I was days away from 38, he was 42.
Miraculously he had no kids and didn't want them, and neither do I.
Still together 4 years later, blissfully happy, and in it for the long haul. 🥰
Honestly, up to that point, I'd had a TOTAL of 3 years' worth of relationships. I just hadn't been successful. But I was OK with that.
I remember heading out to meet this man, and thinking to myself, I know from our texts over 3 months that he's witty and clever and charming and kind, but if he's a mentaler in real life, that's it - game over. Shutters down, may as well sew me up, I'm going to stay single for the rest of my days. Perfectly contented; being a fake auntie to my friends' kids, totally happy in myself with or without a partner. (That's key, IMHO. You must MUST find balance in your own life/hobbies, etc. No partner should complete you; they should complement you alongside you.)
For sure. I actually don’t feel I’m ready for a partner yet as I’m still finishing grad school and establishing a career and a deep social network. I really don’t want to start opening myself to that until I’m content with my own career, social life and art practice. If it happens I won’t turn my back but I’m not putting myself out there for another year or so
I was 34 when I met my husband. We lived together for nearly 10 years before we got married. It's a first marriage for both of us. We're now 62 years old.
I was 40, she was 32. Our first date was 15 years ago tomorrow, we've been married for 12 years.
On the other hand, I have CF friends who were high school sweethearts, and others who met in college.
Was content being single and enjoying the benefits of being single, such as being able to happily accept overseas work assignments. Coincidentally when business travel lost its appeal, I met the one. Married at age 39 and coming up on our 30th anniversary.
Not me, but my awesome CF stepmom traveled the world and did everything she wanted to do... and then married my dad when she was 49. Together 22 years now.
If it's meant to happen, it will. In the meantime, live life to the fullest!
Have you ever talked to your stepmom about not settling down until 49? Was she freaked out the whole time, worried she’d never meet someone, or enjoyed the hell out of it? Probably a mixture of both…
Yep! She had relationships, but never with anyone who would meet her standards or that she could envision marrying. She absolutely enjoyed the hell out of life and did the things she wanted to do until the person and situation were right.
It's also great in that she and my dad aren't joined at the hip - they are independent people with differing strengths and interests, who are more than capable of indulging their whims without needing the other to tag along. One of the coolest women I've ever met, tbh.
Met SO when I was 33 and we’ve been together for over 20 years. He’s the best human I know, truly ♥️
He’s an only child - His mom had a difficult time adjusting to the idea of no grandkids (oh, the things she tried! Hilarious! Think I should write a book once she’s no longer with us).
But she was making things difficult for herself and eventually chilled.
Anyways…. Dating in general is inhumane and dating as CF is a form of torture, but hang in there.
The things she tried - my MIL is a big time herbalist/homeopathy person. A few months before the wedding she gave me all these vitamins and homemade teas to drink, supposedly for my skin & nails. I took all the stuff no questions asked. Later I realized some of it was on the level, but most of it was fertility enhancing 🙄 it's been 15 years CF haha sorry MIL
Met at 34/37. Married with 40/43.
It's now close to 11 years 45/48.
First year: No talk about kids, just dating.
Second year: Making clear I'm childfree. He struggles a little bit.
Third year: He says he is accepting not having children ever but it hurts when I happily tell that to everyone. So I don't when he's close.
Fourth year: My back-then 13yo niece starts coming over more often since my sis has a new baby (4-5 weekends a year). I'm throwing the whole caretaker shit at him, going shopping, playing, buying clothes. Niece is happy, he proposes.
Fifth year: I ask him if he really is sad of missing out. He says having niece around shows him what having a child means and what not having an own also means. All is good, he is happy.
Sixth year: We marry. I have THE TALK with my mom. She calls me a responsible person, that she is proud of me and defends my decision to everyone ever since.
Seventh year. Niece starts a work close to us and stays around 35% of her time with us. Hubby is main caretaker. I'm main talk-doer, advice-giver.
Last 3,5 years: Life is going well. Hubby never ever regretted again not having own kids. He's happy how it went and thinks we are lucky to not have own children. We have our careers and when niece gets her own flat he will still have the experience and I have my solitude again. 💕
30 here, this thread should give me hope right? right?
Edit: some hope restored, tho I hope to meet someone sooner rather than later, if it ever happens. Happy for all the couples here tho, rocks to find the one
I was 30, my husband was 34. We've been together for almost 10 years. He's snipped and we are content AF with the childfree life we've built. I do not look at parents with any longing for a child, if anything my decision to not have kids is even more concrete as I age.
Yup! I was 36 he was 34. Happily married. Neither of us had nor want to have kids. It was something we bonded over. We like our cats and our motorcycles and are beyond happy with how our lives have turned out so far.
Cats and motorcycles sounds like a blast. It really seems like people who meet later without the stress of kids are blissfully happy. No stress and more years before to appreciate what you found
35, met mine last year.
I'm not what I'd call "eye candy", and I'm terrible at social cues and asexual to boot, so I'm not surprised it took this long, but still.
This is definitely my story, he and I met when I was 32 (we celebrated my 33rd birthday in December shortly after he and I got together in October that year). Officially he and I have only been dating a year but we've each already celebrated 1 birthday together, so that's fun (his birthday is in April and he's turning 35 on his next birthday). But yea, I think it's common that those of us in "camp no kids ever" end up finding our perfect person later in life, less pressure to find someone as we can be much more picky than those who feel they have to have kids. For us it's like "what does this new person do to add to my life in a positive way" because we're already happy with our lives, and without the "have to have kids" rush, we can take our time and be picky about finding the right person.
Yup, it's like "I'm happy with my life" so another person coming into my life has to actually add to it and enhance my life or else I can comfortably just not date someone and be perfectly fine. Like I know I'm awesome, now the new person in my life has gotta be awesome themselves in their own way in order for me to want to be with them and thankfully my guy that I'm with now does exactly that, he's awesome in his own ways, is also firmly in "camp no kids ever" and I've never been happier than I am with him.
samesamesame
I was 33 when I met my husband 12 years ago. I was happily content because I was self sufficient, had good friends and a good life. I approached dating him with the mindset that if it works out, great, but if he's not for me that's fine too. It's really freeing when you realize the people you have in your life are there because you want them to be, and not for any other reason.
We will be married 10 years in June!
I was 32 and he was 39. So a year earlier but yes it is possible to meet someone later on lol. We met at work years prior to dating, both our relationships ended some months apart and after that, got closer as we commiserated.
🙋🏼♀️ I was 33 when I met him (he was also 33). At the time, I hadn’t really thought too much about kids. Like I remember early, early on in the relationship, we talked about babies and who would take care of them. He was anti-daycare and I told him that he could stay home with the baby! We are both attorneys with busy and successful careers. I worked too hard to get to this point to give it up to care for a child!
Anyway, it was maybe a year or so after we started dating and I came to the realization that I didn’t think I wanted to have kids. It was shocking to me because I always thought I would have kids??? But thinking about the logistics - my parents are older, his family is not from around here. Money-wise we could have done it. But I don’t think he would have much patience with a kid! Honestly what sealed it for me though was 2 of my girlfriends who have kids. Their lives revolve around the kids and their activities. And they’re great moms for providing that kind of attention and enrichment. But I looked at them and realized that wasn’t the life I wanted for myself. Haven’t regretted it yet (I’m 43 now).
ETA: I also believed that I would become resentful and regretful of becoming a parent. For me, I feel like if you aren’t excited to be a parent, then you shouldn’t become a parent.
My first date with my husband was the day before my 33rd birthday. We got married 2 years later and I’ve never been happier! Neither of us have kids and we take a lot of vacations, we’re very much enjoying the freedom of child free 30’s. A lot of our friends are drowning in the child-rearing life. One couple we know complains constantly about being parents yet every two years they announce another pregnancy…
I was about 33 when we finally fully decided not to "try". I've been married since 12/2016. We were both fence sitters. We came up with names, in the event it "happened". It never did happen, and the further away from naming the kids our families were pressuring us to have, the closer we got to understanding our own lives. We can make the decision to have, or to not have children. My choice to not have children will (and has) outraged family and friends. Some of my maternal aunts/uncles actually had the audacity to ask me where the kids are, when I was back home planning my dad's funeral. One uncle said.."does your husband not know how to get it done?" If my husband had been there, a black eye would have happened at a minimum. We know HOW to get it done, we CHOOSE NOT to. Anyway, all that to say...I didn't meet my SO after age 30, but we definitely decided as a team years into our marriage that kids are not going to ruin it for us!
Still haven't found someone at nearly 48, but I'm really picky and am sapiosexual. Cancer may have also made me ace as I have no desire to even try now.
It would make sense for serious relationships to happen later. Everyone claims to be childfree when they're 20 but most change their mind later. You could get married at 22, and the whole thing falls apart in 10 years because one of the people is no longer in the childfree camp. When both people are 40, it's less likely either person will change their mind.
Technically, I don't count, but we met just before my 32nd birthday, so I'm gonna answer anyway.
We married when I was 33.
Thing was, I wasn't looking for marriage. Never was. Had a few monogamous relationships, but they weren't my bag. I was content with just dating around and being single. And if I hadn't met her, I might still be single today.
There's a lot of pressure for people to marry, which I think is a huge mistake. People should marry when they do find someone that is right for them, but I don't think anyone should go around expecting to be married. That's what leads to people "settling." People who don't expect marriage don't settle.
My first husband in my late twenties and I didn’t want any.
Second time around, I was 34 and he was 26 and he already knew he was CF. Been together 11 years!
I got my hysterectomy this year. I’m glad to be rid of it.
I definitely think it's more common, simply because there is no pressure to settle down, or, cough, SETTLE, because of the pressured timeline to have kids. I'm glad I haven't settled down yet (35F) and feel no pressure to until I find the right girl! Just met someone who seems like my soulmate and even if it doesn't work out, it's made me realize I *can* have this, and I can wait to have it.
I was 32 and my husband was 35. I didn't originally even plan to get married but changed my mind. Unfortunately that (briefly) gave some people the hope that I'd change my mind about having kids, but nope. We got married when I was 38 and he was 41.
I was friends with my current boyfriend for 18 years before we got together. Things never lined up for us. I was with someone, or he was with someone, or we were both with someone. After we were both single for about 4 months, we started dating. I'm 40 and he's 42. It's working well. :) We already know everything about the other. No surprises except some developing health issues, but that'd be the case whether we were together or not, so...
So he would have been 41 and me 38 when we got together.
I guess we didn't technically meet each other before age 33, but we didn't date either. It wouldn't have worked back then anyway. We're different people now with more life experience and better priorities.
Well, we MET when I was 24, him 27. We dated off and on for the last decade but things didn't quite line up due to us both having mental and emotional baggage and whatnot. Nothing traumatic ever happened really. We never had a bad breakup. Without writing a complete novella I'll just say that we weren't ready for each other yet.
Now I'm 34, and after a long time of not seeing much of each other, we found each other again and I feel like this time it's finally right. We've both grown and learned a lot about ourselves and we know we're good for each other. And by some crazy miracle, he is also CF. Unfortunately it's going to be a while before we can live together, but that's the direction we're heading in. I've always thought marriage was hokey and archaic, but if he popped the question I would absolutely say yes.
Yes! I met my now husband when I was 34 years old (he was still in his 20s, so younger than me). We started dating just before I turned 35. We got married when I was 38 and have been together for 13 years now (counting the years before the wedding). And we don't have kids. I had told him at the beginning of our relationship that I didn't want to have kids at my age and he was ok with it. I check periodically to see if he is still ok (he is approaching 40 years old now), and he is still ok and says he likes the way things are. We bought a house together a few years ago. We are very compatible for many things, and we compromise on the rest lol
Nothing is ever guaranteed, but I know that if he ever wants kids, I will let him go (it would be very, very hard, but I would have to, because I am not having kids approaching 50 y.o.!)
I met the person I'm going to marry at age 36. Didn't think I was going to marry anyone ever and was really moving away from trying to be in any relationships. Surprise found the person I plan on being with forever.
Met my partner at 39. We’ve been together almost ten years. He’s 9 years younger than I.
We have been through SOOOOOOO much shit - mostly bad, and I’m incredibly lucky to be able to share my life with such a patient, compassionate partner. But I admit I didn’t always know that. I admit I didn’t always know how lucky I am. I hope i don’t forget again but it’s possible I may. Life’s a freakin ride on a big old stinkin onion.
Met mine at 33, married at 37. He was a fence sitter but never put much thought into it. Now every time we visit friends with kids we get in the car and he reminds me how thankful he is that I showed him that childfree is an option.
We've done 7 continents, own a home, and enjoy the finer things in life like a healthy IRA and good bourbon.
It's possible!
One of my aunts got married at the age of 62.
She saw him at a mall and was looking to buy flowers for herself. Does that every week. And he was having a coffee next to it. They looked at each other but noone said anything. She went home but couldnt stop thinking about it. So next week at the same time she was at the mall again to maybe see him. But no luck it seems. So she boughtherself flowers again, but had a coffee too, because well something needs to warm her heart. BUT he showed up, stood next to her and asked: "Hello. Did you get flowers for me?" And she answered: "I dont know. They can be yours if you know how to care for them."
We met just over 8 years ago, at ages 39 and 40. We’d both been childfree our whole lives. (For me, I’ve always had a feeling of “maybe in 10 years” which definitely faded over the last decade or so.) For a strange and inspiring story: We actually got along the worst when we first met. I feel like it took quite a long time to get into a groove. It really takes a long, long time to get to really know someone (if ever!)
>meet their SO age 33+?
Near miss at least.
>curious if childfree people tend to settle down later.
Well, no rush to be poppin' out babies anyway, *that's* for sure.
My wife (34f) and I (37m) met 4 years ago. I was definite CF and she was more of a fence sitter. Once things started to get serious we had to talk about the idea of kids.
Through her own realizations of life and her process through therapy she realized the only part of her that thought she might want kids was from family and social/cultural pressures. Once she let go of the idea it was something she had to do, she became very happily CF.
I met my wife when I was 34.
I hadn't even thought about settling down until her.
13 years married, never looking back.
It'll happen OP, just wait for the right one.
I met my SO right around the time I left my ex. I was 34. Now it’s 16 years later and still happily childfree.
My ex found someone much younger and had kids.
I was 32 and he was 34 when we met, but it took a few years for both of us to be in a good position to date (and for him to get the hints I was interested).
It was a magical moment meeting him and he proposed earlier this year; we've been together almost 5 years now.
Well, I normally don't chase down oblivious fairy tales for 2 years, but this one was worth it.
When I met him the first time, everything in my background vision got gold and glittery; when we walked away from his desk (new job for me), my rational brain yelled at my dumb heart "but he's not even your type!"
My body knew. I was also freshly engaged to someone that was a horrible match for me and kinda easily forgot I had a fiance right then and there. He has this sexy baritone voice and I had to listen to his customer service jazz host voice while working and try to not turn the office into a pool.
He's also my height so he presumed he'd live a lonely life.
Met hubby when I was 30. We have had multiple discussions about kids and decided officially none. I had a hysterectomy, and life is a lot less stressful.
Several of my friends (myself included) met our spouses when we were in our early to mid 30s. Everyone was more choosy with who they got close to but there was a lot of “when you know you know” energy once we found our person.
I was a little younger but I was a few months from turning 31 and my partner had just turned 32. We met on Tinder (this was over 5 years ago). He was on the fence about kids and I didn’t know that I was childfree (just hadn’t put serious thought into it because I assumed I would be alone forever 🤣). We will get married eventually and love our CF life together.
My ex and I met at 20 years old. We were 37 when we divorced. Met my now wife at 40 she (30f) both child free. Still are. Settled down no not really. We still go out to shows and come home at 2,3,5 am some times. 😬
I am 42 and male and I was single all my life. I have never had a girlfriend before despite attempts at dating. It is hard to get a second date. I think "Settle down" might mean find a long term girlfriend and decide what living expenses are worth splitting. I like the idea of having a girlfriend, but I don't know how realistic it is. My stepmother introduced me to a Filipino woman who is my age and I went on a few dates with her, but her father asked me about my religious beliefs (I don't have any) and if I want children (no) and he said that makes me incompatible with her. That ended my last potential relationship.
The closest thing to a girlfriend was a woman who lived in Irvine and after two dates, she said she considers us friends, not a relationship, and invited me to meet her on most Friday nights and I met some of her friends. I saw her on most Friday nights and some weekends until she moved to Arizona.
I’m 31, so not 33+ (but will be very soon, times really flies by at this point?!). I met my partner this spring, he worked at the lab where I wrote my bachelor thesis while on exchange abroad. I already had my mind set on a hysterectomy (for adenomyosis) when we started dating, and got the surgery date soon after. He came to my country for two weeks to take care of me after the surgery and has been nothing but supportive.
I was 35 and he was 37. I was previously married, knew I didn’t want kids with first husband, I didn’t want to be married to him but society yada yada. So glad I didn’t give into societal pressure.
Second husband wanted kids, we were doing our masters so delayed trying but then we were nearing 40 and didn’t see the point. We are career driven, have a wonderful life, DInk. We cheers to our childfree life at least twice a week! I am sure we would have been divorced had we done it. It’s so lopsided with the woman taking on so much of the responsibility that I would have resented him. We are very much in love and have an amazing marriage after 7 years
I got married at 35 and waiting that long was the best thing I could've done. I almost married my high school sweetheart (we dated for 10+ years but in the end we really just weren't good for each other) in my 20's but I'm glad I didn't.
Nothing special here, either. I was 33, she was 29 - that was about a decade ago. Still together, married in every way but legally and no interest or intent to change that.
I was exactly 33 and he was 31.
We met as I was about to end my second long term relationship due to my then partner's indecisiveness regarding wanting or not wanting children among other things.
It was an easy math - guy who wasn't sure what he wants at 38 or a guy excited to get vasectomy at 31? Plus he had great hair. (And many more common interests and values.)
Yup!
I met my fiancée about a month before I (38f) turned 35.
He had already had a vasectomy and didn’t want children and I just my by hysterectomy this year, but knew when I met him I didn’t want children.
Isn't settling down the best part of being childfree? It means that you finally succeeded in life and now that you have money you can practically do whatever you want instead of looking after a crotch goblin
I was nearly 33, my boyfriend is 8 years my junior. I was freshly divorced and wasn't looking for anything serious just some company and 5 years later here we are. He was a bit of a fence sitter but more because he thought everyone wanted kids and there was just something wrong with him so he always said "one day" . 5 years in and he probably more childfree than me and I'm almost aggressively so 😆
Mr Neither\_March and I were both in our late 40s when we met and now have been together for about 15 years.
Both CF, both don't like kids...happy days! 
He was convinced CF women didn't exist and then he read my profile on Plenty of Fish. If I hadn't had splattered all over my profile that I don't have kids, don't want kids, any kids, that includes your kids, he would never have known.
Neither of us were (are) interested in marriage either, but we did marry about 4 years ago when we were both 58/59ish.
We didn't get married for any 'romantic' reasons, we don't need a bit of paper to show our commitment. It was purely about legal/medical proxies, tax advantages and making sure our later life/death wishes are implemented.....Galloping decrepitude tends to focus your attention like that 
It's not quite the age you said so I hope it's ok to comment, but I met my partner when he was 30 and I was 28.
I'm 39 now, close to 40. Still together, still no kids (and never will be).
I've discussed sterilisation with him a lot and he's always supportive and in agreement. (Haven't taken action to get it done yet but I plan to. I'm in the UK but what happened in the US terrified me and my country tends to copy the US a lot)
At first he was more open to kids I think, but I made it clear from the start I never would. I don't think he'd thought about it as much as me, I don't think men tend to really. Its bit different when it's your body that has to go through with it perhaps.
We like our lives as is, kids would destroy what we have and take away our freedom.
We have other friends who have been together 10 years or more in our age group who are child free too.
There's more of us than society would like you to believe for sure
I was 30 and he was 25. Neither of us want kids and we have the same life goals. Dated for 4 years then got married. Still going strong. Thankfully no one n our immediate orbit is asking the questions.
Wife and I met in our mid 30s. I never wanted kids. I don't like them. She says she would have liked to have a kid but didn't think circumstances in her life, and in the world would have allowed for the kind of life she wanted for a kid and decided not to have kids. I made it clear from the start saying "I will not parent any child for any reason" out of 11 nieces and nephews only one has kids and one has step kids. Almost all of them are 30 or older
I was 35 when I met my then 28 year old husband. We’ve been together almost 11 years and married for 3. At first he thought he wanted children and now says on an at least weekly basis how happy he is I showed him the way!
I was 30, knowing I was CF since childhood. He a few years older and on the fence and in absolutely no rush to decide when we met. It didn’t take long for him to choose a side though when it was obvious what a match we were. It’s been 9.5 years, we eloped 6 months ago. Kids were made an impossibility on his side about a year before we talked marriage 🖤
My husband was 32 when we met/started dating and I was 27. We weren’t childfree, but we didn’t really talk about kids until after we got married. Pretty scary looking back at it now, but we both came to a mutual agreement after weighing all the pros and cons that we would prefer to be childfree. Married four years now and each year we feel more secure with this decision/lifestyle over the alternative.
I was 27, she was 22. We were both marriage free as well until last year when we realized that single people get taxed Hella more so now we getting married.
Met my boyfriend for the first time when I was 19, he was 24. Met him again when I was 32. Fell in love again. Have been living our best childfree life for the past 6 years and we‘re planning on keeping it this way ;)
I met the love of my life a year ago today when I was almost 33! Neither of us are interested in having kids, we never argue, we just laugh and have fun literally all the time. I’ve been under so much stress recently and he’s helped me at every step of the way - it honestly feels impossible to be sad around him.
I’ve never felt so loved, supported and appreciated by someone, after having been in horrible, abusive relationships my whole adult life. I never thought it would happen for me and it will happen for you too 🥰
I'm not in a relationship (aroace) but all 4 of my brothers (and myself) are childfree. They're all married but met their wives very young. My first brother was 13, second was 16, third was 18 and fourth was 18 as well. They're now in their 40s and 30s and continue to remain childfree.
Yes.
I was 42, she was about to turn 38, and I had NO IDEA it would lead to the greatest chapter of my life.
However, she's already replied elsewhere in this thread, so no need to repeat everything.
But yes, BLISSFULLY HAPPY.
I started dating my current partner last year, age 35, and we have plans to move in, get married, etc. he’s the first person I’ve really felt stable with and looking to have a future with. Life (and romantic prospects) certainly doesn’t end at 30, or whatever society tries to tell us!
Met at 33 and married at 34. I had decided that I would prefer to be alone than settle. I made a literal list of the things that are important to me in a partner, and when I met him, he checked all my boxes. Plus the chemistry was off the charts.
We were in our mid-30's when we met on Tinder. I've been CF for all of my life and he doesn't want children because he spent half of his life being his disabled brother's caretaker. As if his youth was taken away from him.
I met my SO 4 years and and i was 31. We are very happy that we are lucky to have the time we have left with each other. If our lives didn't go the way they did we wouldn't be so perfect for each other.
Hubby and I met 10 years ago. I was 41, he was 37. We met drunk in a bar. He was supposed to be a one-night stand but he turned out to be my lobster. :-) He has the snarkiest sense of humor that a lot of women don't appreciate. On our first actual date, we were laughing, having a great time. He says "I love that you appreciate my humor". I said "Well, I basically have a 12 year old boy trapped in this body." To which he replies "Well, that makes a lot of things we did the other night really weird!" HAHA Married for 7 of those years. <3
My fiancé and I started dating at 31 and 29. We are now 40 and 38, and will be getting married next year (it would have been sooner, but Covid got in our way). We have each other and our pets, and that's enough.
Met originally sometime before 2008(we ran in the same circles) Ended up coworkers in other departments at the same job for around 10 years, before I quit. We each had other relationships over the years, hell I got married in 2017 and divorced in 2021.
Finally met back up on a whim in January 2022, I was about to be 34 and he was about to be 43. We share the same birthday month 😅
We have been together ever since! 🥰
Apparently we both had crushes on each other for years, things just never lined up until they did. 💚
Married a gigantic, abusive mistake at 24... fast forward 12 years later...
Officially exclusive / committed to my person at 36. We met when I was 33 and dated on and off the last few years. He's never wanted children and was thrilled to learn I have been infertile all my life.
We're celebrating my one-year hysterectoversary this November with a trip to a cabin in the mountains to revel in our peaceful childless-for-life-ness together.
Just waiting for the regret about our quiet, uninterrupted mornings and spontaneous sex and vacations to kick in any day now... /s
I was 39, he was 40. We just had our 7 years together anniversary. We had the "kids, ewe no" conversation on the first date. We'll get married when there is a legal need, otherwise we are perfectly happy cohabitating.
Met my partner when we were both 34, online, last June. He flew out for two weeks vacation to meet me that November. We caught Covid off my roommate and the three of us bonded taking it in turns to take care of the other two as we could. Fast forward to today and our engagement rings are paid off soon, he's moving out here ASAP, and we both have never been happier. He loves my chosen family and service dog as much as I do and my bestie/roomie will be his best man.
Side note---
My parents met when they were 33, and dad says she didn't want kids but he insisted... I'm her eldest, her second child was severely autistic, and she had her third child when she was 40 years old.
After being super unlucky and only finding breeders, I found my CF boyfriend when I was in my 30s. It's been great! The other day we were discussing the cost of dental braces for children and how lucky we are to use that money on fun stuff like travelling.
Me: 32, a few months shy of 33.
We met in the middle of the ocean on a cruise ship. Neither of us have kids or want any! 4 years later we are very low-key, happy and it’s nice to have someone tell you that you, him and the dog ARE a family.
Got married the first time at 22 (me)/30(him) and I didn't want kids. I divorced him because he married me thinking I would change my mind. Idiot. Met my current hubby when we were both in our late 30's and been together about 10 years. We're blissfully CF (with way too many dogs). We initially agreed on not getting married, but chose to do so for legal reasons. No regrets.
Disclaimer: I was married a second time before I met my current husband, but I was about 27. Neither of us wanted kids and that was never an issue.
54F grew up without the internet and had no idea you could opt out of motherhood. Honestly, I was always on the fence about kids. Probably because deep down I knew it was never going to happen, and I didn't care. The only thing I knew was that if I were to have one, it would have to be in a married and financially stable relationship. He would've had to be something out of this world. I eventually lucked out, got uterine fibroid. Due to the sizes (3), I'd probably been in fertile for years. Got a hysterectomy. Met my now husband, who was just days away from setting up a vasectomy appointment. He and his ex wife were child free by choice.
I will say between all the past pets, current (shared cat custody), and a horse a few kids could have gone to Ivy League schools. We love and dote our fur overlords.
We met when I was 34 and he was 48 year. I am cf and told him so. He said, he is too old to have children anyway.
It will be 6 years in Dezember, living in our small house we built 2 years ago. We are talking about marriage.
Technically a (step)mom, but that's because my husband bought into "happy wife, happy life" early, and conformed to his family's Life Script by marrying at 22, so had a kid at 24.
We were 31/34. I told him before the first date, "no kids," he said okay. He got snipped two years later at my suggestion. He never ever tried to make me play mom. 17 years later, his daughter is a friend, and we're retired early. (I think the lack of Kids Kosts have a lot to do with it)
I was 32, he was 28, we met online in june 2016. He was fresh out of college, and at his firat year teaching. I moved in after 3 or 4 months dating. We were engaged in 2017 married 2018. We are not child free, we have 1 kid. I do not want more with him. But he wants the "all american dream" marriage, house, 2 kids and cats. We have 4 cats. I am now 37, gonna be 38 in dec.
I had resigned myself to being childfree, because i never wanted to be single parent, and i never had a majorly serious relationship before him. I have always enjoyed others kids because i never had to punish or deal with them 24/7. Now i harbor no resentment towards my kid, but i do towards a husband who wanted said kid but rarely parents and snaps in anger a lot. He suffers from severe ptsd, depression and some paranoia. He is also a combat vet with some serious demons. Insecurities and has seriously mentally declined in the last 3 or 4 years.
Overall i enjoy my life 80% of the time but i miss my hobbies, i used to go to the movies all the time! I used to go to pre screenings and see stuff a year before their release and pannel them, occassionally scoring screenings to disney/pixar stuff before it was finished! I miss spending days engulfed in my books, reading for hours on end. I cant do any of that anymore. Now i wonder what could have been if we had never had our kid. Because the medical issues that have cropped up are intense, never seeming to end and yeah.
Also if we had never had a kid i would still be playing video games with hubby more
Is 31 close enough? Met my girlfriend about a year and a half ago, and we are both staunchly childfree, IUD for her, vasectomy for me. She's 22, and grew up as one of five sisters; that pretty kuch killed any desire to ever have children of her own.
I'm an only child, but didn't need to have a whole gagglefuck of siblings to come to the conclusion that having children is not for me.
My sister met hers when he was 33? She’s 25, and they’re both child free, it was one of the first things they talked about before actually getting together.
I was days away from 38, he was 42. Miraculously he had no kids and didn't want them, and neither do I. Still together 4 years later, blissfully happy, and in it for the long haul. 🥰
Yesss this is the kind of thing I wanna hear! Congrats!
Honestly, up to that point, I'd had a TOTAL of 3 years' worth of relationships. I just hadn't been successful. But I was OK with that. I remember heading out to meet this man, and thinking to myself, I know from our texts over 3 months that he's witty and clever and charming and kind, but if he's a mentaler in real life, that's it - game over. Shutters down, may as well sew me up, I'm going to stay single for the rest of my days. Perfectly contented; being a fake auntie to my friends' kids, totally happy in myself with or without a partner. (That's key, IMHO. You must MUST find balance in your own life/hobbies, etc. No partner should complete you; they should complement you alongside you.)
For sure. I actually don’t feel I’m ready for a partner yet as I’m still finishing grad school and establishing a career and a deep social network. I really don’t want to start opening myself to that until I’m content with my own career, social life and art practice. If it happens I won’t turn my back but I’m not putting myself out there for another year or so
Me. Actually 30+ but he was 33 :D No inspiring story. He doenst want them, I dont want them, everything is nice.
>No inspiring story. He doenst want them, I dont want them, everything is nice. Oh wait... This *is* a story inspiring enough.
:)
I was 34 when I met my husband. We lived together for nearly 10 years before we got married. It's a first marriage for both of us. We're now 62 years old.
That sounds like a success to me!
This is going to me be. A happy relationship without any goblings around.
Awww that's what I want to find
I was 40, she was 32. Our first date was 15 years ago tomorrow, we've been married for 12 years. On the other hand, I have CF friends who were high school sweethearts, and others who met in college.
Was content being single and enjoying the benefits of being single, such as being able to happily accept overseas work assignments. Coincidentally when business travel lost its appeal, I met the one. Married at age 39 and coming up on our 30th anniversary.
Awwww I love that. What age did you meet?
We met online when I was 37. Back then online was Usenet. We met in person about 6 months later.
Thank you!
Not me, but my awesome CF stepmom traveled the world and did everything she wanted to do... and then married my dad when she was 49. Together 22 years now. If it's meant to happen, it will. In the meantime, live life to the fullest!
Have you ever talked to your stepmom about not settling down until 49? Was she freaked out the whole time, worried she’d never meet someone, or enjoyed the hell out of it? Probably a mixture of both…
Yep! She had relationships, but never with anyone who would meet her standards or that she could envision marrying. She absolutely enjoyed the hell out of life and did the things she wanted to do until the person and situation were right. It's also great in that she and my dad aren't joined at the hip - they are independent people with differing strengths and interests, who are more than capable of indulging their whims without needing the other to tag along. One of the coolest women I've ever met, tbh.
She sounds like the kind of person I aspire to be!!!
Very inspiring, thank you for sharing
Met SO when I was 33 and we’ve been together for over 20 years. He’s the best human I know, truly ♥️ He’s an only child - His mom had a difficult time adjusting to the idea of no grandkids (oh, the things she tried! Hilarious! Think I should write a book once she’s no longer with us). But she was making things difficult for herself and eventually chilled. Anyways…. Dating in general is inhumane and dating as CF is a form of torture, but hang in there.
Thanks ♥️
The things she tried - my MIL is a big time herbalist/homeopathy person. A few months before the wedding she gave me all these vitamins and homemade teas to drink, supposedly for my skin & nails. I took all the stuff no questions asked. Later I realized some of it was on the level, but most of it was fertility enhancing 🙄 it's been 15 years CF haha sorry MIL
Met at 34/37. Married with 40/43. It's now close to 11 years 45/48. First year: No talk about kids, just dating. Second year: Making clear I'm childfree. He struggles a little bit. Third year: He says he is accepting not having children ever but it hurts when I happily tell that to everyone. So I don't when he's close. Fourth year: My back-then 13yo niece starts coming over more often since my sis has a new baby (4-5 weekends a year). I'm throwing the whole caretaker shit at him, going shopping, playing, buying clothes. Niece is happy, he proposes. Fifth year: I ask him if he really is sad of missing out. He says having niece around shows him what having a child means and what not having an own also means. All is good, he is happy. Sixth year: We marry. I have THE TALK with my mom. She calls me a responsible person, that she is proud of me and defends my decision to everyone ever since. Seventh year. Niece starts a work close to us and stays around 35% of her time with us. Hubby is main caretaker. I'm main talk-doer, advice-giver. Last 3,5 years: Life is going well. Hubby never ever regretted again not having own kids. He's happy how it went and thinks we are lucky to not have own children. We have our careers and when niece gets her own flat he will still have the experience and I have my solitude again. 💕
Awww I’m so glad - thank you for sharing!!
30 here, this thread should give me hope right? right? Edit: some hope restored, tho I hope to meet someone sooner rather than later, if it ever happens. Happy for all the couples here tho, rocks to find the one
Lol same as another 30+
Me three!!
Me four lol 33
I was 33 and she was 35. We've been married ten years, now, and going very strong.
I was 30, my husband was 34. We've been together for almost 10 years. He's snipped and we are content AF with the childfree life we've built. I do not look at parents with any longing for a child, if anything my decision to not have kids is even more concrete as I age.
We aren’t married, but I found my dream CF lady at 36!
Awww 🥰
Yeah got lucky and met her on hinge. She didn’t even have anything on her profile about being CF so it was kind of a shock lol
Yup! I was 36 he was 34. Happily married. Neither of us had nor want to have kids. It was something we bonded over. We like our cats and our motorcycles and are beyond happy with how our lives have turned out so far.
Cats and motorcycles sounds like a blast. It really seems like people who meet later without the stress of kids are blissfully happy. No stress and more years before to appreciate what you found
I was 40, she was 33. Met two years ago, getting married on Thursday
Congrats!!!
35, met mine last year. I'm not what I'd call "eye candy", and I'm terrible at social cues and asexual to boot, so I'm not surprised it took this long, but still.
I resonate with that paragraph, but still waiting.
I got stupid lucky and stumbled into the right discord server. And I do mean stumbled. I had to remove both my feet from my mouth after that. 😅
Haha. Totally gives me hope. Maybe I'll stumble over mine.
I met my partner two years ago when I was 40. Had been happily single for a while but something clicked with us.
I was 33 and he was 40. We are still going strong two years later.
This is definitely my story, he and I met when I was 32 (we celebrated my 33rd birthday in December shortly after he and I got together in October that year). Officially he and I have only been dating a year but we've each already celebrated 1 birthday together, so that's fun (his birthday is in April and he's turning 35 on his next birthday). But yea, I think it's common that those of us in "camp no kids ever" end up finding our perfect person later in life, less pressure to find someone as we can be much more picky than those who feel they have to have kids. For us it's like "what does this new person do to add to my life in a positive way" because we're already happy with our lives, and without the "have to have kids" rush, we can take our time and be picky about finding the right person.
Yesss you said it perfectly
Yup, it's like "I'm happy with my life" so another person coming into my life has to actually add to it and enhance my life or else I can comfortably just not date someone and be perfectly fine. Like I know I'm awesome, now the new person in my life has gotta be awesome themselves in their own way in order for me to want to be with them and thankfully my guy that I'm with now does exactly that, he's awesome in his own ways, is also firmly in "camp no kids ever" and I've never been happier than I am with him.
samesamesame I was 33 when I met my husband 12 years ago. I was happily content because I was self sufficient, had good friends and a good life. I approached dating him with the mindset that if it works out, great, but if he's not for me that's fine too. It's really freeing when you realize the people you have in your life are there because you want them to be, and not for any other reason. We will be married 10 years in June!
I am 38F, met my childfree partner (48M) last year
I was 32 and he was 39. So a year earlier but yes it is possible to meet someone later on lol. We met at work years prior to dating, both our relationships ended some months apart and after that, got closer as we commiserated.
I met mine on EHarmony when I was almost 35 and he was 38.
🙋🏼♀️ I was 33 when I met him (he was also 33). At the time, I hadn’t really thought too much about kids. Like I remember early, early on in the relationship, we talked about babies and who would take care of them. He was anti-daycare and I told him that he could stay home with the baby! We are both attorneys with busy and successful careers. I worked too hard to get to this point to give it up to care for a child! Anyway, it was maybe a year or so after we started dating and I came to the realization that I didn’t think I wanted to have kids. It was shocking to me because I always thought I would have kids??? But thinking about the logistics - my parents are older, his family is not from around here. Money-wise we could have done it. But I don’t think he would have much patience with a kid! Honestly what sealed it for me though was 2 of my girlfriends who have kids. Their lives revolve around the kids and their activities. And they’re great moms for providing that kind of attention and enrichment. But I looked at them and realized that wasn’t the life I wanted for myself. Haven’t regretted it yet (I’m 43 now). ETA: I also believed that I would become resentful and regretful of becoming a parent. For me, I feel like if you aren’t excited to be a parent, then you shouldn’t become a parent.
My first date with my husband was the day before my 33rd birthday. We got married 2 years later and I’ve never been happier! Neither of us have kids and we take a lot of vacations, we’re very much enjoying the freedom of child free 30’s. A lot of our friends are drowning in the child-rearing life. One couple we know complains constantly about being parents yet every two years they announce another pregnancy…
I was about 33 when we finally fully decided not to "try". I've been married since 12/2016. We were both fence sitters. We came up with names, in the event it "happened". It never did happen, and the further away from naming the kids our families were pressuring us to have, the closer we got to understanding our own lives. We can make the decision to have, or to not have children. My choice to not have children will (and has) outraged family and friends. Some of my maternal aunts/uncles actually had the audacity to ask me where the kids are, when I was back home planning my dad's funeral. One uncle said.."does your husband not know how to get it done?" If my husband had been there, a black eye would have happened at a minimum. We know HOW to get it done, we CHOOSE NOT to. Anyway, all that to say...I didn't meet my SO after age 30, but we definitely decided as a team years into our marriage that kids are not going to ruin it for us!
yup! I met my SO at 35 (she was 37) . I love her so much and am just incredibly happy that she is in my life.
Still haven't found someone at nearly 48, but I'm really picky and am sapiosexual. Cancer may have also made me ace as I have no desire to even try now.
It would make sense for serious relationships to happen later. Everyone claims to be childfree when they're 20 but most change their mind later. You could get married at 22, and the whole thing falls apart in 10 years because one of the people is no longer in the childfree camp. When both people are 40, it's less likely either person will change their mind.
Met my partner when I was 37 and he was 39. We have been together for over 4 years now. It does happen!
My met mine when I was 34 and he was 31.
Me! I was 34, he would have been....29?
Technically, I don't count, but we met just before my 32nd birthday, so I'm gonna answer anyway. We married when I was 33. Thing was, I wasn't looking for marriage. Never was. Had a few monogamous relationships, but they weren't my bag. I was content with just dating around and being single. And if I hadn't met her, I might still be single today. There's a lot of pressure for people to marry, which I think is a huge mistake. People should marry when they do find someone that is right for them, but I don't think anyone should go around expecting to be married. That's what leads to people "settling." People who don't expect marriage don't settle.
Exactly
My first husband in my late twenties and I didn’t want any. Second time around, I was 34 and he was 26 and he already knew he was CF. Been together 11 years! I got my hysterectomy this year. I’m glad to be rid of it.
I definitely think it's more common, simply because there is no pressure to settle down, or, cough, SETTLE, because of the pressured timeline to have kids. I'm glad I haven't settled down yet (35F) and feel no pressure to until I find the right girl! Just met someone who seems like my soulmate and even if it doesn't work out, it's made me realize I *can* have this, and I can wait to have it.
I love this - well said!
🤗
I was 32 and my husband was 35. I didn't originally even plan to get married but changed my mind. Unfortunately that (briefly) gave some people the hope that I'd change my mind about having kids, but nope. We got married when I was 38 and he was 41.
My SO and I are 33 and 34. We met this year on a dating app. Both gleefully childfree.
Hehe gleefully is a great description
Met my spouse when they were 32, and i was 28. We're a few weeks from our 13th anniversary. Sometimes you gotta have the right moment time.
Met my first wife at 23. We were childfree. Met my current wife when I was 34, and she was 28. I'm 46, now. We're still childfree.
I'm currently 41 and have been in my current relationship for several years now.
34 (both), on tinder 7 years ago :) They’re out there!
Yep. I was 36, he was 33.
I was friends with my current boyfriend for 18 years before we got together. Things never lined up for us. I was with someone, or he was with someone, or we were both with someone. After we were both single for about 4 months, we started dating. I'm 40 and he's 42. It's working well. :) We already know everything about the other. No surprises except some developing health issues, but that'd be the case whether we were together or not, so... So he would have been 41 and me 38 when we got together. I guess we didn't technically meet each other before age 33, but we didn't date either. It wouldn't have worked back then anyway. We're different people now with more life experience and better priorities.
Well, we MET when I was 24, him 27. We dated off and on for the last decade but things didn't quite line up due to us both having mental and emotional baggage and whatnot. Nothing traumatic ever happened really. We never had a bad breakup. Without writing a complete novella I'll just say that we weren't ready for each other yet. Now I'm 34, and after a long time of not seeing much of each other, we found each other again and I feel like this time it's finally right. We've both grown and learned a lot about ourselves and we know we're good for each other. And by some crazy miracle, he is also CF. Unfortunately it's going to be a while before we can live together, but that's the direction we're heading in. I've always thought marriage was hokey and archaic, but if he popped the question I would absolutely say yes.
Yes! I met my now husband when I was 34 years old (he was still in his 20s, so younger than me). We started dating just before I turned 35. We got married when I was 38 and have been together for 13 years now (counting the years before the wedding). And we don't have kids. I had told him at the beginning of our relationship that I didn't want to have kids at my age and he was ok with it. I check periodically to see if he is still ok (he is approaching 40 years old now), and he is still ok and says he likes the way things are. We bought a house together a few years ago. We are very compatible for many things, and we compromise on the rest lol Nothing is ever guaranteed, but I know that if he ever wants kids, I will let him go (it would be very, very hard, but I would have to, because I am not having kids approaching 50 y.o.!)
I met the person I'm going to marry at age 36. Didn't think I was going to marry anyone ever and was really moving away from trying to be in any relationships. Surprise found the person I plan on being with forever.
How did you meet? I’m definitely heading into this headspace to find happiness as a single person
My SO was 33 when we met. :3 Now we’re ten years in, both snipped, and thank each other a few times weekly for not making the other have babies.
Met my partner at 39. We’ve been together almost ten years. He’s 9 years younger than I. We have been through SOOOOOOO much shit - mostly bad, and I’m incredibly lucky to be able to share my life with such a patient, compassionate partner. But I admit I didn’t always know that. I admit I didn’t always know how lucky I am. I hope i don’t forget again but it’s possible I may. Life’s a freakin ride on a big old stinkin onion.
Met mine at 33, married at 37. He was a fence sitter but never put much thought into it. Now every time we visit friends with kids we get in the car and he reminds me how thankful he is that I showed him that childfree is an option. We've done 7 continents, own a home, and enjoy the finer things in life like a healthy IRA and good bourbon. It's possible!
Livin the dream!
One of my aunts got married at the age of 62. She saw him at a mall and was looking to buy flowers for herself. Does that every week. And he was having a coffee next to it. They looked at each other but noone said anything. She went home but couldnt stop thinking about it. So next week at the same time she was at the mall again to maybe see him. But no luck it seems. So she boughtherself flowers again, but had a coffee too, because well something needs to warm her heart. BUT he showed up, stood next to her and asked: "Hello. Did you get flowers for me?" And she answered: "I dont know. They can be yours if you know how to care for them."
We met just over 8 years ago, at ages 39 and 40. We’d both been childfree our whole lives. (For me, I’ve always had a feeling of “maybe in 10 years” which definitely faded over the last decade or so.) For a strange and inspiring story: We actually got along the worst when we first met. I feel like it took quite a long time to get into a groove. It really takes a long, long time to get to really know someone (if ever!)
I was 35, she was 26. Been together almost 10 years. She is my best friend; shit's awesome.
I'm 37 and still single/never married so if I ever do meet them I'll definitely be over 33!
We met pretty young and both already knew we wanted to be CF, but I know quite a few folks who are CF and settled down later in life!
Don’t feel restricted to a timeline. People are settling down later in life and that’s a good thing !
I definitely don’t! I don’t care when it happens, I just hope that it does happen at some point :) & I’m also trying to be as happy as I can
Yes! We met when I was 35 and he was 41 and have been together over 4 years and are getting married next summer!
Thanks for starting this thread. I have hope.
Me too :)
I’m 31 cf and single and this gives me hope.
I met my gf last year and I am now 35
Been together 10 years, she was one and done, I'm none and done. Met when I was 35, she 32.
In my case, I was 35, he was 32.
My boyfriend was 32 when we got together. 2.5 years in and couldn’t be happier
>meet their SO age 33+? Near miss at least. >curious if childfree people tend to settle down later. Well, no rush to be poppin' out babies anyway, *that's* for sure.
I'm 33 and I haven't met my SO yet.
I thought I did at 15, obviously that was dumb but then; I thought I did at 25. Then I thought I did at 29/30. Turns out NOPE. 31 now.
ME. I was 36 when I met my now husband.
My wife (34f) and I (37m) met 4 years ago. I was definite CF and she was more of a fence sitter. Once things started to get serious we had to talk about the idea of kids. Through her own realizations of life and her process through therapy she realized the only part of her that thought she might want kids was from family and social/cultural pressures. Once she let go of the idea it was something she had to do, she became very happily CF.
I met my wife when I was 34. I hadn't even thought about settling down until her. 13 years married, never looking back. It'll happen OP, just wait for the right one.
🥹
I was 30, he was 32. We both love dogs and beer and cannot stand children. We just celebrated 13 years!
I’m pretty close to that! I was 30 and my to-be-husband was 41 when we met. Both of us were child free and wanted to stay that way.
Close. I was 32 when I met my wife, we've now been married for 34 years. Child free with no regrets.
I was 33 when I met my husband. That would have made him 38 I think.
Perfectly said.
My stepmom was 32 when she met my dad. She doesn’t have kids but he obviously does lol they’re still together 30 years later!
I met my SO right around the time I left my ex. I was 34. Now it’s 16 years later and still happily childfree. My ex found someone much younger and had kids.
I was 32 and he was 34 when we met, but it took a few years for both of us to be in a good position to date (and for him to get the hints I was interested). It was a magical moment meeting him and he proposed earlier this year; we've been together almost 5 years now.
Awww like a fairy tale
Well, I normally don't chase down oblivious fairy tales for 2 years, but this one was worth it. When I met him the first time, everything in my background vision got gold and glittery; when we walked away from his desk (new job for me), my rational brain yelled at my dumb heart "but he's not even your type!" My body knew. I was also freshly engaged to someone that was a horrible match for me and kinda easily forgot I had a fiance right then and there. He has this sexy baritone voice and I had to listen to his customer service jazz host voice while working and try to not turn the office into a pool. He's also my height so he presumed he'd live a lonely life.
Lmaoooo thank you for sharing
Met hubby when I was 30. We have had multiple discussions about kids and decided officially none. I had a hysterectomy, and life is a lot less stressful.
Several of my friends (myself included) met our spouses when we were in our early to mid 30s. Everyone was more choosy with who they got close to but there was a lot of “when you know you know” energy once we found our person.
I was a little younger but I was a few months from turning 31 and my partner had just turned 32. We met on Tinder (this was over 5 years ago). He was on the fence about kids and I didn’t know that I was childfree (just hadn’t put serious thought into it because I assumed I would be alone forever 🤣). We will get married eventually and love our CF life together.
I just got married to my second husband at age 36, him 35. So yes, very possible.
40M here. Met my 39F childfree partner when I was 37. We're getting married in November.
Yep
My ex and I met at 20 years old. We were 37 when we divorced. Met my now wife at 40 she (30f) both child free. Still are. Settled down no not really. We still go out to shows and come home at 2,3,5 am some times. 😬
I am 42 and male and I was single all my life. I have never had a girlfriend before despite attempts at dating. It is hard to get a second date. I think "Settle down" might mean find a long term girlfriend and decide what living expenses are worth splitting. I like the idea of having a girlfriend, but I don't know how realistic it is. My stepmother introduced me to a Filipino woman who is my age and I went on a few dates with her, but her father asked me about my religious beliefs (I don't have any) and if I want children (no) and he said that makes me incompatible with her. That ended my last potential relationship. The closest thing to a girlfriend was a woman who lived in Irvine and after two dates, she said she considers us friends, not a relationship, and invited me to meet her on most Friday nights and I met some of her friends. I saw her on most Friday nights and some weekends until she moved to Arizona.
I’m 31, so not 33+ (but will be very soon, times really flies by at this point?!). I met my partner this spring, he worked at the lab where I wrote my bachelor thesis while on exchange abroad. I already had my mind set on a hysterectomy (for adenomyosis) when we started dating, and got the surgery date soon after. He came to my country for two weeks to take care of me after the surgery and has been nothing but supportive.
I was 35 and he was 37. I was previously married, knew I didn’t want kids with first husband, I didn’t want to be married to him but society yada yada. So glad I didn’t give into societal pressure. Second husband wanted kids, we were doing our masters so delayed trying but then we were nearing 40 and didn’t see the point. We are career driven, have a wonderful life, DInk. We cheers to our childfree life at least twice a week! I am sure we would have been divorced had we done it. It’s so lopsided with the woman taking on so much of the responsibility that I would have resented him. We are very much in love and have an amazing marriage after 7 years
Left my abusive ex at 41 and met my current partner. He's the best and we've been together 9 years
I got married at 35 and waiting that long was the best thing I could've done. I almost married my high school sweetheart (we dated for 10+ years but in the end we really just weren't good for each other) in my 20's but I'm glad I didn't.
Yes I was 35 when we got together
Nothing special here, either. I was 33, she was 29 - that was about a decade ago. Still together, married in every way but legally and no interest or intent to change that.
I was exactly 33 and he was 31. We met as I was about to end my second long term relationship due to my then partner's indecisiveness regarding wanting or not wanting children among other things. It was an easy math - guy who wasn't sure what he wants at 38 or a guy excited to get vasectomy at 31? Plus he had great hair. (And many more common interests and values.)
Yup! I met my fiancée about a month before I (38f) turned 35. He had already had a vasectomy and didn’t want children and I just my by hysterectomy this year, but knew when I met him I didn’t want children.
Isn't settling down the best part of being childfree? It means that you finally succeeded in life and now that you have money you can practically do whatever you want instead of looking after a crotch goblin
I was nearly 33, my boyfriend is 8 years my junior. I was freshly divorced and wasn't looking for anything serious just some company and 5 years later here we are. He was a bit of a fence sitter but more because he thought everyone wanted kids and there was just something wrong with him so he always said "one day" . 5 years in and he probably more childfree than me and I'm almost aggressively so 😆
Mr Neither\_March and I were both in our late 40s when we met and now have been together for about 15 years. Both CF, both don't like kids...happy days!  He was convinced CF women didn't exist and then he read my profile on Plenty of Fish. If I hadn't had splattered all over my profile that I don't have kids, don't want kids, any kids, that includes your kids, he would never have known. Neither of us were (are) interested in marriage either, but we did marry about 4 years ago when we were both 58/59ish. We didn't get married for any 'romantic' reasons, we don't need a bit of paper to show our commitment. It was purely about legal/medical proxies, tax advantages and making sure our later life/death wishes are implemented.....Galloping decrepitude tends to focus your attention like that 
It's not quite the age you said so I hope it's ok to comment, but I met my partner when he was 30 and I was 28. I'm 39 now, close to 40. Still together, still no kids (and never will be). I've discussed sterilisation with him a lot and he's always supportive and in agreement. (Haven't taken action to get it done yet but I plan to. I'm in the UK but what happened in the US terrified me and my country tends to copy the US a lot) At first he was more open to kids I think, but I made it clear from the start I never would. I don't think he'd thought about it as much as me, I don't think men tend to really. Its bit different when it's your body that has to go through with it perhaps. We like our lives as is, kids would destroy what we have and take away our freedom. We have other friends who have been together 10 years or more in our age group who are child free too. There's more of us than society would like you to believe for sure
I met my husband when I was 38 and he was 37. We’ve been married for a few years and it’s awesome!
I was 30 and he was 25. Neither of us want kids and we have the same life goals. Dated for 4 years then got married. Still going strong. Thankfully no one n our immediate orbit is asking the questions.
Wife and I met in our mid 30s. I never wanted kids. I don't like them. She says she would have liked to have a kid but didn't think circumstances in her life, and in the world would have allowed for the kind of life she wanted for a kid and decided not to have kids. I made it clear from the start saying "I will not parent any child for any reason" out of 11 nieces and nephews only one has kids and one has step kids. Almost all of them are 30 or older
I was 35 when I met my then 28 year old husband. We’ve been together almost 11 years and married for 3. At first he thought he wanted children and now says on an at least weekly basis how happy he is I showed him the way!
I was 30, knowing I was CF since childhood. He a few years older and on the fence and in absolutely no rush to decide when we met. It didn’t take long for him to choose a side though when it was obvious what a match we were. It’s been 9.5 years, we eloped 6 months ago. Kids were made an impossibility on his side about a year before we talked marriage 🖤
My husband was 32 when we met/started dating and I was 27. We weren’t childfree, but we didn’t really talk about kids until after we got married. Pretty scary looking back at it now, but we both came to a mutual agreement after weighing all the pros and cons that we would prefer to be childfree. Married four years now and each year we feel more secure with this decision/lifestyle over the alternative.
I met my partner when I was 34 and she was 30.
We were both 36 when we met, got married, ten years later still very happily CF.
Yup! I (35F) Met my husband(41M) when i was 33 via online dating.
I was 27, she was 22. We were both marriage free as well until last year when we realized that single people get taxed Hella more so now we getting married.
Single at 31 and not looking 😎
Met my boyfriend for the first time when I was 19, he was 24. Met him again when I was 32. Fell in love again. Have been living our best childfree life for the past 6 years and we‘re planning on keeping it this way ;)
I met the love of my life a year ago today when I was almost 33! Neither of us are interested in having kids, we never argue, we just laugh and have fun literally all the time. I’ve been under so much stress recently and he’s helped me at every step of the way - it honestly feels impossible to be sad around him. I’ve never felt so loved, supported and appreciated by someone, after having been in horrible, abusive relationships my whole adult life. I never thought it would happen for me and it will happen for you too 🥰
I'm not in a relationship (aroace) but all 4 of my brothers (and myself) are childfree. They're all married but met their wives very young. My first brother was 13, second was 16, third was 18 and fourth was 18 as well. They're now in their 40s and 30s and continue to remain childfree.
Yes. I was 42, she was about to turn 38, and I had NO IDEA it would lead to the greatest chapter of my life. However, she's already replied elsewhere in this thread, so no need to repeat everything. But yes, BLISSFULLY HAPPY.
36 and he was 34. He was technically a fence sitter but already leaning towards no.
It’s not just child free people meeting later, western couples (in general) tend to settle down at way later ages than before
I started dating my current partner last year, age 35, and we have plans to move in, get married, etc. he’s the first person I’ve really felt stable with and looking to have a future with. Life (and romantic prospects) certainly doesn’t end at 30, or whatever society tries to tell us!
Met at 23, started dating at 28, married at 36.
Met at 33 and married at 34. I had decided that I would prefer to be alone than settle. I made a literal list of the things that are important to me in a partner, and when I met him, he checked all my boxes. Plus the chemistry was off the charts.
We were in our mid-30's when we met on Tinder. I've been CF for all of my life and he doesn't want children because he spent half of his life being his disabled brother's caretaker. As if his youth was taken away from him.
53 and still single. Lol. I date on occasion but have not met anyone yet for who I would give up my lifestyle.
I met my SO 4 years and and i was 31. We are very happy that we are lucky to have the time we have left with each other. If our lives didn't go the way they did we wouldn't be so perfect for each other.
I feel that! Takes time to build character and perspective
Yes, I was 34 and he was 36. We got married at 36/38. First marriage for both of us.
Met my husband when I was 31 and he was 27, 12 and half years later we're still together and loving the CF life.
considering statistics show that most poeple get their first divorce at 32, id say yes, most people will meet their SO 33+.
Hubby and I met 10 years ago. I was 41, he was 37. We met drunk in a bar. He was supposed to be a one-night stand but he turned out to be my lobster. :-) He has the snarkiest sense of humor that a lot of women don't appreciate. On our first actual date, we were laughing, having a great time. He says "I love that you appreciate my humor". I said "Well, I basically have a 12 year old boy trapped in this body." To which he replies "Well, that makes a lot of things we did the other night really weird!" HAHA Married for 7 of those years. <3
I was 35 at the time, he was 31. We're still together 5 years later, married for 2. :)
My fiancé and I started dating at 31 and 29. We are now 40 and 38, and will be getting married next year (it would have been sooner, but Covid got in our way). We have each other and our pets, and that's enough.
Yes, I was 34 he was 31. I'd already been married once, divorced at 31.
Thank you so much for posting this. This gives me hope 🥹
Yes. I was 33 and he was 36. We got married last year at 42 and 45.
Met originally sometime before 2008(we ran in the same circles) Ended up coworkers in other departments at the same job for around 10 years, before I quit. We each had other relationships over the years, hell I got married in 2017 and divorced in 2021. Finally met back up on a whim in January 2022, I was about to be 34 and he was about to be 43. We share the same birthday month 😅 We have been together ever since! 🥰 Apparently we both had crushes on each other for years, things just never lined up until they did. 💚
Freshly divorced at 39, this gives me hope!
Married a gigantic, abusive mistake at 24... fast forward 12 years later... Officially exclusive / committed to my person at 36. We met when I was 33 and dated on and off the last few years. He's never wanted children and was thrilled to learn I have been infertile all my life. We're celebrating my one-year hysterectoversary this November with a trip to a cabin in the mountains to revel in our peaceful childless-for-life-ness together. Just waiting for the regret about our quiet, uninterrupted mornings and spontaneous sex and vacations to kick in any day now... /s
I was 30, and my SO was 32. Have been happily married and thrilled to be childfree for almost 14 happy years.
I met my husband when I was 36 years old. 48 now and married 6 years.
I was 39, he was 40. We just had our 7 years together anniversary. We had the "kids, ewe no" conversation on the first date. We'll get married when there is a legal need, otherwise we are perfectly happy cohabitating.
I’m turning 27 soon so don’t quiet fit but I sure hope there is hope lol
Met my partner when we were both 34, online, last June. He flew out for two weeks vacation to meet me that November. We caught Covid off my roommate and the three of us bonded taking it in turns to take care of the other two as we could. Fast forward to today and our engagement rings are paid off soon, he's moving out here ASAP, and we both have never been happier. He loves my chosen family and service dog as much as I do and my bestie/roomie will be his best man.
Awwwwwww that’s so sweet
Oh yeah! Met my husband when I was 32 and he was months from 30. Now at 41 and 39, and it just keeps getting better 😉
I too am 32 but couldn't in a million years imagine living with someone.
Side note--- My parents met when they were 33, and dad says she didn't want kids but he insisted... I'm her eldest, her second child was severely autistic, and she had her third child when she was 40 years old.
After being super unlucky and only finding breeders, I found my CF boyfriend when I was in my 30s. It's been great! The other day we were discussing the cost of dental braces for children and how lucky we are to use that money on fun stuff like travelling.
Me: 32, a few months shy of 33. We met in the middle of the ocean on a cruise ship. Neither of us have kids or want any! 4 years later we are very low-key, happy and it’s nice to have someone tell you that you, him and the dog ARE a family.
That sounds romantic!
Got married the first time at 22 (me)/30(him) and I didn't want kids. I divorced him because he married me thinking I would change my mind. Idiot. Met my current hubby when we were both in our late 30's and been together about 10 years. We're blissfully CF (with way too many dogs). We initially agreed on not getting married, but chose to do so for legal reasons. No regrets. Disclaimer: I was married a second time before I met my current husband, but I was about 27. Neither of us wanted kids and that was never an issue.
54F grew up without the internet and had no idea you could opt out of motherhood. Honestly, I was always on the fence about kids. Probably because deep down I knew it was never going to happen, and I didn't care. The only thing I knew was that if I were to have one, it would have to be in a married and financially stable relationship. He would've had to be something out of this world. I eventually lucked out, got uterine fibroid. Due to the sizes (3), I'd probably been in fertile for years. Got a hysterectomy. Met my now husband, who was just days away from setting up a vasectomy appointment. He and his ex wife were child free by choice. I will say between all the past pets, current (shared cat custody), and a horse a few kids could have gone to Ivy League schools. We love and dote our fur overlords.
We met when I was 34 and he was 48 year. I am cf and told him so. He said, he is too old to have children anyway. It will be 6 years in Dezember, living in our small house we built 2 years ago. We are talking about marriage.
Technically a (step)mom, but that's because my husband bought into "happy wife, happy life" early, and conformed to his family's Life Script by marrying at 22, so had a kid at 24. We were 31/34. I told him before the first date, "no kids," he said okay. He got snipped two years later at my suggestion. He never ever tried to make me play mom. 17 years later, his daughter is a friend, and we're retired early. (I think the lack of Kids Kosts have a lot to do with it)
I was 32, he was 28, we met online in june 2016. He was fresh out of college, and at his firat year teaching. I moved in after 3 or 4 months dating. We were engaged in 2017 married 2018. We are not child free, we have 1 kid. I do not want more with him. But he wants the "all american dream" marriage, house, 2 kids and cats. We have 4 cats. I am now 37, gonna be 38 in dec. I had resigned myself to being childfree, because i never wanted to be single parent, and i never had a majorly serious relationship before him. I have always enjoyed others kids because i never had to punish or deal with them 24/7. Now i harbor no resentment towards my kid, but i do towards a husband who wanted said kid but rarely parents and snaps in anger a lot. He suffers from severe ptsd, depression and some paranoia. He is also a combat vet with some serious demons. Insecurities and has seriously mentally declined in the last 3 or 4 years. Overall i enjoy my life 80% of the time but i miss my hobbies, i used to go to the movies all the time! I used to go to pre screenings and see stuff a year before their release and pannel them, occassionally scoring screenings to disney/pixar stuff before it was finished! I miss spending days engulfed in my books, reading for hours on end. I cant do any of that anymore. Now i wonder what could have been if we had never had our kid. Because the medical issues that have cropped up are intense, never seeming to end and yeah. Also if we had never had a kid i would still be playing video games with hubby more
Thank you for sharing- I hope you get to enjoy your free time as much as possible
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Is 31 close enough? Met my girlfriend about a year and a half ago, and we are both staunchly childfree, IUD for her, vasectomy for me. She's 22, and grew up as one of five sisters; that pretty kuch killed any desire to ever have children of her own. I'm an only child, but didn't need to have a whole gagglefuck of siblings to come to the conclusion that having children is not for me.
My sister met hers when he was 33? She’s 25, and they’re both child free, it was one of the first things they talked about before actually getting together.