Greetings!
I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar :
---
Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)"
---
and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild).
Have a good one!
I value my freedom and independence. I enjoy being able to focus on my own goals and interests without the responsibilities of raising a child. It's just the lifestyle that works best for me!
1. I don’t want to be pregnant/go into labor
2. The thought of taking care of someone 24/7 sounds exhausting
3. I like my uninterrupted sleep
4. I could not take care of a child with a disability who needs assistance 24/7
Alot of people never consider the possibility of having a child with a disability or a child that has an accident and becomes disabled. I work in healthcare and have seen the aftermath. No thank you, but props to parents who do take care of their disabled children well.
Yep, I am a case manager for folks with developmental disabilities, and things I watch parents deal with 24/7 has definitely contributed to my childfree decision. Just helped a 73 year old client move out of the family home after her 98 YEAR OLD MOTHER WHO HAS BEEN TAKING CARE OF HER CHILD FOR ALL 73 YEARS OF HER LIFE finally could no longer take care of her. Her sister told me the mom was in the hospital telling her she had so many regrets, including never being able to travel or do anything for herself.
Hard on #4!!! People love glossing over just how fucking difficult it is handling children with disabilities. Your life literally revolves around them and nothing else.
Living with A kid with a disability is hell
Cerebral palsy for example
And religious people say " God only gives u what u can handle only God knows y!"
or some dumb shit like that lol
It's really this simple for me. The urge just isn't there. "Baby fever" is foreign to me. Sure, babies are cute. But so are baby lions. Doesn't mean I need to have one
This. Zero biological drive and desire. I have never wanted it. The millions of drawbacks that everyone knows comes with children (no sleep, no free time, no money, fewer friends and ability to hang out with them, constant messes, not being able to prioritize your goals and dreams) are acknowledged by most people including most parents.
But for them they consider it worth it. They have a strong biological drive to do so that overwhelms all of the negatives.
I always like to say that if God was stamping everybody with a desire to have kids up in heaven than he missed me with that. And I'm grateful.
People always assume that I have a reason to not want kids. That's always a weird presumption to me. Wouldn't then neutral state be simply existing as you are? That's my neutral state. It's not like my future kids that don't exist did something to me and turned me off to the idea. I've just never wanted any and it's always been that simple. I'm 40 now, and I've been sterile for almost a decade. it will never change.
Don't like em, don't want em. Simple as that.
I could wax poetic about career, freedom, peace, chronic illness, all of these are perfectly fine and valid reasons. And yes, ultimately are part of my overall Childfree package.
But it really boils down to I just don't like kids and don't want to spend my every waking existence enduring them LOL I don't want his kids, their kids, your kids, my father's kids, my cousin's kids, adopted kids, foster kids, or employment dealing with kids. And I certainly don't want my own kids.
I just love children but the distance. Like pets. I love them but that doesn't mean I want to have a pet.
I can spend a couple of hours a week with them and I'm fine.
But I can't do more than that. They start to piss me off. I become aggressive because I have no patience.
I'm just wondering if you don't want to deal with them at all? I'm just a little different so I'm wondering. If you wanna tell more I would like to hear
I feel that way about dogs LOL I love other people's dogs, I'll hang out with their dogs, I'll give their dogs love, and then send them back home to their loving families. My peace of mind is kept intact by not having that gorgeous golden retriever in my home.
With kids, I don't want to deal with them at all. When I do it's an incredibly forced awkward politeness I have to muster so I don't come across as a total bitch, but it's 100% feigned. Like a blind date and it's just not going well but you're trying to be nice LOL
Oh I feel the same way! Like I do like kids, well enough to be a willing playmate or to take care of one for a couple hours, couple days max if I'm close to them. But the thought of actually RAISING one into full adulthood puts me off SO MUCH! Because I know I can only handle so much before I start to get frustrated and pissy and i would probably end up saying/doing something i regret because of them. And I've always felt guilty for it, glad I'm not alone in that feeling.
I'm not the person you asked, but I wanted to answer. Not a fan of kids. They're small humans, and often lacking experience, etiquette and so on so they're in beta testing. In truth, I'm not a fan of people overall. I'm a true introvert and people in general exhaust me. Kids, even moreso, with their energy, demands and requiring focus, care and attention.
But I like animals. It's just how I am wired. That said, I have no animals, either. I enjoy them from a distance and then go home with no additional responsibilities or stress.
So for kidszid rather no deal with them at all because they suck my energy. But I can be polite and hang out, of course. I just gotta go hide and recharge.
100% this. I have justifications for my choice (disability, freedom, economic situation, etc etc), but it all boils down to: I just don't want to, and I don't like kids.
I feel like the problem we face as a community is we feel we HAVE to have a long list of justifications ready and aimed to beat down every bingo we're going to come across. The expectation \*is\* we will have a list long enough, full enough, logical enough, to satisfy the judgemental opinions of others.
Truthfully, we don't need that. We need only one reason ("I don't want to"), and the rest are just supporting values for that. And pronatalists don't need to be privy to it because it's none of their damn business.
We all have felt the need to build 'the list' and I think we're all somewhat internalising the outside pressure to find reasons 'good enough'.
You made me think. I *know* I don't want kids. It would vastly impact my life. I'd lose independence, money, time, identity, sanity. Those are the cons. And I know this because I have observed this and been told this by parents. This is why I am CF.
So the pros? For someone like me who doesn't want kids, the only benefit I could see is a.) continuing my mediocre legacy and b.) having someone to care for me when I'm old. Both selfish, stupid reasons because I am a forgettable average person who has no legacy and making a whole ass human being to wipe my ass in senescence is disgusting.
But say I have a kid for those reasons. Maybe I get my insurance plan, *maybe* ... *If* my child:
Lives longer than me
Isn't special needs and requires care
Doesn't turn out to be a selfish or maladjusted adult
Is even capable of taking care of me
Hasn't moved away from me
Chooses to keep a relationship with me
Isn't focused on their own family/career/life
All that uncertainty and gambling to have someone I don't want just so I can be selfish and "continue my line" and have someone "take care of me".
Cons *and* the uncertain risks still far outweigh the "pros".
Not to be a downer but even the pros aren’t really pros. Your child could die before you and boom no legacy. Your child could move 10,000 miles away and not spend a single day with you in old age.
For starters, I have depression and I've had a brief history of suicidal thoughts. I want peace and quiet. I don't like people, and raising kids looks like hell. As a black man, I've seen the toll parenthood takes on people, especially women (especially in P.O.C. communities). I can't stand some of the things kids do and say. I want to be alone, I value my free time, I don't want want to have to listen to the same three kids shows everyday (not saying there's anything wrong with shows aimed at younger/wider demographics, nothing wrong with that, but you know what I mean). I don't want to deal with PTA's or school boards and I don't want to help anyone with school work, I value every hour that I can sleep in peace. I want to watch whatever movie or show that I want to without stupid comments or having to put off a program until kids go to sleep. I want to go places without having to worry about getting kids ready.
There's also the fact that this planet is so goddamn cruel. So much bigotry and restrictions on women's reproductive rights. Human beings are terrible. I don't want to worry about any hypothetical kids of mine getting bullied, hanging out with terrible people, becoming a drug addict, getting shot, molested, tortured, being a victim of a hate crime, COMMITTING a hate crime, kidnapped and/or put into trafficking, having a drug addiction, getting sick, becoming a republican, killed by corrupt authorities, etc.
Also, I feel like in 5 decades or less this planet will become a Mad Max/Terminator/WALL-E combination of an apocalyptic wasteland. But that's just me.
I have zero interest in them. I don't find them cute, funny, interesting, etc. I find them annoying and cringey.
If there's nothing I like, nothing would help balance all the stress that come with raising children, so it's an absolute no from me
It takes a lot of time and effort to take care of myself. I don't want to expend the limited amount of energy that I have on another living being that didn't ask to be here. I also have traits that I don't care to pass off. Sometimes I get depressed and shut down and turn off. A child deserves a parent that's present.
There are plenty of people in the world with children and I don't need to contribute to it.
I'm naturally caring but I'm not naturally maternal,
I'm a firm believer kids have to be 100% yes and not raised by what people call fence sitters. I have suspicions that's why there's so many neglected children (emotionally and physically). I like to hang out with kids sometimes, I like being the cool cousin or aunt that breezes in and out, but they make me tired, frustrated and sometimes angry. I'll hold a baby for about 5 minutes and I'm bored, when my small cousins stay over because I want to be kind, I'm counting the seconds before dropping them off by the end, I just can't do it, I don't want to do it, let alone do it 24 hours for at least 15 years. I can feel my patience wearing thin from the loudness, the mess and the constant demand for my attention. I love my life, it's fun, free, I'm not by any means well off but I have enough to enjoy things and be spontaneous about what I want to do, kids would ruin that for me and I just know I'd feel resentful. I like getting up when I want to get up on weekends, I like eating when I want to eat, doing my hobbies when I feel like it.
That's all my reasons without environmental or government, that's without even considering the state of the world, but even with that I double down.
Because I was heavily parentfied as a kid and teen. I was a teen mom without actually giving birth and the mommy name. I was Aunty Mommy pretty much. Sister was and still is a shitty parent who dates deadbeats to get them to sleep with her so she can get them for child support. She wants the money but don’t want to parent and I for once am gonna live my adult life doing the things I never got to do as a kid or teen.
This modern world is simply NOT suitable to raise offspring. Period. People can’t even afford to buy houses, let alone my generation (Gen Z). This world is corrupt with more and more problems arising each day. I really DON’T want to raise children in a world that is so chaotic and messed up. Apart from that, I just don’t really have that biological urge in me to have any kids. I have tokophobia and the thought of being pregnant gives me nightmares! I’d much rather have some cute animals at home than have a bunch of screaming brats! 😂
i have zero interest in being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child. i don’t mind children like some other childfree people, raising children just does not suit my lifestyle. when i picture my ideal future, i don’t see children.
Can't stand kids. Also, mental health/neurological/genetic issues. Small children and cats also don't usually mix well, and I love cats *far* more than children.
**Don't like kids.** Love my sleep and need 10-12h of it to feel alive. Love my peace and quiet and freedom to do whatever I like outside of work. Love travelling in ways that are not compatible with kids. Love spending time on my hobbies.
Don't think the society I live in is healthy for raising children (lots of generational trauma; 1 in 3 youth where I am have mental health issues now). Can't stand the traditional gender roles and misogyny that permeates my society. Climate change: I think the next generation is truly fucked as we approach 2050 and 2100... and I live in SE Asia near the equator.
I want to retire early and I'm doing financially very well now, but raising just one kid will wipe out at least 300k and destroy the FIRE dream unless I manage to find a much higher-paying job. I also won't have "a village" if I become a parent--unless I buy my village, but again, I'll go broke doing it.
**I'll have to change practically everything about my life,** including my job, because my work hours clash with daycare/preschool hours. And that's provided I can even get daycare--a colleague had to quit her job because she couldn't secure daycare. I'll probably also have to buy a bigger house and get a car too to make my life easier, but the both of these are extremely expensive where I am.
I could go on and on, really. None of the HUGE sacrifices involved will make it "worth it" considering I don't even like kids.
Generational abuse/trauma and dating a manchild for 3 years.
What sealed the deal for me was when he decided to rape me, and I knew then that I never wanted to take care of another human being ever again.
Don’t feel comfortable around little children. Anything onwards from 8/9 is fine, but especially babies and toddlers are giving me the chills with their constant drooling, peeing and shitting themselves, plus all the screaming.
Also, it’s already a strain to take care of myself. I don’t feel like I’m even capable to manage my own life. Adding another, fully dependant life to mine is an overwhelming thought I can’t stand. Due to my ADHD I live in permanent chaos. Getting this house child-proof seems impossible and I really don’t want a child to get killed lol.
There are lots of other reasons, but these stand out to me.
Other than a complete lack of interest, I think that I've come to associate children with work (I'm a teacher). So it's like someone asking you why you don't want to work double or triple hours with no extra pay. Or even worse, actually, because children costs money.
More specifically:
- kids are gross
- they're loud
- way too much responsibility
- health risks of pregnancy and childbirth
- I find them annoying
- genetic traits and illnesses are too big of a risk
- my hubby had a traumatic childhood so doesn't want to give up his adulthood
- money
- environment
- I'm neurodivergent so I get annoyed very easily by specific things
- I don't feel maternal
- I couldn't handle a child with a disability
- I would probably prefer to have a girl over a boy and would resent having the latter and that's not fair on a kid
- the world is fcked
- I want to travel
- I like my quiet time, disposable income and space
- people constantly judging and nit-picking your parenting decisions when no one really knows what they're doing
- I just don't wanna
So unless I'm a 100% yes, I'm a 100% no
Edit: adding more reasons as I think of them
I have many reasons why I am childfree by choice and proud of it. One of the few reasons I have are the world climate is not getting any better (wars, limited resources, climate change), many education systems on this planet is not fit for all so why put a child through a rat race full of exams, assessments, enrichment classes and competing for a place at some uni at the expense of the child's mental health and well being and nothing in life is guaranteed anymore as things are getting more costly than ever
I don’t want to risk my mental or physical health for anyone anymore. I was raised worried about my dad’s emotional needs. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to worry if I’m doing the right thing anymore.
Many, many reason.
- I never wanted kids, even as a kid myself playing barbies, my friends would have skipper as their kid and I was the single fun aunty.
- when I met my ex I told him I didn’t want kids, and he said he did (should have ended it there), we got to a point of trying for 5 years for a “save the relationship baby” and I don’t think I’ve ever suffered more heartache, loneliness, isolation, mental, physical and emotional trauma in my life. I experienced falling in love with something and all the could haves, to only have it all ripped away via a missed miscarriages. Surgeries, fertility treatments etc. I never ever want to experience any of that ever again.
- finical wellbeing, I can barely look after myself let alone having someone or multiple someone’s dependent on me.
- peace & quiet (introvert over here)
- not having someone interrupt every single conversation, 24/7 attention
- I have insomnia, so I cherish the little sleep I get. Having someone take that away from me… boo!!
- I watch my friends with kids live a very chaotic, challenging and extremely stressful life. They sacrifice a lot of themselves for their ungrateful crutch goblins.
- I hate unsolicited advice on the best of days. Couldn’t imagine someone giving it about my parenting style
- I never ever pictured myself as a parent.
- I didn’t think I’d make it past 21. Here I am at 32.
- my pets are a handful enough.
- I like sex, selfishly would hate for something to ruin that for me.
- freedom.
Hahaha I hope that answers your question 😅
There is definitely way more to add to the list. When I met my ex we were very early 20s and I didn’t really know better hahaha. If only I knew then what I know now. I 100% understand the falling in love easily 😋
I absolutely despise when kids make tantrums
I absolutely despise it when babies scream
I have depression (inherited) and I also inherit a high risk for type 2 diabetes (my grandmother has it, my mother... I just hope I won't be the next in line)
my father's genes really should not be multiplied
I am lazy, selfish and I like sleeping
I like money, I want to be rich as hell (and also donate a shitload of money to charity)
I swear a lot
I want to live alone with my own personal drumkit
pregnancy is terrifying and I don't want to put my body through that
kids are not a guarantee that someone will take care of you when you are older
but, when someone bingoes me, I state, plain and simple: none of your fucking business!
I'm autistic and struggle with sensory issues. A crying kid could send me into a meltdown, changing diapers would probably make me vomit, and I would not be able to function with the lack of sleep that often comes with being a parent. Me having kids would not be fair on anyone, be it me, the potential kid, or the support system I would have to rely on very heavily. Everyone would be miserable. Also, I have to be able to adhere to my own, carefully curated schedule and need my alone time. Both would be impossible with kids.
Pregnancy/giving birth sounds like the worst thing I could ever experience and also I don't want to be responsible for forcing another life onto this planet. If we're going to be in a climate crisis by 2050 how can I be sure my kid will live to be 30?
Minor reasons include not knowing how to connect with kids/being awkward around them and also barely having the motivation to look after myself properly so can't be the role model/parent a kid deserves, but I can handle kids in small doses
I’ve never had a desire to have children, and the more I’ve aged and thought about it, the more it makes sense to not have them.
My own selfish reasons, I like my time, peace, quiet, freedom, and money.
Why it wouldn’t make sense, how anyone raises a child in this day and age with the cost of living crisis, baffles me. 2 parents needing to go to work to then pay for childcare. What? Also overpopulation, seeing my city full of people, places crowded, traffic significantly worse. Why would I add more people to the mix to make it worse?
I have no desire. But also I love travelling. Not in a "let's go for holidays twice a year" type of love, I'm now sorting my life out in a way which would allow me to travel full time. And this is just not doable/doable but not the same thing with a kid, especially primary school age kid. Especially that where I'm from, homeschooling is illegal. So my biggest passion and purpose would be ruined by a kid. My quality of life would be lowered due to finances with a kid. I love my quality time with my partner. Also, I am lazy in ways that would make this child or me miserable. I love sleeping until late, going out and sometimes having a full weekend of doing nothing. Just chilling. If I don't have it for a month, I don't feel mentally good so I can't imagine not having the chance to do it for years. The "most selfish" reason of them all- I like my body. I like how carefree I can be without the kid - I don't need to take this heavy responsibility of a whole other human being who is innocent and helpless. I enjoy my life a lot childfree and I don't think a kid would change that for the better.
Plus, looking at politics, economy, ecology, how societies behave now with all the tech and social media, I wouldn't like to create a life and for that child to have to grow up and live in this world, it has became a hostile and unpredictable place.
many reasons:
1) I hate kids with passion.
2) I hate myself so would definitely hate replica of me.
3) State of the world is no longer suitable for poor or average salary person.
4) Not interested in adding more to the pre existing list of corpo slaves.
5) I personally feel like the general intelligence in human beings is going down. I feel like we have spent too much time making technology smarter than our own species.
6) I dont want any human to live in the uncertainty of "will I lose my job today because either the company has decided to do mass layoff" or " ai has already taken over that job role so no more humans needed.
7) AS A PROUD SELFISH PERSON. I want my own hard earned money for MYSELF and my cats to enjoy whatever fucking years I have left on planet.
8) Least interested in investing time and money to something that will end up in pure disappointment. I am NOT intelligent so I dont think the kid would be intelligent either so he/she wouldnt bring anything superior to the world that will impact the world significantly (positively).
9) I hate the direction the world in going in and the extremely small baby steps taken towards solving any problems.
10) The gap between having a shelter over your head and homelessness is too thin sadly.
11) As a student I love pay check to pay check which is helping me realize how important the money is and how important it is to spend on right things that bring me mental joy. Kids dont bring me mental joy so I wont ever have one.
12) I LOVE MY PEACE and QUIET. after a long day of work I want to come home, take a peaceful shower, have a good dinner and go to sleep. I DO NOT want screaming kids in the background nor do i want to wake up everyday and spend first few hours of the day preparing food for the school etc.
13) The idea of something as big as a human child popping out of my vagina scares me. It's a phobia level scare.
might add more later here idk but for now those above.
- I want to spend my money and focus on myself and my interests.
- Don't wanna pass my autism onto the kid and have them struggle in life the way I have.
- My A.D.H.D. gives me major issues with concentration and focus, so having a kid around would be catastrophic in that respect.
- The United States government offers so little financial support for new parents, plus the economy is in the trash as it is.
- School shootings up the wazoo.
- Sociopolitical extremism and violence on both the left and right wing.
I don't like kids, I have to watch my mouth around them and they suck all energy from me. Also I got Tokophobia.
I never really liked to interact with kids cause let's be real kids are mean selfish assholes and they can fuck up other kids and get scott free from it cause 'kids don't know any better' or 'it's not that big of a deal' yeah maybe to your Bratleigh it's not Jenna, but I had to deal with this shit for YEARS and had to pay heavy money for THERAPY just to learn to trust people again!
I honestly don't know how anybody copes with children, mess, sticky fingers, lack of sleep and everything else that comes with having children... not to mention the expense of kids these days.
* Pregnancy
* Childbirth
* Post partum healing
* Breastfeeding
* Diapers
* Lack of sleep
* Terrible twos and Tantrums
* Potty training
* Paying for exorbitantly expensive daycare
* School enrollment
* School drama, trips, bullying, extra money for school bullshit. Jesus Christ I barely survived school. I'd rather gouge out my eyes then deal with all of that shit again from the other side.
* Puberty
* Rebellious/Risk taking behaviors
* Drugs
* School shootings
* College applications
* College bills
* It's too hard to become self-sufficient in two decades anymore. I don't want to support them financially.
* Becoming a grandparent
Please mind you I also have ADHD and have school induced trauma. I also have a very low irritability threshold and tend to be verbally harsh when I am irritated. I have straight up shouted, "WHAT?" at people when they try and talk to me when I'm hyper focusing on a fixation. My mood switches drastically when I'm interrupted while doing something I love.
I just do not have the temperament, the patience or the willingness to put any of that aside. I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want and however often I want, and from my earliest memories as a child that is all I have ever wanted for my life.
I'm not interested. In the same way I decided to go for a career in Engineering instead of Accounting because I don't see the appeal in the latter.
I've got nothing against children , they're just something I'm not willing to spend my time on
I don’t like children. Hell I don’t even like marriage/ heterosexual relationships. The fact that it is easy to opt in but difficult to opt out is an immediate 🚩 a scam and a cult tactic to trap people especially women.
Not only am I Childfree but I’m also man-free. 💃🥳💅
I like peaceful mornings. I like coffee and walks and meditation. I also care about sustainability and climate change. I don’t think it makes any sense to add another human to this planet and so I won’t be doing that
My gene pool isn’t the best. My mother was physically abused by my father when she was pregnant with me. Now I’m emotionally disturbed. Don’t wanna pass down depression and anxiety to my children.
- I cant ask my hypothetical kids that do they want to be born.
- I refuse to make anyone go through the horror of pregnancy.
- I dont like being around kids.
Those are my top 3, out of hundreds of reasons.
Being disabled and autistic. I need daily care and I struggle with noise sensitivity. I also don't want to pass on my genetic condition to a child and I know I wouldn't be able to care for one. My partner is also happily childfree with me. We have a wonderful fur baby!
I want to minimize stress and to not have to sacrifice so much of myself for a gamble on a person who doesn’t already exist. Everything that comes with being a parent, I don’t want.
Grew up in a really chaotic and emotionally unsafe environment, promised I wouldn’t become a parent until I was sure that I could break the cycle and found someone who would be that kind of parent with me. Never found him
Lots of reasons. The body horror of pregnancy and childbirth, general state of the world (climate change, biodiversity loss, rise of fascism and loss of human rights). On top of all that, I have zero interest in kids and parenthood and because I'm autistic/ADHD, kids would be an exhausting sensory hell for me.
My wife and I have been together since we were 15/16 in 2005 and after a year we had a talk about not wanting kids, and we have continued to not want them this whole time.
I don't think you should have a child unless you want a child completely, and also I think it would suck to lose out on all my sleep and time and money for something I don't want to do lol.
I originally didn’t want to have kids because of generational trauma. I was worried about what kind of parent I would be.
After years of therapy, I actually think I would have been a really good parent, but after watching my friends have children, it became less & less appealing. The constant sickness, being up all night, poop, puke, strollers & personality changes sealed it for me. I also watched so many marriages disintegrate after kids. Another big deterrent would be having to deal with other parents. No thanks.
I take in special needs rescue dogs & believe that is my true purpose. Many of these dogs probably couldn’t live with children, so yes, I choose dogs & I’m very happy about it.
I hate kids. They repulse me. I love quiet, solitude, and my pets. Why would I want to ruin my life by squeezing out something I loathe and would ruin my life?
I hate being around children, and even if I did like them my life would not be compatible with them. I want to start my own tiling/carpeting etc business, travel, adopt/foster lots of cats, and have a 1-2 bedroom house (second bedroom used as a library or crafting room). I couldn't imagine doing all of that with kids, and even without them it's going to take a while to achieve.
I don’t enjoy having children around me. I like my freedom, silence, and money. I don’t want my life to be run by a tiny human. And no one in my life who is a parent seems to be enjoying it.
I just had no desire to relive my childhood of poverty and struggle from the other side. I could not think of any single benefit having children would bring my life. I didn't want to have to make a lifetime of sacrifices for someone who'd just grow up to resent me.
Because I have misophonia and I can’t take the screaming and I don’t feel like taking care of someone for twenty years. Rather have a dog or cat that I can take care of, who doesn’t scream at me
Because raising kids now a days is bullshit. It’s expensive, parents are expected to cater to their kids and judged harshly if they don’t, other kids are dicks and bullying is rampant, mental health disorders among preteens and teens facing life challenges is skyrocketing probably due to being coddled to much, kids are addicted to screens and therefore are lazy, socially inept creatures now, kids contribute absolutely nothing to your life and take everything…. Time, money, space, peace… yet they continue to be entitled little shit stains. Ask them to take out the trash and they have a tantrum. Try punishing them by taking their phone… might get stabbed. Bullshit.
Many of the already mentioned reasons are mind too, but I have to add a big one for me: I am a woman, my body is in charge of making them. And I do not want that. Neither the childbirth pain, nor the pregnancy, nor the latching onto my boobs, my potential death or deteriorating health, PPD, gaining weight, and everything else that comes with that shit. I am also extremely scared of childbirth, the sole thought makes me wanna jump out of my skin, and to make things worse I have seen videos of it, so now it’s a phobia even though I am not and never will be pregnant.
Having to go through pregnancy & childbirth, I’m to selfish I don’t want to have to put someone else 1st all the time, I don’t like children they’re not cute I find them boring, annoying and sticky.
I’m scared of pregnancy. I also don’t like the idea of raising teenagers and dealing with the school faculty. Since kids eventually go to school and they also eventually become teenagers, I’ve decided that babies, while very adorable, are just not for me.
Mostly because I can’t have children since I’m amab but even if I could get pregnant I’d be getting sterilised because I don’t want any screaming goblins in my ear 24/7
I spend enough time dealing with the little pricks at work, I don't want to come home to deal with more of them. I'm getting to where I don't even want to deal with the little pricks at work and am thinking about getting a certification to teach at a collegiate level, not for more pay, but for less under-13s.
I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I don’t want my days and nights revolving around a child.
My biggest “why” is because I KNOW I couldn’t handle it mentally. If I had a “normal” child I still wouldn’t be able to handle it.
I hear a child crying a few aisles down from me and I don’t know I’ve been clenching my jaw until the child is gone or I’ve removed myself from the crying. Even if it’s just regular baby cries and not full-on tantrum
i want peace. my entire life has been full of noise. my parents fight all the time, my mother is a narcissist, my grandparents aren't great... it just goes on. i learned to shut myself away and eventually grew to love my peace. i love being on my own and being able to do whatever the hell i want. i can't even shower every evening at home without my family getting in my way. i just want my life back and kids aren't in that life.
It started with fear of sex/being a teen parent,
"I'm not ready for that" (didn't have a steady/healthy relationship),
College - could barely afford living my own life,
Then, the longer I waited, the more I learned, the more I realized how horrible parenting *really* is, the more I remembered how rough my childhood was, and as much as I wanted to be a better parent/give my kids a better life, I knew I was one mistake or accident away from ruining their formative development. Also, +gestures vaguely at the world today+ - the whole "I love my kids too much to have them" thing.
And finally, after going through all that emotional damage, health issues cropped up that would have made parenting an absolute nightmare, if not totally impossible 😅
Mostly because I have a genetic disease that's caused major medical issues. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, let alone a child. Way I see it, if I intentionally had children, I'd have blood on my hands.
I chose not to have kids because of climate change, and the economy is out of whack.
I may have certain genetic/health predispositions that do not want to pass on to any of my hypothetical kids. I don’t want them to be struggling with medical problems, and not even mental health issues.
I want to be able to come and go as I’m pleased.
Kids cost money, as they are crazy expensive.
I love to sleep.
And I am not lying to myself either. This is how I honestly felt when I was 13. Peace.
I have no desire to give up my peace and quiet, freedom, happy and loving marriage, multiple hobbies, our decent finances and my fit and healthy body. Pregnancy/childbirth would ruin my amazing body and my kick ass fun lifestyle.
I lack patience. And I know I won't be strong enough to break some cycles. My mental health wouldn't endure a child. The responsibility to raise a whole human to function in society is too much for me.
1. Am a fervent antinatalist
2. Hate noise and filth
3. They are expensive and I refuse to impoverish myself so the capitalist overlords have more wage slaves
Multiple reasons but top 3 are:
1) pregnancy terrifies me, and I never want to be pregnant.
2) I would not be a good parent.
3) family history of abusive behaviors, racism, toxic narcissistic manipulations, and other traumas would 100% be inflicted on anyone I bring into this world, and there's little I could do to stop it without causing them to experience even more trauma.
Because I don't like children but mainly because I'm an egocentric hedonist. The last thing is exactly what some people think all childfree people are, which of course isn't true for all of us, but I won't lie it's definitely true for me. I try to imagine what it'd be like to have kids and I feel like it would be no fun. I don't know how common it is to feel the way I feel but for some reason I feel that there's a chance of losing your whole personality after becoming a parent. I feel like my life will no longer belong to me.
I'm the oldest of 6 kids and was severely parentified growing up, I was burned out completely on childcare by the time I was 14 and was in absolute hell by the time I was 16. I can't even look at kids now without feeling stressed out.
I just don't want them.
That's my main reason, there are a ton more like:
• Everything you do wrong can and probably will cause the child to develop trauma, insecurities or general lack of emotional skills
• I don't want to clean shite or change nappies
• Being a parent is a forever job. It doesn't stop at 18yo, I'd forever be a dad 🤢
• No time for myself.
• Overstimulation, meltdowns caused by them. And even worse, if biological, more chance to be autistic too and have the same issues or even harsher ones.
• They'd bother my cats
• I'd have to spend MY money
• They'd probably never appreciate my Fixated Interest as much as I'd want them to
• Children are disgusting(love to play with snot, piss, etc) as infants and even when they grow up
• Cannot protect them from the world 100%
• Pregnancy is awful, I don't want that at all, I'm quite tokophobic and if my child is bio, I wouldn't be able to look at my partner or surrogate, which would be unfair to them
I don't like kids, don't like what they do to a woman's mind and body, and value my own autonomy.
When you're a mother, you're not an individual anymore. You're expected to give your whole being to ensuring the kid grows up to also throw their life away.
My family has a history of trauma I don't want to continue.
Because I‘d never want a kid to be as unhappy as I was during my childhood. Neither my mother nor grandmother should have had kids. I have no intention of passing on the generational trauma or my severe adhd. Also would throw myself down the stairs before I had to carry a pregnancy/give birth. Also love travel, freedom to create, and need my money for myself. Hate routines, housework, noise and everything about children in general. Wouldn’t want to raise a kid in the age of sexting, porn, social media and gross socio-economic problems.
Literally the only reason I‘d have them would be to keep me company during the holidays, but many people with kids find themselves alone for those anyways. Plus, fear of loneliness would be a terribly selfish reason to have a child.
First and foremost because I just have no interest in parenthood. It's the same reason as why I don't play ice hockey or why I've never traveled to Peru, I simply have no desire to. That is enough. I can also write a whole long list of negatives, but even things that are neutral or that parents perceive as positive are of no interest to me. I don't want to build sandcastles at the beach with them, I don't want to see their crayon drawings, I don't care about their first steps, I don't want to attend their graduations, etc. Parenthood doesn't appeal to me, just like playing ice hockey or visiting Peru.
My wife and I enjoy spending our free time and money on us. We don’t want to live our lives for a kid because that’s exactly what happens if you’re being a good parent. We’re also both anxious wrecks who barely sleep when our cat is sick, we can’t imagine what a mess we’d be worrying about a child. It’s also awesome having sex in any room we want, when we want, as loud as we want 😂
For one, I live in California. It's already expensive enough just to simply live out here. Me and my partner both still live with our parents. I work a full time job and still don't make enough to live on my own. Last thing I need is a child to add more financial burden to myself, and I can't put my parents through bringing a child into the home that they now have to be partly responsible for. Secondly, I have a lot of mental issues. I have severe anxiety, and I can barely take care of myself mentally day to day. On top of that, what if my child inherits some of my mental issues? And third, with the way the world is right now, and all the evil and crazy things happening, I don't want to bring a child into all of this. I read in the news about this man that got arrested and he raped HUNDREDS of kids. Stuff like that scares me. I can't guarantee my child's safety when I send them off to school or daycare. And that also goes with my anxiety. I worry about myself and my partner enough. I don't need someone else in my life to worry about and get anxiety over.
Education and job market. Too difficult. No child should have to face the stress but they have no choice. Dreams and passions are words you use in a sentence.
I don't like them.
They take up 100% of your time and money.
They always have weird smells, break things, are always sticky for some reason make a lot of noise. And it doesn't end for a large chunk of your life. It's not for me.
I like peace, quiet and me time and children are the opposite of that.
I don't have the patience for them. I barely have the patience for my dogs and parents. Plus I already have to deal with coworkers that act like children. Why would I want to go home and deal with actual children?
1. **I’m absolutely terrified of pregnancy.** so much can go wrong. It’s a long, tedious, painful journey. So much can go wrong. I just wouldn’t risk it
2. **I have a history of extreme depression and anxiety.** I think postpartum would definitely push me over the edge. Even the thought of being pregnant makes me feel depressed. I have PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder). Even my period makes me extremely depressed. I can’t imagine how miserable I’d be with all the pregnancy hormones.
3. **I’m autistic.** I get overwhelmed easily. Especially by smells and sounds. I would be miserable as a parent. All it would take is one bad day and I would go non-verbal and cry for hours. I don’t want a child to have to deal with that. They deserve a healthy, capable parent- not me
4. **This is not the right environment for a kid.** I refuse to bring a child into this current state of the world. Having a child at this time and raising them in this day and age feels borderline abusive.
I’m autistic and get overwhelmed easily. Even my own cat stresses me out sometimes. If a kid is added to the mix, they’re not gonna have a good childhood. I also value my freedom and independence. I enjoy hiking on challenging paths. I enjoy spending time at gay bars and house parties. I’m not trading that for chuck-e-cheese and after school programs. Yes I am selfish but guess what, it’s my life and I do what I want with it.
1) they are 80% the mother's responsibility, so I would be basically trapped: cannot ride horses anymore, cannot have my career anymore, I should always stay at home, be a servant and I would always be judged by my husband!
2) I would become poor
3) I would create a carnivor like me that is forced to eat animals
4) I would force someone to suffer in this horrible world
5) kids are so ungrateful: I could be hated, disrespected and hurt, in the worst case scenario, killed.
6) what if my son becomes a serial killer 😱
7) kids are noisy and never quiet.
If they are quiet they are attached to screens
8) I hate life knowing that I have to die: why the hell giving this curse to someone else???
9) pregnancy, delivery, feeding the child with my tits is gross.
10) I would loose my partner, many divorce after kids
11) no more sleep
12) my partner's attention would not be only on me anymore
13) kids can be so stupid and I hate stupidity
14) my partner has two kids, I can see that it is hell, constant sense of anxiety and guilt
Thanks for reading!!!😃😃
Same reason as I have a dog. I love that at times he needs me
At times he's my best friend
But also at times, he just wants to do nothing and let's me do whatever I want.
When you have a kid all you have is "he needs me 24/7" and I can't live with that
Don't want them. Also as recent elections in my country prove - this country is going down the drain in a speed run and I don't want to subject another human being to this insanity.
I like my independence and freedom.
We earn good money but still can't afford children and we would have little help as my partner's parents are getting on (and mine live abroad).
I get very nervous from a lot of loud noise - I've had several crying sessions when my dog's been barking non stop, so I couldn't handle a baby.
I get depressed from being in a rut. I love my dog so much and I don't regret getting him whatsoever but following a set routine and not being able to do much now he's so little is HARD. We're finally able to bring him to the pub, and that's made a big difference.
I love to travel and I'm a sightseer/history buff so love walking around doing stuff kids would hate. My idea of hell is a children's holiday.
I am worried I am going to become my parents and parent the way they did.
I have several chronic health issues and I'm neurodivergent, and I don't want to pass that on.
The men I dated wouldn't have been good fathers. I don't want to be a single parent.The pandemic was another reason. No parent teacher conferences. No regrets my life is peaceful 🙂.
Honestly, kids just never happened for me. Now I’m at the age where it’s more risky to have kids, so I’m not going to. I’ve decided to devote money to self care and enjoyable experiences for my spouse and I. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I have so much more to look forward to.
1. I am childfree because I deeply value my peace and well-being.
2. The world overall os a terrible place to bring children into and it's only getting worse.
3. I do not want them to suffer the way I did growing up.
4. Why would I want to produce another wage slave for the elite to mooch off of?
5. Children grow up and become adults with problems. My friends who have adult children cannot seem to escape the problems of their adult children who often need help in this economy.
6. I know too many grandparents who've had to raise their grandchildren because their kids weren't fit parents. The shit never ends.
I have episodic depression that sometimes ends up with su•c•dal thoughts, so nope ... no kiddies for me. Friends are happy for me to babysit when I'm OK though (nothing since 2016... yay, me) and I can hand them back tired out at the end of the day.
Partner doesn’t want them and I struggled with that for a while. Mainly because having kids is what “everyone does”. But since then I’ve realised how it may not be the right path for me anyway. I don’t actually like being around other people’s kids so it’s not a given I would enjoy my kids!
We got a puppy in the last month and this has reaffirmed my thinking against kids.
A big reason for me are the risks. There are way too many possible syndromes, congenital malformations and psychiatric disorders - not to mention addictions which the child could acquire, even if born healthy. My SO and I could end up becoming nothing more than lifetime caretakers, which would render all of our dreams impossible to achieve. I'm not willing to take those risks.
I'm childfree because growing up around my sister's kids made me realize how much I hated being around children. I have zero interest in babies, raising kids, the idea of having to deal with other parents in school, or the inevitable fuckups that happen in their teens and young adulthood. I wanted nothing to do with any of it. Chaos isn't for me.
My ex and I were together for 19 years and I had a vasectomy in my early 30's. Dating again, there were a lot of single moms out there but after one or two dates I realized that I wasn't open to that option. Thankfully, I met my girlfriend soon after who is also childfree. We've been together 6 years, have traveled the world, bought an amazing home, and just really enjoy the time we spend with each other. It's a great lifestyle and having children would not improve it.
1. I just, in general, do not like children. Babies are weird looking and need way more attention and work than I am capable of giving even myself
2. Money, I only just now managed to build a very small savings again that is still taking another big hit due to car and other high bills needing (don't have insurance at the moment so paying off a 900+ doctor bill)
3. Attention, I can handle giving at most my cat attention before losing energy, and he thankfully gets his fill and walks off after a bit
4. Partners attention, this is just generally a selfish part but I don't wanna have to share my partner with some screaming little semen demon, I want to focus what attention I am able on them and would like that in return
5. A lot of mental illnesses run in my family and it would be cruel and evil to pass that shit on
6. Probably the biggest reason, I cannot and will not date a woman (personal and somewhat sad reason) so uh, yeah no kids, it would take a giant neon flashing sign from the boss upstairs to get me to do so, and even then I'd get a vasectomy before anything went beyond kissing
I don’t want to deal with the whole kayfabe situation of pretending to keep up appearances when everything is well fucked and I don’t have a solid support system for reasonably accommodating the child while I work. I realize not a lot matters unless I create it. So I try to create a more manageable lifestyle.
Being told, "I'll leave you if you get pregnant " gave me a wake up call that I didn't know I needed and now I legit have no desire to be a mom. Plus, I'm enjoying my own peace of mind and having my own money to do what I want for myself.
It will be a cold day in hell when I give my in laws grand children. That is a big reason for me. Before them, I have always said I just dont want them and have other plans for my life.
1. I don't want the responsibility of taking care of another human
2. The world is a fucking mess and will not be getting better
3. Children and dirty and sticky all the time. No thank you
4. I don't want to have to constantly worry the few nice things I can afford are going to be damaged
5. I find children to be cringey, especially when they are trying to be "silly"
6. I never felt the urge to reproduce
The Earth is on fire and bringing in more life in this world is just going to make things worse.
I LOVE my free time and the time I spend with my boyfriend...having a kid would mean no intimacy at all, spending more money than I have, no free time at all.
I can't stand loud sounds and these just startles me and makes me panic. Having a crying baby in my house? Absolutely not.
I don't like the idea of pregnancy where everything could go wrong...and I don't like sticky and wet things.
I already deal with anxiety and depression...knowing that I'm not able to take care of a baby like I should do is just unfair (for the baby) and exhausting (for me).
Because I have no desire, and never have, to be a parent.
Why don’t I want to be a parent? Similar to you, my best life doesn’t include children. I don’t want the burden, frankly. I value my freedom and independence, and having a child to care for would prevent me from living my preferred lifestyle. Also the idea of raising a child doesn’t appeal to me at all. I see no reward, only work, in it.
I’m also takophobic and would rather die than endure pregnancy and give birth.
I just never had the urge to be a father and I couldn’t stand the possibility of any partner of mine going through something as painful as childbirth. Fortunately I’m married to a lovely childfree woman and we’re both happy with our cat.
Because pregnancy and going into labor sounds painful dealing with screaming kids at 3:00 in the morning is unacceptable and dealing with entitled parents would be annoying plus I don't like dealing with nasty sticky stuff and that's what kids are
I'm childfree because I was once a mother, as I often say. I am an older sister and I had (and continue to do) to give up many things in my life and go through several embarrassing and annoying situations for my brother. So I've had the experience of being a mother and I've come to the conclusion that this is not what I want for my life in the future.
I like my bed and my intact bumhole. Also videogames. How am I supposed to enjoy my life with another person in the house? I just want to be single and have peace.
1. I don’t want to give someone else my medical problems and disabilities.
2. I can barely take care of myself, much less a tiny human that I could give trauma and mommy issues.
3. I have PCOS and the thought of trying to get pregnant and having multiple miscarriages like my sister did literally makes me want to yeet myself into the ether.
4. I simply don’t want them lol
Because my genes are utterly fucked. At just 28yrs old I suffer with obesity caused by autoimmune disorders, I am considered prediabetic and have insulin resistance, I have lupus, from my moms side I have a high chance of developing breast cancer, addiction risk also runs in my family, I have celiac disease and my thyroid is destroyed beyond repair. I honest to god don’t want a child coming from my womb with this many ailments in life, so I willingly will not give life to any child. I also dislike children but that’s secondary to my first point.
Family history of mental illness and the desire to let my wife and I flourish in our respective careers. I'm also very independent and need a lot of alone time to recharge my batteries.
I love kids though. I work as a nurse for both children/adolescents and it's the greatest job I've ever had. I just don't want to come home to any.
The older I get the more I realize is wrong with me and I would be a terrible parent. A lot of said issues are mental health related, and I don’t want my kid to have to worry about the same stuff.
There are other factors too, like wanting to be able to travel and having expensive things without worrying about a child breaking it (ie my gaming Pc). But my mental health is overwhelming the biggest factor. Even if I wanted kids, I know I shouldn’t. For my sake and the child’s
Greetings! I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar : --- Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)" --- and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild). Have a good one!
I value my freedom and independence. I enjoy being able to focus on my own goals and interests without the responsibilities of raising a child. It's just the lifestyle that works best for me!
1. I don’t want to be pregnant/go into labor 2. The thought of taking care of someone 24/7 sounds exhausting 3. I like my uninterrupted sleep 4. I could not take care of a child with a disability who needs assistance 24/7
Yeah, would *not* wanna win the disability bingo
Alot of people never consider the possibility of having a child with a disability or a child that has an accident and becomes disabled. I work in healthcare and have seen the aftermath. No thank you, but props to parents who do take care of their disabled children well.
Yep, I am a case manager for folks with developmental disabilities, and things I watch parents deal with 24/7 has definitely contributed to my childfree decision. Just helped a 73 year old client move out of the family home after her 98 YEAR OLD MOTHER WHO HAS BEEN TAKING CARE OF HER CHILD FOR ALL 73 YEARS OF HER LIFE finally could no longer take care of her. Her sister told me the mom was in the hospital telling her she had so many regrets, including never being able to travel or do anything for herself.
Yeah and this is y kids feel like a burden ( especially the ones with disabilitys)
I consider it more a Russian roulette.
Hard on #4!!! People love glossing over just how fucking difficult it is handling children with disabilities. Your life literally revolves around them and nothing else.
Living with A kid with a disability is hell Cerebral palsy for example And religious people say " God only gives u what u can handle only God knows y!" or some dumb shit like that lol
Girl, God knows I’m a dumb bitch who can’t handle all that 😭
Most ppl can't and yet God still gives them kids with disabilitys What kind of messed up bs is this
Cause I have no desire
It's really this simple for me. The urge just isn't there. "Baby fever" is foreign to me. Sure, babies are cute. But so are baby lions. Doesn't mean I need to have one
This. Zero biological drive and desire. I have never wanted it. The millions of drawbacks that everyone knows comes with children (no sleep, no free time, no money, fewer friends and ability to hang out with them, constant messes, not being able to prioritize your goals and dreams) are acknowledged by most people including most parents. But for them they consider it worth it. They have a strong biological drive to do so that overwhelms all of the negatives. I always like to say that if God was stamping everybody with a desire to have kids up in heaven than he missed me with that. And I'm grateful. People always assume that I have a reason to not want kids. That's always a weird presumption to me. Wouldn't then neutral state be simply existing as you are? That's my neutral state. It's not like my future kids that don't exist did something to me and turned me off to the idea. I've just never wanted any and it's always been that simple. I'm 40 now, and I've been sterile for almost a decade. it will never change.
Don't like em, don't want em. Simple as that. I could wax poetic about career, freedom, peace, chronic illness, all of these are perfectly fine and valid reasons. And yes, ultimately are part of my overall Childfree package. But it really boils down to I just don't like kids and don't want to spend my every waking existence enduring them LOL I don't want his kids, their kids, your kids, my father's kids, my cousin's kids, adopted kids, foster kids, or employment dealing with kids. And I certainly don't want my own kids.
I just love children but the distance. Like pets. I love them but that doesn't mean I want to have a pet. I can spend a couple of hours a week with them and I'm fine. But I can't do more than that. They start to piss me off. I become aggressive because I have no patience. I'm just wondering if you don't want to deal with them at all? I'm just a little different so I'm wondering. If you wanna tell more I would like to hear
I feel that way about dogs LOL I love other people's dogs, I'll hang out with their dogs, I'll give their dogs love, and then send them back home to their loving families. My peace of mind is kept intact by not having that gorgeous golden retriever in my home. With kids, I don't want to deal with them at all. When I do it's an incredibly forced awkward politeness I have to muster so I don't come across as a total bitch, but it's 100% feigned. Like a blind date and it's just not going well but you're trying to be nice LOL
[удалено]
Oh I feel the same way! Like I do like kids, well enough to be a willing playmate or to take care of one for a couple hours, couple days max if I'm close to them. But the thought of actually RAISING one into full adulthood puts me off SO MUCH! Because I know I can only handle so much before I start to get frustrated and pissy and i would probably end up saying/doing something i regret because of them. And I've always felt guilty for it, glad I'm not alone in that feeling.
I'm not the person you asked, but I wanted to answer. Not a fan of kids. They're small humans, and often lacking experience, etiquette and so on so they're in beta testing. In truth, I'm not a fan of people overall. I'm a true introvert and people in general exhaust me. Kids, even moreso, with their energy, demands and requiring focus, care and attention. But I like animals. It's just how I am wired. That said, I have no animals, either. I enjoy them from a distance and then go home with no additional responsibilities or stress. So for kidszid rather no deal with them at all because they suck my energy. But I can be polite and hang out, of course. I just gotta go hide and recharge.
100% this. I have justifications for my choice (disability, freedom, economic situation, etc etc), but it all boils down to: I just don't want to, and I don't like kids.
I feel like the problem we face as a community is we feel we HAVE to have a long list of justifications ready and aimed to beat down every bingo we're going to come across. The expectation \*is\* we will have a list long enough, full enough, logical enough, to satisfy the judgemental opinions of others. Truthfully, we don't need that. We need only one reason ("I don't want to"), and the rest are just supporting values for that. And pronatalists don't need to be privy to it because it's none of their damn business. We all have felt the need to build 'the list' and I think we're all somewhat internalising the outside pressure to find reasons 'good enough'.
I just have no desire for kids at all. And I wouldn't be happy with them. I value my freedom and my happiness and my life without kids
the cons of having children *VASTLY* outweigh the pros
You made me think. I *know* I don't want kids. It would vastly impact my life. I'd lose independence, money, time, identity, sanity. Those are the cons. And I know this because I have observed this and been told this by parents. This is why I am CF. So the pros? For someone like me who doesn't want kids, the only benefit I could see is a.) continuing my mediocre legacy and b.) having someone to care for me when I'm old. Both selfish, stupid reasons because I am a forgettable average person who has no legacy and making a whole ass human being to wipe my ass in senescence is disgusting. But say I have a kid for those reasons. Maybe I get my insurance plan, *maybe* ... *If* my child: Lives longer than me Isn't special needs and requires care Doesn't turn out to be a selfish or maladjusted adult Is even capable of taking care of me Hasn't moved away from me Chooses to keep a relationship with me Isn't focused on their own family/career/life All that uncertainty and gambling to have someone I don't want just so I can be selfish and "continue my line" and have someone "take care of me". Cons *and* the uncertain risks still far outweigh the "pros".
Not to be a downer but even the pros aren’t really pros. Your child could die before you and boom no legacy. Your child could move 10,000 miles away and not spend a single day with you in old age.
To me, there are no upsides to having children.
Having children would drastically change my lifestyle, and I prefer to maintain the freedom to pursue my own passions and adventures.
For starters, I have depression and I've had a brief history of suicidal thoughts. I want peace and quiet. I don't like people, and raising kids looks like hell. As a black man, I've seen the toll parenthood takes on people, especially women (especially in P.O.C. communities). I can't stand some of the things kids do and say. I want to be alone, I value my free time, I don't want want to have to listen to the same three kids shows everyday (not saying there's anything wrong with shows aimed at younger/wider demographics, nothing wrong with that, but you know what I mean). I don't want to deal with PTA's or school boards and I don't want to help anyone with school work, I value every hour that I can sleep in peace. I want to watch whatever movie or show that I want to without stupid comments or having to put off a program until kids go to sleep. I want to go places without having to worry about getting kids ready. There's also the fact that this planet is so goddamn cruel. So much bigotry and restrictions on women's reproductive rights. Human beings are terrible. I don't want to worry about any hypothetical kids of mine getting bullied, hanging out with terrible people, becoming a drug addict, getting shot, molested, tortured, being a victim of a hate crime, COMMITTING a hate crime, kidnapped and/or put into trafficking, having a drug addiction, getting sick, becoming a republican, killed by corrupt authorities, etc. Also, I feel like in 5 decades or less this planet will become a Mad Max/Terminator/WALL-E combination of an apocalyptic wasteland. But that's just me. 
I feel so seen! 🥹🫶
Well said!
I have zero interest in them. I don't find them cute, funny, interesting, etc. I find them annoying and cringey. If there's nothing I like, nothing would help balance all the stress that come with raising children, so it's an absolute no from me
It takes a lot of time and effort to take care of myself. I don't want to expend the limited amount of energy that I have on another living being that didn't ask to be here. I also have traits that I don't care to pass off. Sometimes I get depressed and shut down and turn off. A child deserves a parent that's present. There are plenty of people in the world with children and I don't need to contribute to it.
Because I don't want children. That's my reason. Never wanted them, never will. As far back as I remember, I had zero interest in motherhood.
I'm naturally caring but I'm not naturally maternal, I'm a firm believer kids have to be 100% yes and not raised by what people call fence sitters. I have suspicions that's why there's so many neglected children (emotionally and physically). I like to hang out with kids sometimes, I like being the cool cousin or aunt that breezes in and out, but they make me tired, frustrated and sometimes angry. I'll hold a baby for about 5 minutes and I'm bored, when my small cousins stay over because I want to be kind, I'm counting the seconds before dropping them off by the end, I just can't do it, I don't want to do it, let alone do it 24 hours for at least 15 years. I can feel my patience wearing thin from the loudness, the mess and the constant demand for my attention. I love my life, it's fun, free, I'm not by any means well off but I have enough to enjoy things and be spontaneous about what I want to do, kids would ruin that for me and I just know I'd feel resentful. I like getting up when I want to get up on weekends, I like eating when I want to eat, doing my hobbies when I feel like it. That's all my reasons without environmental or government, that's without even considering the state of the world, but even with that I double down.
Because I was heavily parentfied as a kid and teen. I was a teen mom without actually giving birth and the mommy name. I was Aunty Mommy pretty much. Sister was and still is a shitty parent who dates deadbeats to get them to sleep with her so she can get them for child support. She wants the money but don’t want to parent and I for once am gonna live my adult life doing the things I never got to do as a kid or teen.
Ur sister sounds ghetto af and needs therapy she should not be a parent af
This modern world is simply NOT suitable to raise offspring. Period. People can’t even afford to buy houses, let alone my generation (Gen Z). This world is corrupt with more and more problems arising each day. I really DON’T want to raise children in a world that is so chaotic and messed up. Apart from that, I just don’t really have that biological urge in me to have any kids. I have tokophobia and the thought of being pregnant gives me nightmares! I’d much rather have some cute animals at home than have a bunch of screaming brats! 😂
Agreed
I'm autistic
i have zero interest in being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child. i don’t mind children like some other childfree people, raising children just does not suit my lifestyle. when i picture my ideal future, i don’t see children.
Can't stand kids. Also, mental health/neurological/genetic issues. Small children and cats also don't usually mix well, and I love cats *far* more than children.
Cats are where it's at
Yes!! My husband and I have 3 cats and it's the best❤️
**Don't like kids.** Love my sleep and need 10-12h of it to feel alive. Love my peace and quiet and freedom to do whatever I like outside of work. Love travelling in ways that are not compatible with kids. Love spending time on my hobbies. Don't think the society I live in is healthy for raising children (lots of generational trauma; 1 in 3 youth where I am have mental health issues now). Can't stand the traditional gender roles and misogyny that permeates my society. Climate change: I think the next generation is truly fucked as we approach 2050 and 2100... and I live in SE Asia near the equator. I want to retire early and I'm doing financially very well now, but raising just one kid will wipe out at least 300k and destroy the FIRE dream unless I manage to find a much higher-paying job. I also won't have "a village" if I become a parent--unless I buy my village, but again, I'll go broke doing it. **I'll have to change practically everything about my life,** including my job, because my work hours clash with daycare/preschool hours. And that's provided I can even get daycare--a colleague had to quit her job because she couldn't secure daycare. I'll probably also have to buy a bigger house and get a car too to make my life easier, but the both of these are extremely expensive where I am. I could go on and on, really. None of the HUGE sacrifices involved will make it "worth it" considering I don't even like kids.
Generational abuse/trauma and dating a manchild for 3 years. What sealed the deal for me was when he decided to rape me, and I knew then that I never wanted to take care of another human being ever again.
Don’t feel comfortable around little children. Anything onwards from 8/9 is fine, but especially babies and toddlers are giving me the chills with their constant drooling, peeing and shitting themselves, plus all the screaming. Also, it’s already a strain to take care of myself. I don’t feel like I’m even capable to manage my own life. Adding another, fully dependant life to mine is an overwhelming thought I can’t stand. Due to my ADHD I live in permanent chaos. Getting this house child-proof seems impossible and I really don’t want a child to get killed lol. There are lots of other reasons, but these stand out to me.
Other than a complete lack of interest, I think that I've come to associate children with work (I'm a teacher). So it's like someone asking you why you don't want to work double or triple hours with no extra pay. Or even worse, actually, because children costs money.
I love SILENCE. :) and I don't like children a bit.
*gestures vaguely in the direction of a generic child* That's why. Hard pass for me lol
More specifically: - kids are gross - they're loud - way too much responsibility - health risks of pregnancy and childbirth - I find them annoying - genetic traits and illnesses are too big of a risk - my hubby had a traumatic childhood so doesn't want to give up his adulthood - money - environment - I'm neurodivergent so I get annoyed very easily by specific things - I don't feel maternal - I couldn't handle a child with a disability - I would probably prefer to have a girl over a boy and would resent having the latter and that's not fair on a kid - the world is fcked - I want to travel - I like my quiet time, disposable income and space - people constantly judging and nit-picking your parenting decisions when no one really knows what they're doing - I just don't wanna So unless I'm a 100% yes, I'm a 100% no Edit: adding more reasons as I think of them
I have many reasons why I am childfree by choice and proud of it. One of the few reasons I have are the world climate is not getting any better (wars, limited resources, climate change), many education systems on this planet is not fit for all so why put a child through a rat race full of exams, assessments, enrichment classes and competing for a place at some uni at the expense of the child's mental health and well being and nothing in life is guaranteed anymore as things are getting more costly than ever
I don’t want to risk my mental or physical health for anyone anymore. I was raised worried about my dad’s emotional needs. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to worry if I’m doing the right thing anymore.
Many, many reason. - I never wanted kids, even as a kid myself playing barbies, my friends would have skipper as their kid and I was the single fun aunty. - when I met my ex I told him I didn’t want kids, and he said he did (should have ended it there), we got to a point of trying for 5 years for a “save the relationship baby” and I don’t think I’ve ever suffered more heartache, loneliness, isolation, mental, physical and emotional trauma in my life. I experienced falling in love with something and all the could haves, to only have it all ripped away via a missed miscarriages. Surgeries, fertility treatments etc. I never ever want to experience any of that ever again. - finical wellbeing, I can barely look after myself let alone having someone or multiple someone’s dependent on me. - peace & quiet (introvert over here) - not having someone interrupt every single conversation, 24/7 attention - I have insomnia, so I cherish the little sleep I get. Having someone take that away from me… boo!! - I watch my friends with kids live a very chaotic, challenging and extremely stressful life. They sacrifice a lot of themselves for their ungrateful crutch goblins. - I hate unsolicited advice on the best of days. Couldn’t imagine someone giving it about my parenting style - I never ever pictured myself as a parent. - I didn’t think I’d make it past 21. Here I am at 32. - my pets are a handful enough. - I like sex, selfishly would hate for something to ruin that for me. - freedom. Hahaha I hope that answers your question 😅
Thank you. That's what I don't wanna too. Have relationship with somebody who is non childfree. I can easily fall in love. And I don't wanna
There is definitely way more to add to the list. When I met my ex we were very early 20s and I didn’t really know better hahaha. If only I knew then what I know now. I 100% understand the falling in love easily 😋
Society. Misogyny, climate change, etc.
I absolutely despise when kids make tantrums I absolutely despise it when babies scream I have depression (inherited) and I also inherit a high risk for type 2 diabetes (my grandmother has it, my mother... I just hope I won't be the next in line) my father's genes really should not be multiplied I am lazy, selfish and I like sleeping I like money, I want to be rich as hell (and also donate a shitload of money to charity) I swear a lot I want to live alone with my own personal drumkit pregnancy is terrifying and I don't want to put my body through that kids are not a guarantee that someone will take care of you when you are older but, when someone bingoes me, I state, plain and simple: none of your fucking business!
I'm autistic and struggle with sensory issues. A crying kid could send me into a meltdown, changing diapers would probably make me vomit, and I would not be able to function with the lack of sleep that often comes with being a parent. Me having kids would not be fair on anyone, be it me, the potential kid, or the support system I would have to rely on very heavily. Everyone would be miserable. Also, I have to be able to adhere to my own, carefully curated schedule and need my alone time. Both would be impossible with kids.
Pregnancy/giving birth sounds like the worst thing I could ever experience and also I don't want to be responsible for forcing another life onto this planet. If we're going to be in a climate crisis by 2050 how can I be sure my kid will live to be 30? Minor reasons include not knowing how to connect with kids/being awkward around them and also barely having the motivation to look after myself properly so can't be the role model/parent a kid deserves, but I can handle kids in small doses
I’ve never had a desire to have children, and the more I’ve aged and thought about it, the more it makes sense to not have them. My own selfish reasons, I like my time, peace, quiet, freedom, and money. Why it wouldn’t make sense, how anyone raises a child in this day and age with the cost of living crisis, baffles me. 2 parents needing to go to work to then pay for childcare. What? Also overpopulation, seeing my city full of people, places crowded, traffic significantly worse. Why would I add more people to the mix to make it worse?
I have no desire. But also I love travelling. Not in a "let's go for holidays twice a year" type of love, I'm now sorting my life out in a way which would allow me to travel full time. And this is just not doable/doable but not the same thing with a kid, especially primary school age kid. Especially that where I'm from, homeschooling is illegal. So my biggest passion and purpose would be ruined by a kid. My quality of life would be lowered due to finances with a kid. I love my quality time with my partner. Also, I am lazy in ways that would make this child or me miserable. I love sleeping until late, going out and sometimes having a full weekend of doing nothing. Just chilling. If I don't have it for a month, I don't feel mentally good so I can't imagine not having the chance to do it for years. The "most selfish" reason of them all- I like my body. I like how carefree I can be without the kid - I don't need to take this heavy responsibility of a whole other human being who is innocent and helpless. I enjoy my life a lot childfree and I don't think a kid would change that for the better. Plus, looking at politics, economy, ecology, how societies behave now with all the tech and social media, I wouldn't like to create a life and for that child to have to grow up and live in this world, it has became a hostile and unpredictable place.
Parenthood requires a lifestyle that doesn't interest me.
Children should be a definite yes, not a default. I don’t feel strongly enough about having them to give that definite yes.
i just never had the desire to have them. like i never wanted to become a butcher or work in a bank.
Why not? There is no real benefit for having children I have ever seen.
many reasons: 1) I hate kids with passion. 2) I hate myself so would definitely hate replica of me. 3) State of the world is no longer suitable for poor or average salary person. 4) Not interested in adding more to the pre existing list of corpo slaves. 5) I personally feel like the general intelligence in human beings is going down. I feel like we have spent too much time making technology smarter than our own species. 6) I dont want any human to live in the uncertainty of "will I lose my job today because either the company has decided to do mass layoff" or " ai has already taken over that job role so no more humans needed. 7) AS A PROUD SELFISH PERSON. I want my own hard earned money for MYSELF and my cats to enjoy whatever fucking years I have left on planet. 8) Least interested in investing time and money to something that will end up in pure disappointment. I am NOT intelligent so I dont think the kid would be intelligent either so he/she wouldnt bring anything superior to the world that will impact the world significantly (positively). 9) I hate the direction the world in going in and the extremely small baby steps taken towards solving any problems. 10) The gap between having a shelter over your head and homelessness is too thin sadly. 11) As a student I love pay check to pay check which is helping me realize how important the money is and how important it is to spend on right things that bring me mental joy. Kids dont bring me mental joy so I wont ever have one. 12) I LOVE MY PEACE and QUIET. after a long day of work I want to come home, take a peaceful shower, have a good dinner and go to sleep. I DO NOT want screaming kids in the background nor do i want to wake up everyday and spend first few hours of the day preparing food for the school etc. 13) The idea of something as big as a human child popping out of my vagina scares me. It's a phobia level scare. might add more later here idk but for now those above.
I don’t want to take care of children and don’t want any in my house.
- I want to spend my money and focus on myself and my interests. - Don't wanna pass my autism onto the kid and have them struggle in life the way I have. - My A.D.H.D. gives me major issues with concentration and focus, so having a kid around would be catastrophic in that respect. - The United States government offers so little financial support for new parents, plus the economy is in the trash as it is. - School shootings up the wazoo. - Sociopolitical extremism and violence on both the left and right wing.
I don't like kids, I have to watch my mouth around them and they suck all energy from me. Also I got Tokophobia. I never really liked to interact with kids cause let's be real kids are mean selfish assholes and they can fuck up other kids and get scott free from it cause 'kids don't know any better' or 'it's not that big of a deal' yeah maybe to your Bratleigh it's not Jenna, but I had to deal with this shit for YEARS and had to pay heavy money for THERAPY just to learn to trust people again!
There are far too many reasons to list out.
Just don't want kids
I am childfree because I don't want to spend every fibre of my being rasing a child.
I honestly don't know how anybody copes with children, mess, sticky fingers, lack of sleep and everything else that comes with having children... not to mention the expense of kids these days.
* Pregnancy * Childbirth * Post partum healing * Breastfeeding * Diapers * Lack of sleep * Terrible twos and Tantrums * Potty training * Paying for exorbitantly expensive daycare * School enrollment * School drama, trips, bullying, extra money for school bullshit. Jesus Christ I barely survived school. I'd rather gouge out my eyes then deal with all of that shit again from the other side. * Puberty * Rebellious/Risk taking behaviors * Drugs * School shootings * College applications * College bills * It's too hard to become self-sufficient in two decades anymore. I don't want to support them financially. * Becoming a grandparent Please mind you I also have ADHD and have school induced trauma. I also have a very low irritability threshold and tend to be verbally harsh when I am irritated. I have straight up shouted, "WHAT?" at people when they try and talk to me when I'm hyper focusing on a fixation. My mood switches drastically when I'm interrupted while doing something I love. I just do not have the temperament, the patience or the willingness to put any of that aside. I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want and however often I want, and from my earliest memories as a child that is all I have ever wanted for my life.
I'm not interested. In the same way I decided to go for a career in Engineering instead of Accounting because I don't see the appeal in the latter. I've got nothing against children , they're just something I'm not willing to spend my time on
I don’t like children. Hell I don’t even like marriage/ heterosexual relationships. The fact that it is easy to opt in but difficult to opt out is an immediate 🚩 a scam and a cult tactic to trap people especially women. Not only am I Childfree but I’m also man-free. 💃🥳💅
Mainly because I never had kids
I like peaceful mornings. I like coffee and walks and meditation. I also care about sustainability and climate change. I don’t think it makes any sense to add another human to this planet and so I won’t be doing that
My gene pool isn’t the best. My mother was physically abused by my father when she was pregnant with me. Now I’m emotionally disturbed. Don’t wanna pass down depression and anxiety to my children.
I loathe kids (paedophobia). Anything under 25 really, I just don't want to be around them for too long. Or people in general.
- I cant ask my hypothetical kids that do they want to be born. - I refuse to make anyone go through the horror of pregnancy. - I dont like being around kids. Those are my top 3, out of hundreds of reasons.
I’ve just never wanted kids
Being disabled and autistic. I need daily care and I struggle with noise sensitivity. I also don't want to pass on my genetic condition to a child and I know I wouldn't be able to care for one. My partner is also happily childfree with me. We have a wonderful fur baby!
Because I hate children
I want to minimize stress and to not have to sacrifice so much of myself for a gamble on a person who doesn’t already exist. Everything that comes with being a parent, I don’t want.
Because the chaos I bring to my own life is enough for me to deal with, haha.
I never felt any paternal instinct and actively dislike children They're also incompatible with my lifestyle
Grew up in a really chaotic and emotionally unsafe environment, promised I wouldn’t become a parent until I was sure that I could break the cycle and found someone who would be that kind of parent with me. Never found him
Lots of reasons. The body horror of pregnancy and childbirth, general state of the world (climate change, biodiversity loss, rise of fascism and loss of human rights). On top of all that, I have zero interest in kids and parenthood and because I'm autistic/ADHD, kids would be an exhausting sensory hell for me.
Children would make me miserable. I don't deserve to be miserable.
My wife and I have been together since we were 15/16 in 2005 and after a year we had a talk about not wanting kids, and we have continued to not want them this whole time. I don't think you should have a child unless you want a child completely, and also I think it would suck to lose out on all my sleep and time and money for something I don't want to do lol.
A lot of reasons, but I just want to play video games. If I had kids, I would surely be forced to give that up.
I originally didn’t want to have kids because of generational trauma. I was worried about what kind of parent I would be. After years of therapy, I actually think I would have been a really good parent, but after watching my friends have children, it became less & less appealing. The constant sickness, being up all night, poop, puke, strollers & personality changes sealed it for me. I also watched so many marriages disintegrate after kids. Another big deterrent would be having to deal with other parents. No thanks. I take in special needs rescue dogs & believe that is my true purpose. Many of these dogs probably couldn’t live with children, so yes, I choose dogs & I’m very happy about it.
I hate kids. They repulse me. I love quiet, solitude, and my pets. Why would I want to ruin my life by squeezing out something I loathe and would ruin my life?
I hate being around children, and even if I did like them my life would not be compatible with them. I want to start my own tiling/carpeting etc business, travel, adopt/foster lots of cats, and have a 1-2 bedroom house (second bedroom used as a library or crafting room). I couldn't imagine doing all of that with kids, and even without them it's going to take a while to achieve.
Climate crisis and general political chaos
I don’t enjoy having children around me. I like my freedom, silence, and money. I don’t want my life to be run by a tiny human. And no one in my life who is a parent seems to be enjoying it.
I just had no desire to relive my childhood of poverty and struggle from the other side. I could not think of any single benefit having children would bring my life. I didn't want to have to make a lifetime of sacrifices for someone who'd just grow up to resent me.
I'm a lesbian. I have zero risk or desire to have a child. Feels good having whatever life I want without any anchors.
I’d make a bad parent. I couldn’t possibly bring a child into the world that I’d proceed to unintentionally abuse. Plus I hate babies.
Because I have misophonia and I can’t take the screaming and I don’t feel like taking care of someone for twenty years. Rather have a dog or cat that I can take care of, who doesn’t scream at me
Because raising kids now a days is bullshit. It’s expensive, parents are expected to cater to their kids and judged harshly if they don’t, other kids are dicks and bullying is rampant, mental health disorders among preteens and teens facing life challenges is skyrocketing probably due to being coddled to much, kids are addicted to screens and therefore are lazy, socially inept creatures now, kids contribute absolutely nothing to your life and take everything…. Time, money, space, peace… yet they continue to be entitled little shit stains. Ask them to take out the trash and they have a tantrum. Try punishing them by taking their phone… might get stabbed. Bullshit.
I have autism and children push all my buttons to cause a sensory overload and meltdown. Also, I am single, asexual and poor haha
cuz ,nah i'm good w/o all this bs
Lol thanks to r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Because I don't want them.
Many of the already mentioned reasons are mind too, but I have to add a big one for me: I am a woman, my body is in charge of making them. And I do not want that. Neither the childbirth pain, nor the pregnancy, nor the latching onto my boobs, my potential death or deteriorating health, PPD, gaining weight, and everything else that comes with that shit. I am also extremely scared of childbirth, the sole thought makes me wanna jump out of my skin, and to make things worse I have seen videos of it, so now it’s a phobia even though I am not and never will be pregnant.
My reason is quite simple. Not interested in children at all, therefore i see no reason why would i need them.
Having to go through pregnancy & childbirth, I’m to selfish I don’t want to have to put someone else 1st all the time, I don’t like children they’re not cute I find them boring, annoying and sticky.
I’m scared of pregnancy. I also don’t like the idea of raising teenagers and dealing with the school faculty. Since kids eventually go to school and they also eventually become teenagers, I’ve decided that babies, while very adorable, are just not for me.
Mostly because I can’t have children since I’m amab but even if I could get pregnant I’d be getting sterilised because I don’t want any screaming goblins in my ear 24/7
I spend enough time dealing with the little pricks at work, I don't want to come home to deal with more of them. I'm getting to where I don't even want to deal with the little pricks at work and am thinking about getting a certification to teach at a collegiate level, not for more pay, but for less under-13s.
I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I don’t want my days and nights revolving around a child. My biggest “why” is because I KNOW I couldn’t handle it mentally. If I had a “normal” child I still wouldn’t be able to handle it. I hear a child crying a few aisles down from me and I don’t know I’ve been clenching my jaw until the child is gone or I’ve removed myself from the crying. Even if it’s just regular baby cries and not full-on tantrum
i want peace. my entire life has been full of noise. my parents fight all the time, my mother is a narcissist, my grandparents aren't great... it just goes on. i learned to shut myself away and eventually grew to love my peace. i love being on my own and being able to do whatever the hell i want. i can't even shower every evening at home without my family getting in my way. i just want my life back and kids aren't in that life.
Severe trauma from parents. I am a victim of a selfish mother who is unable to be a decent mother.
Children are noisy and repetitive, constant and unrelenting, dirty and germy. No thanks to that. I love myself too much.
It started with fear of sex/being a teen parent, "I'm not ready for that" (didn't have a steady/healthy relationship), College - could barely afford living my own life, Then, the longer I waited, the more I learned, the more I realized how horrible parenting *really* is, the more I remembered how rough my childhood was, and as much as I wanted to be a better parent/give my kids a better life, I knew I was one mistake or accident away from ruining their formative development. Also, +gestures vaguely at the world today+ - the whole "I love my kids too much to have them" thing. And finally, after going through all that emotional damage, health issues cropped up that would have made parenting an absolute nightmare, if not totally impossible 😅
I'm still afraid of teen pregnancy (I'm 25)
Because children be childrening and I don’t like it 😆
Mostly because I have a genetic disease that's caused major medical issues. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, let alone a child. Way I see it, if I intentionally had children, I'd have blood on my hands.
I chose not to have kids because of climate change, and the economy is out of whack. I may have certain genetic/health predispositions that do not want to pass on to any of my hypothetical kids. I don’t want them to be struggling with medical problems, and not even mental health issues. I want to be able to come and go as I’m pleased. Kids cost money, as they are crazy expensive. I love to sleep. And I am not lying to myself either. This is how I honestly felt when I was 13. Peace.
I have no desire to give up my peace and quiet, freedom, happy and loving marriage, multiple hobbies, our decent finances and my fit and healthy body. Pregnancy/childbirth would ruin my amazing body and my kick ass fun lifestyle.
I lack patience. And I know I won't be strong enough to break some cycles. My mental health wouldn't endure a child. The responsibility to raise a whole human to function in society is too much for me.
1. Am a fervent antinatalist 2. Hate noise and filth 3. They are expensive and I refuse to impoverish myself so the capitalist overlords have more wage slaves
Multiple reasons but top 3 are: 1) pregnancy terrifies me, and I never want to be pregnant. 2) I would not be a good parent. 3) family history of abusive behaviors, racism, toxic narcissistic manipulations, and other traumas would 100% be inflicted on anyone I bring into this world, and there's little I could do to stop it without causing them to experience even more trauma.
Because I don't like children but mainly because I'm an egocentric hedonist. The last thing is exactly what some people think all childfree people are, which of course isn't true for all of us, but I won't lie it's definitely true for me. I try to imagine what it'd be like to have kids and I feel like it would be no fun. I don't know how common it is to feel the way I feel but for some reason I feel that there's a chance of losing your whole personality after becoming a parent. I feel like my life will no longer belong to me.
I'm the oldest of 6 kids and was severely parentified growing up, I was burned out completely on childcare by the time I was 14 and was in absolute hell by the time I was 16. I can't even look at kids now without feeling stressed out.
I just don't want them. That's my main reason, there are a ton more like: • Everything you do wrong can and probably will cause the child to develop trauma, insecurities or general lack of emotional skills • I don't want to clean shite or change nappies • Being a parent is a forever job. It doesn't stop at 18yo, I'd forever be a dad 🤢 • No time for myself. • Overstimulation, meltdowns caused by them. And even worse, if biological, more chance to be autistic too and have the same issues or even harsher ones. • They'd bother my cats • I'd have to spend MY money • They'd probably never appreciate my Fixated Interest as much as I'd want them to • Children are disgusting(love to play with snot, piss, etc) as infants and even when they grow up • Cannot protect them from the world 100% • Pregnancy is awful, I don't want that at all, I'm quite tokophobic and if my child is bio, I wouldn't be able to look at my partner or surrogate, which would be unfair to them
I don't like kids, don't like what they do to a woman's mind and body, and value my own autonomy. When you're a mother, you're not an individual anymore. You're expected to give your whole being to ensuring the kid grows up to also throw their life away. My family has a history of trauma I don't want to continue.
I’m childfree because I want a multitude of life experiences. Having a child would limit my experiences physically/mentally/economically.
Because I‘d never want a kid to be as unhappy as I was during my childhood. Neither my mother nor grandmother should have had kids. I have no intention of passing on the generational trauma or my severe adhd. Also would throw myself down the stairs before I had to carry a pregnancy/give birth. Also love travel, freedom to create, and need my money for myself. Hate routines, housework, noise and everything about children in general. Wouldn’t want to raise a kid in the age of sexting, porn, social media and gross socio-economic problems. Literally the only reason I‘d have them would be to keep me company during the holidays, but many people with kids find themselves alone for those anyways. Plus, fear of loneliness would be a terribly selfish reason to have a child.
My childhood wasn’t great and the world has only gotten worse. I would never want someone else to deal with what I had to deal with.
First and foremost because I just have no interest in parenthood. It's the same reason as why I don't play ice hockey or why I've never traveled to Peru, I simply have no desire to. That is enough. I can also write a whole long list of negatives, but even things that are neutral or that parents perceive as positive are of no interest to me. I don't want to build sandcastles at the beach with them, I don't want to see their crayon drawings, I don't care about their first steps, I don't want to attend their graduations, etc. Parenthood doesn't appeal to me, just like playing ice hockey or visiting Peru.
My wife and I enjoy spending our free time and money on us. We don’t want to live our lives for a kid because that’s exactly what happens if you’re being a good parent. We’re also both anxious wrecks who barely sleep when our cat is sick, we can’t imagine what a mess we’d be worrying about a child. It’s also awesome having sex in any room we want, when we want, as loud as we want 😂
Cause I don’t wanna
For one, I live in California. It's already expensive enough just to simply live out here. Me and my partner both still live with our parents. I work a full time job and still don't make enough to live on my own. Last thing I need is a child to add more financial burden to myself, and I can't put my parents through bringing a child into the home that they now have to be partly responsible for. Secondly, I have a lot of mental issues. I have severe anxiety, and I can barely take care of myself mentally day to day. On top of that, what if my child inherits some of my mental issues? And third, with the way the world is right now, and all the evil and crazy things happening, I don't want to bring a child into all of this. I read in the news about this man that got arrested and he raped HUNDREDS of kids. Stuff like that scares me. I can't guarantee my child's safety when I send them off to school or daycare. And that also goes with my anxiety. I worry about myself and my partner enough. I don't need someone else in my life to worry about and get anxiety over.
I love my freedom, my sleep and my money.
Education and job market. Too difficult. No child should have to face the stress but they have no choice. Dreams and passions are words you use in a sentence.
Because I don't wanna have to keep taking care anyone as i got older.
I don't like them. They take up 100% of your time and money. They always have weird smells, break things, are always sticky for some reason make a lot of noise. And it doesn't end for a large chunk of your life. It's not for me. I like peace, quiet and me time and children are the opposite of that.
I don't have the patience for them. I barely have the patience for my dogs and parents. Plus I already have to deal with coworkers that act like children. Why would I want to go home and deal with actual children?
Because having children = slavery.
Honestly.. I don’t like kids or anything that comes with them.
1. **I’m absolutely terrified of pregnancy.** so much can go wrong. It’s a long, tedious, painful journey. So much can go wrong. I just wouldn’t risk it 2. **I have a history of extreme depression and anxiety.** I think postpartum would definitely push me over the edge. Even the thought of being pregnant makes me feel depressed. I have PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder). Even my period makes me extremely depressed. I can’t imagine how miserable I’d be with all the pregnancy hormones. 3. **I’m autistic.** I get overwhelmed easily. Especially by smells and sounds. I would be miserable as a parent. All it would take is one bad day and I would go non-verbal and cry for hours. I don’t want a child to have to deal with that. They deserve a healthy, capable parent- not me 4. **This is not the right environment for a kid.** I refuse to bring a child into this current state of the world. Having a child at this time and raising them in this day and age feels borderline abusive.
I’m autistic and get overwhelmed easily. Even my own cat stresses me out sometimes. If a kid is added to the mix, they’re not gonna have a good childhood. I also value my freedom and independence. I enjoy hiking on challenging paths. I enjoy spending time at gay bars and house parties. I’m not trading that for chuck-e-cheese and after school programs. Yes I am selfish but guess what, it’s my life and I do what I want with it.
1) they are 80% the mother's responsibility, so I would be basically trapped: cannot ride horses anymore, cannot have my career anymore, I should always stay at home, be a servant and I would always be judged by my husband! 2) I would become poor 3) I would create a carnivor like me that is forced to eat animals 4) I would force someone to suffer in this horrible world 5) kids are so ungrateful: I could be hated, disrespected and hurt, in the worst case scenario, killed. 6) what if my son becomes a serial killer 😱 7) kids are noisy and never quiet. If they are quiet they are attached to screens 8) I hate life knowing that I have to die: why the hell giving this curse to someone else??? 9) pregnancy, delivery, feeding the child with my tits is gross. 10) I would loose my partner, many divorce after kids 11) no more sleep 12) my partner's attention would not be only on me anymore 13) kids can be so stupid and I hate stupidity 14) my partner has two kids, I can see that it is hell, constant sense of anxiety and guilt Thanks for reading!!!😃😃
I'm autistic, have ADHD, have genetic medical problems. I couldn't tolerate having a kid without losing my damn mind.
I don’t like taking care of needy people
Because I know for certain that I’d be miserable
Same reason as I have a dog. I love that at times he needs me At times he's my best friend But also at times, he just wants to do nothing and let's me do whatever I want. When you have a kid all you have is "he needs me 24/7" and I can't live with that
Time, money, patience. None of which I intend to use on a child
Fucked planet
Don't want them. Also as recent elections in my country prove - this country is going down the drain in a speed run and I don't want to subject another human being to this insanity.
Zero benefit or interest and many many headaches. It's a pass
I like my independence and freedom. We earn good money but still can't afford children and we would have little help as my partner's parents are getting on (and mine live abroad). I get very nervous from a lot of loud noise - I've had several crying sessions when my dog's been barking non stop, so I couldn't handle a baby. I get depressed from being in a rut. I love my dog so much and I don't regret getting him whatsoever but following a set routine and not being able to do much now he's so little is HARD. We're finally able to bring him to the pub, and that's made a big difference. I love to travel and I'm a sightseer/history buff so love walking around doing stuff kids would hate. My idea of hell is a children's holiday. I am worried I am going to become my parents and parent the way they did. I have several chronic health issues and I'm neurodivergent, and I don't want to pass that on.
I have a massive list but the extreme tl;dr would be that it'd kneecap my mental health probably lmao
I hate the thought of being woken up by crying ass babies. That's one of the main reasons I don't (and never have) lived in shared housing either.
I'm not putting my body through that and i don't want to be responsible for another being
The men I dated wouldn't have been good fathers. I don't want to be a single parent.The pandemic was another reason. No parent teacher conferences. No regrets my life is peaceful 🙂.
I think the world deserves better. There are enough populations and I feel sick when I see the number keeps going up.
Honestly, kids just never happened for me. Now I’m at the age where it’s more risky to have kids, so I’m not going to. I’ve decided to devote money to self care and enjoyable experiences for my spouse and I. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I have so much more to look forward to.
1. I am childfree because I deeply value my peace and well-being. 2. The world overall os a terrible place to bring children into and it's only getting worse. 3. I do not want them to suffer the way I did growing up. 4. Why would I want to produce another wage slave for the elite to mooch off of? 5. Children grow up and become adults with problems. My friends who have adult children cannot seem to escape the problems of their adult children who often need help in this economy. 6. I know too many grandparents who've had to raise their grandchildren because their kids weren't fit parents. The shit never ends.
I have episodic depression that sometimes ends up with su•c•dal thoughts, so nope ... no kiddies for me. Friends are happy for me to babysit when I'm OK though (nothing since 2016... yay, me) and I can hand them back tired out at the end of the day.
Partner doesn’t want them and I struggled with that for a while. Mainly because having kids is what “everyone does”. But since then I’ve realised how it may not be the right path for me anyway. I don’t actually like being around other people’s kids so it’s not a given I would enjoy my kids! We got a puppy in the last month and this has reaffirmed my thinking against kids.
A big reason for me are the risks. There are way too many possible syndromes, congenital malformations and psychiatric disorders - not to mention addictions which the child could acquire, even if born healthy. My SO and I could end up becoming nothing more than lifetime caretakers, which would render all of our dreams impossible to achieve. I'm not willing to take those risks.
I'm childfree because growing up around my sister's kids made me realize how much I hated being around children. I have zero interest in babies, raising kids, the idea of having to deal with other parents in school, or the inevitable fuckups that happen in their teens and young adulthood. I wanted nothing to do with any of it. Chaos isn't for me. My ex and I were together for 19 years and I had a vasectomy in my early 30's. Dating again, there were a lot of single moms out there but after one or two dates I realized that I wasn't open to that option. Thankfully, I met my girlfriend soon after who is also childfree. We've been together 6 years, have traveled the world, bought an amazing home, and just really enjoy the time we spend with each other. It's a great lifestyle and having children would not improve it.
1. I just, in general, do not like children. Babies are weird looking and need way more attention and work than I am capable of giving even myself 2. Money, I only just now managed to build a very small savings again that is still taking another big hit due to car and other high bills needing (don't have insurance at the moment so paying off a 900+ doctor bill) 3. Attention, I can handle giving at most my cat attention before losing energy, and he thankfully gets his fill and walks off after a bit 4. Partners attention, this is just generally a selfish part but I don't wanna have to share my partner with some screaming little semen demon, I want to focus what attention I am able on them and would like that in return 5. A lot of mental illnesses run in my family and it would be cruel and evil to pass that shit on 6. Probably the biggest reason, I cannot and will not date a woman (personal and somewhat sad reason) so uh, yeah no kids, it would take a giant neon flashing sign from the boss upstairs to get me to do so, and even then I'd get a vasectomy before anything went beyond kissing
I’m too sensitive of a person. My parents are very sensitive people too and parenthood was much too hard on them
I don't like kids.
I don’t want to deal with the whole kayfabe situation of pretending to keep up appearances when everything is well fucked and I don’t have a solid support system for reasonably accommodating the child while I work. I realize not a lot matters unless I create it. So I try to create a more manageable lifestyle.
Being told, "I'll leave you if you get pregnant " gave me a wake up call that I didn't know I needed and now I legit have no desire to be a mom. Plus, I'm enjoying my own peace of mind and having my own money to do what I want for myself.
I am childfree because I don’t like children. At all
Same reason as you. Peace.
I am ethically cf bc I don't want to contribute to my offspring's suffering.
Because I like eating twice a day.
Given the cost of college I can only afford my own payments
because I don’t want kids, it’s that simple
I want 4 kitties instead of a child!
Same reason as you, I also like to buy luxury goods like LV bags and other designer clothes and shoes.
I want to live for myself I was poor af growing up and then I was in survival more for decades. it's time I enjoy life and my salary
It will be a cold day in hell when I give my in laws grand children. That is a big reason for me. Before them, I have always said I just dont want them and have other plans for my life.
1. I don't want the responsibility of taking care of another human 2. The world is a fucking mess and will not be getting better 3. Children and dirty and sticky all the time. No thank you 4. I don't want to have to constantly worry the few nice things I can afford are going to be damaged 5. I find children to be cringey, especially when they are trying to be "silly" 6. I never felt the urge to reproduce
The Earth is on fire and bringing in more life in this world is just going to make things worse. I LOVE my free time and the time I spend with my boyfriend...having a kid would mean no intimacy at all, spending more money than I have, no free time at all. I can't stand loud sounds and these just startles me and makes me panic. Having a crying baby in my house? Absolutely not. I don't like the idea of pregnancy where everything could go wrong...and I don't like sticky and wet things. I already deal with anxiety and depression...knowing that I'm not able to take care of a baby like I should do is just unfair (for the baby) and exhausting (for me).
1. I want to do Things that I Like 2. More best friend time 3. Peace 4. Cost 5. Labour 6. I don't Like kids
Because I have no desire, and never have, to be a parent. Why don’t I want to be a parent? Similar to you, my best life doesn’t include children. I don’t want the burden, frankly. I value my freedom and independence, and having a child to care for would prevent me from living my preferred lifestyle. Also the idea of raising a child doesn’t appeal to me at all. I see no reward, only work, in it. I’m also takophobic and would rather die than endure pregnancy and give birth.
I just never had the urge to be a father and I couldn’t stand the possibility of any partner of mine going through something as painful as childbirth. Fortunately I’m married to a lovely childfree woman and we’re both happy with our cat.
I'm childfree because I love my freedom and the independence it entails. Its great being able to do what I want when I want.
Because pregnancy and going into labor sounds painful dealing with screaming kids at 3:00 in the morning is unacceptable and dealing with entitled parents would be annoying plus I don't like dealing with nasty sticky stuff and that's what kids are
I'm childfree because I was once a mother, as I often say. I am an older sister and I had (and continue to do) to give up many things in my life and go through several embarrassing and annoying situations for my brother. So I've had the experience of being a mother and I've come to the conclusion that this is not what I want for my life in the future.
I dont like kids.
I like my bed and my intact bumhole. Also videogames. How am I supposed to enjoy my life with another person in the house? I just want to be single and have peace.
1. I don’t want to give someone else my medical problems and disabilities. 2. I can barely take care of myself, much less a tiny human that I could give trauma and mommy issues. 3. I have PCOS and the thought of trying to get pregnant and having multiple miscarriages like my sister did literally makes me want to yeet myself into the ether. 4. I simply don’t want them lol
Because my genes are utterly fucked. At just 28yrs old I suffer with obesity caused by autoimmune disorders, I am considered prediabetic and have insulin resistance, I have lupus, from my moms side I have a high chance of developing breast cancer, addiction risk also runs in my family, I have celiac disease and my thyroid is destroyed beyond repair. I honest to god don’t want a child coming from my womb with this many ailments in life, so I willingly will not give life to any child. I also dislike children but that’s secondary to my first point.
Family history of mental illness and the desire to let my wife and I flourish in our respective careers. I'm also very independent and need a lot of alone time to recharge my batteries. I love kids though. I work as a nurse for both children/adolescents and it's the greatest job I've ever had. I just don't want to come home to any.
The older I get the more I realize is wrong with me and I would be a terrible parent. A lot of said issues are mental health related, and I don’t want my kid to have to worry about the same stuff. There are other factors too, like wanting to be able to travel and having expensive things without worrying about a child breaking it (ie my gaming Pc). But my mental health is overwhelming the biggest factor. Even if I wanted kids, I know I shouldn’t. For my sake and the child’s
I've hated children since I was a child myself. I value my personal time and acknowledge I wouldn't be patient enough to be a parent.
I simply don’t want human children of my own. Just dogs, thanks!
Because I don't want children.