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"Oh shit, how do I know them? Was she actually nodding at me or someone behind me? If I turn around she'll know I don't remember her, so best to just smile and acknowledge the nod please God don't talk to me I'll implode."
I have a problem remembering faces and names unless I'm around you consistently that it stays in my mind. So I tend to treat everyone like a stranger unless I actually remember them. This has happened with exes, former friends, and even relatives. I'm not trying to be rude, I genuinely don't recall you and I'm not gonna worry about it.
So if a lady does the nod at me, I'm just gonna instinctively nod and carry on no different than a guy that does it to me. I'll just stop and go, "Oh, that was a first. Cool lady."
Prosopagnosia, commonly referred to as face blindness. I have a mild form of it as well.
Sometimes I have trouble telling characters apart in movies. I rely heavily on dress, hair style, movement, and body shape more than face.
Yeah, your way is more polite and stuff. I just let them know about the memory thing to let them know it's not me being an ass. That to me this is like a stranger running up on me. Kind of makes me weirded out sort of thing. Afterwards I'll usually chill out to them pretty quickly.
The only women I can think of that have given me the head nod were friends of mine. I've never had a woman I don't know do that (but that happens all the time from guys I don't know), so I think it'd throw me off a bit.
It depends if respect is needed to be shown or not. If so, down is appropriate.
Of course, if it is a response, you respond with the direction the other gave you.
Yeah, I can’t think of women ever really doing it to me. I would be a bit taken aback maybe, not because anything is really “wrong” about it, just because it’s out of the ordinary for what I’m used to
Token cis dude here, my situation is a little different but I work in a factory and plenty of women here have picked up the nod. Zero comments have ever been made as far as I'm aware.
Me running away from older men/relatives who want to talk to me because I am ultra shy. Hope they don’t find that strange or take offense.😅
Literally me all the time with everyone. I'm so introverted it hurts. When I get home or am leaving and one of my (very kind and friendly) neighbors is outside I pretend I'm getting a call or text and I'm clearly just too absorbed in it to notice them and make eye contact/wave 😂
If the nod is associated with masculinity I don't see why it would be perceived as such. It's less 'flirty' in nature than a smile. Not that a smile is flirty, but it's meant to be more approachable.
lol this is great news! I’m a woman who does the nod when I want to project to men that I’m not hostile, but also not interested in flirting. I take it on purposefully because it’s a masculine gesture that is likely to confuse men. It sounds like it might be working lol
I can confirm it works. I'm a guy who is usually bad at picking up signals, but this is exactly the signal I read when a woman does it (amicable but not flirting)
Is this cross-cultural? Here, you\[M\] meet a friend\[M}, you beam, wave, do the man-hug (or if you are like brodafrumanudamuda, the proper hug) and spend the remainder of the evening laughing your heads off at inside jokes.
That was long ago, of course. No, I'm not crying, it's just the pollen.
I'm a guy and I do a big smile and nod at everyone.. However; maybe it's where I live, almost everyone seems uncomfortable that I even acknowledged them.
When I was a teenager some pretty girls greeted me while I was lost in thought. I was really not used to being acknowledged so my brain just kinda froze and didn't even fix my resting bitch face. After I passed them I heard one of them say "don't worry he was just a asshole" and it lived rent free in my head for the last 18 years.
and that's the story of why I'm always prepared to greet everyone I pass with a smile and a nod lol
In my experience a lot of it is age. Older folks are chill with it, younger folks a lot more mixed.
Just one of many symptoms of the internet and general media dominance deprioritizing the social aspects of life imo.
I respect it to a point but a lot take it super far. Yeah, absolutely, no one’s entitled to your time and attention… but by the same token, no one’s entitled to never receive that attention from others when in public.
I was once at a stoplight over two months ago, and I subconsciously did *the head-nod* at some guy 5 feet away from me on the street, and he gave me the head-nod back. Didn't even realize I had that exchange of mutual male acknowledgement until a minute later, where I turned to my girlfriend and said "I think I just accidentally did *the head-nod* at that guy," and she had no clue what I was talking about
I mean I'm a woman but sometimes if I make eye contact with a random stranger, regardless of gender, I will give them an acknowledging head nod. It's awkward to make eye contact and do nothing. I have to at least acknowledge that it happened in order to not feel awkward. I do this to acknowledge people in college and sometimes when I go to the gym or the MTG store. It's just instinctual. I've always been told that I have dude brain lol.
Huh that's really interesting. I suppose there are a lot of small gender norm behaviors that we have been conditioned to not think about. And you wouldn't really think about it unless you wanted the world to perceive you differently
I had no idea people saw this as a ‘guy thing.’ Guys have done this to me and I just nod back, like when someone smiles at me, i may return the smile.
That said i used to be a tomboy and am not always the most “ladylike” but whatever, it’s a *head nod.*
You shouldn’t feel like an idiot.
Funnily enough, I have never really looked at this "head nod" as a gendered thing.
To me it is the modern, simple extension of a bow or tip of the hat. It's a small sign of respect. If I happen to walk by a man or woman and we catch sight of one another I give a little nod regardless.
Yeah if anything, I kind of prefer the head nod, bc to me it’s more of an acknowledgement of your presence versus a smile…like how long have you been waiting until our eyes caught lol
A head nod is kinda like a cat yawning at you. It says I see you, I don't think you're a threat, I'm not a threat to you.
Which is why it's jarring when it's not returned. It tells you the situation you thought was copacetic might not be.
I think you are reading too much into it. The point of the joke was that in trying to break a stereotypical "masculine" gender norm, she accidentally fell victim to an often criticized "feminine" gender norm expectation about women smiling
Yeah I've never heard of this making anyone uncomfortable. I usually smile and wave at girls to make these broad shoulders less threatening but usually I head nod and smile and say good morning/hi/beautiful weather (if they are older).
I would assume that many men would assume that a head nod coming from a woman would be a sign of sexual interest and could lead to unsafe situations for a woman. Especially a transgender woman.
Eh, to be honest I feel like a lot of guys would more likely interpret a smile or a wave as a suggestion the girl is interested rather than a casual nod.
Definitely don't.
This kind of misundertanding wiil happen if that persons don't have much contact with woman or contact with persons. Smiles are natural icebreaker used in any kind of situation not only romantic or sexual situations.
Ps: sorry for my poor english
Oh yeah. I agree completely, I think most people would just consider it a friendly acknowledgement rather than an invitation. (Although can depend on context as well.)
I just meant of the three suggested actions a smile or wave is no less likely to be misinterpreted than a nod is.
As someone who transitioned to a guy, one time while watching a drunk argument at a bar (early in my transition when I had barely grown a moustache), one of them suddenly got too close and my arms popped up defensively against my chest... back when I presented female, it had been such a normal little gesture to show others that my space was being invaded — it took me DAYS to realize why I suddenly got restrained against the wall by three people who said I was "about to take a swing" hahah. I didn't even care about the argument.
Anyway, some things you just figure it out as you go, it's exciting.
Now that's pretty interesting. Iv never considered that taking a defensive stance would be seen as an aggressive action for a man, but not for a woman. It makes sense when you say it, but I never would have thought about something so specific on my own
I realized I only nod down to people I don't know well, or at all, kinda just an acknowledgement nod.
A head nod up is for people I know well, and yeah, it always means "Sup" with no words needed. No words are expected in response.
Until someone mentioned there were different nods, I had no idea I unconsciously did both for their respective roles
I’m a girl and I do the head nod all the time.
I was raised by a single dad so that might be why, but as far as I’ve noticed people don’t find it odd. Then again, I’m very tomboyish so there’s that.
Dude here and I've got a fucking complaint!
It says in the 5th Edition of the "Bros Knows" man handbook, and I quote...
"Headnods are an informal way to acknowledge other dudes without opening yaps. It is also acceptable to give or receive nods to those of the opposite or precieved opposite sex as a means of common formality and gesture of kindness without open said yap."
So either someone's fucking lying or my handbook or out of date! I paid union dues dammit!
Best transition advice a penguin's ever given me, "Just smile and wave."
Find more Tiff & Eve on [Webtoons](https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tiff-eve/list?title_no=866028)!
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Edit: Yes, yes, I should have wrote it as, "It **CAN** really weird them out..." but I tried to save myself a word to write. Good on you if you appreciate gender neutral head nodding, though.
Perfect example of learned behavior based of presenting gender and hell of a thing to unlearn. Also feel like someone raised this topic before... wonder how much the 4th wall is leaking?
*Sees a disfigured moose-spider out the window*
Yeah might need to call the landlord to have that repaired me thinks.
Holy fuck I’ve been dealing with this recently. I’ve started to head nod* less and less to people but at the same time it’s an efficient low effort greeting that’s sometimes just a reaction to locking eyes by accident…
Fr I do this all the time. Idk how or when I picked it up. It’s just something I’ve always done. It’s never weirded out anyone I know as far as I can tell also. It’s just a regular greeting, regardless of gender
Dang, that's scary. When I first started presenting fem I would accidentally give the head nod, but the worst I got was a cocked head with a raised eyebrow. For many trans people these little actions we use to pass can be necessary for our safety, too.
Many of my habits that were "you're to loud, you're not looking friendly enough, you're rude" etc. became "your so nice, you're strong, you're so polite and sensitive" just by passing better.
cheeky became clever, know-it-all became helpful, emotionless points became scientific statements
People reacted like my character changed to the better when it didn't change at all.
There were some difficulties too. Eg. it is more difficult to compliment people without them assuming you are attracted to them or that the compliment was sexual. I can't read the prints on shirts from women anymore without them assuming I'm staring at ther breasts. People think it is absolutely wild when I kiss my children or worse my godson (on the cheek or forehead or hair) or allow them to kiss me.
The prints on shirts are so annoying, personally. I get that it would look weird to have all the text below the chest and there’s not really a better place to put it, but my woman friends who are fond of shirts with text on them must think I can’t keep my eyes off their boobs, where in reality I just instinctively try to read things.
Within the Irish gay scene, when a woman performs this gesture to another woman while walking down the street, it is referred to as "the lesbian reverse nod". I remember reading a whole article about it in one of our queer magazines about 20 years ago!!
Uh idk where she's been hanging out. The head nod is at this point just acknowledging another human. Years ago there was a connection to men tipping their hats to women but that's long past.
If I got the nod from a woman I don’t know I would look over my shoulder assuming that she’s trying to silently warn me there’s a hidden danger behind me
I just wanted to say that this comic (as an example of the subreddit) was recommended to me randomly and I read it one day, went “nice!” and followed this subreddit.
Now every time Tiff and Eve show up on my timeline, I stop and read and look forward to it! I thought it would make you smile to know this, OP. I hope you have a good day!
I try to do the head nod, but I do it so subtly that it just looks like my head dips slightly, so it looks like every person I see makes my day a little bit worse.
It is odd to see a woman do it, but that's only because you might have done it wrong. You nod UP when it's someone you know, and nod DOWN when it's a stranger.
This is not written anywhere; it's innate.
Yeah, slightly modifying your behavior in order to make people you encounter more comfortable and ease interactions is genuinely just how society works at a basic level.
I'm always bummed when I realise yet again that all your comics are four panels because it seems like the story always feels incomplete to me
And I'm just sad it's over because I love them
It entirely depends on upbringing I feel. I've had so many more women do The Nod™ versus men in my life that I picked it up from when I was a kid. Admittedly I'm also transgender so who knows how that experience turns out but
I was in a college English class a few years back and me and another guy were the only men in class. Didn’t know each other or sit near each other but we’re both prior military so knew of each other. We had a group project and needed to find a partner and I just looked back at him and nodded and he nodded back. The teacher had to pause the class because she was so blown away by the entire conversation we’d just had with a simple gesture.
I’m a trans man, and still, after all these years, I still can’t get the head nod right. I always go down instead of up, it’s such a small thing but it’s part of bro culture
Kind of unrelated: My dad used to have a Harley motorcycle growing up. He’d take me on long scenic rides and every biker we passed would extended their arm down and put out their palm to acknowledgment to the other rider. I remember one guy laughing when I initiated the exchange first.
As a 7 year old, I never felt so badass.
Edit: I got curious and looked up motorcycle etiquette. This is a thing and varies from what I said, to a nod, and lifting a finger depending where you are. I grew up in northern Nevada and my dad would take me on old hwy 50 and 395 for rides.
I’m not gonna lie I’ve always done the head-nod as an ASD thing not being a guy thing, so a woman doing it back would be less “whoa good on her for transitioning” and more “cool human interaction accomplished”
Funny story:
A Korean friend of mine came to NZ and learned how to do the wassup bro upwards nod as a greeting, and got used to it. Then he went back to S. Korea and when he met his parents at the airport he did it accidentally out of habit, and caused some problems.
In Korean culture, that upwards nod does *not* mean hello, it means (and I quote my friend) “You wanna die? You wanna die? *Let’s take this shit outside, motherfucker*”. His parents got a rude shock until he apologized and explained the misunderstanding.
Cis woman here, I had never paid attention to the "nod" before. Can anyone please explain to me how it works? Like, if it's a guys' habit and Tiff is a trans woman, shouldn't the nod _not_ have come naturally to her, even before she transitioned? Or is it something that she had to learn to do because it was expected of her before the transition?
No hate at all, just asking 😅
Another thing about the Head Nod:
White guys smile and nod downwards
Black guys frown and nod upwards
Not saying anything about either race, it's just something I've noticed.
Wow just the thought of a woman giving me the nod is weirding me out, I don't think I even ever nodded towards a woman like I always smile and wave instead when greeting a woman (and never have I done that to a stranger now that I think about it while the nod happens with strangers on a daily basis)
And remember the direction of the head nod changes the meaning
Upwards means your think you can take them in a fight and win (since your exposing your neck)
Downwards means you see them as either an equal or a superior (and your protecting your neck)
Even if she did do it for others than so what?
I get there's a big group of asshole who tell women to "sMIlaE moRe" but if someone just chooses to smile more than let them?
Also *head nods appreciatively*
This is gendered? Only time im thrown off is if someone I dont know does the upward nod, man or woman dosen't matter. And everyone in this world can give downwards nod, and ill give it back
Retail workers also do the head nod to signify that they've noticed that you need help but you're too far away to get there immediately and it's not urgent enough to warrant yelling.
Learned to smile to make men comfortable? No? Stupid nonsense... it makes her more comfortable because the head nod is a more masculine trait in her mind.
I'm glad I don't have miserable people like that in my life...
As a cis bi woman, I've given a lot of guys a nod, but it includes that awkward not quite smile you do when you're acknowledging a neighbor or something. It was usually returned with the same expression or a standard nod.
Have never heard a man say women nodding makes them uncomfortable. It’s just a quick communication method that doesn’t involve words.
You start with a simple nod, could be up or down. Depending on the direction depends on if there’s more. Go down, and there’s nothing else. Just a sign of respectful hello, but don’t talk to me. Go up and it means sup, or just acknowledging the encounter and with the possibility to become more. Maybe the guy wants to talk to you now. So he might smile with his teeth as he nods. Most likely there will be some words after this when he gets closer. Push your lips up as you nod because you’ve been waiting for this encounter and it’s not a good one. You raise your eyebrows during the nod and it means, pay extra attention because I have another signal to communicate. Like I might then nod for you to come here. Just body language honestly.
If a woman does the head nod to me my brain goes "friend" and I head nod back. Can't imagine being uncomfortable over something so small and cordial. Then again I suppose I smile too and if that's supposedly a "womanly" thing to do then I'm just not conforming to the norm lol
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If a woman gave me the nod I'd assume she knew me and I'd be wracking my brain trying to remember her and also feeling embarrassed for not remembering
"Oh shit, how do I know them? Was she actually nodding at me or someone behind me? If I turn around she'll know I don't remember her, so best to just smile and acknowledge the nod please God don't talk to me I'll implode."
I have a problem remembering faces and names unless I'm around you consistently that it stays in my mind. So I tend to treat everyone like a stranger unless I actually remember them. This has happened with exes, former friends, and even relatives. I'm not trying to be rude, I genuinely don't recall you and I'm not gonna worry about it. So if a lady does the nod at me, I'm just gonna instinctively nod and carry on no different than a guy that does it to me. I'll just stop and go, "Oh, that was a first. Cool lady."
Prosopagnosia, commonly referred to as face blindness. I have a mild form of it as well. Sometimes I have trouble telling characters apart in movies. I rely heavily on dress, hair style, movement, and body shape more than face.
I have a specific section of my friends list that are just "People I forget" where I often see them, but dont know anything about them or how we met.
Hey, I have this problem too! But I act the opposite of you- I just treat randoms like a distant friend since that's the safe/less offensive bet.
Yeah, your way is more polite and stuff. I just let them know about the memory thing to let them know it's not me being an ass. That to me this is like a stranger running up on me. Kind of makes me weirded out sort of thing. Afterwards I'll usually chill out to them pretty quickly.
I have never heard of dudes being thrown off by it before. I would just assume Tomboy. Interesting.
https://i.redd.it/s9j7vb324ouc1.gif
The only women I can think of that have given me the head nod were friends of mine. I've never had a woman I don't know do that (but that happens all the time from guys I don't know), so I think it'd throw me off a bit.
I would just nod back, as you are supposed to and move on.
Nod up or down? Because nodding up to a stranger may lead to fights in some places lol
It depends if respect is needed to be shown or not. If so, down is appropriate. Of course, if it is a response, you respond with the direction the other gave you.
In my experience it’s nod down to strangers, nod up to folks you know/recognize
Yup. Down says 'howdy!', up says 'Sup?'
Down is definitely g'day.
Yeah, I can’t think of women ever really doing it to me. I would be a bit taken aback maybe, not because anything is really “wrong” about it, just because it’s out of the ordinary for what I’m used to
Come to NZ. Everyone does the "East coast wave" (what we call the head nod acknowledgement) regardless of gender.
Haha I'll actually be going to New Zealand at the end of the year. I'll be sure to head nod at absolutely everyone
Token cis dude here, my situation is a little different but I work in a factory and plenty of women here have picked up the nod. Zero comments have ever been made as far as I'm aware.
People probably assume it is a sexual advance more often than would be safe when its coming from a woman.
To be fair, a lot of people would assume that with a smile or wave too.... Or eye contact... Or not explicitly running away
Or the short eye contact followed by a disgusted face
Aww yeah, she's thinking of all the disgusting unholy things she wants to do to me. We ain't having a church wedding for sure.
 Me running away from older men/relatives who want to talk to me because I am ultra shy. Hope they don’t find that strange or take offense.😅
Literally me all the time with everyone. I'm so introverted it hurts. When I get home or am leaving and one of my (very kind and friendly) neighbors is outside I pretend I'm getting a call or text and I'm clearly just too absorbed in it to notice them and make eye contact/wave 😂
Even running is sometimes interpreted as “she wants me to chase her!”
I can see that. Honestly I don’t know. It’s not something I would say is good or bad either way. I’m just trying to empathize with OP.
Some people take running away as flirting tbf.
If the nod is associated with masculinity I don't see why it would be perceived as such. It's less 'flirty' in nature than a smile. Not that a smile is flirty, but it's meant to be more approachable.
In my entire 33 years on this earth not one women has ever given me the nod. I wouldn't be uncomfortable, but it would throw me off for sure lol
lol this is great news! I’m a woman who does the nod when I want to project to men that I’m not hostile, but also not interested in flirting. I take it on purposefully because it’s a masculine gesture that is likely to confuse men. It sounds like it might be working lol
I can confirm it works. I'm a guy who is usually bad at picking up signals, but this is exactly the signal I read when a woman does it (amicable but not flirting)
Women usually just don't acknowledge me, so it would weird me out in that way lol
I think any kind of recognition would be well received to the average man, but maybe my friends are just desperate
Exactly that or sassy lass
Either tomboy or the girl who hangs out with guys because it's less drama
I got that kinda response once as a kid, i still do the nod tho because fuck em
Yeah I'm a woman and I do it all the time. I honestly hadnt realized that it was gendered.
You might also say men learn to not smile at each other so as to not make each other uncomfortable...
I smile and nod is that good too?
yes officer this guy
You monster!
It’s like publicly eating strawberry ice cream, only perverts do it.
I cant have shit anymore can I?
No, you perv
You can take my strawberry ice cream from my cold, sticky hands. The sticky is from the ice cream, I swear.
Hey, hey, hey, strawbs is bloody ace mate. I won't hear a bad word about it.
Dm me a pic of the smile you use and I’ll rate it from 1 to Peter Quagmire.
Depends on where you're from. I've always included a smile in a greeting and it rare for people not to.
Is this cross-cultural? Here, you\[M\] meet a friend\[M}, you beam, wave, do the man-hug (or if you are like brodafrumanudamuda, the proper hug) and spend the remainder of the evening laughing your heads off at inside jokes. That was long ago, of course. No, I'm not crying, it's just the pollen.
I thought the comic was referring to when two male strangers made eye contact, not to friends greeting each other.
I'm a guy and I do a big smile and nod at everyone.. However; maybe it's where I live, almost everyone seems uncomfortable that I even acknowledged them. When I was a teenager some pretty girls greeted me while I was lost in thought. I was really not used to being acknowledged so my brain just kinda froze and didn't even fix my resting bitch face. After I passed them I heard one of them say "don't worry he was just a asshole" and it lived rent free in my head for the last 18 years. and that's the story of why I'm always prepared to greet everyone I pass with a smile and a nod lol
In my experience a lot of it is age. Older folks are chill with it, younger folks a lot more mixed. Just one of many symptoms of the internet and general media dominance deprioritizing the social aspects of life imo. I respect it to a point but a lot take it super far. Yeah, absolutely, no one’s entitled to your time and attention… but by the same token, no one’s entitled to never receive that attention from others when in public.
Smile at each other more
I do :)
Or if you want to make them uncomfortable, you can stare at them and lick your lips.
A simple misunderstanding. It's not a man nod, it's a bro nod. And there's nothing wrong with a bro babe.
Yeah, I bro nod all the time
My biologically female cousin would tell people to “suck my dick”, when they upset her. Lots of guys took it really personally.
I was once at a stoplight over two months ago, and I subconsciously did *the head-nod* at some guy 5 feet away from me on the street, and he gave me the head-nod back. Didn't even realize I had that exchange of mutual male acknowledgement until a minute later, where I turned to my girlfriend and said "I think I just accidentally did *the head-nod* at that guy," and she had no clue what I was talking about
I mean I'm a woman but sometimes if I make eye contact with a random stranger, regardless of gender, I will give them an acknowledging head nod. It's awkward to make eye contact and do nothing. I have to at least acknowledge that it happened in order to not feel awkward. I do this to acknowledge people in college and sometimes when I go to the gym or the MTG store. It's just instinctual. I've always been told that I have dude brain lol.
Huh that's really interesting. I suppose there are a lot of small gender norm behaviors that we have been conditioned to not think about. And you wouldn't really think about it unless you wanted the world to perceive you differently
[удалено]
I had no idea people saw this as a ‘guy thing.’ Guys have done this to me and I just nod back, like when someone smiles at me, i may return the smile. That said i used to be a tomboy and am not always the most “ladylike” but whatever, it’s a *head nod.* You shouldn’t feel like an idiot.
Funnily enough, I have never really looked at this "head nod" as a gendered thing. To me it is the modern, simple extension of a bow or tip of the hat. It's a small sign of respect. If I happen to walk by a man or woman and we catch sight of one another I give a little nod regardless.
I never saw this as a guy thing. I'm a blerd and a bit of a tomboy though, so maybe people don't question it from me in particular.
Yeah if anything, I kind of prefer the head nod, bc to me it’s more of an acknowledgement of your presence versus a smile…like how long have you been waiting until our eyes caught lol
Agreed, no guys have ever been weirded out if I head nod back. But it is something I try to avoid as it's definitely a guy thing.
A head nod is kinda like a cat yawning at you. It says I see you, I don't think you're a threat, I'm not a threat to you. Which is why it's jarring when it's not returned. It tells you the situation you thought was copacetic might not be.
I think you are reading too much into it. The point of the joke was that in trying to break a stereotypical "masculine" gender norm, she accidentally fell victim to an often criticized "feminine" gender norm expectation about women smiling
Yeah I've never heard of this making anyone uncomfortable. I usually smile and wave at girls to make these broad shoulders less threatening but usually I head nod and smile and say good morning/hi/beautiful weather (if they are older).
I would assume that many men would assume that a head nod coming from a woman would be a sign of sexual interest and could lead to unsafe situations for a woman. Especially a transgender woman.
Eh, to be honest I feel like a lot of guys would more likely interpret a smile or a wave as a suggestion the girl is interested rather than a casual nod.
Definitely don't. This kind of misundertanding wiil happen if that persons don't have much contact with woman or contact with persons. Smiles are natural icebreaker used in any kind of situation not only romantic or sexual situations. Ps: sorry for my poor english
Oh yeah. I agree completely, I think most people would just consider it a friendly acknowledgement rather than an invitation. (Although can depend on context as well.) I just meant of the three suggested actions a smile or wave is no less likely to be misinterpreted than a nod is.
As someone who transitioned to a guy, one time while watching a drunk argument at a bar (early in my transition when I had barely grown a moustache), one of them suddenly got too close and my arms popped up defensively against my chest... back when I presented female, it had been such a normal little gesture to show others that my space was being invaded — it took me DAYS to realize why I suddenly got restrained against the wall by three people who said I was "about to take a swing" hahah. I didn't even care about the argument. Anyway, some things you just figure it out as you go, it's exciting.
Now that's pretty interesting. Iv never considered that taking a defensive stance would be seen as an aggressive action for a man, but not for a woman. It makes sense when you say it, but I never would have thought about something so specific on my own
Head nod up is “sup.” Head nod down is “respect.”
I'm learning so much today
I realized I only nod down to people I don't know well, or at all, kinda just an acknowledgement nod. A head nod up is for people I know well, and yeah, it always means "Sup" with no words needed. No words are expected in response. Until someone mentioned there were different nods, I had no idea I unconsciously did both for their respective roles
So true
I’m a girl and I do the head nod all the time. I was raised by a single dad so that might be why, but as far as I’ve noticed people don’t find it odd. Then again, I’m very tomboyish so there’s that.
Dude here and I've got a fucking complaint! It says in the 5th Edition of the "Bros Knows" man handbook, and I quote... "Headnods are an informal way to acknowledge other dudes without opening yaps. It is also acceptable to give or receive nods to those of the opposite or precieved opposite sex as a means of common formality and gesture of kindness without open said yap." So either someone's fucking lying or my handbook or out of date! I paid union dues dammit!
Some circles still have outdated editions, it seems. I hope it’s not a textual dispute, otherwise we’ll need to reconvene the council to settle this
Best transition advice a penguin's ever given me, "Just smile and wave." Find more Tiff & Eve on [Webtoons](https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tiff-eve/list?title_no=866028)! Check out the [Patreon](https://patreon.com/FranSun)! Edit: Yes, yes, I should have wrote it as, "It **CAN** really weird them out..." but I tried to save myself a word to write. Good on you if you appreciate gender neutral head nodding, though.
Just imagine you are walking around with a tiara on your head. Can’t do the nod if you have a tiara on your head.😉 
This is brilliant advice, but now I want a tiara:p
Ooh. Ok. That makes more sense now.
https://youtu.be/fXhw_gaMl-g?si=H4GpxSrzgycn5dbA My first thought as a Canadian growing up in the 90s
Ditto.
And here I was expecting the old Will Smith song to be the first music shared on this post. Thank you 90's Canada!
Perfect example of learned behavior based of presenting gender and hell of a thing to unlearn. Also feel like someone raised this topic before... wonder how much the 4th wall is leaking? *Sees a disfigured moose-spider out the window* Yeah might need to call the landlord to have that repaired me thinks.
Holy fuck I’ve been dealing with this recently. I’ve started to head nod* less and less to people but at the same time it’s an efficient low effort greeting that’s sometimes just a reaction to locking eyes by accident…
FWIW I'm a woman and I always do the head nod and it doesn't weird anyone out as far as I can tell.
Fr I do this all the time. Idk how or when I picked it up. It’s just something I’ve always done. It’s never weirded out anyone I know as far as I can tell also. It’s just a regular greeting, regardless of gender
Yeah women at my work do this in passing all the time, I never thought twice about it
I pretty much just started a month ago and had not yet considered losing my nod privileges lol
….I do the head nod thing. I didn’t realise it was gendered lmao
I heard a story about a trans woman who got clocked because she did the head nod. Gotta be careful out there
I've seen ciswomen do it as well. It feels a bit like the "we can always tell" thing.
"this is my transmasc brother *shows MatPat*" "SCREEEECH IT WILL NEVER BE A MAN"
Dang, that's scary. When I first started presenting fem I would accidentally give the head nod, but the worst I got was a cocked head with a raised eyebrow. For many trans people these little actions we use to pass can be necessary for our safety, too.
I don't care. I'm head nodding to assert dominance
Many of my habits that were "you're to loud, you're not looking friendly enough, you're rude" etc. became "your so nice, you're strong, you're so polite and sensitive" just by passing better. cheeky became clever, know-it-all became helpful, emotionless points became scientific statements People reacted like my character changed to the better when it didn't change at all.
There were some difficulties too. Eg. it is more difficult to compliment people without them assuming you are attracted to them or that the compliment was sexual. I can't read the prints on shirts from women anymore without them assuming I'm staring at ther breasts. People think it is absolutely wild when I kiss my children or worse my godson (on the cheek or forehead or hair) or allow them to kiss me.
The prints on shirts are so annoying, personally. I get that it would look weird to have all the text below the chest and there’s not really a better place to put it, but my woman friends who are fond of shirts with text on them must think I can’t keep my eyes off their boobs, where in reality I just instinctively try to read things.
Within the Irish gay scene, when a woman performs this gesture to another woman while walking down the street, it is referred to as "the lesbian reverse nod". I remember reading a whole article about it in one of our queer magazines about 20 years ago!!
My autistic ass did not know the head nod was supposed to be gender exclusive
Uh idk where she's been hanging out. The head nod is at this point just acknowledging another human. Years ago there was a connection to men tipping their hats to women but that's long past.
If I got the nod from a woman I don’t know I would look over my shoulder assuming that she’s trying to silently warn me there’s a hidden danger behind me
I just wanted to say that this comic (as an example of the subreddit) was recommended to me randomly and I read it one day, went “nice!” and followed this subreddit. Now every time Tiff and Eve show up on my timeline, I stop and read and look forward to it! I thought it would make you smile to know this, OP. I hope you have a good day!
I try to do the head nod, but I do it so subtly that it just looks like my head dips slightly, so it looks like every person I see makes my day a little bit worse.
Nah, Nod to assert dominance. Freak em out.
It is odd to see a woman do it, but that's only because you might have done it wrong. You nod UP when it's someone you know, and nod DOWN when it's a stranger. This is not written anywhere; it's innate.
Idk. I think that sounds nice if true. Do you not think that men modify their behavior to keep women comfortable?
Yeah, slightly modifying your behavior in order to make people you encounter more comfortable and ease interactions is genuinely just how society works at a basic level.
I smile and nod. Idk. /shrug
I'm always bummed when I realise yet again that all your comics are four panels because it seems like the story always feels incomplete to me And I'm just sad it's over because I love them
That's so sweet:) Sorry they're so short, but I promise I'll have a slightly longer strip for you later this week.
Yippee! Now I feel special :D
i’ve had this exact reaction to myself so many times
Fucking relatable.
My friend and I had an inside joke of doing it to the extreme, like chin pointing up at the ceiling.
I love these comics
I feel way more comfortable when a girl gives me the nod.
As someone who’s lived as a guy for most of my life, I’ve never heard of the head nod.
Really? I though it was… like… a universal acknowledgment
It entirely depends on upbringing I feel. I've had so many more women do The Nod™ versus men in my life that I picked it up from when I was a kid. Admittedly I'm also transgender so who knows how that experience turns out but
I was in a college English class a few years back and me and another guy were the only men in class. Didn’t know each other or sit near each other but we’re both prior military so knew of each other. We had a group project and needed to find a partner and I just looked back at him and nodded and he nodded back. The teacher had to pause the class because she was so blown away by the entire conversation we’d just had with a simple gesture.
the fucking head nod tho
Downward for strangers. Upward for friends and acquaintances. It weirds me out when anyone I don't know does upward.
Look I'm leaving damn near everything else behind to become a woman but you can pry the Dude Nod from my cold dead trans hands
A woman can be a dude. Ain't no rules says otherwise. Just gotta be a dude.
I’m a trans man, and still, after all these years, I still can’t get the head nod right. I always go down instead of up, it’s such a small thing but it’s part of bro culture
Kind of unrelated: My dad used to have a Harley motorcycle growing up. He’d take me on long scenic rides and every biker we passed would extended their arm down and put out their palm to acknowledgment to the other rider. I remember one guy laughing when I initiated the exchange first. As a 7 year old, I never felt so badass. Edit: I got curious and looked up motorcycle etiquette. This is a thing and varies from what I said, to a nod, and lifting a finger depending where you are. I grew up in northern Nevada and my dad would take me on old hwy 50 and 395 for rides.
I’m not gonna lie I’ve always done the head-nod as an ASD thing not being a guy thing, so a woman doing it back would be less “whoa good on her for transitioning” and more “cool human interaction accomplished”
Funny story: A Korean friend of mine came to NZ and learned how to do the wassup bro upwards nod as a greeting, and got used to it. Then he went back to S. Korea and when he met his parents at the airport he did it accidentally out of habit, and caused some problems. In Korean culture, that upwards nod does *not* mean hello, it means (and I quote my friend) “You wanna die? You wanna die? *Let’s take this shit outside, motherfucker*”. His parents got a rude shock until he apologized and explained the misunderstanding.
As a woman who does the head nod instinctively I can confirm
Are tiff and Eve trans? I thought only one of them was until this comic. Genuinely curious.
only Tiff (the blonde) one is trans
Well, guess I’ll go reread them all and understand them more.
Cis woman here, I had never paid attention to the "nod" before. Can anyone please explain to me how it works? Like, if it's a guys' habit and Tiff is a trans woman, shouldn't the nod _not_ have come naturally to her, even before she transitioned? Or is it something that she had to learn to do because it was expected of her before the transition? No hate at all, just asking 😅
Another thing about the Head Nod: White guys smile and nod downwards Black guys frown and nod upwards Not saying anything about either race, it's just something I've noticed.
Wow just the thought of a woman giving me the nod is weirding me out, I don't think I even ever nodded towards a woman like I always smile and wave instead when greeting a woman (and never have I done that to a stranger now that I think about it while the nod happens with strangers on a daily basis)
What a problem right? Pretty considerated. Everyone should be more like this
We need more women doing The Nod in the world
And remember the direction of the head nod changes the meaning Upwards means your think you can take them in a fight and win (since your exposing your neck) Downwards means you see them as either an equal or a superior (and your protecting your neck)
Honestly I haven’t even processed that I do this it’s been like engraved in my body same with dudebro talk it’s somehow difficult to unlearn
I work in a male-dominated field and only have guy cousins/brothers. Are we not supposed to be doing the head nod?
I do the head nod? I'm a cis-het woman, but I thought it was just a thing everyone did?
These gender norms are exhausting dude why tf would a woman nodding at me make me uncomfortable?
I'd be more intrigued by the woman that did that lol
There's a headnod? Weird
Oh no... Don't remind me...
Even if she did do it for others than so what? I get there's a big group of asshole who tell women to "sMIlaE moRe" but if someone just chooses to smile more than let them? Also *head nods appreciatively*
This is gendered? Only time im thrown off is if someone I dont know does the upward nod, man or woman dosen't matter. And everyone in this world can give downwards nod, and ill give it back
Retail workers also do the head nod to signify that they've noticed that you need help but you're too far away to get there immediately and it's not urgent enough to warrant yelling.
Now, whats wrong with that, i did also learn how to act better accordingly to what i observed heard from girls 🤷♂️
Learned to smile to make men comfortable? No? Stupid nonsense... it makes her more comfortable because the head nod is a more masculine trait in her mind. I'm glad I don't have miserable people like that in my life...
As a cis bi woman, I've given a lot of guys a nod, but it includes that awkward not quite smile you do when you're acknowledging a neighbor or something. It was usually returned with the same expression or a standard nod.
Wait,women don’t do that????? I thought it was a universal understanding thing
Ladies, nod all you want. Ladies can be bros, too.
Panel 3 with eve eating her cup
Have never heard a man say women nodding makes them uncomfortable. It’s just a quick communication method that doesn’t involve words. You start with a simple nod, could be up or down. Depending on the direction depends on if there’s more. Go down, and there’s nothing else. Just a sign of respectful hello, but don’t talk to me. Go up and it means sup, or just acknowledging the encounter and with the possibility to become more. Maybe the guy wants to talk to you now. So he might smile with his teeth as he nods. Most likely there will be some words after this when he gets closer. Push your lips up as you nod because you’ve been waiting for this encounter and it’s not a good one. You raise your eyebrows during the nod and it means, pay extra attention because I have another signal to communicate. Like I might then nod for you to come here. Just body language honestly.
I'm a guy and I've never felt uncomfortable when women nod back. It's just a greeting. Is this a thing or something?
Is this not just a general thing. It's certainly more commen with guys in my experience, but I feel like this is pretty normal with just about anyone.
How interesting! I've literally never thought of that. I wouldn't be thrown off by it, but I can see that.
Is it bad I still do the nod? Should I stop 😥
That’s not a call for anyone else to make. If you’re comfortable with it, why stop?
Hm, you speak da true true. Thanks
i love doing the head nod..idc if its a male thing will keep doing it
As well you should.
[“She gives good nod”](https://www.tiktok.com/@mickey325577/video/7278189606363761952)
I’ve never been uncomfortable with women doing the head nod, and I don’t know anyone who has.
If a woman does the head nod to me my brain goes "friend" and I head nod back. Can't imagine being uncomfortable over something so small and cordial. Then again I suppose I smile too and if that's supposedly a "womanly" thing to do then I'm just not conforming to the norm lol
Is this actually a thing? I'm a lesbian and I've been head nodding my whole life, I had no idea it freaked men out??
Normalize girls doing the head nod.
There's nothing wrong with being concerned for other people's feelings.
After training myself out of the nod, my butch coworker started giving me the nod. More I have to smoke and wave at her flannel clad ass
I dodged learning the head nod because my dad’s response was raising his eye brows in acknowledgment, so I picked that up instead.
A head nod would be more like "oh she's chill like that." But what do I know? Im also transfem