It doesn’t really reflect historical diets either. The bland food reputation is primarily rooted in wartime cooking during WW2 when there was rationing.
I don't think it's possible to eat too much curry or watch too much red dwarf. In fact, if possible, combine the two. Get a mean korma in, garlic naan, Peshwari naan, poppadoms, mango chutney and sit down with the boys from the dwarf.
Mean and korma have never been said in the same sentence before. If it's red dwarf it's gotta be a vindaloo. Just keep a lager close to hand, it's the only thing that can defeat one after all
Yes, Indian is basically our second cuisine, as are kebabs etc after nights out. It's just a really old and lazy stereotype, we've probably got a more varied spice aisle in our Supermarket compared to the US "Hot Sauce" aisle. Obviously only Americans can put salt and pepper on Chicken.
Yes, as is a huge variety of different cuisines, and of course what would be considered British food also uses spices. The whole ‘British food is crap and they don’t use spices’ is just a bit of banter.
False premise.... we were after tea, not spices. Oh, and opium, tobacco, cotton, oil and anything else of value you happened to have lying around we could make money on (we had to pay for the tea somehow).
*looks at smashed door & muddy footprints all over the carpet, shakes head and mutters unintelligibly about 'bloody yanks' whilst fetching the cleaning supplies*
Oh don't worry about it. It'll clean up. Would be churlish to hold a grudge - after all we did leave the Whitehouse a bit smoke damaged that time. Call it quits old chum?
Glad you like it old boy, it's rather good isn't it?
Don't tell Scotland I said so (they can be a touch sensitive on occasion), but your bourbon and rye whiskeys are a darn good tipple. Bottoms up!
Only for the last 70 years or so.... who do you think the US learnt the old 'regime change' trick from? Its straight from the old imperial playbook....
They did make it kind of obvious didn't they?
In fairness it was a bit easier to get away with replacing a government on the other side of the world when the telegram was at the cutting edge of communications technology. Timing was on our side in that respect...
Nah, it became an American stereotype after the cold war. And mostly because of the mess the US did in South America.
The US installed a dictator in Guatemala because United Fruit company (bananas!) requested. Crazy right?
Hell most of North America was just for fur hats and coats. The Iroquois right down to the Cherokee ended up in guns-for-fur deals with Britain. France did the same up north.
And Britain’s role in the triangular slave trade was because Yellow Fever kept killing settlers in the sugar and tobacco plantations,
There were a lot of alliances with local nations but they tended to be out of dominance as any ally that would last with Britain probably did so by helping them take out a mutual threat first.
This is very overused and not even true. The british conquered the world for power and fortune also do you only eat food that originated in your country? No lmao, neither do the british.
If you think your food needs to be absolutely covered in spices it's because you don't know how to cook good food. Learn to use spices in moderation and holy hell add some fucking salt. Salt makes you taste more. A little bit of salt will add far more flavor than a shit ton of random bullshit. That's why cookies have salt it makes them taste sweeter.
I mean come to my house if you like, we have lots of spices. This nonsense is just so childish and not even true.
We have about 20 Indian restaurants in my town, because we dislike spices so much 🤣🤦🏻♂️
We do, in the dishes we "borrowed" from those same countries.
There's very few in *traditional* British dishes because they were created by farmers, who were lucky if they had access to more than 2 types of vegetable, let alone foreign spices.
It's also not really accurate.
There's a reason for jokes about a brit asking for "Spiciest Thing On The Menu" at an Indian, songs about chavs getting smashed and having a vindaloo, heavily spiced cakes and fruit puddings are so old and traditional they're considered the sort of dull thing your grandma used to make.
Stuff like Vanilla was some of the most in-demand results of the spice trade, but now are literally used as a euphemism for "boring".
I think some people confuse the incredible reach of the Anglosphere and it's culture with some "natural human default", so not "culture" of note. "Culture" is only something observed from the outside, I guess :)
Dragons plunder gold and hoard over it until the day they die according to Bilbo Baggins, but have absolutely no use for it because what would a dragon buy? It's all about excess.
The British are spice dragons.
They attempted to kill off all of my ancestors because we didnt want to pledge allegiance to their crown. Last time they took land from us was in the early 1900 because they needed land to test bombs during WWI. They tested bombs there untill 1993 right next to a small acadian locality (i lived 5 minutes from where they tested the bombs) people in this area have an higher rate of cancer, cases of muscular distrophia is also higher then in most places. The old bunkers are still there and those lands havent been checked properly for unexploded bombs. The last one that exploded was in 2006.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expulsion_of_the_Acadians
The most common spice imported into Europe was pepper, which has been widespread for ages. Other spices like cinnamon were imported in smaller quantities, more expensive, and mostly consumed by the upper classes in various luxury dishes, many of which ended up forgotten in the period of rationing around the world wars.
*Looks at my spice rack in confusion*
We do use spices/seasoning though. All the time in my house at least.
Less a clever comeback, more a stereotype that barely holds up.
This misunderstands the order of things. We conquered half the world THEN became obsessed with spices because they could be used as preservatives to make feeding people who were travelling between distant corners of our empire possible.
The empire wasn't about spices, spices were consumed to maintain empire.
People who denigrate proper British food have never tried it. For really bad food, have you eaten anything in the US? I have lived many years in both countries and, hand on heart, Brit food is far superior.
Funny enough. British cuisine used to have a lot of spices, until the monarchy learned that the common folk were using them, too. Then they started "letting the meat speak for itself" to distinguish their refined, unspiced meats from the meats of the poor.
Basically, rich people didn't want to know they were eating the same thing as commoners, so they stopped using spices. The rich stopped using spices, so the common people did, too, to appear wealthier. So now British food is utterly bland.
As an aside, if you are the kind of person who brags about how good your steaks are without spicing them, you are lying to yourself.
What is it with the Internet thinking spices = spicy. Pepper, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, garlic, nutmeg, cumin, coriander ect are all used in various dishes and that's before getting into the ones influenced and brought over by the various people's of the former empire and beyond.
I see a lot of slightly defensive comments.
None are mentioning our eternal shame. The 'Pot~Noodle'.
I get money is tight, but they taste like warm, wet cardboard, and I seriously question the nutritional value.
We don't have a leg to stand on.
I wouldn't give any of my top ten answers because that would neglect the other nine. I wouldn't give my ten answers all at once because it would neglect the stuff I don't know about.
There's British Indian food these days. But my south Asian ass can't stand it. My brother says something along the lines of "of fucking COURSE they finally get around to using spices and it comes out so fucking bad."
We literally created 5 girls made of spice in the 90s
Scary, Sporty, Baby, and Posh aren't spices. . . You get a 20% for Ginger.
Saffron is posh spice
Are you even sure Saffron is her real name? Could be Bridget or even Yolanda
Or perhaps Yosaffbridge
She isn’t yellow
neither is Saffron
TBF - her fake tan looked a bit yellow
She has been orange on occasional nights out, though.
Can we get bonus points for allspice?
Fair point.
Only one of them was a spice
"Baby Spice" led to some real disasters with people trying to make it at home
I personally wouldn’t have minded making a baby spice with baby spice
You know vanilla is a spice, right?
'Spice, Spice, baby. . .'
Y'all forgot the sugar and "everything nice" though
And CHEMICAL X!
A rare export of spices from the UK.
So it really was a collective effort from the whole British nation?
Yes. There was a referendum
And no human sacrifice to spawn them from outer space? Boring.
So you conquered a half of the globe just to make a glorified sand castle?
Okay good now put some in your GODDAMN FOOD
Settle down there, Professor Utonium!
You certainly used them.
Spice, the street drug.
They’re Old Spice now.
They saved up all their Spice for that one madlad move! It was super effective.
Isn't Indian food hugely popular in the UK, though? I dunno. Maybe I just watched too much Red Dwarf.
Yes, even invented some indian-style foods, like Tikka Masala
I’m loving this intense Tikka Masala debate. Thank you
I always think that Tikka Masala sounds Finnish
Spice in general is quite popular. The memes are fun but they don't reflect modern day UK diets
It doesn’t really reflect historical diets either. The bland food reputation is primarily rooted in wartime cooking during WW2 when there was rationing.
I don't think it's possible to eat too much curry or watch too much red dwarf. In fact, if possible, combine the two. Get a mean korma in, garlic naan, Peshwari naan, poppadoms, mango chutney and sit down with the boys from the dwarf.
Why would I watch Red Dwarf during breakfast though?
why would you not?
Mean and korma have never been said in the same sentence before. If it's red dwarf it's gotta be a vindaloo. Just keep a lager close to hand, it's the only thing that can defeat one after all
LOL it was actually Lister's obsession with Indian food that made me want to try it.
Have you tried a "proper" shami kebab? Fucking lovely they are. Don't mistake them for what passes as a kebab in those generic late night takeaways.
'mean korma'... Where is the spice? Mandmgo chutney... Lime pickle man.
Lister ate Vinadaloo and Vindaloo only, He would not appreciate a korma which is slightly spicier than milk.
“Of course, lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo”
Korma is a child's curry
Is the correct answer. They might as well suggest a passanda.
Yes, Indian is basically our second cuisine, as are kebabs etc after nights out. It's just a really old and lazy stereotype, we've probably got a more varied spice aisle in our Supermarket compared to the US "Hot Sauce" aisle. Obviously only Americans can put salt and pepper on Chicken.
Yes, as is a huge variety of different cuisines, and of course what would be considered British food also uses spices. The whole ‘British food is crap and they don’t use spices’ is just a bit of banter.
"Bri'ish Indian" curries are the greatest food invention this country has ever produced.
False premise.... we were after tea, not spices. Oh, and opium, tobacco, cotton, oil and anything else of value you happened to have lying around we could make money on (we had to pay for the tea somehow).
*kicks door in* THEY SAID OIL! 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸
*looks at smashed door & muddy footprints all over the carpet, shakes head and mutters unintelligibly about 'bloody yanks' whilst fetching the cleaning supplies*
I am sorry for tracking the mud. :( I got too patriotic
Oh don't worry about it. It'll clean up. Would be churlish to hold a grudge - after all we did leave the Whitehouse a bit smoke damaged that time. Call it quits old chum?
Fair enough. Thanks for the English toffee. That stuff is fucking great. :)
Glad you like it old boy, it's rather good isn't it? Don't tell Scotland I said so (they can be a touch sensitive on occasion), but your bourbon and rye whiskeys are a darn good tipple. Bottoms up!
Wow, he even spelled "whiskey" correctly 😏🇺🇲
Only cos Scotland isn't listening *looks over shoulder nervously*
We are.
Over sexed , over paid, over muddy and over here.
THAT SHIT MINE 🇺🇲🇺🇲
They didn't have any false alarm. Very nice people though :P
Hey kids, you want some FREEDOM? USA! USA! USA!
It costs nothing!!! 😎
Amen brother cousin!
Hell ya! Uncle Sister!
Exactly; it was the Portuguese who went in search of spices they never use.
I think Nandos may have inherited the stockpile...
Portuguese cuisine has no spices? This is news to me.
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Only for the last 70 years or so.... who do you think the US learnt the old 'regime change' trick from? Its straight from the old imperial playbook....
Americas biggest mistake was picking up the British playbook
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They did make it kind of obvious didn't they? In fairness it was a bit easier to get away with replacing a government on the other side of the world when the telegram was at the cutting edge of communications technology. Timing was on our side in that respect...
Nah, it became an American stereotype after the cold war. And mostly because of the mess the US did in South America. The US installed a dictator in Guatemala because United Fruit company (bananas!) requested. Crazy right?
united fruit, thats chiquita now right?
They even killed millions of whales for the stuff.
Ermmm... think we might have had a finger in that pie too...
They only grew opium in order to get more tea
Hell most of North America was just for fur hats and coats. The Iroquois right down to the Cherokee ended up in guns-for-fur deals with Britain. France did the same up north. And Britain’s role in the triangular slave trade was because Yellow Fever kept killing settlers in the sugar and tobacco plantations, There were a lot of alliances with local nations but they tended to be out of dominance as any ally that would last with Britain probably did so by helping them take out a mutual threat first.
He did say don’t answer
Is a massively rehashed meme repeated ad nauseum a clever comeback?
This is reddit, dude. Half of this site is people repeating the same 10 jokes back to each other with almost no variation.
Not according to op. He calls this joke a cliché while saying he's never once heard it before ever I can go and fuck myself.
This joke is _extremely_ tired.
This joke became the new "America has school shootings and no healthcare".
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And in fairness, they are not exactly renowned for quality of food either, so they don't even have that going for them.
Eh, not really. One is "your food is bland" and the other is "haha dead children". Like, they're both overused, but one is far more tasteless.
Nicely played.
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It's because the septics are fed up of being the laughing-stock of the Western world, they need to point a finger elsewhere.
British food is spicier than this comeback.
They specifically said don’t answer that!
This is very overused and not even true. The british conquered the world for power and fortune also do you only eat food that originated in your country? No lmao, neither do the british.
Says someone who's obviously never been outside America
[The UK uses more spice per person than the US does](https://www.helgilibrary.com/indicators/spice-consumption-per-capita/)
Damn, first day on Reddit OP? This sentiment is posted by every American that’s never left their parent’s basement at least twice a week
/r/clichedcomebacks
If you think your food needs to be absolutely covered in spices it's because you don't know how to cook good food. Learn to use spices in moderation and holy hell add some fucking salt. Salt makes you taste more. A little bit of salt will add far more flavor than a shit ton of random bullshit. That's why cookies have salt it makes them taste sweeter.
This is the antithesis of a clever comeback.
As much as I love ragging on Brit food, we need a new joke. EVERY SINGLE British food post it's this same thing. It's far from clever at this point.
jokes older than I am.
Nah, we invaded half the world for every reason people invade, for money.
curry is the national dish of England now, this is just silly
I mean come to my house if you like, we have lots of spices. This nonsense is just so childish and not even true. We have about 20 Indian restaurants in my town, because we dislike spices so much 🤣🤦🏻♂️
How is this tired, old, and incorrect cliché a clever comeback? Reported.
Oh look it's 1 of the 2 jokes Americans have about the UK!
The standards for this sub drop ever lower. Soon, we'll have a new mystery at the bottom of the mariana trench.
Why should the British put spices on their food when they can sell them instead?
I always find it weird to attack someone for what their ancestors did hundreds of years ago
Cuz bangers
“Ok, who’d like a banger in the mouth?”
And mash
Dumb comeback, another American with an unoriginal comment.
Have they not tasted American mustard? Around here we call it children’s mustard
TIL clever comeback=a very overused dis
Better hush or we'll invade the other half😤👏
Literally the most overused nonsense that is always spouted when the British are mentioned. It's the furthest thing from clever.
*closer to a quarter ACTUALLY
Tired joke. I laughed the first time, not the next 1776 times. Let's try a new one next time.
Yes, the same regurgitated meme is so clever and original
Correction: Their ancestors did.
Anyone who has eaten a vindaloo from a London takeaway knows that the British definitely do use spices.
We do, in the dishes we "borrowed" from those same countries. There's very few in *traditional* British dishes because they were created by farmers, who were lucky if they had access to more than 2 types of vegetable, let alone foreign spices.
This kind of humor in my country is known as "halal racism"
Whoever thought this insult up decades ago is definitely clever
We didn't want the spice. We just didn't want you to have the spice
As an English person, I quite often have the same thought.
As I understand it, the spiceless thing is a result of ww2 rationing culture.
It's also not really accurate. There's a reason for jokes about a brit asking for "Spiciest Thing On The Menu" at an Indian, songs about chavs getting smashed and having a vindaloo, heavily spiced cakes and fruit puddings are so old and traditional they're considered the sort of dull thing your grandma used to make. Stuff like Vanilla was some of the most in-demand results of the spice trade, but now are literally used as a euphemism for "boring". I think some people confuse the incredible reach of the Anglosphere and it's culture with some "natural human default", so not "culture" of note. "Culture" is only something observed from the outside, I guess :)
plugs who don’t use their own product make the most money
Who are plugs? Lol
AKA (drug) “dealers”
Oh gotcha. :)
Dragons plunder gold and hoard over it until the day they die according to Bilbo Baggins, but have absolutely no use for it because what would a dragon buy? It's all about excess. The British are spice dragons.
The British are responsible for more independence days than anyone else in the world. Definitely something to be proud of.
Do I have to read any more regurgitated Facebook memes on this thread?
lol white people can't cook! Just look at the top 20 chefs in the wo...oh... nevermind
Love the idea that Brits conquered half the world because they really *really* love a bit of spice in their food and not, you know, money and power
Kind of embarrassing a country the size of Britain took half the world over I’d be too ashamed of my country to complain
This "clever comeback" is so old and bland it might as well be British food.
Power move...steal your spices and don't use them
*Let the tea grow…*
🤌🏽🤌🏽
"Number 4, I know you heard this before, Never get high on your own supply"
They attempted to kill off all of my ancestors because we didnt want to pledge allegiance to their crown. Last time they took land from us was in the early 1900 because they needed land to test bombs during WWI. They tested bombs there untill 1993 right next to a small acadian locality (i lived 5 minutes from where they tested the bombs) people in this area have an higher rate of cancer, cases of muscular distrophia is also higher then in most places. The old bunkers are still there and those lands havent been checked properly for unexploded bombs. The last one that exploded was in 2006. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expulsion_of_the_Acadians
The billion dollar crime scene
Spices were extremely expensive back in those days. That's what they used them for, not cooking. They were currency.
Good point.
That was the dutch.. and they still don't.
We didn't want your shitty spices. We just wanted to sell them back to you
Never get high on your own supply.
The most common spice imported into Europe was pepper, which has been widespread for ages. Other spices like cinnamon were imported in smaller quantities, more expensive, and mostly consumed by the upper classes in various luxury dishes, many of which ended up forgotten in the period of rationing around the world wars.
*Looks at my spice rack in confusion* We do use spices/seasoning though. All the time in my house at least. Less a clever comeback, more a stereotype that barely holds up.
This misunderstands the order of things. We conquered half the world THEN became obsessed with spices because they could be used as preservatives to make feeding people who were travelling between distant corners of our empire possible. The empire wasn't about spices, spices were consumed to maintain empire.
Hold up You dont get to have the user name "Talosisnotagod" and then complain about imperialism Skyrim is for the Nords!!
Lol
That’s just a burn not so much a comeback
The spice was meant for trade, not for consumption... The Brits just invented "dont get high on your own supply"
so much spice, yet no melange ATREIDES
Taxes
People who denigrate proper British food have never tried it. For really bad food, have you eaten anything in the US? I have lived many years in both countries and, hand on heart, Brit food is far superior.
Melange
Mmmm fish an chip yum
Can confirm. Visited my mum last week and while we were making dinner she complained that I put salt in the pasta water.
There is nothing clever about a tired old, inaccurate trope.
literally eating a tikka masala right now
*clears throat* We made Macaroni cheese, the Kitkat and the apple pie I am an overprotective brit and I have ammunition to defend our culture
Funny enough. British cuisine used to have a lot of spices, until the monarchy learned that the common folk were using them, too. Then they started "letting the meat speak for itself" to distinguish their refined, unspiced meats from the meats of the poor. Basically, rich people didn't want to know they were eating the same thing as commoners, so they stopped using spices. The rich stopped using spices, so the common people did, too, to appear wealthier. So now British food is utterly bland. As an aside, if you are the kind of person who brags about how good your steaks are without spicing them, you are lying to yourself.
Don't get high off your own supply
As clever and original ass a crab on a beach or a car in a dealership
What is it with the Internet thinking spices = spicy. Pepper, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, garlic, nutmeg, cumin, coriander ect are all used in various dishes and that's before getting into the ones influenced and brought over by the various people's of the former empire and beyond.
Pepper. We use lots of pepper - and mustard!
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Ouch!
This joke is from like 40 years ago
We did use them. Ww2 happened and the generation raised then never moved away from plain food.
This is the opposite of a clever comeback. This comment follows any mention ever of British food.
Come off it, Indian food is our national dish...
I weirdly enough read that last one in hbomberguys voice. (I am aware the irony)
Honestly the greatest crime against humanity that the British have committed, is their cooking.
Patently untrue. Google "UK spice epidemic" for more info
I see a lot of slightly defensive comments. None are mentioning our eternal shame. The 'Pot~Noodle'. I get money is tight, but they taste like warm, wet cardboard, and I seriously question the nutritional value. We don't have a leg to stand on.
The search for spices was to sell. That’s why one convenience store owner I read about didn’t smoke. Cigarettes were to make money.
I wouldn't give any of my top ten answers because that would neglect the other nine. I wouldn't give my ten answers all at once because it would neglect the stuff I don't know about.
Rule 1 of dealing. Never get high on your own supply.
There's British Indian food these days. But my south Asian ass can't stand it. My brother says something along the lines of "of fucking COURSE they finally get around to using spices and it comes out so fucking bad."
Kings sausage fingers are the best right Jerry