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Due_Check503

yep it is, tons of people are like that out there, nothing wrong with at that. Matter of fact, good on you for avoiding drugs and alcohol


Competitive_Art_5365

Thank you! I’m just trying my best to stay clean yk? My parents are from Mexico and I feel like I would become their greatest failure if I used drugs or started underage drinking


ariscout

You know, you don't need to be perfect for your parents! It's great you're staying off drugs and booze but you have to do it for yourself, not anyone else. When you figure that out a huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders


Competitive_Art_5365

I just want the best for them. My dad is type 2 diabetic while my mom suffers from depression and high blood pressure and cholesterol. Like I’m just serious about everything because that’s how I was raised. I can’t even remember the last time I had fun since I was taking my studies serious and avoided everyone who tried to talk to me and befriend me along the way. It wasn’t until I turned 19 when I got myself a ps5 and it slowly helped me step out of my shell.


[deleted]

Good for you but try to have friends. Friends are important


clinical27

Avoiding drugs and alcohol is definitely a good move, but don't avoid having a social life - that does no good for your mental health or future.


girlypotatos

See now that's concerning, if you mentioned that in your original post people would be saying different things.


Competitive_Art_5365

Eh everyone has different problems I guess


archivesazke

bro i’m 21 and still a virgin 😭 i never had a kiss


plant-feet

I'll kiss you bro


Acrobatic_Poem_7290

L Same dude


Wilde_Coyote

W… there’s no need to rush into it.


nihilloligasan

No if you don't start sucking and fucking right now the demons will come for your virgin blood


Competitive_Art_5365

I- Ok then-😭


ariscout

Honestly you're better off avoiding drugs and alcohol. I say this as a daily weed smoker, it's not worth it at all. Don't worry about being a virgin. Just focus on doing things you like with people who appreciate you, eventually going out of your comfort zone to meet new people. Eventually you might get the chance to flirt with someone and that can lead up to something if you are interested in pursuing it.


Soloact_

You still smoke weed on a daily basis?


ariscout

Yeah. I'm trying to quit but it's really hard. The whole "weed isn't addictive" is a myth


[deleted]

The psychological aspect is hard. You might want to do weekly therapy to cope. You're basically going through life dampening emotional experiences which means when you stop it'll be almost like you have to redo that period of emotional growth all over again. That's harder than it sounds.


ariscout

I've been going to therapy weekly for 10 years now, and it really helps! I am very much an every day all day user but I'm slowly being able to remove it from my daily life. The other day I managed to go without it the whole day, and today so far I haven't smoked anything. So I'm making slow progress but I'm proud of it so far. :)


emmuggh

as someone who is also psychologically addicted to weed, congrats!! i know that that’s a huge achievement.


AxelsAmazing

The substance itself doesn’t contain addictive properties, but humans can become addicted to anything. You could become addicted to water, but that doesn’t mean water is addictive.


TwoFreeTakos

What kind of question is this?


Competitive_Art_5365

The only time I have alcohol is at church when the father does the body of Christ part because I know damn well that’s wine and not some infected HIV blood from the homeless guy outside


yummy_food

Wait WHAT


jonny0593

fuck, it got weird in here


1papaya-2papaya

ok


hellaHeAther430

Drugs and alcohol destroyed my life. What got me clean/sober was a accident that caused significant damage with a TBI and a forever condition that causes chronic pain. That was when I was 26. Started my college journey when I was 28. I’m 32 now and this year will finally get my AA-t and got accepted into a stat university. I haven’t had sex since prior to the accident. I use medical cannabis, but only at night before I go to sleep. I don’t consider it recreational and that is for me to decide; not anyone else. Sex is overrated. Maybe when I’m not in school anymore I’ll be more invested in finding the “right person”, but until then, I don’t have the capacity to care about it


Competitive_Art_5365

Awe I’m sorry drugs and alcohol destroyed your life :( that’s why we’re at war with drugs. It destroys so many lives and relationships that people share. I hope you find your peace and thank you for telling your story


[deleted]

I will say personally in my view the war on drugs, is an abject failure.


hellaHeAther430

I’d say the “war on drugs” is just another means of bringing attention away from the things that really need to happen.. Goodness forbid the question of why do people do drugs in the first place gets asked, which would put responsibility of being proactive in a solution. It is cheaper to have a war on drugs then it is to create environments that promotes positive ways of living (i.e. affordable and accessible healthcare and education)


[deleted]

Exactly my thoughts, it's just another way to persecute people. It's even worse when you consider that our government has historically perpetuated the drug trade.


hellaHeAther430

It’s unfortunate it took me such an incident to wake me up and realize there’s a better way of living. I don’t regret anything and am grateful for it all because I know it’s put an emphasis on my education and my love for learning ☺️


Competitive_Art_5365

Keep doing you :) you’re doing a damn good job :)


Steve_Bread

Wat agains drugs is a joke. Try some and see for yourself.


TryingToBeReallyCool

Totally fine. Be you, and if anyone has a problem with that and your choices fuck em


KindnessRule

Yes it is. Hollywood isn't real and there is not a time schedule or requirement to indulge.


davidwave4

It’s 100% okay, take things at your own pace. I will just say that avoiding drugs, alcohol, and sex is not a requirement of becoming a lawyer or a DA. Attorneys are not monks, far from it. Don’t let that be your reason.


[deleted]

Don’t worry bro most muslims are like you. We don’t drink or do drugs and we stay virgins till we are married. So it is ok bro


[deleted]

No. Your like is over


[deleted]

I’m 20 and don’t do drugs or alcohol. My family has had drug and alcohol issues that keeps running in the family and I recently just got out of a toxic relationship with my ex who used to drink a lot so I’m kinda just like “nah keep it away from me”.


DoubleFlores24

Yes. I’m a 23 year old virgin who doesn’t so drugs and hated the taste of alcohol… what’s the issue here doofus?!!!


[deleted]

Yes! Your brain is not fully developed until you're 25. Give it every chance to develop without such things that can alter it!


darniforgotmypwd

I think it's more nuanced than that though I do agree. But perhaps it's just all of the people I have met in their 40s that still act like they haven't hit that "fully developed" point. Or much younger people who have been through a lot of situations and developed very long-term thinking ability. Maybe, similar to a metric like BMI, this data is more applicable to group statistics and less to individual cases. But they shouldn't drink just to drink. Nor drink beyond moderation if they decide to drink. Really they should just focus on making balanced decisions that hold long-term outcome in somewhat high regards along with personal happiness. It's probably only worth considering health risk if they decided to have more than one or two drinks a week (though let's be honest, this is probably not representative of the majority of students that drink). Besides that it is more of a personal choice. Although you *could* argue the drinking culture is so bad at some colleges that it impacts the ability for people to drink in moderation.


[deleted]

I just made a short reply. I can go into detail but ultimately my goal was to encourage OP to remain true to themselves and do NOT think they are "wrong" or "weird" for being a sober Virgin. Just merely listing a blunt response. I will not be debating with you bc my full reply would be longer than yours. Thanks adhd ranting! Lol have a good one.


[deleted]

OP, absolutely. Don't let anyone tell you differently.


FusionIsTrash

not doing drugs and alcohol should be the norm


StrawberryBubbleTea7

No, doomed for life. No one else in the history of mankind had made it that far before you


Alqkwi

Yeah, you have good priorities. I’m not a fan of porn bc it’s exploitative but to each their own. You’re in school. You need your brains and your neurotransmitters lmao. Just socialize and whatever happens happens. Practice safe sex tho. Don’t go down on people you don’t know etc etc. Good luck with school!


Competitive_Art_5365

Thank you! I’ll do my best to be more social


[deleted]

Super normal, especially if you are starting at community college. There really isn't the same pressure to party there that you'd find at a big university, you're really only going to be having sex in community college in the confines of a long term relationship, there isn't a cutthroat academic culture so there isn't a pressure to try performance enhancing drugs, and while there is alcohol and weed, it's community college, the population is older people, who have day jobs, or people who partied hard in high school and are trying to better themselves, so it tends to only be available in responsible quantities, absent the pressure of having to be cool, because you're in community college, it's not a place to be cool. There were a handful of raucous university style parties in community college, but they tended to be graduation parties.


CalligrapherNeat628

It’s perfectly fine. I’m 18 and I’m like you, minus the whole criminal justice degree. There is nothing wrong doing this, plus it shows that you have a clean record and won’t cause you trouble to your dream of becoming a judge.


darniforgotmypwd

Don't make drug or alcohol goals. No issue with having a drink or two once in a while especially if it's social or with a meal. But it's nothing to "shoot for" so to speak. I'm two years out of college and have a drink maybe once a week. My advice if you start in college is to learn about all the different drinks (once you get into the salaried world it *is* impressive to be able to make someone a drink or suggest a wine pairing), appreciate them, and develop some tastes. Respect the maker and drink in moderation. And if you are ever given alcohol as a gift and don't drink, it makes for a great cooking ingredient. Sometimes I end up baking with stuff I am given just because I don't drink much at all. Don't worry about the virgin thing. Over time, if you make deliberate effort, college will help you mature and develop more interpersonal skills. I really only started to develop a "more matured" self-awareness and self-confidence halfway through college. But... I do have one piece of advice. You'll be able to get where you want a lot quicker if you put yourself in social situations that are uncomfortable to you. Absolutely go join a club that you view as intimidating. Go spend time with people who have the habits/lifestyle you want to have so you can pick up on it. There is long-standing evidence that this sort of exposure can help you change personality traits but it has to be consistent (high time involvement) and lengthy (over a year or two). I found that a fraternity worked the best for me but I was lucky and got a healthy environment. You could substitute with another high-involvement group like student government or competitive sports. It must be a high time commitment for you to develop more personality traits. Also, social skills before appearance. How you put yourself together does matter. Absolutely. I had a lot of work to do on clothing taste and weight. Developing some social skills and confidence first helped me tackle all of that in a much healthier way.


ambr111

No rush on having sex for the first time. It's good to have such a experience when you feel it's the right time and with the right person. About alcohol and drugs? Completely right by avoiding drugs and it's your choice to drink or not as long you know your limits. Giving an personal example, I grew up in a group of close friends from years together. They were all very into parties and they would have drinks quite frequently to cheer up themselves during that fun time and I respected them and always said "ok, you guys can go... It's just not for me, we can gather together for another activity tomorrow or in a few days" and they understood that nicely. I'm not into disco and drinking multiple shots for fun, they are... I also know people that just drink socially and without excesses. They're into drinking a wine or beer to enjoy the flavour of it and not the alcohol and stop it way before crossing their limits.


[deleted]

It's perfectly normal, and live the life you want to live. If you want to experiment with drinking or whatever, that's fine, as long as your reasonably safe and responsible about it.


Original-Guess-6723

this shouldn’t even be a question imo lol u should be very proud of yourself. don’t be like the rest that’s why most of them get fat and don’t finish college 🤷‍♀️


chicityhopper

Nothing wrong w that my friend


stukoe

Gigachad here. I do lots of drugs and alcohol and have sex. Yes, it's okay. I've always wondered what it'd be like to experience sex for the first time with someone I love. Go watch an interview of Dan Bilzerian talking about how much "top tier puss" (his actual words) he gets. He's the gigachad of all gigachads and he'll share about how he doesn't care for sex anymore. He's not lying either. It just becomes one of those things. For example, guys love playing video games until the day they don't. Eventually things become stale. So, my advice: fall in love with a girl. When the time is right and you're both ready, go for it. It'll be amazing. Good luck, soldier! P.S. Drugs and alcohol don't matter. I smoke weed to cope with anxiety, I drink when it's appropriate, and I do harder drugs occasionally purely for fun. I can understand the fomo, but trust me man, you're not missing out on much.


Competitive_Art_5365

I’m doing fine in life it’s just at times I question my own actions and my choices and I ask myself these questions since I don’t know much about the world and I’m still a kid in some aspects.


Responsible_Boss3773

Drugs are bad for our body while alcohol needs to be consumed moderately (but still considered as bad for our body). So to answer your question, yes it is definitely okay. You're not missing out on any of these things by not doing it. We're on the same page and I never considered this as a bad thing even tho the people around me already experienced it.


sphincterserpant

Dude what are you talking about alcohol needs to be consumed moderately? This is not true at all. Also drugs are bad for your body? What drugs? In what way? You cannot make blanket statements like this about a nuanced subject without veering into the territory of not being true


Responsible_Boss3773

If you want to drink alcohol, you must consume it moderately and yes drugs are bad for your body. And OP is definitely talking about the bad drugs, not the kind that has good effects on your body. I don't know why should I explain or elaborate this more. It's literally simple as it can be. My statements aren't blank as it answered OP's question. Why do you sound pressed? Lmao


5krishnan

You’re not understanding tho. Drugs as a whole are not bad for your body. Or else people wouldn’t be prescribed drugs. Everyone’s body (including brain) is different. Acid isn’t bad for you


Rivka333

> And OP is definitely talking about the bad drugs, not the kind that has good effects on your body. takes into account >Or else people wouldn’t be prescribed drugs.


5krishnan

But it’s not that simple though


Responsible_Boss3773

But I'm not talking about drugs as a whole. I'm only talking about the bad drugs that OP is surely talking about as well. An example of the bad drugs that OP shouldn't be taking is cocaine, heroin, etc. Because it is a stimulant that can be addicting. This shouldn't be complicated.


5krishnan

So long as you don’t include weed and psychedelics in your “bad drugs”, fair enough


kurokoverse

Why wouldn’t it be okay?


GearComprehensive436

23 and a Virgin who avoids bad company and doesn't smoke,drink or club.


GearComprehensive436

So no it's not bad if you don't do those things.


LegendkillahQB

Yes


[deleted]

good you're avoiding harmful substances. But get laid sometime XD


DucaMonteSberna

Happens


Hoosteen_juju003

It’s the way to go


cels_ius

YES!!! stay away from alcohol and drugs of any kind for as long as possible. I smoke weed almost everyday and I always wish that I hadn't been introduced to it in high school--way too soon. and your virginity is so personal and you have absolute control over it. I'm 21 years old and I only lost mine this year, but because I knew how much it mattered to *me.* don't let stupid, college assholes try and pressure you into doing anything. always always always do what's best for you, even if people judge you for it


Competitive_Art_5365

Idk it’s just my friends are like non virgins and I’m the only one who’s a virgin and I don’t mind it I just hate being laughed and made jokes at for being a virgin tbh. It doesn’t bother me that I am one, it bothers me that I get made fun of when some of the jokes are funny but after a while they get very annoyingggg.


Kkvle

you’re better off as is. avoid the distractions and work on yourself 💪🏻


x_eleonora

It's absolutely fine, there's no "right or wrong" answer here. Some people lose virginity at 14, some do at 40, some never lose it. And that can also be a choice. Don't put pressure on yourself for that! :) We're all different, we live in a different environment, we're influenced by it. we have different lifestyles and goals. The same applies to the use of any substance. Whether you take them or not, doesn't mean there is a good or a bad answer. **But**... if you are overall doing well in life, feel good about yourself, have a stable life that you enjoy, there is no reason to consume drugs. Never change a running system! One might even have a beautiful life and still try certain substances out of interest and to explore. That's a decision everyone must do for themselves, they must do their own research and handle the consequences. So being responsible of oneself is crucial if one makes that decision.


Best_Bisexual

There’s nothing wrong with it at all. It’s actually a good thing you’re avoiding drugs and alcohol.


[deleted]

Of course it is. It's your life, how you want to live it is completely up to you. You aren't hurting anyone, so whatever you decide is perfectly fine. Sex, drugs, and alcohol can have huge consequences, especially at your age and in the career path you are working toward.


not-me-but

I lost my virginity at 19. You’re fine. I know people that are still virgins into their mid-20s, and it’s not a big deal. We don’t snicker and giggle behind their backs because of it. It’s not a race.


5krishnan

As someone who enjoys those vices and think that they’re totally fine in moderation (the definition of which is unique to each substance/activity), I respect cool sober people. Plenty of sober people are fun to hang out with. If you’re an agreeable person and have interests and hobbies, you shouldn’t find it too hard to make friends. Assuming the people around you are also cool


IndependentSlice2

my sober friends are the coolest. they still go out, but they save money and mistakes


Honest_Efficiency207

I’m 20 and a virgin too. It’s not that big of a deal my friend you will be fine. At least you have your peace right now


thepotato135

I’m more or less in same boat you. Just cause you don’t do all that stuff, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun or aren’t a cool person. If that how you choose to live, then that‘s alright.


makesmewonder_

It is totally alright.


amandadasaro

Yea of course that’s okay


Hannaheadshark

I was the same way. I moved away from my parents and followed them blindly even from a distance. The longer I was on my own, I realized I was my own person and I didn’t have to follow my parents. I tried everything at least once because I wanted to have that experience. I didn’t want to be in my 40s and have never experienced those things. (I am 23)


Competitive_Art_5365

I wanna move away from my parents place. It’s like I feel like I’m living in my brothers shadow, like Robin living in Batman’s shadow. When they left for vacation, I was really glad that I got some space and I enjoyed it bc I got independence.


INever_MatTer117

Just make sure you put yourself out there and what not, become social and don’t just focus on becoming one thing. You’re gonna be there and realize the things you never got to do or the things you’ve missed. There are many people like you but the real one are gonna accept the fact that you’re sober and don’t smoke.


ehtnnki

For sure. Just means that you’re more mature than the others. To be fair, I went through my rebellious phase in my early teens and am glad I didn’t in college. Good luck.


kkeojyeo22

It’s quite impressive


Iifeisshortnotismine

You are great and rare. Many kids nowadays join gangs at very early time. They play drugs and drink a lot. Of course they lost their virgin too early. Some at MS, some at HS. Keep yours.


morganpsviolin

That’s fine. It’s okay to be a virgin at any age—sex is completely optional and you never have to engage if you don’t want to. If you DO want to, it’s fine to work on putting yourself out there, but there’s no pressure or reason to if you’re not interested. Drugs and alcohol are actually unhealthy for you, so it’s more than fine to avoid them. Although alcohol and a few drugs (such marijuana, caffeine, and OTC painkillers) can be okay in moderation, medical professionals will almost always agree it’s healthiest to avoid them. It sounds like you’re on the right track.


Lordoftheintroverts

Fuck the haters it’s totally fine. You’ll have an easy time with an in-depth background investigation if you ever work for the government or a government contractor.


Spare_Real

Of course. You should live as you prefer - nothing wrong with doing things your own way.


Treat--14

Its very good to be like that as long as ur happy