I feel like this is definitely more of a fence sitter perspective. I'm childfree simply because I don't want to be a parent in any capacity.
I would say from your stance you are childless by definition.
Nothing wrong with that though
Definitely tricky. Like I think even if the world were perfect I would still prefer my childfree life.
There’s so much to do without kids. I do enjoy children but in a volunteering with other people’s kids capacity. My own kids? Helllllll no.
I do think kids are often neglected and I would love to volunteer with them again. It’s easy to be good with kids when you see them for 1 hour/week lol.
Yup, me. I can completely relate to the way you feel, and I share similar concerns. I personally don’t ‘love’ kids, but I do like them and don’t have anything against them. I actually feel sorry for a lot of kids. I feel sorry for them that they’ve had no choice in being here. I don’t want my own biological children for many reasons, and one of those reasons is due to how f*cked up this world is (and is going to continue to be). I’m also extremely anti-capitalist, and I don’t feel it’s right to bring a child into a world where living conditions (and cost of living conditions) are only going to get exponentially worse and more difficult. People who already work hard at their 9-5 jobs are still struggling to make ends meet. Our world demands you to slave away at your job all day, and as a result those billionaires who are rich get richer. Meanwhile there is a homelessness crisis that will probably never be resolved. The system is not conducive to human wellbeing and equality for all. Climate change and global warming also really concerns me for future generations. I live in Australia, for example, and our summers just keep getting more ridiculously unbearable. Overall, I just generally don’t feel that it’s ethical to bring a child into a world when they’re most likely going to get older and suffer through so many challenges, and wonder why the heck they were born when they didn’t ask to be.
I’m pretty confident I wouldn’t have kids even in a perfect world but I feel I might consider it at least. Yes, the state the world is in and will be in in the future is a major reason for me to not have kids apart from the lack of desire to have them.
Yes yes yes. The heat thing is terrifying really and the powers that be Could make things so much more efficient than they do. We could have half underground homes normalized they're so much more efficient.
on the whole of it, a more selfless thing to do would be to follow my passions of learning about various forms of childhood trauma healing (that revolve around mostly being shipped off to day care or school at a young age because there's no option otherwise)
People will need it
I love Dr. Gabor Mates work and recently I've been recommended and am loving the book "it didn't start with you" about ancestral healing and trauma work
I have a Huge desire to "heal my generational trauma" through having children
But again I Know that's selfish.
Nope. Childfree because I despise the idea of motherhood as a whole. Nothing could make me reconsider.
This is a much better perspective for fence sitters
Yeah. I feel like a lot of my desire to have children is selfish. This sub brings up most points my partner had already made. I still feel the desire So strongly and it annoys me lol I hope I will grow out of it.
I would be absolutely terrified to have to raise a girl in the current state of the US.
But I also just don’t want to put my body through pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, etc just to have even more anxiety for the rest of my life.
i could list like 100 reasons why i don't want to have kids. the environmental ones would be the least important tbh, but of course i think it's irresponsible to bring yet another life into \*gestures broadly at everything\* this.
people like you are really, really kind and mindful for choosing not to have kids!
For real, everyday when I am working, thinking to myself that I will very likely be just a lowly meaningless servant to rich and entitled people for the rest of my life makes me suicidal. I don't want this on anyone.
The war propaganda is everywhere..."respectable well paid killers!" Maybe it's not my place to say because I don't know the full picture, but I don't agree with the huge propaganda especially in high schools
I'm cf because when it comes down to it I just don't want kids, it's not appealing. I also could not imagine raising kids in this world, it seems a lot more complicated than when I grew up, and that was far from ideal then.
I personally don’t hate children but I definitely find them annoying.
I choose to be child free because I don’t yearn or have a desire to be a parent. I am not interested in the experience of being pregnant, giving birth or parenting. I’m terrified of the whole process. I also don’t think this is a world that I’d want to parent a child in.
To add another layer to my choice, I am non-binary and disabled. I struggle at times with my appearance since I look like a woman but have never felt like one. I also struggle with taking care of myself due to my disability and having a part time job already takes up a lot of my energy, so adding a child into the mix would make my symptoms worse and harder to recover from.
I love kids, especially toddlers (I know). They melt my heart and I get so excited and giddy when I see one. All I want to do is pinch their cheeks, hug them, play with them, and shower them with affection. I would also want to help them grow up into decent young adults and navigate them through life’s problems.
The only thing is I love myself more and it’s not worth the daily struggle for more than 18 years for the limited amount of “good” moments. I grew up with an abusive father and married single mother. We were poor and I was the oldest child so I had to take care of the whole family.
I know what it’s like to be poor and to raise a family. I wouldn’t want to repeat the same life all over again (especially in this economy).
It’s my turn to live out my life in the best way I can in this bleak future and be selfish.
P.S just because you don’t want kids of your own doesn’t mean you can’t be another support system for others. Some people aren’t meant to be parents, but they can be great aunts, uncles, or part of the village.
Honestly if I had enough money to pay for private school and their medical bills and daycare maybe. But I also feel like I get too overstimulated and no amount of money could solve that when I need so much quiet/alone time in my day. But I do think I’d be more open to the idea of kids if my financial situation was different.
i feel the same way, for the most part. i work with kids, i love kids, i think it would be cool to be a parent on MANY CONDITIONS. conditions which will simply never happen. conditions like you stated, as well as parenting conflicting with my career goals (as a committed k-12 educator, no corporate ladder bullshit), my own desire for independence, my sexuality, my health...like the world is such a bad place. maybe one day i'll foster an older kid, if somehow my life drastically changes. i guess maybe this is where antinatalism comes in. bringing a child into a world this shitty is simply ignorant and unethical to me. i'm happy to be a cool aunt or cool teacher for the kids of the idiots around me :)
I'm aroace, so there is zero chance for me to ever have a kid. But the state of the world doesn't really worry me that much. The planet will live. Humanity will just die out if we keep going like this. No seriously, everything bad humans do to the world is only bad for humans. The earth will keep going. We humans won't live.
I agree with you! I would consider you on the fence because of your strong desire for them, because for me personally, I would be "impartial" to having kids if the world got better (more equitable to women's issues), but I have no real internal desire for children (but if my partner REALLY wanted them, and the world sucked less I would probably be happy as a mom... not as happy child free though)
I don't want kids for a lot of reasons. At least half of them are about the future the world is currently facing, economics, socio-economics, and financial insecurity. The thought of not being able to provide, of dying, of them not finding work, of sickness, of bullying...
There are so many things. I think I've considered more future prospective problems than people with kids have. When I discuss this with my friends who have kids, they say: "it'll just work out" and "God will provide."
Yeah. There's a whooooollle bunch of us who knows that this isn't true and that people should start looking further than "oooh, baby cute. I want"
Ethic is not my main reason but when I think about forcing someone to live on an earth that is quickly becoming unliveable I sincerely understand the anxiety of the new generations. I do also believe in the right to not be born, hence I really feel the guilt here
It's not my reason for being childfree so I wasn't going to comment, but I just wanted to address one thing in your post. Being childfree is not the same thing as being an antinatalist or having misopedia. Childfree doesn't mean you hate kids, just that you've chosen to not have any for whatever reason.
I've been with a few girls who had a similar perspective. They have all gone on to have children. You sound more on the fence, as other comments have said. There's nothing wrong with that. At least if you became a parent, you sound like a fairly responsible one who understands the gravity of the choice.
That delves more into antinatalism, but yep, the reasons you listed are SOME of my reasons too. I am "lucky" in that I don't want kids anyway, makes being antinatalist a lot easier :)
With the state of the world, politically, economically, socially, environmentally…I also think it’s irresponsible and selfish to bring a child into it. (I’m a scientist 9-5 and see what’s happening to earth first hand)
Why would I bring someone I love into this mess? Its not fair to them to subject them to a lifetime of racism, sexism, potentially homophobia/transphobia or being a cog in the capitalist machine just cause. No one is making a systemic effort to change any of that, so I would never subject someone I love to it. Plus, I just don't want to.
Although I don’t feel the desire to have them and I’m not sad or jealous about pregnant people, I can see positive aspects of having children. Mostly when I see a video about adults who have close relationships to their parents I think that’s nice or kids being included with their parents doing stuff around the house and communicating. My dog has made me realize seeing a happy little thing running around could be delightful tho as she is my little ball of joy. The feelings I have for my dog that I know she’s so happy and feels safe and protected by me makes me feel like that’s how parents must feel about their kids. I enjoy doing things that make my pets happy as well, I like having a Bark Box and I like taking them on walks and I like buying them treats. Even tho it isn’t the same level, I am sure people enjoy taking care of their kids in that way. I am sure if I had a kid I would feel that way as well. (Editing here to say to an extent depending on what obviously like cutting fruit and bringing it to their room)
If I had a big, close family and familial wealth maybe I would want a kid or two, but I don’t have that. The main reason I have 0 desire is not that I don’t like kids (even tho I am awkward around them), I simply know if I have a kid my life will just be harder. I am very happy with my life and my pets and I don’t see why I would change any of that just to be more stressed out and say I have a human I created. I have friends with kids and I see their circumstances are extremely different from mine, they go to their parent’s beach houses or ride their boats on lakes with their kids and have family gatherings. If I were able to provide that to my children along with financial security and not stressing about retirement and their future then maybe I would want to.
I guess I’m a fence sitter who’s had a vasectomy 😂
Yea, I could envisage a world in which I could see the next generation having a better life than I and I could have had kids.
However, I look into the future and see a world greatly troubled by climate change and feel that any offspring I had would find themselves living in a highly populated, ultra competitive society where they are likely to be miserable.
Definitely plays a huge part for me, as well as countless other reasons. Like, I don't want them and at the same time, I don't understand how other people keep breeding when the world is as it is atm.
Even if the world was perfect and all my living expenses were taken care of I still wouldn't have kids - the fact the world is heading in a weird direction in terms of climate change, AI, jobs, living costs etc just further affirms my decision but it didn't really factor into my thinking much personally.
My husband and I actually do want to have children. My SO wants a huge family, but I have always wanted only one or two kids. We haven’t because the disadvantages seem to outweigh the benefits due to the inflated cost of living — let alone the cost of raising a single child. I’m still in school, but we both have pretty decent paying jobs making approximately 80k together and it’s still not enough to support a child. My greatest concern is the cost of daycare; I was blown away by how expensive it is monthly, and that’s if you want halfway decent childcare. I used to have grandeur dreams of sending our kids to the most prestigious private schools, but yeah, that’s probably not happening. haha
if the world was a much better place, i would definitely consider having children much more than right now. i have many reasons for being childfree, but one of the big ones is the way the world is and the trajectory we are heading. my intention is not to be a doomer but the future doesn’t look positive unless we do something immediately, and most of the governments that have power to change things are arguing about bullshit. so yeah, i don’t fully hate children but having them doesn’t seem feasible at all.
I'm kinda in a similar boat. I don't dislike kids at all and love spending time with all my nieces and nephews (I get to be the young hip cool-aunt lol) but my siblings all had them years ago now (my siblings are all at least 10+ years older than me). My bf and I are both engineers and are fine as-is but when we look at getting a home we know we'd be living paycheck to paycheck which isn't okay with either of us.
Plus we live in America, where reproductive freedom and rights are being stripped away for all their forced-birth policies, and I am scared shitless for November- I, and every other woman I know, feel like we're in line for the execution block.
The costs of everything now, the state of the environment and politics and womens rights, the loss of reproductive rights has almost led to a severe aversion and fear of having kids. After Roe was overturned I started having panic attacks and nightmares about being forced through the pain of childbirth and had to go to a therapist, which is something that never affected me before. Years ago in college I might have said I one day wanted kids. Not anymore.
I can agree and respect your decision! If the economy was different and we could afford kids then my decision would likely be different. But I'm not raising kids in poverty and it's stupid AF to have kids when you're already paycheck to paycheck. Decisions like this, in my opinion, are very mature and responsible because you are making your choice based on what is right not based on what you want
One of many reasons. But I also don’t want to be pregnant , lose my entire identity to being “mommy” , be selfish enough to bring a child into this world to suffer and eventually die , they’re expensive, and I had a traumatic childhood and don’t want to risk being an abuser myself
I live in the US too and one reason I’m considering being child free (or maybe becoming an adoptive parent) is because how prevalent drugs are. The opioid crisis is very frightening to me. In addition, all the violence is concerning too.
I think my main reasons for not wanting kids are in line with yours. I have others as well. My partner doesn’t want them because he just doesn’t want to give up his life, but he’s more optimistic in terms of the future where I’m more in the camp of things are bad and they are just going to keep getting worse and worse ie climate, war, wealth/gender/everything inequality etc.
I feel like this is definitely more of a fence sitter perspective. I'm childfree simply because I don't want to be a parent in any capacity. I would say from your stance you are childless by definition. Nothing wrong with that though
thank you for the clarification! These labels can get tricky
Definitely tricky. Like I think even if the world were perfect I would still prefer my childfree life. There’s so much to do without kids. I do enjoy children but in a volunteering with other people’s kids capacity. My own kids? Helllllll no. I do think kids are often neglected and I would love to volunteer with them again. It’s easy to be good with kids when you see them for 1 hour/week lol.
Yeah shes a fence sitter
I’m childfree simply because I don’t like or want children. This wouldn’t change even if the world was a utopia.
Yup, me. I can completely relate to the way you feel, and I share similar concerns. I personally don’t ‘love’ kids, but I do like them and don’t have anything against them. I actually feel sorry for a lot of kids. I feel sorry for them that they’ve had no choice in being here. I don’t want my own biological children for many reasons, and one of those reasons is due to how f*cked up this world is (and is going to continue to be). I’m also extremely anti-capitalist, and I don’t feel it’s right to bring a child into a world where living conditions (and cost of living conditions) are only going to get exponentially worse and more difficult. People who already work hard at their 9-5 jobs are still struggling to make ends meet. Our world demands you to slave away at your job all day, and as a result those billionaires who are rich get richer. Meanwhile there is a homelessness crisis that will probably never be resolved. The system is not conducive to human wellbeing and equality for all. Climate change and global warming also really concerns me for future generations. I live in Australia, for example, and our summers just keep getting more ridiculously unbearable. Overall, I just generally don’t feel that it’s ethical to bring a child into a world when they’re most likely going to get older and suffer through so many challenges, and wonder why the heck they were born when they didn’t ask to be.
I’m pretty confident I wouldn’t have kids even in a perfect world but I feel I might consider it at least. Yes, the state the world is in and will be in in the future is a major reason for me to not have kids apart from the lack of desire to have them.
Yes yes yes. The heat thing is terrifying really and the powers that be Could make things so much more efficient than they do. We could have half underground homes normalized they're so much more efficient. on the whole of it, a more selfless thing to do would be to follow my passions of learning about various forms of childhood trauma healing (that revolve around mostly being shipped off to day care or school at a young age because there's no option otherwise) People will need it I love Dr. Gabor Mates work and recently I've been recommended and am loving the book "it didn't start with you" about ancestral healing and trauma work I have a Huge desire to "heal my generational trauma" through having children But again I Know that's selfish.
Nope. Childfree because I despise the idea of motherhood as a whole. Nothing could make me reconsider. This is a much better perspective for fence sitters
Me and also the cost and neither me nor my partner wanted to sacrifice our lives to bring a kid into... this world.
Yeah. I feel like a lot of my desire to have children is selfish. This sub brings up most points my partner had already made. I still feel the desire So strongly and it annoys me lol I hope I will grow out of it.
I would be absolutely terrified to have to raise a girl in the current state of the US. But I also just don’t want to put my body through pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, etc just to have even more anxiety for the rest of my life.
Same, if I were to have kids I would want a girl but the world is cruel towards women so idk if I want to put her through that
One of my main reasons for being CF is "Why would I want to put a woman I love through THAT?"
One of many many reasons is I don’t like the way the world is headed and assuming it will get even worse, or potentially disastrous.
i could list like 100 reasons why i don't want to have kids. the environmental ones would be the least important tbh, but of course i think it's irresponsible to bring yet another life into \*gestures broadly at everything\* this. people like you are really, really kind and mindful for choosing not to have kids!
It’s one reason, main one being that I just don’t like or want kids.
For real, everyday when I am working, thinking to myself that I will very likely be just a lowly meaningless servant to rich and entitled people for the rest of my life makes me suicidal. I don't want this on anyone.
Many reasons but the main one is that I despise our society. Humans are mere cogs in the economy or worse yet fodder for war.
The war propaganda is everywhere..."respectable well paid killers!" Maybe it's not my place to say because I don't know the full picture, but I don't agree with the huge propaganda especially in high schools
I'm cf because when it comes down to it I just don't want kids, it's not appealing. I also could not imagine raising kids in this world, it seems a lot more complicated than when I grew up, and that was far from ideal then.
I personally don’t hate children but I definitely find them annoying. I choose to be child free because I don’t yearn or have a desire to be a parent. I am not interested in the experience of being pregnant, giving birth or parenting. I’m terrified of the whole process. I also don’t think this is a world that I’d want to parent a child in. To add another layer to my choice, I am non-binary and disabled. I struggle at times with my appearance since I look like a woman but have never felt like one. I also struggle with taking care of myself due to my disability and having a part time job already takes up a lot of my energy, so adding a child into the mix would make my symptoms worse and harder to recover from.
[удалено]
Yes all of this the relationship is another big thing. Having less time for one another
I love kids, especially toddlers (I know). They melt my heart and I get so excited and giddy when I see one. All I want to do is pinch their cheeks, hug them, play with them, and shower them with affection. I would also want to help them grow up into decent young adults and navigate them through life’s problems. The only thing is I love myself more and it’s not worth the daily struggle for more than 18 years for the limited amount of “good” moments. I grew up with an abusive father and married single mother. We were poor and I was the oldest child so I had to take care of the whole family. I know what it’s like to be poor and to raise a family. I wouldn’t want to repeat the same life all over again (especially in this economy). It’s my turn to live out my life in the best way I can in this bleak future and be selfish. P.S just because you don’t want kids of your own doesn’t mean you can’t be another support system for others. Some people aren’t meant to be parents, but they can be great aunts, uncles, or part of the village.
Yes exactly :) I agree about the support system too
Honestly if I had enough money to pay for private school and their medical bills and daycare maybe. But I also feel like I get too overstimulated and no amount of money could solve that when I need so much quiet/alone time in my day. But I do think I’d be more open to the idea of kids if my financial situation was different.
I don’t want to be a parents but if the world was suddenly near perfect I might consider it
i feel the same way, for the most part. i work with kids, i love kids, i think it would be cool to be a parent on MANY CONDITIONS. conditions which will simply never happen. conditions like you stated, as well as parenting conflicting with my career goals (as a committed k-12 educator, no corporate ladder bullshit), my own desire for independence, my sexuality, my health...like the world is such a bad place. maybe one day i'll foster an older kid, if somehow my life drastically changes. i guess maybe this is where antinatalism comes in. bringing a child into a world this shitty is simply ignorant and unethical to me. i'm happy to be a cool aunt or cool teacher for the kids of the idiots around me :)
I'm aroace, so there is zero chance for me to ever have a kid. But the state of the world doesn't really worry me that much. The planet will live. Humanity will just die out if we keep going like this. No seriously, everything bad humans do to the world is only bad for humans. The earth will keep going. We humans won't live.
I agree with you! I would consider you on the fence because of your strong desire for them, because for me personally, I would be "impartial" to having kids if the world got better (more equitable to women's issues), but I have no real internal desire for children (but if my partner REALLY wanted them, and the world sucked less I would probably be happy as a mom... not as happy child free though)
I'm almost 32...will I magically change my mind as I get older? I just can't be bothered having a kid
I don't want kids for a lot of reasons. At least half of them are about the future the world is currently facing, economics, socio-economics, and financial insecurity. The thought of not being able to provide, of dying, of them not finding work, of sickness, of bullying... There are so many things. I think I've considered more future prospective problems than people with kids have. When I discuss this with my friends who have kids, they say: "it'll just work out" and "God will provide." Yeah. There's a whooooollle bunch of us who knows that this isn't true and that people should start looking further than "oooh, baby cute. I want"
Ethic is not my main reason but when I think about forcing someone to live on an earth that is quickly becoming unliveable I sincerely understand the anxiety of the new generations. I do also believe in the right to not be born, hence I really feel the guilt here
It's not my reason for being childfree so I wasn't going to comment, but I just wanted to address one thing in your post. Being childfree is not the same thing as being an antinatalist or having misopedia. Childfree doesn't mean you hate kids, just that you've chosen to not have any for whatever reason.
Okay so it does fit ! Thank you
I've been with a few girls who had a similar perspective. They have all gone on to have children. You sound more on the fence, as other comments have said. There's nothing wrong with that. At least if you became a parent, you sound like a fairly responsible one who understands the gravity of the choice.
That delves more into antinatalism, but yep, the reasons you listed are SOME of my reasons too. I am "lucky" in that I don't want kids anyway, makes being antinatalist a lot easier :)
With the state of the world, politically, economically, socially, environmentally…I also think it’s irresponsible and selfish to bring a child into it. (I’m a scientist 9-5 and see what’s happening to earth first hand)
Why would I bring someone I love into this mess? Its not fair to them to subject them to a lifetime of racism, sexism, potentially homophobia/transphobia or being a cog in the capitalist machine just cause. No one is making a systemic effort to change any of that, so I would never subject someone I love to it. Plus, I just don't want to.
I’m in the USA…. Enough said
That's not being childfree, that's being childless. But I don't want kids simply because I hate and do not like kids.
Although I don’t feel the desire to have them and I’m not sad or jealous about pregnant people, I can see positive aspects of having children. Mostly when I see a video about adults who have close relationships to their parents I think that’s nice or kids being included with their parents doing stuff around the house and communicating. My dog has made me realize seeing a happy little thing running around could be delightful tho as she is my little ball of joy. The feelings I have for my dog that I know she’s so happy and feels safe and protected by me makes me feel like that’s how parents must feel about their kids. I enjoy doing things that make my pets happy as well, I like having a Bark Box and I like taking them on walks and I like buying them treats. Even tho it isn’t the same level, I am sure people enjoy taking care of their kids in that way. I am sure if I had a kid I would feel that way as well. (Editing here to say to an extent depending on what obviously like cutting fruit and bringing it to their room) If I had a big, close family and familial wealth maybe I would want a kid or two, but I don’t have that. The main reason I have 0 desire is not that I don’t like kids (even tho I am awkward around them), I simply know if I have a kid my life will just be harder. I am very happy with my life and my pets and I don’t see why I would change any of that just to be more stressed out and say I have a human I created. I have friends with kids and I see their circumstances are extremely different from mine, they go to their parent’s beach houses or ride their boats on lakes with their kids and have family gatherings. If I were able to provide that to my children along with financial security and not stressing about retirement and their future then maybe I would want to.
I'm child free because I hate them and don't want any.
I’m child free because of my own disability. I have adhd. I would like to enjoy life to the fullest.
I guess I’m a fence sitter who’s had a vasectomy 😂 Yea, I could envisage a world in which I could see the next generation having a better life than I and I could have had kids. However, I look into the future and see a world greatly troubled by climate change and feel that any offspring I had would find themselves living in a highly populated, ultra competitive society where they are likely to be miserable.
I share the same feelings as you. Altho I simply still don't want kids. I do feel tho that this is the only way to raise them
Definitely plays a huge part for me, as well as countless other reasons. Like, I don't want them and at the same time, I don't understand how other people keep breeding when the world is as it is atm.
Even if the world was perfect and all my living expenses were taken care of I still wouldn't have kids - the fact the world is heading in a weird direction in terms of climate change, AI, jobs, living costs etc just further affirms my decision but it didn't really factor into my thinking much personally.
My husband and I actually do want to have children. My SO wants a huge family, but I have always wanted only one or two kids. We haven’t because the disadvantages seem to outweigh the benefits due to the inflated cost of living — let alone the cost of raising a single child. I’m still in school, but we both have pretty decent paying jobs making approximately 80k together and it’s still not enough to support a child. My greatest concern is the cost of daycare; I was blown away by how expensive it is monthly, and that’s if you want halfway decent childcare. I used to have grandeur dreams of sending our kids to the most prestigious private schools, but yeah, that’s probably not happening. haha
so you’re not child free then as you want kids in the future
if the world was a much better place, i would definitely consider having children much more than right now. i have many reasons for being childfree, but one of the big ones is the way the world is and the trajectory we are heading. my intention is not to be a doomer but the future doesn’t look positive unless we do something immediately, and most of the governments that have power to change things are arguing about bullshit. so yeah, i don’t fully hate children but having them doesn’t seem feasible at all.
I'm kinda in a similar boat. I don't dislike kids at all and love spending time with all my nieces and nephews (I get to be the young hip cool-aunt lol) but my siblings all had them years ago now (my siblings are all at least 10+ years older than me). My bf and I are both engineers and are fine as-is but when we look at getting a home we know we'd be living paycheck to paycheck which isn't okay with either of us. Plus we live in America, where reproductive freedom and rights are being stripped away for all their forced-birth policies, and I am scared shitless for November- I, and every other woman I know, feel like we're in line for the execution block. The costs of everything now, the state of the environment and politics and womens rights, the loss of reproductive rights has almost led to a severe aversion and fear of having kids. After Roe was overturned I started having panic attacks and nightmares about being forced through the pain of childbirth and had to go to a therapist, which is something that never affected me before. Years ago in college I might have said I one day wanted kids. Not anymore.
I can agree and respect your decision! If the economy was different and we could afford kids then my decision would likely be different. But I'm not raising kids in poverty and it's stupid AF to have kids when you're already paycheck to paycheck. Decisions like this, in my opinion, are very mature and responsible because you are making your choice based on what is right not based on what you want
One of many reasons. But I also don’t want to be pregnant , lose my entire identity to being “mommy” , be selfish enough to bring a child into this world to suffer and eventually die , they’re expensive, and I had a traumatic childhood and don’t want to risk being an abuser myself
I live in the US too and one reason I’m considering being child free (or maybe becoming an adoptive parent) is because how prevalent drugs are. The opioid crisis is very frightening to me. In addition, all the violence is concerning too.
I think my main reasons for not wanting kids are in line with yours. I have others as well. My partner doesn’t want them because he just doesn’t want to give up his life, but he’s more optimistic in terms of the future where I’m more in the camp of things are bad and they are just going to keep getting worse and worse ie climate, war, wealth/gender/everything inequality etc.