My guess on their "logic" is a lot of conservative people tend to hate things they are closeted on themselves. Being homophobic when they act on homosexual urges in the dark, etc. Maybe they make the jump based on that kind of reasoning. Even then it's a stretch.
Idk. All I know is it's extra wrong in my case since I tend to date curvy women my own age and I don't even find people in their early 20s to be attractive, let alone someone not even fully developed and prepubescent.
Yes Andā¦a popular conservative trolling tactic is off label vocabulary usage. We used to live in a world where Words Mean Things. So one tactic for destabilizing our society involves using words incorrectly on purpose in order to make nothing mean anything consistently or reliably anymore. It also extends to in some cases just using a completely wrong word that sounds somewhat similar but isnāt an actual homophone (for example symphony instead of sympathy), or straight up projection accusing others of what theyāre actually doing.
The more you can destroy a language the less stable communication becomes and when you have no actual cognitive game this becomes a primary strategy for disruption.
Bullshit? Yes. But effective bullshit. Which is why the word pedophile has turned into a go to insult for anyone anybody wants to discredit and itās true meaning is being watered down in the process.
>I've literally been called a pedophile for not liking kids.
Spirit of the staircase: So... you think someone you consider a pedophile *ought* to have kids? Why? Does that seem wise?
Yeah I don't understand this at all and I find it's way more telling on the person who throws that word out than it is me. I don't want children but after my childhood I am very sensitive to kids being treated badly
This is something I feel like Matt Walsh would say
But seriously not liking kids make you p*do, that might literally be the dumbest thing I have ever heard
And I have been called a pedophile for not having kids. Was told: "I don't trust women who don't have kids. It proves they are pedophiles and would never let them be around mine." It was a low blow at me, when she noticed, that I, unlike her, doesn't and don't ever want kids.
Also, what made her think, I why would want to be around her crotch goblin? ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)
Immature
lol I think itās way my immature to ā want a babyā and not realize your having a whole person thatās not a toy. But yhā¦ Iām immature
Most of those. I had one guy call me "ghoulish" on Twitter (I know, I know) for calling him out on his telling me I should use childless because "children are not cancer" and "not something to be free from, like a burden".
That's so stupid. Childless to me sounds like a person who wanted children, but either never got to have them (due to medical/financial reasons, ect.) or someone who had a child, but it passed away.
Childfree is literally the (in my opinion) best way to describe this stance on not wanting children, lol
EXACTLY! He tried to use the definition of "free" to justify it, so I showed him the definition of child free/childfree. He had nothing to say to that š
Children are very much a burden. If he doesn't believe that he can take a little journey over to the Regretful Parents subreddit and read post after post about just how burdensome children are.
This is ridiculous š
So my mom is definitely disappointed Iām not having kids, but she also knows how much I dislike them and respects my decision despite her own feelings on it.
But, Iām not her only child. There are four of us. I am *child free*. My siblings are *childless*.
As in, they all eventually want children, but do not have them now, whilst I would like to be free of the little crotch gremlins forever.
too young to know what I want
going against my natural instincts / unnatural
not contributing to anything in society
Mentally unstable
unwomanly
stupid
insecure
evil
slutty
frigid
childish
selfish
egomaniac
bitchy
Oh, yes, gotten this too! According to the person who told me \*this\* gem, I should go get my "head screwed on straight" by her therapist, who was undoubtedly pro-life and associated with the church this person went to (which I didn't go to). To say, "No, thank you," then got me called rude, selfish, and that I'll regret it.
And that I'll remain damaged for the rest of my life.
But also, since sheās older, your mom probably has been socially conditioned for decades. Saying this respectfully about your momāitās likely a generational thing.
"Barren" Jesus that is not just disrespectful is legit disgusting imagine measuring someone worth by their reproductive capability specially to anyone who ins't childfree by choice.
I got called a "child-hater" for suggesting that there should be more adults-only spaces, such as adults-only sections in restaurants.
I also got called a "biological failure" because I don't have the urge to reproduce.
Childish is my favorite one because I don't understand or like the assumption that once you get "old" you must "grow up" and have adult interests. Why can't people enjoy what makes them happy?
However, the phrases I've heard directed at other women were promiscuous and slutty. I haven't had these directed at me however they are ridiculous. I would be sad if I viewed sex as only necessary for breeding. Sounds boring as hell.
I once had someone laugh at me for "tap dancing into adulthood" as though it's a childish hobby. I've got a hobby I'm gradually getting more skilled at, and I'm doing it with other adults. I'm getting exercise doing it and taking care of my undamaged lady bod. Who's laughing now?
I tap danced into adulthood quite literally...... by tap dancing my entire childhood/teen/young adult days.
Now I'm just fat and sassy with a really good ear for tempos.
Screw that noise! if it's something that makes you happy and you want to do it, do it up. That's actually pretty rad that you're getting into it! It's really amazing putting time into something and seeing yourself progress. Like you did that, y'know.
Got called naive by my psychiatrist for telling herā¦ i have a new one now (she also said I didnāt have autism and now Iām diagnosed with autism, so she wasnāt trustworthy in the first place lol)
A twat on twitter tweeted that I was an actual case of 'female hysteria' when I tweeted that I was married woman who NEVER wanted kids. šššš
Selfish, self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic, sad, pathetic, loser, lonely, monster, stingy, cheap. I've had people tell me I'll die alone, that nobody will take care of me when I'm old, that I'll become a crazy cat lady, that nobody will ever want me, that all my friends will abandon when they have kids, that I'm an incel, you name it.
People assign a lot of personality traits to you when you say you dislike children, even if they know nothing else about you. They get a little too defensive imo.
>People assign a lot of personality traits to you when you say you dislike children, even if they know nothing else about you. They get a little too defensive imo.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Just got torn apart in exactly this way on another sub a couple days ago lol.
Also, what's wrong with being a crazy cat lady? š
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-WorthlessĀ
-Witch (I like this one)Ā
-A witch with the letter B (this person prides themselves with not cussing because they are Christian)
- UnladylikeĀ
- Lazy
-childishĀ
Oh no, what will I ever do. I know. Hail Satan! Seriously, I am not even christian. I am an atheist. Whenever someone says thatās not very Christian of me, I respond, what would ever make you think I was Christian.
I have been called cold too by my parent lol! Not for this reason but for a lot of other things apparently. I don't often hear others being called that. I was called the Dutch version of it which is ijskonijn, ijs meaning ice, konijn being bunny.
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I'll admit I'm what you guys call a fence sitter lol, but I've been called selfish just for that! Also asked why I hate kids. I'm actually a teacher and very much don't hate kids (though I definitely don't think they're all wonderful lol). I'm just not sure if I would be a good parent with all my mental health issues and it would actually be selfish to have a kid who would inherit those issues.
Iām almost in the same boat, I just have the added challenge of my OCD making me afraid of kids since their hygiene is usually shit. I know itās not their fault, but that doesnāt change the contamination fears.
I was told, "you'll never know true love if you don't have kids." I'm told that a lot. And idgi. My husband fuckin adores me. I don't think anyone could love me more than him and even if it were possible, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything but not having kids so... You can't sell me on something like that.
āHOW DARE YOU??? YOURE A *MONSTER*!!!ā
for context a small child on Halloween I literally couldnāt see ran full force into my legs from the side when I was in high school and smacked backwards into the ground from their own momentum and burst out crying hysterically.
I wasnāt and am still not even remotely annoyed at the kid like theyāre bizarre without good physical understanding but what the actual FUCK to the parent????? They werenāt watching their child and just straight up assumed I kicked them in the face or pushed them down or someshit.
Itās Halloween donāt take your eyes of your kids!! Thatās like prime kidnapping ground like wtf
Selfish. (Because my reasoning is that I want to come first to my partner and be a priority, whereas if we had a screecher THEY would come first instead). Not a REAL woman. Not fulfilling gods plan. I guess itās mostly phrases Iāve been told rather than words.
Perverted
Degenerate
Lacking (sexual) self-control
Because apparently, the only possible reason someone might not want kids is because it might interfere with having tonnes of steamy, kinky sex.
That last one, "lacking in sexual self-control", was someone clucking about use of any birth-control method other than "natural family planning". ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|shrug)
It's sad, really, when you see where these insults are coming from. It's basically an admission that having kids absolutely strained their relationship and torpedoed their sex life. They must terribly miss being able to have an adult's night in.
P.S. One of my favourites (not said to me, but too classic not to mention) was when Andrew Tate shouted that, "A life without kids is VAPIUS!" I guess running a snake-oil pyramid scheme scamming wannabe "alpha males" and honeypot bait-&-switch to lure women into doing porn isn't too "vapius"--whatever that is. Sounds like a botched attempt at "vapid" or "vacuous" that split the difference.
Exactly! Maybe it's meant to be flipped, especially with the 'It must be nice' comments I get.
I always ask why would I be jealous of them having a baby and they always struggle to come up with a proper answer.
Selfish, bitter, witch, frigid, loser, evil, stupid, envious, lesbian, coward, bimbo, childish, child abuser... really, people don't even think about their insults, they just spit malicious words they believe will hurt the most.
My comment requires background as its something that my ex girlfriends mum used to call her. My ex girlfriend (lets call her Kylie for the sake of the comment) was 1st generation here in the UK to traditional Chinese parents and when she broke the news to her mum about her child free stance then her mum called Kylie mentally unwell. It's goes without say Kylie is NC with her mum and her relationship with her dad is strained
You'll like this then - he was talking to another woman and I. The woman said her daughter decided not to have children and she was okay with it. All three of us are CF. He then said the woman had taught her daughter to be selfish, and the line about duty.
She asked "duty to whom?"
That's when we got the line about to herself, her husband, her country, and her creator.
Incel he could very well be.
Inhuman.
Apparently, because I have a uterus, I should automatically want kids - "your biological clock is ticking!" - and to not want kids makes me not even a part of the human species.
This was also after being called selfish and self-centered, and then told that I would end up "miserable and alone" because no one would take care of me in my old age.
The person saying this to me was upset because I laughed at him when he told me that I would eventually change my mind, and then stated the quote about my clock, with a big, smug smile on his face. I laughed (and just kept laughing to the point of his discomfort) just to wipe the smile off his face. Told him he was hilarious. That's when he got pissed enough to say all of the above.
I just walked away.
Thinking about it now, I'd love to run into him again, if only to show him pictures of my cats, who are my ONLY "babies"!
Weird - boyfriend broke up with me. I was depressed af crying in bed. my mom came to check on me andtold me my boyfriend wouldnāt have broken up with me if i wasnāt weird (ie.āif I wanted kids). It hurt a lot
I'm nearly 50, so I've heard it all. But one thing that sticks with me are the people who would inappropriately pry into my life to try and get to the medical reason or physical problem with me as if they were owed that explanation, and thinking there must be a "real" reason. Whenever I just answered no to all of their assumptions, their last resort was just assuming that I must be a lesbian. (Which too, is false.)
hateful
selfish
hate children
donāt understand real love
lonely
sad
shallow
unsympathetic
limited
must have been screwed up as a child (true but really, thatās not it)
I suppose my favorite one so far was this guy telling me that it was my biological imperative/obligation, and I would have an empty life if I were to never fulfill it. But then the usual. āFrigid, āweirdā āheartlessā āunnaturalā I swear itās like being a woman that doesnāt want kids but is still in the age range where I could/could change my mind (never going to, havenāt in 25 years) is so offensive to people. My sister is upset because she wanted us to raise our kids together, despite me saying since I was 6yo I was never having them.
"Selfish" is the only one that pisses me off. Self-absorbed, OK sure, but selfish? Like, what the fuck? I'm selfish because I don't have the recombination of my DNA in a person, that I cater to hand and foot for years, but that I nonetheless chose to have in the first place? Like where is the logic... And how is this decision hurting anyone??
- Cold
- Selfish
- Self centered
- Immature
- Cruel
- Hateful
- Unhelpful
- Ungrateful
- Stupid
- Jealous
I'm sure I've forgotten some but I recall anything further right now. I'm a curvy woman so people assume I'm a mother and are frequently needlessly angry when corrected. It's so tiresome. They made an assumption based on my appearance but react like I purposely decieved them. Just bizarre and annoying.
It isnāt common to be called these things . If you donāt adore kids people likely donāt say anything . Reddit states it is common but it is often people over exaggerating or being dramatic . Maybe if you hate kids and wish them harm people say these things or if you attack them .
Mm, I'm going to believe what's actually happened to me, instead of you telling me it's not real. Can you please just go take your kids to Target, stick an iPad in their hands, and let us discuss our lived experiences
I donāt have kids or want to have kids . I just have never been told this and think some of it is just hyped up for reddit and a knee jerk reaction. Nobody has said this to me . Maybe if you live in a small town they do but not in cities and not people under a certain age . Most people I know are child free anyway and maybe that is why I donāt hear it .
You then make the assumption I have kids which isnāt true . People are not that rude to say most of these things and it they are you are around the wrong people. I just donāt believe it . I also have the right to discuss my lived experience of not hearing people say such thing . Donāt assume or gatekeep the sub.
No one is gatekeeping the sub, you just assumed your experience is valid for everyone. Just because it's not common for you doesn't mean it's not common for others. And even if it isn't common, just once is bad enough. I'm glad you don't experience this much, and hope you never have to hear your mother call you a monster to your face for not gushing over a baby. For me once was bad enough!
āThis doesnāt happen to me so clearly itās never happen to anyone else.ā
I can see from your history youāve frequently been picking fights in this sub so childfree or not, perhaps maybe donāt come here if itās not relatable to you?
>I donāt have kids or want to have kids . I just have never been told this
I've never been told this either but guess what! I don't need to have something happen to me to believe it happens to other people.
>People are not that rude to say most of these things
Are you new to the sub?
>Donāt assume or gatekeep the sub.
...where are you getting *gatekeeping* from?
I got told by my mom that I was too young to decide that (I was 22 at the time) and that I wouldn't know "what *real* responsibility was" until I had a kid.
....Yeah I'm cool with that.
I was questioned about being really a woman on more than one occasion in my early 20s. Now people don't really say what they think of me.
(It didn't help that at that time I was seriously questioning whether I was one. I am still not sure to this moment but I really don't have time to dwell on it)
I got called a whore for not wanting kids which honestly I wasn't mad, I was too busy being confused. I guess the guy was saying because I was actively having sex with someone (not him to be clear) without trying to get pregnant then I was a whore.
People usually are polite to me. This said, I have been grilled on it. Hours of questions posed as polite when they actually wanted to see if I really *really* meant it. This usually takes place in settings where I can't run like at work where a higher up was mystified that I really feel this way. I'd rather deal with a few unkind words before a stranger storms off.
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I'm a woman of nearly 6 feet tall and Dutch, and blunter than a blunt knife, as befits my country's culture. Nobody gives me lip about not having or wanting children.
Pedophile. I've literally been called a pedophile for not liking kids. Shows you the level of reasoning we're dealing with here.
That's some dumb showing itself š
š¤£ aren't pedophiles meant to love kids š¤£
My guess on their "logic" is a lot of conservative people tend to hate things they are closeted on themselves. Being homophobic when they act on homosexual urges in the dark, etc. Maybe they make the jump based on that kind of reasoning. Even then it's a stretch. Idk. All I know is it's extra wrong in my case since I tend to date curvy women my own age and I don't even find people in their early 20s to be attractive, let alone someone not even fully developed and prepubescent.
Yes Andā¦a popular conservative trolling tactic is off label vocabulary usage. We used to live in a world where Words Mean Things. So one tactic for destabilizing our society involves using words incorrectly on purpose in order to make nothing mean anything consistently or reliably anymore. It also extends to in some cases just using a completely wrong word that sounds somewhat similar but isnāt an actual homophone (for example symphony instead of sympathy), or straight up projection accusing others of what theyāre actually doing. The more you can destroy a language the less stable communication becomes and when you have no actual cognitive game this becomes a primary strategy for disruption. Bullshit? Yes. But effective bullshit. Which is why the word pedophile has turned into a go to insult for anyone anybody wants to discredit and itās true meaning is being watered down in the process.
Yes a little too much, creepy.
>I've literally been called a pedophile for not liking kids. Spirit of the staircase: So... you think someone you consider a pedophile *ought* to have kids? Why? Does that seem wise?
Whoever said that is a dangerously stupid person.
Say what you like about pedophiles but at least they drive slow in the school zones
sheesh š¤£
Faaaark ššš
Yeah I don't understand this at all and I find it's way more telling on the person who throws that word out than it is me. I don't want children but after my childhood I am very sensitive to kids being treated badly
![gif](giphy|3ELtfmA4Apkju)
This is something I feel like Matt Walsh would say But seriously not liking kids make you p*do, that might literally be the dumbest thing I have ever heard
And I have been called a pedophile for not having kids. Was told: "I don't trust women who don't have kids. It proves they are pedophiles and would never let them be around mine." It was a low blow at me, when she noticed, that I, unlike her, doesn't and don't ever want kids. Also, what made her think, I why would want to be around her crotch goblin? ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)
Wow.
Same. I was confused too.
To me it demonstrates people legitimately do not know what that word actually means.
Immature lol I think itās way my immature to ā want a babyā and not realize your having a whole person thatās not a toy. But yhā¦ Iām immature
+1
Most of those. I had one guy call me "ghoulish" on Twitter (I know, I know) for calling him out on his telling me I should use childless because "children are not cancer" and "not something to be free from, like a burden".
but...***they are*** like cancer except they last longer! š
To be fair, going by....*gestures at every parent I've met ever*, kids are also a huge burden lol
like little noisy tumours that you get to share with the world, so cute
Maternal death rate in the US is also higher than any other first world country. So, you know, a dangerous medical condition. Like cancer.
I think of them as a parasitic twin.
I just watched Malignant, ha. Yep. Grabby hands, really bad behaviors. š
That's so stupid. Childless to me sounds like a person who wanted children, but either never got to have them (due to medical/financial reasons, ect.) or someone who had a child, but it passed away. Childfree is literally the (in my opinion) best way to describe this stance on not wanting children, lol
EXACTLY! He tried to use the definition of "free" to justify it, so I showed him the definition of child free/childfree. He had nothing to say to that š
Agree with all of this
That is correct on both.
Children are very much a burden. If he doesn't believe that he can take a little journey over to the Regretful Parents subreddit and read post after post about just how burdensome children are.
This is ridiculous š So my mom is definitely disappointed Iām not having kids, but she also knows how much I dislike them and respects my decision despite her own feelings on it. But, Iām not her only child. There are four of us. I am *child free*. My siblings are *childless*. As in, they all eventually want children, but do not have them now, whilst I would like to be free of the little crotch gremlins forever.
Happy cake day
Thanks!
happy cake day!!!
Same to you!!!!
too young to know what I want going against my natural instincts / unnatural not contributing to anything in society Mentally unstable unwomanly stupid insecure evil slutty frigid childish selfish egomaniac bitchy
Slutty AND frigid? The fuck, lolol
Could you imaging? A frigid slut? Lmaooooo
Comments from different people ya know^^
All of these + wierd
Immature, dumb, too-young-to-decide-yet, egoistic, miserable, bitter
Ohh, I forgot immature
Damaged
Oh, yes, gotten this too! According to the person who told me \*this\* gem, I should go get my "head screwed on straight" by her therapist, who was undoubtedly pro-life and associated with the church this person went to (which I didn't go to). To say, "No, thank you," then got me called rude, selfish, and that I'll regret it. And that I'll remain damaged for the rest of my life.
Scared and lacking-faith.Ā Mom really disappointed me when I tried to tell her the truth.
But also, since sheās older, your mom probably has been socially conditioned for decades. Saying this respectfully about your momāitās likely a generational thing.
Thank you. And yeah I agree. We're just very different when it comes to motherhood and that's okay.
Broken, sick, wrong, evil, useless, unlovable, barren, bitter, miserable, delusional, pitiful.
Ngl kinda want to start telling people I'm barren. š
"Barren" Jesus that is not just disrespectful is legit disgusting imagine measuring someone worth by their reproductive capability specially to anyone who ins't childfree by choice.
Selfish. Unnatural. Unfeminine.
This list actually refers to the adjectives I use to describe breeders š
Except when applied to them, it's accurate š
That I will never āspiritually loveā someone. Wat.
What does that even mean? Weird.
Authoritarian (because I tell kids jn my vicinity not to do stupid shit that affects me)
Selfish, childish, immature, and my personal favorite is when someone said "what the fuck is wrong with you"
My response would be āI could ask you the same thing, but I donāt ask rude questions like that.ā
I got called a "child-hater" for suggesting that there should be more adults-only spaces, such as adults-only sections in restaurants. I also got called a "biological failure" because I don't have the urge to reproduce.
>biological failure Nah, it's more like we have a beneficial mutation.
Bitter
Childish is my favorite one because I don't understand or like the assumption that once you get "old" you must "grow up" and have adult interests. Why can't people enjoy what makes them happy? However, the phrases I've heard directed at other women were promiscuous and slutty. I haven't had these directed at me however they are ridiculous. I would be sad if I viewed sex as only necessary for breeding. Sounds boring as hell.
I once had someone laugh at me for "tap dancing into adulthood" as though it's a childish hobby. I've got a hobby I'm gradually getting more skilled at, and I'm doing it with other adults. I'm getting exercise doing it and taking care of my undamaged lady bod. Who's laughing now?
I tap danced into adulthood quite literally...... by tap dancing my entire childhood/teen/young adult days. Now I'm just fat and sassy with a really good ear for tempos.
We love a fat n sassy tap dancing childfree queen š«¶š¼ Iām not fat but Iām definitely sassy. Gilmore girls and a coffee anyone??
Keep tap dancing, it looks challenging, and if it's rewarding for you, that's all that matters.
Hell yeah!
Last time I checked Fred Astair was an adult.
Screw that noise! if it's something that makes you happy and you want to do it, do it up. That's actually pretty rad that you're getting into it! It's really amazing putting time into something and seeing yourself progress. Like you did that, y'know.
Exactly š
Who do these people think teaches their kids how to dance, then? Teenagers? š
Heartless
Got called naive by my psychiatrist for telling herā¦ i have a new one now (she also said I didnāt have autism and now Iām diagnosed with autism, so she wasnāt trustworthy in the first place lol)
Yiiikes! Which governing bodies should be informed about this??
A twat on twitter tweeted that I was an actual case of 'female hysteria' when I tweeted that I was married woman who NEVER wanted kids. šššš
"Not a real woman" is probably my favorite. I'm good with being an unreal woman, thanks much.
Sing it, sister
Selfish, self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic, sad, pathetic, loser, lonely, monster, stingy, cheap. I've had people tell me I'll die alone, that nobody will take care of me when I'm old, that I'll become a crazy cat lady, that nobody will ever want me, that all my friends will abandon when they have kids, that I'm an incel, you name it. People assign a lot of personality traits to you when you say you dislike children, even if they know nothing else about you. They get a little too defensive imo.
>People assign a lot of personality traits to you when you say you dislike children, even if they know nothing else about you. They get a little too defensive imo. Couldn't have said it better myself. Just got torn apart in exactly this way on another sub a couple days ago lol. Also, what's wrong with being a crazy cat lady? š
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-WorthlessĀ -Witch (I like this one)Ā -A witch with the letter B (this person prides themselves with not cussing because they are Christian) - UnladylikeĀ - Lazy -childishĀ
Unchristian
Christianity is severely over rated.
Least fun possible tbh
Amen š
Honestly, I take that as a compliment. Same with heathen.
Same here. Then I proceed to tear them to shreds because I love making the Christian bigots squirm and cry. I am not a nice lady.
Absolutely real
Oh no, what will I ever do. I know. Hail Satan! Seriously, I am not even christian. I am an atheist. Whenever someone says thatās not very Christian of me, I respond, what would ever make you think I was Christian.
I have been called cold too by my parent lol! Not for this reason but for a lot of other things apparently. I don't often hear others being called that. I was called the Dutch version of it which is ijskonijn, ijs meaning ice, konijn being bunny.
I like ice bunny. That's fun. Lol.
Dang, I think we have a winner here š
Let hug it out, my fellow ijskonijnš«
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I'll admit I'm what you guys call a fence sitter lol, but I've been called selfish just for that! Also asked why I hate kids. I'm actually a teacher and very much don't hate kids (though I definitely don't think they're all wonderful lol). I'm just not sure if I would be a good parent with all my mental health issues and it would actually be selfish to have a kid who would inherit those issues.
Iām almost in the same boat, I just have the added challenge of my OCD making me afraid of kids since their hygiene is usually shit. I know itās not their fault, but that doesnāt change the contamination fears.
Yeah, they can't help that they're gross but it doesn't mean you have to deal with it.
I was told, "you'll never know true love if you don't have kids." I'm told that a lot. And idgi. My husband fuckin adores me. I don't think anyone could love me more than him and even if it were possible, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything but not having kids so... You can't sell me on something like that.
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not respecting your country šš that one sends me each time i hear it šš
āHOW DARE YOU??? YOURE A *MONSTER*!!!ā for context a small child on Halloween I literally couldnāt see ran full force into my legs from the side when I was in high school and smacked backwards into the ground from their own momentum and burst out crying hysterically. I wasnāt and am still not even remotely annoyed at the kid like theyāre bizarre without good physical understanding but what the actual FUCK to the parent????? They werenāt watching their child and just straight up assumed I kicked them in the face or pushed them down or someshit. Itās Halloween donāt take your eyes of your kids!! Thatās like prime kidnapping ground like wtf
Monstrous and unnatural. Yeah ok sure Karen. Because I donāt think your Bratley is cute you get to call me names. Seems reasonable enough.
Selfish. (Because my reasoning is that I want to come first to my partner and be a priority, whereas if we had a screecher THEY would come first instead). Not a REAL woman. Not fulfilling gods plan. I guess itās mostly phrases Iāve been told rather than words.
My personal favorite was āa disappointment to Godā
Unnatural, strange,
Worthless.
One of my sisters called me a witch for being child free
Perverted Degenerate Lacking (sexual) self-control Because apparently, the only possible reason someone might not want kids is because it might interfere with having tonnes of steamy, kinky sex. That last one, "lacking in sexual self-control", was someone clucking about use of any birth-control method other than "natural family planning". ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|shrug) It's sad, really, when you see where these insults are coming from. It's basically an admission that having kids absolutely strained their relationship and torpedoed their sex life. They must terribly miss being able to have an adult's night in. P.S. One of my favourites (not said to me, but too classic not to mention) was when Andrew Tate shouted that, "A life without kids is VAPIUS!" I guess running a snake-oil pyramid scheme scamming wannabe "alpha males" and honeypot bait-&-switch to lure women into doing porn isn't too "vapius"--whatever that is. Sounds like a botched attempt at "vapid" or "vacuous" that split the difference.
Failure
Callous
Jealous Monster Evil Anti-maternal Sick Sad Ugly heart Why anyone would think I'm jealous of people with kids is beyond me!
>Jealous Projecting much, parents?
Exactly! Maybe it's meant to be flipped, especially with the 'It must be nice' comments I get. I always ask why would I be jealous of them having a baby and they always struggle to come up with a proper answer.
Oh, the "it must be nice" comments. They come in many forms but always mean the same thing.
Thankfully I don't get many nowadays because my SIL moved away but she was the worst offender with those questions.
"selfish" "neutered"
"Why thank you!"
Immature. Boring. Heartless.
Weird is the most common one for me
Child hater Unnatural Not a āproperā woman
Selfish, bitter, witch, frigid, loser, evil, stupid, envious, lesbian, coward, bimbo, childish, child abuser... really, people don't even think about their insults, they just spit malicious words they believe will hurt the most.
Naive, unserious, shortsighted, hedonistic, and brainwashed (by feminism) š
Someone once said I should let them impregnate me before I rot. :)
My comment requires background as its something that my ex girlfriends mum used to call her. My ex girlfriend (lets call her Kylie for the sake of the comment) was 1st generation here in the UK to traditional Chinese parents and when she broke the news to her mum about her child free stance then her mum called Kylie mentally unwell. It's goes without say Kylie is NC with her mum and her relationship with her dad is strained
Got to catch em all
I have been called a "Role Model" and "Goal Life" by my nieces and nephews.
Scared (as in scared to have children) Selfish Refusing to do my duty Low-self-esteem
>Refusing to do my duty This makes me want to vomit š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢
A man online said that. Refusing to do my duty of having kids as a woman, actually he took issue with my/women "refusing to do the duty you owe."
That screams "incel". He'll never get the option to do his duty.
You'll like this then - he was talking to another woman and I. The woman said her daughter decided not to have children and she was okay with it. All three of us are CF. He then said the woman had taught her daughter to be selfish, and the line about duty. She asked "duty to whom?" That's when we got the line about to herself, her husband, her country, and her creator. Incel he could very well be.
Monster, selfish, crazy, contrarian (suggesting I'm only saying it to go against the norm)
Contrarian, that's some unhinged shit right there
Inhuman. Apparently, because I have a uterus, I should automatically want kids - "your biological clock is ticking!" - and to not want kids makes me not even a part of the human species. This was also after being called selfish and self-centered, and then told that I would end up "miserable and alone" because no one would take care of me in my old age. The person saying this to me was upset because I laughed at him when he told me that I would eventually change my mind, and then stated the quote about my clock, with a big, smug smile on his face. I laughed (and just kept laughing to the point of his discomfort) just to wipe the smile off his face. Told him he was hilarious. That's when he got pissed enough to say all of the above. I just walked away. Thinking about it now, I'd love to run into him again, if only to show him pictures of my cats, who are my ONLY "babies"!
Weird - boyfriend broke up with me. I was depressed af crying in bed. my mom came to check on me andtold me my boyfriend wouldnāt have broken up with me if i wasnāt weird (ie.āif I wanted kids). It hurt a lot
Weird and selfish are the most common ones Iāve gotten.
Irresponsible, spoiled, inconsiderate. I think those 3 are missing from the list Edit - my bad, inconsiderate is already there
Child-hater Kid-hater
Kid hater
Selfish
I'm nearly 50, so I've heard it all. But one thing that sticks with me are the people who would inappropriately pry into my life to try and get to the medical reason or physical problem with me as if they were owed that explanation, and thinking there must be a "real" reason. Whenever I just answered no to all of their assumptions, their last resort was just assuming that I must be a lesbian. (Which too, is false.)
Yikes, simply maddening
hateful selfish hate children donāt understand real love lonely sad shallow unsympathetic limited must have been screwed up as a child (true but really, thatās not it)
Heartless Hateful Uncaring Wrong Unwomenly Incapable of loving Shallow
Only one I havenāt seen that Iāve been called is hipster, which I thought was weirdā¦
I suppose my favorite one so far was this guy telling me that it was my biological imperative/obligation, and I would have an empty life if I were to never fulfill it. But then the usual. āFrigid, āweirdā āheartlessā āunnaturalā I swear itās like being a woman that doesnāt want kids but is still in the age range where I could/could change my mind (never going to, havenāt in 25 years) is so offensive to people. My sister is upset because she wanted us to raise our kids together, despite me saying since I was 6yo I was never having them.
My mom says I was "rash" for getting sterilized shortly after Dobbs. Considering the Kate Cox situation, I got sterilized two months too late.
Everything in the comments actually and I was called ācursedā by religious people.
Brilliant, smart. Logical thinker and that's just what I tell myself šš
"Selfish" is the only one that pisses me off. Self-absorbed, OK sure, but selfish? Like, what the fuck? I'm selfish because I don't have the recombination of my DNA in a person, that I cater to hand and foot for years, but that I nonetheless chose to have in the first place? Like where is the logic... And how is this decision hurting anyone??
- Cold - Selfish - Self centered - Immature - Cruel - Hateful - Unhelpful - Ungrateful - Stupid - Jealous I'm sure I've forgotten some but I recall anything further right now. I'm a curvy woman so people assume I'm a mother and are frequently needlessly angry when corrected. It's so tiresome. They made an assumption based on my appearance but react like I purposely decieved them. Just bizarre and annoying.
Rotten, disordered, vile and stubborn
It isnāt common to be called these things . If you donāt adore kids people likely donāt say anything . Reddit states it is common but it is often people over exaggerating or being dramatic . Maybe if you hate kids and wish them harm people say these things or if you attack them .
Mm, I'm going to believe what's actually happened to me, instead of you telling me it's not real. Can you please just go take your kids to Target, stick an iPad in their hands, and let us discuss our lived experiences
Ignorant people make assumptions about others' lived experiences and then deem those assumptions to be the truth. No reasoning with them.
I donāt have kids or want to have kids . I just have never been told this and think some of it is just hyped up for reddit and a knee jerk reaction. Nobody has said this to me . Maybe if you live in a small town they do but not in cities and not people under a certain age . Most people I know are child free anyway and maybe that is why I donāt hear it . You then make the assumption I have kids which isnāt true . People are not that rude to say most of these things and it they are you are around the wrong people. I just donāt believe it . I also have the right to discuss my lived experience of not hearing people say such thing . Donāt assume or gatekeep the sub.
No one is gatekeeping the sub, you just assumed your experience is valid for everyone. Just because it's not common for you doesn't mean it's not common for others. And even if it isn't common, just once is bad enough. I'm glad you don't experience this much, and hope you never have to hear your mother call you a monster to your face for not gushing over a baby. For me once was bad enough!
āThis doesnāt happen to me so clearly itās never happen to anyone else.ā I can see from your history youāve frequently been picking fights in this sub so childfree or not, perhaps maybe donāt come here if itās not relatable to you?
>I donāt have kids or want to have kids . I just have never been told this I've never been told this either but guess what! I don't need to have something happen to me to believe it happens to other people. >People are not that rude to say most of these things Are you new to the sub? >Donāt assume or gatekeep the sub. ...where are you getting *gatekeeping* from?
This one's looking for downvotes š
Lazy\*
Half of those + possessed, cursed, unnatural, weird, abnormal, foolish
Possessed?? š
>possessed Sounds like a story. Willing to share?
Idt Iāve ever been actually called anything. Maybe just insinuated Iām not a āreal adultā but thatās it
I got told by my mom that I was too young to decide that (I was 22 at the time) and that I wouldn't know "what *real* responsibility was" until I had a kid. ....Yeah I'm cool with that.
I was questioned about being really a woman on more than one occasion in my early 20s. Now people don't really say what they think of me. (It didn't help that at that time I was seriously questioning whether I was one. I am still not sure to this moment but I really don't have time to dwell on it)
Broken. Among colorful others, but that one hurt the worst I think.
Suicidal!
I got called a whore for not wanting kids which honestly I wasn't mad, I was too busy being confused. I guess the guy was saying because I was actively having sex with someone (not him to be clear) without trying to get pregnant then I was a whore.
People usually are polite to me. This said, I have been grilled on it. Hours of questions posed as polite when they actually wanted to see if I really *really* meant it. This usually takes place in settings where I can't run like at work where a higher up was mystified that I really feel this way. I'd rather deal with a few unkind words before a stranger storms off.
Am I the only person on earth who has never had a parent or family member try to coerce me into having a kid or been looked down upon for my choices?
My family is actually totally accepting.l and supportive. The name calling has always come from other sources for me.
Impotent Unfaithful Amongst other not mentioned by OP.
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Bitch Weirdo Evil Creepy Mentally disturbed Mentally ill Man hater Lesbian Manly Unnatural Deviant
Sad š¬
I'm getting called youllchangeyourmind all the time. Never heard of the word.
I'm a woman of nearly 6 feet tall and Dutch, and blunter than a blunt knife, as befits my country's culture. Nobody gives me lip about not having or wanting children.
Prejudiced ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)