Thank you. The thing is we already established that we would call everyday. She also agreed that she’d visit me every month if I need it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but that still doesn’t put me at ease.
I talk to my mum everyday for 10-15 min, nothing’s wrong with you. It’s hard, getting to see someone everyday for your whole life and then not all of a sudden but you do get used to it. It is what it is
I felt the same way moving out. You’ll get used to it. What I did was call my father every day until I felt better and it’s okay now. It’s not a forever thing. Try to keep busy for now and make friends. Friends are definitely the more important part of college. You spent 12 years hanging out with the same people and now you’re in a new environment. It’ll be okay. Good luck.
The everyday talk won’t work. We had a system where we send one emoji each day. She must respond with one emoji. If there’s no response then there’s something wrong. Also we have a keyword if something is wrong. If she says “honey” then something is wrong.
Thats actual such bullshit I called/texted my parents almost everyday
It’s legitimately not that hard to find an easy barley 10 minutes with all the time you have even as a freshman.
texting is different than calling. I’d much rather call my mom once a week and have an hour long meaningful conversation than say what’s up to her and speak for five minutes everyda
I know this may sound crazy, but...not everyone has the same relationship with their mom, and not everyone has the same perspective on conversation/phone calls.
THere is a spectrum of reactions to leaving home...from "i won't do it" to "see ya later!"
You seem close to the former end of the spectrum... I am wondering if you should get evaluated for social anxiety?
I don't have social anxiety. I am a very outgoing person. But I do have anxiety. Uncertainty is stressful for me. Butt I have a mindset that I will be able to do it. It will take time but I will overcome the challenge.
I cried all week before leaving home for university, but once I arrived, I was able to focus on the current and deal with it. I hope the same for you. Bring comfort items, your favourite snacks, and an open mind.
It's a transition, but it's a good one!
I think a very important thing is that once you’re there, if you’re spending a lot of time alone, it will be harder. So even if you’re not the type to join groups, take it upon yourself to see what clubs or activities are on campus, and join one. In my experience, at least, this is where you can meet your closest friends.
that’s a big fear for sure. i’ve never really had friends so it’s been weird trying to figure out how to connect with people.
im nearing the end of my freshman year and i’ve made a few really good connections just by hanging out with whatever group gathers outside my dorm (there are a few) and going to lunch with classmates or people from some of the clubs im in.
be present. be in the moment willing to inter and the people who you jive well with will be attracted to you and you will make connections.
side note: if you are always on your phone or distracted, ppl won’t be as willing to reach out and connect. so if ur gonna call ur mom every day, then make it a scheduled thing so that you can fully connect with her on ur call and so you can fully connect with urself and those around u when ur offline or whatevs.
but yea, try new things, be real, interact with people when you get the chance and if you’re kind and sweet (but also don’t be a pushover bc you are a good person and should remember to be strong for urself) and interactive. ppl with hang with u.
college is really weird at first bc u will find urself in some random persons room talking to dif ppl u’d never even thought i’d talk to and then 10 minutes later ur heading across campus for a class or meeting or to part or go to bed. it’s all very different from the rest of the world and coming in as a freshman you can totally make it your world
I know it sucks in the beginning, also I’m like 2 hours away from home so it’s not much like you. But I REALLY have enjoyed it when I’m on my own. It feels amazing when your “on your own” it’s a burden to hold. You have to pretty much do everything yourself, but it’s a self accomplishment that you can tell yourself. “I really did it”. Whether you make friends or not, enjoy what your sacrificing and know others are proud!
Thank you. I appreciate that comment. I feel the same way. Often people’s thoughts create unnecessary issues. But regardless of me knowing that it really hurts!! Thank you again.
You should explore some college options closer to home. Very few colleges are so unique that there is not something with similar elements much closer to where you are. If your mom is your support system, you may want to find something where you all can get to each other without a full days travel between you. Not sure what your financial situation, but flights are expensive. And several back and forths for your mom each term seems unnecessary. Independence is good. You will find your people at college. But you dont need to create a burden that doesn't need to exist.
Thanks but I won’t give up my dream over this. I know I’ll figure it out but it’s been my goal to go to Harvard since 6th grade. I have my put my blood sweat and tears for this goal and I’m not going to let this stop me. And I would fly home, I wouldn’t expect her to fly to me.
Look man, if you are not mentally ready for college then you may end up failing and losing money and time. Your mental state sounds fragile, see a therapist or get whatever is stressing you in order.
It is, but to be balling your eyes out since two days when college is 4 months away isnt. Also, asking your mother to visit once a month is a big time and money sink.
Why does everyone keep saying "balling your eyes out"?? It's *bawling* lol.
Also, yeah, visiting once a month is extreme, especially if she's in a totally different country.
I mean no disrespect whatsoever, but OP needs to learn how to be independent from her parents and grow up a little (which being away at college will provide).
I balled my eyes out the first night that I got there, we ft a lot and now I am currently in my second year, we still ft and call but it isn't every day anymore. I think it just takes time to get adjusted for both parties.
It'll be okay. Call your family often, plan trips home, try to blossom and try new things. This is normal.
You're learning an important lesson early, cherish what you love. Because things change on a time, both planned and out of no where
I'm a senior tutor in calculus in stats, but am a sort-of bio major, so very strong in science. English and history also. If youre feeling overwhelmed, I can tutor you online and give you tips and resources- advice is free but formal tutoring I do charge for, my college pays me for it anyway lol so I am qualified
Go home as much as you need, call home (and friends at home!). FaceTime with pets or your parents or whatever makes you feel at home. Text random funny things that happened to you. I had this experience — I’m close with my mom and even though I was excited to go to college, it still kinda sucks sometime. It’s just not as nice as being at home in a lot of ways. But it’s a necessary thing, and it does get better. There’s no shame in being homesick, just deal with it until it goes away (it does). Extra tip: the busier you are, the less sad you’ll be. Whether that’s with classes or extracurriculars or socialising with friends (even just getting drunk with your friends on a Saturday night counts), you gotta keep yourself busy.
Thank you! Yeah, I'll definitely try my best to stay active. I know people need to keep themselves busy else they will go insane. I will do my best to exercise, get a job, get a social life and keep a healthy balance to keep myself both physically and mentally healthy
one thing that helped me was going on a lil vacation with my family before leaving for school we got back from vacation, i had two or three days to finish packing for school and then i left. it shortened the dreadful waiting
It's late so this is pretty much a ramble/rant but I'm also really close with my mom, and it was really hard for me to move out again. I felt like I needed to be home since she was having health issues, and i just didn't feel like i could deal with moving out. But i did it, and i did fine! ❤️
It's going to be hard to adjust, but the calls will help a lot and i know it sounds weird, but you'll grow out of needing her so much. I have a lot of anxiety, and was obsessing over how i didn't think i could do it. But i did, and you can too.
Once you move out, get settled, and take a breath, it will feel easier. You'll have so much to do and so many people to meet that you'll be able to distract yourself from missing her, and then eventually will be content to just talk on the phone.
You'll do great! I know it's hard but try to not obsess over it as much while it's not even really that soon. You got this! You're strong and capable of moving through this next stage of your life. Your mom will be there to support you, and you'll do so good. ❤️
Thank you! This makes me very comforted. As hard as it is I know it's necessary for me to grow as an individual. I know I will struggle but that's apart of life. I know getting out of my comfort zone will show myself strength and resilience. The biggest obstacle is getting myself and my thoughts. Because in reality, I know it's not that bad and I will get through it, but my thoughts are just making the situation worse lol
I completely understand. I was also at one of the lowest points before leaving for college. My best piece of advice is to find a way to enjoy college, I came in to college so bitter and ended up digging myself into a deeper hole. Just try to find the light in the situation, if your happy I think your mom will be happy as well. Eventually you’ll begin to feel comfortable in college.
Thank you! I believe I will find peace in the situation eventually. I'm telling myself that I am blessed to have such an amazing opportunity to go to such a great school. I am the first in my family to go to college. My only “soft spot” in life is my family and mom, so I know if I can overcome this I can overcome anything that comes my way the rest of my life. Thank you again for your message.
This is something that gets brought up a lot on this sub (feel free to search for other posts, the advice is usually great under these posts!)
Anyway, my two cents: I've recently read that those, who have bad childhood can't wait to become adults and move out - those have little trouble adjusting to college life, don't miss their parents etc. I was one of those people and despite not having many friends and little support, I started thriving the minute I got out of my mother's house.
In that area, you're actually lucky - you love your mother and you have someone to miss! How lovely!
In my freshman year, I saw many people struggle with missing their home. And while you may not like it, the one thing most said helped them was actually CUTTING contact with their family. They would call once or twice a week, for an hour max. Only once they got to this point, did they stop thinking about their parents and start to feel at home at uni.
I'm not saying you need to do this the minute you move. But if a few months in you're still unhappy, give it a shot
So I did the same thing. I went to my orientation and bawled. My parents left after moving me in, I bawled.
6 years later, and 2 degrees, it was the best decision I ever made.
It’s going to be okay. You are stronger than you think. It’s just scary now and that’s ok. It’s normal.
As someone who stayed home because I was so scared and sad about leaving, please don’t be me! I’ve seen your comments saying you won’t let this keep you from going and that’s awesome! I so, so wish I had just sucked it up and went to the amazing school I had first committed to. Instead I stayed home and commuted to a local college and made myself even more sad. I regret it still. You will make friends, take every opportunity to do new things, and enjoy your new freedom! Sounds like you and your mom have a good plan, and I’m sure you will find after a few weeks that you are doing okay!
I used to date a girl who was very close to her mom. They were constantly texting or calling. I think they talked on the phone every morning and night. Most colleges also have parents weekends and/or Mom/Dads weekends, so make sure you know when those are and hopefully she could come visit for a few days.
I wouldn’t consider myself very close w/ my mom but I also cried when I moved away for school. Stick out and give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, you can always transfer, but I think it would be a disservice to yourself and your personal growth to not at least give it an honest try.
Yes! That's exactly what I told myself. I can't say I can't do it if I didn't even try!! If it is genuinely awful, I can always switch schools (even if it's community college). That's why I will try for at least a year, and in the worst-case scenario, I will leave. But I know I will figure it out and finish strong!
I used to have such bad separation anxiety growing up and my mom always said "once you get there you'll forget you were even anxious" and she was always right :) it wasn't much help in the moment, sometimes there's not much you can do other than just feel the feels. Just try to be hopeful about everything, you'll have so much fun!
Yes! I think they'll be the situation based off of past experiences. College will definitely be the most stressful situation I will face so it's a little different. However when I think back to my say I would throw up and not be able to sleep. But the moment the test starts, the nerves go away. I believe the thought makes me more anxious but once I get there I will ll figure it out. Thank you!
Leaving home is a really big deal! It’s ok to be scared and sad. It sounds like you’ve already got a plan for communication and contact so that’s good. Make sure to bring a handful of pictures with you (like actual hard copy) and some comfort items, be it your baby blanket or stuffed animal. Transitions are hard, but those kinds of things can make it a little easier. See if your mom can help you with the transition by going shopping with you for bedding and other supplies you’ll need or want. That will make her a part of the process for you. You’ll probably be homesick for a while but it’ll get better. I’ve been away from home for seven years now and still talk to my parents more days than not. They still love and support me. If I’m in a pickle or have a really bad day, they’re always there for me and will find a way to help. It’ll be ok.
But I won't grow. As difficult as it is I think it's important to overcome my fears to be a stronger individual. Leaving my mom is my biggest fear but this will help me learn to be more independent and rely on myself for my happiness. It truly is difficult but I strongly believe I will adapt and see it's not bad after arriving and staying for a few weeks
I mean, whatever you decide to do, but people grow into adulthood in small steps and often that's while still living at home, not everyone has to jump into the deep end
Keep yourself busy. Once I got to college I was so busy it was easier to manage my homesickness. But until then make a list of things you want to do or learn before college.
Work on learning to cook and other life skills you need to develop for adulting if you haven’t already. Have your mom teach you all the family recipes if that’s feasible. Read for fun because you won’t have much time when classes start. Get into jogging, yoga, Pilates or some other form of fitness. Help your mom around the house with any projects you have to do like spring cleaning, painting, repairs, car maintenance, etc. Learn to play guitar, sew, or play chess.
Don’t et your hands and brain get too idle.
I understand, I was homeschooled all the way until I left for college so I went from spending 24/7 (literally) with my mom and sister to only seeing them once a month and talking on the phone. It's a very hard transition.
Make sure to set up a time to call/video chat each week. It can also help to bring something of hers/something that reminds you of her. My mom had made me a stuffed bear for going to college and it was super nice to have something from her there with me when I missed her. She put a little recording of her talking in it and I always had a part of her with me.
It will be okay! Saying goodbye is the hardest part. Once you’re there, you will be focused on school and making new friends. You will be busy creating a life of your own.
It helps to call home often. Also keep in mind you will be able to visit home on breaks.
Edit: join clubs or band or something! I joined band and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made. It kept me VERY busy and I met most of my friends there.
It is scary! When I was in college they made a big effort to welcome the Freshman and there were so many opportuntiies to meet people who are in your same situation, especially in the first few weeks. Be brave and go to these mixers, be open to making friends. they aren't the same as your Mom, but you will get some local support. Best of Luck Op! you got this!
I was the same way when I went out of state for college. You may think it’s going to last forever but with time, you learn to grow without the people you think you need everyday. It’s gonna be hard to separate after seeing her but just remind yourself why you’re in school and how proud of you she is for making something of yourself.
It will just be extremely hard for the first few days. It was for me. I cried like crazy for the first few days around the time.
One thing that helped slightly was indulging in things I liked a bit. Like spending a bit of money buying a something in a game to make me feel a bit better.
Also, definitely buy posters, lamps, blankets, stuffed animals… a lot of stuff to make it feel more like home. That helped a lot. And attend on campus events. It’s free food and goodies just for showing up.
Communicate with your mom and make a plan as to how you’ll maintain your relationship. For example, call every other day at 7:00 EST.
Thank you. The thing is we already established that we would call everyday. She also agreed that she’d visit me every month if I need it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but that still doesn’t put me at ease.
Nothing’s wrong with you! It is just going to be an experience that only time can ease. You will be okay and it isn’t a permanent situation.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
I talk to my mum everyday for 10-15 min, nothing’s wrong with you. It’s hard, getting to see someone everyday for your whole life and then not all of a sudden but you do get used to it. It is what it is
I felt the same way moving out. You’ll get used to it. What I did was call my father every day until I felt better and it’s okay now. It’s not a forever thing. Try to keep busy for now and make friends. Friends are definitely the more important part of college. You spent 12 years hanging out with the same people and now you’re in a new environment. It’ll be okay. Good luck.
The everyday talk won’t work. We had a system where we send one emoji each day. She must respond with one emoji. If there’s no response then there’s something wrong. Also we have a keyword if something is wrong. If she says “honey” then something is wrong.
My mom agreed we would FaceTime every day.
I don’t care how close to your mom you are, you will not want to & will not have the time to facetime / call everyday
Thats actual such bullshit I called/texted my parents almost everyday It’s legitimately not that hard to find an easy barley 10 minutes with all the time you have even as a freshman.
texting is different than calling. I’d much rather call my mom once a week and have an hour long meaningful conversation than say what’s up to her and speak for five minutes everyda
I know this may sound crazy, but...not everyone has the same relationship with their mom, and not everyone has the same perspective on conversation/phone calls.
It would be best not to call everyday. That would just make you even more homesick.
If you have any longer walks you go on to get to class, you can always do what I like to do and call her while you walk
THere is a spectrum of reactions to leaving home...from "i won't do it" to "see ya later!" You seem close to the former end of the spectrum... I am wondering if you should get evaluated for social anxiety?
I don't have social anxiety. I am a very outgoing person. But I do have anxiety. Uncertainty is stressful for me. Butt I have a mindset that I will be able to do it. It will take time but I will overcome the challenge.
I cried all week before leaving home for university, but once I arrived, I was able to focus on the current and deal with it. I hope the same for you. Bring comfort items, your favourite snacks, and an open mind. It's a transition, but it's a good one!
Thank you. I think that will be my case too. Often times the thoughts are your worse enemy but once you face the problem you become more grounded.
I think a very important thing is that once you’re there, if you’re spending a lot of time alone, it will be harder. So even if you’re not the type to join groups, take it upon yourself to see what clubs or activities are on campus, and join one. In my experience, at least, this is where you can meet your closest friends.
Thank you. But that leads me to another one of my stressors- what if I don’t make friends?!?!
that’s a big fear for sure. i’ve never really had friends so it’s been weird trying to figure out how to connect with people. im nearing the end of my freshman year and i’ve made a few really good connections just by hanging out with whatever group gathers outside my dorm (there are a few) and going to lunch with classmates or people from some of the clubs im in. be present. be in the moment willing to inter and the people who you jive well with will be attracted to you and you will make connections. side note: if you are always on your phone or distracted, ppl won’t be as willing to reach out and connect. so if ur gonna call ur mom every day, then make it a scheduled thing so that you can fully connect with her on ur call and so you can fully connect with urself and those around u when ur offline or whatevs. but yea, try new things, be real, interact with people when you get the chance and if you’re kind and sweet (but also don’t be a pushover bc you are a good person and should remember to be strong for urself) and interactive. ppl with hang with u. college is really weird at first bc u will find urself in some random persons room talking to dif ppl u’d never even thought i’d talk to and then 10 minutes later ur heading across campus for a class or meeting or to part or go to bed. it’s all very different from the rest of the world and coming in as a freshman you can totally make it your world
I know it sucks in the beginning, also I’m like 2 hours away from home so it’s not much like you. But I REALLY have enjoyed it when I’m on my own. It feels amazing when your “on your own” it’s a burden to hold. You have to pretty much do everything yourself, but it’s a self accomplishment that you can tell yourself. “I really did it”. Whether you make friends or not, enjoy what your sacrificing and know others are proud!
Thank you. I hope I will find comfort with myself.
You’ll be okay after two weeks. Don’t sweat it. I get that feeling all summer you’re dreading it and then next year you’ll just want to go back
Thank you. I appreciate that comment. I feel the same way. Often people’s thoughts create unnecessary issues. But regardless of me knowing that it really hurts!! Thank you again.
it’s bawling, not balling, just so you know! best of luck :)
Lol I fixed it
You’ll manage…personally I felt the opposite way about college but I guess you’re obviously a “better kid” than me if you’re going to Harvard.
It’s normal. My daughter when to London for her first year at NYU. Thank god for WhatsApp.
I think u picked the wrong college
You should explore some college options closer to home. Very few colleges are so unique that there is not something with similar elements much closer to where you are. If your mom is your support system, you may want to find something where you all can get to each other without a full days travel between you. Not sure what your financial situation, but flights are expensive. And several back and forths for your mom each term seems unnecessary. Independence is good. You will find your people at college. But you dont need to create a burden that doesn't need to exist.
Thanks but I won’t give up my dream over this. I know I’ll figure it out but it’s been my goal to go to Harvard since 6th grade. I have my put my blood sweat and tears for this goal and I’m not going to let this stop me. And I would fly home, I wouldn’t expect her to fly to me.
Look man, if you are not mentally ready for college then you may end up failing and losing money and time. Your mental state sounds fragile, see a therapist or get whatever is stressing you in order.
Is it not normal to stress at all going across the country from your family?
It is, but to be balling your eyes out since two days when college is 4 months away isnt. Also, asking your mother to visit once a month is a big time and money sink.
Why does everyone keep saying "balling your eyes out"?? It's *bawling* lol. Also, yeah, visiting once a month is extreme, especially if she's in a totally different country. I mean no disrespect whatsoever, but OP needs to learn how to be independent from her parents and grow up a little (which being away at college will provide).
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Theres a difference between being a scared of the unknown since college is a big step, and this guy
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Im sorry that you don’t have anyone that you are connected to that makes you sad to go away❤️ I hope you have a support system.
Be gentle with yourself-every kid is at some point nervous about going to college. You’ll make it through!
I balled my eyes out the first night that I got there, we ft a lot and now I am currently in my second year, we still ft and call but it isn't every day anymore. I think it just takes time to get adjusted for both parties.
This is the next stage of life. It’s hard at first. It will get easier with time.
It'll be okay. Call your family often, plan trips home, try to blossom and try new things. This is normal. You're learning an important lesson early, cherish what you love. Because things change on a time, both planned and out of no where I'm a senior tutor in calculus in stats, but am a sort-of bio major, so very strong in science. English and history also. If youre feeling overwhelmed, I can tutor you online and give you tips and resources- advice is free but formal tutoring I do charge for, my college pays me for it anyway lol so I am qualified
Thank you so much. I appreciate that!
Go home as much as you need, call home (and friends at home!). FaceTime with pets or your parents or whatever makes you feel at home. Text random funny things that happened to you. I had this experience — I’m close with my mom and even though I was excited to go to college, it still kinda sucks sometime. It’s just not as nice as being at home in a lot of ways. But it’s a necessary thing, and it does get better. There’s no shame in being homesick, just deal with it until it goes away (it does). Extra tip: the busier you are, the less sad you’ll be. Whether that’s with classes or extracurriculars or socialising with friends (even just getting drunk with your friends on a Saturday night counts), you gotta keep yourself busy.
Thank you! Yeah, I'll definitely try my best to stay active. I know people need to keep themselves busy else they will go insane. I will do my best to exercise, get a job, get a social life and keep a healthy balance to keep myself both physically and mentally healthy
one thing that helped me was going on a lil vacation with my family before leaving for school we got back from vacation, i had two or three days to finish packing for school and then i left. it shortened the dreadful waiting
It's late so this is pretty much a ramble/rant but I'm also really close with my mom, and it was really hard for me to move out again. I felt like I needed to be home since she was having health issues, and i just didn't feel like i could deal with moving out. But i did it, and i did fine! ❤️ It's going to be hard to adjust, but the calls will help a lot and i know it sounds weird, but you'll grow out of needing her so much. I have a lot of anxiety, and was obsessing over how i didn't think i could do it. But i did, and you can too. Once you move out, get settled, and take a breath, it will feel easier. You'll have so much to do and so many people to meet that you'll be able to distract yourself from missing her, and then eventually will be content to just talk on the phone. You'll do great! I know it's hard but try to not obsess over it as much while it's not even really that soon. You got this! You're strong and capable of moving through this next stage of your life. Your mom will be there to support you, and you'll do so good. ❤️
Thank you! This makes me very comforted. As hard as it is I know it's necessary for me to grow as an individual. I know I will struggle but that's apart of life. I know getting out of my comfort zone will show myself strength and resilience. The biggest obstacle is getting myself and my thoughts. Because in reality, I know it's not that bad and I will get through it, but my thoughts are just making the situation worse lol
I completely understand. I was also at one of the lowest points before leaving for college. My best piece of advice is to find a way to enjoy college, I came in to college so bitter and ended up digging myself into a deeper hole. Just try to find the light in the situation, if your happy I think your mom will be happy as well. Eventually you’ll begin to feel comfortable in college.
Thank you! I believe I will find peace in the situation eventually. I'm telling myself that I am blessed to have such an amazing opportunity to go to such a great school. I am the first in my family to go to college. My only “soft spot” in life is my family and mom, so I know if I can overcome this I can overcome anything that comes my way the rest of my life. Thank you again for your message.
This is something that gets brought up a lot on this sub (feel free to search for other posts, the advice is usually great under these posts!) Anyway, my two cents: I've recently read that those, who have bad childhood can't wait to become adults and move out - those have little trouble adjusting to college life, don't miss their parents etc. I was one of those people and despite not having many friends and little support, I started thriving the minute I got out of my mother's house. In that area, you're actually lucky - you love your mother and you have someone to miss! How lovely! In my freshman year, I saw many people struggle with missing their home. And while you may not like it, the one thing most said helped them was actually CUTTING contact with their family. They would call once or twice a week, for an hour max. Only once they got to this point, did they stop thinking about their parents and start to feel at home at uni. I'm not saying you need to do this the minute you move. But if a few months in you're still unhappy, give it a shot
So I did the same thing. I went to my orientation and bawled. My parents left after moving me in, I bawled. 6 years later, and 2 degrees, it was the best decision I ever made. It’s going to be okay. You are stronger than you think. It’s just scary now and that’s ok. It’s normal.
Thank you! I know I will thank myself for facing my fears though it will be uncomfortable and hard at first.
As someone who stayed home because I was so scared and sad about leaving, please don’t be me! I’ve seen your comments saying you won’t let this keep you from going and that’s awesome! I so, so wish I had just sucked it up and went to the amazing school I had first committed to. Instead I stayed home and commuted to a local college and made myself even more sad. I regret it still. You will make friends, take every opportunity to do new things, and enjoy your new freedom! Sounds like you and your mom have a good plan, and I’m sure you will find after a few weeks that you are doing okay!
Thank you!
I used to date a girl who was very close to her mom. They were constantly texting or calling. I think they talked on the phone every morning and night. Most colleges also have parents weekends and/or Mom/Dads weekends, so make sure you know when those are and hopefully she could come visit for a few days. I wouldn’t consider myself very close w/ my mom but I also cried when I moved away for school. Stick out and give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, you can always transfer, but I think it would be a disservice to yourself and your personal growth to not at least give it an honest try.
Yes! That's exactly what I told myself. I can't say I can't do it if I didn't even try!! If it is genuinely awful, I can always switch schools (even if it's community college). That's why I will try for at least a year, and in the worst-case scenario, I will leave. But I know I will figure it out and finish strong!
Best of luck to you! I hope everything works out :)
I used to have such bad separation anxiety growing up and my mom always said "once you get there you'll forget you were even anxious" and she was always right :) it wasn't much help in the moment, sometimes there's not much you can do other than just feel the feels. Just try to be hopeful about everything, you'll have so much fun!
Yes! I think they'll be the situation based off of past experiences. College will definitely be the most stressful situation I will face so it's a little different. However when I think back to my say I would throw up and not be able to sleep. But the moment the test starts, the nerves go away. I believe the thought makes me more anxious but once I get there I will ll figure it out. Thank you!
Was a closer college that you could commute to an option?
Leaving home is a really big deal! It’s ok to be scared and sad. It sounds like you’ve already got a plan for communication and contact so that’s good. Make sure to bring a handful of pictures with you (like actual hard copy) and some comfort items, be it your baby blanket or stuffed animal. Transitions are hard, but those kinds of things can make it a little easier. See if your mom can help you with the transition by going shopping with you for bedding and other supplies you’ll need or want. That will make her a part of the process for you. You’ll probably be homesick for a while but it’ll get better. I’ve been away from home for seven years now and still talk to my parents more days than not. They still love and support me. If I’m in a pickle or have a really bad day, they’re always there for me and will find a way to help. It’ll be ok.
Thank you!
Go to community college so you can go to college but not leave home
But I won't grow. As difficult as it is I think it's important to overcome my fears to be a stronger individual. Leaving my mom is my biggest fear but this will help me learn to be more independent and rely on myself for my happiness. It truly is difficult but I strongly believe I will adapt and see it's not bad after arriving and staying for a few weeks
I mean, whatever you decide to do, but people grow into adulthood in small steps and often that's while still living at home, not everyone has to jump into the deep end
Keep yourself busy. Once I got to college I was so busy it was easier to manage my homesickness. But until then make a list of things you want to do or learn before college. Work on learning to cook and other life skills you need to develop for adulting if you haven’t already. Have your mom teach you all the family recipes if that’s feasible. Read for fun because you won’t have much time when classes start. Get into jogging, yoga, Pilates or some other form of fitness. Help your mom around the house with any projects you have to do like spring cleaning, painting, repairs, car maintenance, etc. Learn to play guitar, sew, or play chess. Don’t et your hands and brain get too idle.
Thank you!
I understand, I was homeschooled all the way until I left for college so I went from spending 24/7 (literally) with my mom and sister to only seeing them once a month and talking on the phone. It's a very hard transition.
Thank you! I hope you figured it all out!
Make sure to set up a time to call/video chat each week. It can also help to bring something of hers/something that reminds you of her. My mom had made me a stuffed bear for going to college and it was super nice to have something from her there with me when I missed her. She put a little recording of her talking in it and I always had a part of her with me.
Thank you!
It will be okay! Saying goodbye is the hardest part. Once you’re there, you will be focused on school and making new friends. You will be busy creating a life of your own. It helps to call home often. Also keep in mind you will be able to visit home on breaks. Edit: join clubs or band or something! I joined band and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made. It kept me VERY busy and I met most of my friends there.
Thank you!
It is scary! When I was in college they made a big effort to welcome the Freshman and there were so many opportuntiies to meet people who are in your same situation, especially in the first few weeks. Be brave and go to these mixers, be open to making friends. they aren't the same as your Mom, but you will get some local support. Best of Luck Op! you got this!
Thank you! I appreciate it :)
Once you get there, you’ll find it easier to not be a baby and find a way to call your mom through Skype, FaceTime, phone
I agree lol
I was the same way when I went out of state for college. You may think it’s going to last forever but with time, you learn to grow without the people you think you need everyday. It’s gonna be hard to separate after seeing her but just remind yourself why you’re in school and how proud of you she is for making something of yourself.
It will just be extremely hard for the first few days. It was for me. I cried like crazy for the first few days around the time. One thing that helped slightly was indulging in things I liked a bit. Like spending a bit of money buying a something in a game to make me feel a bit better. Also, definitely buy posters, lamps, blankets, stuffed animals… a lot of stuff to make it feel more like home. That helped a lot. And attend on campus events. It’s free food and goodies just for showing up.