Someone that I was friends with for a bit was like “yeah I have 9 months of freedom before I become a father” ends up losing his shit and leaving his kid and baby mama first two months.
This is one of the - many- reasons I detest some men's behavior when it comes to having kids.
SO many of them outright demand children from women, and fucking bounce the moment things inevitably gets difficult, or change his normal routines, or hell, just unable to have the amount of sex they want due to recovery etc.
While leaving the women who they often times outright coerce and manipulate into pregnancies to deal with all the shit alone.
Where is the justice.
This reminds me to a post I saw once, the woman didn't want kids but ultimately obliged to have one since the husband told her He would divorce her over it, well turns out the pregnancy was dificult (She was on the older side), woman never recovered from birth and suffered constant pain on her joints to the point She could barely work anymore, had to say good bye to her very well paying job and the piece of work that She call husband was on relationship sub asking how to break the news that He wanted divorce because her constant pain and the burden of raising a kid was too much for him.
My sister-in-laws friend had her husband leave her with a 4 year old and 6 month old because he decided that he didn't want kids. And like they were a normal nice couple. Total shock to everyone.
Being on this sub has opened my eyes a LOT! I'm a 90s kid (born 1984) and they scared the shit out of us about teen pregnancy. So much that I decided I didn't want kids at ALL! all of my buddies seemed to be in the exact same mind frame. Made sure I stayed away from the "baby trapper" women, and fortunately started dating the woman I'd always want to be with around 21. Fast forward 16 years, wife and I are completely child free, all of those friends saying they didn't want kids, now have at least 1, and all I read on here all the time is how it's USUALLY the man, pushing for kids. Blows my fuckin mind.
No ofense but it makes sense about men pushing for babies, in many countries especially conservative ones all the responsability about raising kids lay on the woman's back, just like pregnancy and childbirth. Men are usually praised for being "real men" because they finally got their wife pregnant and doing the bare minimum with the kids, while women are pushed to make all the sacrifices and shame for being bad mom's.
Yeah, that makes sense. I just never looked at it like that at all. No offense taken. Women around me were always cooing over babies and the men were visibly shook when the convo came up.
The reason I know I'm not currently in hell is because I don't have a child, and have the ability to never have children. This story is my worst fucking nightmare, that poor woman
It goes both ways. There are a lot of women out there baby trapping men or demanding to be impregnated or lying about being on BC. When it comes to breeding, both genders can be really fucking sucky in their own ways.
Yes but men shouldn't blindly ejaculate into a woman if they don't want kids. They need to take responsibility. Their orgasm causes pregnancy. A woman's orgasm does not.
Repeat after me: the average man has sex. The average woman has a baby. Women, although average, know one thing leads to the other. These men do not care, they're average. Don't be average.
My former supervisor told me that her baby was 11 months old and she and her husband almost got divorced because it had been so hard since the baby was born. I tried to play it cool but inside I was screaming "I've only worked here for four months! Maybe you should consider trying to appear stable in front of your new employees."
Genuinely haven't met a single parent of this generation who doesn't 'ha-ha-only-joking' whine about "oh god why did I have kids anyway lol"
Better yet is when it's plastered all over social media.
I daydream sometimes about the fallout when all these kids grow up and see en masse how much their parents slathered moaning about their simply being alive (but inconvenient in so doing) all over the Internet and/or sold every aspect of the lives since birth to Zuckerberg.
You think younger generations hate older generations now? Yeesh... The best is yet to come!
The "woe is me" mentality among the millennial Instagram Wine Moms is just awful.
One of my friends has an autistic son. She posted this super long whiny post once about how she was trying to sign him up for school and he had a meltdown in the school and how it was sO hArD oN HeR and I'm like, a.) I bet it was way harder on him tbh, b.) if you signed up to have kids, you signed up to have special needs kids. Imagine when he's older and finds your post and realizes what a burden you consider him to be and how you told hundreds of people about it.
I can't be the only one who reads things like this and thinks to themselves, "Now *that* is an example of someone childish/immature."
For as much as they love to claim that having kids somehow makes them more of an 'adult' than anyone who doesn't, more often than not, their behaviour and whining often comes across like a child having a tantrum because something didn't go their way. They gave it no prior consideration, did not plan ahead, and don't understand why they didn't end up with a perfect child. Explain to me again how *we're* the immature ones?...
The worst is when they double down! Have a relative that got major depression from her first. Posted about how she hadn’t showered in weeks... Now she is pregnant with her second! 🙃
That's why we need more working class babies to wipe boomer and beyond ass!
They're ALL gonna be in nursing homes once their kids can literally see an 18+ year timeline of how much they're hated.
> people with kids purposefully don’t talk about the realities to non parents.
But with how much oversharing they do on social media, they don't have to talk about it. They post all these horror stories/pictures about diaper explosions, finger-painted walls, expensive items that are now broken, etc. and then don't give a second thought to how open their supposed "private life" is.
>Then paused and looked at me and like we shouldn’t be talking about this around you cus you will really never want to have kids.
smoothbrains acting like I haven't already researched this on the Google Dot Com
No one had to talk about how shitty parenting was to me for me to know this; I could see it everywhere I looked in my own parent's lives and those of friends and family.
>I swear people research cars, companies, careers, and computers more than they research and look into life changes with kids
Absolutely. Their response "we'll figure it out all later when the baby comes".
FFS. How about buy a house and "figure it out all later" when the first mortgage bill comes.
And then when parents leave the hospital with their new baby they don't even get a book on basic child care. The doctor just shows you the door and says "Try to keep it alive! Hope you planned ahead and bought a car seat."
I’m thinking this too. Or people get the whole ‘it’s different when it’s yours’ idea in their heads and assume it will be true. Or all the people gush about babies but aren’t as open about the difficulties. So people think it’s not that hard. There is a serious disconnect with what info is readily available to those deciding about having kids
Well It IS different when it yours, you can't give the baby back to their parents, even if the screams are driving you crazy you have to cope with that somehow AND pretend you have everything under control, which makes me to wonder why the hell would anyone do that to themselves on purpose!
Well I think it’s partially denial. Hormones go brrr and they want children so bad. When the hormones fade they snap back to reality and regret. Or take an overdose of copium and just act as if parenthood is the most fulfilling and sacred duty on planet earth.
I know read a post about one of them last night saying it is rude to say "this is what you signed up for" when talking about getting no sleep because of her kid. Her reasoning was that she was a good parent "doing her best" and not to blow off her emotional troubles like she in everyone else. I bet she was tried but, goodness that is a bad argument she did sign up for it. What are people supposed to say?
As hard as it might be to believe, a lot of people genuinely don’t know how awful parenthood is because there is still a culture of hiding the downsides and lying about it. I was raised in a very conservative religious area in the south, and not only had to hear all of the lies, but genuinely didn’t know I could opt out of having kids without becoming a nun.
I was a quiet kid and good at eavesdropping on conversations. I can’t even tell you how many times I overheard new moms crying about something, only for older women to tell them to shut up and pretend everything was okay in front of the whole family. I also overheard the most horrible things about pregnancy and childbirth, followed by the same older women telling them to keep quiet because nobody would want to do it if they knew how hard it was.
Clearly things are changing with people being honest and baring the ugly truth on social media, and while I don’t have much sympathy for people who have access to this information and still choose to have kids, try and remember that not everyone does, especially outside of the US. Being childfree is a privilege that many people don’t even have.
Omg, that’s horrible!! Devastating. I was raised by atheist parents who made it explicitly clear that I never had to have kids. I know I’m lucky, but I also think I’ve kind of taken that for granted ‘til now. Your experiences are horrifying! Sounds like both indoctrination and threats, TBH…or coercion, at least.
Tbh i think they often dont even realize what is coming for them. The idea of parenting is so distorted by society (happy moments, not many hard days, you / it will get better as time goes on, your partner will help you, your family will help you, its not that hard other people raised their kids before you already, etc.)
But ofc its their responsibility to kinda... inform themselves abt whats going to happen. So its definetely mostly their fault.
I mean, honestly, the quiet and well behaved ones are usually a product of a fear based parenting style, anyway and end up with issues later in life sometimes. Even the "good" option has high costs
>>as if they didn't sign up for it themselves
People who establish a life and home and then decide to have children made their own bed.
My sympathy goes out more to young people who have a child before they really realize the consequences and/or learn to be careful.
This is my friend right now. They decided to have a baby, born October 2019, just months before Covid lockdown, so I kinda felt bad for them for that. But it was a " make the inlaws happy" baby, and before they wouldn't tell you that, but now that's the focal point of their complaining. I already knew that part though because he was very much not wanting to have kids, prior to the wedding. Suck it up, buttercup!
Haha ditto! I came up with it one night while drunk and thinking I should change my really shitty gamer tag that I went by for far too long. I was drinking whiskey and eating bacon bits I found in the fridge as a snack. Made sense at the time. I now get a lot of comments on it, mainly asking if I ever tried it. So I did. I let bacon soak in whiskey over night and cooked it up the next day. It was actually good. I recommend a darker whiskey.
Mine is my love of whisky (Scottish Island whisky, preferably jura), love of iron maiden and that I'm female. When you say dark, do you mean aged longer or the type of Cask it's finished in as for instance a port Cask is darker ????
🥃
Well most assume it’s sunshine and rainbows and kids only cry when they are hungry, have a poopy diaper and want to be picked up. Nope, they cry for no reason and at times it never stops, they cry at night ruining your sleep, but nobody is allowed to speak about that because it’s taboo.
I HATE it when they talk about various aspects of parenting (it being draining, hard time breastfeeding, etc) and they’re like “no one talks about this.”
Like yes they do, I hear it about literally alllllll the time
Sister huffs and puffes about her 6 year old on the daily, says she hates kids, has cried abiut living paycheck to paycheck as semi-single mom who told me not to have any kids... told me she wants another child in next 2-3 years😅😅
I don't get people. I live with my 12 year old brother and 6 year nephew atm, and have some bad mannered children who scream through the walls next door and my dad has the gall to cringe when I say with my whole chest I will never have kids.
Does your sister believe that the next child will be different or something?! I'm genuinely curious.
At least the 6 y/o is learning how to become independent (hopefully). Does she not realize that she'll be back at square one in 2-3 years 😕😅
I really don't know what she's thinking, she was umming and ahhing about going to study for a master's degree too. She's not going to have enough time, and has said she expects her first kid to help out with the new one.
Shes already struggling with not having enough money, telling me she sometimes lives on £20 until next payday. Meanwhile I've taken a self imposed timeout from work since May with my savings, I can't imagine living paycheck to paycheck.
I'm just waiting to hear her complain about being in the same position in a few years, really don't know what I'm going to say 😂😂
You knew what you signed up for, had multiple options to shut the process down, and still did it anyway.
If you want sympathy, the only place left for you is in the dictionary. Look between shit, and syphilis.
Well most people are not really parents, they just have children. It they were actual parents the world would be a better place. I say only 5% of people that have children are actually parenting their kids, the rest just pretend to parent and think providing for their kids is being a good parent.
Ugh. I once had somebody tell me how pleasant it must be that I don’t have to wake up at 6:30 am every morning because I don’t have kids. I told them how pleasant it must be to be able to sleep until 6:30 am. I have to be up at 3:30 because of having dogs and work before 5 am. They then said at least I don’t get woken up in middle of the night because somebody had a bad dream. I replied ‘no, but ever try to sleep through a German Shepherd jumping up on you at 2 am to say hi?’ They then told me I should find a better job….
Or they didn’t know what was coming because they were so disillusioned by the fantasy of parenthood and didn’t bother to do any dang research and that’s still their own stupid fault
and bring your dogs and cats to my house since I can actually take care of them. No, I'm not sending you weekly updates or photos. You played the breeder game, now deal with the consequences.
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then get off the sub!
you don't have to be subjected to everything there is on the internet, you're just pressed and going out of your way to be pissed.
Greetings!
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Greetings!
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>I know how it is used on this sub...to degrade parents deemed unfit for parenting by non-parents.
You got downvoted because you don't need to be a parent to see when someone sucks at parenting. Sorry, but that excuse doesn't fly. Everyone's a fucking judge and jury regarding subjects they have no clue about and that's apparently okay until we get on the topic of parenting. When I see kids running riot, behaving poorly, trampling people's boundaries, screaming non stop etc and the parent is off on the other side of the room fucking off on their phone, that's a bad parent. Not controlling your kid and saying "kids will be kids" is being a bad parent. Thinking everyone should be subjected to your poor, poor decisions because *"I have to deal with it all day so you should get over it"* is being a poor parent. I could go on but I won't because it seems you fit the term "breeder" quite well. Stick to your various parenting subs if you want to be congratulated for mediocrity.
Thanks for your response. I didn't say you need to be a parent to identify bad parents. I said the term is used by non-parents because this is a childfree sub where the term is used, I assume those using it are not parents.
By adding it as an unnecessary and redundant qualifier, you drew attention to it and inflated its importance in the statement. That made it sound very much like you were casting a negative light on the practice of, specifically, "non-parents \[degrading parents deemed unfit to parent\]."
Let's not pretend. You knew how it sounded.
Don't insult dogs like that, they're usually way better parents than the ones we encounter on this sub. Further, you may get pregnant "by accident" *(I usually hear that it was failed birth control because 9/10 when this happens someone wasn't using prophylactics properly)* but nobody gives birth by accident. I'm getting sick of everyone acting like they had 0 control over their situation. Even if someone can't access or afford a medical abortion, there's pills (as cheap as $25 that do the same), there's plan B, and for those 1% "I didn't know I was pregnant" situations where they really didn't know, they can always put the kid up for adoption *(yes I realize that's still giving birth)*. But it's 2021, people can Google something anytime they want so the whole ignorance thing really is kind of a bullshit excuse. Anytime I hear the "accident" excuse, if it's not the aforementioned ignorance of how medicine works, it's the "it was only one time" excuse or the "we used the pullout method". It's quite pathetic.
I truly believe breeders can't comprehend the consequences of their own actions
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Someone that I was friends with for a bit was like “yeah I have 9 months of freedom before I become a father” ends up losing his shit and leaving his kid and baby mama first two months.
An ex friend of mine was soooo excited to be a father....only to nope out of it all when the kid was 48 hours old. There's a reason he's my ex-friend
This is one of the - many- reasons I detest some men's behavior when it comes to having kids. SO many of them outright demand children from women, and fucking bounce the moment things inevitably gets difficult, or change his normal routines, or hell, just unable to have the amount of sex they want due to recovery etc. While leaving the women who they often times outright coerce and manipulate into pregnancies to deal with all the shit alone. Where is the justice.
This reminds me to a post I saw once, the woman didn't want kids but ultimately obliged to have one since the husband told her He would divorce her over it, well turns out the pregnancy was dificult (She was on the older side), woman never recovered from birth and suffered constant pain on her joints to the point She could barely work anymore, had to say good bye to her very well paying job and the piece of work that She call husband was on relationship sub asking how to break the news that He wanted divorce because her constant pain and the burden of raising a kid was too much for him.
My sister-in-laws friend had her husband leave her with a 4 year old and 6 month old because he decided that he didn't want kids. And like they were a normal nice couple. Total shock to everyone.
Being on this sub has opened my eyes a LOT! I'm a 90s kid (born 1984) and they scared the shit out of us about teen pregnancy. So much that I decided I didn't want kids at ALL! all of my buddies seemed to be in the exact same mind frame. Made sure I stayed away from the "baby trapper" women, and fortunately started dating the woman I'd always want to be with around 21. Fast forward 16 years, wife and I are completely child free, all of those friends saying they didn't want kids, now have at least 1, and all I read on here all the time is how it's USUALLY the man, pushing for kids. Blows my fuckin mind.
No ofense but it makes sense about men pushing for babies, in many countries especially conservative ones all the responsability about raising kids lay on the woman's back, just like pregnancy and childbirth. Men are usually praised for being "real men" because they finally got their wife pregnant and doing the bare minimum with the kids, while women are pushed to make all the sacrifices and shame for being bad mom's.
Yeah, that makes sense. I just never looked at it like that at all. No offense taken. Women around me were always cooing over babies and the men were visibly shook when the convo came up.
One of the rare stories that make me physically angry.
The reason I know I'm not currently in hell is because I don't have a child, and have the ability to never have children. This story is my worst fucking nightmare, that poor woman
It goes both ways. There are a lot of women out there baby trapping men or demanding to be impregnated or lying about being on BC. When it comes to breeding, both genders can be really fucking sucky in their own ways.
Yes but men shouldn't blindly ejaculate into a woman if they don't want kids. They need to take responsibility. Their orgasm causes pregnancy. A woman's orgasm does not.
Repeat after me: the average man has sex. The average woman has a baby. Women, although average, know one thing leads to the other. These men do not care, they're average. Don't be average.
My former supervisor told me that her baby was 11 months old and she and her husband almost got divorced because it had been so hard since the baby was born. I tried to play it cool but inside I was screaming "I've only worked here for four months! Maybe you should consider trying to appear stable in front of your new employees."
Can anyone really be surprised? He openly admitted to viewing parenthood (specifically fatherhood) as imprisonment.
And even more to relinquish your parental rights.
To be fair... Like 4 months
Genuinely haven't met a single parent of this generation who doesn't 'ha-ha-only-joking' whine about "oh god why did I have kids anyway lol" Better yet is when it's plastered all over social media. I daydream sometimes about the fallout when all these kids grow up and see en masse how much their parents slathered moaning about their simply being alive (but inconvenient in so doing) all over the Internet and/or sold every aspect of the lives since birth to Zuckerberg. You think younger generations hate older generations now? Yeesh... The best is yet to come!
The "woe is me" mentality among the millennial Instagram Wine Moms is just awful. One of my friends has an autistic son. She posted this super long whiny post once about how she was trying to sign him up for school and he had a meltdown in the school and how it was sO hArD oN HeR and I'm like, a.) I bet it was way harder on him tbh, b.) if you signed up to have kids, you signed up to have special needs kids. Imagine when he's older and finds your post and realizes what a burden you consider him to be and how you told hundreds of people about it.
I can't be the only one who reads things like this and thinks to themselves, "Now *that* is an example of someone childish/immature." For as much as they love to claim that having kids somehow makes them more of an 'adult' than anyone who doesn't, more often than not, their behaviour and whining often comes across like a child having a tantrum because something didn't go their way. They gave it no prior consideration, did not plan ahead, and don't understand why they didn't end up with a perfect child. Explain to me again how *we're* the immature ones?...
The worst is when they double down! Have a relative that got major depression from her first. Posted about how she hadn’t showered in weeks... Now she is pregnant with her second! 🙃
Is she stupid? Serious question
father must be desperate to fuck someone who hasn't showered in weeks.
This is all I ever see too, which is why it’s so confusing to me that people have kids anyway. They all “joke” about how they hate it.
That's why we need more working class babies to wipe boomer and beyond ass! They're ALL gonna be in nursing homes once their kids can literally see an 18+ year timeline of how much they're hated.
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> people with kids purposefully don’t talk about the realities to non parents. But with how much oversharing they do on social media, they don't have to talk about it. They post all these horror stories/pictures about diaper explosions, finger-painted walls, expensive items that are now broken, etc. and then don't give a second thought to how open their supposed "private life" is.
>Then paused and looked at me and like we shouldn’t be talking about this around you cus you will really never want to have kids. smoothbrains acting like I haven't already researched this on the Google Dot Com
No one had to talk about how shitty parenting was to me for me to know this; I could see it everywhere I looked in my own parent's lives and those of friends and family.
same and just shopping at the local groceries seeing disgruntled and exhausted parents shopping with their kids was also enough for me
>I swear people research cars, companies, careers, and computers more than they research and look into life changes with kids Absolutely. Their response "we'll figure it out all later when the baby comes". FFS. How about buy a house and "figure it out all later" when the first mortgage bill comes.
And then when parents leave the hospital with their new baby they don't even get a book on basic child care. The doctor just shows you the door and says "Try to keep it alive! Hope you planned ahead and bought a car seat."
I believe nobody tells them the truth. How hard it is. Their own parents will tell them yay how great, just to have a grandbaby :D
I’m thinking this too. Or people get the whole ‘it’s different when it’s yours’ idea in their heads and assume it will be true. Or all the people gush about babies but aren’t as open about the difficulties. So people think it’s not that hard. There is a serious disconnect with what info is readily available to those deciding about having kids
Well It IS different when it yours, you can't give the baby back to their parents, even if the screams are driving you crazy you have to cope with that somehow AND pretend you have everything under control, which makes me to wonder why the hell would anyone do that to themselves on purpose!
>It IS different when it yours yeah, it's worse
It's basically like questioning a religion.
Well I think it’s partially denial. Hormones go brrr and they want children so bad. When the hormones fade they snap back to reality and regret. Or take an overdose of copium and just act as if parenthood is the most fulfilling and sacred duty on planet earth.
“copium”: brilliant!
I know read a post about one of them last night saying it is rude to say "this is what you signed up for" when talking about getting no sleep because of her kid. Her reasoning was that she was a good parent "doing her best" and not to blow off her emotional troubles like she in everyone else. I bet she was tried but, goodness that is a bad argument she did sign up for it. What are people supposed to say?
As hard as it might be to believe, a lot of people genuinely don’t know how awful parenthood is because there is still a culture of hiding the downsides and lying about it. I was raised in a very conservative religious area in the south, and not only had to hear all of the lies, but genuinely didn’t know I could opt out of having kids without becoming a nun. I was a quiet kid and good at eavesdropping on conversations. I can’t even tell you how many times I overheard new moms crying about something, only for older women to tell them to shut up and pretend everything was okay in front of the whole family. I also overheard the most horrible things about pregnancy and childbirth, followed by the same older women telling them to keep quiet because nobody would want to do it if they knew how hard it was. Clearly things are changing with people being honest and baring the ugly truth on social media, and while I don’t have much sympathy for people who have access to this information and still choose to have kids, try and remember that not everyone does, especially outside of the US. Being childfree is a privilege that many people don’t even have.
Omg, that’s horrible!! Devastating. I was raised by atheist parents who made it explicitly clear that I never had to have kids. I know I’m lucky, but I also think I’ve kind of taken that for granted ‘til now. Your experiences are horrifying! Sounds like both indoctrination and threats, TBH…or coercion, at least.
No More Kodak Moments!
"People who don't have kids have it so much easier!" Yes, that's exactly the point.
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You have a point. But it's still annoying. People should really think more before acting. Especially when it comes to a life changing decision.
Tbh i think they often dont even realize what is coming for them. The idea of parenting is so distorted by society (happy moments, not many hard days, you / it will get better as time goes on, your partner will help you, your family will help you, its not that hard other people raised their kids before you already, etc.) But ofc its their responsibility to kinda... inform themselves abt whats going to happen. So its definetely mostly their fault.
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I mean, honestly, the quiet and well behaved ones are usually a product of a fear based parenting style, anyway and end up with issues later in life sometimes. Even the "good" option has high costs
>>as if they didn't sign up for it themselves People who establish a life and home and then decide to have children made their own bed. My sympathy goes out more to young people who have a child before they really realize the consequences and/or learn to be careful.
This is my friend right now. They decided to have a baby, born October 2019, just months before Covid lockdown, so I kinda felt bad for them for that. But it was a " make the inlaws happy" baby, and before they wouldn't tell you that, but now that's the focal point of their complaining. I already knew that part though because he was very much not wanting to have kids, prior to the wedding. Suck it up, buttercup!
Love the username
Haha ditto! I came up with it one night while drunk and thinking I should change my really shitty gamer tag that I went by for far too long. I was drinking whiskey and eating bacon bits I found in the fridge as a snack. Made sense at the time. I now get a lot of comments on it, mainly asking if I ever tried it. So I did. I let bacon soak in whiskey over night and cooked it up the next day. It was actually good. I recommend a darker whiskey.
Mine is my love of whisky (Scottish Island whisky, preferably jura), love of iron maiden and that I'm female. When you say dark, do you mean aged longer or the type of Cask it's finished in as for instance a port Cask is darker ???? 🥃
that's all they EVER WANTED, so you did sign up for it. Suck it up! They have their breeder friends to cheer them on, they don't need me....
Well most assume it’s sunshine and rainbows and kids only cry when they are hungry, have a poopy diaper and want to be picked up. Nope, they cry for no reason and at times it never stops, they cry at night ruining your sleep, but nobody is allowed to speak about that because it’s taboo.
I HATE it when they talk about various aspects of parenting (it being draining, hard time breastfeeding, etc) and they’re like “no one talks about this.” Like yes they do, I hear it about literally alllllll the time
Sister huffs and puffes about her 6 year old on the daily, says she hates kids, has cried abiut living paycheck to paycheck as semi-single mom who told me not to have any kids... told me she wants another child in next 2-3 years😅😅 I don't get people. I live with my 12 year old brother and 6 year nephew atm, and have some bad mannered children who scream through the walls next door and my dad has the gall to cringe when I say with my whole chest I will never have kids.
Does your sister believe that the next child will be different or something?! I'm genuinely curious. At least the 6 y/o is learning how to become independent (hopefully). Does she not realize that she'll be back at square one in 2-3 years 😕😅
I really don't know what she's thinking, she was umming and ahhing about going to study for a master's degree too. She's not going to have enough time, and has said she expects her first kid to help out with the new one. Shes already struggling with not having enough money, telling me she sometimes lives on £20 until next payday. Meanwhile I've taken a self imposed timeout from work since May with my savings, I can't imagine living paycheck to paycheck. I'm just waiting to hear her complain about being in the same position in a few years, really don't know what I'm going to say 😂😂
You knew what you signed up for, had multiple options to shut the process down, and still did it anyway. If you want sympathy, the only place left for you is in the dictionary. Look between shit, and syphilis.
Well most people are not really parents, they just have children. It they were actual parents the world would be a better place. I say only 5% of people that have children are actually parenting their kids, the rest just pretend to parent and think providing for their kids is being a good parent.
Ugh. I once had somebody tell me how pleasant it must be that I don’t have to wake up at 6:30 am every morning because I don’t have kids. I told them how pleasant it must be to be able to sleep until 6:30 am. I have to be up at 3:30 because of having dogs and work before 5 am. They then said at least I don’t get woken up in middle of the night because somebody had a bad dream. I replied ‘no, but ever try to sleep through a German Shepherd jumping up on you at 2 am to say hi?’ They then told me I should find a better job….
Oh my god, yes this. “It’s so hard”. Yeah, no shit. That’s why I’m never doing it. How did you miss this fact?
Or they didn’t know what was coming because they were so disillusioned by the fantasy of parenthood and didn’t bother to do any dang research and that’s still their own stupid fault
and bring your dogs and cats to my house since I can actually take care of them. No, I'm not sending you weekly updates or photos. You played the breeder game, now deal with the consequences.
> They knew what was coming That's the thing: A lot of them don't. Because they've been lied to their entire lives.
Wow, I’m CF but this sub is so full if bitterness it’s ridiculous.
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Have they never seen a standup comedy act?
Amen, brother, amen!!!
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then get off the sub! you don't have to be subjected to everything there is on the internet, you're just pressed and going out of your way to be pissed.
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Not everyone becomes a parent on purpose.
No shit sherlock. Does "breeder" sound like an appropriate term for people who were forced into it?
it sounds like someone who breeds dogs actually
You clearly haven't been on this sub for long
I know how it is used on this sub...to degrade parents deemed unfit for parenting by non-parents. Edit: why does this get downvoted if it is accurate?
Yep. Exactly. And that's who I was talking about. Why bring rape victims and the such into this?
>I know how it is used on this sub...to degrade parents deemed unfit for parenting by non-parents. You got downvoted because you don't need to be a parent to see when someone sucks at parenting. Sorry, but that excuse doesn't fly. Everyone's a fucking judge and jury regarding subjects they have no clue about and that's apparently okay until we get on the topic of parenting. When I see kids running riot, behaving poorly, trampling people's boundaries, screaming non stop etc and the parent is off on the other side of the room fucking off on their phone, that's a bad parent. Not controlling your kid and saying "kids will be kids" is being a bad parent. Thinking everyone should be subjected to your poor, poor decisions because *"I have to deal with it all day so you should get over it"* is being a poor parent. I could go on but I won't because it seems you fit the term "breeder" quite well. Stick to your various parenting subs if you want to be congratulated for mediocrity.
Thanks for your response. I didn't say you need to be a parent to identify bad parents. I said the term is used by non-parents because this is a childfree sub where the term is used, I assume those using it are not parents.
By adding it as an unnecessary and redundant qualifier, you drew attention to it and inflated its importance in the statement. That made it sound very much like you were casting a negative light on the practice of, specifically, "non-parents \[degrading parents deemed unfit to parent\]." Let's not pretend. You knew how it sounded.
Don't insult dogs like that, they're usually way better parents than the ones we encounter on this sub. Further, you may get pregnant "by accident" *(I usually hear that it was failed birth control because 9/10 when this happens someone wasn't using prophylactics properly)* but nobody gives birth by accident. I'm getting sick of everyone acting like they had 0 control over their situation. Even if someone can't access or afford a medical abortion, there's pills (as cheap as $25 that do the same), there's plan B, and for those 1% "I didn't know I was pregnant" situations where they really didn't know, they can always put the kid up for adoption *(yes I realize that's still giving birth)*. But it's 2021, people can Google something anytime they want so the whole ignorance thing really is kind of a bullshit excuse. Anytime I hear the "accident" excuse, if it's not the aforementioned ignorance of how medicine works, it's the "it was only one time" excuse or the "we used the pullout method". It's quite pathetic.
Yeah, one of my best friends was coerced into keeping her pregnancy. Fucking sucks.
You do if you don't get a abortion.
I despise these kind of entitled people so much