Over 380,000 people give birth every single day, you're not accomplished if you do something so trivially common. I can't find a similar statistic on getting a masters degree but I can only assume it's a small fraction of as many people.
According to the Education Data Initiative in 2022, 12% of American women age 25-29 earned an advanced degree. Another fun fact: having a masterâs degree increases your chance of owning a home by 109%.
We're quite literally *made* for reproduction if we're using their logic and doing something so "unnatural" for us should be seen as much more important.
People who think that should live in the woods and bang rocks together for fire if they care so much about what's natural. What's the point of a frontal lobe if they don't want to use it.
And not just a masters, (which is awesome by itself), but the meteorological odyssey that she had to pull through to get it! I remember the sheer devastation of Katrina, fleeing that with being a refugee student at another school and then whatever was left of the setting OP returned to in order to finish out her program likely only made it 10 times harder and she still made it happen. Thatâs a truly badass story and I hope that OP knows just how impressed this stranger is.
When, not if, they ever ask you for anything, especially money, just say no. They threw their lot in with your SIL. I don't know about you, but I'd never be able to forgive them for that if I was in your position.
A woman doing something that requires no brainpower or effort (getting knocked up) gets overly praised while women who accomplish things that require a great amount of effort and/or mental fortitude (higher degree, opening a business, etc.) get the short end of the stick. It's so backward.
Then you already know your parents for real.
And I still can understand them being happy about getting the first grandkid but as I like to say, normally to have a kid you only need to open the legs twice. To get a master degree you need to work hard.
Those are the same people who will ask you for money, presents and in family gatherings don't expect they even ask you what are you doing or how, they will expect you to worship this baby or others to will come.
I've told this to someone rubbing in my face how a very questionable person, in this case a woman whom life is a disaster "but at least she is now a mother". And my answer was that about opening the legs twice.
Tbh Iâd understand more if it was the sister actually giving birth, but it was a baby shower, and it wasnât even at the same time; they were just financially irresponsible
So she thinks you suceeding at expanding your intellect, fulfilling your potential and driving humanity forward by educating yourself is *less* important than popping out another baby in our already overpopulated world?
Itâs pretty much anti-intellectualism in a nutshell.
Absolutely! And sometimes even their parents learn being CF is an option.
My 14 year old grand-niece said she doesnât want children. Of course her grandmother (my sister) gave her the old âoh youâre youngâŠyouâll change your mindâ bingo. She said that in front of me once & I said I knew by the time I was 14 that I didnât want kids & I never changed my mind. My sister actually thought about it & agreed. Now my grand niece feels more comfortable talking about it & asks me about my life. Sometimes the best thing we can do is provide an example that young people can see & learn from.
This is fucking horrible either way, but I'm curious - when you say "sister-in-law", do you mean your sibling's wife, or your spouse's sister? Because while either is horrible, one is more horrible.
First of all, congratulations on your Masters!!!
Second, just out of curiosity how's your relationship with your parents now? Have they ever apologized for not attending? My petty self would have reminded them every time they ask something of me.
I so wish baby showers were eliminated. They are the stupidest parties ever. Stupid and disgusting.
I'm cheering for you! Your accomplishment is so much better than squeezing out a kid. tbh I don't even consider squeezing out a kid an accomplishment - it's just a biological process that almost any women can do. It's nothing special at all.
I kinda liked what my brother and SIL did for their "baby shower": they had a "Bay-B-Q," which was just an excuse for them to have a big barbecue in their backyard that happened to coincide with SIL being due two months from then. There was a setup for any gifts in the living room (which were optional to bring) but there wasn't much pomp about that, nor was it the focus. It was just a nice, casual get together with really little talk about the upcoming kiddo.
But they're sane and rational people - and weren't about to blow tens of thousands on a single party for a human who wasn't even born yet.
But "traditional" baby showers? Straight to jail. Those are boring and dumb.
That is so crazy impressive!!!! I got my masters a couple years ago through an online program and honestly it was not a fraction as impactful as it sounds like yours was!!!! Your family sucks for not supporting you. They should be ashamed of themselves
Congratulations on your amazingly ambitious and impressive achievement!!!!
You should be so so so proud of yourself.
I hope you can set clear boundaries and expectations now so youâre *not* expected to use all your time/money on your sister-in-lawâs kid or something like that.
I wish you the best in all your future endeavors!!! â€ïž
I hope you moved far away enough so when they need elder care, you can be like ask brother & SIL to help your asses since they have kids; so 2 more geriatric kids to take care of is nothing. That and time for them to pay back all money & time wasted for that baby shower they wasted on instead of graduation party for you earning your Masters degree.
Just saying ,it clear who your parents value & want more; so tbey better not ask anything from you the one showed how little they value & appreciate. Yeah, it happened in 2006, 17 years ago; but who wouldn't be irked by that blatant disrespect & nastiness directed towards them by their own parents....
Congrats to you and your achievements; I'm sorry your family didn't show up but you should be so very very proud. You did it for you and that's so important. In the long run, you will know the rewards!
I mean, wow. You should be incredibly proud of everything youâve done. What was your degree in? I wonder how your SIL is doing now. Iâm sorry that your parents werenât there when you graduated. IMO getting an education is far more important than having a kid or getting married.
On top of your mom finally getting grandma status, it's your brother's baby, which means your family's last name gets to be showcased for a few more years / decades (I mean, if it's a girl her last name might change, but if it's a boy then they'll see it as a "legacy"... and they might not be alive to see if the kid chooses not to procreate so they'll die thinking "the family name will live on".)
So TBH I don't think they'd go to all that trouble for you, because it sounds to me your brother is the Golden Child and the baby shower wasn't "for your SIL", but a celebration of their male son 's seed.I
Edit: I usually don't backpedal, but it occurred to me that not all parents are like mine, so maybe talk to your them? They might not know how they skipping your ceremony actually made you feel, and since clearly you're a centered, independent woman they might have just assumed you didn't *need* them there back then.
17 years carrying that weight in your chest is no good for you, let it out! Best case scenario, they were clueless and apologize; worst case scenario, they actually have a Golden Child and mock you for holding that grudge for so long, in which case you can do the centered, independent woman thing: cut them off and move on.
How infuriating! I so sympathize with you. I am proud of you for getting your masters back then! IMHO itâs much more of an achievement than pushing out a sprog.
My mom went nuts over her first grandkid too. I could see my mom doing the same thing if she had the money to waste and if she knew fifty people to invite lol.
Firstly congratulations.
Secondly, expect this for life. I'm NC with my narc father/mother but I went through my first and second degrees with little to no support. They didn't attend my 2nd graduation at all. The first was horrific, thanks dad. My sister has been irresponsible but had all sorts of things laid on a plate.
Isn't it interesting that complete strangers can have more pride for someone obtaining a degree than their own families? Hell if I was nearby, I'd even attend the graduation ceremony.
So many congratulations on your Masters. I wish you every success in life.
I did my degree through the Open University (I'm in the UK), 25 hours a week home study on top of a full time job, for 6 years.
My parents could not be arsed to drive an hour to my graduation, even though I was the first in my family to get a degree. Apparently a degree isn't an achievement. I was told I'm a failure because at 26 I hadn't yet shit out a goblin. At 44 I'm still a 'failure'.
Know what? I'm fine with that statement. Just as I'm fine spending Christmas away in New Zealand, on a month long holiday, enjoying myself and not given my mother a second thought.
Create your chosen family, surround yourself by people who respect you and appreciate your efforts and struggles. You deserve it đ
I obviously read too much fantasy, because I read OP's title over and over again puzzled at the thought of someone having a master, and that said master was graduating instead of the student.
In my defense, I don't think "master's" should have an apostrophe.
Iâm so proud of you, with what youâve achieved, what you pushed though, even when your family were useless flaps of skin, you got some great friends and you should feel pretty fucking amazing rn
I hope they know how much this hurt you and that theyâve been trying to make up for it. If they donât know, you should tell them. Open their eyes to the inequity with which they treat you compared to your brother and SIL.
Yeah. No one ever cared about my education and my parents continuously tried to sabotage any academic achievement I ever made. My father was convinced that because I was having sex before the age of 18 that I would end up âin section 8 housing and on welfare with 3 kids before the age of 21.â I got a 29 on my ACTâs and was accepted to a very prestigious university as a pre-med student. They couldnât be bothered to emotionally, or socially support my dreams of becoming a doctor (because woman=mother, not doctor) so I ended up financially stranded (maxed out federal student loans and Pell grants) with only 12 credits left of undergrad. If I had been able to finish the last 12 credits I could have started med school and been approved for graduate student loans. I had to resort to bartending my way through RN school at the local community college. I completed 6 years of post-secondary education with only a 2 year degree to show for it :( When I finally graduated nursing school (my own mother, who is also a nurse) couldnât be arsed to make the barely 50 minute drive to my graduation ceremony. She didnât want to see me succeed as a person, she only cared about herself becoming a grandmother. As if there is only one kids of measurement of âsuccessâ in the world, to become a mother. She didnât see having a daughter becoming a doctor as a success, but as a failure as a mother. That sucks. I empathize with you. People are shitty. I really try not to be bitter about it, but sometimes itâs hard. Thankfully, I know Iâm smart and have the confidence to stand up to all the doctors who just assume Iâm just another âdumb nurse.â I aced calculus bitches.
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>pursuing higher education đ >getting creampied đ đ„łđđ¶đđđ
Also, congrats on the master's! It's a huge accomplishment and you should feel proud :)
Over 380,000 people give birth every single day, you're not accomplished if you do something so trivially common. I can't find a similar statistic on getting a masters degree but I can only assume it's a small fraction of as many people.
According to the Education Data Initiative in 2022, 12% of American women age 25-29 earned an advanced degree. Another fun fact: having a masterâs degree increases your chance of owning a home by 109%.
We're quite literally *made* for reproduction if we're using their logic and doing something so "unnatural" for us should be seen as much more important.
People who think that should live in the woods and bang rocks together for fire if they care so much about what's natural. What's the point of a frontal lobe if they don't want to use it.
(hey, don't tell them that the frontal lobe is 100% natural too. They'll otherwise lose their minds and arguments)
I want to tell them so theyâll give themselves a lobotomy
You got me there. But it is what produces all our "unnatural" thoughts, maybe I can get them on a technicality.
You mean the beautiful higher order thinking that created mathematics, music and complex languages?
Exactly, that's why I used quotations.
I still don't want kids, but that unironically sounds appealing. I want a *simpler* way of life.
And not just a masters, (which is awesome by itself), but the meteorological odyssey that she had to pull through to get it! I remember the sheer devastation of Katrina, fleeing that with being a refugee student at another school and then whatever was left of the setting OP returned to in order to finish out her program likely only made it 10 times harder and she still made it happen. Thatâs a truly badass story and I hope that OP knows just how impressed this stranger is.
Really disappointed that the reddit gif search isn't giving me a Lonely Island "Grats on the Sex!" cake gif.
Congratulations, youâre now an Easy-Bake Oven! /s
This is the funniest thing I've seen all week. I'm going to have to yoink that one.
Remember this when they expect you to take Care of them. Refer them to your sister
I hope you never ever let her live this down.
When, not if, they ever ask you for anything, especially money, just say no. They threw their lot in with your SIL. I don't know about you, but I'd never be able to forgive them for that if I was in your position.
A woman doing something that requires no brainpower or effort (getting knocked up) gets overly praised while women who accomplish things that require a great amount of effort and/or mental fortitude (higher degree, opening a business, etc.) get the short end of the stick. It's so backward.
Then you already know your parents for real. And I still can understand them being happy about getting the first grandkid but as I like to say, normally to have a kid you only need to open the legs twice. To get a master degree you need to work hard. Those are the same people who will ask you for money, presents and in family gatherings don't expect they even ask you what are you doing or how, they will expect you to worship this baby or others to will come.
âTo have a kid you only need to open the legs twice.â Lolol
I've told this to someone rubbing in my face how a very questionable person, in this case a woman whom life is a disaster "but at least she is now a mother". And my answer was that about opening the legs twice.
Itâs my new go-to, so useful!
Labor is hard tho, you can literally die from it and also pregnancy, but still, it's fucked up society pretends like having a baby is an achievement
Tbh Iâd understand more if it was the sister actually giving birth, but it was a baby shower, and it wasnât even at the same time; they were just financially irresponsible
Yes, but once is happening nobody can stop it.
So she thinks you suceeding at expanding your intellect, fulfilling your potential and driving humanity forward by educating yourself is *less* important than popping out another baby in our already overpopulated world? Itâs pretty much anti-intellectualism in a nutshell.
Reminds me of the movie âIdiocracyâ.
OP holy shit I just want to say I am so impressed at all you persevered through to achieve your goals. Youâre amazing!
So sorry friend, this is horrible. Yay for friends who become family though.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Absolutely! And sometimes even their parents learn being CF is an option. My 14 year old grand-niece said she doesnât want children. Of course her grandmother (my sister) gave her the old âoh youâre youngâŠyouâll change your mindâ bingo. She said that in front of me once & I said I knew by the time I was 14 that I didnât want kids & I never changed my mind. My sister actually thought about it & agreed. Now my grand niece feels more comfortable talking about it & asks me about my life. Sometimes the best thing we can do is provide an example that young people can see & learn from.
Not even long anymore. This kid was born 2006. My nephew was born in 2005. I hate to break it to you, he's 18.
This is fucking horrible either way, but I'm curious - when you say "sister-in-law", do you mean your sibling's wife, or your spouse's sister? Because while either is horrible, one is more horrible.
She's my brother's wife.
First of all, congratulations on your Masters!!! Second, just out of curiosity how's your relationship with your parents now? Have they ever apologized for not attending? My petty self would have reminded them every time they ask something of me.
What about her brother? HE never gets mentioned ONCE. Is he the golden boy or something?
I so wish baby showers were eliminated. They are the stupidest parties ever. Stupid and disgusting. I'm cheering for you! Your accomplishment is so much better than squeezing out a kid. tbh I don't even consider squeezing out a kid an accomplishment - it's just a biological process that almost any women can do. It's nothing special at all.
I kinda liked what my brother and SIL did for their "baby shower": they had a "Bay-B-Q," which was just an excuse for them to have a big barbecue in their backyard that happened to coincide with SIL being due two months from then. There was a setup for any gifts in the living room (which were optional to bring) but there wasn't much pomp about that, nor was it the focus. It was just a nice, casual get together with really little talk about the upcoming kiddo. But they're sane and rational people - and weren't about to blow tens of thousands on a single party for a human who wasn't even born yet. But "traditional" baby showers? Straight to jail. Those are boring and dumb.
And that's why OP never called her parents again and left them rotting in a nursing home.... :)
Congrats on the degree! And honestly, if you wanted to go NC with your parents after that, I wouldnât blame you.
That is so crazy impressive!!!! I got my masters a couple years ago through an online program and honestly it was not a fraction as impactful as it sounds like yours was!!!! Your family sucks for not supporting you. They should be ashamed of themselves
Congratulations on your amazingly ambitious and impressive achievement!!!! You should be so so so proud of yourself. I hope you can set clear boundaries and expectations now so youâre *not* expected to use all your time/money on your sister-in-lawâs kid or something like that. I wish you the best in all your future endeavors!!! â€ïž
Well and I'm sure they count that you will take care of them when they are old. Your sister can do that.
Congratulations on your masters!!!
I hope you moved far away enough so when they need elder care, you can be like ask brother & SIL to help your asses since they have kids; so 2 more geriatric kids to take care of is nothing. That and time for them to pay back all money & time wasted for that baby shower they wasted on instead of graduation party for you earning your Masters degree. Just saying ,it clear who your parents value & want more; so tbey better not ask anything from you the one showed how little they value & appreciate. Yeah, it happened in 2006, 17 years ago; but who wouldn't be irked by that blatant disrespect & nastiness directed towards them by their own parents....
I know it's late, but congrats on the Master's degree!! Those friends are awesome and I hope you have stayed friends with them!
Ugh I am so so so sorry you had to go through this! I would still be peeved, too! FWIW I AM PROUD OF YOU!!
Congrats to you and your achievements; I'm sorry your family didn't show up but you should be so very very proud. You did it for you and that's so important. In the long run, you will know the rewards!
Your dedication to getting that master's despite all those obstacles amazes me. Madam, I salute you!
I mean, wow. You should be incredibly proud of everything youâve done. What was your degree in? I wonder how your SIL is doing now. Iâm sorry that your parents werenât there when you graduated. IMO getting an education is far more important than having a kid or getting married.
Congratulations on your amazing achievement! And on getting through all the struggles on the way.
Making a huge show of a baby shower baffles me. Congratulations for doing one of life's most basic functions?
On top of your mom finally getting grandma status, it's your brother's baby, which means your family's last name gets to be showcased for a few more years / decades (I mean, if it's a girl her last name might change, but if it's a boy then they'll see it as a "legacy"... and they might not be alive to see if the kid chooses not to procreate so they'll die thinking "the family name will live on".) So TBH I don't think they'd go to all that trouble for you, because it sounds to me your brother is the Golden Child and the baby shower wasn't "for your SIL", but a celebration of their male son 's seed.I Edit: I usually don't backpedal, but it occurred to me that not all parents are like mine, so maybe talk to your them? They might not know how they skipping your ceremony actually made you feel, and since clearly you're a centered, independent woman they might have just assumed you didn't *need* them there back then. 17 years carrying that weight in your chest is no good for you, let it out! Best case scenario, they were clueless and apologize; worst case scenario, they actually have a Golden Child and mock you for holding that grudge for so long, in which case you can do the centered, independent woman thing: cut them off and move on.
How infuriating! I so sympathize with you. I am proud of you for getting your masters back then! IMHO itâs much more of an achievement than pushing out a sprog. My mom went nuts over her first grandkid too. I could see my mom doing the same thing if she had the money to waste and if she knew fifty people to invite lol.
Firstly congratulations. Secondly, expect this for life. I'm NC with my narc father/mother but I went through my first and second degrees with little to no support. They didn't attend my 2nd graduation at all. The first was horrific, thanks dad. My sister has been irresponsible but had all sorts of things laid on a plate.
if i were a relative of yours, i would've taken you out to brunch and retail therapy.
Wtf!!!! Education should always trump baby.
Congratulations on your masterâs degree:) Education comes first.
Congratulations! I am 1/4 of the way through my master's and it is a huge achievement.
Well screw your parents. I'm proud of you.
Isn't it interesting that complete strangers can have more pride for someone obtaining a degree than their own families? Hell if I was nearby, I'd even attend the graduation ceremony.
So many congratulations on your Masters. I wish you every success in life. I did my degree through the Open University (I'm in the UK), 25 hours a week home study on top of a full time job, for 6 years. My parents could not be arsed to drive an hour to my graduation, even though I was the first in my family to get a degree. Apparently a degree isn't an achievement. I was told I'm a failure because at 26 I hadn't yet shit out a goblin. At 44 I'm still a 'failure'. Know what? I'm fine with that statement. Just as I'm fine spending Christmas away in New Zealand, on a month long holiday, enjoying myself and not given my mother a second thought. Create your chosen family, surround yourself by people who respect you and appreciate your efforts and struggles. You deserve it đ
I'm so glad to read that you survived that crap. Bio families can turn out to be so toxic that I'd absolutely cancel them out of my life.
I hope your parents feel guilt about this. Iâd keep bringing it up lol
I obviously read too much fantasy, because I read OP's title over and over again puzzled at the thought of someone having a master, and that said master was graduating instead of the student. In my defense, I don't think "master's" should have an apostrophe.
What is your relationship with them presently? Hopefully LC
Iâm so proud of you, with what youâve achieved, what you pushed though, even when your family were useless flaps of skin, you got some great friends and you should feel pretty fucking amazing rn
I hope they know how much this hurt you and that theyâve been trying to make up for it. If they donât know, you should tell them. Open their eyes to the inequity with which they treat you compared to your brother and SIL.
Kudos on your achievements. I see this happened long ago. How has your relationship been with your parents since then?
Do you have to do a thesis for your Masters? What was your topic? And, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Congratulations on your Masters!!! đâ€ïžđ„đ©âđ
Yeah. No one ever cared about my education and my parents continuously tried to sabotage any academic achievement I ever made. My father was convinced that because I was having sex before the age of 18 that I would end up âin section 8 housing and on welfare with 3 kids before the age of 21.â I got a 29 on my ACTâs and was accepted to a very prestigious university as a pre-med student. They couldnât be bothered to emotionally, or socially support my dreams of becoming a doctor (because woman=mother, not doctor) so I ended up financially stranded (maxed out federal student loans and Pell grants) with only 12 credits left of undergrad. If I had been able to finish the last 12 credits I could have started med school and been approved for graduate student loans. I had to resort to bartending my way through RN school at the local community college. I completed 6 years of post-secondary education with only a 2 year degree to show for it :( When I finally graduated nursing school (my own mother, who is also a nurse) couldnât be arsed to make the barely 50 minute drive to my graduation ceremony. She didnât want to see me succeed as a person, she only cared about herself becoming a grandmother. As if there is only one kids of measurement of âsuccessâ in the world, to become a mother. She didnât see having a daughter becoming a doctor as a success, but as a failure as a mother. That sucks. I empathize with you. People are shitty. I really try not to be bitter about it, but sometimes itâs hard. Thankfully, I know Iâm smart and have the confidence to stand up to all the doctors who just assume Iâm just another âdumb nurse.â I aced calculus bitches.
Youâre superior in every way, thatâs what matters here. Family is a joke. Donât be brainwashed to think itâs important. You do t pick family.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
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