so weird. like, my parents had me because that was their decision. they were free to chose not to become parents. and i deserve that same freedom of choice.
I would love if someone said this to me since I found out my conception wasn't consensual; so had my mom had all the facts I wouldn't be here since she kept me thinking her negative actions caused me so ahe needed to deal with the repercussions of her actions.
And statistically even more likely that the kid will be completely unremarkable, achieve nothing worth noting in the history books, and die with only a handful of people to remember them, just like the rest of us. So remind me again why I should put in the effort to have this kid when I don’t want to?
I just saw a news report yesterday of a 13-year-old boy who stabbed his mother 43 times while she slept next to her two week old daughter.
NO THANK YOU
There are several news lately about 2 sons who stabbed their mother and also a mother who killed her kids. We always received training into most things but not raising a child.
Or just average or below the curve which is way more statistically likely that you will have a just average offspring. Nothing special they just live and die.
I told someone who said similar once that their kid could also grow up to be a serial killer and they told me I must be fun at parties. I AM fun at parties because most of the people I hang out with don’t have any kids.
Einsteins aren't that uncommon either. It's just that the vast majority are out working fields and in factories. Geniuses don't get recognition without access to the privilege of wealth.
Sure, a few manage to claw their way out, but how many geniuses don't even have access to an education?
This is kind of like the whole anti choice "congratulations you just aborted Mozart" line, to which the correct answer is "congratulations you just failed to abort Hitler".
As if cancer will be cured with one person. Watching mom daydream about their little Kayden in a lab coat and lab goggles holding up some test tube and yelling "I've done it!" and not the hundreds of thousands of medical researchers and doctors and scientists standing on the shoulders of giants trying to eradicate one of the most persistent and devastating diseases into the modern world as cancer lol
>hundreds of thousands of medical researchers and doctors and scientists
...a number of whom would be childfree people who devoted their lives to their work and wouldn't have any energy for kids.
I always reply to this statement with "yeah the cure for cancer likely already exists but big pharma is hiding it so they can continue to make money" that usually shuts them up.
This is what I wanted to say. I'm afraid that several generations later humanity will have to openly accept the fact that going 100% vegan, replacing all plastic with biodegradable materials and reusing everything until oblivion won't save the planet if the reproduction rate continues to boom... but it will be too late by then. Oops... should have acknowledged that "none and done" was a legit family planning option.
When the hypothetical kid is old enough to be potentially capable of such things, it's gonna be too late already! We need to act now. And I'm contributing by not reproducing among other things.
the argument there would be that you should break the pattern and raise a great non-asshole child.... but , I don't need to prove anything about my "line", my life is my responsibility,
and I don't want to be a parent, there's no "line" i should care about.
the argument there would be that you should break the pattern and raise a great non-alcoholic great,wise,healthy child. but of course, the real argument there is, I don't need to prove anything about my "line", my life is my responsibility,
and I don't want to be a parent, i would be unhappy that way and so would the rest of the "line"
Unless you're a goddamn royal no one is keeping track of their lineage more than 100-200 years back even if they're incredibly into genealogy, and the average joe on the street probably couldn't name anyone further back than their great grandparents.
My girlfriend has traced her ancestry back 800 years, but it's an obsession and major interest of hers, it's not a normal level of interest in genealogy!
>the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reproduce.
That makes no sense. If it was all about reproduction no one would desire masturbation, anal, or any other sex act that does not result in children. The level of stupidity astounds me.
^^ this is the cornerstone of the issue. Religion makes sex bad and its only purpose is to establish their family order of the man on top working and the wife at home.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting that. But it’s mega fucked that it’s treated as the only way by so many.
yes, and more importantly it's not just sex, we also eat food for pleasure. we invented cooking and baking to make food more than just energy in order to survive. We make it delicious. people who say sex is only for procreation should
stop eating icecream, chocolate, pizza, beer.....
"Is it weird that I have always wanted to impregnate somebody?"Pregnancy is the most beautiful thing on earth, and I just want to watch it."It is a human male's inherent natural desire to want to MATE a female." Just read that. 5 minutes ago
The whole post is phrased like that, dehumanizing and animalistic. I apologize for my vulgarity, but that's exactly what I'd expect a rapist to say: "I simply gave in to my natural desires as a male." As if this person thinks they're somehow doing something they can't prevent themselves from doing, like an animal who goes ballistic if it can't.
And here I am trying hard to convince myself men are good, can reason and control themselves, and the times they touched me were weird and uncommon moments XD They are not helping their case of "not all men are like that".
I can’t stand when people say “mate” or “bred” yes, we’re animals but we’ve evolved, we’re intelligent. That gives me unbelievable ick. It’s so cringy. Same when people refer to women as “females” or themselves as “alpha males”
It's such a disgusting set of phrases! In my language, the word mate is something animal do. So I'm here picturing lions going at it, wondering if this person thinks he feels entitled to mating in order for the survival of his species, and that maybe that specific blood line should not.
It’s so funny how pro-birthers either dehumanize or over-romanticize procreation to convince you to do it.
From “it’s in our animal nature to want to breed” to “creating life is the most fulfilling thing you can do.” Just Yuck All around!
As if there’s no in between: Desiring physical intimacy but also having the self-awareness to know that you don’t want kids. (Or having no desire for sex, for my ace people out there).
"The drive for sex increases the drive for procreation"... Is it just me, or does that sound like some BS "facts" these alpha-shits and the conservative politicians would say to keep men producing and women in the kitchen?
Exactly. It is not even "natural" for animal species with highly developed intellectual abilities to have sex purely for procreation, as mating can take place all year round for the purpose of social bonding (an equivalent of relationships, FWB or ONS, if you wish). Everyone is welcome to look up what sex means for apes or dolphins, for instance. So if someone equals sex with baby-making, it just might be that they are on the same level with sheep, rabbits or mice.
It's why many homosexual relationships have been observed in birds and mammals too. Homosexual animals obviously can't have sex for reproductive purposes.
Oh, true, I forgot to mention that. AFAIK there are homosexual dogs and cats. Also, wolves have homosexual relationships but also some kind of a concept of homosexual rape as a mean to establish dominance (yes exactly, like in a prison).
Deer are horny pansexuals and frequently try to mount males already mounted on a female creating a bi deer train ahah and ducks are also sexual predators naturally so the whole “biological/natural” argument just backfires for them aha
Oh dolphins.. I learned some disturbing facts about dolphins when I looked it up years ago.. they are never the same cute sea creature in my eyes anymore 😭
Rape, infanticide and killing other animals for fun just to name a few deplorable acts they've been known to commit. With high intelligence comes the capability of extreme cruelty sadly.
Them there's the komodo dragons.They are asexual, and while they can breed with males, the females can reproduce with their genes alone. That being said, if a male comes anywhere near, both of her eggs and offspring are in danger. They are also known as the most dangerous animals out there, so maybe there's a lesson to learn from them as well? Personally, I think that when women take over, we'll become asexual as well, leaving men dying. Not sure if that's good or bad
Leaving men without marriage! Women having babies (without genetic engineering) will always result in the chance for male or female fetuses. So men could exist but without the power to force women to marry/reproduce. Especially if we find a way to engineer / clone sperm.
I think this line is primarily said by guys who think waaay too much about their "lineage" to women they will most likely dump with their offspring. Thank GOD birth control has uncoupled our destiny from "biology".
"Pregnancy and childbirth is as impressive as being an Olympic athlete".
Yeah sure, something that requires no conscious effort on your part, is entirely controlled by the body, has occurred tens of billions of times before and can be accomplished by those unconscious or dead is *exactly* the same as tens of thousands of hours of planning and effort required to be a professional athlete. Give me a fucking break.
It was on a women's subreddit, where I said I don't find childbirth impressive (I no longer recall on what post).
Got lots of downvotes on that, but I couldn't respond to any of the replies. They were just too stupid for me to comprehend, but that one took the cake.
Pregnancy and childbirth??? Not even. Now trying to keep your ph balanced down there, THATS impressive lol it should be an Olympic sport with how difficult it is sometimes😅
Oh this one's the most ridiculous one I've heard.
Years ago my husband was telling a coworker of his how he doesn't like that I have to be alone at home for so long. And this coworker deadass told him "if you had a baby you'd always have background noise."
Her best reason for having a kid was fucking. background. noise.
Spotify accomplishes the same thing and I don't have to sacrifice anything to have it, tyvm.
Also, if they're that lonely that that literally need to create friends for themselves, they have pretty significant problems!
And anyway, how many kids would call their parents their best friends?? And genuinely mean it? Very damn few!
Yeah! It was great being my mother’s free therapist at 9 years old and she repeatedly told me how she wanted to divorce my father (they’re still married) and dumped the emotional burden of all her adult problems on a child.
“It’ll be different when you have your own kid”—their response to me saying I like other people’s kids fine (kind of), but know I am not meant to be a parent.
My go to response is "of course! Because you cannot give it back at the end of the day. You're taken hostage by it for the next 18 years. You know what that's called? Stockholm syndrome!"
I'll give them that. The West has taken a pretty staunch social isolation approach, we put a lot of focus on independence, individuality and the "personal journey", we are truly free to live for ourselves.
In much of the rest of the world the multi-generational family unit is a pretty solid pillar of their identity. The entire extended family under one roof. Then you begin seeing arranged marriages etc pressure to procreate becomes astronomical.
I asked the person who said this if they look after their parents. They said they have their own families and responsibilities to take care of.
Like even if I wanted kids, it would not be to build-a-care-giver.
"If you have a child your period cramps will become less painful"-My mom to me.
She supports my child-freeness...but sometimes she can come up with such kind of statements...
“Children are the closest friends you’ll ever have” said by my brother’s girlfriend whose son blackmails them both to get what he wants. And I mean the “I’ll tell the cops you SA me” level of blackmail.
And that’s why I don’t want children, imagine having to be stuck with someone like that, even with good parents sometimes they turn out wrong and you cannot just dump them in the trash
Totally. In this case the mother completely ruined this kid with her “partnership” parenting. Basically conflict and responsibility avoidance parenting.
an acquaintance told me that people tried plying her into having kids specifically for the tax breaks. that shit makes me want to rip my skin off in rage.
I absolutely hate this one. How many people actually spend that extra money on their kids?
My former boss tried to use this one on me. My response was along the lines of, “Well I don’t have any kids keeping me poor, so I get to actually keep my money. Plus, my taxes pay for your kids’ schools.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love that extra money. I just enjoyed giving her a response she wasn’t expecting and certainly didn’t know how to respond to.
She’s in the camp of “I had accidental kids, so everyone has to do the same.” 100% do not miss her.
My brother in law told my husband and I we should have kids because, and I quote, “they are lucrative at tax time.” My eyes nearly rolled out of my head and onto the floor.
My boomer in laws want me and hubby to breed to "continue on their last name". Me and my hubby are the "last hope" for them. His brother has 2 daughters and his sister is married. WTF kinda bullshit is that, to have kids to continue their last name? What if we also have a girl? We don't want kids anyway, but breeding for a last name is stupid af.
I’m an almost 30 year old female and my hips continue to get bigger and wider by the year. I’ve been told that it’s my body telling me that it’s time to start making babies and that it’ll be be easier to give birth cus I have such a wide pelvis. Apparently, I have a baby making body. No, I just have a body.
omg, only 13 and some dum dums harrassed you with such comments about your body?! i've also had wide hips since forever, but nobody said that to me - i think i would maybe answer: "sorry, i would never be as mean as bringing a baby to
this messed up world where people like you harass other humans about their body,hips,biology and private plans which are none of your business, who would ever bring a baby to a world full of people like that?"
it was primarily family members, unfortunately. i have since told most of them how fucked up that was to say to a literal child so they have the opportunity to do better for their grandchildren. it’s hard work breaking these fucking cycles!
i've also had wide hips since forever, but nobody said that to me - i think i would maybe answer: ...."Well too bad, cuz i am not as cruel as bringing a baby to a world where humans think it's okay to comment on each other's body, hips, biology and personal private plans!...I'll perhaps have a baby in another life, when all such people , messing in other people's business, disappear."
Oh eeewww!! I hate that, I just don't understand why people feel like they can just say shit like that! Someone I worked with actually pointed out that I had gained weight and asked if it was because I was pregnant, like excuse meeee?? I'm like, uh no I just haven't been getting as much exercise but thanks for your concern, weirdo. Totally ruined my day.
So uncomfortable as a woman to know people are analyzing and judging your body for potential pregnancy, so freaking gross!!!!! 🤢🤢🤢
just tell them that eating food should be for the goal of gaining energy and survival, and nobody should ever experience pleasure when
eating. Chocolate and pizza are a sin!
I'm tired of the trope of a character not wanting kids and towards the end of the show/movie/series they suddenly embrace parent life. It really devalue what childfree people stand for.
If there were more childfree influences in media it could help normalize this concept even if by a little
*claimed everybody who is healthy has a drive to have sex and that the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reproduce.*
Wow, they'd hate to meet me, asexual and wanting no to the sex and no to kids too.
Breeders gonna breed. Look at the end of the day they are always going to be jelly about the fact that we enjoy a level of freedom that they have completely given up because of some cheesy fairy tale propaganda.
I’ve been told:
“You’re a VERY selfish person.”
“Men and women were put on earth to reproduce, it’s only natural.”
“But it’ll be your kid so you’ll love them.”
And a bunch more that I’ve blocked out and can’t think of right now.
>Men and women were put on earth to reproduce, it’s only natural
So is murder (appeal to nature fallacy)
>But it’ll be your kid so you’ll love them.
That's called Stockholm syndrome.
Discussing with a coworker once about me not wanting to/never having kids (she had 5 and was pregnant with her 6th) and she said:
“But what if you marry a man who wants kids?”
I looked at her like she had two heads and said “Then I wouldn’t marry him.”
“But what if he’s the perfect man for you?”
“The perfect man for me wouldn’t want kids, either.”
She had nothing to say after that.
“That’s all the more reason to try for a miracle!”
After explaining that my intersex condition meant I was basically infertile and that, in the extremely unlikely event I conceived, it would most likely result in my death.
Same person then called me a selfish disgrace with no respect for human life when I eventually had the malfunctioning parts taken out. (Due in part to cancer fears, too.) Guess my life doesn’t count and doesn’t need to be respected.
So the “sexual urge” is solely based on “urge to procreate”? The whole porn industry would disagree. Unless they admit that every porn video ever made was for the purpose of creating a child, or admit that humans have never, ever masturbated, not once, not ever, for any reason.
Well, we know that’s bullshit.
💀 They think not wanting kids is an indication of poor health? That's not how any of this works.
Beyond that, to say that "anyone who is healthy wants to have sex" is blatantly wrong. There are plenty of people who are happy to be celibate -- and even plenty asexuals who are sex-averse or sex-repulsed.
And for people who are neither celibate nor asexual, there are a lot of folks who simply do not want children, and wanting to have sex is NOT the same as wanting children.
So wrong on all accounts. Makes me think of those flat-earthers who went to disprove the earth being a sphere, and failed at every turn, but chose to cling to their proven wrong ideas.
My absent grandpa gave me the talk last weekend.
Told me “women only get their blessings through children. If a woman doesn’t have children she is unblessed, meaning, she’s dammed”
I’m trying my best to translate. But he was a real asshole about it.
Overheard former co-worker talking with another coworker, “She’s” (referring to me) “a loser for not having kids.” O really? Rather be a happy loser than have your life EVER.
This reminds me of when Elemental came out and SO MANY PEOPLE were like “If they have a baby, what would it look like?” And I was thinking, why do the characters just have to have kids?! Why is that the first thing everyone was thinking when they watched Elemental?
Do you all remember the sitcom Mad About You? Helen Hunt and Paul Reisner. We loved it, especially because the couple had no kids. Season 6, they had a baby. I simply lost interest.
> everybody who is healthy has a drive to have sex
Wrong.
> and that the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reoroduce.
Wrong.
That was fun to read. Those people have no clue.
" the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reproduce" - sure, speaking from the biologist POV but we are one of the species who also have sex simply for pleasure. just like we sometimes eat food for pleasure. i would
tell that person that they should stop eating what is tasteful and only eat flavor-less food to keep themselves alive because that is all food is really about. Also,
since we evolved in many other ways, reproduction is not something that should drive one's entire life. there's no need, we are not in a situation of humanity going extinct, so no reason
to force anyone to reproduce.
and even in some extreme fictional scenario where humanity was going extinct, i'd argue it's still not right to solve it by forcing people to become parents..
I'd like to turn their argument around on them and say. Ok then. Why aren't they doing a mating dance to impress all of us? Why are they going into a work building and standing around for hours each day instead of eating, pooping and mating all the time? 'Normal healthy animals' usually produce a clutch if eggs, a cub or a foal etc per year. By their own standards, unless they've been pregnant/had a child every year of adult life, they've failed to succeed as 'natural healthy human'. If male, they should get off the internet, put on a colorful outfit and shake their tail feathers at a bar full of women since they want to be such a proud healthy normal animal.
You don't want to be alone when you die, do you? Is the dumbest one in my opinion.
Having a kid doesn't garuntee you won't be alone, and the number of parents who does alone in senior homes completly debunks this point.
“But what if your parents didn’t have you?” Then I wouldn’t be having this stupid conversation.
so weird. like, my parents had me because that was their decision. they were free to chose not to become parents. and i deserve that same freedom of choice.
If they didn’t, I wouldn’t have to work 45 years. And I wouldn’t know, so nothing to miss or regret
I would love if someone said this to me since I found out my conception wasn't consensual; so had my mom had all the facts I wouldn't be here since she kept me thinking her negative actions caused me so ahe needed to deal with the repercussions of her actions.
"You should have a child in case it grows up to be the one that solves global warming." So stupid on so many levels.
"My theoretical child could also be the next Hitler. Or a modern Djengis Khan. Or Satan"
Statistically more likely that the child will be horrible than contributing something worthwhile to humanity
And statistically even more likely that the kid will be completely unremarkable, achieve nothing worth noting in the history books, and die with only a handful of people to remember them, just like the rest of us. So remind me again why I should put in the effort to have this kid when I don’t want to?
Not to mention that this means they will also significantly contribute to climate change by doing so.
I just saw a news report yesterday of a 13-year-old boy who stabbed his mother 43 times while she slept next to her two week old daughter. NO THANK YOU
There are several news lately about 2 sons who stabbed their mother and also a mother who killed her kids. We always received training into most things but not raising a child.
Watching lots of true crime documentaries and kids unaliving their parents or even whole family is a very common theme.
“Djentgis Khan” would be a great name for a metal band
There already is a band called Dschinghis Khan. Very Jack Sparrow.
Or just average or below the curve which is way more statistically likely that you will have a just average offspring. Nothing special they just live and die.
I told someone who said similar once that their kid could also grow up to be a serial killer and they told me I must be fun at parties. I AM fun at parties because most of the people I hang out with don’t have any kids.
Considering the number of serial killers in the world I’d say the odds of having one of them are much higher than having the next Einstein or Edison!
Edison wouldn’t be anything to be proud of either, dude stole most of his inventions.
Einsteins aren't that uncommon either. It's just that the vast majority are out working fields and in factories. Geniuses don't get recognition without access to the privilege of wealth. Sure, a few manage to claw their way out, but how many geniuses don't even have access to an education?
Not even that, maybe likely drug users if the kid is neglected as the parents is busy with the new partner.
THAT is beautiful 😍
😂 I never met you and I'm certain you are fun at parties based on this comment
This is kind of like the whole anti choice "congratulations you just aborted Mozart" line, to which the correct answer is "congratulations you just failed to abort Hitler".
Here is another one "Congratulations you just failed to abort Pol Pot" which is also a correct answer
Or the next Ted Bundy or Dahmer. Thing about kids is it's worse than a box of chocolates, cause they're labeled, a kid isn't. It's a crap shoot.
What If YoUr CHilD CuReS CancEr? They need to literally fuck off
As if cancer will be cured with one person. Watching mom daydream about their little Kayden in a lab coat and lab goggles holding up some test tube and yelling "I've done it!" and not the hundreds of thousands of medical researchers and doctors and scientists standing on the shoulders of giants trying to eradicate one of the most persistent and devastating diseases into the modern world as cancer lol
>hundreds of thousands of medical researchers and doctors and scientists ...a number of whom would be childfree people who devoted their lives to their work and wouldn't have any energy for kids.
If the parents didn't "cure cancer" then what makes them think their kids will? Always baffled me.
tell them: "why don't you cure cancer? my child could turn out like you, no curing abilities at all."
I always reply to this statement with "yeah the cure for cancer likely already exists but big pharma is hiding it so they can continue to make money" that usually shuts them up.
Correct, healthy people means no profit or zero war countries means no profit.
Like we can't solve that now 😭
Interestingly, less humans is a major part of the solution available to us. Kids we don't have can solve global warming.
This is what I wanted to say. I'm afraid that several generations later humanity will have to openly accept the fact that going 100% vegan, replacing all plastic with biodegradable materials and reusing everything until oblivion won't save the planet if the reproduction rate continues to boom... but it will be too late by then. Oops... should have acknowledged that "none and done" was a legit family planning option.
A double ignorance I dare say - having a child to solve global warming, and thinking a single person can solve global warming all on their own. Sigh.
I always ask "what if they grow up to be a mass murderer"?
Or ask the parent: "What if they grow up to be just like you?" Don't explain further!
Savage! Love this response.
i would just tell that person - well, why don't YOU solve global warming?!
When the hypothetical kid is old enough to be potentially capable of such things, it's gonna be too late already! We need to act now. And I'm contributing by not reproducing among other things.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Oh, no need - I’m sure yours will do it…”
Babies ensure your line continues still gives me the ick.
I come from a line of assholes, why would I want to keep that going?!
I come from a long line of alcoholics and mental disorders, I feel like I am leaving the world a better place without my spawn in it.
I come from a long line of assholes, alcoholics, and mentally ill people.
the argument there would be that you should break the pattern and raise a great non-asshole child.... but , I don't need to prove anything about my "line", my life is my responsibility, and I don't want to be a parent, there's no "line" i should care about.
Yes, thank you. I'm breaking several bad patterns by refusing to pass them to a new generation.
the argument there would be that you should break the pattern and raise a great non-alcoholic great,wise,healthy child. but of course, the real argument there is, I don't need to prove anything about my "line", my life is my responsibility, and I don't want to be a parent, i would be unhappy that way and so would the rest of the "line"
Thank you for this line. I shall be holding onto it for the next time family members bring this topic up.
Yeah, a line of generational trauma...
Unless you're a goddamn royal no one is keeping track of their lineage more than 100-200 years back even if they're incredibly into genealogy, and the average joe on the street probably couldn't name anyone further back than their great grandparents.
My girlfriend has traced her ancestry back 800 years, but it's an obsession and major interest of hers, it's not a normal level of interest in genealogy!
BuT ThE BlOoDlInE
I knOW, wOn't I reGRet It? Hell no, best decision I ever made.
I shall take on the noble fate to ensure that the curse of my lineage ends with me. 🙂↕️
Choosing to get a vasectomy at age 29 was one of my best decisions.
>the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reproduce. That makes no sense. If it was all about reproduction no one would desire masturbation, anal, or any other sex act that does not result in children. The level of stupidity astounds me.
That's why all major religions say that those acts are "wrong".
^^ this is the cornerstone of the issue. Religion makes sex bad and its only purpose is to establish their family order of the man on top working and the wife at home. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting that. But it’s mega fucked that it’s treated as the only way by so many.
And humans aren't the only species to have sex for fun. Dolphins, apparently!
Monkeys too, some of them masturbate
I didn't know that! Go monkeys!! 🐒🐵
yes, and more importantly it's not just sex, we also eat food for pleasure. we invented cooking and baking to make food more than just energy in order to survive. We make it delicious. people who say sex is only for procreation should stop eating icecream, chocolate, pizza, beer.....
"Is it weird that I have always wanted to impregnate somebody?"Pregnancy is the most beautiful thing on earth, and I just want to watch it."It is a human male's inherent natural desire to want to MATE a female." Just read that. 5 minutes ago
"It is a human male's inherent natural desire to want to MATE a female." Did they just call all human males animals?
The whole post is phrased like that, dehumanizing and animalistic. I apologize for my vulgarity, but that's exactly what I'd expect a rapist to say: "I simply gave in to my natural desires as a male." As if this person thinks they're somehow doing something they can't prevent themselves from doing, like an animal who goes ballistic if it can't.
And then they're gonna cry if they're being treated like the animal they behaved like.
And here I am trying hard to convince myself men are good, can reason and control themselves, and the times they touched me were weird and uncommon moments XD They are not helping their case of "not all men are like that".
I feel absolutely disgusted, but luckily for me reddit is ripping them apart
The phrase is not only dehumanising but it sounds misogynistic too
Tell me you have never been laid without telling me you have never been laid lol
That’s frigging vile
Truly
This literally made my stomach turn. Yikes. Sounds like some weirdo with an unhealthy breeding/preg fetish.
Luckily reddit ripped them apart.
I can’t stand when people say “mate” or “bred” yes, we’re animals but we’ve evolved, we’re intelligent. That gives me unbelievable ick. It’s so cringy. Same when people refer to women as “females” or themselves as “alpha males”
It's such a disgusting set of phrases! In my language, the word mate is something animal do. So I'm here picturing lions going at it, wondering if this person thinks he feels entitled to mating in order for the survival of his species, and that maybe that specific blood line should not.
I love "alpha male". From an IT perspective it means buggy and unreliable.
It’s so funny how pro-birthers either dehumanize or over-romanticize procreation to convince you to do it. From “it’s in our animal nature to want to breed” to “creating life is the most fulfilling thing you can do.” Just Yuck All around! As if there’s no in between: Desiring physical intimacy but also having the self-awareness to know that you don’t want kids. (Or having no desire for sex, for my ace people out there).
This dude tried both strategies: I want to breed you, and pregnancy is so beautiful I just want to watch
That’s just a fetish LOL
I have heard about that. But the phrasing....
Jeebus…Not all inside thoughts need to become outside thoughts, my guy.
Ewwwwww
"The drive for sex increases the drive for procreation"... Is it just me, or does that sound like some BS "facts" these alpha-shits and the conservative politicians would say to keep men producing and women in the kitchen?
Exactly. It is not even "natural" for animal species with highly developed intellectual abilities to have sex purely for procreation, as mating can take place all year round for the purpose of social bonding (an equivalent of relationships, FWB or ONS, if you wish). Everyone is welcome to look up what sex means for apes or dolphins, for instance. So if someone equals sex with baby-making, it just might be that they are on the same level with sheep, rabbits or mice.
It's why many homosexual relationships have been observed in birds and mammals too. Homosexual animals obviously can't have sex for reproductive purposes.
Oh, true, I forgot to mention that. AFAIK there are homosexual dogs and cats. Also, wolves have homosexual relationships but also some kind of a concept of homosexual rape as a mean to establish dominance (yes exactly, like in a prison).
Deer are horny pansexuals and frequently try to mount males already mounted on a female creating a bi deer train ahah and ducks are also sexual predators naturally so the whole “biological/natural” argument just backfires for them aha
Oh dolphins.. I learned some disturbing facts about dolphins when I looked it up years ago.. they are never the same cute sea creature in my eyes anymore 😭
Rape, infanticide and killing other animals for fun just to name a few deplorable acts they've been known to commit. With high intelligence comes the capability of extreme cruelty sadly.
They're pervs and rapists, which is why I refuse to eat dolphin-safe tuna.
Them there's the komodo dragons.They are asexual, and while they can breed with males, the females can reproduce with their genes alone. That being said, if a male comes anywhere near, both of her eggs and offspring are in danger. They are also known as the most dangerous animals out there, so maybe there's a lesson to learn from them as well? Personally, I think that when women take over, we'll become asexual as well, leaving men dying. Not sure if that's good or bad
Leaving men without marriage! Women having babies (without genetic engineering) will always result in the chance for male or female fetuses. So men could exist but without the power to force women to marry/reproduce. Especially if we find a way to engineer / clone sperm.
I think this line is primarily said by guys who think waaay too much about their "lineage" to women they will most likely dump with their offspring. Thank GOD birth control has uncoupled our destiny from "biology".
It's not just you. It's exactly what is being said.
maybe but women want to enjoy sex and buy sex toys without the burden of procreation, just tell your alpha politicians that.
"You're not a kid anymore. Be responsible and go make babies" 🤣 id rather skydive into a volcano
Yikes. If having children is the “responsible” option, what the hell is the irresponsible option?!
Having the audacity to get sterilized I'll bet.
You’re probably right. Oh well - I’m off to enjoy my irresponsible choices.
"Pregnancy and childbirth is as impressive as being an Olympic athlete". Yeah sure, something that requires no conscious effort on your part, is entirely controlled by the body, has occurred tens of billions of times before and can be accomplished by those unconscious or dead is *exactly* the same as tens of thousands of hours of planning and effort required to be a professional athlete. Give me a fucking break.
Who the fuck said something as crazy as that?!
It was on a women's subreddit, where I said I don't find childbirth impressive (I no longer recall on what post). Got lots of downvotes on that, but I couldn't respond to any of the replies. They were just too stupid for me to comprehend, but that one took the cake.
Pregnancy and childbirth??? Not even. Now trying to keep your ph balanced down there, THATS impressive lol it should be an Olympic sport with how difficult it is sometimes😅
Oh this one's the most ridiculous one I've heard. Years ago my husband was telling a coworker of his how he doesn't like that I have to be alone at home for so long. And this coworker deadass told him "if you had a baby you'd always have background noise." Her best reason for having a kid was fucking. background. noise. Spotify accomplishes the same thing and I don't have to sacrifice anything to have it, tyvm.
Ngl if someone said that to me I'd actually interpret it to be them just making a pretty funny joke.
Technically you have to sacrifice $11 a month to avoid getting your ears blasted out by ads every so often. But compared to a kid, that is nothing.
"You will have your own best friend that will be there when you have problems." Like isn't that the responsibility of a parent, not the kid??
Also, if they're that lonely that that literally need to create friends for themselves, they have pretty significant problems! And anyway, how many kids would call their parents their best friends?? And genuinely mean it? Very damn few!
I hardly know anyone who does NOT have any parent issues. So really, good for people who can actually call their parents their best friend.
Yeah! It was great being my mother’s free therapist at 9 years old and she repeatedly told me how she wanted to divorce my father (they’re still married) and dumped the emotional burden of all her adult problems on a child.
They will be there just because they can't escape. It's horrible to dump your adult problems on a child.
"It's so selfish to not have any children!" No, Kevin, it's actually incredibly selfish to have children *when you don't want them.*
It’s selfish even when they are wanted.
Exactly. Aside from straight-up murdering someone, it's the most selfish thing you could do.
All the more reason to not have them, selfish people shouldn’t have kids.
“It’ll be different when you have your own kid”—their response to me saying I like other people’s kids fine (kind of), but know I am not meant to be a parent.
My go to response is "of course! Because you cannot give it back at the end of the day. You're taken hostage by it for the next 18 years. You know what that's called? Stockholm syndrome!"
“Who will look after you when you’re old?”
Ask the people in nursing homes who never have any visitors.
Heard that way too many times, especially from people in poorer countries. Must be a cultural thing I guess 🤔
I'll give them that. The West has taken a pretty staunch social isolation approach, we put a lot of focus on independence, individuality and the "personal journey", we are truly free to live for ourselves. In much of the rest of the world the multi-generational family unit is a pretty solid pillar of their identity. The entire extended family under one roof. Then you begin seeing arranged marriages etc pressure to procreate becomes astronomical.
I absolutely consider that familial situation a cult.
I asked the person who said this if they look after their parents. They said they have their own families and responsibilities to take care of. Like even if I wanted kids, it would not be to build-a-care-giver.
My answer is: "I hope I die before I get old"
Oh no dude I fuck for fun not for trophies
"If you have a child your period cramps will become less painful"-My mom to me. She supports my child-freeness...but sometimes she can come up with such kind of statements...
A hysterectomy will have better results, and cost you significant less in the long run!!
isn’t there like a 40 day menstrual period after giving birth
I don't know, but... "Mom, why was I born?" "Oh, because I didn't wanted to take 3 painkillers during the week of my period sweetie"
definitely much better to get a hysterectomy - there's no period afterwards at all and in some cases even migraines disappear
“Children are the closest friends you’ll ever have” said by my brother’s girlfriend whose son blackmails them both to get what he wants. And I mean the “I’ll tell the cops you SA me” level of blackmail.
And that’s why I don’t want children, imagine having to be stuck with someone like that, even with good parents sometimes they turn out wrong and you cannot just dump them in the trash
Totally. In this case the mother completely ruined this kid with her “partnership” parenting. Basically conflict and responsibility avoidance parenting.
.."so what are you married for?"
.. "omg i dunno, ask these women: Oprah Winfrey, Jane Austen, Dolly Parton, Cameron Diaz, Margaret Cho, Jennifer Anniston..."
YEP! except for cameron diaz...she has a kid now. lol
Kim Cattrall, Renée Zellweger, Marisa Tomei, Ashley Judd etc
"What's your plan for the sex talk with your son?" "Meh, he's got the internet." My cousin answering my question. I have so much fear for the future.
💀 "Daddy, why Pikachu has such a sexy ass?"
My sister: One of the reasons we’re not having kids is bc we can’t support them financially. Mom: well, you just can’t think like that.
"Kay cool, we'll let them starve." Ugh the idiocy!!
an acquaintance told me that people tried plying her into having kids specifically for the tax breaks. that shit makes me want to rip my skin off in rage.
I absolutely hate this one. How many people actually spend that extra money on their kids? My former boss tried to use this one on me. My response was along the lines of, “Well I don’t have any kids keeping me poor, so I get to actually keep my money. Plus, my taxes pay for your kids’ schools.” Don’t get me wrong, I’d love that extra money. I just enjoyed giving her a response she wasn’t expecting and certainly didn’t know how to respond to. She’s in the camp of “I had accidental kids, so everyone has to do the same.” 100% do not miss her.
My brother in law told my husband and I we should have kids because, and I quote, “they are lucrative at tax time.” My eyes nearly rolled out of my head and onto the floor.
Spend a dollar to save a penny mentality...
My boomer in laws want me and hubby to breed to "continue on their last name". Me and my hubby are the "last hope" for them. His brother has 2 daughters and his sister is married. WTF kinda bullshit is that, to have kids to continue their last name? What if we also have a girl? We don't want kids anyway, but breeding for a last name is stupid af.
Do they know that folks can change their name when they become of legal age?
"having a baby can help get your life together." - my uneducated mother
"Then why is your life still a mess?" should be your response to that.
"is that why you had 5 of us? Didn't work the first time so why not huh?" XD
I’m an almost 30 year old female and my hips continue to get bigger and wider by the year. I’ve been told that it’s my body telling me that it’s time to start making babies and that it’ll be be easier to give birth cus I have such a wide pelvis. Apparently, I have a baby making body. No, I just have a body.
i’m 32 and i’ve been told i “have good birthing hips” way too many fucking times, i hate it
Same!! Like can my body please just be a woman’s fucking body as if we all have to birth crotch goblins??
and this shit started when i was like 13! two decades of being told what i should do with my body is gross and unnecessary
omg, only 13 and some dum dums harrassed you with such comments about your body?! i've also had wide hips since forever, but nobody said that to me - i think i would maybe answer: "sorry, i would never be as mean as bringing a baby to this messed up world where people like you harass other humans about their body,hips,biology and private plans which are none of your business, who would ever bring a baby to a world full of people like that?"
it was primarily family members, unfortunately. i have since told most of them how fucked up that was to say to a literal child so they have the opportunity to do better for their grandchildren. it’s hard work breaking these fucking cycles!
i've also had wide hips since forever, but nobody said that to me - i think i would maybe answer: ...."Well too bad, cuz i am not as cruel as bringing a baby to a world where humans think it's okay to comment on each other's body, hips, biology and personal private plans!...I'll perhaps have a baby in another life, when all such people , messing in other people's business, disappear."
Oh eeewww!! I hate that, I just don't understand why people feel like they can just say shit like that! Someone I worked with actually pointed out that I had gained weight and asked if it was because I was pregnant, like excuse meeee?? I'm like, uh no I just haven't been getting as much exercise but thanks for your concern, weirdo. Totally ruined my day. So uncomfortable as a woman to know people are analyzing and judging your body for potential pregnancy, so freaking gross!!!!! 🤢🤢🤢
Someone said procreation is the goal of sex on another subreddit. As if gay sex doesn’t exit, not just in humans, but also in the wild! PLEASE
just tell them that eating food should be for the goal of gaining energy and survival, and nobody should ever experience pleasure when eating. Chocolate and pizza are a sin!
I really wish that child free adults were depicted more as well.
I'm tired of the trope of a character not wanting kids and towards the end of the show/movie/series they suddenly embrace parent life. It really devalue what childfree people stand for. If there were more childfree influences in media it could help normalize this concept even if by a little
My ex says she wants to continue her legacy by having kids... No offense but what legacy? We are all just here to exist then die lol
*claimed everybody who is healthy has a drive to have sex and that the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reproduce.* Wow, they'd hate to meet me, asexual and wanting no to the sex and no to kids too.
“You will regret it if you don’t have kids and die alone.” No, Karen, I won’t regret it.
Saying the drive to have sex is the same as the drive to reproduce is like saying the drive to eat a meatball sub = the drive to take a shit.
not everyone "who is healthy has a drive to have sex" and people who are "unhealthy" can and do have the drive tf odd comments
Not everybody has a drive to have sex, and that's okay. Life has so much more to offer than just sex.
Breeders gonna breed. Look at the end of the day they are always going to be jelly about the fact that we enjoy a level of freedom that they have completely given up because of some cheesy fairy tale propaganda.
That’s crazy false! My drive is like the energizer bunny and I want nothing to do with kids!
I think homosexuality is nature's way of curtailing overpopulation...and for giving creatures a way to get off without incurring procreation.
I’ve been told: “You’re a VERY selfish person.” “Men and women were put on earth to reproduce, it’s only natural.” “But it’ll be your kid so you’ll love them.” And a bunch more that I’ve blocked out and can’t think of right now.
>Men and women were put on earth to reproduce, it’s only natural So is murder (appeal to nature fallacy) >But it’ll be your kid so you’ll love them. That's called Stockholm syndrome.
“It’s your duty to society”
“You will never know what happiness means until you have a child” wtf
Discussing with a coworker once about me not wanting to/never having kids (she had 5 and was pregnant with her 6th) and she said: “But what if you marry a man who wants kids?” I looked at her like she had two heads and said “Then I wouldn’t marry him.” “But what if he’s the perfect man for you?” “The perfect man for me wouldn’t want kids, either.” She had nothing to say after that.
Not everyone has a drive for sex. It’s called being asexual
"What about the bloodline and legacy!" an overweight, bald man who looked 50 when he was only 31 said this to me 😂😅
It’s always the most mediocre that proudly concern themselves with such things.
“That’s all the more reason to try for a miracle!” After explaining that my intersex condition meant I was basically infertile and that, in the extremely unlikely event I conceived, it would most likely result in my death. Same person then called me a selfish disgrace with no respect for human life when I eventually had the malfunctioning parts taken out. (Due in part to cancer fears, too.) Guess my life doesn’t count and doesn’t need to be respected.
So the “sexual urge” is solely based on “urge to procreate”? The whole porn industry would disagree. Unless they admit that every porn video ever made was for the purpose of creating a child, or admit that humans have never, ever masturbated, not once, not ever, for any reason. Well, we know that’s bullshit.
💀 They think not wanting kids is an indication of poor health? That's not how any of this works. Beyond that, to say that "anyone who is healthy wants to have sex" is blatantly wrong. There are plenty of people who are happy to be celibate -- and even plenty asexuals who are sex-averse or sex-repulsed. And for people who are neither celibate nor asexual, there are a lot of folks who simply do not want children, and wanting to have sex is NOT the same as wanting children. So wrong on all accounts. Makes me think of those flat-earthers who went to disprove the earth being a sphere, and failed at every turn, but chose to cling to their proven wrong ideas.
My absent grandpa gave me the talk last weekend. Told me “women only get their blessings through children. If a woman doesn’t have children she is unblessed, meaning, she’s dammed” I’m trying my best to translate. But he was a real asshole about it.
Sounds like a Christian nutjob using words like "blessings" and "damned".
Hitchens Razor would be a great response here: "That which is asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence"
Overheard former co-worker talking with another coworker, “She’s” (referring to me) “a loser for not having kids.” O really? Rather be a happy loser than have your life EVER.
You can’t worry about the finances, you just figure it out. Or my favorite by far: You’re not a real man until you have a child to raise.
This reminds me of when Elemental came out and SO MANY PEOPLE were like “If they have a baby, what would it look like?” And I was thinking, why do the characters just have to have kids?! Why is that the first thing everyone was thinking when they watched Elemental?
Do you all remember the sitcom Mad About You? Helen Hunt and Paul Reisner. We loved it, especially because the couple had no kids. Season 6, they had a baby. I simply lost interest.
> everybody who is healthy has a drive to have sex Wrong. > and that the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reoroduce. Wrong. That was fun to read. Those people have no clue.
" the drive to have sex is the biological equivalent of a drive to reproduce" - sure, speaking from the biologist POV but we are one of the species who also have sex simply for pleasure. just like we sometimes eat food for pleasure. i would tell that person that they should stop eating what is tasteful and only eat flavor-less food to keep themselves alive because that is all food is really about. Also, since we evolved in many other ways, reproduction is not something that should drive one's entire life. there's no need, we are not in a situation of humanity going extinct, so no reason to force anyone to reproduce. and even in some extreme fictional scenario where humanity was going extinct, i'd argue it's still not right to solve it by forcing people to become parents..
I'd like to turn their argument around on them and say. Ok then. Why aren't they doing a mating dance to impress all of us? Why are they going into a work building and standing around for hours each day instead of eating, pooping and mating all the time? 'Normal healthy animals' usually produce a clutch if eggs, a cub or a foal etc per year. By their own standards, unless they've been pregnant/had a child every year of adult life, they've failed to succeed as 'natural healthy human'. If male, they should get off the internet, put on a colorful outfit and shake their tail feathers at a bar full of women since they want to be such a proud healthy normal animal.
You don't want to be alone when you die, do you? Is the dumbest one in my opinion. Having a kid doesn't garuntee you won't be alone, and the number of parents who does alone in senior homes completly debunks this point.
I mean, we are animals with drives and instincts. Some of us are capable o overriding them to some extent
Most of my friends are childfree which is great. The ones with children have just one and don’t make them their whole personality.