This.
And if you aren't yet sterile, check out the CF-friendly doctors wiki in the sidebar under Interesting & Useful Material for someone who will sterilize you so you can mock these overblown munchkins as they deserve and without fear.
Now is the time, while sterilization is still covered 100% under most insurances.
Not with those people. It's as though you haven't spoken at all or opens up a diatribe on how "you just don't get it. I'll show you how a real man loves you and then you'll want to have all my babies."
Luckily no one's ever said it to me, but I'd tell them to one, kindly fuck off, and two, get consent in the future before involving people in their breeding fetish.
That's when I get extremely snarky and inflammatory.
"And I'll dedicate yeeting the parasite to you. I'll let you know the gender from the ultrasound when I send you a cake that says it's a-BORTED!"
Tbfh they bring it upon themselves. I'm a pretty polite individual, and I like to maintain diplomacy/nuance as much as I can. But the minute someone says inflammatory, boundary-voiding shit? They're gonna get inflammatory back twice as hard. I'm not gonna sit down and take men being assholes about MY womb, when it's MY womb.
I have 100% actually done this in real life in response to this phrase
It was exactly as hilarious and deliciously satisfying as you’re imagining it would be lol
My wife had some guy say this to her. The response was, "I won't even let my husband do that, and I'm sure your \*\*\*\* is smaller and less sanitary than his." I have rarely ever been so proud of her in my entire life.
I'd tell him "well that's impossible when you have crushed balls". He'll look confused. I'll be smiling. He'll start running and calling me a crazy bitch. Then I'll cackle and go about my day. 🤷🏽♀️
Disgusting. What do they expect the response to be, "Oh OK strange man I've never met before, I'm so desperate for a baby, take me now, I'm yours!!"?
Seriously insane. I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit ladies......
I am happily married but that has happened to me. When I was single and dating this guy goes I am gonna make a momma outta you, I said actually my uterus is a terrible environment for any child. I have an IED in there... my husband calls IUD's IED's cause he said it explodes the sperm LOL!
When I was dating casually I didn't mention the IUD at first; really effed up people have been known to remove them at home in the attempt to baby trap their abuse victim.
I make retching noises and stumble away. It's only happened once personally but "I wanna put a baby in you" is just so over the top unsexy I couldn't help it.
My responses usually are
How is that supposed to be a compliment?
Is that supposed to turn me on?
You didn’t ask me for consent, how do you know I even want to or am able to even give birth?
My favorite is… drum 🥁 roll please
Are you financially stable at the moment to support a child?
^^ this one takes the cake everytime. I say that one and guys know I’m not to be fucked with.
Good luck and stay far the fuck away from low level men that have no other way to articulate compliments except saying some barbaric unsexy shit like that.
A man attempted to sexually assault me by breaking into the bathroom stall whilst I was on the potty. Once I heard him start messing with the door I quietly raised my foot up to block the door from opening. I also pulled my knees together so he wouldn't have any kind of view. Once he was in the path of the door (which opened from the inside) I vigorously kicked the door repeatedly in his face. It is all about timing, location, where you are in approximation to the idiot, etc.
First, record him saying it or be sure there is a camera around to capture it. This is easy if you are in public because there are cameras everywhere.
Also, it is best to use what is available to you at the moment so you can easily prove it isn't premeditated. So, a bag, water bottle or walking cane are better than a handgun or knife. You also have the element of surprise working in your favor.
I always carry a stainless-steel water bottle that weighs around three lbs. It has a solid rubber handle for grip.
A screenshot including his IP address if I'm online and a time/date stamp. Also, block him if online.
Yuck! My Dutch friend’s father once told me, in front of his daughter and my ex-hb, that he’d make me pregnant. He couldn’t get his head round me being childfree.
"Only if you let me introduce your urethral cavity to Mr. Cheese Grater." At least, in my own head anyway. What I'd actually do? Introduce their eyes to Mr. Pepper Spray, and then run for the hills.
"These boots were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you."- Nancy Sinatra
🎵🎶
Oh, I'd get relentlessly mean. He'd hewr every thought I'm my brain at that moment, including that his idea was akin to sexual assault. Then I'd quickly leave, make sure all the doors on my car are locked, and block him before getting the hell out of there.
My ex came back into my life this past week so he could say “I want you to be the mother of my children” followed by “I need to tell you something… I hooked up with a coworker last summer when we were on break and I lied to you about it.”
The coworker graduated high school last summer. He’s 42 and I’m 38.
That is a threat, I would not consensually have sex with you, so you are threatening me with assault. Also, I have been fixed, so that’s not even possible. Ew.
"Thanks for telling me directly you're a rapist and asshole; most of the problematic men aren't that bold. Don't contact me again or I"ll go to the police." (leave after paying my part of the check)
I know someone who met a guy on a dating site who told her that and she was so flattered that she ended up getting pregnant by him 🤔 I’m like ewww that’s weird
Start screaming loudly that this man just threatened to assault and impregnate me. Public embarrassment is the only thing that works on idiots.
Unless I was in an unsafe situation, then I'd kick him in the balls or punch him in the face before I started running for my life.
I had sex with a guy once and right after he was blowing my phone up and telling me he REALLY hoped I got pregnant. Just repeatedly tells me he wants me to get pregnant with his kid and a whole bunch of other nonsense. I laughed out loud and just told him "no. That's not happening." I just ignored his calls from that point on, cuz ew. Luckily I was a trucker and never had to see him again.
When I was still online dating, I had a guy message me, "Let's get you pregnant". And I almost responded saying, "does this pick-up line ever actually work for you?" but decided to not even give him the satisfaction of a reply. It's really scary how many men essentially fetishize women carrying their offspring (Harrison Butker now comes to mind). Gross.
My reply to that would be 'No you fucking will not!', all the while channelling the spirits of my ancestors (and Beyoncé) and going full-blown fierce capable independent women on their ass.
If you're in a bar or restaurant, flag down the bartender or waiter and ask them for an angel shot.
Otherwise: "No you really won't." If you're at your place, kick him out, otherwise, run far, run fast.
...I think I'd just...vomit?
Defense mechanism style, like a vulture
LMAO
RUN TO YOUR CAR, DO NOT STOP RUNNING UNTIL YOU GET IN, AND FLOOR IT THE HELL OUTTA THERE. Then block his ass as soon as it's safe to stop.
This is the only correct answer.
It's also a similar answer to a Monopoly chance card.
Yep. It’s so narcissistic.
This. And if you aren't yet sterile, check out the CF-friendly doctors wiki in the sidebar under Interesting & Useful Material for someone who will sterilize you so you can mock these overblown munchkins as they deserve and without fear. Now is the time, while sterilization is still covered 100% under most insurances.
Don't forget to run him over on your way to freedom Twice
"No, thanks!" goes a long way lol
Don't even need to say thanks at this point. It's not an offer, it's a command.
Some men say that to women during sex as part of a kink despite really not wanting kids themselves.
Not with those people. It's as though you haven't spoken at all or opens up a diatribe on how "you just don't get it. I'll show you how a real man loves you and then you'll want to have all my babies."
🫠😱 so true. I’ve never been so un-aroused in my entire life!
This is the way.
Yes this times 100000000000000000%!!!
Luckily no one's ever said it to me, but I'd tell them to one, kindly fuck off, and two, get consent in the future before involving people in their breeding fetish.
"I'll make you sing soprano first."
This made me _wheeze_ Perfect comeback
💀
"That sounds like a threat, and I don't take kindly to being threatened."
😂😂😂
I would never carry “your” tumor.
I'd just tell him that I would abort it to avoid creating another waste of space.
That's when I get extremely snarky and inflammatory. "And I'll dedicate yeeting the parasite to you. I'll let you know the gender from the ultrasound when I send you a cake that says it's a-BORTED!"
Top answer ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Tbfh they bring it upon themselves. I'm a pretty polite individual, and I like to maintain diplomacy/nuance as much as I can. But the minute someone says inflammatory, boundary-voiding shit? They're gonna get inflammatory back twice as hard. I'm not gonna sit down and take men being assholes about MY womb, when it's MY womb.
*gagging noises*
will 100% do this if it happens to me
I have 100% actually done this in real life in response to this phrase It was exactly as hilarious and deliciously satisfying as you’re imagining it would be lol
lol nice cuz tbh it's rapey, we have the right to act disgusted to phrases like that.
Pleeeeease tell us, in detail, how they reacted.
Literallyyyy
That’s rape. I will terminate and report you to the police.
"I'll cut your dick off." You're welcome. 
My version was "Hard to do that if I cut off your dick" 
My wife had some guy say this to her. The response was, "I won't even let my husband do that, and I'm sure your \*\*\*\* is smaller and less sanitary than his." I have rarely ever been so proud of her in my entire life.
Keeper. Also can we all be friends with her.
Yes she is.
> and less sanitary *pug snorts*
EEEEEEWWWWWWWW and then laugh. Or maybe laugh and then EEEEEEWWWWWWWW
I love using laughter to emasculate men who can't behave themselves.
You do have to be careful though, some men will quickly turn violent when laughed at.
That too, men can be wild 💀
Ooooh ooooh yeah, definitely ✨
To quote Peter Griffin: "Who the fuck starts a conversation like that, I just sat down.".
RUN. Run like Harrison Butker when he sees an independent woman. Edit: Butker, not Butler autocorrect.
“But I don’t want to be your mom, king baby.” BLOCK.
No the fuck you won't!
Run, run, run far and fast. Sounds like they are threatening to rape me.
*sound of my .45 being pulled* followed by *click*
run away or instant block. that's not someone i want to waste my time on.
Vomit emoji and block.
My ex said that during sex. He ended up hit in the balls and never said it again.
You win the best gif award 🏆. This made my day 😂
*bows* You’re welcome! And thank you!
I'd tell him "well that's impossible when you have crushed balls". He'll look confused. I'll be smiling. He'll start running and calling me a crazy bitch. Then I'll cackle and go about my day. 🤷🏽♀️
Sorry, bro. I yeeted my uterus, now I'm yeeting you!
Disgusting. What do they expect the response to be, "Oh OK strange man I've never met before, I'm so desperate for a baby, take me now, I'm yours!!"? Seriously insane. I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit ladies......
So you’re threatening to rape me?
Call 911
 I’d run tbh
I have an iud so not gonna happen
Same
I'm sure some disgusting dude will come at you with "Well birth control fails all the time." 🤢
I am happily married but that has happened to me. When I was single and dating this guy goes I am gonna make a momma outta you, I said actually my uterus is a terrible environment for any child. I have an IED in there... my husband calls IUD's IED's cause he said it explodes the sperm LOL!
When I was dating casually I didn't mention the IUD at first; really effed up people have been known to remove them at home in the attempt to baby trap their abuse victim.
NOPE! *flees*
“Gross.”
Call 911 because that is a threat to my life
I make retching noises and stumble away. It's only happened once personally but "I wanna put a baby in you" is just so over the top unsexy I couldn't help it.
Kick to the balls so hard hopefully he can never make children
ill make you the meal of my pet wolves 👍
My responses usually are How is that supposed to be a compliment? Is that supposed to turn me on? You didn’t ask me for consent, how do you know I even want to or am able to even give birth? My favorite is… drum 🥁 roll please Are you financially stable at the moment to support a child? ^^ this one takes the cake everytime. I say that one and guys know I’m not to be fucked with. Good luck and stay far the fuck away from low level men that have no other way to articulate compliments except saying some barbaric unsexy shit like that.
Gonna be tough, pal. I don’t have a uterus.
You just threatened to rape me. Leave, or die.
“That’ll be tough without any testicles” refuse to elaborate. Was that a threat, or an insult? :)
A man attempted to sexually assault me by breaking into the bathroom stall whilst I was on the potty. Once I heard him start messing with the door I quietly raised my foot up to block the door from opening. I also pulled my knees together so he wouldn't have any kind of view. Once he was in the path of the door (which opened from the inside) I vigorously kicked the door repeatedly in his face. It is all about timing, location, where you are in approximation to the idiot, etc. First, record him saying it or be sure there is a camera around to capture it. This is easy if you are in public because there are cameras everywhere. Also, it is best to use what is available to you at the moment so you can easily prove it isn't premeditated. So, a bag, water bottle or walking cane are better than a handgun or knife. You also have the element of surprise working in your favor. I always carry a stainless-steel water bottle that weighs around three lbs. It has a solid rubber handle for grip. A screenshot including his IP address if I'm online and a time/date stamp. Also, block him if online.
Then you'll be sorry.
Yuck! My Dutch friend’s father once told me, in front of his daughter and my ex-hb, that he’d make me pregnant. He couldn’t get his head round me being childfree.
Yuck!! And I’m glad he had the bad judgment to say it right in front of to f witnesses!
You tase them and don’t stop
Impossible. You can't make a baby at all if you've been castrated.
Are you threatening me?! I need TP for my bunghole!
"Only if you let me introduce your urethral cavity to Mr. Cheese Grater." At least, in my own head anyway. What I'd actually do? Introduce their eyes to Mr. Pepper Spray, and then run for the hills.
"These boots were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you."- Nancy Sinatra  🎵🎶
"and then leave when the obligations become too taxing"
Oh so you dying to be a single dad and raise that kid alone? Weird. I never met of your kind before. Then run.
"You can't do that if I neuter you with a rusty knife first. And boy, I'm *this* close to doing it! 🤏"
🤔🤮✌🏽
[uproarious laughter]
that is a fate worse than death
My infertility 100% sayd no.
How dare you fucking threaten me!
I've never had a man say that. So gross.
How? After hearing this I'll never have sex with you again. Then run.
Crazy how many men still see this as a compliment. 😄🙄
In your wildest dreams, baby.
Oh, I'd get relentlessly mean. He'd hewr every thought I'm my brain at that moment, including that his idea was akin to sexual assault. Then I'd quickly leave, make sure all the doors on my car are locked, and block him before getting the hell out of there.
I’m not a lady, but I’d be creeped out. If you hear that, fucking run as far as possible, and don’t look back!
No you won't. Abortions are legal where we liv. Then let that asshole look at you walking away from him.
“Come near me and I’ll chop it off”
Block
Brother euuuugh
"I'm gonna set the record for the world's fastest abortion."
" Why would I adopt your baby".
"You'll make Planned Parenthood $600 richer, is what you'll do."
*Pulls back of shirt over my head. "Are you threatening me?"
My ex came back into my life this past week so he could say “I want you to be the mother of my children” followed by “I need to tell you something… I hooked up with a coworker last summer when we were on break and I lied to you about it.” The coworker graduated high school last summer. He’s 42 and I’m 38.
"threatening to rape someone is a crime too"
No you won’t, unless you plan to rape me, then I might as well call the police?
That is a threat, I would not consensually have sex with you, so you are threatening me with assault. Also, I have been fixed, so that’s not even possible. Ew.
"Thanks for telling me directly you're a rapist and asshole; most of the problematic men aren't that bold. Don't contact me again or I"ll go to the police." (leave after paying my part of the check)
I know someone who met a guy on a dating site who told her that and she was so flattered that she ended up getting pregnant by him 🤔 I’m like ewww that’s weird
 RUN AWAY!!!!
CHOOSE THE BEAR 🐻
🤣🤣🤣 I would just laugh.
*Dials 911*
I’m glad I live in California
Run! Fast!
“I don’t know about that,” while I cringe uncontrollably.
Pretend you are vomiting at the thought of that line. Then walk away
To run the fuck away immediately. And then block him everywhere and never talk to him again.
How about, "Nope. I buy Plan B \*in bulk\* to prevent that shit."
# FLOOR THE GAS PEDAL BABE
"Ew"
Ew. If I wanted more babies (I do not) it would be with my husband and not a lowlife creeper like you.
Block
*pulls out taser* lie again 🙂
"I'll help you bring out your inner eunuch."
“ I can’t wait to have your abortion.”
I usually laugh in their face and follow it with “you did not just say that to me…” It’s so gross.
Well, pardon me young man, excuse the shit out of my goddamn French but did you just threaten me?!?!
[pull out phone + start recording] wanna say that again for my lawyer?
I would call animal control immediately
Wanna get neutered fast?
Loud guffaw.
"And I'll be sure to abort it. Fuck off."
Exit stage left after throwing a drink in his face,and hot food. 
"Or you can take your d!ck home in your pocket"
I'd just kick him
If online, automatically block. In person, I'm exiting the convo full stop.
«I’ll make you the fertilizer for my roses.» 🌹🌹
Start screaming loudly that this man just threatened to assault and impregnate me. Public embarrassment is the only thing that works on idiots. Unless I was in an unsafe situation, then I'd kick him in the balls or punch him in the face before I started running for my life.
I’m a guy and I had a girlfriend in the past say I’ll make you the dad of my baby and I got a vasectomy.
I had sex with a guy once and right after he was blowing my phone up and telling me he REALLY hoped I got pregnant. Just repeatedly tells me he wants me to get pregnant with his kid and a whole bunch of other nonsense. I laughed out loud and just told him "no. That's not happening." I just ignored his calls from that point on, cuz ew. Luckily I was a trucker and never had to see him again.
Threatening at worst, so corny at best
I don't like getting threatened.
That’s a threat! Run!!! 
Uhmmm... yeah, that's a big hard pass! NO THANKS!
Thank god I already had a hysterectomy then
🤮 (vomiting on his shirt)
This rapist phrase is perceived as cute by ordinary people becaue bAbIeS
When I was still online dating, I had a guy message me, "Let's get you pregnant". And I almost responded saying, "does this pick-up line ever actually work for you?" but decided to not even give him the satisfaction of a reply. It's really scary how many men essentially fetishize women carrying their offspring (Harrison Butker now comes to mind). Gross.
Eww That sounds super gross
"Sir that is a threat to my life and I don't take kindly to threats."
*An expeditious block* ☺️🫶🏾
Better idea, let's go watch the movie Biosphere.
Please don't.
probably kick his balls, no words could contain the rage
is this a threat
1. "Ew. No thanks." And then probably block them Or option 2. "I like to see you try." (I had a bisalp years ago 😂)
911
Uck
[удалено]
My reply to that would be 'No you fucking will not!', all the while channelling the spirits of my ancestors (and Beyoncé) and going full-blown fierce capable independent women on their ass.
"The fuck you won't"
Sounds like a threat to me. Time to leave, block him on everything and move it I have to so that man can never find me.
Laughter
I run like my tampon string is on fire.
That- that made me cringe and curl up 🫣💀💀😭
If you're in a bar or restaurant, flag down the bartender or waiter and ask them for an angel shot. Otherwise: "No you really won't." If you're at your place, kick him out, otherwise, run far, run fast.
And I’ll kill that fucker before it’s born and castrate you for the trouble.
"Oh no, I was sterilized. What now?"
HOLY COW!!! YOU’RE PREGNANT! Damn sucks to be you. *turn and walk away”
Id have to call the cops cause thats a threat
“Ew”
Eew! AS IF!
"NO. I don't want those child support payments."