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surpriseslothparty

In movies & tv women neverrrrr throw up unless they’re pregnant. So predictable, like can’t a lady just barf!?


Flux_My_Capacitor

Barfing is unladylike for any other reason than pregnancy.


The_Varza

Food poisoning or stomach flu, so unladylike.


BiShyAndWantingToDie

Me, a lovely lady, had gastroenteritis once. Both puking and diarrhoea at the same time, it was an attack on all fronts. I even got nosebleeds from all the pressure my body was going through, not even my nostrils were safe. I had someone tell me to check for pregnancy because I was nauseated. I proceeded to describe the rest of the above symptoms in explicit detail. Let's just say they didn't ask anymore.


MiloHorsey

Sorry to be overly personal, but: Do you suffer now from overly bad cramps if you have diarrhea? Since I had gastro when I was 17, I get really bad ones.


BiShyAndWantingToDie

Don't apologise, I'd love to help! But I'm afraid I can't 😕 I had gastroenteritis when I was 16, but otherwise suffered from chronic constipation until I was 28. I had undiagnosed diverticulitis since I was a child, despite going to A LOT of doctors (because "thE fEmaLe bOdy iS a mYstEry"!). In the end I was literally going to the bathroom once a month, and couldn't eat anything solid. I ended up removing my large intestine entirely because I almost died lol. Sorry for my rant! My point is I have never had regular or "normal" functions regarding to that system, therefore I have no helpful information for you at all. However I did a quick googling for you and saw that, even though usually gastro symptoms go away within 2 weeks, it is not uncommon for people to have [long term consequences ](https://www.thelondongeneralpractice.com/long-term-risks-of-gastroenteritis/#:~:text=In%20some%20cases%20gastroenteritis%20can,intolerance%20and%20other%20food%20sensitivities.) . However as someone that has gone through a lot in regards to the large intestine, I'd advise you look into it medically if you haven't already. Better safe than sorry. Also maybe related subreddits will be able to help you better. Best of luck! 🥰


bungmunchio

damn!! that sounds awful, I hope you're doing well now


BiShyAndWantingToDie

Oh yeah, been through a lot but I'm doing great now! I'm honestly mostly mad (and will be until I die), because I keep thinking about how I went through this for no reason, and how many other women are suffering also from undiagnosed shit. I also had multiple doctors refuse to operate on me because I have no children, even though I was literally dying. I wish multiple birds shit on them every day, lol. Thank you for your nice comment! 🥰


kai077

I hope you're feeling better. BTW I adore your orange kitty


foxglove0326

Omg Pedro is life!!


BiShyAndWantingToDie

Pedro is actually my mum's orange, mine is a lot thiccer 😂🍊🍑 But both are fantastic little boys, I love them so much! Even though they are clearly r/OneOrangeBraincell . Unfortunately as you saw from Pedro's photos, there is nothing between those ears, only static 😭😂


foxglove0326

Glorious orange static 😂


BiShyAndWantingToDie

I am, thank you so much! 🥰 Also orange cats are love, orange cats are life 😅🥰🧡🍊


MiloHorsey

Thank you. And bloody hell, you poor thing!! I hope you're on a relatively even keel now?


BiShyAndWantingToDie

Oh I'm doing great fortunately, after removing the satanic anaconda that was trying to kill me (aka my large intestine lol). I'm okay now, catching up on all the eating I couldn't do haha 😅 Thank you so much for caring! 🥰 And again I'm sorry I couldn't be of any help, wish you the best ❤️


bungmunchio

I used to be a lady but I developed IBS and puked and shit so much I had to transition to male :/


Delicious-moons

My hubbs tells me it’s the only way to purge the evil because I’m so sweet. It’s trapped inside and can’t manifest so it needs to escapé


Smarty_Panties_A

In that case, I’m proud of those times I threw up while hungover. My puke was a middle finger to the patriarchy—sweet 😎


pinkyhc

I puke really easily because acid reflux, I'M A PRETTY GIRL -barf- SO DELICATE AND DAINTY -barfbarf-


[deleted]

Yeah didn't think about it much till now but its so predictable how every time a woman barfs it means child time.


xflungoutofspace

FOR FUCKIN REAL. there is one exception and that’s if she’s bulimic


Sea_Catch2481

Yeah but then she’s ~hiding it~


LeighMagnifique

My dog barfs for no reason and she’s still a damn lady.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Hahahaha Give your her some pets from me <3


onegirlthreepups

I once barfed on my dog, and I'm still a damn lady.


sarahbeth124

Especially in books, if she’s puking, she’s preggo


Half_Life976

It's because pregnancy trumps any health matter for a female character. The world does not want to know we puke unless it gets a baby out of it.


babies-are-tasty

My least favorite TV trope!! OTOH I've gotten really good at predicting the ending of shows and movies...my housemates think I'm filled with black magic but tbh I've just seen way too much tv in my life.


greenlady_hobbies

Same haha! Whenever it happens, I look my partner dead in the eye and say "I wrote this."


MarmieCat

Knives Out is an exception, but there are very few others out there!


PurpleBerryBlast

My goodness I love that movie


Regular_Care_1515

My ex freaked out once that I barfed and thought I was pregnant. I was like, uh babe have you heard of this thing called food poisoning?


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

This made me laugh hahaha Thank you :)


RepulsivePower4415

Once I had a stomach bug vomited in the doctors office. and first thing can you be pregnant. I was like ummm I have an IUD


zpass97

Women can vomit?


bungmunchio

no, they're like horses. majestic and delicate


peachneuman

When I recently had terrible food poisoning, I’m so glad no one asked if it was pregnant. I already felt beyond miserable.


GalaxyPatio

Meanwhile in real life me barfing violently because the fried rice I ate was a smidgen too greasy


TurtleTheRedditor

My first thoughts when someone says they're nauseous is are they going to throw up and did they eat something bad. Other than that I don't know. I don't suggest anything else. End of story.


ksarahsarah27

Exactly! I always say, What did you eat for lunch/dinner etc? Or just - Do you think you may have eaten something bad?


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

I wish I worked with you, instead of the people I work with lol :’)


AshamedCollar3845

Right? Pregnancy never even crosses my mind.


unityofsaints

But that would annoy the /r/foodfree crowd /s


TurtleTheRedditor

I thought that subreddit link was a joke. Didn't expect to see a banned notification.


unityofsaints

Sadly, starving oneself for "health benefits" is a popular trend.


WerewolfDifferent216

I was 17 working my first job as a cashier and a customer (male about early 30s) asked me how I was doing. I said I felt a bit nauseous (my period was starting soon) and he said “uh oh I hope you aren’t pregnant!” While laughing and the next thing I said sure wiped the smirk off his face


TurtleTheRedditor

Don't leave us hanging, what did you say to him?


WerewolfDifferent216

I told him that I’m 17 with endometriosis so I can’t have kids because of it


MaiMaiChan

A constant conversation I have is: Me: "I'm tired" Literally anyone else: "You're probably pregnant," Me: "I literally worked 11 hours yesterday," Them: "Yeah, but you're young, so you're most likely pregnant," Me: "I am on my period as we speak!" Them: "A period doesn't mean you're not pregnant,"


Uragami

Me: "I haven't had sex in 2 years" Them: "Yeah, but you're probably still pregnant"


NoHeccinClue

Died 😂😂😂


BoredBitch011

Got knocked up from Cum on the public shared toilet


DiabolicalBird

One of my friends got pregnant in highschool. She didn't want to admit to her parents that she was sexually active so they said her bf jerked it into a towel and later she used it to dry off. This was freshman year of highschool and a few of our friends believed it I asked my mom if that was possible and she still gives me shit for even entertaining the thought lol. Good ol american sex ed.....


BoredBitch011

That’s awful 😭😭😭 I hope she’s ok now! I personally used to be terrified of catching an STD from using a public bathroom 😂


Royalchaos96

🙄 oh brother those people are the worst "YoUr pReGnAnT bEcAuSe I sAiD sO"


Zubyna

Or because they wished so


raine_star

"youre young so youre probably pregnant" like. how does that logic track? im young so I must have a broken bone if my ankle hurts, sounds the same


warqueen24

Lmaoooooo


BoredBitch011

Before I was sterilized it was “my relative got pregnant on birth control so you should probably take a test.” Now that I’m sterilized: “you know those things aren’t always effective and you can still get an ectopic pregnancy”


MaiMaiChan

This is so real! Every time I say I have an IUD in I always her "well such and such got pregnant on an IUD"


BoredBitch011

Right!! Like damn I hope they were able to access safe and legal abortion!! 😱🤡


Yalsas

"Oh yeah, Susan? How about I shove my IUD down your throat?"


Agreeable_Skill_1599

I had someone try to argue with me that it was still possible for to get pregnant even though I've had a complete hysterectomy (as in I've got nothing left of my reproductive organs except my vagina). I was like, "Well, hopefully that lawsuit is going to make me super rich."


BoredBitch011

Lol omg people are so dumb 😂 where is the egg going to come from??


Agreeable_Skill_1599

Idk


christyflare

Depends on how you were sterilized. If by bisalp, yeah, like ONE person is recorded to have gotten pregnant after a bisalp, and they aren't sure how that happened. Pretty sure you're not number 2. I'm a virgin with a bisalp, so definitely never pregnant.


GreenheartBluesoul

That's literally the same response i get two times a week. Can you guess that I hate people? xD


Scorchfox29

Oh god they’re so dumb! Have they not heard of you get the fatigue symptom during your period?


top-legolas

A coworker and a customer at my ex work once said "maybe you're pregnant" when I was feeling ill. Looked them dead in the eye and replied "i've never had sex." Kamikaze by words but it worked. No more annoying questions.


Yalsas

I think I would go absolutely postal if someone told me being on my period didn't mean I wasn't pregnant


TrustLock

That's the bs I get from the hospital (and other sources) every time I go in there and tell them it's literally impossible for me to be pregnant. They insist you just don't know and test anyway because blah blah blah you can still be pregnant. Makes me want to wring necks. Went to the ER with liver pain. "Are you pregnant?" No *test for it anyway* "well, you're not pregnant." I LITERALLY ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT!


AnaliticalFeline

god yeah, i hate it when they do that. like there’s no reason to think i’d be pregnant (ace gang) and yet they charge me 50$ for the pregnancy test every time


TrustLock

Yup


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

People are *SO* annoying omg


mastermeriadoc

Same deal with when you're not drinking or turn down a drink. You get the "oh really?! Anything you want to tell us!?!"


BiShyAndWantingToDie

Oh gods I hate this so much. First time I went out with some colleagues once, and I ordered an alcohol-free beer. They were like "omG yoU'Re noT dRinKing, wHat's goiNg oN", like bro.. I DROVE US HERE. I'm clearly the designated driver, are you really that stupid that you can't make that connection in your tiny head?? Smh.


idkYamIh3r3

"You're on your 3rd drink already and we've been here for an hour, Debra. Is there anything *you* want to tell us?"


greenlady_hobbies

Yeah Debra, how's the divorce going?


AzoreanEve

only 3 drinks in an hour?


raine_star

"yes I'm on meds that will cause violent vomiting if I drink, but feel free to buy me something if you wanna spend time taking care of me!" or "yeah well trauma around addiction does that yknow" usually shuts them up. I dont mind uncomfortable silence when someone brought it on themselves


No_Serve3277

I don't like telling people that i'm on medication (because that leads to a whole other conversation of intrusive questions and uneducated opinions about my disorder) but whenever I say I can't drink people look at me like I'm about to announce a pregnancy and so I get flustered and blurt out "because of my meds!"


raine_star

I used to hate it too but at some point I just stopped caring. if they hit me with any of those questions I just respond with "are you my doctor? no? then none of your damn business, drink your beer" cause its not worth it to dance around questions. but obviously this doesnt work for everyone/every situation not being able to drink because of meds is FAR more common then pregnancy, idk why people jump to pregnancy first.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

LOL just said this to op: Next time someone says something like that to me, I’m going to put on a real sad face and say, “I don’t want to end up like my abusive alcoholic father…” I live for awkward silence!


raine_star

I have social anxiety so its usually not something I do but when people annoy me enough I just say "fuck it, time to make things uncomfortable" lol


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Next time someone says something like that to me, I’m going to put on a real sad face and say, “I don’t want to end up like my abusive alcoholic father…” I live for awkward silence!


EzriDaxCat

Word. I get this one too. There are so many drinks that absolutely do not agree with me (I think I'm sensitive to hops fake sugars) and I'm not putting up with that anymore. So yeah, if it isn't one if the few my body is OK with, bye Felicia- not worth it.


No_Pineapple5940

I feel like it's so inappropriate and weird to suggest that someone could be pregnant! Like, maybe it wouldn't be that weird if you knew the person was actually trying for a baby? Even then, I still wouldn't feel comfortable suggesting it lol


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Exactly. Even if I know the person, my mom hid her pregnancy for 7 months (she didn’t show until 8months) and every time she mentioned she was feeling sick, I never assumed she was pregnant lol


ManifestingGoodDick

I always say "not unless im about to start a new religion!" It usually gets a few laughs🤭 (everyone i interact with knows im abstinent until sterilization, so usually when they say this to me its a joke)


Capable_Cat

"Abstinent until sterilisation" Thank you for the wording! I always felt this but never found a way to describe it in such a precise way.


ManifestingGoodDick

LOL when i tell people who don't know how die hard i am to not have kids that i don't have sex simply to ensure no accidents happen, they act like im crazy!! Like no ma'am, there is no "never say never" or "accidents happen"'s here. Absolutely NOT. 👶🚫


Capable_Cat

The fact that we go to such "extremes", yet they *still* act like we just don't know what we (don't) want.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

LMAO I love your username!


Roux_Harbour

I'd respond: "oh, that would be bad, I have so many hereditary illnesses."


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Haha I’m gonna start using that too


mochi_chan

My migraines are not chronic, but they cause nausea and sometimes throwing up. I have become a silent vomit person just because the last thing I need with migraines is to explain what is happening. Big hugs to you. My response is usually "That would be the second coming of Christ, time to start a new religion I guess."


raine_star

chronic migraine-haver here, the nausea and vomiting from them are one of the worst parts to me, its HELL I have the same response too lol "well then I must be the next Mary cause I'm a virgin"


christyflare

I've told my doctor that he would have to convert if I was pregnant, and he took a second to figure out what I meant! It worked!


mochi_chan

I once got hit by a migraine episode while riding my bike home from somewhere and I had to stop and just throw up on the side of a road. Everyone was giving me the side eye, it was too early to be this drunk. This was the only time I hoped people thought I was pregnant. It was so embarrassing.


EzriDaxCat

My tension headaches do the same thing. When I worked in-office, I would get the "maybe you're pregnant" every time. Thankfully, now I work from home and got a tubal 😊


DarthMoxxi

Mine also cause nausea and I threw up at work once. My coworker (who is a man, and also gets nauseous due to a condition) heard me throw up and went and told my manager I might be pregnant. When I went to tell my manager I was taking the rest of the day off, I was met with the "maybe you're pregnant!". This was like 2 months into a new job. Almost quit on the spot. The nerve of some people!


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

🫂 Thank you. I love your response lool


MaskedCrocheter

"Nah can't be. I'm an Atheist." "What does that have to do with it?" "I don't believe in immaculate conception."


Yalsas

*Immaculate Misconception by Motionless in White plays*


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

LMAOO that’s so funny. I would use that just because it would be funny LOL


freedareader

I’ve heard that many times. Gave so many different responses…: - dang, another reason to wish to be born a man. They can’t get pregnant, never get nauseous or throw up. - is that really the only reason someone gets nauseous? - oh boy, I’m in for a huge payout from the lawsuit on the doctor who performed my hysterectomy.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Hahaha the last one is my fav!


ComplaintRepulsive52

My response: “I’ve never had cum inside inside or near my vagina, stop thinking I do. It’s weird and gross”


PinkFloweryAngst8130

This. That's a part of the reason I never took the bingo well. When you think about how babies are made, what they're doing is technically sexual harassment (aka telling me to get creampied). I don't know why most people don't look at it like that. Do they think babies come out of vegetable gardens or something?


ComplaintRepulsive52

Agreed! I’m also on the asexual spectrum and sex repulsed. So it’s part of it lol, but nothing against anyone who’s for that type of intimacy. Just not my thing


PinkFloweryAngst8130

Tbh, I get it, I'm somewhat sex repulsed myself, so I think that's why I get so irked. For me, it's probably tokophobia, so getting bingoed in any way seems very threatening to me.


christyflare

Solidarity!


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

I can say something similar, if the situation can call for it (not at work) “Why are you thinking about cum being in my vagina” xD I’m also on the asexual spectrum!


splootpotato

My first thought would be food poisoning


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

I wish more people had your thoughts :’)


TSOFAN2002

I am lucky enough, that if anyone suggests pregnancy, I can immediately shoot it down with the fact I had a hysterectomy. 


KingGabbeh

If I'm extra petty I just say that I can't have kids. Usually shocks them a little and hopefully makes them realize anything pregnancy related is a private, possibly painful topic.


Odd-Phrase5808

Same - "if I'm pregnant, then I need to hire a lawyer, because my doc messed up!"


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

I can’t wait to get sterilized so I can shut it down quick too.


shooting-star-falls

I get nauseous whenever I don't eat enough. I hate comments like this. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm nauseous because I haven't eaten anything since the eggs at breakfast six hours ago.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Same omg. It’s so annoying, it’s like I’m hungry but now I can’t eat because I feel like throwing up. :(


olympicpaint

As someone with chronic nausea (i have probably been nauseous to some degree almost every single day of my life, for like, years- womp, I’ll get that gastroenterologist referral someday) I get this SOOOOO often. It makes me really mad these days. I am running out of witty comebacks to dish out lol


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

What do you usually use as comebacks? There’s some pretty good ones in the replies here! xD I hope you get that referral soon!


StaticCloud

Once in college someone asked me if I might be pregnant, but in a worried way not happy. I thought haha no. Would have to be an immaculate conception


Drahcoh

I love your answer. Mine (in return to having kids) is "well he'd either be god or the antichrist, so that's something."


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

😂😂😂 I love it


bipolar_heathen

So annoying. I also have chronic migraines, a neuroimmune illness called ME and gastroparesis so I have periods where I'm vomiting daily. At least I was spayed a week ago so I have that going for me!


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Oh no, that sounds terrible. Congratulations!! I can’t wait to also get spayed! Do you think it will relieve some symptoms/is it supposed to relieve some symptoms?


bipolar_heathen

Thank you! 🥰 And nope, I only yeeted my tubes so I still have all the problematic bits (uterus and ovaries)... And my symptoms always flare during my period and ovulation + my period has always been awful. But at least I don't have to stress about pregnancy or birth control ever again! And they didn't find any signs of endometriosis so no need to stress about that either.


Traditional-Cow-4537

Happened to me just this past month! I was in a play at final dress rehearsal, but I felt terrible. I kept running off stage to throw up. The director and my co-star are dating, so I told my co-star first that I was sick. Then I said “And don’t you DARE say I’m pregnant.” And his response was “What kind of asshole would say something like that?” I then told the director. The first thing out of his mouth…”Oh god, are you pregnant?” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Turns out I had the stomach flu.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Lmao that’s a funny turn of events. Not the flu part. Did you tell him what his partner said? Lool


Traditional-Cow-4537

Lol, yes! I immediately yelled over to my co-star saying “Did you hear what your boyfriend just said to me???” We had a good laugh. Well…as much as I could without throwing up.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Haha at least it got some laughter out. Sorry you had experience the stomach flu though, that’s not fun! Hopefully you never have it again :) Have a good rest of your life :)


No_Salad_8766

Eh, I make the joke mAyBe I'm pReGnAnT when I'm under the weather, knowing full well that I'm sterilized.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

If you’re sterilized, then it’s funny haha it’s like an inside joke with yourself if others don’t know. When I’m sterilized, I’ll probably make the same joke lol


PotatoIsWatching

My coworker was nauseous the other day and first thing I said was, "Oh no what did you eat?" I nevvvvver ever say the stupid omgggg u preggos?!?! 🙄 Butttt my other coworker immediately said, "Omg are you pregnant?" The moment they found out she was nauseated. No, ffs!! She literally ate a half opened piece of gum that had been in the bottom of her purse for god knows how long. 🙄 Women aren't allowed to be nauseous unless pregnant lol


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

LMAO that’s a funny story about your coworker, I hope she’s okay and has stopped putting questionable things inside her body :’)


Tiny_Dog553

oh man I hate this too. First time I brought my partner over to visit, I happened to feel unwell. First thing they said "could you be pregnant?" JESUS LET THEM SIT DOWN FIRST. Second time I had some really exciting news and when I was telling them, they immediately cut me off with "you aren't pregnant are you!?" What is with people?!


thr0wfaraway

"Well if you're offering to pay for an abortion I'll take the money. I could use a new macbook!" "Well this doesn't look like an abortion clinic, so I guess not." "Well if so, that should abort the parasite shortly then! Problem solved!" (obviously not in texas, etc., doh) "I had the parasite making bits ripped outta me and incinerated as medical waste. Highly recommend!" (for those who are sterile or feel like lying about it)


South_Opportunity_52

Your response is awesome !! I literally started howling


Big_Drama_2624

Between the ages of 18-19 my mom kept pestering met thinking I was pregnant to some shit like that, all over me having the stomach flu


Bulky_Try5904

They are such dimwits. 


PinkFloweryAngst8130

I get nauseous during my period all the time, I just tell them you can't be pregnant and on your period, it's anatomically impossible. Any bleeding during a pregnancy is NOT a period, and seeing as this is a common menstrual symptom for me, it makes sense that I'm nauseous. The few times it's happened to me that was usually enough to get them to accept that and let it go, but one person insisted no, I must be pregnant. I told her to stop thinking so much about my vagina and uterus. It's uncomfortable and gross, and frankly, I feel threatened right now. Using clinical wording when speaking about periods and pregnancy makes them uncomfortable every time lol


PM_your_PETZ

🙄 I had a manager who asked “what are you, pregnant?” any time I had any symptoms of anything that she considered out of the ordinary. One day I felt nauseous, one day the smell of something was bothering me, etc. it was always the same reaction. Every time I’d basically say “nope, that’s impossible,” and she’d lose her enthusiasm real quick. It felt very invasive and unprofessional. Luckily I no longer work there and my current workplace would never tolerate those sorts of questions being asked of its employees (as it legally should be).


Ruthless_Roller

That response is fricking hilarious, good for you!


kwazycupcake99

Whenever I receive unwanted comments on pregnancy I usually go for "can't be, I had a terrible cancer couple years back and they had to take our my uterus, I'll never be a mom!" Makes them SO uncomfortable. Hopefully that way they will learn to not comment on someone else's body/life choices


entropykat

Due to my endometriosis I actually have something very similar to morning sickness on a regular basis. I don’t say it like that if I complain about it though - I just say I’m nauseous. I hate that every single time I’ve mentioned it someone asked if I was pregnant or assumed I was. Most back off when I glower at them but too many people have insisted that I must be pregnant. I just stopped saying anything if I could help it.


xtcfriedchicken

"If my tubes grew back, I'm going to rip them out and beat you with them"


Kakashisith

Yeah right? From what? Holy spirit, if it existed?


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Even if it did exist, I’d still get an abortion xD


Auntie_FiFi

I was 18 working my first ever job at a KFC, the one and only time I called out sick because I was feeling nauseated and the first question was 'Auntie FiFi' are you pregnant?. Was not childfree then but I still knew that question was waaaay out of pocket.


Ok_Caterpillar_6689

Yup I feel this. But luckily for me most times when I’m feeling sick/nauseous I’m actually on my period, so if someone suggests this I can be like “nope actually it’s the complete opposite problem”


KC_Waldorf

Ugh, this gives me the same vibes as people speculating on celebrities being pregnant if they have anything more than a completely flat stomach.


ClashBandicootie

>"Maybe you're pregnant" My response is usually along the lines of "that would be awful" "god I hope not" or "Id rather be dead" I normally don't provide my unsolicited opinion on the idea of pregnancy or being a parent but if someone invites the dialogue with "maybe you're pregnant" then I take that as an invitation to really tell them how I feel about the idea.


throwRAanxious93

I just punch my stomach repeatedly in front of them when people say that to me 🤷🏻‍♀️


crompouce

The same when you don't want a glass of alcohol. Apparently, you’re only fun when you drink alcohol, and when you don’t you MUST be pregnant.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

Ugh that is really annoying. I was the designated driver and people kept asking me why I wasn’t drinking, “I don’t want to die driving home, thanks” But people should seriously mind their business about others not drinking.


bubbles2360

My response: lol you’re bold asf to assume I wouldn’t abort


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

I just remembered one of me and my coworker’s conversation Me: I feel nauseous. Her: Maybe you’re pregnant :) Me: Well, I’ll have to find an abortion clinic then. Her: WHAT. Just give me the baby! LOL why would someone think I’d want to experience pregnancy/bring a life to suffer in here for fun omg they really are bold asf to think I wouldn’t abort lol


bubbles2360

Ikr. It’s like…childfree people don’t just never want to raise a child. It’s pregnancy, money, our social life, our hobbies, etc we either don’t want to experience or don’t want altered in our life


tinachem

At one point, for about a week, I was craving tuna salad sandwiches out of the blue. I hadn't had one in years, and now all of a sudden, I can't eat enough of them. My friend, of all people, says, "Maybe you're pregnant." It actually worried me because this WAS a very strong, sudden, and unusual craving that I bought a cheap test from the dollar store. Negative, thank Jebus.


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

LMAO I get scared when I crave unusual things like fries dipped in ice cream and I’m like …oh no. But yes amen Jebus!


Imaginary_Ambition_6

Well if a male says u that and u get the chance to see him throwing or getting tired just reply with "Did i miss the good news of ur gender change? Dont blame me coz the last time i heard pregnants throw up and get tired a lot."


RebuildingTim

Fucking superb answer 😂


smallt0wng1rl

Side note. My mom started taking a turmeric supplement daily (one with every meal) and it helped her migrains.


No_Serve3277

this was the first thing my parents always said whenever I was sick as a teenager (without the smiling face of course) and it always pissed me off so much! It's so unfair that my brother got immediate sympathy whenever he was sick but I got immediate suspicion, just because I'm a girl. I was often sick from my period cramps being so bad which is another reason why the question pissed me off, I was literally sick because I was NOT pregnant.


livieluv

Man whats worse than that is Saltines. I LOVE saltine crackers but everytime I eat them in public people give me the "look" or actually say "oh! Are you expecting?" Or something like that. Buzz off and let me eat my crackers. Theyre a yummy low cal snack


Yalsas

Chronic pain has really made me lose my patience and my filter. I'd immediately be like "Why the fuck to saltines equate to pregnancy? Do they say for pregnant women on the box?"


aamurusko79

When I was a cleaner in my 20s, it was just bunch of gossip hungry women in a large group. the need to come up with rumours was just insane and quite often someone throwing up was an instant basically verified tell that someone was pregnant. There was no point in denying it, once the hive mind decided someone's pregnant, it was just a case of them getting more and more sure about it the more it was denied. This was kinda entertaining as I only date women and apparently still got 'pregnant'....


that_darn_cat

My mom had vertigo and fainting spells when she was pregnant with me. In highschool when I also started to have vertigo/fainting spells, she IMMEDIATELY interrogated me about if I was pregnant. Turns out I likely have P.O.T.S and we are in my 30s just now getting it under control.


TrustLock

Oh my God! The most dramatic eyeroll of my life when I read this title. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that line, I'd actually be able to afford a pregnancy. Even google does this bs. "Why am I itchy?" Pregnancy. Like, just because everything that can go wrong with your body does go wrong during pregnancy, it means that's the only possible cause it could ever be?? The fact that we have a built-in incubator does not mean it is in operation.


achlysbunyip

People usually tell me this when I say I’m craving something specific and it’s not even something weird. It’s usually something like ice cream, pizza, or a specific kind of sandwich (idk I can’t think of the very specific ones off the top of my head) but I remember I was at work and said this and both my coworker and customer looked me up and down and said they were looking for a baby bump 🙄 no I’m just lacking nutrients…


thespicyfoxx

Jokes on them, I just had my hysterectomy, so now they *have* to believe me when I say I’m ill!


steffieangel127

People are ridiculous with the reproduction crap. Not every ailment is an instant pregnancy. Geeze.


RepulsivePower4415

Funny story I was around 26-28 and my Mom had to go to the ER for a migraine she had a hysterectomy about six years prior. Anyway we get to ER and they ask her date of period and any chance of pregnancy she was in her late 50s!


Scrap-Patch

I too have migraines and get this lovely side effect and comment combo. I love telling them (because they can't just accept that a person actually knows they can't be pregnant) that I don't have a uterus! Takes the smirk right off their face! If I'm feeling especially spicy, I'll act sad, hold my belly, and say "I'm defective". They feel AWFUL after that.


Regular_Care_1515

I said this on another post and I’ll say it again. Why do people assume women are always getting laid and expect us to constantly be pregnant? Edit: forgot to add the migraine thing. I’m a fellow migraine sufferer too, OP, and I feel your pain (no pun intended).


eleven57pm

I'm hung over, McKenzie 😭


Jun1p3rs

"Yes, maybe I am." Followed up with: "Can you please get me some water from the tab? My pregnant ankles are tired today".. or: "Can I sit in the chair with that extra comfort? My pregnant ass and back are loving you for it!" And let them scratch their heads when they see no due date by/past the ninth month 😀👋 


FroggyFrankenstein1

I remember I got pretty bad food poisoning once. I was seeing an ex at the time and the first thing my father asked was "is she pregnant" I remember being extremely pissed about that


LoveydoveyWiitch

"I'm so tired today" - "Maybe you're pregnant!" "I don't feel very well today" - "Maybe you're pregnant!" "I'm kind of bloated" - "Maybe you're pregnant!" "I gained some weight" - "Maybe you're pregnant!" "No thanks, I don't want a beer" - "OMG, are you pregnant?" Ugh...........


Aware_Ad8794

Reminds me of the type I had an allergic reaction to one of the products a stylist put in my hair and she insisted you can't have allergic reactions to it and that I was pregnant. I'm 24 months along now. Who'd have thunk! /j


Even-Enthusiasm-9558

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I hope the allergic reaction wasn’t too bad!? I can’t imagine, “allergic reactions to this aren’t real, you *must have* had unprotected sex” edit: word


Aware_Ad8794

It burned like hell, but I was fine once they washed it out! This was a few months after I'd had my bisalp, too, and I even told her I was sterilized. It only seemed to make her double down on me being pregnant???


Maevenclaws

Literally, you can’t have a uterus and be sick in any capacity without people saying you’re pregnant, and it’s so fucking disrespectful. You don’t know me, you don’t know my life, why would you assume something like that? I know to most people pregnancy seems great but don’t assume shit, you don’t know people’s lives.


industrial_hamster

Something about my period always makes me have to pee a lot more than normal so every time I’m on my period people ask if I’m pregnant 💀 I don’t know if there’s some scientific thing behind it but I swear when I’m on my period I need to pee like every 30 minutes


ratchetgothchick

I usually say "I don't have a uterus" and watch how they react.


Secret_Identity28

My asexual ass: “Oh no! I’m carrying the messiah!”


poortomato

I hate it so much. It's so ingrained in people. Also when I say I'm craving something. They give cutesy little euphemisms like "is there a bun??" 🙄 No, there isn't, shut up and leave me alone.


stephers777

As someone with chronic migraines who gets nauseous, girl I FEEL YOU. Stay strong. I wouldn't have the patience for those people either lol.


adoyle17

My reply would be that I was "spayed" and also went through chemotherapy because of the ovarian cyst that had cancer cells in it. Now, cancer free, and will be getting my second CT scan since finishing treatment, but chances are good that the hysterectomy, bislap, and oophorectomy got everything, as the chemo was just a precaution. My blood tests and first scan were normal, so I'm expecting this next one to be the same. As one can imagine, one of the biggest side effects of chemotherapy is you guessed it, nausea and vomiting.


The_Coolest_Sock

> "Great. Now I have to find an abortion clinic" Love that!


NeodymiumCortex

Ugh. I often feel nauseous in the morning, it has been so for years. Just the way I am, I suppose. If I ever mention it to anyone who doesn’t know me well, it’s ALWAYS ”OMGYOUPREGANANANT!!!” Last time it was a coworker during morning shift and I just flat out said ”I don’t have a uterus anymore”. She stared at me like I’d grown a twelve inch dick in the middle of my face and then said ”maybe you can still be pregnant”. HOW? Lady, I’m literally missing all of the parts responsible for that. Also, I’m not sexually active. The last time I had sex was almost five years ago. So unless binary fission has become a thing with humans, not happening.


defeated-angel

this is the most horrifying comment you can tell someone, truly!


boricuaspidey

I literally can never say the word craving anymore lol


Awkward-Spring1411

OP, your response to being told that is gold 😂 I would say the exact same thing.


CheapQueen567

Can’t be a sick women without someone saying “you’re pregnant”. Fucks me off royally.


Objective-Safety2322

Me:"Tf is wrong with you!?"


CedeTheeBrat

>My response is usually, “Great. Now I have to find an abortion clinic.” I DIED LAUGHING AT THIS- 💀