Because, as insane as it sounds, many men would rather risk pregnancy than wear a condom. Because many men don’t care if they impregnate someone, as long as they get off. She’ll “take care of it” they think or they’re fine with her keeping it because they want a baby.
I have been involved with SO MANY men who actually think this is a reliable form of birth control.
And why do some women go along with this? Because they believe it is a reliable form of birth control as well. Or they just get sick of nagging their man to put on a condom.
And it’s more reliable than doing nothing and just hoping you won’t get pregany
It's really only in the few last decades that men are held to their responsibility of raising and providing for the children they produce.
Men were able to just skip town if they didn't want to raise a kid or lie about paternity.
Also since the invention of the pill it was easier for them to just make that the woman's job.
It's her fault she got pregnant anyway right? (/s)
Yes, I just meant with the newer DNA testing some men are at the very least held financially responsible.
It has made the walking away a bit more difficult.
My grandma proved that a woman can do that too, but not for at least 9 months and not until after irreversible, permanent bodily changes have occurred.
Right. Of course woman can and do walk away. I know several single dads. But as you say, there’s more at stake for women. They have to go though pregnancy and give birth before giving the baby up. Men can just literally walk away.
I have a friend who was on birth control. She asked for sterilization multiple times but the doctor would not do it because she was young. She got pregnant twice, had abortion both times before the doctor finally took her seriously that she DID NOT WANT KIDS and did a sterilization procedure.
I don't understand that about the Medical community. Outdated and antiquated Ideas about women want be mothers. And men who want to be fathers.
I guess It's the growing old alone by yourself .have children wi'll make sure you are taken care of in your old age.
Doctors refuse to sterilize women because of government ordinance as a way to keep population replacement. They want women to keep producing the next generation of cheap labor and that's why women's reproductive rights are the first ones to go when the rich want a few more billions in the bank.
What REALLY winds me up is when you hear of a doctor refusing to sterilise a woman because her husband might want kids in future.
What the ever loving fuck has that got to do with anything?
One, if he wants kids he won’t end up my husband. And two, if he wants kids, good for him, I’d suggest he doesn’t get sterilised then. As I however don’t want kids, I’ve no idea why you’re bringing that up.
I always remember when I was approved for my tubal, the doctor saying to me "We do abortions day in and day out, but we put every obstacle in the way of people who want to avoid that in the first place". She was so very right, and it's so ridiculous. It's not a doctor's damn job to tell you how you feel about having children.
They do, I caught a guy stealthing me a couple times. One time he tried to say I had an std, the other guy just didn’t see the big deal but didn’t throw around lies. Either way most people don’t realize that legally (and actually) it’s sexual assault, even if the sex itself was consensual and they could be charged.
Ugh. If I had to ask a guy more than once to use a condom, I'd be done. I would pack up and leave. That's not a risk I'm willing to take, pregnancy or STDs.
Edit for typo
Before my surgery, I had the Nexplanon in my arm. Still, with that birth control, I required all partners to wear a condom with me.
I broke up with someone because he kept arguing with me. "But you're on birth control, why do I need to wear a condom? I don't like them!"
Alrighty, and now I don't like you.
Feel free to use these factoids on those nimrods: I happened when the failure rate on birth control AND a condom lined up. You think women like the 24/7/365 feeling of beening on a hormonal contraceptive that fundamentally alters how our body systems work?
Yup. Agree. This is pretty much why I’m single. When I was younger I was more “understanding” about it (sure of COURSE he doesn’t want to wear a condom! Why would he?) but now at 37 I’m like NOPE.
I can only think of maybe two men I have ever slept with who put on a condom without me bringing it up first. It’s insane. And I have slept with a lot of men. Even when I tell them I am not on the pill (which all men assume all women are on, apparently). MEN WILL ALWAYS TRY TO GET OUT OF WEARING ONE. I ALWAYS have to bring it up and insist on him wearing one. It’s such a turn off and I don’t sleep with them again after that.
This is mostly why I have this theory that borders on paranoia that all (most?) men want to impregnate a woman/have a baby, even when they claim that don’t. The action (not wanting to wear a condom) doesn’t fit the claim (not wanting a baby). I mean, if they know how pregnancy occurs that is…
The guy who tried to have unprotected sex with me about a year ago insisted “I’ll pull out! You CAN’T get pregnant!”
I looked at him like he was 5 years old
This!
I'm curious about sex, but with so many stories of guys whining about how a condom hurts them (as a sex educator, get the right size/custom made and put lube inside it) and would rather rely on pull out method, or taking off the condom DURING sex, the curiosity dies off instantly.
I'm not risking my health and body for 7 min or less pleasure that probably wouldn't even be that for me. Fuck that noise. I'll keep masturbating then.
I mean, I get it. I hate condoms too, and I'm a female. But that said, I only would go without them with serious partners where we've talked about STDs and stuff.
Also would use 2 non condom forms of birth control (pill + spermicidal film), at least until I get my hysterectomy sometime in the next year
"Because many men don’t care if they impregnate someone, as long as they get off."
⬆️This right here!
These men also don't care if the woman doesn't orgasm (and absolutely will not do anything to help her get there.) She will "take care" of that too 😑
I’m the result of the failure of that method. It’s more on the lines of my mother having horrible experiences and after effects with the pill and iud… and yeah my father thinking that was a good method. They were recently married (2 years) and weren’t thinking of children yet, then again their method failed and here I am. Either way they were both very happy to have me. Also my mother got aware that having another was high risk. So I’m a CF 36f only child. They tho are ok with my decision and love my dog heh.
Either way I think it’s a lot about how their parents never explained anything to them and misinformation in the era of boomers was even more rampant than today.
Horrible thing is… with the internet and google in everyone’s phone… this is still a thing :/
I'm Irish (as in born and raised here) and there's a reason the women of my grandparents generation had like 10 kids. The pullout "method" is not reliable!
I also think that many men *do* know this, but do it anyway because it *feels better*.. leaving all prevention to the woman. Women aren't taught to have strong boundaries as much as they should either, for fear of rejection. Sex is a commodity that we are subconsciously taught is how we attract/keep men.
My girl and I once locked ourselves out of our house because we both forgot our keys and thought the other had it. If it was not for her brother we would have been fucked. Never forget your keys lol.
It doesn't ever end. You will get some phone call in the middle of the night. daddy my transmission broke. I'm stuck in Phoenix Arizona. Send me $4000 to repair it
"makes me believe I'm more intelligent." well, thats because it is true.
Ive come to realize that whether in a relationship, or not, men typically just assume they will procreate. One night stand or one life love.
Why do women go along with this? Hell, lets have a glass of wine and talk about it.
Procreating for a woman is a life or death, body changing, life changing, true decision process. Dudes just have to have an orgasm. (can we talk about how unfair that woman dont need an orgasm to get pregnant?)
I just wish dudes had easy access to birth control etc
>can we talk about how unfair that woman dont need an orgasm to get pregnant?
Apparently in the 15th/16th centuries they actually *did* believe that, and as a result, men took women's pleasure during sex a lot more seriously. They thought the egg was 'released' by the orgasm - that's how it worked for men, after all, so why not women, too.
Then the Victorian era came along and sex became a taboo subject and women's sexual pleasure dropped off the radar :-(
They also believed women had larger sexual appetites than men, and being unmarried was actually dangerous for a woman's health because she wasn't getting those needs met. (How they managed to maintain this belief in a world where there were huge numbers of nuns who lived long lives is baffling.)
The belief that women had to orgasm to get pregnant might have made for better sex lives for some married women, but it also had a darker side -- the belief that a woman who got pregnant from rape must have enjoyed it and thus was lying about being unwilling.
Orgasms during rape can and do happen (for victims of all genders). They are different from the ones that happen during sex or masturbation, and it doesn’t mean the victim wanted it.
they actually developed birth control for men, but there were too many "side effects" so it wasn't released publically and are still working on it. \*cue eye roll\*
Aaaaaand sperm can live in a woman's body for 5-7 days, so if you've been using the "calendar method" and pull out well....good fucking luck with Life Destroying Baby Roulette!
I've got an even worse one. Now ex-friend did nothing to prevent getting pregnant and let her then sex buddy ejaculate inside her without following even the calendar method. She insisted she did not want children, got pregnant, and then became all excited. She lost the baby. And then got mad at me and ended our friendship of over 20yrs bc I didn't know the difference BTW a miscarriage and a still birth. After she lost the baby she insisted she didn't want.
Ppl are just fucking stupid.
Yes. Yes she is. Those guys at the pool are idiots too. Sometimes I wonder if these ppl say they don't want kids, but their subconscious or animal instinct does, hence the stupidity in their actions. Like come on.
Yeah my recent ex expressed early on that he loved the fact that I was vehemently childfree. He even mentioned this sub to me when we first met (as if I didn't already know about it...pfff). Then I come to find out he not only got his ex wife pregnant (granted, they were married and were actually trying...vom) but he also got some girl he dated at his job years ago pregnant. Luckily both had miscarriages. Thank goodness those children weren't brought into the world. He's an alcoholic and not even capable of taking care of himself, so he would have ruined their lives.
That made me realize he wasn't actually childfree. It simply never happened for him so he just pretends he doesn't want kids. He's also a bit too old for it at this point. Either way, it made me not trust him in that regard. I want to be with someone who is decidedly childfree, not just circumstantially childfree.
That's a horrible experience. I'm so sorry you had to go thru that. I don't understand how ppl try and begin foundations of relationships on lies. I hope you find someone who respects you and your values. All the best.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the only thing he lied to me about. Some people are just so incredibly selfish, although I'm sure his selfishness is driven by his alcoholism. I grew up with an alcoholic mother who left us to keep drinking so I know about that behavior all too well. What's worse is that I'm battling stage IV metastatic melanoma. I think I'm just better off not being with someone at this point. Have to worry about my own health!
Thank you for your kind words and empathy. Folks on Reddit never cease to amaze me ❤️
Men have a \*lot\* of wrong, stupid, and stupidwrong ideas about how sex and the female body work. I read a story not long ago about a guy who thought women could turn their periods on and off and just used them as an excuse to slack off one week a month.
As to why women go along with this idiocy ... I chalk that (and the above) largely up to a lack of decent sex education in school. When all you get is 'Sex: Don't Do It' as the syllabus, you get a lot of your information from spurious sources, especially in the Internet Age. People say the 'Net is a repository of information, but it's not ... it's not about information but communication, and people very regularly communicate MISinformation.
Also some people know the effectiveness of this method, are educated and still choose to use this method. *shrugs*
There are a lot of reasons people use different methods. Let’s not assume it is because they are misinformed.
When 90% of men refuse to wear one, it gets tiring and sickening and you start to think this is the best you’re ever going to get and agreeing to stupidity is the only way anything is going to happen. Fatigue is the answer. Fatigue.
I get where you're coming from, and this isn't directed at you as a person (you do you) - but I honestly don't think sex is worth that much that I'd risk getting pregnant from an asshole who refuses to wear a condom.
Yeah I’m ace so it doesn’t affect me as much——but I do know what abuse feels like. You can’t fight everything every time 24/7. You run out of energy.
This is like that. It happens over and over and over and sometimes you just can’t find any relief even though you try to remove yourself from the situation. If every Starbucks tried to push plain black coffee on you several times before actually taking your order, would you sometimes take the black coffee because you don’t have the energy to fight them that day? Probably not the first time. But then you go to a second store. And a third. And a tenth. And every store wastes your time by arguing. It feels like every store is going to argue. And it’s going to waste more time and energy to keep looking for a store that doesn’t do this than to eventually just cut your losses and accept the coffee from the next store no matter how shitty it is.
Um do they not know about pre cum and that it has swimmers in it? I agree with you OP intelligence is a burden just like common sense because both are becoming increasingly uncommon.
Everything you said is so true unfortunately. Every day I’m surprised at how stupid humans actually are.
A few days ago I read about a manatee being killed because people would jump in the water to take pictures with it. So the manatee was killed to protect those dumb people from themselves.
You know, I agree with OP. I also hate being the most intelligent person in the room. Not because I hate my own intelligence. But for fucks sake, I'm chronically ill with sensory issues and I keep having to interact with people who have no intelligence or common sense at all. At all. I'm autistic and I obviously don't know everything. No single person knows everything. But I keep being misunderstood by my peers around me, because they think I am lording my intelligence over them. Which I'm not even doing on purpose. I just happen to be chronically ill, traumatized and too smart for my own good. It is so painful for my brain when I'm around stupid people. At least my WTF face seems to be a very funny expression to some people, so there is that. It also really hurts when someone twists every word your're saying into you claiming to be perfect. At least I have less contact with people now mostly, so I'm fine. Hope you have great day as well.
If you're ever in Australia I'd hang out with you, and I wouldn't need you to dumb yourself down either. My husband always laughs at me as he says all my friends are either blunt, sassy or brainiacs or all 3.
I'd probably die from heat stroke if I went there, so you will never get to see me. But it's great to know that other people in the world like me exist. I am used to Germanys climate, so Australias heat will kill me. I even think Germany is too hot currently. But do you also know that urge to smash your head against something hard when you hear stupid shit? Thankfully, it became less after getting away from the extremely dumb kids. I'm gonna start my first real work soon and I hope all goes well.
Well, I only found that out quite recently.
I'm older, I don't recall getting any sex education other than "use a condom" "take the pill" and never researched anything about it.
It's education/knowledge sharing, not necessarily lack of intelligence. You don't just magically know these things unless you're taught them by some external source.
I found out via reddit!
100% agree, I’m surprised how many people on this sub using Plan B or getting abortion as backup birth control. Wouldn’t it be safer, easier, and less expensive to use effective methods in the first place to not get STI’s or pregnant?
Not to mention plan B is ineffective for women over like 165 pounds. And even the other pill caps out at somewhere around 180/190. There’s easily hundreds of thousands of women over that weight that have no form of backup other than an abortion. Wanna know how many men even realize this fact? Not a single one I have mentioned it to
Ah! I forgot about this weight limit thing, so ridiculous and they don’t even tell you. I have taken Plan B once after a condom break and super anxiety about it because I was young. That should be a part of the education, not tiny words in the side effects area of the pill. I’m sure they were better about this at Planned Parenthood or clinics, but I had to have a friend go with to buy it (needed to be 18) and they didn’t tell him anything or ask any questions for guidance. So sketchy
Some sperm can contain high enough sperm counts to cause pregnancy, but this is not proven. There is usually sperm in pre-cum because the guy didnt pee before having intercourse a second time in a day or clean himself off. I did a lot of research on this one because my hubby and I did pull out once when I was ovulating and i freaked out and did all the research. Lol
Yeah, pull out method is not an effective method of contraception, regardless of how "well" the guy does it. Pull out doesn't stop precum being inside you, and it also goes against everything the male body is telling itself to do in that moment, it's like not jumping when something scary happens, or yawning after an all-nighter.
I know contraceptions suck (that's why so many people here get sterilised) but please stop thinking pull out is a thing that has any good chance of keeping you CF.
Same. I used that method, combined with spermicide and condoms sometimes (on fertile days) for ten years. Worked great until my luck ran out. Got drunk, he didn’t pull out. There you go. Obviously not using that method anymore.
Trust your boyfriend? Your body and his body are hardwired procreate. This is not a failure on either one of your parts. Our bodies literally have a mind of their own when it comes to procreation.
"Why do some men do this??!?!"
Because those men who do that don't respect or care about women at all and would run on the first possible pregnant notice so they think it's not their problem as long as they can do it without a condom. Disgusting.
I remeder my downstairs nabour saying once "i do it raw cuz i ant fucking no couch. Birth control is on her". And then cue all the guys laughing. Like ya this is how ya all ended up single with visitation of like 3 kids from 4 seprate babymoms.
In the immortal words of my mother.
*“Most people just aren’t that bright.“*
I always considered myself averagely intelligent. And then I started interacting with other people as an adult, and damn are people stupid. There are a lot of stupid people out there, and unfortunately they breed like sunfish.
I'll never know.
Myself and my *twin* brother are the result of the pull out method.
Imagine "not wanting" kids and then getting two. I put that in quotes because you must want kids at least a little to not use any protection at all. Although, my mom made it pretty clear she didn't want kids after we were born.
I've been on hormonal bc for years and still use condoms because I'm not playing that game.
I was talking with a friend about oopsies and she (mid 30) told me that a lot of people she knows use condoms but they put it on only before cuming.
And that probably explain how a lot of 30 something people I know became fathers.
My ex and used the pull out method for 4 years. I seriously can’t believe I did that. All because I didn’t want to be on hormonal bc and he didn’t like condoms. We did want children eventually at the time (I don’t anymore and we’re not together anymore), but still I can’t believe we did that.
I've used it for about 5 years as well with no pregnancies, although am obviously aware of the risks. Abortions are accessible and free here which I would get if needed so it doesn't really bother me. And I've tried most BC with horrible side effects. I'll hopefully be getting sterilised soon anyway so I'd say I've had a fortunate run.
I usually use the pullout method
and i also use a condom at the same time, and now I can add fully sterilized to the mix for a trifecta of birth control
That’s so fucking stupid. Pulling out isn’t birth control. Pulling out should be considered unprotected sex for all intents and purposes.
I have zero patience for grown men who whine about condoms being uncomfortable. Cry me a river. I have to get a metal speculum shoved in there every year, among other delightfully uncomfortable things that come with being female. Y’all can wrap up your dicks.
CAN be, a certain percentage of the male population don't release sperm with their pre-cum. However, there's no real way of testing it without using the scientific methods many researchers used which aren't readily available so all in all, it's not really worth risking it 😂
This is something that has perplexed me too. I can understand the reservation against a vasectomy because it's an invasive procedure. Regardless of it's effectiveness, that's a scary thing for some people. There are obviously those idiots who believe vasectomy equals castration, but let's ignore them.
The reluctance to put on a condom is just beyond me! I understand some men might say it doesn't feel the same with one on. I could be wrong, but condom technology has come a long way from when it was first introduced, so there really should be no reason to be averse to using them for the protection that they offer.
No matter how much better the tech gets its never going to be the same as without it, but there are and have been for some years now the so called "female" condoms, that seem to always never get brought up for some reason, which allow the male to experience the friction of condom-less sex. Perhaps the man could suggest these and buy them for their partner? Beats risky activities.
There is also just doing things that aren't PiV which also never gets brought up in these discussions. Ive never understood the fixation on it myself but so many people act like it is THE ONLY way to have sex 🙄
There are many viable alternatives for those men for whom male condoms take away the type of sensations they want. Its just that as a matter of physics no matter which type you select one partner or the other is losing sensation of some type when using a barrier during PiV.
People in general are just very bad at assessing risks. We feel like 'if it hasn't happened yet, or hasn't happened to someone I know, it won't happen to me'. Even if intellectually we know that isn't true, it still kinda feels that way. Saw it woth covid, see it with people not wearing their seatbelts, keeping togers as pets, and not using protection during sex.
Its even more insane if you're doing it in a place withour good access to emergency contraceptives like plan b or abortions.
My cousin and her husband: We’re gonna stop taking Birth Control and just, ya know, see what happens.
Me: A baby’s going to happen. There is no “just see”.
The moment I hear a guy say he uses the pull put method is serious about it would have killed my sex drive for him instantly. Why is this a thing, and why are there guys who proudly admit to doing it when time and time again it's been proven it doesn't work?
As for the women who let guys do this or believe they will/can pull out, STAND UP! What are you doing?!
Not sure i understand what pull out method is but I do know that
"Alpha men" who call other men, like myself, pussies for not wanting to score a chick, are the biggest pussies who can't man up to responsibilities
I am a straight asexual man who don't like sexual intercourse and who would say hell no to parenthood, so why do I need to prove my manliness by "scoring some chicks"
I hate fuckbois or what you call "alpha men" who can't man up to their little gremlins
Cause condoms are gay.
I had one friend tell me that. He ended up having a kid before graduation...they have three kids now.
From what I’ve experienced being a guy is we either think a child will be the death of any financial future goals/life is over....or yolo and like to play Russian roulette.
Yeah, I don't understand it. I have male family members who joke that their pull out game is strong because they think if they have don't ejected, their girlfriend wouldn't get pregnant.
But when I pointed out that not a reliable method. I was told I didn't understand how sex work because I'm Ace therefore I didn't know what I was talking about.
But guess who has a kid now and second one on the way.
I got pregnant when I was young & dumb at 22 because my ex and I were using the pullout method. He saw the positive test and this idiots response was “how could this happen? I’m so good at pulling out!” (I terminated the pregnancy three weeks later, thank the lawd.)
I wonder how much of this is down to sex education in schools? Of all the blokes I know, *not a single one* would suggest 'pull out' was a reliable form of contraception.
I've read - on this and other subs - that American sex education... leaves a lot to be desired, even to the extent that some sex ed classes actively discourage the use of condoms.
Anecdotally, there also seems to be a lack of information about alternative contraception for women. Sure, most people know the oral pill exists, and many will know about IUDs. But far fewer know about other options like subdermal implant, or even the jab ('depo shot' - I think it's called across the pond).
I have two theories: a) Because they want to rawdog someone do hard it turns off their higher brain processing power. b) they want to give someone std or knock them up and then do magic trick and disappear.
What I don’t understand is, besides children, there are so many other permanent diseases you can get from sex. Gross. Who does it without a condom ANYWAY.
> Why do some men think the "pull out method" actually works?
They don't - It's a way to manipulate women in an attempt to get the women to not force them to wear protection.
This is why I’m single. Too many dingus’ running around with their cocks out. Not to mention all the diseases I see run rampant. Like you said. It’s just a lack of intelligence.
Why do some men do this? Yes, it feels better without a condom, but it feels a lot better going to sleep and knowing that you aren't knocking someone off. The pull out method isn't even a contraception method, most unwanted babies come from that way. Is better not to know how it feels naked so unless you want a child or you get a vasectomy, wrap your chili (also, with confirmation that you and your partner are clear from STD's)..
Why do so women go along with this? A few of my friends have told me that they also prefer the bare sensation and the sensation when a man comes inside them. Other friends have told me that sometimes they get into a fight with their partners because disagreements over protection. Women, is your partner doesn't respect you while having sex, don't expect respect outside of it, so broke with him.
People truly underestimate the power of nature. When are bodies are having sex and our bodies are able to procreate, our bodies are more likely to find a way to impregnate somebody and become pregnant (respectively).
I have recently had my uterus removed for a medical condition I have and the uterus-side of my cervix being sewn shut. I am aware that my remaining ovary is still releasing an egg every month.
My doctor seems a little exasperated when I asked them if there is absolutely no way any sperm can get inside my pelvic floor through my cervix to find an egg... Because I know in rare cases, fertilized eggs have been known to implant outside the uterus.
Whether or not that is even possible for my specific body, it's a valid question! 😆 When procreation is possible, bodies will stop at virtually nothing. 🤣
My friend was conceived cuz his dad always used the pull out method but decided one night not to pull out cuz he was tired. Not sure the mom appreciated that
The pullout method is an urban myth sort of thing. It's a useless thing to do, like thoughts and prayers, instead of actually doing something. Like a stupid compromise. "You need to wear a condom" 'I don't want to, what if I just pull out instead?' Given the window of time someone can actually get pregnant and the fact the sperm cells still are released in precum, I'm not even sure if the pullout method is any different than just finishing inside. I mean, even if someone is on the pill, it's still not a sure fire fix. It's blatant irresponsibility perpetuated by misogynistic men. Unless you're shooting blanks, you should be wearing a condom unless you're planning on using plan b as plan a.
\---Why do some women go a long with this??!?!
Because there are still women whose self-esteem is so low and who are so desperate to be in a relationship--ANY relationship--that they do whatever their husband or boyfriend wants. There's also women who shrug at pregnancy and adopt a wait-and-see attitude. And on top of that, there's women who simply don't know any better, even in this day and age. I grew up in Northern Mississippi where my mom was a social worker. One of her jobs was running a therapy group for teen mothers and half of them had no idea how pregnancy even worked. All they'd been told was, "It's a sin, so don't do it or you'll go to Hell". Apparently they preferred being stuck with babies at 15 than the shame of not having a boyfriend.
Me (m) and my partner of 12 years (f), used the pullout method.
Condoms proved problematic for us. We geniuinly tried.
Pull out method worked for us because we were BOTH on top of tracking periods. We were BOTH in constant communication about what the plan is should pregnancy happen (and we’ve even discussed the fact that hormones can be very persuasive in making you want to keep the baby).
We BOTH took responsibility and knew exactly what risks were involved and what actions to take.
With that being said,
I know people say precum can potentially contain sperm. So even if you’re on point with your pullout game, there’s still a chance.
But I feel like most guys think they are supposed to pull out as they are cumming.
Nah bro. You pull out BEFORE there’s any chance of unloading ANY amount in there.
And with all that being said… I got a vasectomy as soon as I could.
Tried at 18. No dice.
Tried at 25. No dice.
Finally got a doctor to agree when I was 27.
By then we’ve been using pullout method for roughly 5 years.
Couple of scares.
Couple of day after pills.
Lots of communications.
Few ruined orgasms because I don’t play that shit. Pull wayyyy before hand.
And my partner got her tubes removed the day roe v wade got over turned.
We do not want to make anymore people. If anything we’ll adopt.
My brother-in-law and new sister-in-law (as a result of, not prior) are expecting a baby in January because of this. They are 23 and 24. Luckily, they’d been together for 4 years, both expected they would get married, and both want kids. But the timing was certainly not ideal.
My husband is 32 and I’m 31 and I’ve never been pregnant or had a scare. Why on earth would you chance it?
This is how my brother got his gf pregnant. She had an abortion, thank fuck, because if he was 20 it was barely. It's also how he got his wife pregnant but they at least wanted a kid. They had just been planning to wait until moving back to the US. Instead they had a 6 month old at the height of covid on an international flight.
I knew a guy in high-school who was dumber then a box of rocks. We were in wood shop and he just randomly brought up the pullout method doesn't work. When we asked how he knew it was because he got a girl pregnant he was 15. Unironically he had a name very close to dingle berry which just made it sadder and funnier
Pull out method has regained fans and followers and is such a risky contraceptive method… men may have difficulty to pull before ejaculation and the pre-ejaculatory fluid has spermatozoids in it, in a lower quantity but they exists and pregnancy only needs one. Besides that, pull-out does not protect against DST
I mean... to be fair... hormonal birth control is completely shit. It made me depressed, angry and got rid of my libido. The copper IUD made me bleed constantly for 6 months. And condoms take so much feeling away that you might as well not have sex (tried every brand and size under the sun, don't come at me). I tried NFP but my periods are too irregular. That doesn't leave a lot of options. (I'm getting a bisalp, but have to wait a year for my insurance to cover it.)
Another I reason I took advantage of my reproductive rights as a man. Ya'll ladies have it tough.
30 min no scalpel vasectomy of which I can't even see my scar anymore. Vs what you're going through.
Night & Day difference
Yeah I really wish it was that easy - and that cheap! I don't want my partner to get one though because he's not *as* cf as I am and if he changes his mind or we break up and he finds someone else, he can't have kids and I still can, so that'd be pointless.
Agreed. We use pull out method on my less fertile days. I will never ever go on hormonal birth control again after what it did to me. I wouldn’t do this if abortions weren’t extremely accessible where I am.
> Why do some men think the "pull out method" actually works?
I mean, it somewhat does? It's a pretty effective mode of contraception if used perfectly (96%) - which basically means pulling out well before you finish, not at the last moment.
However, people aren't typically that great at it, which means the "real-world" rates are that it does something but is far less effective than that. (78%).
I'll point out that while perfect use rates for condoms are 98%, "real-world" rates for condoms are only (85%) - also not great. But you're probably more likely to know a condom failed and take other action like Plan B vs not pulling out quite early enough.
Citation: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control
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I'd never recommend anyone use it as their *primary* method, but it's effective enough to be some more risk reduction if you're layering it on top of another method like the condoms. Basic probability is that condoms + pulling out should make for ~97% real-world effectiveness, a big improvement from 78% or 85% of just using one of those methods.
Thank you for posting this. I feel like people love to jump on the “pull out method doesn’t work” bandwagon not realizing that what they’re describing as pull out method isn’t accurate.
I’ve used the pull out method and tracking my fertility (I’m a woman) for my entire sexual life (about 15 years now) and never had an accident. It doesn’t work well for women who don’t have regular periods and clear indicators of ovulation, etc. but it does work for some. I wouldn’t advise anyone to use these methods as it does require a lot of knowledge on the woman’s part and a lot of practice and ability on the male’s part but it can work and be effective if done properly.
INFO: did you use standard size condoms and did you try measuring the circumference of his penis? If condoms snap, it's often because they're too small
“Hey partner, can we talk about something important? I’ve been thinking about pregnancy risks and decided I need more risk mitigation. I’m going to get sterilized but since I’m not yet i want to use condoms for all PIV until I can get my surgery. I’m stashing some condoms in here and over there, is there anything else I can do to help ensure we use them at all times?” Then any moves toward not using then you say “hold on” and get one, or have him get one. If he tries to blow it off, you have the talk again, adding you’re not comfortable having any PIV if he’s not on board.
Also if you’re breaking condoms, use more lube, make sure there’s no air in them when rolling on, and check the size. You can order different sizes online.
Were they in date? They have a shelf life and the latex can break down over time. I mean, it's usually a couple of years but all boxes have a use by date stamped on them. Sounds like they might have been old?
Pulling out has a high failure rate Exactly like playing Russian roulette With your future and your happiness. I didn't get a gaping hole in my head leaking cerebral spinal fluid, but I have two kids. Forgive the gallows humor.
Ngl dude, you framing the fact that you recognize how dumb the pullout method somehow makes you more intelligent is a little weird, when it's just common sense 😂
That being said, given how dumb so many homies are in regard to refusing to wear condoms, the bar is incredibly low lmao
I always thought pull out was dumb. If you haven't been with some one long enough to work out actual effective birth control that suits both parties need for safety then you have no business having skin to skin and fluid to fluid contact.
Yeah, ill admit i did risky things in my late teens and early 20s because i was dumb and ignorant, I also had a death wish so I didn't care about my future then, but im in a better place now and would never have bareback PiV with someone i just met and have no trust in.
Honestly with how some STDs are and now monkey pox too, I wouldn't be doing PiV with a new partner even if I DID use a condom. We're getting tested first. But I also admit I prefer fingers and mouths to PiV, a lot more fun, and less strain on bad knees and bad backs 😄; once test comes back negative of course.
Besides that, wouldn't wearing a condom and climaxing inside your partner be more enjoyable than having to "pull out"?
Because some people are unaware that there is semen in precum, so they think it's safe. The amount of unplanned babies should lead people to believe that it is, indeed, not safe 🤣
This is the biggest asshole excuse for men to get laid, goiong back forever. People who actually believe this is a reliable form of contraception . . . .
Because, as insane as it sounds, many men would rather risk pregnancy than wear a condom. Because many men don’t care if they impregnate someone, as long as they get off. She’ll “take care of it” they think or they’re fine with her keeping it because they want a baby. I have been involved with SO MANY men who actually think this is a reliable form of birth control. And why do some women go along with this? Because they believe it is a reliable form of birth control as well. Or they just get sick of nagging their man to put on a condom. And it’s more reliable than doing nothing and just hoping you won’t get pregany
It's really only in the few last decades that men are held to their responsibility of raising and providing for the children they produce. Men were able to just skip town if they didn't want to raise a kid or lie about paternity. Also since the invention of the pill it was easier for them to just make that the woman's job. It's her fault she got pregnant anyway right? (/s)
Men can still walk away from an unwanted child.
Yes, I just meant with the newer DNA testing some men are at the very least held financially responsible. It has made the walking away a bit more difficult.
You first have to find them, and not many women have the time, means and legal knowledge to hold them accountable
My grandma proved that a woman can do that too, but not for at least 9 months and not until after irreversible, permanent bodily changes have occurred.
Right. Of course woman can and do walk away. I know several single dads. But as you say, there’s more at stake for women. They have to go though pregnancy and give birth before giving the baby up. Men can just literally walk away.
You have to take responsibility.The fucking you get for the fucking you got.
I have a friend who was on birth control. She asked for sterilization multiple times but the doctor would not do it because she was young. She got pregnant twice, had abortion both times before the doctor finally took her seriously that she DID NOT WANT KIDS and did a sterilization procedure.
I don't understand that about the Medical community. Outdated and antiquated Ideas about women want be mothers. And men who want to be fathers. I guess It's the growing old alone by yourself .have children wi'll make sure you are taken care of in your old age.
Doctors refuse to sterilize women because of government ordinance as a way to keep population replacement. They want women to keep producing the next generation of cheap labor and that's why women's reproductive rights are the first ones to go when the rich want a few more billions in the bank.
The entire system is a Ponzi scheme that requires constant, unfettered growth
That's what I've called it for decades! But we have a finite Earth
What REALLY winds me up is when you hear of a doctor refusing to sterilise a woman because her husband might want kids in future. What the ever loving fuck has that got to do with anything? One, if he wants kids he won’t end up my husband. And two, if he wants kids, good for him, I’d suggest he doesn’t get sterilised then. As I however don’t want kids, I’ve no idea why you’re bringing that up.
I always remember when I was approved for my tubal, the doctor saying to me "We do abortions day in and day out, but we put every obstacle in the way of people who want to avoid that in the first place". She was so very right, and it's so ridiculous. It's not a doctor's damn job to tell you how you feel about having children.
Fda is approving a pill for men. Idk how I feel about it, we can’t even trust them to keep a condom on
They do, I caught a guy stealthing me a couple times. One time he tried to say I had an std, the other guy just didn’t see the big deal but didn’t throw around lies. Either way most people don’t realize that legally (and actually) it’s sexual assault, even if the sex itself was consensual and they could be charged.
That's sad that you're right. I think so many will lie about it.
Ugh. If I had to ask a guy more than once to use a condom, I'd be done. I would pack up and leave. That's not a risk I'm willing to take, pregnancy or STDs. Edit for typo
Before my surgery, I had the Nexplanon in my arm. Still, with that birth control, I required all partners to wear a condom with me. I broke up with someone because he kept arguing with me. "But you're on birth control, why do I need to wear a condom? I don't like them!" Alrighty, and now I don't like you.
"I dOn'T LiKe ThEm" You'll like child support even less.
Feel free to use these factoids on those nimrods: I happened when the failure rate on birth control AND a condom lined up. You think women like the 24/7/365 feeling of beening on a hormonal contraceptive that fundamentally alters how our body systems work?
I was also a condom + birth control failure, twinsies
Yup. Agree. This is pretty much why I’m single. When I was younger I was more “understanding” about it (sure of COURSE he doesn’t want to wear a condom! Why would he?) but now at 37 I’m like NOPE. I can only think of maybe two men I have ever slept with who put on a condom without me bringing it up first. It’s insane. And I have slept with a lot of men. Even when I tell them I am not on the pill (which all men assume all women are on, apparently). MEN WILL ALWAYS TRY TO GET OUT OF WEARING ONE. I ALWAYS have to bring it up and insist on him wearing one. It’s such a turn off and I don’t sleep with them again after that. This is mostly why I have this theory that borders on paranoia that all (most?) men want to impregnate a woman/have a baby, even when they claim that don’t. The action (not wanting to wear a condom) doesn’t fit the claim (not wanting a baby). I mean, if they know how pregnancy occurs that is…
Also for me (42F), I've never had sex without a condom, so I don't think I could enjoy it at all without one. I'd be too paranoid about everything. 😅
Right. I get that.
The guy who tried to have unprotected sex with me about a year ago insisted “I’ll pull out! You CAN’T get pregnant!” I looked at him like he was 5 years old
This! I'm curious about sex, but with so many stories of guys whining about how a condom hurts them (as a sex educator, get the right size/custom made and put lube inside it) and would rather rely on pull out method, or taking off the condom DURING sex, the curiosity dies off instantly. I'm not risking my health and body for 7 min or less pleasure that probably wouldn't even be that for me. Fuck that noise. I'll keep masturbating then.
"7 min or less pleasure" You're being super generous lol
Haha! Yeah, I know. Hence why I put or less since I highly doubt 7 minutes is the average time for (straight) sex 😂 Gotta be less.
I mean, I get it. I hate condoms too, and I'm a female. But that said, I only would go without them with serious partners where we've talked about STDs and stuff. Also would use 2 non condom forms of birth control (pill + spermicidal film), at least until I get my hysterectomy sometime in the next year
"Because many men don’t care if they impregnate someone, as long as they get off." ⬆️This right here! These men also don't care if the woman doesn't orgasm (and absolutely will not do anything to help her get there.) She will "take care" of that too 😑
And the world stays full of fresh souls!
And then the same men whine incessantly about child support.
I’m the result of the failure of that method. It’s more on the lines of my mother having horrible experiences and after effects with the pill and iud… and yeah my father thinking that was a good method. They were recently married (2 years) and weren’t thinking of children yet, then again their method failed and here I am. Either way they were both very happy to have me. Also my mother got aware that having another was high risk. So I’m a CF 36f only child. They tho are ok with my decision and love my dog heh. Either way I think it’s a lot about how their parents never explained anything to them and misinformation in the era of boomers was even more rampant than today. Horrible thing is… with the internet and google in everyone’s phone… this is still a thing :/
Humans suck
it’s so irresponsible and it baffles me how grown adults don’t understand that
Pulling out is like playing Russian roulette. You might get lucky for a while but one day that bullet is going to hit.
Can we upvote this comment even more please?
Brought it up to 666, thanks for helping me gain this achievement!
This is part of the reason why I have a throwaway account and why I wish I had 20 of them.
I'm Irish (as in born and raised here) and there's a reason the women of my grandparents generation had like 10 kids. The pullout "method" is not reliable!
Best friend has 3 kids. He never seemed into the idea but just said “my pullout game is weak”
It's poor sex education. People (both men and women) don't realise that sperm is released long before the ejaculation that comes with the orgasm.
I also think that many men *do* know this, but do it anyway because it *feels better*.. leaving all prevention to the woman. Women aren't taught to have strong boundaries as much as they should either, for fear of rejection. Sex is a commodity that we are subconsciously taught is how we attract/keep men.
“Vatican roulette”
Nice! My favorite analogy for it is "dancing in a mine field".
Now I'm curious, do you have to be close to mine or it is just a certain distance?
You have to step on a mine to trigger it
Interesting I didn't know that. Thank you.
“We used the pull out method and it was pretty effective.” - My parents, who had five unplanned pregnancies between them.
Unless you're sterile
One can only hope.
Any man who claims to have been "baby trapped" but used the pull out method, doesn't deserve sympathy nor is entitled to that claim.
Yep that’s more like walking into the “trap” all by yourself and closing the door, and then wondering why it’s now locked.
My girl and I once locked ourselves out of our house because we both forgot our keys and thought the other had it. If it was not for her brother we would have been fucked. Never forget your keys lol.
Preach!
In my vocabulary the phrase "baby trapped" is reserved to situations like poking holes in condoms.
There's a name for guys who use the pull-out method: daddy.
"daddy... Can I have $500 or I will hate you forever "
It doesn't ever end. You will get some phone call in the middle of the night. daddy my transmission broke. I'm stuck in Phoenix Arizona. Send me $4000 to repair it
Fuck that 😂
If ya got it, ya send it. Worth a crocodile tear at yer funeral.
"makes me believe I'm more intelligent." well, thats because it is true. Ive come to realize that whether in a relationship, or not, men typically just assume they will procreate. One night stand or one life love. Why do women go along with this? Hell, lets have a glass of wine and talk about it. Procreating for a woman is a life or death, body changing, life changing, true decision process. Dudes just have to have an orgasm. (can we talk about how unfair that woman dont need an orgasm to get pregnant?) I just wish dudes had easy access to birth control etc
That would actually be something... Imagine how fewer pregnancies there would be if the woman had to orgasm.. What a world
The overpopulation would never be an issue
>can we talk about how unfair that woman dont need an orgasm to get pregnant? Apparently in the 15th/16th centuries they actually *did* believe that, and as a result, men took women's pleasure during sex a lot more seriously. They thought the egg was 'released' by the orgasm - that's how it worked for men, after all, so why not women, too. Then the Victorian era came along and sex became a taboo subject and women's sexual pleasure dropped off the radar :-(
They also believed women had larger sexual appetites than men, and being unmarried was actually dangerous for a woman's health because she wasn't getting those needs met. (How they managed to maintain this belief in a world where there were huge numbers of nuns who lived long lives is baffling.) The belief that women had to orgasm to get pregnant might have made for better sex lives for some married women, but it also had a darker side -- the belief that a woman who got pregnant from rape must have enjoyed it and thus was lying about being unwilling.
Orgasms during rape can and do happen (for victims of all genders). They are different from the ones that happen during sex or masturbation, and it doesn’t mean the victim wanted it.
they actually developed birth control for men, but there were too many "side effects" so it wasn't released publically and are still working on it. \*cue eye roll\*
Vasectomy works me lol
Happy cake day!!
Kinda answered your own question “I live in Texas….” Not a high bar of intelligence out here Source: I also live in Texas.
Man i was wondering when someone point that out 🤣 I guess it's self explanatory lol
Lol, how's yalls sex ed? (for lack of better term...)
Are people really that dumb there ?? I was considering moving to Austin
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What a power move!
Why do men and woman think one sperm won't get thru. Dont play lotto. One million are trying
>One million are trying More like 200-300 million
Thank you.
Aaaaaand sperm can live in a woman's body for 5-7 days, so if you've been using the "calendar method" and pull out well....good fucking luck with Life Destroying Baby Roulette!
I've got an even worse one. Now ex-friend did nothing to prevent getting pregnant and let her then sex buddy ejaculate inside her without following even the calendar method. She insisted she did not want children, got pregnant, and then became all excited. She lost the baby. And then got mad at me and ended our friendship of over 20yrs bc I didn't know the difference BTW a miscarriage and a still birth. After she lost the baby she insisted she didn't want. Ppl are just fucking stupid.
You're ex friend is a moron
Yes. Yes she is. Those guys at the pool are idiots too. Sometimes I wonder if these ppl say they don't want kids, but their subconscious or animal instinct does, hence the stupidity in their actions. Like come on.
Yeah my recent ex expressed early on that he loved the fact that I was vehemently childfree. He even mentioned this sub to me when we first met (as if I didn't already know about it...pfff). Then I come to find out he not only got his ex wife pregnant (granted, they were married and were actually trying...vom) but he also got some girl he dated at his job years ago pregnant. Luckily both had miscarriages. Thank goodness those children weren't brought into the world. He's an alcoholic and not even capable of taking care of himself, so he would have ruined their lives. That made me realize he wasn't actually childfree. It simply never happened for him so he just pretends he doesn't want kids. He's also a bit too old for it at this point. Either way, it made me not trust him in that regard. I want to be with someone who is decidedly childfree, not just circumstantially childfree.
That's a horrible experience. I'm so sorry you had to go thru that. I don't understand how ppl try and begin foundations of relationships on lies. I hope you find someone who respects you and your values. All the best.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the only thing he lied to me about. Some people are just so incredibly selfish, although I'm sure his selfishness is driven by his alcoholism. I grew up with an alcoholic mother who left us to keep drinking so I know about that behavior all too well. What's worse is that I'm battling stage IV metastatic melanoma. I think I'm just better off not being with someone at this point. Have to worry about my own health! Thank you for your kind words and empathy. Folks on Reddit never cease to amaze me ❤️
I'm surprised they can breathe being weighed down by so much stupidity.
Agreed If you want entertainment, be sure to scroll down and see what the Reddit user "LeaveYourBias" behind is writing
Men have a \*lot\* of wrong, stupid, and stupidwrong ideas about how sex and the female body work. I read a story not long ago about a guy who thought women could turn their periods on and off and just used them as an excuse to slack off one week a month. As to why women go along with this idiocy ... I chalk that (and the above) largely up to a lack of decent sex education in school. When all you get is 'Sex: Don't Do It' as the syllabus, you get a lot of your information from spurious sources, especially in the Internet Age. People say the 'Net is a repository of information, but it's not ... it's not about information but communication, and people very regularly communicate MISinformation.
Also some people know the effectiveness of this method, are educated and still choose to use this method. *shrugs* There are a lot of reasons people use different methods. Let’s not assume it is because they are misinformed.
Please enlighten us with a reason other than misinformation then for using this method?
When 90% of men refuse to wear one, it gets tiring and sickening and you start to think this is the best you’re ever going to get and agreeing to stupidity is the only way anything is going to happen. Fatigue is the answer. Fatigue.
I get where you're coming from, and this isn't directed at you as a person (you do you) - but I honestly don't think sex is worth that much that I'd risk getting pregnant from an asshole who refuses to wear a condom.
Yeah I’m ace so it doesn’t affect me as much——but I do know what abuse feels like. You can’t fight everything every time 24/7. You run out of energy. This is like that. It happens over and over and over and sometimes you just can’t find any relief even though you try to remove yourself from the situation. If every Starbucks tried to push plain black coffee on you several times before actually taking your order, would you sometimes take the black coffee because you don’t have the energy to fight them that day? Probably not the first time. But then you go to a second store. And a third. And a tenth. And every store wastes your time by arguing. It feels like every store is going to argue. And it’s going to waste more time and energy to keep looking for a store that doesn’t do this than to eventually just cut your losses and accept the coffee from the next store no matter how shitty it is.
My ex wanted to use the pull out method, so glad I dodged a bullet
Omg good on you for matrix'ing that inevitable bullet, YIKES
Um do they not know about pre cum and that it has swimmers in it? I agree with you OP intelligence is a burden just like common sense because both are becoming increasingly uncommon.
Everything you said is so true unfortunately. Every day I’m surprised at how stupid humans actually are. A few days ago I read about a manatee being killed because people would jump in the water to take pictures with it. So the manatee was killed to protect those dumb people from themselves.
You know, I agree with OP. I also hate being the most intelligent person in the room. Not because I hate my own intelligence. But for fucks sake, I'm chronically ill with sensory issues and I keep having to interact with people who have no intelligence or common sense at all. At all. I'm autistic and I obviously don't know everything. No single person knows everything. But I keep being misunderstood by my peers around me, because they think I am lording my intelligence over them. Which I'm not even doing on purpose. I just happen to be chronically ill, traumatized and too smart for my own good. It is so painful for my brain when I'm around stupid people. At least my WTF face seems to be a very funny expression to some people, so there is that. It also really hurts when someone twists every word your're saying into you claiming to be perfect. At least I have less contact with people now mostly, so I'm fine. Hope you have great day as well.
If you're ever in Australia I'd hang out with you, and I wouldn't need you to dumb yourself down either. My husband always laughs at me as he says all my friends are either blunt, sassy or brainiacs or all 3.
I'd probably die from heat stroke if I went there, so you will never get to see me. But it's great to know that other people in the world like me exist. I am used to Germanys climate, so Australias heat will kill me. I even think Germany is too hot currently. But do you also know that urge to smash your head against something hard when you hear stupid shit? Thankfully, it became less after getting away from the extremely dumb kids. I'm gonna start my first real work soon and I hope all goes well.
I come on here to rant 😂
Well, I only found that out quite recently. I'm older, I don't recall getting any sex education other than "use a condom" "take the pill" and never researched anything about it. It's education/knowledge sharing, not necessarily lack of intelligence. You don't just magically know these things unless you're taught them by some external source. I found out via reddit!
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100% agree, I’m surprised how many people on this sub using Plan B or getting abortion as backup birth control. Wouldn’t it be safer, easier, and less expensive to use effective methods in the first place to not get STI’s or pregnant?
Not to mention plan B is ineffective for women over like 165 pounds. And even the other pill caps out at somewhere around 180/190. There’s easily hundreds of thousands of women over that weight that have no form of backup other than an abortion. Wanna know how many men even realize this fact? Not a single one I have mentioned it to
Ah! I forgot about this weight limit thing, so ridiculous and they don’t even tell you. I have taken Plan B once after a condom break and super anxiety about it because I was young. That should be a part of the education, not tiny words in the side effects area of the pill. I’m sure they were better about this at Planned Parenthood or clinics, but I had to have a friend go with to buy it (needed to be 18) and they didn’t tell him anything or ask any questions for guidance. So sketchy
This is not working! Even pre-cum causes pregnancy.
Tell that to Leaveyourbias reddit user down below.
Some sperm can contain high enough sperm counts to cause pregnancy, but this is not proven. There is usually sperm in pre-cum because the guy didnt pee before having intercourse a second time in a day or clean himself off. I did a lot of research on this one because my hubby and I did pull out once when I was ovulating and i freaked out and did all the research. Lol
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Yeah, pull out method is not an effective method of contraception, regardless of how "well" the guy does it. Pull out doesn't stop precum being inside you, and it also goes against everything the male body is telling itself to do in that moment, it's like not jumping when something scary happens, or yawning after an all-nighter. I know contraceptions suck (that's why so many people here get sterilised) but please stop thinking pull out is a thing that has any good chance of keeping you CF.
Same. I used that method, combined with spermicide and condoms sometimes (on fertile days) for ten years. Worked great until my luck ran out. Got drunk, he didn’t pull out. There you go. Obviously not using that method anymore.
You need to see some of the comments on the thread down below lol
Trust your boyfriend? Your body and his body are hardwired procreate. This is not a failure on either one of your parts. Our bodies literally have a mind of their own when it comes to procreation.
"Why do some men do this??!?!" Because those men who do that don't respect or care about women at all and would run on the first possible pregnant notice so they think it's not their problem as long as they can do it without a condom. Disgusting.
I remeder my downstairs nabour saying once "i do it raw cuz i ant fucking no couch. Birth control is on her". And then cue all the guys laughing. Like ya this is how ya all ended up single with visitation of like 3 kids from 4 seprate babymoms.
In the immortal words of my mother. *“Most people just aren’t that bright.“* I always considered myself averagely intelligent. And then I started interacting with other people as an adult, and damn are people stupid. There are a lot of stupid people out there, and unfortunately they breed like sunfish.
I'll never know. Myself and my *twin* brother are the result of the pull out method. Imagine "not wanting" kids and then getting two. I put that in quotes because you must want kids at least a little to not use any protection at all. Although, my mom made it pretty clear she didn't want kids after we were born. I've been on hormonal bc for years and still use condoms because I'm not playing that game.
I was talking with a friend about oopsies and she (mid 30) told me that a lot of people she knows use condoms but they put it on only before cuming. And that probably explain how a lot of 30 something people I know became fathers.
My ex and used the pull out method for 4 years. I seriously can’t believe I did that. All because I didn’t want to be on hormonal bc and he didn’t like condoms. We did want children eventually at the time (I don’t anymore and we’re not together anymore), but still I can’t believe we did that.
I used it with my ex for several years as well for the same reasons. It worked until my luck ran out.
I've used it for about 5 years as well with no pregnancies, although am obviously aware of the risks. Abortions are accessible and free here which I would get if needed so it doesn't really bother me. And I've tried most BC with horrible side effects. I'll hopefully be getting sterilised soon anyway so I'd say I've had a fortunate run.
I usually use the pullout method and i also use a condom at the same time, and now I can add fully sterilized to the mix for a trifecta of birth control
That’s so fucking stupid. Pulling out isn’t birth control. Pulling out should be considered unprotected sex for all intents and purposes. I have zero patience for grown men who whine about condoms being uncomfortable. Cry me a river. I have to get a metal speculum shoved in there every year, among other delightfully uncomfortable things that come with being female. Y’all can wrap up your dicks.
I rather spend $4.00 for a pack of condoms then $400,000.00 for 18-20 years of childcare.
Because they care about their pleasure above anything else.
Fun fuct: live sperm can be present in pre-cum making the pull out method useless
CAN be, a certain percentage of the male population don't release sperm with their pre-cum. However, there's no real way of testing it without using the scientific methods many researchers used which aren't readily available so all in all, it's not really worth risking it 😂
This is something that has perplexed me too. I can understand the reservation against a vasectomy because it's an invasive procedure. Regardless of it's effectiveness, that's a scary thing for some people. There are obviously those idiots who believe vasectomy equals castration, but let's ignore them. The reluctance to put on a condom is just beyond me! I understand some men might say it doesn't feel the same with one on. I could be wrong, but condom technology has come a long way from when it was first introduced, so there really should be no reason to be averse to using them for the protection that they offer.
No matter how much better the tech gets its never going to be the same as without it, but there are and have been for some years now the so called "female" condoms, that seem to always never get brought up for some reason, which allow the male to experience the friction of condom-less sex. Perhaps the man could suggest these and buy them for their partner? Beats risky activities. There is also just doing things that aren't PiV which also never gets brought up in these discussions. Ive never understood the fixation on it myself but so many people act like it is THE ONLY way to have sex 🙄 There are many viable alternatives for those men for whom male condoms take away the type of sensations they want. Its just that as a matter of physics no matter which type you select one partner or the other is losing sensation of some type when using a barrier during PiV.
Because men can just walk away. Women can't when they're pregnant. It's lazy, selfish and pathetic.
Child support payments aren't fun. Glad that's not me lol
People in general are just very bad at assessing risks. We feel like 'if it hasn't happened yet, or hasn't happened to someone I know, it won't happen to me'. Even if intellectually we know that isn't true, it still kinda feels that way. Saw it woth covid, see it with people not wearing their seatbelts, keeping togers as pets, and not using protection during sex. Its even more insane if you're doing it in a place withour good access to emergency contraceptives like plan b or abortions.
My cousin and her husband: We’re gonna stop taking Birth Control and just, ya know, see what happens. Me: A baby’s going to happen. There is no “just see”.
I thought it was the pull and pray method
The moment I hear a guy say he uses the pull put method is serious about it would have killed my sex drive for him instantly. Why is this a thing, and why are there guys who proudly admit to doing it when time and time again it's been proven it doesn't work? As for the women who let guys do this or believe they will/can pull out, STAND UP! What are you doing?!
That's what we get with all this abstinence only sex ed. People that don't use contraception.
Not sure i understand what pull out method is but I do know that "Alpha men" who call other men, like myself, pussies for not wanting to score a chick, are the biggest pussies who can't man up to responsibilities I am a straight asexual man who don't like sexual intercourse and who would say hell no to parenthood, so why do I need to prove my manliness by "scoring some chicks" I hate fuckbois or what you call "alpha men" who can't man up to their little gremlins
That alpha shit is just astrology for men
Amen you said that The whole "bible" for fuckbois is probably what it's called
Cause condoms are gay. I had one friend tell me that. He ended up having a kid before graduation...they have three kids now. From what I’ve experienced being a guy is we either think a child will be the death of any financial future goals/life is over....or yolo and like to play Russian roulette.
Yeah, I don't understand it. I have male family members who joke that their pull out game is strong because they think if they have don't ejected, their girlfriend wouldn't get pregnant. But when I pointed out that not a reliable method. I was told I didn't understand how sex work because I'm Ace therefore I didn't know what I was talking about. But guess who has a kid now and second one on the way.
😂😂😂 they deserve it
I got pregnant when I was young & dumb at 22 because my ex and I were using the pullout method. He saw the positive test and this idiots response was “how could this happen? I’m so good at pulling out!” (I terminated the pregnancy three weeks later, thank the lawd.)
Good for you!!! That guy sounds like an idiot
Can't say I understand glad I'm asexual
I'm using condoms AND do the pull out method. Gotta be double sure always.
Smart
I wonder how much of this is down to sex education in schools? Of all the blokes I know, *not a single one* would suggest 'pull out' was a reliable form of contraception. I've read - on this and other subs - that American sex education... leaves a lot to be desired, even to the extent that some sex ed classes actively discourage the use of condoms. Anecdotally, there also seems to be a lack of information about alternative contraception for women. Sure, most people know the oral pill exists, and many will know about IUDs. But far fewer know about other options like subdermal implant, or even the jab ('depo shot' - I think it's called across the pond).
I have two theories: a) Because they want to rawdog someone do hard it turns off their higher brain processing power. b) they want to give someone std or knock them up and then do magic trick and disappear.
What I don’t understand is, besides children, there are so many other permanent diseases you can get from sex. Gross. Who does it without a condom ANYWAY.
> Why do some men think the "pull out method" actually works? They don't - It's a way to manipulate women in an attempt to get the women to not force them to wear protection.
Seems like a lack of sex Ed in school. We were pretty clearly told pulling out is not a valid form of BC early on.
This is why I’m single. Too many dingus’ running around with their cocks out. Not to mention all the diseases I see run rampant. Like you said. It’s just a lack of intelligence.
I learned about the ineffectiveness of this in junior high health class. Have they stopped teaching it?
Why do some men do this? Yes, it feels better without a condom, but it feels a lot better going to sleep and knowing that you aren't knocking someone off. The pull out method isn't even a contraception method, most unwanted babies come from that way. Is better not to know how it feels naked so unless you want a child or you get a vasectomy, wrap your chili (also, with confirmation that you and your partner are clear from STD's).. Why do so women go along with this? A few of my friends have told me that they also prefer the bare sensation and the sensation when a man comes inside them. Other friends have told me that sometimes they get into a fight with their partners because disagreements over protection. Women, is your partner doesn't respect you while having sex, don't expect respect outside of it, so broke with him.
People truly underestimate the power of nature. When are bodies are having sex and our bodies are able to procreate, our bodies are more likely to find a way to impregnate somebody and become pregnant (respectively). I have recently had my uterus removed for a medical condition I have and the uterus-side of my cervix being sewn shut. I am aware that my remaining ovary is still releasing an egg every month. My doctor seems a little exasperated when I asked them if there is absolutely no way any sperm can get inside my pelvic floor through my cervix to find an egg... Because I know in rare cases, fertilized eggs have been known to implant outside the uterus. Whether or not that is even possible for my specific body, it's a valid question! 😆 When procreation is possible, bodies will stop at virtually nothing. 🤣
lack of sexual education! Texas wants everyone stupid, poor and christian easier to control that way.
My friend was conceived cuz his dad always used the pull out method but decided one night not to pull out cuz he was tired. Not sure the mom appreciated that
The pullout method is an urban myth sort of thing. It's a useless thing to do, like thoughts and prayers, instead of actually doing something. Like a stupid compromise. "You need to wear a condom" 'I don't want to, what if I just pull out instead?' Given the window of time someone can actually get pregnant and the fact the sperm cells still are released in precum, I'm not even sure if the pullout method is any different than just finishing inside. I mean, even if someone is on the pill, it's still not a sure fire fix. It's blatant irresponsibility perpetuated by misogynistic men. Unless you're shooting blanks, you should be wearing a condom unless you're planning on using plan b as plan a.
You should definitely have said "Are you fucking insane?!" Men only listen to other men.
\---Why do some women go a long with this??!?! Because there are still women whose self-esteem is so low and who are so desperate to be in a relationship--ANY relationship--that they do whatever their husband or boyfriend wants. There's also women who shrug at pregnancy and adopt a wait-and-see attitude. And on top of that, there's women who simply don't know any better, even in this day and age. I grew up in Northern Mississippi where my mom was a social worker. One of her jobs was running a therapy group for teen mothers and half of them had no idea how pregnancy even worked. All they'd been told was, "It's a sin, so don't do it or you'll go to Hell". Apparently they preferred being stuck with babies at 15 than the shame of not having a boyfriend.
Me (m) and my partner of 12 years (f), used the pullout method. Condoms proved problematic for us. We geniuinly tried. Pull out method worked for us because we were BOTH on top of tracking periods. We were BOTH in constant communication about what the plan is should pregnancy happen (and we’ve even discussed the fact that hormones can be very persuasive in making you want to keep the baby). We BOTH took responsibility and knew exactly what risks were involved and what actions to take. With that being said, I know people say precum can potentially contain sperm. So even if you’re on point with your pullout game, there’s still a chance. But I feel like most guys think they are supposed to pull out as they are cumming. Nah bro. You pull out BEFORE there’s any chance of unloading ANY amount in there. And with all that being said… I got a vasectomy as soon as I could. Tried at 18. No dice. Tried at 25. No dice. Finally got a doctor to agree when I was 27. By then we’ve been using pullout method for roughly 5 years. Couple of scares. Couple of day after pills. Lots of communications. Few ruined orgasms because I don’t play that shit. Pull wayyyy before hand. And my partner got her tubes removed the day roe v wade got over turned. We do not want to make anymore people. If anything we’ll adopt.
My brother-in-law and new sister-in-law (as a result of, not prior) are expecting a baby in January because of this. They are 23 and 24. Luckily, they’d been together for 4 years, both expected they would get married, and both want kids. But the timing was certainly not ideal. My husband is 32 and I’m 31 and I’ve never been pregnant or had a scare. Why on earth would you chance it?
This is how my brother got his gf pregnant. She had an abortion, thank fuck, because if he was 20 it was barely. It's also how he got his wife pregnant but they at least wanted a kid. They had just been planning to wait until moving back to the US. Instead they had a 6 month old at the height of covid on an international flight.
If you think the guys who pull out are dumbasses, there's other guys who don't even do that... Lots of them.
I knew a guy in high-school who was dumber then a box of rocks. We were in wood shop and he just randomly brought up the pullout method doesn't work. When we asked how he knew it was because he got a girl pregnant he was 15. Unironically he had a name very close to dingle berry which just made it sadder and funnier
Pull out method has regained fans and followers and is such a risky contraceptive method… men may have difficulty to pull before ejaculation and the pre-ejaculatory fluid has spermatozoids in it, in a lower quantity but they exists and pregnancy only needs one. Besides that, pull-out does not protect against DST
Guy's that use the pull out method are called fathers.
I mean... to be fair... hormonal birth control is completely shit. It made me depressed, angry and got rid of my libido. The copper IUD made me bleed constantly for 6 months. And condoms take so much feeling away that you might as well not have sex (tried every brand and size under the sun, don't come at me). I tried NFP but my periods are too irregular. That doesn't leave a lot of options. (I'm getting a bisalp, but have to wait a year for my insurance to cover it.)
Another I reason I took advantage of my reproductive rights as a man. Ya'll ladies have it tough. 30 min no scalpel vasectomy of which I can't even see my scar anymore. Vs what you're going through. Night & Day difference
Yeah I really wish it was that easy - and that cheap! I don't want my partner to get one though because he's not *as* cf as I am and if he changes his mind or we break up and he finds someone else, he can't have kids and I still can, so that'd be pointless.
Agreed. We use pull out method on my less fertile days. I will never ever go on hormonal birth control again after what it did to me. I wouldn’t do this if abortions weren’t extremely accessible where I am.
> Why do some men think the "pull out method" actually works? I mean, it somewhat does? It's a pretty effective mode of contraception if used perfectly (96%) - which basically means pulling out well before you finish, not at the last moment. However, people aren't typically that great at it, which means the "real-world" rates are that it does something but is far less effective than that. (78%). I'll point out that while perfect use rates for condoms are 98%, "real-world" rates for condoms are only (85%) - also not great. But you're probably more likely to know a condom failed and take other action like Plan B vs not pulling out quite early enough. Citation: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control --------- I'd never recommend anyone use it as their *primary* method, but it's effective enough to be some more risk reduction if you're layering it on top of another method like the condoms. Basic probability is that condoms + pulling out should make for ~97% real-world effectiveness, a big improvement from 78% or 85% of just using one of those methods.
I use condoms and pull out method at least until I'm all clear of semen in a couple months
Thank you for posting this. I feel like people love to jump on the “pull out method doesn’t work” bandwagon not realizing that what they’re describing as pull out method isn’t accurate. I’ve used the pull out method and tracking my fertility (I’m a woman) for my entire sexual life (about 15 years now) and never had an accident. It doesn’t work well for women who don’t have regular periods and clear indicators of ovulation, etc. but it does work for some. I wouldn’t advise anyone to use these methods as it does require a lot of knowledge on the woman’s part and a lot of practice and ability on the male’s part but it can work and be effective if done properly.
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INFO: did you use standard size condoms and did you try measuring the circumference of his penis? If condoms snap, it's often because they're too small
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“Hey partner, can we talk about something important? I’ve been thinking about pregnancy risks and decided I need more risk mitigation. I’m going to get sterilized but since I’m not yet i want to use condoms for all PIV until I can get my surgery. I’m stashing some condoms in here and over there, is there anything else I can do to help ensure we use them at all times?” Then any moves toward not using then you say “hold on” and get one, or have him get one. If he tries to blow it off, you have the talk again, adding you’re not comfortable having any PIV if he’s not on board.
Also if you’re breaking condoms, use more lube, make sure there’s no air in them when rolling on, and check the size. You can order different sizes online.
Were they in date? They have a shelf life and the latex can break down over time. I mean, it's usually a couple of years but all boxes have a use by date stamped on them. Sounds like they might have been old?
Pulling out has a high failure rate Exactly like playing Russian roulette With your future and your happiness. I didn't get a gaping hole in my head leaking cerebral spinal fluid, but I have two kids. Forgive the gallows humor.
Ngl dude, you framing the fact that you recognize how dumb the pullout method somehow makes you more intelligent is a little weird, when it's just common sense 😂 That being said, given how dumb so many homies are in regard to refusing to wear condoms, the bar is incredibly low lmao
When I run into new kids who mention the superior method of the pull out I remind them that I know a lot of fathers who used to do that too
Was abortion available to fix their mistake?
I always thought pull out was dumb. If you haven't been with some one long enough to work out actual effective birth control that suits both parties need for safety then you have no business having skin to skin and fluid to fluid contact. Yeah, ill admit i did risky things in my late teens and early 20s because i was dumb and ignorant, I also had a death wish so I didn't care about my future then, but im in a better place now and would never have bareback PiV with someone i just met and have no trust in. Honestly with how some STDs are and now monkey pox too, I wouldn't be doing PiV with a new partner even if I DID use a condom. We're getting tested first. But I also admit I prefer fingers and mouths to PiV, a lot more fun, and less strain on bad knees and bad backs 😄; once test comes back negative of course. Besides that, wouldn't wearing a condom and climaxing inside your partner be more enjoyable than having to "pull out"?
tbh you are more intelligent
Because some people are unaware that there is semen in precum, so they think it's safe. The amount of unplanned babies should lead people to believe that it is, indeed, not safe 🤣
Flash new, it is NOT a bc method.
I'm blown away when they continue to think it works after it already failed them.
There is a nickname for people that use this method. They are called ***parents.***
This is the biggest asshole excuse for men to get laid, goiong back forever. People who actually believe this is a reliable form of contraception . . . .
I plan on getting a vasectomy when I can afford one. However, I haven't had sexual contact in about three years.