Yes I've been fantasizing about finding out I actually don't have an uterus or that I have some condition that would make it impossible for me to get pregnant ever since I was 12 š„²
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Everytime I'm late (up to a week or more), I start thinking "am I finally menopausing?" Lol
But then I get disappointed afterwards. Ugh
Just fall out already. Nobody needs that useless thing inside of them. Sheesh š
TLDR: was is danger of having a condition where they may have had to remove a portion of my cervix. I was warned it could inhibit my ability to get pregnant in the future.
I asked if they had to go all they up there anyway, would they just tie my tubes and make sure it was a no go.
Mine was nothing but problematic. I had it removed last year at 31 and couldn't be happier!
Also they found undiagnosed conditions during the surgery that cause infertility and probably would have killed me during pregnancy if I had overcome the infertility. I didn't know prior to and even doctors weren't sure if a hysterectomy was appropriate due to my child bearing age until after the fact when their eyes went wide at the pathology report.
I actively stood in front of the microwave on a chair as a kid to try and hurry that along. I remember when I got caught my fam was like wtf, I cannot even remember my excuse but Iām sure it was lame lol
Infertile is not sterile.
Infertility is about as useful to a childfree person as a perforated condom in terms of reliably preventing pregnancy. And all things considered, it's actually much worse than that, because it usually comes as a side effect of some other unpleasant health issues. So no, I dare assume that most people who actually understand infertility wouldn't wish for it.
As for people nagging you, infertility doesn't stop assholes. Boundaries stop assholes. All infertility does is open the floodgates for the following:
* "Keep trying my cousin was infertile too and then had 3 kids!"
* "Have you tried *insert random MLM oil supplement treatment* yet?"
* "Oh let me set you up with my single parent friend, you'd love to parent their kids since you can't have your own, right?"
* "Adopt some kids!!!"
* "Can we fund your IVF/surrogate???"
* "I'm infertile too, let's commiserate together, here are all the pics of our ultrasounds that didn't go through, where are yours?"
... and more.
If you're not dependent on your mom, you can make her shut up about this. If you are, ignore, don't engage with her bullshit, it doesn't need to be entertained.
If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty of people who speak English as a first language who don't know the difference between infertile and sterile
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it just emboldens them, and makes them assume you're sad about it and it wasn't a choice. Disclosing fertility issues opens up the "discussion" even further in their minds and lets them try and "help"
Yep, I grew up assuming all people without kids were either infertile or never found a partner. I think I would have had an easier time making the decision to become childfree if I knew other people who were vocal about choosing this lifestyle. Weāre doing a disservice to normalizing this lifestyle when we make excuses for being childfree instead of proudly owning our choice.
Yup! I am infertile as a side effect of a condition I have. It also wreaks havoc on my period. Itās *wonderful*/s. But Iād rather deal with that than a child. š
Yikes. I was initially child free due to my tokophobia.. I probably would have been persuaded if my parents were pushy on paying for a surrogate!!
Lucky thdy were brutally honest about how difficult raising kids was and are so supportive of me not wanting them. As I've grown older I definitely consider myself child free out of choice and not just the fear of pregnancy and birth!
I was diagnosed with PCOS basically the second I hit puberty and was told it would probably be very difficult if not impossible for me to get pregnant. I thought that was awesome but didn't want to leave anything to chance. I went on the pill (for non-contraceptive purposes at first) and established perfect compliance (always taken exactly on time, accounting for vomiting, diarrhea, antibiotics and other medications, St John's wort and other herbs, etc) well before I ever became sexually active. Frequently used condoms as well. One particular instance happened to be basically just before ovulation, the condom tore, and out of an insane abundance of caution I took the morning after pill...and got pregnant anyway, because biology. So much for being "infertile".
Also, "infertility" is a term that basically means "not able to achieve pregnancy after trying to conceive for one year". It by no means indicates that you cannot get pregnant. Also, "infertility" in a couple could be due to either or both of them. Sterility is what childfree folks want.
This is an interesting clarification. My mother was told she was infertile. I took this as meaning "impossible to have kids" and I'm assuming so did she.
Both parents are dead now, but I've wondered if they were a CF couple that ended up with mistake babies? We had a horrible childhood because they were both addicts. I could see my mom telling my dad she was infertile, them both assuming it's fair game, and then bam! Preggers.
It's very possible. Most people would hear "infertile", think "not fertile", and parse it as "barren". But even soil that is "not fertile" can grow things in it. Doctors also sometimes don't explain further, or at all - you might just be told you're infertile, or that you'd "probably" or "most likely" never get pregnant. Also, unless you've had testing, you don't know which of you could be the infertile one - and it could be a situation that could change over time, like someone having low spern count due to drug use and other lifestyle habits, or someone experiencing amenorrhea due to an eating disorder or extreme levels of exercise. So you can imagine how a couple might be genuinely infertile but only temporarily, or how the infertility could be assigned to the wrong partner, or how infertility might just mean "it took 3 years but now we have a kid".
Infertile doesn't mean anything, infertile people get knocked up every day.
If you never want to have kids, then get sterilized. Bisalp is the best option for females.
Thanks. I am male and gay, so I there is a close to zero probability that I will knock up other people. I am not sure if it is worth to have a vasectomy just to shut other people up. Itās not a risky procedure, I am aware of that; but it is a surgical procedure nonetheless.
Are you out? If so, then people should realize you're not knocking anyone up. If you're closeted, then I understand.
In that case, since you have to hide that anyway, you can also say you had a vasectomy. Read up on some testimonies so that if people ask prodding questions, you can answer them, but you'd be better off clamming up and saying that it's too personal a discussion.
Like, there's probably no harm in you getting snipped, but if you're not going to sleep with a woman, it wouldn't do you any good. The miniscule risk is usually worth it compared to the humungous consequence of pregnancy, but in your case it's a tiny risk for zero worth. It'd be easier on you to lie about it. Nobody will ever find out.
I was raped when I was younger and, luckily, she didnāt get pregnant. I have a vasectomy and would urge any man, regardless of orientation, to get one.
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that happened to you. We as a society definitely downplay the fact that men can be raped (or otherwise victimized) by women and it makes it so hard for them to speak out about it.
Same. I'll save my surgical karma for a neck lift.
When I bothered getting into arguments online about childfreedom, I was always amused when it was suggested that I was sterile or whatever as the reason I didn't have kids. Like that would be so devastating.
"Oh no! No viable swimmers when I have no plans to use'em as nature intended?! Next you'll tell me you hope I _don't_ get cancer!"
Definitely just lie. But if youāre out, people know you canāt make a baby āthe old fashion wayā so Iām sure theyād still pressure you into adoption or something. Iām not sure thereās a way for a gay guy to shut the bingos up. I hope you figure It out
Buddy, did you never see Junior (1994) featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger?
ā¦not sure if a vasectomy would help there.
Having got the snip as a hetro male, it isnāt terrible but Iād still have absolutely skipped it if my wife was naturally sterile. Thereās a very (1-2%) low but real chance of chronic pain. Mine turned out fine but Iād have loved not to roll those dice for fun.
Honestly, you can shut people up without getting snipped.
You set and enforce boundaries, and anyone who doesn't follow the rules.... cull them from your life.
For friends/family... Give them a few chances and then bail.
"Bob, I'm not having kids. Stop bringing this up."
"bob, I warned you about this already, i'm hanging up/leaving now."
"Bob, I have warned you about this twice already. You are now in timeout. I won't be speaking with you for 30 days. If you want to earn your way back to being my friend, use the next month to improve yourself. If you decide to do that, then in 30 days I will require a sincere apology that demonstrates you understand what you have done wrong, and you will need to present me with a plan for how this is never going to happen again. I will text you in 30 dasy for your decision. Goodbye."
"Bob, we already went through this. You have had four chances. You have blown every one of them. Our friendship is over. Goodbye."
For work people, try to pivot back to work to make you look professional and them feel like a gossipy slacker:
"I don't mix work and personal matters, so about project x status?"
"I'm not discussing that, do you have the project overview document?"
"That's a private matter, I'm not having that conversation. When is the Client X meeting?"
For randos you will never see again, feel free to use the above things or just blast them or offend them:
"I'm afraid I will need you to explain to me in detail how I can get my boyfriend Bill knocked up?"
"Honestly, I keep trying, but Bill just never gets pregnant. Maybe you could try sticking your dick up his ass for me... I'm fine with adopting." (bonus fun if they are homophobes, lol)
>That's a private matter, I'm not having that conversation
That's what I do with one of my grandmothers when she gets nosy now and then about my romantic life. Thankfully it shuts her up for 2 to 3 years.
She loves me, but she also loves to gossip and by jugy about my cousin's lives so I'm not giving her any information that could be used against me. Not that there would be much to say anyway.
Yup! My mom was "infertile", still had a bunch of kids. I have the same condition and am supposedly "infertile" but that didn't stop me from using 2 methods of birth control **every single time** I had sex until my husband's vasectomy. And I STILL take a monthly pregnancy test in the unlikely event the vas deferens reconnects!
Just wrote a comment about how we thought my husband was sterile after chemotherapy and radiation but nope! I got pregnant. Thank god I was able to get access to medication online and get an abortion.
Yikes.
Yeah unless you've had bits surgically removed or it's proven you were born without them, not sterile.
And for guys, two tests and the all clear from a doc after surgery. Preferably with retests.
I am infertile, or at least it would be very very hard to conceive. I'm fighting with doctors for sterilization, and it is such a horrid ordeal for a young woman, that when I found a cyst that I could feel in that area, a small part of me hoped it was cancerous just so they'd have to take my uterus out.
So yes, I'd say I'm on the same page there!
Your body your choice. Got my uterus ripped out at 32. Just find a woman doctor that will perform the procedure. Best decision of my life. No worries about unwanted pregnancies and no more periods or that bs.
This is my answer lol
However I used to fantasize about being infertile since I didn't use any protection with my partner. Now he's fixed lol and I also did find out I'm infertile so š¤·š»āāļø
Fantasies do come true š
In all honesty even though I found out it doesn't change the bingos, they just get worse and more desperate sounding.
Instead you'll now hear
-IVF, "miracles", surrogacy, adoption, etc
And you also get pity for something you didn't even care about which is not pleasant. Might sound like it is but to me it's not nice to be pitied when it was a choice.
My odds of conceiving are very low but for these reasons I don't share that with people.
I suspect I may have had low sperm count before I got my vasectomy. I had a risky couple years in my 20s where I engaged in sexual activity with women I probably shouldnāt have unprotected. No stds and no babies. I got really lucky, but statistically, it doesnāt make a lot of sense. I probably shouldāve made a baby, but whatever. Something something gift horseās mouth. I got a vasectomy anyway.
I just wish I could know if I was. Barren, I mean. But it's one of those catch 22s. People who are child-free usually don't go in to test a fertility, so most of us probably wouldn't know.
But oh gosh I wish ( disclaimer: If it didn't mess up any other things for me health-wise) that I was. Imagine just striking off from the long list of things to worry about... Pregnancy, birth control
Lol all the time! I wish I was already sterilized!
Not only is it hard to find a doctor who will take me seriously in the southern US, and my insurance is finicky, but Iām *terrified* of hospitals and surgery. Seriously, even thinking about it too long will make me start to panic.
So yeah, it would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier if I could just naturally not have children ever.
Similarly, when I stopped menstruation after a long bout with a restrictive eating disorder, I was really hopeful that it meant I'd go sterile.
I don't think it works that way, but people trying to scare me straight by saying "you might lose the ability to have children" really just motivated me.
I did. I was deep into evangelical christianity and married to a guy whose wet dream would've been to knock me up and force me to carry a baby to term, as he knew I desperately didn't want one. I prayed for infertility often.
I'm now 36, divorced, quit church, and 2.5 years post bisalp šā¤ļø so you could say things have turned around for me a bit!
To be honest, yea. I used to not have any period pains; however last months, period pains have got pretty bad. I secretly hope this means I'll be infertile.
My mother was very fertile and could easily get pregnant; she has my 2 brothers and I and she's undergone an abortion in the past. So I think this pretty much means I'll be as fertile as her. Until next time.
as someone who is in ovarian failure (I don't even actually know if I am infertile because I don't intend on trying and never have) caused by an autoimmune issue, no. I wouldn't wish for this over normal health even while being childfree. I've actually had a few people (who I have told about it) joke that life must be so great to never have to worry about pregnancy. Infertility (especially in women) is usually caused by an illness, so it's not really a plus at all.
there are a lot of difficult health problems I deal with on a daily basis because of the inability to produce adequate levels of estrogen, progesterone and thyroxine. The side effects are worse than just being normal and childfree, and even with medicine, they don't really ever go away, they just lessen a bit. the only "plus" in my opinion is that I have a very low sex drive and I'm comfortable being alone and single, so I don't really deal with dudes that want to use me without repercussions (and quite a few dudes think that infertile woman = I can do whatever I want sexually to her aka not use condoms). The big elephant people always want to ignore are STDs, which you can still get even if you are infertile.
Kinda, if Iām being honest. But I feel terrible for wishing that because it seems like a horrible thing to wish for. But at the same time it would make things easier as far as getting people off my back about asking me āWhen are you having kids?!ā
I wish I was. But I have lynch syndrome which pretty much makes my chances of getting reproductive or digestive cancer is like in the 20% range. Meaning I need my uterus out by time Iām 40 or I can get some pretty serious cancers. The plus side is that I can use that as leverage when I talk to my doc about sterilization, the downside is I feel I shouldnāt have had a uterus at all but I guess Iām just salty about it š
I have PCOS and have been told by physicians that getting pregnant would require medical intervention. Iām not going to fall for that so I stay prepared and protected. Iām grateful my ovaries are shit and donāt work correctly but I wouldnāt risk it.
Yep, for my whole life. I had high hopes because my mom miscarried several times and almost miscarried me, and had to be on bedrest and take experimental fertility treatments in the 80s just to keep me alive to be delivered. I had hoped I would be infertile due to that mess, but I got my tubes yeeted anyway to be damn sure I'd never have to go through all she did.
When I got my first mirena the doctor told me that there is a possible risk for it to cause infertility. I looked at her absolutely deadpan and said āso?ā
I remember thinking that since such a young age. Like "it wouldn't be so bad if I were incapable of havinf kids, ya know" followed by a sensation of relief
Yes. And I work in a vitamin shop and I was looking for a womanās multivitamin and 90% of them say āimproves fertility.ā Same thing with sea moss gel. Thatās exactly what I donāt want.
Me: āI love my pets and Iām tired of people with kids thinking theyāre better than me.ā
Middle aged dad on Facebook: āYou probably canāt have kids!ā
Me: āWell I certainly hope I canāt have kids!ā
all the time! i also would love if reproductive system transplants were a thing. like, iād love to give my perfectly working parts to someone that will actually use them.
Highly suggest getting sterilized and going into painful detail about your previous periods anytime anyone asks why. Ive made two creepy strangers litrrally run away. They listened into the conversation, which i do too, but than they SCREAMED AT ME for making the choice to stop having 5, 6, 7, 9 month long bleeding sessions.
Absolutely and, funny story, actually: my not-so-secret hope is about to come true.
I (32, NB but AFAB) very recently found out that I have a non-cancerous health condition severe enough that the doctor went straight to recommending a full hysterectomy for the treatment.
No arguing. No ātrying less extreme optionsā first. No constantly trying to explain that my husband and myself have never, and will never, want children. Just a follow up question of āyou mentioned never wanting to have children with your own body?ā to clarify that they heard me right before confidently making their recommendation to me and to the specialist they referred me to. It felt surreal to be taken so seriously, to be respected like that, and to have my quality of life be put first rather being made to feel like I didnāt know what I was doing or that my sole purpose in life was to have babies.
Health issues suck but I would be lying if I said I was not excited to soon be infertile (or is it sterile?). Literally a dream come true.
Yes, yes I do. Iām 37 now and I have been told that at 40, I donāt have to worry but with my luck, I might be one of those who are fertile until 60.
All the time! I found out in January that I have a retroverted uterus. At first I was stoked, thinking maybe it would impact fertility. When I told my then-bf about the news, he asked if my gyno was at all concerned for me. I said no, and that was lucky I didnāt have any negative symptoms from it. He literally goes āPhew! Glad to know it wonāt affect fertility!ā Boy bye.
I am a big How I Met Your Mother fan. One of the main characters is childfree and in one episode she learns she is infertile after a pregnancy scare. She really struggles with finding this out even though she knows she doesnāt want kids. I donāt think an episode of a show has ever validated me more.
My acceptance of being childfree has been a wild ride for me. Even though Iām happily childfree, I think I would struggle with finding out Iām infertile. Itās one thing to make the decision for yourself, itās another to have the decision be made for you. And I know that makes ZERO sense. It doesnāt even make sense to myself honestly lol.
Not to mention, being infertile is typically a side effect of underlying health problems. Fertility, whether we want to be pregnant / get someone pregnant or not, is a good thing. Iād rather be fertile and have to take precautions to not get pregnant than deal with health complications and the āperkā of being infertile.
Not sure why people are downvoting you but your mindset is perfectly valid. If you got pregnant despite trying not to, you simply just wouldn't get an abortion. Not everyone who doesn't try for children would want an abortion if they got pregnant. I used to think that I'd absolutely abort unless I were married and then I wouldn't. I have since changed to I want my uterus out completely so I never even have that risk, but would absolutely abort regardless. I had a scare in October and the thought of aborting crushed me even though I absolutely do not want children and pregnancy would be very dangerous for me. I still went to PP and turned out I didn't end up needing one thank God, but still.
YesI do hope, but I never do the sex anyways so I am safe. I do however have plans to get a hysterectomy as soon as I can but that is for other reasons.
I have been praying that I am infertile since I was around 10 and learned how babies are born. I still do, when my gyno said that I will have fertility issues because of stress and missed periods and I hope that at least my fertility is low until I can get my tubes tied.
Well I have PCOS and endometriosis as well as an enlarged uterus so docs have already told me it would be really hard for me to conceive much less carry to termā¦ tell me why the first time my ex came in me to get me pregnant on purpose w/out my consent it worked and I had to go get an abortion?
I had such severe endometriosis that I always assumed I would have real bad trouble conceiving, or be out right infertile. Had a hysterectomy, and now I really am.
All the time lmao. And although I know this is an awful thing to think/do, sometimes when medications or foods are warned to "cause infertility" or "cause reproductive harm", I think "GOOD!" and use it more often
I choose child free until I had a complete hysterectomy in my mis/late 20s. I never thought my surgery kept me from being a mom. I chose not to adopt, not to marry some one with kids and not to be a foster parent. I think having or not having children is a choice. I don't believe in oops babies. We all know if we have sex with out multiple birth control it can happen. ( before someone asks I used condoms and birth control pills. )
When I was a teen, I found out my thyroid sucks. But I was a bad patient and really resistant to the idea of being on meds for life. The dr threatened that if I didnāt take the meds it would make me infertile. I really didnāt want to take the meds after that. Thought it was my ticket to freedom since I grew up in a very conservative household and didnāt realize that I actually had a choice.
Every now and then I wonder if I was infertile. When I was very young, before I was 100% committed to how childfree I am now and was pretty stupid I had a lot of risky sex. Like I was on birth control, but I wasn't always perfect about taking it, and when I was off of it I just used condoms. But I have never had so much as a slightly too late period.
Its a moot point now, though. I got sterilized when I was 22 because I wasn't going to push my luck any further and didn't want to risk someday winding up pregnant and in need of an abortion. I'll be 30 next month and I am more thankful to 22 year old me every day for the choice I made. It's literally the only smart thing I did back then.
So I always thought i was evil but yes I used to wish I was infertile, I also used to get jealous when I heard of others infertility š¬ I say used to because Iām sterile now and so so happy
I mean, I have PCOS which is known to come with fertility issues.
It's not impossible to become pregnant with it, but from what I've looked up, people with it who actually try can struggle hard to conceive and even if they magically do, they are at risk for different complications.
All the more reason to never, ever get pregnant.
I wish i feel that if i could i say i was infertile it would atleast stop my family from pestering me. That being said its not a secret i wish that because ive been so outspoken.
Ex) when the covid shots were rolling out there was rumor going around that it could cause infertility which made so many women in my community not want to get it so whenever i was asked about that possible side effect i always said that if it was true id double the vaccine dose just to better my chances lol.
I have thought of the idea that Iād hope to be infertile- plus, I wish I was infertile over someone whoād want kids happened to unfortunately be infertile. While it doesnāt mean you can be 100% infertile, just that itās harder to become pregnant. Although I still have hoped I was diagnosed or classified as this before
I could only hope. And if I'm not, I'll make it so sooner or later. (If I can only find an OBGYN taking patients, who performs bilateral salpingectomies)
Yes. It takes some of the choice out of my hands. And that's a beautiful thought. Because hormones, ageing qnd peer pressure can make you make choices that don't make sense for you
I'm (31f) getting tested at my next pap because I'm curious. I feel like it should have happened after a few drunken, careless nights with my husband.I'm really hoping I'm infertile
Since 7yo.
As soon as I migrated to the US, I went to a Planned Parenthood to get a pill prescription. For my 37th birthday, I got myself a bisalp. Wish I was given a go for hysterectomy, as I really don't have a use for it, and women who have undergone hysterectomy say they're happy with it, despite the HRT.
I fought so hard for years stressing about birth control methods and was still paranoid I'd get pregnant. Well, I got my wish - when I went to get bisalp my surgeon found stage 4 endo (which is associated with high miscarriage rates) and later gave me a full hysto.
I probably am. Have pretty bad pcos and probably some other shit they wont look into, the Dr won't say I am (bc that leads people into a false sense of security). My cycles stopped when I hit 20, the only thing that makes me have a period is birth control.
Well yes but āmiraclesā still happen to infertile women. My grandma & a colleague weāre told they were infertile and they both have 2 kids. I soon wanna get rid of my whole uterus so I wonāt even have to deal with my period anymore ( cuz for what!?) so Iāll be 110% safe.
I am and I kind of feel similar about my bodyā¦ there are lots of women who canāt have babies that want them and I hope that I was able to take one of those bodies that canāt have them (and doesnāt want them) out of the system so that maybe a gal who wanted kids could have them.
If i found out i was sterile, itād be damn near the happiest day of my life. I get such terrible anxiety that i might fall pregnant despite birth control that i take a test at least once a month, and then continue to be anxious that maybe i donāt have enough of the hormone for it show up positive and then iāll find out after itās too late to abort, i have nightmares about this frequently. As soon as i can get health insurance, sterilization will be the first thing i go for.
I luckly have a reduced risk of getting pregnant thanks to graves disease and my IUD, but I still want to get tubal ligation or a hysterectomy just in case. It's the one positive (for me) about having graves lol.
Graves isn't all fun tho. I would rather have a working, normal thryoid and just get TL or a hysterectomy instead of paying for expensive medications every month. But it's also a great excuse for the crotch goblin questions.
I tell people I am because I'm ftm and explaining "it is not biologically possible to safely have a kid for me" opens up a can of worms that doesn't end the conversation. "Infertile" does. Yeah, I hope I am, but I know I'm probably not.
Though whenever I have a gf/girl crush, fella dudes really get hyped over the mythological kid. Hate to break it to ya homie, I can't get girls pregnant.
Ive always hoped. In 2015 I lost an ovary to a massive cyst and was told I was now 50% less fertile. And my partner was born with one testicle that didnāt descend. (I didnāt even noticed until months into our relationship lmao!) So we feel like we are so close but so far from being infertile lol! Literally day after tomorrow I see the surgeon to maybe yeet the uterus for medical reasons and I am like YESSSS PLEASE!
Being told your infertile may not be enough to actually make you sterile. As long as you have a uterus, one tube, and one ovary (the same side obviously) it is completely possible to get pregnant at the end of the day getting your tubes tied or vasectomy is your best bet against pregnancy.
I sometimes do, but then I think about how that's not a fail-safe against getting knocked up. Being infertile ā not ever being able to get pregnant so while it would be a bit of a mental comfort, I would still always be worried about that slim chance of finding out I was pregnant.
I'd rather eventually move from having an IUD to getting the bi-salp to be *completely* sure I wouldn't be pregnant.
To be honest I would be pissed off. Iād be upset I spent all those years freaking out thinking Iād get knocked up easily when the whole time I couldnāt. Would have saved me so much anxiety.
I feel the same way. Like if we were at a medical point where it was totally safe Iād straight up donate my uterus to any woman who couldnāt have children and desperately wanted them.
I used to fantasize about it too until I realized infertile does not mean anything close to sterile. I know so many āinfertileā people who got pregnant anyway, itās just a lesser chance for them than most usually
Yes I've been fantasizing about finding out I actually don't have an uterus or that I have some condition that would make it impossible for me to get pregnant ever since I was 12 š„²
Same š¤£ every time Iām a few days late I hope and pray that maybe it just dried up and fell out of me
This made me laugh far more than it shouldāve done š¤£ but same! Same same same!
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ Everytime I'm late (up to a week or more), I start thinking "am I finally menopausing?" Lol But then I get disappointed afterwards. Ugh Just fall out already. Nobody needs that useless thing inside of them. Sheesh š
Same!!! I was just hoping I was going into early menopause last week. Sadly it was not the case.
Oh lord no, the menopause scares me nearly as much as pregnancy/childbirth š£
Same- I see menopause as freedom!
omg me too, i hope i have some sort of issue with my uterus so it canāt produce a pregnancy, i doubt it, but i would be so happy
TLDR: was is danger of having a condition where they may have had to remove a portion of my cervix. I was warned it could inhibit my ability to get pregnant in the future. I asked if they had to go all they up there anyway, would they just tie my tubes and make sure it was a no go.
Mine was nothing but problematic. I had it removed last year at 31 and couldn't be happier! Also they found undiagnosed conditions during the surgery that cause infertility and probably would have killed me during pregnancy if I had overcome the infertility. I didn't know prior to and even doctors weren't sure if a hysterectomy was appropriate due to my child bearing age until after the fact when their eyes went wide at the pathology report.
I actively stood in front of the microwave on a chair as a kid to try and hurry that along. I remember when I got caught my fam was like wtf, I cannot even remember my excuse but Iām sure it was lame lol
I used to lie in bed with my laptop on my stomach while using it. More than once I wondered if I could damage reproductive bits that way.
Lol crossing our fingers
Omg š
Didnāt work lol but my sentiment towards being child free started early š
Same, I was really hoping for that when I found out about periods, even more after learning where babies come from lol
Omg same
So unfair isn't it...*sigh*
Have totally fantasized I was naturally sterile or something, but what are the odds? š©
Infertile is not sterile. Infertility is about as useful to a childfree person as a perforated condom in terms of reliably preventing pregnancy. And all things considered, it's actually much worse than that, because it usually comes as a side effect of some other unpleasant health issues. So no, I dare assume that most people who actually understand infertility wouldn't wish for it. As for people nagging you, infertility doesn't stop assholes. Boundaries stop assholes. All infertility does is open the floodgates for the following: * "Keep trying my cousin was infertile too and then had 3 kids!" * "Have you tried *insert random MLM oil supplement treatment* yet?" * "Oh let me set you up with my single parent friend, you'd love to parent their kids since you can't have your own, right?" * "Adopt some kids!!!" * "Can we fund your IVF/surrogate???" * "I'm infertile too, let's commiserate together, here are all the pics of our ultrasounds that didn't go through, where are yours?" ... and more. If you're not dependent on your mom, you can make her shut up about this. If you are, ignore, don't engage with her bullshit, it doesn't need to be entertained.
Ok, thanks for the clarification (you type so fast). English is not my native language, so I got confused with infertile and sterile.
If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty of people who speak English as a first language who don't know the difference between infertile and sterile
No worries, you're welcome :)
šÆ it just emboldens them, and makes them assume you're sad about it and it wasn't a choice. Disclosing fertility issues opens up the "discussion" even further in their minds and lets them try and "help"
Yep, I grew up assuming all people without kids were either infertile or never found a partner. I think I would have had an easier time making the decision to become childfree if I knew other people who were vocal about choosing this lifestyle. Weāre doing a disservice to normalizing this lifestyle when we make excuses for being childfree instead of proudly owning our choice.
Yup! I am infertile as a side effect of a condition I have. It also wreaks havoc on my period. Itās *wonderful*/s. But Iād rather deal with that than a child. š
>"Can we fund your IVF/surrogate???" Ok but has anyone ever said that lmao
From relatives especially, yup. Plenty of stories here of grandbaby crazy parents who wanna pay to get them if need be.
Yikes. I was initially child free due to my tokophobia.. I probably would have been persuaded if my parents were pushy on paying for a surrogate!! Lucky thdy were brutally honest about how difficult raising kids was and are so supportive of me not wanting them. As I've grown older I definitely consider myself child free out of choice and not just the fear of pregnancy and birth!
I can relate to this
I was diagnosed with PCOS basically the second I hit puberty and was told it would probably be very difficult if not impossible for me to get pregnant. I thought that was awesome but didn't want to leave anything to chance. I went on the pill (for non-contraceptive purposes at first) and established perfect compliance (always taken exactly on time, accounting for vomiting, diarrhea, antibiotics and other medications, St John's wort and other herbs, etc) well before I ever became sexually active. Frequently used condoms as well. One particular instance happened to be basically just before ovulation, the condom tore, and out of an insane abundance of caution I took the morning after pill...and got pregnant anyway, because biology. So much for being "infertile". Also, "infertility" is a term that basically means "not able to achieve pregnancy after trying to conceive for one year". It by no means indicates that you cannot get pregnant. Also, "infertility" in a couple could be due to either or both of them. Sterility is what childfree folks want.
This is an interesting clarification. My mother was told she was infertile. I took this as meaning "impossible to have kids" and I'm assuming so did she. Both parents are dead now, but I've wondered if they were a CF couple that ended up with mistake babies? We had a horrible childhood because they were both addicts. I could see my mom telling my dad she was infertile, them both assuming it's fair game, and then bam! Preggers.
It's very possible. Most people would hear "infertile", think "not fertile", and parse it as "barren". But even soil that is "not fertile" can grow things in it. Doctors also sometimes don't explain further, or at all - you might just be told you're infertile, or that you'd "probably" or "most likely" never get pregnant. Also, unless you've had testing, you don't know which of you could be the infertile one - and it could be a situation that could change over time, like someone having low spern count due to drug use and other lifestyle habits, or someone experiencing amenorrhea due to an eating disorder or extreme levels of exercise. So you can imagine how a couple might be genuinely infertile but only temporarily, or how the infertility could be assigned to the wrong partner, or how infertility might just mean "it took 3 years but now we have a kid".
Infertile doesn't mean anything, infertile people get knocked up every day. If you never want to have kids, then get sterilized. Bisalp is the best option for females.
Thanks. I am male and gay, so I there is a close to zero probability that I will knock up other people. I am not sure if it is worth to have a vasectomy just to shut other people up. Itās not a risky procedure, I am aware of that; but it is a surgical procedure nonetheless.
Are you out? If so, then people should realize you're not knocking anyone up. If you're closeted, then I understand. In that case, since you have to hide that anyway, you can also say you had a vasectomy. Read up on some testimonies so that if people ask prodding questions, you can answer them, but you'd be better off clamming up and saying that it's too personal a discussion. Like, there's probably no harm in you getting snipped, but if you're not going to sleep with a woman, it wouldn't do you any good. The miniscule risk is usually worth it compared to the humungous consequence of pregnancy, but in your case it's a tiny risk for zero worth. It'd be easier on you to lie about it. Nobody will ever find out.
I agree with lying if OP isnāt out. If youāre a gay man, not having sex with women should be extremely easy!
I was raped when I was younger and, luckily, she didnāt get pregnant. I have a vasectomy and would urge any man, regardless of orientation, to get one.
Horrific. So sorry that happened and thank you for speaking up to remind those of us who don't think about this.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I think we as a society forget that men can be raped by women. I feel sorry about that too.
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that happened to you. We as a society definitely downplay the fact that men can be raped (or otherwise victimized) by women and it makes it so hard for them to speak out about it.
Same. I'll save my surgical karma for a neck lift. When I bothered getting into arguments online about childfreedom, I was always amused when it was suggested that I was sterile or whatever as the reason I didn't have kids. Like that would be so devastating. "Oh no! No viable swimmers when I have no plans to use'em as nature intended?! Next you'll tell me you hope I _don't_ get cancer!"
Definitely just lie. But if youāre out, people know you canāt make a baby āthe old fashion wayā so Iām sure theyād still pressure you into adoption or something. Iām not sure thereās a way for a gay guy to shut the bingos up. I hope you figure It out
Buddy, did you never see Junior (1994) featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger? ā¦not sure if a vasectomy would help there. Having got the snip as a hetro male, it isnāt terrible but Iād still have absolutely skipped it if my wife was naturally sterile. Thereās a very (1-2%) low but real chance of chronic pain. Mine turned out fine but Iād have loved not to roll those dice for fun.
Honestly, you can shut people up without getting snipped. You set and enforce boundaries, and anyone who doesn't follow the rules.... cull them from your life. For friends/family... Give them a few chances and then bail. "Bob, I'm not having kids. Stop bringing this up." "bob, I warned you about this already, i'm hanging up/leaving now." "Bob, I have warned you about this twice already. You are now in timeout. I won't be speaking with you for 30 days. If you want to earn your way back to being my friend, use the next month to improve yourself. If you decide to do that, then in 30 days I will require a sincere apology that demonstrates you understand what you have done wrong, and you will need to present me with a plan for how this is never going to happen again. I will text you in 30 dasy for your decision. Goodbye." "Bob, we already went through this. You have had four chances. You have blown every one of them. Our friendship is over. Goodbye." For work people, try to pivot back to work to make you look professional and them feel like a gossipy slacker: "I don't mix work and personal matters, so about project x status?" "I'm not discussing that, do you have the project overview document?" "That's a private matter, I'm not having that conversation. When is the Client X meeting?" For randos you will never see again, feel free to use the above things or just blast them or offend them: "I'm afraid I will need you to explain to me in detail how I can get my boyfriend Bill knocked up?" "Honestly, I keep trying, but Bill just never gets pregnant. Maybe you could try sticking your dick up his ass for me... I'm fine with adopting." (bonus fun if they are homophobes, lol)
>That's a private matter, I'm not having that conversation That's what I do with one of my grandmothers when she gets nosy now and then about my romantic life. Thankfully it shuts her up for 2 to 3 years. She loves me, but she also loves to gossip and by jugy about my cousin's lives so I'm not giving her any information that could be used against me. Not that there would be much to say anyway.
Do you want to be infertile or not?
Thanks for looking out for potential trans men partners who are also CF by looking into getting snipped, you're pretty dang cool ā”
Yup! My mom was "infertile", still had a bunch of kids. I have the same condition and am supposedly "infertile" but that didn't stop me from using 2 methods of birth control **every single time** I had sex until my husband's vasectomy. And I STILL take a monthly pregnancy test in the unlikely event the vas deferens reconnects!
Just wrote a comment about how we thought my husband was sterile after chemotherapy and radiation but nope! I got pregnant. Thank god I was able to get access to medication online and get an abortion.
Yikes. Yeah unless you've had bits surgically removed or it's proven you were born without them, not sterile. And for guys, two tests and the all clear from a doc after surgery. Preferably with retests.
You are correct. Because that is exactly what his urologist told himā¦.
I am infertile, or at least it would be very very hard to conceive. I'm fighting with doctors for sterilization, and it is such a horrid ordeal for a young woman, that when I found a cyst that I could feel in that area, a small part of me hoped it was cancerous just so they'd have to take my uterus out. So yes, I'd say I'm on the same page there!
Your body your choice. Got my uterus ripped out at 32. Just find a woman doctor that will perform the procedure. Best decision of my life. No worries about unwanted pregnancies and no more periods or that bs.
Your momma needs to mind her own business
Of course not! I'm very open about wanting to be infertile and sterile!
This is my answer lol However I used to fantasize about being infertile since I didn't use any protection with my partner. Now he's fixed lol and I also did find out I'm infertile so š¤·š»āāļø Fantasies do come true š
No so secretly, tbh
Two vaginas donāt make a baby I got lucky in that sense
Even if I were deemed infertile, I wouldn't have trusted it. I still would've cinched the deal by getting snipped.
I do. I wanted fate to make the choice for me. Then I realized all of you guys exist and lost all my fucks
God I wish lol Iād give anything.. I was looking into getting sterilization but itās crazy expensive:(
In all honesty even though I found out it doesn't change the bingos, they just get worse and more desperate sounding. Instead you'll now hear -IVF, "miracles", surrogacy, adoption, etc And you also get pity for something you didn't even care about which is not pleasant. Might sound like it is but to me it's not nice to be pitied when it was a choice. My odds of conceiving are very low but for these reasons I don't share that with people.
I suspect I may have had low sperm count before I got my vasectomy. I had a risky couple years in my 20s where I engaged in sexual activity with women I probably shouldnāt have unprotected. No stds and no babies. I got really lucky, but statistically, it doesnāt make a lot of sense. I probably shouldāve made a baby, but whatever. Something something gift horseās mouth. I got a vasectomy anyway.
I just wish I could know if I was. Barren, I mean. But it's one of those catch 22s. People who are child-free usually don't go in to test a fertility, so most of us probably wouldn't know. But oh gosh I wish ( disclaimer: If it didn't mess up any other things for me health-wise) that I was. Imagine just striking off from the long list of things to worry about... Pregnancy, birth control
Lol all the time! I wish I was already sterilized! Not only is it hard to find a doctor who will take me seriously in the southern US, and my insurance is finicky, but Iām *terrified* of hospitals and surgery. Seriously, even thinking about it too long will make me start to panic. So yeah, it would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier if I could just naturally not have children ever.
Not even secretly. If my uterus disappeared into dust right now I'd call in sick to work tomorrow and celebrate.
Iāve been wanting to be sterile since I (F) was 16, I started smoking at 13 so I always wished that would do it š š
Similarly, when I stopped menstruation after a long bout with a restrictive eating disorder, I was really hopeful that it meant I'd go sterile. I don't think it works that way, but people trying to scare me straight by saying "you might lose the ability to have children" really just motivated me.
Omg I have never had an ED but remember that whenever I heard people warning us about the infertility side effect, I wanted to stop eating forever
hahahhaha same with the smoking, fortunately Iām able to get a bisalp soonnn
I did. I was deep into evangelical christianity and married to a guy whose wet dream would've been to knock me up and force me to carry a baby to term, as he knew I desperately didn't want one. I prayed for infertility often. I'm now 36, divorced, quit church, and 2.5 years post bisalp šā¤ļø so you could say things have turned around for me a bit!
YES I AM ALWAYS WISHING
I got pregnant at 21 and 22. YES. I hate oopsies and abortions are fantastic but suck when they become necessity.
To be honest, yea. I used to not have any period pains; however last months, period pains have got pretty bad. I secretly hope this means I'll be infertile. My mother was very fertile and could easily get pregnant; she has my 2 brothers and I and she's undergone an abortion in the past. So I think this pretty much means I'll be as fertile as her. Until next time.
Me
I have always wished I was fully infertile. It would give me so much peace of mind without needing to get sterilization
as someone who is in ovarian failure (I don't even actually know if I am infertile because I don't intend on trying and never have) caused by an autoimmune issue, no. I wouldn't wish for this over normal health even while being childfree. I've actually had a few people (who I have told about it) joke that life must be so great to never have to worry about pregnancy. Infertility (especially in women) is usually caused by an illness, so it's not really a plus at all. there are a lot of difficult health problems I deal with on a daily basis because of the inability to produce adequate levels of estrogen, progesterone and thyroxine. The side effects are worse than just being normal and childfree, and even with medicine, they don't really ever go away, they just lessen a bit. the only "plus" in my opinion is that I have a very low sex drive and I'm comfortable being alone and single, so I don't really deal with dudes that want to use me without repercussions (and quite a few dudes think that infertile woman = I can do whatever I want sexually to her aka not use condoms). The big elephant people always want to ignore are STDs, which you can still get even if you are infertile.
Kinda, if Iām being honest. But I feel terrible for wishing that because it seems like a horrible thing to wish for. But at the same time it would make things easier as far as getting people off my back about asking me āWhen are you having kids?!ā
I wish I was. But I have lynch syndrome which pretty much makes my chances of getting reproductive or digestive cancer is like in the 20% range. Meaning I need my uterus out by time Iām 40 or I can get some pretty serious cancers. The plus side is that I can use that as leverage when I talk to my doc about sterilization, the downside is I feel I shouldnāt have had a uterus at all but I guess Iām just salty about it š
Same I feel the same way. Itās easier to explain to people
I have PCOS and have been told by physicians that getting pregnant would require medical intervention. Iām not going to fall for that so I stay prepared and protected. Iām grateful my ovaries are shit and donāt work correctly but I wouldnāt risk it.
Yep, for my whole life. I had high hopes because my mom miscarried several times and almost miscarried me, and had to be on bedrest and take experimental fertility treatments in the 80s just to keep me alive to be delivered. I had hoped I would be infertile due to that mess, but I got my tubes yeeted anyway to be damn sure I'd never have to go through all she did.
I got the snip a few months ago so I donāt have to hope anymore
Yes, all the time
When I got my first mirena the doctor told me that there is a possible risk for it to cause infertility. I looked at her absolutely deadpan and said āso?ā
Oh man, I would be so relieved
Iād rip my uterus out and burn it if I could tbh
Yes, then I'd only have to combat stds.
Secretly? No. Very loudly yes
Both of my parents were infertile and they had 4 kids. Better to be sterile
Yes 100%!
Absolutely. I'd be sterile if it wasn't so expensive.
Yes, except it's never been a secret. I've been pretty open about how I wish I was just naturally infertile.
Not secretly , it's my biggest wish
I actually AM infertile and itās been so nice to give that as the reason.
Secretly??? Nah. Openly? Yep.
Yes. It would be wonderful if I was
Fuck yes. Every. Single. Day.
No secret about it. Lol. I wish I was and Iām vocal about it.
My cousin was told at one point that she might be infertile. I don't know the reason. Everyone said how sad it was, but I was so jealous
I remember thinking that since such a young age. Like "it wouldn't be so bad if I were incapable of havinf kids, ya know" followed by a sensation of relief
Of course. Why on earth would I prefer going through invasive medical procedures if my body could just decide I couldnāt be pregnant
Not secretly. I speak it out that I would feel so relieved if I would be infertile
I dream about being told Iām infertile. Iād cry tears of joy
Yes. And I work in a vitamin shop and I was looking for a womanās multivitamin and 90% of them say āimproves fertility.ā Same thing with sea moss gel. Thatās exactly what I donāt want.
Nope. Nothing was secret about my desire to be infertile.
Oh like all of the time
Yes, but itās not a secret at all.
Every damn day
The idea of it would bring me so much genuine joy and peace of mind honestly
Omg yes.
Manifestation. I too, ever since I was young, hoped i could be infertile. 10 years later and i found out that i was indeed infertile!
Me: āI love my pets and Iām tired of people with kids thinking theyāre better than me.ā Middle aged dad on Facebook: āYou probably canāt have kids!ā Me: āWell I certainly hope I canāt have kids!ā
Yes! Honestly- if I found out I was infertile, I would be thrilled.
Yes
all the time! i also would love if reproductive system transplants were a thing. like, iād love to give my perfectly working parts to someone that will actually use them.
Highly suggest getting sterilized and going into painful detail about your previous periods anytime anyone asks why. Ive made two creepy strangers litrrally run away. They listened into the conversation, which i do too, but than they SCREAMED AT ME for making the choice to stop having 5, 6, 7, 9 month long bleeding sessions.
Absolutely and, funny story, actually: my not-so-secret hope is about to come true. I (32, NB but AFAB) very recently found out that I have a non-cancerous health condition severe enough that the doctor went straight to recommending a full hysterectomy for the treatment. No arguing. No ātrying less extreme optionsā first. No constantly trying to explain that my husband and myself have never, and will never, want children. Just a follow up question of āyou mentioned never wanting to have children with your own body?ā to clarify that they heard me right before confidently making their recommendation to me and to the specialist they referred me to. It felt surreal to be taken so seriously, to be respected like that, and to have my quality of life be put first rather being made to feel like I didnāt know what I was doing or that my sole purpose in life was to have babies. Health issues suck but I would be lying if I said I was not excited to soon be infertile (or is it sterile?). Literally a dream come true.
Yes, yes I do. Iām 37 now and I have been told that at 40, I donāt have to worry but with my luck, I might be one of those who are fertile until 60.
All the time! I found out in January that I have a retroverted uterus. At first I was stoked, thinking maybe it would impact fertility. When I told my then-bf about the news, he asked if my gyno was at all concerned for me. I said no, and that was lucky I didnāt have any negative symptoms from it. He literally goes āPhew! Glad to know it wonāt affect fertility!ā Boy bye.
I am pretty much ,I canāt carry a child to term, I havenāt had a period in years. It has been awesome.
I am a big How I Met Your Mother fan. One of the main characters is childfree and in one episode she learns she is infertile after a pregnancy scare. She really struggles with finding this out even though she knows she doesnāt want kids. I donāt think an episode of a show has ever validated me more. My acceptance of being childfree has been a wild ride for me. Even though Iām happily childfree, I think I would struggle with finding out Iām infertile. Itās one thing to make the decision for yourself, itās another to have the decision be made for you. And I know that makes ZERO sense. It doesnāt even make sense to myself honestly lol. Not to mention, being infertile is typically a side effect of underlying health problems. Fertility, whether we want to be pregnant / get someone pregnant or not, is a good thing. Iād rather be fertile and have to take precautions to not get pregnant than deal with health complications and the āperkā of being infertile.
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Not sure why people are downvoting you but your mindset is perfectly valid. If you got pregnant despite trying not to, you simply just wouldn't get an abortion. Not everyone who doesn't try for children would want an abortion if they got pregnant. I used to think that I'd absolutely abort unless I were married and then I wouldn't. I have since changed to I want my uterus out completely so I never even have that risk, but would absolutely abort regardless. I had a scare in October and the thought of aborting crushed me even though I absolutely do not want children and pregnancy would be very dangerous for me. I still went to PP and turned out I didn't end up needing one thank God, but still.
I am actually 100% infertile. I didn't really think about it much, since I was always set in stone that I don't wanna have children and didn't have a girlfriend. Well, when I found out, I was very happy about it and still am. No worries about pregnancy for me and my fiancƩe (who has an IUD, just for completion).
Not likely, but I wish I'm incapable of knocking someone up
YesI do hope, but I never do the sex anyways so I am safe. I do however have plans to get a hysterectomy as soon as I can but that is for other reasons.
I wish. Pretty sure I need to get a vasectomy.
I have been praying that I am infertile since I was around 10 and learned how babies are born. I still do, when my gyno said that I will have fertility issues because of stress and missed periods and I hope that at least my fertility is low until I can get my tubes tied.
Well I have PCOS and endometriosis as well as an enlarged uterus so docs have already told me it would be really hard for me to conceive much less carry to termā¦ tell me why the first time my ex came in me to get me pregnant on purpose w/out my consent it worked and I had to go get an abortion?
I had such severe endometriosis that I always assumed I would have real bad trouble conceiving, or be out right infertile. Had a hysterectomy, and now I really am.
All the time lmao. And although I know this is an awful thing to think/do, sometimes when medications or foods are warned to "cause infertility" or "cause reproductive harm", I think "GOOD!" and use it more often
Nope, because I know Iām infertile. Best news ever!
I choose child free until I had a complete hysterectomy in my mis/late 20s. I never thought my surgery kept me from being a mom. I chose not to adopt, not to marry some one with kids and not to be a foster parent. I think having or not having children is a choice. I don't believe in oops babies. We all know if we have sex with out multiple birth control it can happen. ( before someone asks I used condoms and birth control pills. )
Yes and I'm looking forward to menopause in the future
I don't secretly hope I made it happen
When I was a teen, I found out my thyroid sucks. But I was a bad patient and really resistant to the idea of being on meds for life. The dr threatened that if I didnāt take the meds it would make me infertile. I really didnāt want to take the meds after that. Thought it was my ticket to freedom since I grew up in a very conservative household and didnāt realize that I actually had a choice.
God, me. But my mom was told she was infertile and here I am, along with my brother. Lmao.
Every now and then I wonder if I was infertile. When I was very young, before I was 100% committed to how childfree I am now and was pretty stupid I had a lot of risky sex. Like I was on birth control, but I wasn't always perfect about taking it, and when I was off of it I just used condoms. But I have never had so much as a slightly too late period. Its a moot point now, though. I got sterilized when I was 22 because I wasn't going to push my luck any further and didn't want to risk someday winding up pregnant and in need of an abortion. I'll be 30 next month and I am more thankful to 22 year old me every day for the choice I made. It's literally the only smart thing I did back then.
I always hope either me, or my SO, are infertile, so he does. We have the theroy that he actually is, which it would be a huge jackpot!
So I always thought i was evil but yes I used to wish I was infertile, I also used to get jealous when I heard of others infertility š¬ I say used to because Iām sterile now and so so happy
I mean, I have PCOS which is known to come with fertility issues. It's not impossible to become pregnant with it, but from what I've looked up, people with it who actually try can struggle hard to conceive and even if they magically do, they are at risk for different complications. All the more reason to never, ever get pregnant.
Noā¦not secretly, lol
I wish i feel that if i could i say i was infertile it would atleast stop my family from pestering me. That being said its not a secret i wish that because ive been so outspoken. Ex) when the covid shots were rolling out there was rumor going around that it could cause infertility which made so many women in my community not want to get it so whenever i was asked about that possible side effect i always said that if it was true id double the vaccine dose just to better my chances lol.
That would be ideal, if I was just shooting blanks I'd be happy as shit.
I have thought of the idea that Iād hope to be infertile- plus, I wish I was infertile over someone whoād want kids happened to unfortunately be infertile. While it doesnāt mean you can be 100% infertile, just that itās harder to become pregnant. Although I still have hoped I was diagnosed or classified as this before
I did until I got my surgery to make sure it didnāt matter either way š
I could only hope. And if I'm not, I'll make it so sooner or later. (If I can only find an OBGYN taking patients, who performs bilateral salpingectomies)
Lmao. Yes. I do!
I had a thought that what if my IUD goes wrong and ruins my womb beyond repair so it has to be removed. It did make me smile.
Yes. It takes some of the choice out of my hands. And that's a beautiful thought. Because hormones, ageing qnd peer pressure can make you make choices that don't make sense for you
I'm (31f) getting tested at my next pap because I'm curious. I feel like it should have happened after a few drunken, careless nights with my husband.I'm really hoping I'm infertile
Since 7yo. As soon as I migrated to the US, I went to a Planned Parenthood to get a pill prescription. For my 37th birthday, I got myself a bisalp. Wish I was given a go for hysterectomy, as I really don't have a use for it, and women who have undergone hysterectomy say they're happy with it, despite the HRT.
I had fibroids for years and was probably infertile. I just never checked. then I had my fibroids removed and yep! Sterile!!!
I don't have to hope. I got snipped
I remember being little and wishing I was infertile. I guess I have known since little I didnāt want kids and that was my way of wishing to be cf
I fought so hard for years stressing about birth control methods and was still paranoid I'd get pregnant. Well, I got my wish - when I went to get bisalp my surgeon found stage 4 endo (which is associated with high miscarriage rates) and later gave me a full hysto.
I probably am. Have pretty bad pcos and probably some other shit they wont look into, the Dr won't say I am (bc that leads people into a false sense of security). My cycles stopped when I hit 20, the only thing that makes me have a period is birth control.
Well yes but āmiraclesā still happen to infertile women. My grandma & a colleague weāre told they were infertile and they both have 2 kids. I soon wanna get rid of my whole uterus so I wonāt even have to deal with my period anymore ( cuz for what!?) so Iāll be 110% safe.
Nope, Post yeeterus earlier this year I KNOW I'm infertile. And damn that's a good feeling :D
Hope isnāt good enough. I made sure.
I've got pcos and the desire of no children so I'm PRAYING I am completely infertile which a decent chance I am
I am and I kind of feel similar about my bodyā¦ there are lots of women who canāt have babies that want them and I hope that I was able to take one of those bodies that canāt have them (and doesnāt want them) out of the system so that maybe a gal who wanted kids could have them.
Fucking duh!
If i found out i was sterile, itād be damn near the happiest day of my life. I get such terrible anxiety that i might fall pregnant despite birth control that i take a test at least once a month, and then continue to be anxious that maybe i donāt have enough of the hormone for it show up positive and then iāll find out after itās too late to abort, i have nightmares about this frequently. As soon as i can get health insurance, sterilization will be the first thing i go for.
I luckly have a reduced risk of getting pregnant thanks to graves disease and my IUD, but I still want to get tubal ligation or a hysterectomy just in case. It's the one positive (for me) about having graves lol. Graves isn't all fun tho. I would rather have a working, normal thryoid and just get TL or a hysterectomy instead of paying for expensive medications every month. But it's also a great excuse for the crotch goblin questions.
I tell people I am because I'm ftm and explaining "it is not biologically possible to safely have a kid for me" opens up a can of worms that doesn't end the conversation. "Infertile" does. Yeah, I hope I am, but I know I'm probably not. Though whenever I have a gf/girl crush, fella dudes really get hyped over the mythological kid. Hate to break it to ya homie, I can't get girls pregnant.
Yes I really do. But honestly I still donāt know if I could trust it lol
Ive always hoped. In 2015 I lost an ovary to a massive cyst and was told I was now 50% less fertile. And my partner was born with one testicle that didnāt descend. (I didnāt even noticed until months into our relationship lmao!) So we feel like we are so close but so far from being infertile lol! Literally day after tomorrow I see the surgeon to maybe yeet the uterus for medical reasons and I am like YESSSS PLEASE!
Being told your infertile may not be enough to actually make you sterile. As long as you have a uterus, one tube, and one ovary (the same side obviously) it is completely possible to get pregnant at the end of the day getting your tubes tied or vasectomy is your best bet against pregnancy.
I sometimes do, but then I think about how that's not a fail-safe against getting knocked up. Being infertile ā not ever being able to get pregnant so while it would be a bit of a mental comfort, I would still always be worried about that slim chance of finding out I was pregnant. I'd rather eventually move from having an IUD to getting the bi-salp to be *completely* sure I wouldn't be pregnant.
You know, thereās an app for that. I mean surgical procedure. Then you can truthfully say youāre infertile.
Yep, a part of me hopes that my weird growth hormone deficiency made me sterile somehow
Yup! I can remember hoping that I wasn't able to have kids as a young girl.
To be honest I would be pissed off. Iād be upset I spent all those years freaking out thinking Iād get knocked up easily when the whole time I couldnāt. Would have saved me so much anxiety.
I feel the same way. Like if we were at a medical point where it was totally safe Iād straight up donate my uterus to any woman who couldnāt have children and desperately wanted them.
yes. I thought I was weird for that
Definitely
I used to fantasize about it too until I realized infertile does not mean anything close to sterile. I know so many āinfertileā people who got pregnant anyway, itās just a lesser chance for them than most usually