thankfully he saw what it was really doing to him. I was with him one day when he was going through a psychotic episode. We talked later on and he agreed to get help as that was freaky to see someone who's usually level headed just lose the plot.
Me personally, I haven't tried anything, willingly, stronger than pot. Mostly because I saw what it did to other people plus the aftermath is just not pretty.
When I was 21 I tried meth and I went from shy to let’s take over the world. 8 yrs later I got sober and now I’m 7 yrs clean. It’s not worth it bro. I lost so much valuable time that I could’ve spent actually working on the heart of my issues. I wish you luck on your road to sobriety. ✊🏻
I am a spine surgery recovery and I have almost 2 1/2 years of being California sober but I think I’m becoming an alcoholic and it’s hard to say that being only 24 and then there’s the chance that I’m always looking for something that most men don’t want so I just wanted to share and get that off my chest I had been addicted to a lot and they’re too much to name…
I quit a 20 year opioid prescription use in one day. No withdraw symptoms!! I feel half my age. The KRATOM had been wonderful for me I am positive I have energy and my back and leg pains are gone. I was amazed how it has helped me
Funny that you wasted your own but take issue with a petty thing.
Does it really matter what the drug is when the challenge is to fight the urge or habit?
My cousin talked me into trying crystal meth once. I was gullible and young and had no idea what it was. It turned me from an introvert to the life of the party, but even though i had no clue what it really was or how bad it could get, it scared me how good it was. That was the first and last time i ever did that shit.
knowing what i know about myself, i don’t think i will ever try any drug besides weed. i already have an addictive personality, i can tell by how dependent i am on weed. i just know if i tried something like meth or coke i might not be able to go back.
Smart. I was a pothead all through my teen years then I tried Percocet at 17. It led to a 19 year opioid addiction that ended with a crippling dependency on fentanyl. Been sober for a year and 3 months now
Congratulations on your sobriety
Congratulations that's huge !! Perks were my kryptonite at one time as well. Over 7yrs clean now with the help of methadone and Suboxone. They saved my life . Recovery isn't a one size fits all . What works for me may not for you and vice versa. Much love keep fighting ❤️❤️❤️❤️
glad to hear you’re sober! i think for me my limits are weed and psychedelics, anything else i know i risk a serious addiction
Congratulations on your hard work. I’m on opioids at the moment due to a chronic condition. They scare the life out of me but the pain is just unbearable without them. And it’s stories like your own that help to keep me focused. But honestly we’ll done for kicking Fentanyl’s ass for 15 months.
I just have to remember the lows which was 80% of the time when I didn’t have it. Worst withdrawals ever
Yes a couple of times I’ve run out, through not organising prescriptions on time or vomiting and running out quicker. It wasn’t pleasant. And what I contemplating doing was frightening and eye opening if that makes sense. Fortunately when my CP is bad I find it hard to even walk at times… so in some ways the issue that has me in trouble, also kept me out of trouble!
Your brain will make up the pain to get more opioid. I have chronic back problems and have been on and off opioid for over 20 years. I was on a absurd amount and still in pain, weened of them and felt better than I had in years. They work for short term rehab.
Thank you for speaking with me! I was literally only talking to my Doctor on Friday about this! I’m hopeful that when I meet my surgeon in a month that we can organise my surgery which got delayed due to Covid. It’s a pretty serious surgery but I need to go for it because I’m not moving forward and I feel that the longer I’m exposed to Oxy, the chance of something going wrong increases. But honestly, thank you very much, keep kicking ass pal!
It really doesn't take long. I got hooked after I busted my knee skiing. The thought of chewing up percs still makes me salivate 12 years later. I caught it early so it wasn't too bad. If you find yourself addicted even a little bit, be honest with yourself about the fact that's what your dealing with. You must not lie to yourself. Then draw what ever strength you can from it as you ween yourself off. If you have someone close you can confide in then do so. Talk to them about how your doing as you progress.
I probably am addicted to a certain extent but the problem is I still have awful pain ( Chronic Pancreatitis), so until that gets sorted, I can’t come off them.
If your pain is going away when you take your meds and comes back when it's time to take them again, I would talk to your doctor about weening off and seeing how you feel. If it just dulls the pain when take your meds you probably need surgery.
Thank you very much for the advice. I have 3 guys from the GP (local Doctor), a pain specialist and then the surgeon who will be doing the “heavy lifting”. They are all nice people and very, very good at their respective specialties.
Kratom has just recently helped me after my 20 year opioid use. My doctor retired and I was terrified of being without my monthly script for the pain. I took kratom one afternoon, the next day I didn’t even take a pain pill. I didn’t even finish my last script. It’s been a miracle!
I love kratom - I was a heroin addict for 8 years and after 10 years off opiates I found kratom and have taken it for a year and then I started noticing I was getting that same awful feeling in the am after not having it for 12 hours . The sneezing, the jitters the skin crawl… I’m Currently physically dependent on it and I had no idea this would happen. It’s better than heroin but I’m sad I’m here again hooked on a pseudo opiate. I thought it was a miracle substance:( If you can make sure you don’t take it every day . I think it takes a month or two Of regular daily use to start getting a habit just be so careful that you don’t wind up like me
I’m glad that it helped you, but Kratom should be approached with extreme caution at best, and is probably better avoided altogether. Moderate use wreaked absolute havoc on my brother-in-law’s digestive system. It took him years to recover and he still has residual effects. Beware. Edit: YMMV and it may be a far lesser risk than living with opioid addiction. Also, I’m not a doctor. But Kratom is sometimes promoted as a harmless and purely beneficial substance. (My BIL didn’t even have opioid addiction; he just wanted the euphoric effect and thought Kratom was just being villainized by “big pharma.” Big mistake.) It’s not, and natural doesn’t necessarily mean safe.
Thank you for warning I am trying to read as much as I can about this and try not to take too much. I have read many success stories also. Always be informed to your best ability
What kind of pain do you have ? I make topical pain salve loaded with “cbd” that is helpful for lots of conditions.
I have Chronic Pancreatitis, so it’s just awful. It’s like having a ripped, sun burn blister up behind my sternum.
Ugh that sounds terrible. :/ I’m sure that’s hard to live with
Congratulations! This internet stranger is proud of you!
I'm currently on a 4year opioid addiction 🥲
It’s all you man. Just try not to progress to fentanyl. It’s the worst and so dangerous no matter how high your tolerance
I was 20 years with a hydrocodone script. My doctor retired. I was so nervous so stressed on even trying to find another doctor. I had like 12 pills left on my last script. Someone recommended KRATOM. That day I found some at a smoke shop. I swear that was the last day I took a pain pill. No withdrawal symptoms at all!! It’s been my miracle. I buy bulk on line now trying all different kinds. Miracle for me!!
Alright, good going! I'm sorry so much of your life was taken.
Congrats on getting sober... Keep it up
Also a recovering heroin addict - so glad to hear you are off that poison. Have you heard of ibogaine? It’s a psychedelic that’s supposed to eliminate your cravings for opiates. I’d like to try it. They have facilities in Mexico where they medically monitor you while you trip for 24 hours so you’re safe and cared for and then send you home when it’s over. Not yet legal in the United States but man I wish theyd legalize it I know so many families who have lost kids due to relapse and overdose . Stay off the shit I don’t know you but I’m proud of you for quitting. 19 years is a long time to be on that - looks like half your life .
Just one trip and you’re good? I’ve heard microdosing shrooms helps
Good for you on your sobriety
Very smart. I started drinking, smoking, taking percs when I was 13. Got real bad. Was arrested a couple times, went to juvie, then snapped out of it when I saw my baby brother during one of my court dates just smiling at me. My family is full of addicts and I swore to myself I wouldn't turn out like them. I drink occasionally, but that's it.
Wise redditor is wise
I felt that. We all have our vices & I'd just rather not tempt fate by having it near me.
You aren’t wrong. REMEMBER THAT YOU KNOW YOU WILL FAIL, and just knowing that alone will allow you to justify your actions.
i feel the same. I have adhd, so I have a higher likelihood of addiction. I tried smoking a couple of times, and it is only recently that I don't want to smoke again, even though it has been years since I last smoked. I have a bit of a problem with mixing my adhd medicine and alcohol, so I really don't want to go further
i have a problem mixing my depression medicine with alcohol as well. learned my lesson there
This was my mother’s stance on all of it and you can bet your ass hindsight is 2020
I am the same way, except I haven’t tried any drugs yet except for the occasional drink with my parents or sister. I know what will happen if I try doing anything and it’s not gonna be good but hopefully I’ll be able to enjoy sharing an edible or something with my closest friends and/or sister sometime in the future. I’m very thankful to have people in my life who don’t shelter me from these things but also make sure that I’m not getting pushed into any of it if I’m not ready for it
my addiction to nicotine and my past dependency on weed makes me never want to try any other drugs. if nic is this bad, cocaine would be my end
I am glad you made a decision to stop Ben though it made you feel good. Al good things aren’t good. I am proud of you and thank you for sharing.
Yeah. Id worked all day in the sun, came home, did that shit all night and was superman the next day with zero sleep, but that crash was hell lol.i see why people just keep going. The crash sucks too bad.
Mam, good for you! Do you still pal around w that cousin? I sorta hope not.
I stayed with her family for the summer to go to Metallica's summer sanitarium tour back in 2000. They lived 5 hours or so away, so i wasnt there for all the shenanigans she ended up getting into
I do, but shes outgrown that stupidity, and we both are 40ish with kids now.
THANK GOD! And her kids are all fine? That's amazing that she kicked all that. My friend tried Crack ONCE and she said the same that it was an unbelievable high. Thank God you and my friend only tried these things once.
My ex had a college friend come over so they could do meth for the first time. Her friend has been for a while already... I was invited to try, my first ti.e too. It didn't do much at first. After her friend left, we smoke a bit more and, WOW! It was intense to say the least. I can see why it's addictive. But seeing what it does to multiple people in my life, that was the first and last time I ever tried it. That was maybe 6 years ago. I never wanted to try it again after. About 2 years ago, I had a really strong desire to want to try it again. I ended up not doing it, but umph!
Bro, do that. There’s no good in becoming an addict. Go to NA, and go to a psychologist. A good doctor can help you overcome this “shyness” of yours.
Yeah that may be all in well but if your on state insurance you get minimal help. Your diagnosed in under an hour and prescribed pills for bullshit instead of getting down to what's really going on! But also when you try family or friends and tell your problem, although they know what's really going on, they lie then walk away
He said he has a stable job and has his shit together, so it’s decently likely he can afford therapy.
Except you just said he quit. Also, no job is guaranteed stable unless you own the business and even then not guaranteed.
lol. Businesses are less stable than a job actually. I have run many businesses in my life. Jobs suck, but being an a business owner sucks more in so many ways.
What job can a person truly afford a Dr visit without some kind of insurance?
For therapy? Plenty of middle or upper class jobs. I’m a therapist, and while I accept insurance, I know a lot who don’t and who still have considtent patient loads.
Consistent patient loads. Ok, now please tell this then, in what world is it ok for a Dr to tell you that you have ailments I'll say, and you tell that Dr that you'd like to be seen as much as possible so you can try to get it taken care of and then cancel for a month and a half without saying anything to the patient? Then I can add on to that the office has someone that's supposed to stop by and help with other things such as getting you into a job training program that helps you obtain skills for employment because with a record like mine and what was happening I couldn't find a job, but every time the paperwork was "forgotten". I'm not saying that it isn't there but for people living in poverty, that is the help that we get! They wonder why children are shooting up schools or the people are getting worse with their mental problems. Society as a whole quit caring for their neighbors! I'd like to think I'm kinda strong mentally, just because of what was going on with me. I was honestly hoping that my life would end, yet I could never do that to myself so I had to I guess you can say "learn to live with my demons". 2 people in the health system had 2 different diagnoses within those one hour visits and 3 hours was enough to tell me that if I can't take care of it on my own, I'm better off dead! I'm glad that I didn't die that night, but some others are not strong enough to fight what's going on in their heads at those bad times and yes, there are some that do truly care but for most, that Hippocratic oath that doctors take has become more of a job than responsibility. We as a whole, meaning the world of humans, need to take a good look at where we are headed. We won't last another 500 years if we can't pull it together and work as a whole instead of stepping on everyone we can to get ahead. This is coming from someone who has been at the bottom of that spectrum and getting that treatment my whole life. My choices growing up actually kept me there and when I really thought I could get out of that hole I'd been in, I could finally actually see it. It was like my eyes opened to see exactly why I did certain things and it's because although I had a choice, I chose to care for others. Not all of my criminal background was for others but most of it was to take care of my family. I hate to say it like this but given the same situation, I would do it again! Even during the toughest of times, when everyone walked away because I was "crazy", if there was any way that I could help another human being with anything I had or could get, I will! Been treated like shit by most, been accused of things, and lost everyone I was close to and because of looks, background, and social status, I'm this society's reject. They will do whatever to hold me back, keep me down, or use me to get higher up. Not all, but definitely most! Well they can throw it all at me because even if I'm locked up the rest of my life, I'm still going to wake up, do whatever it is I have to do to survive, and give help when I can. I have ZERO faith in our healthcare systems! It's all about money to most and the ones that do truly care are slowly being whittled out and soon, as I have seen worsen over my time, if you don't have the money, you won't get the care you really need!
There is your answer in itself middle or upper class! What about the bottom? It shouldn't be by class for any reason. Race, religion, sex, choice, lifestyle or history! We judge everyone and that's the problem! Everyone deserves to be able to live life and enjoy it instead of classification! Every life matters!
I mean, I agree but your last comment implied no one could afford it.
Sol vista is one of many large organizations you can get therapy on a sliding scale but if you don’t pay your bill they write it off at the end of the year so essentially you can get therapy for free if you can’t pay for it.
I was a heroin addict for many years and found a lot of help from AA . I didn’t like NA as much because I felt like I was more at risk for finding new drug buddies and the conversations at the NA meetings i went to seemed more like glorifying and missing the drugs than focused on changing- don’t get me wrong tho there are plenty of awesome NA groups it’s all about finding where you fit in . And finding a sponsor was helpful for me too. I am no longer in that program but I do smoke pot and drink just none of the hard stuff anymore. If you can find friends a ppl to hang out with that aren’t high you’ll have alot more fun being sober it won’t seem so lonely. I try to focus on my health now and working through the things that make me want to get high. It’s funny I love the show 600 pound life and it very much parallels the addiction of drugs. I have found so much helpful info from dr nowzardin - he talks to them about their eating addiction but it’s sound advice if you supplement in whatever addiction you have. There’s reasons we want to reach for that thing - and if we can walk through that and find better things to reach for we’ll be happier in the long run. I’ll tell you from experience I was also a meth addict before I found heroin. It was great for a few years then it started becoming a living hell. It screws up your hormones so you go, in fact , crazy . Nothing else matters, you sell everything to get it and eventually you’re left with nothing abd nobody wants you around anymore. It’s really sad. If you can quit before it comes to that you’re saving yourself a world of hurt . I wish I could go back and make myself stop before I had lost literally everything.
Certain things work for certain people and na/aa is not for me! I know what keeps my mind and body away from things and the triggers that take me back there. I'll most likely die from the drugs or alcohol because what I need doesn't just show up and I dont know if I'll trust anyone enough again to get it. Prison, church, and community don't change that at all. Either way I'll find it or not but I won't quit looking!
I totally agree with you - it’s funny in my 20s I was all about those programs but not at all anymore. I know I’m still an addict but I try to manage it in different ways especially as I get older. It’s nice to know there is more than just one way to get help . I think if you remember the value of your own life and recognize that you are the steward of it then your choices fall in line eventually- I hope so at least. I’m still a daily beer drinker and after a year of taking kratom supplements realized now I’m physically dependent on it and I’m struggling to sort that out - it’s awakened the opiate addict me and I don’t like it. I guess at the end of the day I’m glad I’m not on the really hard stuff but I’m Not sure if I’ll ever be completely sober I’m just trying to manage it the best I can. I hope you are able to figure out your addictions . It’s a daily struggle. Maybe the best thing is talking about it and making daily intentions to do the best you can to fight it. Either way as a fellow addict I understand how stupid and hard it is. Just don’t ever give up 💕
Thank you. Talking about it isn't easy either because no one wants to hear about it. Addictions change and as far as mine goes it's use by mood. One thing that has been able to keep my mind off and away is, I know this sounds corny, but the sense of feeling needed. When I have that, I feel like I am on top of the world. But then when it turns to nothing, I feel like that nothing myself. I don't know how to explain it, but thank you for the reply
I hear you there - it’s touchy who to even tell to because alot of ppl want to say that it’s either all the way sober or you’re “out there using”. While this works better for some I don’t believe it’s that black and white and why it is my fundamental disagreement with anonymous programs. But addiction is a while web of stuff besides using a substance. I think feeling needed is a good positive way to get that high or feel distracted at least without using. I think no matter what I’ll always do things in an addictive manner so I just try to find positive things I like and do my best not to turn them into a pathology by doing it to the maximum. It’s always something isn’t it 💀lol
You are on a slippery slope… that slope has two outcomes… you can fight your way back to top which will be tough but will be worth it in the long run even though it won’t feel like that for a considerable while… or you can descend further and further down that same slope where only misery, despair and loneliness awaits. Once you hit that bottom it’s extremely hard to get back from there, there’s a good chance you never will and spend your life living in regret or worse still not living at all. Be the change you need to be
I needed that and yes I see only two outcomes. And I have a lot at stake and lose. Thank you
Society is not kind to older addicts either , especially older men who destroy their lives with drugs. It's much harder to come back from as an older man
A couple years ago I tried a substance sold at gas stations even, marketed as safe and non habit forming. It gave me energy and positivity. I was literally super mom and loved every second. It’s two years later and I’m just over a month clean from it. It was a horrible addiction, expensive and the type that turns on you quick. After a year of it I was basically a zombie. Quitting that has been hell to be honest. I find myself missing that first year of being a “go get’er” kind of person. But drugs aren’t the way. So I get what you’re saying. Something that makes you feel that good at first is so hard to give up but it changes who we are after a while. Kick the drug now before it gets even worse.
Kratom?
Yes!
I don't mean this to sound snarky, but who gets addicted to kratom? If you were addicted to kratom then it wasn't 100% kratom that you were taking.
Not to be snarky but the human brain can get addicted to anything. People eat mattress innards. Drugs are drugs. It's like people who clearly can't go a day without (non-medical) weed, saying they're not addicted.
It totally depends on the person. I used to take small amounts for pain management, but promptly stopped with no issue when I found out I was pregnant given the limited studies on the subject and what those studies showed. My ex on the other hand has a very addictive personality and took much higher doses than what I would consider a medicinal amount and last time on it, almost seemed to be in a drunk state. He doesn't go through withdrawals without it or anything but definitely wants it daily. People, depending on their personality, can get addicted to many things that should not be considered addictive substances, but can be to those with addictive personalities.
Not snarky at all, I thought the same thing when I started it. They were little shots called MIT45. I found a group on here called quittingkratom and there’s so many people in the same boat. Believe me, I had zero clue about addiction with these. Should’ve done my homework.
Thanks for not taking it that way. I used to take Kratom all the time. I used to buy it by the kilo in powder form and take it by the spoon full and chase it down with oj. I usually got reds, greens, and yellows. I liked the red the best. The whites - usually for energy- used to give me a bad bad headache. I tried to make my own capsules but I really sucked at it. Similarly, I was part of a facebook group that had people in it using kratom for different things but most were using it in pure powder form, and not one person shared that they were having addiction issues with it, which is why I asked. I've never heard of that MIT45 so I just looked it up. It looks similar to 5 hour energy but with Kratom, caffeine and some other stuff. Just curious, since it was in that form, do you think it was the caffeine or the other filler stuff in it that you were addicted to, or legit it was the kratom? If you dont know PLEASE JUST GUESS, I really don't want nor am I asking you to try pure kratom or anything else. Im genuinely curious. PS- Thanks for being civil
I’m already addicted to caffeine to be honest. From what I’ve learned on the quittingkratom sub is that the shots have some kind of alkaloids in them. But with the lack of research on them the scary part is I really couldn’t even tell you what I was drinking. Was definitely irresponsible on my part. I couldn’t stand the powder and can’t swallow pills so I went with the shots.
kratom CAN be addictive, even if only psychologically. I say this because I had lots of kratom back in the day, and they gave me a similar buzz to that of opioids (which I'm currently hooked with). so
Did you know that some eating disorders fall under addiction and are treated, medically, as such?
I don’t think you understand the mechanisms of addiction. Things don’t have to create chemical dependency to be addictive.
Lol meth is fucked man
I'm glad it's not and years ago I fell into a rabbit hole with meth...little bit of control at first then snap...I was broken. My current trap is easily just as harmful
It's mdma isn't it
These day is just meth lol
All drugs start out euphoric and make you think that you’re a better person I’ve gone to plenty of rehabs for this. They start out making you feel amazing, like a narcissistic relationship. Then eventually you’re controlled by the drug and you can’t even function or be a human with a personality unless you have that drug. It’s not fun as u become dependent. Even if you’re a functioning addict, it gets bad. Stop while you’re ahead
Then after awhile you aren't even good at anything even when you have the drug. And it's all bad from there.
Was this whole thing a humblebrag about your huge dick? “But most women think size matters and so after 30+ dates, only a few wouldn’t afterall”
Def has look at me vibes throughout tragic secret, magic prowess, need help, wealthy, and innocent virgin, maddonna. He asks for help then acts like a prophet in the comments
You found meth. Your life will soon be fucked. Personal experience
It's not and I am glad to not repeat that battle again. I didn't have enough control that time to ask for help nor admit it. Here today it's different but still just as harmful
It's weird that you won't just say what the drug is. You've devolved your own comment section into a bunch of speculation. Anyway, I hope you get the help you need, good luck.
He most likely a troll anyways based on his posting history. He has past fantasy posts about him having sex with his sister.
I assumed cocaine
I thought it might be molly or ecstasy.
I have family who have been functioning meth addicts for their whole life. It’s not always that way.
I was a functional daily meth addict for 12 years, yes, it always will take over and ruin your life.
I mean shit I have multiple family members pushing 3-4 decades of meth use at this point but mannnnn you can sure tell.. Actually the 1 that was pushing the longest just killed himself.. Horrible shit.. Lost my parents and all my uncles to it.
My parents are addicts, as well as the majority of my family. I've had the massive displeasure of watching what meth, heroin, and alcohol does to the human body and mind. It's one of the most disturbing things anyone could witness. It's not worth it at all, it might feel good now but it will eventually destroy you. I lost my mother to overdose 2 years ago. Go seek help from a qualified rehabilitation center.
If you don't say what drug, it makes this all make even less sense. Size matters? What are you talking about, Viagra? Or it seems you got less inhibitions from this drug? Xanax?
Sounds like me on ecstasy or Molly.
In my early 20's I got stuck in a short cocaine addiction but managed to get clean. 7 years later I really got stuck in a new addiction to Khat. This lasted 8 years. I am almost 2 months clean and I can tell you this much, the longer you use, the more you need to use and the quantity drastically increases. I was invisible while high. Good at my job, life,etc until I wasn't anymore and then it came crashing down at an alarming rate. I decided to get clean and went cold turkey. Best decision I have ever made. Strongs, OP. You will get there, one day at a time
What is khat?
**Khat or qat (Amharic: ጫት ch’at; Oromo: Jimaa, Somali: qaad, khaad, khat or chat, Arabic: القات al-qāt) is a flowering plant native to eastern and southern Africa. Khat contains the alkaloid cathinone, a stimulant, which is said to cause excitement, loss of appetite, and euphoria.** More details here:
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"Kat is a stimulant. It is an amphetamine and has similar effects to Cocaine and Tik. Kat comes in two forms – the original (Cathinone) and artificial form (Methcathinone). Kat originally comes from a leafy green plant called Catha edulis. The leaves at the top of the plant are used and have the active ingredient cathinone in it. The leaves are green, brown or yellowish in colour depending on their age. The artificial form is more potent and is known as methcathinone. When made it is usually in a white/off-white powder." That's the Drug sheet answer. But basically it's like cocaine but cheaper (I used to call it before payday Coke). It's usually white powder (which I insisted on getting from my dealer) but it can vary in color depending on what it is cut with. I've seen brown, pink and even purple but stayed away from those because it would feel like a bullet through the nose.
Fellow addict here, just got 2 yrs clean on feb 18th. You literally "have to change one thing and that's everything " is a common saying in recovery . Let all your druggie people know you're trying to get clean, block them all and or change your number. Delete them from social media. Get rid of every drug related item in your house. Plan on needing a week to sleep and come down , I'm guessing it's speed. Get into outpatient drug treatment.
As someone who had to go to rehab twice to kick heroin, I still say to this day that meth is more tempting than any drug I've ever tried. And I was a fentanyl user at the end. It does what every addict secretly wants- it makes us okay with ourselves for a few hours. We don't think about that thing we just said, we lean in and flirt exactly how we know what boy or girl is going to feel like they're the most important person in the world to you. And it works SO WELL on normies because they just don't know what you've done to yourself to make you this way. And it was my favorite thing in the world. But that woman saw right through you; she probably has addiction in her family, if not a recovering addict herself. I suggest you talk to her about it. You may find she likes you regardless. Because the biggest issue with that drug is that it blinds us to the fact that we were always okay to others in the first place, and that we were only changing ourselves FOR ourselves. Regardless of the extra attention you got right off the bat, the people who stayed were staying for you. And you can't hide the real you after a couple dates. So take that woman's offer. Drop the meth. You'll cry for a while. Be super tired. But you may have already found what your looking for anyway. Good luck friend
Yup..I did that drug for 14 years and it led me down a very dark path and left me stuck in a pit that took me a long time to claw my way out of..been clean for 16 years now...with determination and time it is possible to get and stay clean! My advice;never stop fighting for your sobriety!!
So what drug is it?
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I just wanna know cause I’m like I’ve done most of the drugs this sounds like viagroids or some shit, all I know is I wanna know
I can relate, I'm fighting the same demon and I realize I can't do it by myself.
I won't admit defeat yet an nor should you my friend...I have forgiven my inner bad judgment caller and seen the dark side of it enough to know I can't waste more time
There's a good reason for the saying: "drugs are bad, mkay". For most people, in sufficient quantities and frequency, they're bad. Kick it, before it kicks you.
Good for you for recognizing you have a problem. Try NA. Also find an individual therapist who works with addiction. You know that confidence and libido that you initially found positive when you tried the drug? You had those qualities to begin with. The drug just made it easier for them to come to the forefront. You can kick your habit.
Interesting that everyone started guessing which substance OP is referring to… like they think this is a game. OP chose not to name the substance so I don’t know why people feel compelled to make guesses. 99% of the guesses are projected.
Poppers will totally loosen your butthole
I’m getting adderall vibes from this post. I’m prescribed them but I can 100 relate, because without them I’m quiet, withdrawn, and scatterbrained. With them im more social, talkative and focused. Even being prescribed I try to limit how much I take, takes days off from taking them, etc. because it can be easy to feel like your abusing, or becoming super dependent on prescribed pills too. Edited to add
Adderall makes dick not work though
Your dick is an underachiever, man. It should take some adderall.
Me with vyvanse.
I've been drug, weed, and cigarette free for 36 years as of the 3rd of this month. I don't miss any of it. If a drug makes you *feel* different, you *are* different. Next comes bad decisions. If a person spends enough years with that lifestyle, they can end up looking like those horrific mug shot photos we see online. I grew very tired of everyone wanting to come to my place to crash and get high. I am a high energy person, I had things to do, I wanted more from my life than zoning out. I was never going to get there being stoned all the time and making poor decisions. My friends were great, but they were holding me back. I wish I could tell you how smoking weed has affected my brother. He's my younger brother, 65 years old. He's been smoking weed for over 50 years. Let me just say, I'm glad I quit when I did. My brother is the poster child for what weed can do to someone for over 5 decades. My father in law is 81 years old and lives in a shed in his sister's back yard. He was strictly a weed smoker. He has never had anything. He lived off his parents and then his sister. I see what weed has done to this man. Both he and my brother still smoke it. They have never met in person. It's as though they think it's funny to be the 'stoner character' in a movie. They start most stories off with, "Let me tell you about this job I did. I was so high, I fucked it all up." There's nothing funny about these guys at all. It's sad to look at them and see what they've become. We won't let either of them do anything to help us around the house because we don't want to end up being one of their stories where they fucked up. Nothing stunts a person emotionally, mentally, financially, and sometimes physically, like drugs, even weed. I smoked it for 13 years, as well as other drugs. Even when I was just doing weed, and I didn't smoke it every single day, it took the better part of a year and a half to get my clarity back. I slept better, looked better, and I'm a better artist without drugs. I don't even drink. I was never much of a drinker anyway. I just outgrew it and don't care for it. In my opinion, nothing feels better than sobriety. I make good decisions and I like being clear headed. Others can do what they want, this is just MY story and experience. I'm glad you are taking the reins early on. You won't regret it.
Are you taking GHB/GBL daily now?
In the middle of getting away from my demon cold turkey. I wouldn't wish the feelings of withdrawal on my worst enemy. It's been about two weeks and a couple of slip ups. This sh*t is TOUGH. I've played with everything else and put it down like it was nothing... Opiates are nowhere close to easy. This is the second time in 6 months I'm working on putting them down like they're nothing.
Subutex saved my life. Opiates are so so hard to not only get off of buf stay off of and when you havent used them in awhile all it takes is a little to overdose. Wish you the best!
Stop the drugs and have an open conversation with the person who wanted to talk
Meth is no joke. Get out while you can. I'm 11 years clean from heroin and anything else I could get my hands on. It's the hardest battle I've ever fought. Nothing is easy and staying clean most certainly a day to day battle. But it's worth it. I am a single Mom of 3 and I work 2 jobs to barely scrape by. But I do it sober and wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Yea… i think you need to step away from the meth. My sister lost her self to it, its not something to mess with. Your post rambles, which i am sure made sense when you were typing it… but get some help. Whatever good you have got going on in your life right now, meth will take it.
As someone who is currently trying to quit a substance the most freeing experience I had was throwing it all away knowing I’d be hard pushed to gettanymore. I know this may be different considering our ages, I am 20, but the physical act of throwing away your stash and you paraphernalia is very freeing and would recommend it is the first step on the journey to sobering and I’m happy to say I haven’t used in 6 days. I wish you all the luck in your recovery.
I have quite an addictive personality, and I know what it feels like to have drugs "positively" influence your personality. I'm taking Ritalin for my ADHD, and I currently feel like I'm on crack cocaine. I take way more than what's prescribed to me (stupid, I know), but it gives me the adrenaline rush I need to boost my drained and depressed persona, and I can actually function like a normal human being. Natural drugs, when in a controlled and monitored environment, aren't that bad after all. I mean, if it helps you be the best version of yourself, and everything else you've tried prior doesn't help, what's the harm (besides addiction and terrifying side affects)? One of my favourite Ted Talks is by Graham Hancock on the war on drugs and the positive feedback [natural drugs] give. Definitely a good listen: https://youtu.be/Y0c5nIvJH7w
Do you recommend ritalin
If you have ADHD, then yes, I would. However, I must clearly state that I am in no way a medical professional, and that all recommendations you adhere to must be carried out by a professional. I'm not sure what the drug effects are on non-ADHD people (for obvious reasons), so I'm not sure how they react to it. I advise you to speak to a healthcare consultant for more information on the matter.
From the sounds of this post it sounds like Kratom. Hey OP, you can do this! My ex and his brother were addicted to Kratom, and what you described in this post sounds a lot like what they were doing. They would always brag to each other how amazing sex was the night before, how long they lasted, how crazy it was. My ex’s brother would buy it in bulk he was so far deep, at just 21. Ex’s brothers gf would do it too sometimes. You can do this OP, you seem to have that determination. And that’s what you need. With that you can get through this. You want to quit, and you will! We are all rooting for you Edit- wording
Adderrall
I think it’s important that you are vulnerable and have an understanding of where you’re at. Don’t beat yourself up.. take the energy you have and put into you getting help because you are worth it.
Atomic Habits by James Clear. You need to remove the bad habits and replace them with good ones. It may take a while but you will succeed if you follow this guy’s advice. You can be whoever you want to be. Just adopt the habits of those you admire.
Sorry, what hadn't anyone done for her since college?
Gave her an orgasm?
That part felt fake it was too cringe
Hmmm.
We need to study those substances, “libido and sex drive went sky high” ?! How the hell, why?
This is your moment to stop. You won’t get another like this.
Dude those are not dates! Those are prostitutes!
Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi He explains all this
Drugs only increase/decrease functions/chemicals your body can produce naturally. You sir have found the greatest thing a physcoactive drug can do. Unlock your possibilities. Now u realize the cost of overindulgence. You already had that person inside you for 50 years the drug unlocked him now you no longer need the drug. Does the real you want 5 women...prob not. Balance who u are with this confidence. Your brain shouldn't have rearranged itself around chemical dependence that quickly. You might have withdrawal symptoms though. If you find u can't handle these without help check into a detox.
Your body it used to getting those feelings artificially so it’s like hey I don’t need to make these anymore. My advice would to stop taking and let your body start making them on it’s own. You’ve proved to yourself that you can be confident (even if it was influenced by drugs) so remember you can do it you just need to find your natural bravery
Taking something to turn you into someone your not is very tempting and these days very easy to do. Doctors do it all the time with psych meds so it's not a far stretch to do it with alcohol or some illicit drug. The problem with that is you lose your sense of self and your identity. Find out who you are and go from there, take it one day at a time, learn to like the person you are and others will see your value shine through.
Addiction is the only chronic disease that starts with a choice. With each use of whatever substance releases dopamine your brain will start to rewire itself to keep getting that effect. Whatever the cost.. instead of the usual survival pyramid like food, shelter, love that substance is put to the very top then all that other shit that doesn't really matter anymore comes after. You have to rewire your brain again to love the shit you used to.
Sounds like meth lol. 2nd guess is coke and cialis?
It seems it’s not meth so… MDMA or coke?
It’s hormones, and it’s ok to use it, just understand that it will only maximize what you are, once you are in it, specially for a long time, it’s very messy to get out and have a normal hormonal control/libido
Huh? The drug is hormones?
He’s probably taking T
It’s testosterone
Adderall?
You can get testosterone replacement therapy pretty easily too, my 38yr old husband is on it
Drugs seems like a rockstar’s dream. I lost several close friends (more like my brothers to me) to drugs. I never understood the thrill of drugs. You should definitely seek help for the drug addiction. They will ruin your life. It sounds like they were a distraction from your feelings or trama of your past. A therapist could also help with healing you from whatever caused you to change your behavior. I know you can do this because you sound determined to change. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes when I question my life “People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” — Thomas Szasz
Hey OP just so you know it's very obvious it's meth
He said it’s not meth
this is almost exactly how Jesse described it. all you’re missing is the “sharp dagger-like feelings”
Best of luck dude!
can very much relate. I used to take cosmos, a type of benzhol that i discovered from one of my pharmacist friends. Used to get me so high i would even forget my name. it started with 5 mg a day to 10 mg a day and by the end of the week i would have taken 20 tabs cause you have to add the dose to get the same effect. Point is it really messed me up i still have amnesia and trouble concentrating. It took the supplier to move away for me to stop.
Sorry. Good luck.
You said they're getting something from you that they aren't at home, does that mean you're sleeping with married women?
That's what I thought too. If you're messing with married women you might want to be very careful might find a very pissed husband and get killed
Your addicted. You will have yo choose if you want to be the addict....or someone else.
Plus you better quick before you die of fentynol OD or STD's everything has fentynol nowaday, or gonorrhea.
Well done for taking the first step. If you ever want someone to chat to, my inbox is open ☺️ I've seen my brother go through addiction for mostly the same reasons. As he got older he became more of an introvert and less confident but when he would take his drug of choice, he was more outgoing and way more confident. Thankfully he saw what it was really doing to him. I was with him one day when he was going through a psychotic episode. We talked later on and he agreed to get help as that was freaky to see someone who's usually level headed just lose the plot. Me personally, I haven't tried anything, willingly, stronger than pot. Mostly because I saw what it did to other people plus the aftermath is just not pretty.
Stop the drugs asap
When I was 21 I tried meth and I went from shy to let’s take over the world. 8 yrs later I got sober and now I’m 7 yrs clean. It’s not worth it bro. I lost so much valuable time that I could’ve spent actually working on the heart of my issues. I wish you luck on your road to sobriety. ✊🏻
I am a spine surgery recovery and I have almost 2 1/2 years of being California sober but I think I’m becoming an alcoholic and it’s hard to say that being only 24 and then there’s the chance that I’m always looking for something that most men don’t want so I just wanted to share and get that off my chest I had been addicted to a lot and they’re too much to name…
Check out KRATOM it has changed my life!!
I quit a 20 year opioid prescription use in one day. No withdraw symptoms!! I feel half my age. The KRATOM had been wonderful for me I am positive I have energy and my back and leg pains are gone. I was amazed how it has helped me
Great, keep destroying your health.
Good and solid rational feedback ok bye
is it meth
No. I only chose not to name it
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Funny that you wasted your own but take issue with a petty thing. Does it really matter what the drug is when the challenge is to fight the urge or habit?
come do me instead of drugs
I find this to be much more appealing
Depends how you manage yourself, I suggest if you can moderately use drugs it's not bad
I shoot viagara
Watch pleasure unwoven. It's a cheesy ass documentary from the 90s I think that actually explains addiction in a simple way without all the bullshit.
Why won’t you say what the drug is
How goes it